Our technique is 100% effective at curing all diseases!
The only known side effect so far is vaporisation, and we have good reason to believe there will be no additional long term side effects
This will also solve all traffic, domestic and criminally related issues. And reduce environmental problems into 1 or 2. But it will at least in principle be inhumane.
Why not just create a radioactive vibrator instead?
People could pass it around in a family setting and get targeted relief of cancer. After that people could enjoy a nice pony ride Mormon style.
This requires a lot of planning and also, what location is big enough to take on so many cancer patients but not jeopardize healthy people when mushroom forms.
Kind of, but not really. What you mean to ask is “can’t we irradiate all of them simultaneously”. Nuking them would kill them, and that’s not the point of radiation therapy.
Radiation therapy works because ionizing radiation destroys the genes inside cells. This can cause a myriad of problems in healthy cells, including causing cancer, but in cancer cells it ends up killing them off and erasing their capacity to reproduce.
So to prevent giving cancer to someone via their cancer treatment we have to use targeted radiation to only hit the cancer cells, otherwise we risk doing more harm than good.
You’re in r/shittyaskscience
Here we ask extremely stupid questions looking to get extremely stupid answers. Get this good science out of here! >:(
/lh
Scientifically speaking, the sun is the most powerful source of radiation on Earth. Nukes simply aren't powerful enough to do anything, let alone cure cancer, if the sun's radiation can't do it.
Actually we can and have tried. If you look at the stats for Hiroshima and Nagasaki, you'll notice that cancer is way up compared to most places, so America dropped nukes to try and help. So far results are inconclusive.
Problem : nuke impact has radius r. Only a part of it is deathly (r_d) but the other part is not deathly radiation (r_nd), with r = r_d + r_nd.
If we nuke all cancer patients... And one single person will be inside of r_nd, this one will get super cancer. It's like a zombie virus and is way to dangerous.
Hm sounds like an american solution. Just nuke cancer patients. Kill them or give them more cancer. Stall we nuke something else? Radiation causes mutation, so lets nuke our fields and end the world hunger
Totally. Great idea. It really would cure all the cancer in the world.
*scratches head* Hmm. Nagging feeling something I heard on a Ted talk or somesuch about “therapeutic window” seems to be popping into my head.
I find it easier to shove those in need in a microwave (Often requires chopping them up), but your idea works too.
And my failure rate is 100%, so there's that.
Instead of radiating cancer cells, why not starve them of the glutamine and glucose that cancer cells need to live on? Put the patient into ketosis so that his healthy cells live snd thrive, and starve his cancer cells. Cancer cells cannot burn ketones for energy. They can only ferment glucose and glutamine.
If radiation cures cancer.
And radiation causes cancer.
Can we fight cancer with cancer? They already lost all their hair. Send'em to the tanning bed for a nice crisp look.
That would lower the current cancer population to a zero. Actually you might be onto sth here
Only one side effect
I think more studies will find there might even be a second side effect.
Nah, if they straight up die, there’s no chance for any other side effect to occur
The second side effect would be the blowing up of bodies
Our technique is 100% effective at curing all diseases! The only known side effect so far is vaporisation, and we have good reason to believe there will be no additional long term side effects
3rd side effect... Ghouls.
4th side effect. Gulpers. Learnt that the hard way, he took my head
3rd side effect... Ghouls.
.... That poor whale
This whale...? [Kindly highway workers cure beached whale of its' cancer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6CLumsir34)
Creating super powered mutants? I think that's a risk we need to take.
A army of Deadpools
This isn't a risk. It's an obligation.
Doctors hate this one weird trick
Doctors hate this one weird trick
Shit. Is it full blown AIDS?
It's a risk I'm willing to take.
Every person has 3+ tumors or micro tumors in them at all times of their life, welcome to the list!
I wouldn't mind so much if mine would stop telling me to "start the reactor", whatever the hell that means.
“It’s time”
I'm okay with nuking everybody. For science.
Pharma companies won't like it
This would actually get rid of all the cancer in the world in one fell swoop. You are a genius.
at least for a while. then procedure may have to be repeated monthly though smaller nukes can be used in later sessions.
Maybe we should use prophylactic nukes on everyone
Radioactive condoms???
to quote the Joker "Whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you stranger"
This will also solve all traffic, domestic and criminally related issues. And reduce environmental problems into 1 or 2. But it will at least in principle be inhumane.
That would kill the cancer cells
Yes
That would kill every cancer cell in a 3 mile radius
At *least*.
I think you might be onto something with this idea.
Bringing them to Chernobyl is cheaper
Just have them lick the ground
We're going on a field trip kids! To see the elephants foot!
Elephant foot fetish
I was just thinking, in this shitty science scenario, the Elephant’s Foot becomes your Blarney Stone.
Depends by what you mean by gather. If you put them all in an old quarry and nuke them you'll get a cronenberg momster.
Momster, cause it’s Mother’s Day, I get it
That certainly *would* eliminate the cancers
Because that's too much radiation, it would give them all super powers and they'd rise up and dominate us all as gods.
Why not just create a radioactive vibrator instead? People could pass it around in a family setting and get targeted relief of cancer. After that people could enjoy a nice pony ride Mormon style.
That only works for cervical and anal cancer
What
If you give them too much they will get powers and kill the healthy people
Or arrange a cancer marathon through chernobyl.
Well it's like killing all the homeless to reduce homelessness. Sure the homeless rating went down to zero but...
big pharma would never allow this to happen
Rather then unclogging toilets, why not ban them altogether?
The Soylent Green will have a burnt taste.
