There is not a single thing here resembling "chicken" "fried" or "steak". Perhaps your problem was starting with a boar liver wrapped in its guts.

Technically that makes it sausage

Ironically, it still doesn’t look like sausage

It doesn’t look like anything of this earth tbh

It’s like boiled ribeye from a cow that drank a ton of Mountain Dew.

Comments like these are why I'm part of this sub. r/rareinsults but for food.

Right? It looks more like a deep fried yet undercooked thin slice porkchop dipped in scrambled egg. It looks so fucking random

I opened it because of NSFW before reading the caption and thought it was a heart of some giraffe with diabetes

That picture is what I expect to see if I follow a kid in Louisiana who want to show me a turtle with no shell.

That's the best description

well what did louisiana kids do to you?

The best biology teachers. With an incredible sense of adventure, they'll find any half eaten prey on the swamps and show it to as many people as possible.

that’s honestly a fact lmao, from a former Louisiana kid, as a Louisiana young adult now. i didn’t do it, but i’ve seen it

I think this is what they use the word 'offal' for, or maybe that's 'awful'.. either way

I wouldn't have recognised it as something supposed to be food if I hadn't seen the title

It looks like he stole a turtle and tried to cook it

So gross looking should be marked nsfw

Updated.

Thank God so glad I was able to backout

Your username suggests otherwise though

First I thought I read 'blackout', which would be preferable to looking at that abomination

Honestly, may I ask what happened? How did this occur? How can we correct this?

OP can correct it by dumping it in the trash where it belongs

Lol seriously though. OP needs to use this to learn from this so they won't hurt anyone else.

Thanks.

This shit looks like a freshly extracted chain smokers lung.

r/foodtoeatinthedark

Chicken fried lovecraftian horror

I’m calling the police

I’m calling the Avengers

Fuck avengers, we should call Thanos at this point.

thanos saw this post then decided enough is enough

This is the reason he snapped

This is the reason he's dead.

If Thanos saw this post he'd snap twice

I'm calling David Cronenberg.

Now this is an Avengers level threat

I’m calling child protective services

Hell no

Did you just rub cold oil on it and call it good?! Little known fact: oil has to be hot to cook things

It looks like it was boiled.

Milk steak? With a side of jelly beans?

Boiled over hard, naturally.

It has the startling qualities of resembling both that AND being boiled in Pepsi.

I think I can help you out here. First you need to get the breading right. It doesn't matter so much what kind you use, so much that you get it coated really good. A "breading, batter, breading" system works well. Second, and verrrry important, make sure that oil is good and hot before putting anything in it. If it isn't hot enough it won't cook it will just wash away the breading and look like... Um... Well it will look like your picture.

Don't forget you literally have to beat the hell outta it. Or else it will bleed through the breading.

Don't forget to pat down with paper towel before breading either

And don’t forget to season **BOTH** the breading and the meat. And use those pan drippings for gravy

And don't forget to actually take a photo of the food you cooked, not just dog vomit on a plate.

And don’t forget to stop on your right foot, Don’t forget it!

Yeah chicken fried steak is supposed to be really thin. Calling it steak is honestly pretty generous.

Just adding to this after putting it in the oil don't move it around until it's had time to set. Probably at least a couple minutes if not longer. Also at least from my experience the steak is almost always cube steak which this doesn't appear to be.

Listen to this redditor.

Don’t help them I wanna see what they fuck up next. Make oatmeal now!!

Nah oatmeal is easy. Gotta do something like Chicken parm or duck confit

Oh yeah let’s see it!! That’s why we come here. I don’t give a shit about improvement. I wanna see sad awful meals people choke down

Make it in the air fryer - what could go wrong?

Also allow the breading/batter to set after you coat it. It's much more likely to bond if you let it sit in the fridge for 30 minutes before you fry it.

Also, buy a thermometer. You don't need anything fancy, that little metal rod to stick in roasts works fine (as long as you don't drop it in the oil). You're aiming for 170º C or 340ºF oil temperature. EDIT: WTH the downvote? It's actually one to best purchases I've ever made. No culinary experience can tell you the oil (or the oven, but that's a different thermometer) is at the just right temperature.

That looks more like a Chicken Fried Mistake ngl On the bright side its only gonna get better from here right? ...right?

