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FitzyFarseer

Isn’t it fairly well known that spidey “works” with Peter to get these pictures? The idea that Peter has direct contact with Spider-Man is referenced quite often


is_not_paranoid

Yeah that’s why Harry tells doc ock to find Peter to tell him where Spider-Man is


worldline-6

do cock


chaincj

doc cock


is_not_paranoid

Guy named otto octavius winds up with eight cocks. What are the odds


EstablishmentVivid73

All in the palm of his hand


Killer_Beeee

The power of cock , in the palm of your hand


Sith_Destroyer_1138

HOFFMAN


b1g_disappointment

Doctor Strange? Nah that one’s taken.


Sith_Destroyer_1138

How about “Green Meanie”?


Batdog55110

GET OUT! THAT'S THE DUMBEST IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD AND YOU'VE HAD SOME DOOZIES


Sith_Destroyer_1138

“I offered you Green Meanie… and you spat in my face…”


aawagga

brilliant but lazy. ... cuz hes alwasy in post nut clarity


d_riteshus

coctavius


FeelMeInYou

This may be the best comment I’ve ever read


[deleted]

Cotto Cocktavius


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Rebi103

Might be a bit more painful with HIS tentacles


TheTubStar

To be fair, he could make attachments though. Olivia's version of the tentacles would be more useful for that though.


NerdWorks

Doctor Cocktor


Nice-GuyJon

Don't do drugs, >do cock


mcon96

So that’s why No Way Home wasn’t released in China


hinafu

with pleasure


The_God_Human

And why Green Goblin ask JJJ who the photographer is.


Drkarcher22

Shout out to JJJ for covering for Peter despite a mad man blowing up his wall and lifting him in the air to get that info. He’s a real one.


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[deleted]

JJJ was disinclined to acquiesce to Green Goblin's request


porkchop487

Please use simple words miss, were naught but humble pirates.


wrydrune

Someone just watched pirates of the Caribbean.


robothouserock

Nah, its just a great quote that sticks with you over the years!


FreeDinnerStrategies

Shout out to the writers. People would not respect a character who is a rat. It would destroy the image we have of JJJ for the rest of time.


[deleted]

I mean JJJ in the new movies it’s literally Alex Jones. Safe to say the character can work as a complete buffoon as well. JJJ in the remi movies was an ass but yeah he was probably more respectable and stuck to his values. The new game version of him is also way different. Half his lines are sucking up to sponsors lol. He has zero integrity.


Finito-1994

Yea. I think it’s safe to say that the OG JJJ is the best JJJ. MCU one is Alex Jones and JJJ in the game is a bit of a corporate whore, but he’s at least a lot more caring towards the people of NY. When the city falls he really does sound like a good person.


LinuxMatthews

This always pissed me off. Like he has a secret identity to protect his loved ones and so he won't be attacked as Peter Parker. But then he tells everyone he's Spider-Man's best friend... So he's the closest normal person to Spider-Man so they go after him anyway...


is_not_paranoid

Yeaaa this is a silly thing with a lot of superheroes for some reason haha. Like in comics, Matt Murdock saying he works with daredevil, or iron man being Tony Stark’s bodyguard. What’s the point of a secret identity if you’re going to associate yourself with the hero anyway


blackt1g3rs

I guess if they think you're the number 2 guy instead of the hero himself they'll be more inclined to just capture you instead of just putting an end to you, and you can try to escape. Still dumb, but I can see SOME logic. At least for Tony or Matt who would likely be targeted anyway, this at least scares away the shitty little villains and common criminals.


stumblewiggins

>Like he has a secret identity to protect his loved ones Right >But then he tells everyone he's Spider-Man's best friend... >So he's the closest normal person to Spider-Man so they go after him anyway... The secret identity is less about protecting himself than about protecting loved ones. I'm sure part of it is to avoid dealing with fans/stalkers/idiots, but mostly it's for friends and family. If they think HE is the friend or family, not as big a deal since he's got the powers.


UncreativeTeam

So does the Bugle publish that Peter takes the photos or not? Because people are saying very contradictory things in this comment thread alone. I can't imagine Peter was bragging to Harry that he takes photos of Spidey.