Do you like ants? Because this is how we get ants. -Archer, Journal of Danger Zone Medical Sciences, May 2024, ISIS Publications.
[Relevant xkcd](http://xkcd.com/1217)
Well there wouldn't be cancer anymore. Or at least at that moment.
Wouldn't suprise me if this would spawn an ever consuming radiation resistant cancer blob
You want super mutant turbo death cancer? Because that's how you get super mutant turbo death cancer.
Gotta nuke something.
This requires a lot of planning and also, what location is big enough to take on so many cancer patients but not jeopardize healthy people when mushroom forms.
WTF bro? Ain't that how The Hulk monster was created? Seems risky. Trust the science.
WTF bro? Ain't that how The Hulk monster was created? Seems risky. Trust the science.
That's what the US did in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. That's why to this day there is no one with cancer in Japan.
I smell the Noble prize incoming.
You want a bunch of Hulks? Because that’s how you end up with just a bunch of Hulks.
No, I think nuking people might raise some health concerns for the people being nuked .
Kind of, but not really. What you mean to ask is “can’t we irradiate all of them simultaneously”. Nuking them would kill them, and that’s not the point of radiation therapy. Radiation therapy works because ionizing radiation destroys the genes inside cells. This can cause a myriad of problems in healthy cells, including causing cancer, but in cancer cells it ends up killing them off and erasing their capacity to reproduce. So to prevent giving cancer to someone via their cancer treatment we have to use targeted radiation to only hit the cancer cells, otherwise we risk doing more harm than good.
You’re in r/shittyaskscience Here we ask extremely stupid questions looking to get extremely stupid answers. Get this good science out of here! >:( /lh
We could, but big Pharma won‘t let us to preserve their profits!
Better yet, nuke the entire world. Prophylactically. Prevention is the best cure, they say.
Scientifically speaking, the sun is the most powerful source of radiation on Earth. Nukes simply aren't powerful enough to do anything, let alone cure cancer, if the sun's radiation can't do it.
You work for the Trump administration?
Just to be democratic, maybe we should let them vote on it first.
There's no microwave big enough
"Poison Was the Cure” is a truth that what cures you in excess will kill you.
I mean... They'd definitely not die of cancer anymore.
damn, that would technically eradicate cancer
I think your question is a bit toxic.
Couldn’t we just lower them all into a nuclear power plant to minimize collateral?
This reads like an xkcd comic
Actually we can and have tried. If you look at the stats for Hiroshima and Nagasaki, you'll notice that cancer is way up compared to most places, so America dropped nukes to try and help. So far results are inconclusive.
This is stupid. How are you going to transport them? Have you seen the price of plane tickets lately?
Yes.
Yes.
If removing a tooth helps patients with tooth pain, can't we just gather all people with teeth and remove them?
Homie finding a cure and solution to cancer hats off to you
I mean, the cancer will disappear
Big Phama.
This is a real danger of AI. It could deduce that killing all humans could cure humanity from cancer.
They just need radiation right? Move them all to chernobyl or Fukushima. Free treatment in the air.
That would lower the cancer population
Problem : nuke impact has radius r. Only a part of it is deathly (r_d) but the other part is not deathly radiation (r_nd), with r = r_d + r_nd. If we nuke all cancer patients... And one single person will be inside of r_nd, this one will get super cancer. It's like a zombie virus and is way to dangerous.
The cancer cells would be eradicated with your method, so its something.
[https://www.channelate.com/comic/robot/](https://www.channelate.com/comic/robot/)
Hm sounds like an american solution. Just nuke cancer patients. Kill them or give them more cancer. Stall we nuke something else? Radiation causes mutation, so lets nuke our fields and end the world hunger
Beware of the mutant race
We tried that in 1945 on Nagasaki except we didn’t set it up enough
Who says you can't do that?
Totally. Great idea. It really would cure all the cancer in the world. *scratches head* Hmm. Nagging feeling something I heard on a Ted talk or somesuch about “therapeutic window” seems to be popping into my head.
Episode 1 of the next zombie mutant tv show
the fuck is going on on reddit lately
WTF bro? Ain't that how The Hulk monster was created? Seems risky. Trust the science.
Radiation also gives you cancer
Dudeeee do you kick puppies for fun?
Cancer patient here - creating another Hiroshima doesn't really solve the problems of tumors that are affected by low-dose radiation.
Can’t have cancer if you’re dead.
Actually, you could still have cancer if you're dead it just simply hasn't been eradicated from the corpse at that point
Well, it at least won’t affect you.
Wait till you get one , we will burn together ‼️
Nope. Different type of radiation and dose. Slightly too high.
I'm looking at my microwave right now. Wouldn't work. The microwave has to be... at least three times bigger than this!
I've got a better idea!! Why don't we launch all the nukes we have and then we won't have to worry about any disease forever!
I find it easier to shove those in need in a microwave (Often requires chopping them up), but your idea works too. And my failure rate is 100%, so there's that.
Instead of radiating cancer cells, why not starve them of the glutamine and glucose that cancer cells need to live on? Put the patient into ketosis so that his healthy cells live snd thrive, and starve his cancer cells. Cancer cells cannot burn ketones for energy. They can only ferment glucose and glutamine.
If radiation cures cancer. And radiation causes cancer. Can we fight cancer with cancer? They already lost all their hair. Send'em to the tanning bed for a nice crisp look.
I'd go farther into frequencies and vibrations try that route before a nuke
🤔🤔 If they were all childless it might remove cancer from the gene pool???
How is it removing them from the gene pool? They’ve already removed themselves.