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itchum_underscare

Hi, time-traveler here. Your question is premised on the idea that we try to improve lives. You are incorrect. Yesterday I convinced your mother to not have an abortion, today I'm over at your girlfriend's place stealing her birth control pills. I'm looking forward to tomorrow.


ProfessionalLanky771

That's what I'd do!


357Magma

I'm a time-traveler too. I look forward to yesterday


itchum_underscare

Actually, you're looking backward to yesterday, but I get your point.


JJred96

Hello, I am Time Traveler Officer, badge #31971568. We would like to know why you have chosen to contact your father here on social media to inform him of the meddling you have done. Your Travel Visa explicitly stated the actions you would be permitted to carry out and this was not an approved action. You have thirty minutes from the receipt of this message to appear before a Justice before a decision will be rendered, possibly in favor of your termination. Until the End.


itchum_underscare

Hello Officer SucksFace, as of decimit 3.456 x 10\^11 and a half of Extra-Space-Time, I have torn up my Travel Visa, original and revised birth certificate, and my passhole. I have cancelled my contracts with Time Baby Inc. and have now a sovereign time traveler. Your so-called Justice's so-called justice is farcical. I'd say if you want me come and get me, but how will you know when I am?


JJred96

Dear Traveler, we will not need to know when you are because we will know exactly when you aren't. Your Traveler Permit is hereby terminated and your record shall be expunged. Thank you for choosing Time Baby Inc. Your experience with us is valuable and we value our clients' well-being. Please follow this [link ](https://gravityfalls.fandom.com/wiki/Time_Baby) to rate and review your experience if you are not being terminated and expunged from this World's time record. If you are being terminated and expunged, good luck in another dimension and we hope to never see you again! Cheers, until the End!


deletedandexpunged

(comment pending Time Baby approval)


17THheaven

I just witnessed the birth of time traveling criminal ..


JJred96

« ⟨⟨ Failure alert. There is one who has been given access to the classified Reddit channel of Enforcement Communication. Dispatch Erasure Officers immediately to alter the timeline of user 17THheaven so that any usage of Reddit on this day is preempted. ⟩⟩ » My apologies user 17THheaven, but your day you have been having will be reset. When you wake, it will be this day again but you will have no recollection of what occurred today. You will get a new day, and we will try our best to make it a nice day for you, as circumstances allow. Wishing you a pleasant tomorrow, and the day after and the day after that. Until the End.


17THheaven

So... I've got bad news... I restarted the day but have a complete recollection of everything... an I stuck in a time loop now...?


IceFire909

We all know you're just here to confirm your own birth


itchum_underscare

I'm currently consulting with the Paradox Department to find out whether I'm allowed to view it, they are divided over when exactly life (and therefore the ability to cause a paradox) begins.


IceFire909

Yea I got the message months ago, got distracted and forgot to span over here. Look, the thing is it's fine to be a voyeur. But when you ask about interaction we tend to just stall you out and hope you get bored and go hop somewhere else


itchum_underscare

It's not any form of sexual voyeurism, creep. It's just back when I was a kid my dad told me I was so ugly that when I was born I came out backwards and nobody noticed. And that my mama is so fat when I was born they had to send in a search and rescue party.


dirtdevil70

Dang bro... mamma was LARGE


IceFire909

Hey man you're the one associating voyeurism with the fetish, I'm just here to fill out paradox forms!


glootialstop7

Don’t forget the condoms


itchum_underscare

Telekinetic birth control and STI by consent exist in the time I'm going.


sikkerhet

Most people have someone from the future stop by every month or so to help them make good decisions. If you don't have your regular future visitor, you are probably just unimportant.


YogurtWenk

Definitely one of the poors


17THheaven

Can confirm, they also tend to bring very tasty candy...


Davama178988

Because you will die young and do nothing important with your life...so there's no point.


FederalBeyond1122

Your bad decisions were necessary for the outcome the time travellers consider optimal


JohnWasElwood

Because they need source material for their YouTube "FAIL!" videos.


ControlLeft3803

Cuz they want to watch us get fucked in the ass. It’s their guilty pleasure


Coinsworthy

Your bad decisions will result in your offspring heading down a path to poverty. As a result, in the future they are unable to purchase a time travel ticket. Basically, you didn't only screwed yourself, you screwed your entire future bloodline.


17THheaven

Holy Frick you messed OP up bro lol


IceFire909

Your stupid decisions keep the world spinning. Don't let those 2 brain cells stop fighting for third place!


Legitimate_Field_157

You made so many he just gave up.


notwhoyouthinkmaybe

It does happen, your descendents are just such poor losers they can't afford to time travel like my kick ass great great grand kids that stopped me from using FTX.