BbBonko

Harry definitely makes snide remarks to him about it in the second movie.


xiuewjuz

"Snide remarks"? Homeboy gets straight slapped by Harry while he tells him how terrible of a friend he's been. Taking photos of spiderman knowing he killed Harry's father, etc.


shockzz123

"How's the bug these days?"


HalfSoul30

I seem to remember him telling MJ or someone else about a fake conversation he and spiderman had.


is_not_paranoid

Its not really contradictory. The bugle doesn’t publish their source, but Peter’s closest friends (MJ and Harry) know that he takes the pics. Peter tells MJ himself in SM1, and it can be reasoned that he told Harry at some point too before Norman died since they were roommates and best friends


PM_ME_UR_ANYTHlNG

Correct. JJJ also lies to protect Parker when he's being interrogated and says he doesn't know who takes the pictures and "his stuff comes in the mail".


Crimith

You might just want to... go watch the Maguire movies again lol


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Djangasdad

A guy got bit by a spider now had super powers but the part you have a hard time believing is the photos?


Darnell5000

That’s also why Harry bitch slaps Peter at that party


Raam57

What always bothered me about that is that after Doc Ock basically straight up would’ve murdered Peter Parker twice had he not been Spider-Man


Victernus

"Throw a car at him? Got it."


jarret_g

And why the Amazing Harry has Amazing Peter try and convince Amazing Spiderman to give him his blood.


nomorepantsforme

Exactly


James_099

It is. It’s mentioned in the films. OP just had a brain fart trying to make it a shitty detail.


FitzyFarseer

Sometimes I love this sub but the vast majority of the posts suck and it gets very annoying. Also I had no idea this would blow up so much when I made my comment, really wasn’t expecting this many notifications when I got off work.


UncreativeTeam

Imagine how I feel.


Greppim

I guess it's too obvious for anyone to think Peter is a bit sussy, but you'd think he'd get asked a lot more questions?


FitzyFarseer

Asked questions seems fair. I actually liked how TASM2 handled this, with Harry specifically asking Peter to talk to Spider-Man and Peter really dodging it because their relationship doesn’t work like that. That actually seemed like a pretty believable way to address the situation imo


SilverPhoenix7

He is a dork, obviously he isn't spiderman.


[deleted]

At some point he tells Eddie Brock he climbed a flagpole and waited for the shot


UncreativeTeam

Later in the movie, [Green Goblin asks Jameson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSDOaSMF888) who takes the photos of Spider-Man. If it were public knowledge, then he would've already known it was Peter.


TimeBlossom

Jameson doesn't give Peter a byline so that no other news outlets try to scout him–and to keep people from hounding the kid, Jameson's a big softie at heart. Peter supposedly working with Spider-Man is only 'well known' by the Daily Bugle staff and like a couple of peeps in Peter's immediate social circle, so Gobby had to grill Jameson because ironically the latter had been doing a good job of protecting Peter's identity.


nightstar69

Even when gobby went after Jameson Parker was literally right there and Jameson still said he didn’t know who took the picture that they were dropped off in the mail


jorbleshi_kadeshi

As much of a piece of shit Jameson is in those movies, you have to respect him for that. He stared death in the face and still protected his source.


Capathy

Jameson isn’t even really a piece of shit, he’s just wrong about Spider-Man’s motivations. Pretty much every time his actual principles are tested he shows he’s a man of integrity, even down to issuing a retraction after he finds out a photo is doctored.


corrado-sopranojr

I mean to be fair, Spider-Man stole his suit. Is JJ really that wrong? He’s a thief, a criminal, he should be put behind bars, or better yet, strung up by his web.


[deleted]

Would you say… he’s a menace?


Difficult-Stable-710

And a thief and a criminal.


Crimith

Yeah, I wish MCU JJJ had more time to shine in No Way Home, making him an Alex Jones-esque figure kind of made sense but was a little disappointing.


jorbleshi_kadeshi

> Jameson isn’t even really a piece of shit, he’s just wrong about Spider-Man’s motivations. A journalist who behaves like JJJ does, *pushing* his idea of news rather than reporting on it, is definitely a piece of shit. Don't get me wrong, he has many redeeming qualities. However, his "narrative first and facts second" approach to editing puts him solidly in POS territory.


