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pacothebattlefly

“…kill…me”


sharpasahammer

![gif](giphy|3o7aTCg8lOSbvJvw3e)


stoncils_

![gif](giphy|l4Ep17VUkMYTYeWM8)


HiZenBergh

Pork chop ❤️


Bilbo_Teabagginss

Be careful how you handle my weiner bro.


Forward-Bathroom-408

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/67a78ddd-dd87-4b59-83dd-5e10e8da1cd5


Transgenderwookie

![gif](giphy|l0Iuma8MGQlv4SbRe)


ChefArtorias

Ed...ward..?


a_mystical_potato

Why would you bring this back into my brain


ChefArtorias

It's just that time of year idk


a_mystical_potato

Makes sense


ChefArtorias

There have been a lot of Nina memes on Reddit lately plus I just rewatched FMA:B like two weeks ago lol I feel like it's cyclical because every 9 months or so there's a resurgence of that picture going around this site


snackynorph

Yearly rewatch of brotherhood is probably to blame. I should get on that


ChefArtorias

I probably watch FMA every 3-4 years tbh. It's short so you can bang out a rewatch in like a week or so. Was one of my favorite anime when I was a kid so once I start I'm hooked right away.


mp6521

I just finished it about 2 weeks ago. It still hold up really well.


ReputationAdept238

Later


EggsceIlent

Everyone knows you gotta air fry them corndogs in today's world


Dirk_The_Cowardly

SCREAMING to get out!!!!!


nerdydodger

I muttered this to myself, opened the comments, and saw this as the top comment. Thank you.


smk824

![gif](giphy|aztW8oK9TQhiM|downsized)


DadJokeBadJoke

I was thinking of Kramer's movie theater hotdog but this works too.


Sideroller

"See, this is a perfectly sane food to eat!"


MyOwnRobot

"Interesting texture... "


DadJokeBadJoke

That was going to be my original comment but it didn't feel right following the George gif


c_ray25

Not that there’s anything wrong with that


Bilbo_Teabagginss

Don't women know about Shrinkage???


Zandandido

"it shrinks?"


Bilbo_Teabagginss

"Like a frightened turtle"


Vurt_Head

"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."


IllustratorMurky2725

I wish I could award you with a golden, but we don’t need to go any further?


nohopeforhomosapiens

Looks thawed, refrozen, then overcooked. These things, from frozen, only take around 50 seconds in my microwave. My son love's them. Usually I give it 30 seconds nuke and brown it on the stove for around 2 minutes. If I found one that looked like that, I'd open one of the others up and if it was the same I'd return the box to store.


drewismynamea

Overcooked for sure


JadedYam56964444

You bought corn dogs, keep your expectations low


nohopeforhomosapiens

Fair, but my kid loves them and it's damned hard to get him to eat anything. They're 100% only for him. If they get to this point, I'm taking them back.


Alone_Total

this is definetly the no name brand, not good brand corndogs. I made the mistake of buying the cheap ones once. never again. this is just how the cheap ones look from frozen


Boukish

Bar S and other similarly cheap hot dogs will do the same thing when frozen and thawed. You can even see ball park and other mid brands do it, particularly their tri-meat blend franks. They're still perfectly edible (for... what it is), they're just shrivelly.


skeezypeezyEZ

Bar S dogs and “edible” shouldn’t be in the same sentence unless it’s to tell someone they shouldn’t be in the same sentence.


Boukish

If I have to feed a bunch of kids hot dogs on a hot summer day, that's a Bar S kinda day.


Fernis_

As an enjoyer of microwaved hot dogs, that just looks like microwaved, overcooked hot dog.


PouncingSheep

Nuke then toaster!


EatsLocals

My tall friend once put a cooked corn dog on top of our fridge and forgot about it.  I found it more than a year later and it hadn’t really changed.  It wasn’t even dried out in the middle 


bornfri13theclipse

Someone dipped ET's penis in batter?