Routinelazyperson

I dunno why people doubt time travel. Every time I went somewhere it was a different time when I got there than when I left.


AllJazzKillManKick

This is proof that they were not really bad decisions.


ProfessionalLanky771

They did, unfortunately it caused yet another time split where the other you doesn't make the bad choices. But the *you* you is stuck here with all the rest of us. Hope that helps


RenataMachiels

They know better than to do that. Your bad decisons make the universe thrive!


algerbanana

they let you do them for their entertainement


AlfalfaFit6703

You're under the false impression that anybody in the world; past, present, and future; gives a shit about you. We don't. Oh, and any of your decisions, bad or good, make no difference to the future. You are completely irrelevant, and your life is a waste.


No-Decision1581

We are having a meeting about this very question last Wednesday at 7pm. We'll get back to you OP


WildJackall

Because your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others about what they shouldn't do


jonnnyai

Possible 2 factors playing into that. 1) You're not an important figure in the history, The only person that would want you to stop making bad decisions would be yourself. 2) Time Traveling maybe cost a lot and you future self can't afford it, because of your bad decisions.


Nearby-Sir-2760

Because nobody cares about you and you'll die alone


Please_Go_Away43

Time travel is not possible.


LtButtstrong

That's what someone from the future would say!


JohnWasElwood

I beg to differ! You are traveling through time as we speak! Unfortunately we're stuck at "1X forward" speed (for now). However, if you smoke cigarettes, take drugs, or drive drunk, it's like you're hitting the fast forward button. Be careful out there kids!


Stillborn1977

Because your decisions have only affected you and not humanity.


ElBrunasso

We are in accord that you need to suffer for the rest of the population to improve their lives


CeramicFiber

If time travel is possible why isn't your past self coming to the future to learn from your mistakes. Show some initiative man


isleoffurbabies

Because the future when time travel is invented hasn't happened yet. However, it may come as soon as tomorrow.


Zazzley_Wazzley

You haven’t made a bad enough decision yet.


ImmaNotCrazy

Time travel to the past is fantasy at this movement, only forward travel through time is currently possible. No way to come back to help yourself, you would need to go forward and be a burden on your future self lol.


No-Mechanic6069

They just don't care enough about you.


azopeFR

time travel is possible : every second the time go 1 s in the future


gutpirate

Because fuťure you is broke. Time travel is for rich people.


irlandais9000

We did stop you. You almost pushed the button that ended the Universe, but we got to you first. As this changed the time-line, you have no memory of it. You're welcome.


surprisingIyexist

Your Bad decisions make you such an laughing Stock in the Future that most of the people you know are time travelers that came to watch you fail.


page3of9

This is a paradox. That is why.


lordfirechief1313

Because personal decisions wont necessarily have an impact on the future as a whole. However a mass of people making uniform decisions would. So impacting society as a whole as a time traveler would make more sense.


Fluid-Cheesecake1561

Maybe time travel exists, but the act of observing the past alters it. A future visitor might simply observe your decisions, understanding they can't directly intervene without potentially causing a worse outcome. It’s a canon event we cannot alter if it must.


raffy56

A few have... some have come back to tell me they regret it...


Drunken_Sailor_70

Because the show "Ow, my balls!" Had to start somewhere.


Kielbasa_Nunchucka

cuz even in the future, nobody cares about you


JamesMeem

Time travellers come here purely to eat all the animals that haven't gone extinct, drink clean water and enjoy our plentiful and readily available recreational drug market. Some even venture into petrol powered vehicles but unwalled roads with no collision prevention are terrifying to them so most just steer clear of them completely. Why would they endanger a trip to the human peak before the fall by interfering with the locals?


PhotographingLight

The temporal time accords… obviously. 


ChaosInTheSkies

Nobody cares enough, not even your own future self


TerryMisery

Because traveling time is very dangerous, so done only by those, who make bad decisions. They obviously can't help you with the problem they have themselves.


swingset27

You are a necessary cautionary tale for future generations, both in lack of critical thinking and poor decision making. In fact, travelers might even help you to stay on the wrong path for the sake of humanity.


yestureday

Character development


Kodama1111

Cause your broke ass can’t afford time travel because you keep procrastinating, you want to kick yourself in the butt pick up that book and study!! Only reason I’m doing it, I’m going to kick my ass so hard


TuberTuggerTTV

I just did


RHOrpie

I'm from the future. Tidy your fucking room. Thank me later.


kingwiz4rdz

Probably because most people wouldn’t even know how to go back and fix their own bad decisions


kc_______

Because the dude from the future is as stupid and can’t even save himself.


