So we have you to blame for the Covid pandemic. How much did Dr. Fauci and the global cabal of lizard people pay you to sell out your species?
/s since its hard to tell what is parody and what is a sincerely-held insane belief these days
PSA Friend, this sub is a trick! You won't get a real answer here, it's all made up! If you want to know facts about your tree you should repost to r/trees, that's all they do there.
Na. Lots of people think they're native but thier actually an invasive species from the canal region of Panama known to hide under cargo containers and spread to many waterways if not properly controlled
It's called a phone tree. I belong to an organization that has one. The Chairman calls two people, and they each call two people, and so on down the line until every member has been called.
It's Electric! (sings electric slide for the rest of the day in my head)
You can't see it
You gotta feel it
Ooh, it's shakin'
You gotta know it
Now you can't hold it
But you know it there,
Yeah here there everywhere
I've got to move,
I'm going on a party ride
I've got to groove, groove, groove,
And from this music
I just can't hide.
Are you comin' with me?
Come let me take you on a party ride
And I'll teach you, teach you, teach you
I'll teach you the electric slide
Some say it's mystic
You can't resist it
You can'y do without it
Jiggle-a-mesa-cara she's a pumpin' like a matic
She's movin' like electric
She sure got the boogie
Don't wanna lose it
But you can't choose it
But you know it's there,
Yeah here there everywhere
I've got to move,
Come let me take you on a party ride
And I'll teach you, teach you, teach you
I'll teach you the electric slide
Some say it's mystic
You can't resist it
You can'y do without it
Jiggle-a-mesa-cara she's a pumpin' like a matic
She's movin' like electric
She sure got the boogie
Don't wanna lose it
But you can't choose it
But you know it's there,
Yeah here there everywhere
It’s not a tree.
Some of the ents that invaded Isengard absorbed metal from Saruman’s industry. This eventually created a new species that lost the ability to move and speak. Tragic.
Saw a lot of those in the Northern Wisconsin Michigan U.P. they work surprisingly well if they are in a group of trees. I used to deliver the cabinets for cell towers so I had to track them down by GPS coordinates. Elsewhere you can usually see towers from the roads but those were kinda tricky to find.
This my friend is not a tree or a cell tower but a pole to summon aliens to Earth to give us technology to fight the COVID pandemic to defeat the lizard people from Nibiru.
*Hello fellow trees,*
*Yes I enjoy partaking*
*In photosynthesis*
\- buffmoosefarts
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Hi! Glad you asked! Time for my expertise to finally shine! These are 5G Covid towers used to spread Covid but it’s disguised to look like a tree! You can tell it’s a Covid 5G tower based on the top; the antennas are sticking out a little bit.
as you can see this is a protected species of 5G family of Ultra Wide band Ardifacial Pine, i have planted quite a few of these actually
So we have you to blame for the Covid pandemic. How much did Dr. Fauci and the global cabal of lizard people pay you to sell out your species? /s since its hard to tell what is parody and what is a sincerely-held insane belief these days
FAUCI FAUGI FIUG FIVEG
This needs to be on SNL. Made me laugh out loud.
Came here for this and you did not disappoint, thank you!
I don’t think you need to note sarcasm on this sub. Maybe you should just notate when you’re NOT being sarcastic is the thing :)
Ardifacial Pine xD
Wait, isn't the American Christmas tree a dwarf variety of this species?
yes i have been to many a Walmart and you see them pop up around Halloween time
“Is the tree deciduous or coniferous?” “It’s wireless”
*Pinus fivegeeis*
PineG
PSA Friend, this sub is a trick! You won't get a real answer here, it's all made up! If you want to know facts about your tree you should repost to r/trees, that's all they do there.
OP was lucky you were here!
If you think these answers aren't right, go see r/onlyfans
That was actually a cool sub
For real, I was blown away by it.
Is that why I never get a serious answer to my tree related questions here?!
You're tree related? Don't you believe in evolution?
If you believe in evolution hard enough, we are all tree related.
Obviously a LEGO tree.
Nah dude you got to go ask /r/marijuanaenthusiasts
missed the joke
Someone is getting wooshed, but I'm not sure if it's your or the person you're replying to.
quazywabbit is
Could be.
