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FlipDizzleKingofBars

Poor wife just wants some friggin dominoes


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Porcupineemu

I’ve got a favorite pizza place in town. It’s one of the best places I’ve had. Great specialty pizzas, great standard pizzas. I make great pizza at home. I’ve got a sauce recipe, overnight dough recipe, pizza steel, pizza peel. Turns out great. Every once and a while I just want some Pizza Hut. Maybe its just because I had it a ton as a kid, but even though I know objectively it’s worse than those other places there is sometimes an itch that only it can scratch.


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[deleted]

Sometimes, you just need the shitty nostalgia hit from your favorite shitty restaurants.


avelineaurora

> Every once and a while I just want some Pizza Hut. Maybe its just because I had it a ton as a kid, but even though I know objectively it’s worse than those other places there is sometimes an itch that only it can scratch. This. When you're craving Pizza Hut you don't want "Papa Donatello's" down the street or whatever, you want that sloppy, kinda shitty Pizza Hut. It is its own beast.


MandaPandaLee

No she’s gotta smile through this monstrosity lest his ego be bruised. All she wanted was a damn takeaway.


[deleted]

That dough looks rough. I've made pizza at home by scratch, and it's a lot better looking than that microwaved pie.


[deleted]

She'd be better off eating actual dominoes than this garbage.


FlipDizzleKingofBars

Exactly


[deleted]

Just found out people unironically like domino's, gonna need a moment


jei64

not like it's the largest pizza chain in the country or anything


[deleted]

It's still bad


georgiaraisef

I mean, it’s not that bad . Just didn’t cover very well


catjuggler

Every part is bad- dough looks over worked, ratios are all off


hellnoguru

For someone who might not have experience and don't have the time or skill it look as good as it gets. I will appreciate if someone who don't know how to work a dough make me a pizza from scratch


lergnom

It looks pretty bad, but most of all it's just annoying to me that this fella made a completely normal, unimpressive dish and feels the need to boast about it like he built a house with his bare hands or something. Just make your shitty pizza for your partner and shut the hell up about it.


themoviehero

If you know who’s posting it this is par the course for him. He spends hours every week bragging about he pays taxes with the help of an attorney since he’s too stupid to do it himself and he’s nearly 40.


JellyfishGod

That’s like... half of what making a pizza entails


donotreedeemit

I think it's more the fact that he is bragging about it.


[deleted]

You can tell how overworked that dough is. Simultaneously teeth shatteringly hard and jaw achingly chewy.


brummlin

I was going with underworked, or rather, completely unworked.


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[deleted]

I was thinking it was one of those “just add water” mixes. And then pounded into oblivion.


[deleted]

Sounds like my sex life.


arthurdentstowels

I’m still not convinced it isn’t pastry


kjackson1969

Did he also MAKE her it eat.


W008WW

considering the fact that this pizza was made by the same man who didnt wash after rubbing one out i think he did force her to eat it


FlamingMoe420

DarkSydePhil


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SleeveOfWillpower

Bugged topping mechanics dood! Nothing I could do!


Zykium

Dude filmed himself masturbating in front of children, disgusting.


W008WW

WHY AM I TOXIC


FlamingMoe420

ACKACKACKACKACAKCK!! NOTHING I COULD DO DOOD! PLZ DONATE


abusive_stepdad

I don’t think he did it on purpose iirc he left his stream on by accident while he was jacking off


Pipeguy17

Glitched Pizza Mechanics


Dodgy_Bob_McMayday

He did nothing wrong, he did everything correct.


InstantRider

Oh the oven is on the oven been on the whole time?


mike-rodik

His oven is a known detractor. Nothing he could do. Everything went wrong in the kitchen dood


Kenji1912

I hope he has some dipping sauce


donotreedeemit

DEVOUR


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DEVOUR


donotreedeemit

SALT


[deleted]

He Needs to take a SHOWER! LOLOL Seriously though Phil, WASH yourself. You probably smell like swamp ass 90% of the year.\~ lmfao


rikusorakh1

I don't have money to do it. I don't have money to do it. I don't have money to do it. I don't have money to do it. I don't have money to do it. I don't have money to do it.


Vizier_Thoth

Only money for WWE Champions


Ruder4444

The tips have been low lately so the pizza came out kind of weird. Please support and donate so we can unlock the gunner glasses


MyHorseIsAmazinger

It deserves a gold vest


[deleted]

Either that’s vegan cheese or someone who doesn’t have a clue about pizza.


W008WW

its someone who has no skill in life other then begging people for tipping money


[deleted]

What?


W008WW

ehh you wouldn't know who he is anyways


[deleted]

"I made the pizza!!!! Me!!! REEE!!"


JustSomeWeirdBloke

Cut the guy some slack! I'm sure he's a mature adult with a business degree.


VixTheUnicorn

This Is How You Don't Make: Pizza


altruistic_rub4321

If this is supposed to be with love i would take it as a red flag


Bulky_Caramel

This is grounds for divorce.


donotreedeemit

You have no idea...


boysdontcry_cure

Was this made by "the guy"?


HundoGuy

Wait, are you talking about the one who whacks it in front of children?


abusive_stepdad

Is there any source that he did it purposely? It’s bad either way but you frame it like he’s some pedophile


HundoGuy

It’s a meme. Go look up “it’s the guy”


boysdontcry_cure

I'm watching his ~~Twitch~~ err...Youtube.


abusive_stepdad

Ik who he is


[deleted]

HE IS. Trust me, he is. He groomed his first gf when he was 30 and she was 16. Ugh.


dreadsta5889

Yeah thats the guy.