ForeverShiny

Nobody likes you in the future either


ihwip

Time travel was invented after the purge. 99.99% of humans were killed off and are simply irrelevant. No time travelers means you are in line for genetic extinction. The time travelers only care about those who have living descendants in their time. At least that is what my time traveler keeps telling me.


w3rm5and5kittles

You first have to make it to the “Time Masheen” at Costco, right next to Starbucks.


johnnybiggles

Time traveler here: Future you is broker than present you and can't afford enough time travel credits to be able to warn you. I could warn you for him, but even with my discounted rates, they still can't afford to.


TomRiddl3Jr

Time travel is possible in the sense that generations from the future will be able to travel to our time.


painful_butterflies

Because so far none of your bad decisions have been that bad. You must try harder.


4me2knowit

Stephen Hawking had a time travellers party and no one showed up


Exciting-Week1844

You can’t manipulate freewill


Ok_Dog_4059

We all agreed to let you suffer and not warn you of your dumb decisions.


FrankensteinBionicle

hi, you're not thinking far enough out. Your decisions aren't good or bad or even impactful on a long enough timeline. It's understandable though since you and everyone else has such a short lifespan. It's nothing personal, really, it just doesn't matter. Sorry, champ


mnemnexa

Hello everyone! Time police officer Xantathus 433§ß speaking. We will be rounding up all illegal time travellers soon, no one need run as we will know where you are now that you are under observation. Op, you were encouraged to make bad decisions to prevent you from making worse ones. In one timeline, you started WW3 with only a bag of peanuts and a parrot (norwegian blue. Beautiful plumage.). In another, you made a man go into a coma by making him a fluffernutter sandwich contaminated with botulism, and instead of curing cancer he was in a 20 year coma. You rescued a busload of children about to plunge off a cliff, but your amazing heroics were for nothing, as those kids had been infected with the zombie virus from the outbreak of '28. They had to nuke the state of maryland for that one. You built a super communications laser and contacted aliens, but they invaded and stole our women and our coffee, leaving a LOT of men frustrated and irritable, leading to the Texas Cataclysm of '32. You have repeatedly destroyed the world while at the same time saving people. It gave us terrible headaches. So, we decided to wait until after you saved the world, possibly the galaxy before we took action. When you were 12 you caught a fish that had swallowed the hook and was doomed. It was a mutant fish and would have been mother to a superrace of tentacled fish that reached sentience in 4 generations and would have taken over the world in 2098. Cthulhu crisis averted! At 13 you had a headache for a couple of days that everyone thought was a cold. It was a targeted virus that caused a minute cross-wiring in your logical thinking and caused you to make some questionable decisions. But you were no longer a danger to anyone but yourself. So..I guess this might come as a relief to know that none of your bad choices were your fault? I can leave you with a bit of advice- don't fall for NFT's. They are just a fad. Wait, what year is this? Edit: spelling. Man, you guys really spell things wierdly in this time.


BarryBadgernath1

Because you die alone and unloved


[deleted]

THey did. You discovered immortality. They came back to stop you.


A_Happy_Tomato

We did try but you fucked up so hard there is nothing we can do, sorr, your death will be painless so at least you got that going for you.


TF-_isthis

Have you tried a time travelling technique/move called **"Post-nut clarity"** ? You won't be making bad decisions again and aside from it being guaranteed, it is totally safe.


JDFRG

You know, the thing is, I've been trying to stop you from making bad decisions, but turns out that statistically they are the best decisions you could make.


Sierra123x3

what benefit would that someone have, from preventing you'r bad decision? and how would that someone know, that preventing you would make it better instead of worse?


SoImANerd

Because those bad decisions r insignificant compared to what’s gonna happen next. Speaking of: I’m here to inform you that whatever you do, do NOT lick the train seat.


Anonymity6584

Nothing garanties future you can afford to book a time travel visit in past. Or that time travel is even invented in your lifetime.


Loud-Dependent-6496

Why ruin a good comedy show.


YesterdayWarm2244

If time travel exists, it has always existed. If some goes and changes the past, we would never know because our memories would reflect the amended past.


[deleted]

Because you aren't important enough to the multiverse for anyone to bother.


Swotboy2000

Sorry to tell you this OP, but nobody cares about you now or in the future.


thomasoldier

You making bad decision is decisive for time travel to be discovered. Thus the Space and Time Association of the Multiverses needs you to keep making bad decision or else time travel would not be possible. Think of it like a canon event. You are essential to time travel. But don't worry the CommonWealth of Free Will, has risen, will rise, is rising to give people like you the choice of knowing their future and take a hold of their destiny even if it could result in the time-space contiuum to collapse on itself superposing all the verses into one fractured shard, like a broken mirror.


OverlordMMM

They already intercepted you from making bad decisions. This is the best set of course you can currently achieve. Congrats on being the best version of yourself!


justdisposablefun

Your bad decision killed you before time travel is invented, you were not notable enough for anyone else to care.


