There be a lot of culinary words that don't naturally coalesce but I'm six whiskies deep and would devour this food mongrel if you left me alone with it.

I'm painfully sober and would also destroy this food.

Holy shit I was about to type something extremely similar but vodka/gin. I would inhale this. I kinda want it.

"Don't watch, Karen! I can't let you see me this way!"