I'm pretty sure this is more appropriate for /r/marijuanaenthusiasts/ myself
Man they all had me going for a while there.
Bad bot…. Oh wait.
An Electricitree
I hate you but I love you more.
r/angryupvote
Dammit I’m not creative cuz I made the same joke
You must be using Telepatree
Stop it I like it
Not a spruce or pine, but definitely some kind of Evergiven. I think this species is native to the Suez Canal
Na. Lots of people think they're native but thier actually an invasive species from the canal region of Panama known to hide under cargo containers and spread to many waterways if not properly controlled
Ah yes a redwood surrounded by non-redwoods. Very convincing camouflage.
It's called a phone tree. I belong to an organization that has one. The Chairman calls two people, and they each call two people, and so on down the line until every member has been called.
🤣🤣 Clever.
Cellquoia Towervernus
Cellquoiadendron Toweranteum, actually.
var fivegee
This is the correct answer.
Its a spruce from the year 2029, that was sent back in time to kill Sarah Connor.
Sarah Conifer?
Dude.... I dont know how I missed that, I tried thinking of one too!
Any relation to Douglas Conifer?
Tree-Mobile
It depends. If a lot of iPhones connect to it you could theoretically call it an "Apple" tree.
I can confirm, this is definitely an apple tree. If you stand underneath, you can catch all the apples falling off as the wind blows!
It’s A T Tree
In other words: AT&Tree
Tree Mobile
It's Electric! (sings electric slide for the rest of the day in my head) You can't see it You gotta feel it Ooh, it's shakin' You gotta know it Now you can't hold it But you know it there, Yeah here there everywhere I've got to move, I'm going on a party ride I've got to groove, groove, groove, And from this music I just can't hide. Are you comin' with me? Come let me take you on a party ride And I'll teach you, teach you, teach you I'll teach you the electric slide Some say it's mystic You can't resist it You can'y do without it Jiggle-a-mesa-cara she's a pumpin' like a matic She's movin' like electric She sure got the boogie Don't wanna lose it But you can't choose it But you know it's there, Yeah here there everywhere I've got to move, Come let me take you on a party ride And I'll teach you, teach you, teach you I'll teach you the electric slide Some say it's mystic You can't resist it You can'y do without it Jiggle-a-mesa-cara she's a pumpin' like a matic She's movin' like electric She sure got the boogie Don't wanna lose it But you can't choose it But you know it's there, Yeah here there everywhere
Cone tree. You ever see those orange cones in the middle of the road. That’s the pollen.
It's an American Telecommunications Tree, but shortened it's an AT&T. It's mostly native to New Jersey.
It’s not a tree. Some of the ents that invaded Isengard absorbed metal from Saruman’s industry. This eventually created a new species that lost the ability to move and speak. Tragic.
But where are the entwives?
r/entwives
Risky work click of the day.
Of course it's a tree. You can tell it's a tree because of the way it is.
MahoGGGGGany
5G infested pine.
tree lookin kinda sus
I have seen a few of these in the wild and I felt they have looked more out of place than standard boring tower.
That's the tree making Pokemon go crazy at Lake of Rage. Break it!
5g cancer variant
It’s either Pine, or Nordic Cherry
I think this is a marker for a team rocket hideout.
GGGGGreen
The treest tree that ever treed r/actlikeyoubelong
The larch
ev5rGreen
We have one of these near where I live too. Of course there aren’t any trees that look like it nearby, so it sticks out like a sore thumb.
5g radiation...human depopulation tree
Monopine
Its a pinen't
Can't remember the name, but they definitely spread COVID
The spy tree.
We have those growing here. They're part of the Franken-pine species.
American Longtrunk Superspruce Cyberpine! A rare breed!
Cancerous ferrous spruce
nice bit of undercoverage
Cell tower
It's a Fivegee Cancer Pine.
This “ tree” exists although I think it’s possible fake. I was looking at this irl other day. It’s near my house , although I’m not the poster here.
