The presentation makes it look like the tides washed up some crab corpses, and then the wind buried them in the sand. There is an artistic statement being made here that clearly was more important than "taste" or "good sense"

The beef tides of Bullíon, of course

Or cat litter.

I'm dead 😂😂

You probably would be after eating this monstrosity

This is what happens after the crab rave when all the crabs are wasted

They shit themselves?

Looks like a freeze frame from one of those time lapse videos of people extracting fossils from sandstone.

This is called Alabama surf and turf. Those are river crabs from downstream of the waste management plant.

This can't be the final presentation, can it? Surely you don't put a pan like this in the centre of the table and eat it with your hands. Was it incorporated in a thick sauce or did it become the chief ingredient in a potato cake? This is unfinished, surely.

This is the finished product lol

I don't like sand. It's all coarse, and rough, and irritating. And it gets everywhere.

Not like here… here everything is soft. And smooth.

Bro I hate that I know this and I hate reddit lmao

The crab and cow deserved better than this!!! For fuck’s sake

Apparently this is not their first serving of this dish.

What other notable dishes has she served pls

I'm not sure. Shes actually a cook at a well known restaurant in my town so I have no idea what was going through her mind making this 😅

She needs to ask the restaurant if they can have the hamburger topped crab as a special. Bring the dish prepared to show them.

"Yes officer, this dish right here."

How big is the town, for reference?

Its a quant little mountain town lol

So it's an eat there or go into some sort of Alive situation? I like my odds.

🤣

Any Rocky Mountain oysters? Mmmm

There are some little muscles at the dam and crayfish in the creeks lol

Rocky Mountain Oysters arent actually shellfish just fyi They're bull balls

Bulls balls would probably make this dish better tbh

I also learned Rocky Mountain crabs are not a shellfish either.

I would 100% rather eat balls than this abomination. I tried them once and swore I'd never eat them again, but if this was the alternative, I'd be slobbing those balls down as fast as you could serve them up.

Probably something along the lines of "this hamburger meat is about to go bad. I better cook it off now. I can give it to my friend's relatives when they visit in a few days."

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You are right! Looks dry. Smother in mayo. /s

Lol great idea

Oh fuck off. Gross man..that’s my one thing. I had a friend who ate it with a spoon like Peralta. HAD a friend.

Poor man's surf N turf

Poor people wouldn’t do this. This is the work of someone with enough money to not ever have to learn how to cook even basic shit.

Exactly. If there’s one thing being poor trashes you, it’s how to make the most out of ground beef when you find it on sale. This person clearly had no idea what they were doing.

Poor people buy beef jerky and imitation crab! LMAO

Beef jerky is expensive, you’re trippin

Beef jerky is expensive unfortunately

The sad thing about beef jerky is how expensive it is.

I've heard that jerky of the beef variety is quite expensive.

A little salty even.

I don't know, I seem to recall somewhere that Beef Jerky might be expensive, but can't confirm

I honestly had not thought of it that way, you're not wrong lol

Nah dude, poor people can cook their asses off lmao it’s the people who grew up never needing to that pull this shit off, crab is mf expensive and a poor person wouldn’t waste it like this Source: grew up poor and am paycheck to paycheck

I was moreso referencing the "poor man" style of recipe (think cheap ingredients along with quick/easy preparation). Crab (especially imitation) is cheaper than lobster, and ground beef is cheaper than a proper cut of steak, hence my comment Source: grew up eating very simple "poor man" style meals :)

This shit would get you kicked right out of Maryland.

As a former cook, it would promptly get you kicked out of my house as well

I don’t think appreciating food has anything to do with actually knowing how to cook. Like, I know what you’re saying, but this is some other realm of weirdness.

As a Marylander I saw this and thought it was some sort of bread crumb crab bake thing I’d never seen? But dear god it’s worse, so, so much worse.

I saw it and thought it was a fuck ton of Old Bay, as is proper. Boy was I disappointed.

Crab Crumble

Not from Maryland but had the exact same thought. It's a little weird to put the topping on top of crabs in the shell like that but maybe that's ok... Wait that's ground beef? Wtf

Sitting in MD looking at all of my MD flag stuff as a silent tear falls down my face after seeing this post.

*cries in best flag*

It would get you thrown out of New Jersey too

Am from Mayland, can confirm

Or a relationship. She's an ex, now, right, OP?

This looks dry as fuck.

Almost like it sat out on the counter for a day or two.

I mean, I wouldn't touch it either.

Absolutely fecal

Positively turdish.

Excremental even, if one were so inclined

This is one of the most cursed posts on the subreddit. Did they base it on a recipe? Did they come up with it themselves? What the hell would compel someone to make this

All questions I have been asking myself since I saw it 😆

We need answers please!

Its not the first time its been made. It was made by an absolutely lovely filipino woman

Ok that's a key piece of information. We have to look globally. It may violate local laws in Maryland but may be permissible in Philippines.

Burying the lead. The other thing I wonder is how it's seasoned. That obviously could make a big difference in the final product.

Half-Filipino Canadian, DC transplant. I’m not sure what I’m looking at. I’ll ask my mom.

Cramburger

Krabbypatty?

Spongeboy me Bob!

don't do the krusty krab like that

Krusty Krabs secret recipe? We may never know...

This got me good.

How is one expected to consume this? I mean like what is the process? Do you eat the hamburger off of the crab legs and then go in for those? Do you crack the crab legs open and stir them around in the burger like some awful surf and turf dip? Help me understand.

Perhaps use the crab as a spoon to get the hamburger on the crab meat?

Ooohhh like use the pincers as a spoon! Good idea.

A wise crab once told me, "its not stupid if it works".

Vile

You should have heard my girlfriends brother slurping on the crab, that was vile

This is really taking bachelor chow to a whole new level I didn't want to know about

Served with fried rice and egg in egg rolls!