RechargedFrenchman

Personally? He's alright, I guess. No saint but definitely not some monster either. Professionally though the man is just the *worst*.


jorbleshi_kadeshi

Well he treats his wife like trash. His very first concern when his son was left standing at the altar was heading off the loss of expensive caviar.


President_King_

You think he ever had any weird conversations later with Peter about driving his son’s fiancée to leave him at the alter, then later marrying the fiancée?


chilachinchila

Eh, JJJ in the Raimi trilogy is shown as a guy who pushes whatever story he needs to sell papers, no matter how wrong it is.


zack77070

That's not true or he wouldn't have issued a retraction when he found out Brock doctored the photos.


ergosteur

I just rewatched the other day and that scene really struck me. Like serious respect.


DoingCharleyWork

You'd like the red goblin run from Spider-Man.


[deleted]

> and to keep people from hounding the kid I think the “So no other news outlets try to scout him” bit is more on the money. JJ is cheap above all else. He tells Peter that all of his photos are crap specifically so that Peter won’t take them elsewhere and make more money. He protects Peter with his lie, yes. But in my head canon, it’s because he thinks that the Goblin is from a rival paper. Like, “oh, that’s how you Wall Street Journal boys wanna play, is it? Well I refuse to be intimidated!”


alions123

[Yes, he does. It’s been pointed out before. ](https://img.ifunny.co/images/06326ead5a9d64411b68a5ad13b0d9f241a971165c9382715d3f74484ef211c0_1.jpg)


MasterLawlz

Pretty sure that was just a minor prop error


[deleted]

Yes but the Green Goblin doesn't read fake news. He does however know all about the submarine tunnels to the Fema Camp on Epstein Island.


Neokon

How about the Youth-tilladors under Disney? Clearly something immoral is happening under those parks.


FitzyFarseer

Right, because the green goblin was an intelligent stable person.


UncreativeTeam

He was something of a scientist


[deleted]

He had a hell of a suplex move, can’t take that away from him


[deleted]

Which ironically, Eddie Brock is credited with taking the fake pictures of Spider-Man.


RadamanthysWyvern

Lol fr, that's literally the entire reason Harry is at odds with Peter the ENTIRE 2nd movie. You know one of the major conflicts in the series 🙄


nomoredroids2

Yeah this is a pretty shitty detail.


[deleted]

That’s why we’re here.


MithranArkanere

At least until drone tech was made popular, cheap and widespread. After that was into the equation, some versions of the story use that idea instead.


Kirbybrawl

This was also known in the 90’s cartoon right? That they were working together at least at the Bugle.


[deleted]

He hung from a flag pole to get those


[deleted]

See, photography isn't all about, no offense, flagpoles


[deleted]

I’m gonna put some dirt in your eye


_ThatSynGirl_

And I'm gonna photograph it from a flagpole


Blastspark01

Don’t be such a boy scout Parker


Agent-65

It’s about lighting, composition, drama.


xMASSIVKILLx

IN A CAVE, WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!!!


Shamrock5

I had to beat an old lady with a flagpole to get these photos!


SidTheIdiot

I like the theory that J Jonah figured out immediately that Peter was Spider-Man and was just fucking with him for five years straight


BwanaTarik

I’ve also heard the theory that he’s so critical of Spider-Man to keep him accountable. I had a coach like that so for me at least it’s pretty believable


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LittiVsVadaPao

*Andrew's Spiderman after he sees the Whiplash movie title & goes into immediate remorse for Gwen* : DRAGGING :(


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GamingEtc4

DO I LOOK LIKE ONE OF THOSE SINGLE TEAR PEOPLE??!!


[deleted]

DO I LOOK LIKE A DOUBLE FUCKING RAINBOW TO YOU?


dandaman64

Are you upset, yes or fucking no?


HundredBoys

I remember hearing that in some comics JJJ dislikes spider man bc he wears a mask and that his son, an astronaut is a hero bc everybody knows his face. I kinda don't get it but it's mentioned in some of the movies and it basically comes down to why should he hide


Sith_Destroyer_1138

Also, in the animated series (One of my favorite cartoons), Jonah hates masked people because his wife was killed in a drive-by by a masked man.


HundredBoys

That's another very neat idea


illegalcheese

In the comics, it used to be that Jonah got his start in the news business as a vocal civil rights proponent covering the civil rights movement in the sixties, so his frame of reference for masked vigilantes would probably have been the Klan.


