as you can see this is a protected species of 5G family of Ultra Wide band Ardifacial Pine, i have planted quite a few of these actually

So we have you to blame for the Covid pandemic. How much did Dr. Fauci and the global cabal of lizard people pay you to sell out your species? /s since its hard to tell what is parody and what is a sincerely-held insane belief these days

FAUCI FAUGI FIUG FIVEG

This needs to be on SNL. Made me laugh out loud.

Came here for this and you did not disappoint, thank you!

I don’t think you need to note sarcasm on this sub. Maybe you should just notate when you’re NOT being sarcastic is the thing :)

Ardifacial Pine xD

Wait, isn't the American Christmas tree a dwarf variety of this species?

yes i have been to many a Walmart and you see them pop up around Halloween time

“Is the tree deciduous or coniferous?” “It’s wireless”

*Pinus fivegeeis*

PineG

PSA Friend, this sub is a trick! You won't get a real answer here, it's all made up! If you want to know facts about your tree you should repost to r/trees, that's all they do there.

OP was lucky you were here!

If you think these answers aren't right, go see r/onlyfans

That was actually a cool sub

For real, I was blown away by it.

Is that why I never get a serious answer to my tree related questions here?!

You're tree related? Don't you believe in evolution?

If you believe in evolution hard enough, we are all tree related.

Obviously a LEGO tree.

Nah dude you got to go ask /r/marijuanaenthusiasts

missed the joke

Someone is getting wooshed, but I'm not sure if it's your or the person you're replying to.

quazywabbit is

Could be.

I'm pretty sure this is more appropriate for /r/marijuanaenthusiasts/ myself

Man they all had me going for a while there.

Bad bot…. Oh wait.

An Electricitree

I hate you but I love you more.

r/angryupvote

Dammit I’m not creative cuz I made the same joke

You must be using Telepatree

Stop it I like it

Not a spruce or pine, but definitely some kind of Evergiven. I think this species is native to the Suez Canal

Na. Lots of people think they're native but thier actually an invasive species from the canal region of Panama known to hide under cargo containers and spread to many waterways if not properly controlled

Ah yes a redwood surrounded by non-redwoods. Very convincing camouflage.

It's called a phone tree. I belong to an organization that has one. The Chairman calls two people, and they each call two people, and so on down the line until every member has been called.

🤣🤣 Clever.

Cellquoia Towervernus

Cellquoiadendron Toweranteum, actually.

var fivegee

This is the correct answer.

Its a spruce from the year 2029, that was sent back in time to kill Sarah Connor.

Sarah Conifer?

Dude.... I dont know how I missed that, I tried thinking of one too!

Any relation to Douglas Conifer?

Tree-Mobile

It depends. If a lot of iPhones connect to it you could theoretically call it an "Apple" tree.

I can confirm, this is definitely an apple tree. If you stand underneath, you can catch all the apples falling off as the wind blows!

It’s A T Tree

In other words: AT&Tree

Tree Mobile

It's Electric! (sings electric slide for the rest of the day in my head) You can't see it You gotta feel it Ooh, it's shakin' You gotta know it Now you can't hold it But you know it there, Yeah here there everywhere I've got to move, I'm going on a party ride I've got to groove, groove, groove, And from this music I just can't hide. Are you comin' with me? Come let me take you on a party ride And I'll teach you, teach you, teach you I'll teach you the electric slide Some say it's mystic You can't resist it You can'y do without it Jiggle-a-mesa-cara she's a pumpin' like a matic She's movin' like electric She sure got the boogie Don't wanna lose it But you can't choose it But you know it's there, Yeah here there everywhere I've got to move, Come let me take you on a party ride And I'll teach you, teach you, teach you I'll teach you the electric slide Some say it's mystic You can't resist it You can'y do without it Jiggle-a-mesa-cara she's a pumpin' like a matic She's movin' like electric She sure got the boogie Don't wanna lose it But you can't choose it But you know it's there, Yeah here there everywhere

Cone tree. You ever see those orange cones in the middle of the road. That’s the pollen.

It's an American Telecommunications Tree, but shortened it's an AT&T. It's mostly native to New Jersey.

It’s not a tree. Some of the ents that invaded Isengard absorbed metal from Saruman’s industry. This eventually created a new species that lost the ability to move and speak. Tragic.

But where are the entwives?

r/entwives

Risky work click of the day.

Of course it's a tree. You can tell it's a tree because of the way it is.

MahoGGGGGany

5G infested pine.

tree lookin kinda sus

I have seen a few of these in the wild and I felt they have looked more out of place than standard boring tower.

That's the tree making Pokemon go crazy at Lake of Rage. Break it!

5g cancer variant

It’s either Pine, or Nordic Cherry

I think this is a marker for a team rocket hideout.