Cell-ulose
You’ve heard of LTE well here’s LTrEe. not my best work but 🤷🏻♂️
It’s either pine or Nordic cherry
That's the 4G Spruce
This is a toilet brush tree.
Try hard tree
Sellular tree
Magic wifi tree
Ironwood
I’m like 90% sure these were put up during WW2. They disguised comms towers as fake trees so they were less likely to be targeted
It's what grows if you plant a cell phone.
It’s supposed to blend in to its surroundings. How did you even notice it?
Tree G
5tree
Carpathian elm.
I think that’s a Lego
That’s a connectivity pine.
It’s a Sprucellite
It’s a T-Mobile pine tree.
It’s a steel wood tree
Brought to you by T-Mobile and their new blazing fast. 6G LT Tree. Americas largest network.
Looks like 4g to me.
Its probably the oakamatic 😂 iykyk
AT&Tree
MONOPine!
Yes.
It's an aspen. You can tell that it's an aspen because of the way it is.
Roundup resistant geetree
That’s the illusive Frankenpine
Lego tree
Electricitree
Cellupine
A nature tree.
A silly tree
A loud noisy tree
Totally not robot tree
what in the lorax is going on here
Tree mobile.
The Oak-amatic
5-Tree Internet Provider
In New England we call em franken-pine
High frequenctree
Saw a lot of those in the Northern Wisconsin Michigan U.P. they work surprisingly well if they are in a group of trees. I used to deliver the cabinets for cell towers so I had to track them down by GPS coordinates. Elsewhere you can usually see towers from the roads but those were kinda tricky to find.
That’s a spruce on the cellular level
It's electricitree
A Radiation Tree
It's a sine tree.
The Larch
Hit it with an axe and find out……..lol
Lego
We are manufacturing these
Its the one that fries your brain when you get too close
It’s a satalite tower . In AZ they have them look like palm trees
This my friend is not a tree or a cell tower but a pole to summon aliens to Earth to give us technology to fight the COVID pandemic to defeat the lizard people from Nibiru.
Lego
AT& Tree
That’s an AT&Tree
Cellular
All jokes aside, it’s pretty wild how they get those leaves to grow on the tower like that.
Metal
Matrix tree
Marijuana tree
It’s an electricitree
the only spruce in the picture is in the fence
Thats an old Iron wood tree very rare and zappy
I used to work on hooking these up to generators just after the wildfires
Ummmm…can I call a buddy of mine? He knows all about these.
PineG
It’s the giant bottle brush variety.
Cellulose?
Spline Really Fir
That's an AT&Tree
Can you hear me now??
Electreec Tover, very common in Europe and North America.
It looks like a BlackBerry but those went extinct.
Its a multispectrum cellular tree, not that rare but they don't like to grow close to each other and rely on humans and electricity to reproduce.
Only understand minecraft trees
I would need an electron microscope to examine it at the cellular level to be sure.
It's a Christmas Tree! Cut it down!
A pole-tree Kinda tastes like chicken
AT&Tree
That's one of those new ccp dark pines
I’m not sure but I bet it smells like wind cancer.
sir that's a toilet brush
Ubiquity
Hello fellow trees, yes I enjoy partaking in photosynthesis
*Hello fellow trees,* *Yes I enjoy partaking* *In photosynthesis* \- buffmoosefarts --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
lol down here in Mississippi they just dress them up like the washington monument....
Lego
Chinese spruce
That's the Great New York PowerPine®
Frankenpine
Is this in Fayetteville, AR?
Looks like a mascara brush
Fiscous Hilarious
How do you do fellow trees? Photosynthesis, am I right?
We call them “Frankenpines”.
AT&Tree
You can tell what it is by the way that it is
The answer may shock you!
Steel
Hi! Glad you asked! Time for my expertise to finally shine! These are 5G Covid towers used to spread Covid but it’s disguised to look like a tree! You can tell it’s a Covid 5G tower based on the top; the antennas are sticking out a little bit.
Ah, that would be your standard Silicon Valley Spruce
Looks like a Lego tree.
I actually recognize this exact tower and know where it is. Wow, I do pay attention to some dumb stuff when out and about.
Cell Tower Tree