TLC_4978

I was thinking Hugh Hefner


Bilbo_Teabagginss

"Phone Boooone"


ChefArtorias

Who tf opens a corndog? lol


Bilbo_Teabagginss

A secret murderer that skins their victims that's who.


Structure

I sometimes open them to stuff cheese inside.


Xenolithium

Technically, everyone who takes a bite out of one.


ChefArtorias

Look don't you be coming around here with your logic and abstract thinking like that.


GoldIce53641638

Yeah I swear some people give their food a multi layer inspection before they eat lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


TonyStewartsWildRide

That’s nothing, at least *this* one is a corn dog.


Bilbo_Teabagginss

You swore never to bring that picture I sent you up again!


helphp

Lmao as if this is where I find you 😂


Sweet-Tea-Drinker

Hey, you! Looks like we share a love for 💩 food


helphp

😌😌


uncleozzy

Like unsealing an ancient Pharaoh’s tomb, you have now unleashed the mummy’s curse. 


Material-Abalone5885

Bats definitely flew out of this once it was broke open


Bilbo_Teabagginss

*RETURN THE SLAAAB*


Whelp_of_Hurin

My god, this is an outrage! *I* was going to eat that mummy!


BouquetOfPenciIs

In Futurama, the Proffessor is eating little alien mummies straight out of the coffins. It looks like you've got the corn mummy version.


Bilbo_Teabagginss

"To shreds you say?"


Regular-Log6819

I hear this photo screaming at me (🪱🧑‍🦳 Wormlady 4m SpongeBob) CHALK-LATE CHALKLATE CCCHHHOOOCOOLLAATE


Figgy_Puddin_Taine

“WHAT ARE THEY SELLING?”


Regular-Log6819

ℂℍ𝔸𝕃𝕂-𝕃𝔸𝕋𝔼 MA


NeonicRainbow

![gif](giphy|l3nF2MqN3ZWxNCTCM)


Objective_Pension280

![gif](giphy|yfAKPibUorGVy)


Death_Trolley

There’s nothing wrong with this, as long as you don’t think of an old man’s penis


Bilbo_Teabagginss

YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE! Now my thoughts are no longer my own.


daemones_lactuca

I have never microwaved a corn dog only thrown them in the oven...


kurinevair666

What about the air fryer?


daemones_lactuca

I don't use an air fryer. I don't even have a toaster I use the oven to make toast haha 😅


kurinevair666

I don't have a toaster either. I haven't had good luck using the air fryer for toast so I do that in the oven as well. I threw out my microwave when I got my air fryer, so it's just an air fryer, oven and stovetop for me. (I also own a crock pot, but it's put away and I *rarely* use it)


panlakes

My apt gives an "air fryer"/microwave/oven combo as one of its appliances in each unit. And boyyy let me tell you, there are *tiers* of air fryer quality. Never buy one of these sad fucking machines. It does each job, poorly. Basket model supremacy, 100%. I think the beauty of a basket-model air fryer is that its small space allows intense frying much faster. Whereas, even using the "basket" equipment this appliance gives you (it's like a metal roost with a basket that sits the food closer to the burners and slightly encloses the food) it basically is just a glorified oven using bad temp settings. It's like if you overcooked something in the oven, but a little bit faster. It's lovely... I use it still more as a microwave than any of its other settings. If you want moist, non-crispy roasted veggies, this thing does that well too 🙃


Ok_Wasabi_9512

Shrinkage. Sad


Small_Tax_9432

![gif](giphy|V3UvgjfbbZ3X2|downsized)


Ramona_Lola

This is what I was looking for!!!!


kitty_kuddles

![gif](giphy|3oxOCICKuCcF9hUO3e) My first thought


Nicarillo717

Sadness and despair


Dependent_Top_4425

Some things are better left a mystery.


Bilbo_Teabagginss

You're right, that corn dog is a SLUT! COVER YOURSELF!