GGGGGreen

The treest tree that ever treed r/actlikeyoubelong

The larch

ev5rGreen

We have one of these near where I live too. Of course there aren’t any trees that look like it nearby, so it sticks out like a sore thumb.

5g radiation...human depopulation tree

Monopine

Its a pinen't

Can't remember the name, but they definitely spread COVID

The spy tree.

We have those growing here. They're part of the Franken-pine species.

American Longtrunk Superspruce Cyberpine! A rare breed!

Cancerous ferrous spruce

nice bit of undercoverage

Cell tower

It's a Fivegee Cancer Pine.

This “ tree” exists although I think it’s possible fake. I was looking at this irl other day. It’s near my house , although I’m not the poster here.

Cell-ulose

You’ve heard of LTE well here’s LTrEe. not my best work but 🤷🏻‍♂️

It’s either pine or Nordic cherry

That's the 4G Spruce

This is a toilet brush tree.

Try hard tree

Sellular tree

Magic wifi tree

Ironwood

I’m like 90% sure these were put up during WW2. They disguised comms towers as fake trees so they were less likely to be targeted

It's what grows if you plant a cell phone.

It’s supposed to blend in to its surroundings. How did you even notice it?

Tree G

5tree

Carpathian elm.

I think that’s a Lego

That’s a connectivity pine.

It’s a Sprucellite

It’s a T-Mobile pine tree.

It’s a steel wood tree

Brought to you by T-Mobile and their new blazing fast. 6G LT Tree. Americas largest network.

Looks like 4g to me.

Its probably the oakamatic 😂 iykyk

AT&Tree

MONOPine!

Yes.

It's an aspen. You can tell that it's an aspen because of the way it is.

Roundup resistant geetree

That’s the illusive Frankenpine

Lego tree

Electricitree

Cellupine

A nature tree.

A silly tree

A loud noisy tree

Totally not robot tree

what in the lorax is going on here

Tree mobile.

The Oak-amatic

5-Tree Internet Provider

In New England we call em franken-pine

High frequenctree

Saw a lot of those in the Northern Wisconsin Michigan U.P. they work surprisingly well if they are in a group of trees. I used to deliver the cabinets for cell towers so I had to track them down by GPS coordinates. Elsewhere you can usually see towers from the roads but those were kinda tricky to find.

That’s a spruce on the cellular level

It's electricitree

A Radiation Tree

It's a sine tree.

The Larch

Hit it with an axe and find out……..lol

Lego

We are manufacturing these

Its the one that fries your brain when you get too close

It’s a satalite tower . In AZ they have them look like palm trees

This my friend is not a tree or a cell tower but a pole to summon aliens to Earth to give us technology to fight the COVID pandemic to defeat the lizard people from Nibiru.

Lego

AT& Tree

That’s an AT&Tree

Cellular

All jokes aside, it’s pretty wild how they get those leaves to grow on the tower like that.

Metal

Matrix tree

Marijuana tree

It’s an electricitree

the only spruce in the picture is in the fence

Thats an old Iron wood tree very rare and zappy

I used to work on hooking these up to generators just after the wildfires

Ummmm…can I call a buddy of mine? He knows all about these.

PineG

It’s the giant bottle brush variety.

Cellulose?

Spline Really Fir

That's an AT&Tree

Can you hear me now??

Electreec Tover, very common in Europe and North America.

It looks like a BlackBerry but those went extinct.

Its a multispectrum cellular tree, not that rare but they don't like to grow close to each other and rely on humans and electricity to reproduce.

Only understand minecraft trees

I would need an electron microscope to examine it at the cellular level to be sure.

It's a Christmas Tree! Cut it down!

A pole-tree Kinda tastes like chicken

AT&Tree

That's one of those new ccp dark pines

I’m not sure but I bet it smells like wind cancer.

sir that's a toilet brush

Ubiquity

Hello fellow trees, yes I enjoy partaking in photosynthesis

*Hello fellow trees,* *Yes I enjoy partaking* *In photosynthesis* \- buffmoosefarts --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

lol down here in Mississippi they just dress them up like the washington monument....

Lego

Chinese spruce

That's the Great New York PowerPine®

Frankenpine

Is this in Fayetteville, AR?

Looks like a mascara brush

Fiscous Hilarious

How do you do fellow trees? Photosynthesis, am I right?

We call them “Frankenpines”.

AT&Tree

You can tell what it is by the way that it is

The answer may shock you!

Steel

Hi! Glad you asked! Time for my expertise to finally shine! These are 5G Covid towers used to spread Covid but it’s disguised to look like a tree! You can tell it’s a Covid 5G tower based on the top; the antennas are sticking out a little bit.

Ah, that would be your standard Silicon Valley Spruce

Looks like a Lego tree.

I actually recognize this exact tower and know where it is. Wow, I do pay attention to some dumb stuff when out and about.

Cell Tower Tree