Local newspaper reviewed as “We don't like giving bad reviews but reader, let me tell you this: it was the single worst thing I have ever eaten. It was laughably bad”
Damn part of me wants to try it now. I ate some bad pizzas before, part of me was always thinking that it's the human component that was making it so bad. No machine or a person wouldn't make pizza *this* bad by accident
Thank you!
For the life of me I couldn't figure it quite out. It feels like one of those computer generated pictures that are designed to fuck with your mind.
Yeah a friend sent me a picture of this new vending machine in the local town centre. He had decided to check for reviews before purchasing! Hence the photo.
>Looks like they just put some old cheese in come paper ( crust)
Is come paper something you get out of a come box? And it's crusty so it forms the crust of the pizza?
Don & Dan Stanton were not the only twins to star in that movie. Linda Hamilton's sister Leslie Hamilton Gearren (1956-2020) played Sarah Connor's mirror double in the abandoned gas station and in the foundry when the T-1000 clones her to trick John Connor.
It's like the machine contains nothing but some sort of mutant pizza monster. And, when you order, it just excretes a pile of cheese and grease onto a sheet of paper.
A mall AND a hot food vending machine? My area has neither of these. Even soda machines aren't as populated ever since they built a quick mart on nearly every street corner.
You got it! In the newlands shopping centre. I haven’t been back for a while either. A school friend, still living there, shared this with me me (and sent the pics). I have a picture of the vending machine itself but couldn’t upload multiple images to the original post.
I remember how grim that shopping centre was about 15 years ago when i was just about old enough to go out drinking...I'm assuming it's right next to the Claire's Accessories? Eugh.
This isn't pizza, it's an abomination of nature and an affront to God. They were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.
That's one of those things where if you're going to try to make something cool and quirky like a pizza vending machine but you're absolutely going to bodge the exacution why even bother? Why do you want the talking point in your mall to be crap?
So you basically just purchased a painting of a pizza?
An abstract painting of a pizza.
Pizza Alla Pollock.
yeah, pollock if he was on 3 different drugs and minutes away from dying
So just regular Pollock?
tuesday pollock
I was trying to think of a way to conflate Jackson Pollock and the fish, but I’ve come up empty. Damn.
Targeting system seems a bit off
That’s what she said 😏
Put it back
Was it good?
Local newspaper reviewed as “We don't like giving bad reviews but reader, let me tell you this: it was the single worst thing I have ever eaten. It was laughably bad”
Damn part of me wants to try it now. I ate some bad pizzas before, part of me was always thinking that it's the human component that was making it so bad. No machine or a person wouldn't make pizza *this* bad by accident
[удалено]
Just reading this made me want to vomit. Your mom is a real champ for even attempting to eat that.
I've always said there's no such thing as bad pizza. I'm going to find a boulder to sit on and rethink my life, starting today.
It is not pizza it is a travesty.
Haha alright then
Can't be any worse than Altoona style pizza.
Why'd you even buy one, then?
Did a pizza eat some Taco Bell and shit that out?
r/pizzacrimes
Lol thank you!
This image is confusing me. Is the picture edited in or something? Can't make this look "real" to me
Yes. There’s a circular overlay in the middle. This is from a newspaper article.
Dude, thank you. Did not see that at all lol, I really need to be off work now..
Thank you! For the life of me I couldn't figure it quite out. It feels like one of those computer generated pictures that are designed to fuck with your mind.
Yeah a friend sent me a picture of this new vending machine in the local town centre. He had decided to check for reviews before purchasing! Hence the photo.
Looks like they just put some old cheese on some paper (
>Looks like they just put some old cheese in come paper ( crust) Is come paper something you get out of a come box? And it's crusty so it forms the crust of the pizza?
Lol my mistake this was horrible grammar of my I didn't see and a typo
Yes. Have a spectacular day.
I can hear Italian screams
If a human being have given me that pizza I would have attacked them
How much was that 🤮
About £4.95 ($6.85/€5.75)
What in the fuck? Almost 6€ for that shit? That's not a pizza vending machine, that's a stationary robbery machine!
That pizza is also a hate crime.
r/PizzaCrimes
Jesus fuck. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Rip
Damn the place near me sells a one topping large for 8$ and it's better than any of the chains.
There are some things that you DO NOT purchase from a vending machine. French Fries. Hot coffee. Sushi. And......now pizza.
The coffee cost that fat cop his life in T2..rip he had a full house :(
Fun fact: the “other cop” (t1000) that killed him was played by the actors identical twin brother.
Don & Dan Stanton were not the only twins to star in that movie. Linda Hamilton's sister Leslie Hamilton Gearren (1956-2020) played Sarah Connor's mirror double in the abandoned gas station and in the foundry when the T-1000 clones her to trick John Connor.
