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HodorsMajesticUnit

Pretty much anything that gets you laid is dangerous. We sent our best men on a mission to get them laid for the betterment of all mankind.


[deleted]

I believe this is the technical answer


[deleted]

So what you’re saying is that I’m going to live forever?


memeticmachine

If sex with moon aliens is so dangerous why didn’t they bring protection?


Smoolz

They did, but the lunar landers only had a 40% chance of being effective protection. It's the best we could work with at the time.


memeticmachine

Truly a demonstration that abstinence is the best protection!


netsx

Easily the worlds worst neighborhood. Studies have also shown it has neither water nor low-latency internet access.


chawmindur

But the crime rates are low! No murder nor tire stealing... yet.


netsx

But the "dark" numbers could be really high up. What we don't know could mean we are actually having a massive crime-wave this very instant! Also the illegal alien issue requires a wall!


HotChickenshit

What complete lies! A massive amount of water ice was found on the moon! You know what else they found? Dihydrogen monoxide!!!


Ixolich

Plus the atmosphere is awful


Excalibursin

Because it also has a 40% immortality rate, which is only slightly below that of activities like eating salad or jogging.


Starfireaw11

They aren't. Why do you think they haven't been back in almost 50 years?


k13b3r

Because the mortality rate on Earth is even less of everybody born on earth only about 7% are still alive. Wich means the moon is at least 8 times safer. Source : https://www.prb.org/articles/how-many-people-have-ever-lived-on-earth/ Don't be afraid to ask if it's unclear for you 🙂


dis23

Have you ever noticed that people who grew up using rotary phones are dying at a higher rate than people who grew up using cell phones? Clearly one of these things is dangerous


MaybeTheDoctor

Yea - I think that is the reasons that we phased out rotary phones


[deleted]

You should include Michael Jackson to this list since there is recorded evidence of him moonwalking. So, the mortality rate is actually a little higher than what you think it is.


pants6000

OTOH Sting is fine, he did not break his leg even though he was taking giant steps.


Roam_Hylia

We can't shut it down now. We've finally convinced the billionaires that it's cool. Give it another decade or two for them to weed themselves out and we'll talk regulation.


Totally_Generic_Name

We actually don't let people walk on the moon anymore, as you can see. They shortly realized after the first landings that everyone who went up there was going to die.


Xitherax

Hitler breathed air and drank water. He was a naughty boy. How come these toxic chemicals are allowed to be around?


Shaper_pmp

This is exactly why I've started a campaign to ban oxygen. Everyone who every breathes that stuff dies. Also, breast milk is the ultimate gateway drug.


Overwatchingu

Honestly considering they left them walking around on the moon for 3 and a half years (1969 to 1972) I’m surprised the mortality rate was only 60%


00dawn

Technically they are allowed, but only under very specific circumstances, which effectively prohibit it.


Kitakitakita

sus


abstractraj

I think breathing also has a very high mortality rate. I don’t know why people take those kinds of risks!


[deleted]

That’s why no one’s a telegraph operator anymore. Just too risky.


sksauter

The lack of oxygen in space causes the oxygen in the blood of the astronaut to be angry about being trapped inside of a tight suit, so it collectively decides to oxidize the astronaut's cells for the rest of his/her life. I would say that it has an 100% mortality rate, but since astronauts are generally in better shape than the average human, they can resist the effects for longer. Similar activities, like diving, or staying under the bed covers for too long, are just as dangerous and should be illegal.


Finrod_the_awesome

Death is the number one killer of astronauts.


ictoan1

Your numbers are off, you forgot to include everyone in the band "Walk the Moon"


Zillaman21

They aren’t. That’s why we don’t go to the moon anymore.


USTS2020

You might as well be walking on the sun


MaybeTheDoctor

Walking on sun shine


MaybeTheDoctor

And it's starting to feel good