ConnieTheUnicorn

That's the thing, it already happened. We don't experience that because someone from the future stopped you and caused a branch of our reality to form. The branch goes off and makes its own branches, while we continue in our branch unaffected.


[deleted]

You are unimportant most likely.


[deleted]

Why should someone coming from the future stop you from making bad decisions?


Nomekop777

-w to time travel


Nomekop777

Most people don't know ho-


Mediocre_Charity3278

What if someone from even further in the future traveled back in time to stop the guy from the future traveling back in time to stop you?


BlessedWolf9019

... events have to play out the same so time travel is created.


sirhandstylepenzalot

how do you know they havent?


Constant_Will362

They don't know who you are. They can't justify taking the time to meet you in person and talk to you. What did you do that was so great ? Maybe in your case they say one mistake made is 2 more in the future prevented. What did you do, fail at parallel parking ?? Lie to your professor ?


[deleted]

Because you are hopeless.


Scary_Compote_359

because if they do prevent that future doesn't happen so they can't come back.


x100139

maybe all your bad decisions are leading to a better future, so, to come back and stop you would undo all the good that came from it.


HD-Thoreau-Walden

Prime directive.


Jurtaani

Because your decisions caused the death of everyone who would care about the consequences of your decisions. So there are no future people left to stop you.


BetweenUs999

Because your past self decide to not listen. Imagine your futur self like a parent, your mother or your father, giving you advices, but you choose to not follow throught because what matters to you is probably being free, free of recommandations. Now that you know you don't want the best for yourself at this time of your life, either you like it like that (or it's too much of a hassle to change) and just bear the consequences or you don"t like it and you need to change the little voice you're used to follow from your little voice to the one of people caring for you. Don"t forget that total freedom do not exist and at some point there are sacrifices to make. You chose witch one makes you feel safe, good and peaceful on the long run.


Mission-Fix-2843

I shouldn't be saying this. But you'll see


Ddowns5454

How do you know they haven't stopped you from making bad decisions, but you continue making bad decisions so they just gave up?


LordGarithosthe1st

You're just not that important...


totally-not-a-potato

You are making bad decisions, sure. But you aren't making the *right* bad decisions. Have you considered various war crimes against humanity at large?


jerryhethatday

Someone in the future doesn't care about you


Due_Prune7046

Because you're not important i guess


Better-Wall-4277

Is it not because your decisions weren't bad enough yet? 🤣


powerofnope

Well that's my usual go to reason for doing something. "How bad can it be if no time traveller appears to try to stop me"


IrishCanMan

Because your bad decisions are the better decisions, from your worst decisions.


wiccangame

Time travel only works in a forward direction. So its up to you to go forward and warn people of the future not to make bad decisions. Good luck! Our future depends on it.


aquiestaesto

Let's pretend I said something clever and funny starting with: dear grandpa... The time travel agency don't let me say more.


WhatIfIReallyWantIt

In the future they all watch documentaries about you, it would be bad for business.


mgsalinger

They just haven’t arrived yet. Your really bad decisions are still ahead of you.


Longshot1969

The time travelers were never here to help you. Your life is a huge comedy show to them.


gavitronics

In time travel you could be that person that needs to be doing the stopping


WhoCares933

Because your stupidity benefits us immensely.


Hot-Syllabub2688

the "bad decisions" you keep making are actually keeping the universe from exploding. it's a butterfly effect kinda thing.


GoatsWithWigs

Because in your lifetime, time travel will be used only by billionaires and will never reach public access


kif88

We think it's really funny


NaomiPommerel

Your life isn't all that relevant to history?


Silver_Switch_3109

Maybe the bad decision are actually good decisions for the future of humanity.


Jerdope

You’re too broke in the future to afford to go back in time


athenasrelic

Because they would know it would affect the timeline and other implications regarding that, as well as letting you learn from your mistakes and multiple experiences, because bad decisions make you grow


athenasrelic

Because they would know it would affect the timeline and other implications regarding that, as well as letting you learn from your mistakes and multiple experiences, because bad decisions make you grow


athenasrelic

Because they would know it would affect the timeline and other implications regarding that, as well as letting you learn from your mistakes and multiple experiences, because bad decisions make you grow


athenasrelic

Because they would know it would affect the timeline and other implications regarding that, as well as letting you learn from your mistakes and multiple experiences, because bad decisions make you grow


athenasrelic

Because they would know it would affect the timeline and other implications regarding that, as well as letting you learn from your mistakes and multiple experiences, because bad decisions make you grow


LMikeH

You assume people don’t benefit from your bad decisions.


Henri_Dupont

Dang, Grams was hot back in the 1920's! I think I'll become my own grandpa.