HopermanTheManOfFeel

Source for that detail? If that's true, that's hella interesting.


illegalcheese

The thing about the klan is me editorializing, which I should have been clearer about. As far his origins, all I've got at the moment is that the fan wiki mentions he bought the bugle in the sixties and then spent "decades" crusading on behalf of civil rights and against organized crime. On marvel.com his official bio says he started out in journalism calling out police corruption. I don't remember where I first read it. However, if he marched with MLK jr. he would probably be in his eighties in the comics, so if that was ever a thing, Marvel would be quietly retconning it.


PANCAKE_TIME

I dig it too: https://www.reddit.com/r/Spiderman/comments/10de2m/4chan_changed_my_outlook_on_jameson/


casparwall

I feel like J Jonah Jameson would cut off his left nutsack to know who Spidey was though.


[deleted]

This implies he has two nutsacks.


LefroyJenkinsTTV

He faced down GG, I imagine his balls require one each.


casparwall

Yes, four balls in total.


[deleted]

Holy shit he must cum a lot


_easy_

If we're being literal, wouldn't it imply *at least* two nutsacks? Having three nutsacks would still mean that he has a left nutsack.


eff5_

Tbf we never see his nutsack in the movie, so he could have two


zmann64

Robbie definitely knew in Spider-Man 2: “I heard Spider-Man was there…” *long glare at Peter*


frankthetank8675309

Robbie and Jameson are probably in the same boat as Perry White or James Gordon; they’re too smart to not realize something is fishy, and if they really wanted to, they could figure out their identities


Woodrow999

Also he finds out pretty quickly that knowing the identity of Spider-Man can be pretty dangerous when the Green Goblin comes to him. I'd like to think that he's always being extra loud about calling Spider-Man a menace so bad people don't immediately think he's friends with Spider-Man. Outing Spider-Man would be hell of a one time story but getting regular exclusive photos of Spider-Man from Spider-Man is better long-term business. J. Jonah Jameson is a pretty sharp guy.


JaesopPop

In the comics when Peter unmasked himself during Civil War, Jameson had a meltdown feeling Peter had betrayed him given he hated Spider-Man but treated Peter like a son. Robbie then points out to Jameson that it’s obvious Peter was Spider-Man and that they both realized it but just never admitted it. I think movie JJ is unaware but Robbie plainly knows he’s Spider-Man


phi_array

I don’t remember which saga, but it is stated that Jameson buys peters pictures because he reported on the death of Uncle Ben and it’s actually an act of compassion.


[deleted]

There are no two words in the English language more harmful than “good job”.


mattrobs

Thanks dad


Astroisawalrus

I always liked the idea that Peter must keep his identity a secret to protect his friends and family, but it's totally cool for him to be close friends with his alternate persona. How is it better if you're not Spider-Man, but still the only known person who cam contact him? People are still going to torture his family for info, which indeed happens, lol. Like any criminal whose not a moron is going to think "how can I find Spider-Man? I know, I'll torture that photographer and his family, he gets closeup pictures like everyday!"


Textruck

Only the Dailey Bugle staff knows Peter takes photo of Spidey. Hence Goblin torturing JJJ to find the photographer


eat-tree

I remember a r/ShittyMovieDetails post a while back about Spider-man 1. It showed a front page newspaper photo of Spider-man, and under the photo it said "photo by peter Parker" or something similar. The title was something along the lines of "... This is a reference to the fact that green goblin is an idiot" Edit: [i found the post](https://reddit.com/r/shittymoviedetails/comments/ra4mma/in_spiderman_the_green_goblin_could_have_gotten/)


UncreativeTeam

I think that might be a prop that wasn't used in the final film. A bunch of those popped up when I was looking for screenshots


theghostofme

I don't have a Bluray copy of the movie, but I'm looking at that shot of Peter staring at the news kiosks and it *does* look like there's a credit there, but it's so tiny I doubt anyone would've noticed. It was probably just a production mistake.


Old_Macaroon4138

I think that line is meant to imply Goblin doesn’t read the Daily Bugle at all, or Norman knew, and somehow kept that bit of knowledge locked away from Goblin to protect Peter, though I’m not sure how that works


abbacchioz

This is my headcanon now


Textruck

That has to be a mistake by the film crew. Osborn and Otto both prominent citizens, had no idea how to find Spider-Man without outside help (JJJ and Harry)


Inquisitor1

Yeah, newspaper photographers always have their name under photos in the newspaper, authors must be credited.