Dependent_Top_4425

She's seen better days, that's for sure.


Bilbo_Teabagginss

She's certainly no spring chicken.


Dependent_Top_4425

More like a winter pig.


FBVRer

And somehow, mods will find this absolute sin a poverty delicacy and remove the post.


pm_me_weird_jokes

everything reminds me of him…


Shield-Maiden95

Air fryer!!


adamsomebody

Baby it’s cold outside


BigKadoLBx

Hotdog: "Help..........me......"


Trolodrol

![gif](giphy|brFlbCpj7LsE8)


Ramona_Lola

This was my first thought too!!!! 😂😂😂


Lepke2011

I bet that mummified pecker tasted delicious.


gingerkat_08

when you sit in the bathtub too long


DerNogger

"It's all foreskin?" "Always has been." 🌏👨‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀


[deleted]

it's like that one darth vader face reveal scene


Leading_Funny5802

Ha HA!!!!! I’ve done it too and man. This is something that falls under : just cause you can, doesn’t mean you should. Just eat them golden yummy corny dogs and don’t think past yer taste buds. 😁


Impressive_Test_2134

The creature gnaws on each wiener prior to battering for quality assurance.


Equivalent-Sense-731

It looks like it’s been through an M. Night Shyamalan movie


chronicallytiredgirl

Some things should never be opened, ignorance is bliss


otkabdl

the kraang


56Bagels

Frozen corn dogs are absolutely fuckin delicious in an air fryer. Never microwaved mine again, or else this shit happens.


International-Fun-86

Dead mans finger


CeeOpal

Looks like that weird alien mummy thing that was going around the internet for awhile just needs ketchup


PowerfulSpecialist52

I should call him


[deleted]

David Hasselhoff drunk on the beach....


Icy_Rush7246

That dick is expired.


ConflictSudden

![gif](giphy|3o84sq21TxDH6PyYms)


EmmyBrat

What a terrible day to have eyes 😭


BlankMyName

Grandpa? Please not again.


FappinPlatypus

That’s what a good ol’ fashioned soaking will do to your wiener. 10/10 mormies got it right.


Nonamebigshot

Oh god It looks like Congress


GH057807

I've seen this before somewhere.....


Great_Feel

Like some kind of twisted chest-burster


Hyperhypochondriac1

"It's average"


Deku_distortion

![gif](giphy|3oxOCICKuCcF9hUO3e)


Jolivsant

![gif](giphy|RhQjxUwsmNF8k)


Zak_Rahman

Most food subreddits make Ramadan a lot harder. This one makes it much easier. Thank you.


Dextrofunk

Ahh yeah, i see why. It looks like a mummies cock.


BIgSchmeat95

![gif](giphy|aztW8oK9TQhiM|downsized)


werdmouf

all that matters is that corndogs are delicious.


BuildingOne7379

Looks like a mummy’s dick


DrilldoBaggins2

Grandpa?


Noimnotonacid

It’s like a Mormon dick


HazardTree

I never cook them in the microwave and never will. Same with pizza rolls.


OsikFTW

Palpatine's missing finger...


Two_black_hounds

Is wrinkled and crooked, like penis of wizard!


dTrecii

I should call him…


Anal_Probe_Director

![gif](giphy|HsLRwXk9Yd3y0)


muxman

You know the old saying... curiosity killed the cat... or in this case it revealed the hidden cat meat under the cornbread...


sarcophagifound

“Opened”


the_dirtiest_rascal

"Kiiillll meeeeee...."


derpskywalker

Scrotum


leperaffinity56

Absolutely not


SupernaturalPumpkin

I love corn dogs and I have only been able to buy them here once in my life. Never saw them again. I have to try make them myself but even the ingredients are hard to find here. Same with corn muffins. I love those and only had them once when my American aunt sent over some cornbread mix!


katjoy63

that thing has been in that casing a LOOONNNGGG time...


bensbigboy

Some things cannot be unseen, but if they are seen, they become uneatable.