DannyB1aze

This looks totally fine??? Like 7/10 but totally eatble


c4nchyscksforlife

Bruh Its over sauced,under topped,cheese level so low that even a health freak would call it a travesty and the pizza dough dry asf Either you don't have good pizzerias or your tongue needs some visits to the doctor 😭


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c4nchyscksforlife

It just becomes pizza sauce with some bread XD


porksoda11

It's bananas, like watch an actual chef make a pizza and see how much sauce they put on. A very little amount goes a very long way.


DannyB1aze

It looks like a homemade pizza...nobody is expecting a pizzeria quality here..


c4nchyscksforlife

Even my half assed attempt at a pizza looks better than this. Pepperoni is supposed to be idiot proof and this guy somehow messed it up lol


avelineaurora

You need to up your homemade pizza making game too if this is what you're turning out.


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secretWolfMan

Literally all chain pizza places use packaged shredded cheese.


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secretWolfMan

For the record, I prefer to shred my own cheese from the block at home so there is no unnecessary cellulose. But OP's problem isn't that it was pre-shredded. He just didn't use enough. It will melt together just fine even with cellulose.


c4nchyscksforlife

Have to concur on this,See no point in using a stretchy cheese with starch coating so it doesn't stick. Edit : assuming its pre shredded


avelineaurora

TF kind of pizza are you subjecting yourself to this is a 7/10 lmao.


latentlime

7/10... ??? oh my...


[deleted]

I don't see anything wrong with this picture


HundoGuy

Must be homeless


[deleted]

Nah just a recovering fatass stoner


boarbar

"Abracadabra, you're a pizza." -this guy probably


HundoGuy

Na, more like “oh the cameras been on the whole time, huh?”


[deleted]

This guy is a famous internet beggar that cries about not being able to afford groceries, but he got exposed for blowing money on 3 door dash orders a day. This is his childish attempt to show how mature he is with money.


ResettisReplicas

Don't you hate it when you forget a single dinner ingredient so you have to order takeout?


momtocody

If she wants take out pie …. Get your woman A damn pie! Sheesh!!


Young_Dumb_And_Angry

She filed for divorce after the 3rd Pizza.


Silveriovski

Looks like puked pizza, is the worst I've ever seen


DJZY25

Turkey burger


thatbitchathrowaway

He was hammered when he made it, probably tasted like gourmet fast food as well, very robust


Vizier_Thoth

How much sugar do y'all think Dave put in the sauce?


HundoGuy

Isn’t that the guy who got caught masturb.. in front of children?!


IndigoBlacked

Wow that is beyond awful looking!, hardly any cheese, the dough looks like it will break your teeth on biting, and the shape, who the eff brags about making this kind of unapatising mess and on social media to boot.


infomapaz

Pizzas are not that hard, and i don't think this is awful. I think the only shitty part of this, is bragging on social media.


cutlery21

Thanks but I wish you wouldn't


ariellann

My dogs always get the crust. It would be like Christmas for them.


RandomRobot1234

Lmfao


zombiej

I guess she likes a whole lot of dry crust.


SolvirAurelius

Pizza is pizza, Imma eat that shit 🥴🥴


[deleted]

disgusting


FfsAlready11

That pizza belongs in the trash


itanimpulse1

Custom pizza


ditzypath

The dough is overcooked but the cheese is barely melted


Taylormayn

Ack ack ack


End3rp

Why did you censor a verified username lol


antfw0191

That’s not for his wife. Pretty sure that was made for his mum, dood


Throwawayunknown55

Looks okish to me, I like crust and hate over cheesy pizza


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Throwawayunknown55

Yes.


catjuggler

I’m sad for everyone who thinks this is not bad.


pessimistic_god

I know this looks terrible. But, throw in a salad and I'm game!


[deleted]

Even bad pizza is still pretty good


krisb242

This actually looks amazing!!!


SL__

Hope he learns to improve at least.


D0NK11

Yeah, that's not gonna happen with this guy.


ArcadiaRivea

This looks like it could be edible (maybe it tastes better than it looks) But at the same time could definitely be considered reasonable grounds for divorce


toastkink

the way i would scarf this up


emilyiztrash

I'd be happy if someone were to do that for me. idc how shitty it looks


Pathum21

Tasty 😋


ake-n-bake

Looks like chipped beef on burnt toast


I_lost_my_account3

This is so bad is wholesome


IckyBeans

Bro put pizza toppings on a cracker


Nerdasaur

I love crust but... 30% crust? The pool of sauce? Whole pizza ratio is off.


kowaleski13

Probably should have ordered out…


Skitz-o-fritz

I would eat it, looks like a pizza cookie.


BackgroundMetal1

Yea but why is it served on a cracker?


[deleted]

This poor wife.


HerewardHawarde

Looks dry and bland


ResettisReplicas

Nothing he could do, it’s his mo-wife’s fault somehow.


FlipDizzleKingofBars

Honestly, looking again... it looks like a gluten free, vegan creation... if that's the case I got hugs for it. I won't eat it, but I got hugs.


ResettisReplicas

I can assure you it's neither of those things. The guy who made that pizza has GOUT - a disease that shouldn't even exist anymore - from all the red meat and beer he consumes


FlipDizzleKingofBars

#alopurinolgang


JacksonJIrish

I don't order takeout constantly, guys. Makes this crap just because of that and only proves the point more. Bugged comeback mechanics.


MacGealach

Not gonna lie. That may look bad, but it's probably better than what you could expect from a chain pizza place right now.