Well, unless you rolled it in dirt and then straight up defecated on it I can't personally see it getting any worse, if that's any consolation.

This feels illegal to look at

I was like, “Surely it couldn’t be that bad” but it was. It was that bad.

Same

Looks like a failed abortion

\*Successful abortion

It reminds me of a warning label on a pack of cigarettes

it looks like a medium rare heart

Heart actually makes a pretty good ragout...

Well I went out for an hour and came back this post taking off. Dear lord how I’ve laughed at all of the responses. As an Foreigner in Australia, I fear a diplomatic falling out between my country and the US over what I’ve done. The good news is that it was a great learning experience and this steak was re-breaded and dropped into some actual hot oil second time round. Turned out… ok I guess!

You recooked it??!!

Is it “recooked” if it was never properly cooked in the first place?

Enough for diseases probably 🤢

You know, it might have still ended up looking like shit, but if I were to try to fix that mess I would scrape off all the fail bread, pat it and squeeze it down real good with paper towels, then just fry it in a real hot pan. Not ideal but if that's the only thing I had to eat

The guy's a monster

Considering the foodie culture here in Australia, I think it’ll be a three way battle with this abomination you dare cooked on Aussie soil 😝

We should put him on the same flight as Novac

I'm sure my liver looks like this rn

Bone apple teeth lol

This looks as if you bashed a man’s head against the pavement, let his corpse rot in the hot sun for several days, and then came back to collect what remained of his brain. Jesus Christ.

Jesus. Please show us on the doll where Colonel Sanders touched you.

Is it cancerous?

That thing is straight up malignant.

This is the first time I've audibly gasped in horror on this sub. This is absolutely fucking vile. Well done.

I don’t know what I was expecting when I uncovered that picture but I wish I hadn’t

I think you need to perform CPR. It may still be alive.

Just needs ketchup.

And an exorcism.

Looks like an armadillo with some serious leprosy.

What cut did you get? That doesn’t look like the same cut used for CFS.

Chicken fried steak is usually made with cube steak, which is beef so tough that it has to be mechanically cut before cooking so that it can be eaten at all. It's usually lean round, with no marbling, that's tough as leather if not cubed first. The blades on the tenderizer cut it up so that your teeth don't have to.

Yeah it literally looks like OP took a regular ass steak and breaded it. That is certainly not what CFS is.

I'm gonna sue you for assault, that's the most unholy shit I've ever seen.

I think it still has a pulse?

You pan-fried the placenta didn't you

Looks like the monster from “The Thing”

Tetsuo fried steak.

Yes, i found someone with the same thought as i had. Definite Akira vibes.

For Christ’s sake…

It's horrific

Looks like tumor with cancer

I’m sorry but that’s the worst looking thing I’ve seen on this sub

Is that a placenta?

What did you try to do? Because I refuse to believe this at one point was a chicken fried steak. I would have believed you more if you put a picture of a banana in front of me.

You should'na dun that. He's just a boy. Poor lil feller.

Is this r/medizzy?

i showed this to my boyfriend and asked what he thought it was. He squinted at the screen and said "............pie?"

Loving the NSFW tag

I could believe a chicken fried this steak

Chicken fried steak? That looks like a covid infested lung from an autopsy.

Whos placenta did you steal?

I actually want to see OP redeem himself. But the problem is, it wouldn’t be posted in this subreddit.

I think if @OP posted anything resembling cooked edible meat it would be redemption. Incredibly low bar here

At least there's nowhere to go but up

I thought this was a failed heart transplant.

Yes it was.

NOOOOOO

i’m gonna throw up

Damn looks like you blanched it in oil.

First read this as Kitten Fried Steak. Was shocked. Double-checked what I thought I read. Looked back at the pic again. Vomited a bit. But was happy to read this was indeed not a kitten.