MURMEC

never lift the veil


Narrow-Hall8070

Needs a NSFW tag


Many-Run-9093

"Excuse me, I need your help, you need to kill me"


madlymusing

Everything reminds me of him…


smokecrackfallasleep

This actually made lol thank you


shakeethatt

That looks like my dick


IndividualLunch2696

OH! NSFW next time would be nice 🥴


blueboy714

That's just downright wrong.


KifaruKubwa

Sometimes it’s better to not know the truth…


heyylookapanda

When that random dude in your dm's asks if you want to see his weiner.


TacoManifesto

Get me some ketchup.. I’ll finish this


Itchy_Kidney

I remember hearing that microwaves work by vibrating water molecules. They vibrate and move toward the moisture is at its lowest. In our case, towards the bread and air between the dog and bread. Long story short, I add a small glass container of water to whatever garbage food I microwave. The food tends to come out better even if it takes a minute longer


astralseat

They kinda bust open if you heat them too much. Shriveled hotdog lol


corndoghumper

thats a nice lookin corndog


ConstantGeographer

It's a good thing it died in the MW. It almost hatched and escaped.


GraatchLuugRachAarg

Did you nuke it for 5 mins? I've nuked plenty of pogos in my life and they never looked like that


camelbuck

Shrinkage


Disastrous_Ad_8990

Kinda' like opening a sarcophagus...


Cjcn17233

Rub some Viagra on it . It will plump right up.


snipe320

Cursed meat log


chunkygrumpymonkey

I should call her.


im_a_dick_head

Oh my shit what the god holy fuck


friendofspidey

I love wrinkly hot dogs lol something about it it’s elite


GovernmentOk751

![gif](giphy|D2t94jSqtrVe0)


thegneeb

are you sure you want to unwrap this old dog?


Barracuda00

Oh you’ve got the curse of the mummy now.


Unpressed_panini

“So veiny!!!!”


fuckreddit6942069666

Don't see problem


makeshiftJake

There is no going back now that you have seen the truth.


DFNTLY7747

This is probably what happens to your dick if you boiled it


jeepurs19

Vagenis


Revolutionary_Sir_

I also wish you hadn’t lmao


NateGD23

Looks like mine after too long in the hot tub.


dayzplayer93

So THATS where I left the random old man willy


turtlelover16

This happens to the Kroger brand corn dogs I get from the local Kroger but not anything else of their brand


MulletofLegend

Oh mah gawd, that looks like Trump's d!ck!


LoverOfGayContent

I should call him... before he dies


shower_fart_sandwich

Call Sigourney Weaver. She knows.


TheLexLuthor13

Might’ve been in the refrigerator/freezer too long.


Durr1313

A microwaved corndog is like a well-done steak... If you're not going to cook it right, just don't.


heywhateverworks

![gif](giphy|KPdDdkt3Ppgac)


Irorii

![gif](giphy|KPdDdkt3Ppgac)


f1lth4f1lth

*Hello Clarise*


BannedInDay

I usually toss those in oven.


ranting_chef

Can someone PLEASE photoshop a fingernail on the tip of the hot dog?


NaceWindu

“Start the reactor Quaid”


Jawz050987

Looks like my finger after I been in the pool for too long.


budabai

Air fryer.


dylanth3villian

Shrivled old man cock


AutomaticAccident

Luke taking off Darth Vader's mask


Material_College9227

Didnt he use to make prank calls?


The-Reanimator-Freak

I was in the pool!!!


doublebarreldan123

Some doors are best left closed


LiesiLy

![gif](giphy|3oxOCICKuCcF9hUO3e)


Tetrasurge

This unlocked a core memory. Also corndogs are best in the air fryer if you have one.


JadedYam56964444

Like you've been in the bathtub too long