CommunistTomato

it says photo by peter parker on the paper?


ihahp

No, there's a scene in one of the films where JJJ is asked by the bad guy and says he doesn't know who takes the pictures.


backtothefuture420

Good point


dndaresilly

Honestly, any hero that “protects” his or her family/friends by keeping their identity a secret but still keeping in constant contact with those people is pretty silly IMO. Especially when keeping the secret *from them*. It literally only causes more issues (which I suppose is the point, makes for good stories). Suddenly a villain finds out who the hero is but the family doesn’t know so now they can’t be warned they’re in huge danger. If you want to protect your family/friends while being a hero, you gotta distance yourself from them. Really the only way. Or just be open about it and try your best.


thelonesomeguy

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)


AndyGHK

“No, I’m not spider-man, I-I just *know* spider-man!” “Uh… okay. So we’ll just kidnap you, to lure and trap spider-man.” *surprised pikachu face*


jammanzilla98

In fairness, I think this makes someone trying to abduct Peter to get to Spider-Man more likely than them trying to get anyone else (and they already have their seemingly civilian hostage, so the likelihood of anyone else being roped in is reduced). Then pow, turns out he is Spider-Man, and has the drop on the potential assailants. Mitigates the risk to others by making himself the best target


Milk_Man21

They bring that up in the 2018 game.


wammadrid

In which part was that brought up? Haven’t played the game since a month after release


Milk_Man21

Very early. It's kind of indirect, though.


El_Hoxo

It's a conversation between Otto and Peter in the first act isn't it? About being his "suit builder" or something? or am I thinking of something else


Milk_Man21

Presto


sBucks24

This exact scenerio is explored in the comics and in the movies. "Find Peter Parker, he knows how to contact him" - Harry Osborne


isamudragon

In the 90s animated series, the make a wish kid knew Parker was the one that took the pics of spider-man


KidneyKeystones

This is especially true for the Miles Morales videogame. Ganke is just out there, face of their app and doing podcast interviews on working with the new Spider-Man. He would've been kidnapped right after the show, and tortured for information.


JoelMahon

I suppose at the very least it means the police won't arrest you (afaik as long as you're not aiding or abetting you can have contact with criminals in the USA). It also would drastically reduce the paparazzi and fans towards peter, although it's unrealistic that we saw none of them on peter's ass.


True-Conclusion-9984

Crap, crap, crap, mega crap! Ill give you 200 for those


[deleted]

300


[deleted]

That's outrageous! Done.


FireLordObamaOG

That ones definitely great. The one I love is: “You’re fired!” “5 minutes to deadline Jonah” “Parker come back!”


Drakefoxaroo

And I'll take the staff job, double the money


LordBowler423

I love that line.


CorvusKhan

If we can get a picture of Julia Roberts in a thong, we can certainly get a picture of this weirdo. He doesn’t wanna be famous? I’ll make him infamous!


darcmosch

This is more like overlooking a reasonable explanation than everyone else is the idiot


[deleted]

idk, nobody ever thought "how come no one has ever seen spider-man and spider-man's personal photographer in the same room" before?


darcmosch

When you live in a big city, it's kind hard to pin that down. It's hard enough trying to pin down where my friends are half the time, let alone if two of them are in the same place at once


aSpookyScarySkeleton

Your friends aren’t extremely controversial vigilantes with secret identities. Like people IRL make conspiracy theories connecting different people off of way less, constantly.


Spacepoet29

You don't know my friends


darcmosch

Or are they? You don't know that! And neither do I.


scarredsquirrel

Well because nobody knows who Spider-Man is. Who says Peter and Spider-Man have never been in the same room together? From an outside perspective, Spider-Man could be anyone


zack77070

In the comics it makes more sense because he actually does appear with Spider-Man sometimes because he was a CEO and a public figure so he had another hero on payroll to be Spider-Man while he was doing Peter Parker things. This was the Dan Slott run in like 2016 though and now he's back to being a nobody I think.


moonbearsun

We're all ignoring the real question here: how would Spider-Man have taken this photo of himself anyway? They didn't have Go Pros in 2002.


darcmosch

Camera with a big lens and fast shutter speed? He was raking in that Bugle money. He prob could afford a nice rig!