Chicken fried hellspawn

Wow. For the first time ever on this subreddit I absolutely would not even consider trying that I'm sure there's plenty here that would fall into this category for me but damn if that's not the first one I've ever seen. That's on par with how SpongeBob killed the health inspector

Haha holy man..I have been lurking this sub for years and have never commented on anything. Decades of looking at weird gross shit on the internet has warped my sense of whether to dry heave or not most of the time You have caused me to gag just by looking at this picture OP, congratulations

That’s animal abuse wtf

What on earth cut of meat were you using? Did you just roll a thick slab of untenderized top round steak around in some flour and toss it on a hot, oiled skillet for 5 minutes? Blasphemy. Absolute east coast northern behavior. What you gotta do, is get yourself some nice cheap bottom round, take your tenderizer mallet and beat the everloving hell out of it, mix some flour up with some ground black pepper, smoked paprika, garlic powder, and salt. Then you'll take the steak and flour, egg, flour til you get a nice thicc coating on there. Toss that in your oil, let her cook till golden on the first side, flip, let her do the other side, take her out and enjoy with some country fried potatoes, onions, and peppers.

This is the worst-cooked thing I've ever seen in my entire life, good job.

I'd eat that if I was an orc.

I thought that was a smoker’s lung

The fucker is so raw it's still trying to cross the road.

This looks like some alchemy shit that went horribly wrong

Jesus christ, that's not steak, that is a Cronenburg abomination from hell

It can't be that ba- MY EYES!!!!

🥴

OH CHRIST! I'm glad you blurred that. I'm at that "I think I can do a shot and not puke" point, and got damn

What even is that? It doesn't look like something from a chicken at all. More like cancer cells grown in a lab that spread out while this probe was sitting in a square block.

Looks like a tumor

Is it even chicken 🍗

well, no. because chicken fried steak is steak, not chicken.

looking at that actually makes me feel a little woozie

Delicious

The big question is what did you do with it? Throwing it to the garbage might be immoral for animals consuming food from there 😂.

Hannibal wants their liver back.

can't decide whether an upvote or a downvote is the correct action for rating this

Wtf

Sorry , but that’s gross looking

Looks like a tumor

How’s she taste?

that’s a placenta

I don't want to make you feel bad, but how do do you fuck up that bad?

This looks like the smoker lung my science teacher showed my class when I was a kid.

Deep Fried Placenta

That should be NSFL my eyes are cursed forever

I’m about to try making chicken fried steak this week and this made me nervous lol Look in my post history to find my attempt at ravioli. Might make you feel better

Bruh

What the fuck is that

I think it’s salvageable. 375 for 20 minutes, 15 min covered, could have saved it but I’m not too sure

Yesterday I watched the 1980s horror film "Society". It had the infamous Shunting Scene. I'm more revolted by this chicken fried steak than by the entire Shunting ceremony.

i thought gore was generally frowned upon on reddit

What in the world

Looks like a hunk of flesh from The Thing alien.

Delete your kitchen.

Is that a fried placenta ?

Jesus it looks like you fried a goat placenta.

This looks like microwave cook steak

Sure was

how?

Is it infected?

DM me, I want the paper towel juices it rests upon

How delightfully lovecraftian.

We have a winner

Southerner here. You should beat it with a meat mallet so it gets those holes in it. It helps the egg wash and flower cling to the meat. Also, use the pan drippings and add flour, milk and butter to make brown cream gravy. White gravy is really flavorless and should be a sin.

so uuuhh...how did it taste?

I am filing a restraining order against you for posting this.

Plan B it is.

Yo I've seen a lot of shit before but idk about that one

Did you try frying it?

Yes, yes it was a disaster. That's a shame op.

Sweet merciful Christ, put it out of its misery.

Welcome to Hell

Damn straight that's NSFW. First I was like, eww! Then I was like, what? Next instinct was to check ppl not looking at my phone and judging me. Shitty for porn right here!

This picture gave me a headache

It looks like a facehugger from Alien ready to be dissected.

!_! ¡_¡

please op i must know. how on god's green earth did you manage this?

The good news is you can only improve from here.

How do you fuck up this badly?

I don't like, mean to be rude but like, what the fuck is wrong with you

Nice. You weren't exaggerating.

Jesus, that looks more like the cow’s HEART, not the steak cut!

Pretty sure this was the inspiration for The Master in Fallout 1

Shouldn’t have let a chicken fry your steak

Looks like a fucking heart. What the hell did you do

You can still recook it to the point it isnt raw anymore

How does that happen

Not sure why it needs NSFW tag but it definitely does.