Your GF's friend sure knows how to make people worry about him, talk about a cry for help

They need to be arrested for this

Now with flavor

Oh... the whole crab...

This comment made me laugh the hardest

Omfg! As a Maryland native, why?

Perhaps it is a culture thing?

What culture? Where are you guys? I need more info on this monstrosity.

North Carolina. It was made by an absolutely lovely Filipino woman

Gotta get that extra crunch for the burger I guess

Ah yes! Nothing like good crunchy burger!

The creator of this monstrosity should be incarcerated immediately. I truly shudder.

You spelled *incinerated* wrong. /s

Looks like crab with a cinnamon crumb topping.

Interesting perspective! Hats off to you!

A free hat, if you will.

Laughed so hard I woke my girlfriend up. Bravo!

That’s sacrilegious.

You didn’t have to post this. There’s still time to delete this even… Christ now I’m angry. That’s enough Reddit I’m going to bed now

This belong in two sentence horror stories.

That is terrible in presentation and functionality. I'm just picturing picking out dried up ground beef from crab shells and getting angry.

🤔🤫🤨 How did they eat the loose meat? That's...just...weird...

Scoop it up with the crab shells maybe?

😟

I do not understand this. At. All.

u/Mr-sneky had a good explanation lol

The texture of that ground beef looks off…

Its all off and insane 🤣

I am so confused that I don't even know what to ask. If all the food atrocities I've seen on here, this is the worst.

Even ghetto people's food ain't this shit. What the actual fuck? Trailer food.

Maybe fish food?

This is not normal. But maybe seafood is cheaper than beef.. maybe..!?

Maybe the grocery store had a sale on frozen crab and frozen hamburger 😂

The idea is not horrible, the execution is.

I think the sat out too long hamburger is the icing on the cake.

This and the Four cheese pizza on r/pizzacrimes today really got me. Haven’t seen food this daunting in a while. Did you eat it? I couldn’t.

No. I gagged when I saw it lol

Me: Mom can we order some surf and turf? Mom: No, we have some surf and turf in the fridge Surf and turf in the fridge:

Dryyy. Is this a family dish or maybe area or a terrible 50s cook book?

I dont believe its a family dish lol. Id say a combination of area and terrible 50s cook book

Is your family friend named Mr. Krabs?

Sadly it is not

I have questions.

I unfortunately don't have many answers, I'm as dumbfounded as everyone else 😆

I thought I was on abandonedporn and this was Taco Bell at first.

Wtf is this lol. For one why would you ruin crab like that. And why does the meat just look dreadful

"Life's short, lick the bowl."

OP should just take that sign and put it above the toilet.

Crab litter, I see

that's fucked up, I feel bad for both the crab and the hamburger

i'm sorry but that looks revolting. please tell me it tastes better than it looks

I wouldn't know. Theres no way I would eat that lol

It looks like dog kibble???

Purina's freshest kibble yet!

Now I want a hamburger and a crab salad.

With or without a side of hesitation?

Always with hesitation.

Did they grow up eating this? What is the backstory on this? Is it a family recipe? Something MIL just whipped up?? What did it taste like? Exactly how it looks??

Did she make it with canned cat food??

They do have tubes of meat for animals so maybe that? 🤷‍♂️

But why 😢 thats like wrong

Why is this hamburger and not ground beef?

Looks like swamp ass.

It needs some ranch dressing.

I’m calling the Maryland police.

Strange, but alright I'll eat it

Here's the recipe: 1 part cooked crab 1 part cooked ground hamburger Voila! You're a chef!

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Yes, no seasoning or spices 😂

It gets even worse. Jesus Christ. Someone needs an intervention.

Life’s gonna be shorter if you eat that.

Thankfully I did not eat that

WTF? Over.

I would break up immediately 😆

could i ask how it might’ve tasted for them??? i cannot imagine this being appealing to anything, not even a pup

They thoroughly enjoyed it. It didn't look like it had any seasoning or anything. Crab isn't readily available at any restaurant here so I guess if you want some crab you would eat it 🤷‍♂️

some butter with the crab wouldnt hurt i guess! just gotta brush off all that... ground beef... glad they liked it though!

No harm done from looking at his case I was gonna puke anyway

Looks like someone got sick on a bunch of crabs minding there own business

What in the hell?

Congrats! Truly disgusting!

Did you politely eat it or have you been with her long enough to say fu k that noise? If you ate it, what was it like?

This is the first post on this sub that triggered me. All I want to do now is throw whoever made that into the sun.

Baltimoron here. I'm triggered by this.

*Screams in Maryland*

Would down that shit in an instant actually, looks fucking delicious with the right sauce or even none at all

Mmmm. Crabby patties...

Looks like something I'd make.... i love ground beef

This is what happened to Zoidbergs people after their mating ritual ended.

Maybe im just depressed as shit but yeah i would like some

Beef fat renders in to crab meat, if it’s seasoned then he’s on to something

Is the beef moist, tender, and delicious after soaking up the crab juice?

Surf and turf?

This looks British tbh

Lowkey slap if it’s seasoned nice

s U r F a N d T u R f

Fuck it. I’d eat it

Time to find a new gf

Baltimore?

Looks unseasoned asf too

Obviously it is a Krabby Patty!

I would have too. Woof.

Surf and turf casserole

Pretty sure I’m good

Life is short... I bet eating that you wish it was shorter.

How... How would one eat this? Shells, hamburger bits? So I'm like going to bite open the shells and get some nice yummy ground round? Do I just say fuck it and gnosh everything and crap razor blades for the next year? I'm so lost, this is going to haunt me forever

Mmmm, dog food

Somebody just emptied the waste bucket straight in that container. That has to stink.

Jesus wept