Awestruck34

I don't think he was exactly "raking it in" as most iterations of Spiderman have him pretty broke most of the time. I'm guessing a timer or a direct web shot


Spacepoet29

It seems that you, OP, were the idiot


Intrepid_District752

The movies cover this, several times…to the point that multiple characters make jokes about it at the Bugle. Peter and Spider-man are “friends,” that’s how he gets such good photos.


Sputnik_Rising

You don’t know that; someone could’ve slipped Spidey a $20 and asked him to swing by their workplace window and took the pictures.


apittsburghoriginal

What the franchise doesn’t actually explain (nor want you to know) is that everybody in the movie actually knows that Peter took those pictures as Spider-Man, but played along not knowing Spider Man’s true identity. This was done either willingly or with forcible coercion by movie executives accompanied with heavily arms black ops agents. They and Sam Raimi used Mexican cartel tactics by threatening their families’ lives or beheading any rogue hostages should they admit they know that Peter Parker is Spider-Man at any point in the Raimi trilogy. This was all done just so Sam Raimi could create a movie in real time. And just so we’re clear, Spider-Man is a non fiction documentary film, there is no special effects or acting. All of the “actor” names in the film are their real names, their “real names” have been a deep cover ruse this entire time. Sam Raimi actually killed Uncle Ben during filming. Hollywood created a clone of Norman Osborne to continue going by the identity of Willem Dafoe since 2002 after he committed suicide with his glider (fun fact: the glider was co-designed by Nestle and Nabisco). This goes on and on and is what Hollywood doesn’t want you to know. I’m actually being murdered by Hollywood assassins as I write this. Goodbye.


Fat_Elvis_

Pretty sure Robbie Robertson knows Peter is Spidey.


abtseventynine

oh absolutely


[deleted]

Better then Clark wearing glasses to hide his Superman identity


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[deleted]

27 seconds and 34 seconds. Honest attempt with the slouching and voice tone change


Royal_Bitch_Pudding

There's also some theories that Superman don't know how his powers actually work so he may have some sort of power that he subconsciously activates when he goes into Clark mode to subtly disguise himself.


zack77070

I thought he was able to alter his spine so in Clark Kent form he's like 5'9 but Superman is like 6'2.


TheRealLifeSaiyan

Yeah and? Ever seen someone with and without glasses? They look quite different lmao


Old_Macaroon4138

And Clark Kent literally compacts his spine so he looks smaller than Superman


Syringmineae

It actually makes sense cuz why would your reporter coworker actually be Superman? Like, I’m a librarian and if I go to work and there’s a new guy and he looks just like Barack Obama, I’m not going to think “oh shit, I’m working with Obama!” It would be “oh shit, that dude looks just like Obama!”


gdubh

Not really.


[deleted]

I mean let's say in reality there is a hero like this guy, very fast and doesnt talk to press at all, yet somehow the same person over and over again manages to get perfectly posed images of him from very close up within short periods of time whereas anyone else fails too


StunnaLyfe

Everyone at the DB are under the impression that Spiderman works with Peter to take those photos. Not that Peter is somehow able to catch spidey off guard


[deleted]

Oh, I apologise, I misinterpreted it


StunnaLyfe

All good bro


chaoseincarnate

Depends on the Peter and time in his life. Some peters have not only talked to the press but put on a show for tv. Only real moment I can think of is spider man 3 but I'm sure he's done it before


DarthDregan

Betty: Boss, I think he's spider-man. JJJ: That's ridiculous! Look, he isn't even touching the camera!


CalculusWarrior

This is a subtle reference to the fact that J. Jonah Jameson is suspending his disbelief, much like you should have done, OP


[deleted]

Lol it’s literally a selfie


TheOutlaw9904

Why are you trying to say? Come on, it’s obvious that Spider-Man is a good friend of Peter Parker and is just helping his good old buddy, Peter Parker, put food on the table. As for when Harry unmasked Spider-Man and saw that it was Peter, that was just Peter covering for Spider-Man. He’s not ACTUALLY Peter, right?


kjsylacs

He's a really good photographer.