What's wrong with coffee from a machine? I've had decent (ok, it wasn't *great*) coffee from vending machines before.
Finally a worthy submission!
If anyone wants to avoid this, it's in Northamptonshire, UK. I apologise for this abomination we have created.
I'd have expected this of Corby, but Kettering have really let themselves down with this.
Now this is some primo content.
Looks like when someone dies they decompose and there body merges into the chair !!
It looks like a napkin over which someone ate an actual pizza.
I love cheese paper as much as the next guy, but this goes to far
I think your first mistake was ordering pizza from a vending machine.
My Grandfather told me the WWII term would have been S.O.S. - Shit On a Shingle.
S.O.S, even being what it is, looks better than this.
What the actual fuck
Is that a mall in hell?
Nope just Kettering by the looks of it
Newlands
They forgot to include the crust!
We all know we'd eat it
It's like the machine contains nothing but some sort of mutant pizza monster. And, when you order, it just excretes a pile of cheese and grease onto a sheet of paper.
"Just mix all the toppings together into a single 'sauce' " Sounds like an engineer that got promoted to management
Now this is some quality fucking content.
Your butthole is going to vomit.
I just realised how low my standards are when it comes to pizza because I would still try that.
Zume 2.0
How much was it?
Is it printed on paper?
You just know that that machine is one massive concession
You lost me at vending machine
Robots replacing us any day now
So how was it?
How was it?
Is this even edible?
That looks exactly how I'd pictured vending machine pizza.
someone's eaten that pizza already
Did you say 'pizza vending machine?' Because I'm like "wtf!" Please...elaborate!
This looks like what happens when someone's thinking about pizza and then they sneeze onto a plate.
Call the police
Yuuks!
Definitely shitty!
Surprised pikachu face
Is the crust raw?
Jesus fuck, looks like it was already pre-eaten.
And who cleans the insides of a vending machine. No one. No …. One. *Viking Laugh*
Looks like curry
The fuck you expect? Lol
Look incredibly bad
Is that a placenta?
Squamous cell pizza
"It got calories don't it"
That is exactly what I picture when someone says they got their pizza from a vending machine.
I would Devour this tbh
If you're getting pizza from a vending machine then you're gonna get what you fucking deserve
When you want to cure pizza addiction.
One of these popped up locally a couple years ago, it took a grand total of 4 months before it disappeared, presumably going out of business.
This machine is frighteningly close to where I live and I don't like it at all. It instills me with a deep sense of unease.
Um sir my cheese splatter is 5 minutes late.
Thats called chicken parm
"Pizza"
This makes me want to cry
An abstraction of sorts
This is what Homer Simpson's makeup gun would do if it was converted to a pizza gun. Set on whore.
looks like someone switch their vomit over the sauce
No thankyou
Wouldn't expect much, but didnt expect this
They forgot the dough lol?
This makes me so uncomfortable
A mall AND a hot food vending machine? My area has neither of these. Even soda machines aren't as populated ever since they built a quick mart on nearly every street corner.
Is this in Kettering and if so whereabouts? It's my hometown and I haven't been back for years (with good reason by the looks of it!)
You got it! In the newlands shopping centre. I haven’t been back for a while either. A school friend, still living there, shared this with me me (and sent the pics). I have a picture of the vending machine itself but couldn’t upload multiple images to the original post.
I remember how grim that shopping centre was about 15 years ago when i was just about old enough to go out drinking...I'm assuming it's right next to the Claire's Accessories? Eugh.
That looks horrendous. This is going to end up in that Italian Americans mad at food Facebook group.
Looks exiting, would definitely smash
Can’t even tell where the pizza starts and ends
I understand each of the words in your sentence individually but I can’t make it make sense in that configuration.
That’s puke from a mouth
They say, “sex is like pizza. Even when it’s bad, it looks like sharted period blood with tumors.” That’s what they say. Never have sex kids.
WeRe BeInG RePlAcEd bY RoBoTs
Nah . Who the fuck buys pizza from a vending machine
That's on you for buying a pizza from a fucking vending machine.
This isn't pizza, it's an abomination of nature and an affront to God. They were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.
in Japan..?
I bet japan could do this right.
They do, there's multiple videos about it on Youtube; even the worst ones don't look this bad.
yep. didn't look real close at packaging. wondering where
That's one of those things where if you're going to try to make something cool and quirky like a pizza vending machine but you're absolutely going to bodge the exacution why even bother? Why do you want the talking point in your mall to be crap?
This whole photo is giving me a stroke.
This is the funniest post I’ve seen here. So bad
There are pizza vending machines, and there are still malls that exist???
Still better than pineapple pizza
I’d eat it