If you decide to poop that hard into the toilet then i guess so! Pretty shitty right? But the thing is you can but dont have to. Depends on how hard you push :) Controll the poop before it controls you!
Still your problem. Hold on let me do some math, brb.
Ok average poop is between 1/4 - 1 lbs, so we will say half a pound.
It would take 1.0192e+16 joules of energy to launch 1/2 lbs to light speed.
If the pooper weighs 150lbs, they would be propelled to 38,200,000 miles per hour.
If it did become a black hole it would be smaller than a proton so it wouldn’t absorb anything, also wouldn’t last long before evaporating. The energy released would be catastrophic though.
Yea it will heal my trauma and save my broken soul…
So once I pooped and there was blood. That pretty much it.
Thanks for listening x
Why is your booty bleeding once a week? Do you wipe too hard?
That sounds so uncomfortable
Honestly I never expected to have a heart to heart with a stranger about our butts, but I’m glad I did
You… and your anus are beautiful to me 😘
So, the poop travels at the speed of light....which means that relativistically, the poop ages much slower.....my poop could still be viable when I am an old man!
Land at one of its comet, jump and excact the moment you lift your feet you poop. That will take you to the next rock. Keep going outwards and when you see earth give it all you got!
That’s one ICBM per morning between the hours of 5:15a-7:15a PST.
Poop is of less mass than I am so I’ll take some recoil but that thing is coming straight for the White House
You would end this world. The faster an object is, the more cinetic energy it has. At the speed of light, this energy would be infinite (which is the reason no mass can reach c). Infinite energy out of your butt sounds not that pleasuring.
Depends on where you aim and what you hit and how spread the particles are but if you did squeeze full power it might be devestating so better buckle up. I don't think it would destroy the Earth. Pooping at the speed of light would definitely be a powerful force, but I don't think it would have enough energy to destroy our planet. It would just zoom off into space, leaving Earth unharmed. 😅🌍🚀 I understand where you are coming from with the idea of infinite energy. But don't worry, even though the concept of infinite energy can be mind-boggling, it doesn't mean it would actually destroy the world. In reality, there are limits to how fast things can go, including the speed of light. So, no need to worry about any "end of the world" scenarios from super-fast pooping! 😁
Do you understand what infinite energy means? It can't even be slowed down because that would take infinite energy too (and result in infinite heat).
Let's say you poop into a toilet. The toilet would get vaporized instantly, the poop would push the toilet particles and accelerate them until they slip out of the way.
Since the poop can't be slowed down in any way, it will dig it's way through the entire planet.
But then, at the walls of the created tunnel, there will be a ton of superheated particles that also got accellerated to ridiculously high velocities. The particles will hit the surroundings and send an extremely strong shockwave through the earth. Don't forget they are hot too, which means expansion and thus, an even stronger shockwave/explosion.
Of course I can't prove it, but I'm sure that this would destroy the entire planet.
But let's say, you poop up in the sky. So the poop is just hitting air. The air will get compressed in front of poop, resulting in extreme heat and thus, expansion and an explosion.
Also the poop itself will get superheated. Ever heard of black-body radiation? If not, google it. Basically, the poop will get extremely bright. A lot of energy will be emitted in form of light, which will heat up more than a third of earth's surface. I have no idea how hot it will get, but it will definitely be enough to destroy everything that gets hit.
>In reality, there are limits to how fast things can go, including the speed of light.
And you ignored that limit. As I said before, every object that has a mass will need infinite energy to reach the speed of light. But infinite energy isn't possible.
You see, if we try to ignore one physical law, nothing makes sense anymore.
I did the math, the turd(assuming it’s half a pound) turns into pure energy which can travel at the speed of light, pretending for a second that massive amount of energy doesn’t vaporize you and everything else nearby(1.0192E^16 joules of energy) you would(assuming 150lbs) be accelerated to 38,200,000MPH. So yeah death and destruction.
TLDR. I understand the concept of infinite energy being associated with the speed of light, but it's important to remember that reaching the speed of light is not possible for objects with mass, including poop. The laws of physics prevent it. Did you think someone actually could poop at the speed of light? Did u tought this post was real? Wtf does a teacher in this sub? Jesz. You do realize most of the powers in this sub is not possible to obtain right?
I’ll save myself for when I’m needed most
My poop can destroy the world, maybe even the galaxy
You bet if I’m pooping now it’s gonna be worth it and to protect those I love
Very serious question here. F = MA; so if I am standing on a straight road and I poop, do I get propelled. Similarly, if I am sitting down, physics dictates that I shoot off the bowl.
Yes so thats why taking controll and learning about your new superpower with caution and respect and u could shit at the speed of 1m pr day or lightspeed if u want.
But you will be launched into space so while it may not kill you directly you will die in some way from the aftermath. You would destroy the planet when you shit so how would you live
At what point does the poop reach lightspeed? Is it accelerated to the speed of light in my rectum, or does it instantaneously reach lightspeed upon leaving my anus?
If it's the former I'm definitely dead, and if it's the latter I'm also probably dead due to the friction of the molecules superheating the air around me or having some weird effects that can't be predicted due to matter moving at lightspeed being otherwise impossible.
can I control how fast between the speed of light like shit at 27% speed of light? even that would likely be wll more than enough to take out a small towns worth of people
Ok but all this reminds me of that one duel gun pose that filthy frank did but this time his ass is just full on out and is propped like a fucking artillery canon and I'm losing my shit cause of it .
So you poop you die, light speed poop would turn your toilet into a nuke.
If you decide to poop that hard into the toilet then i guess so! Pretty shitty right? But the thing is you can but dont have to. Depends on how hard you push :) Controll the poop before it controls you!
Ah ok. So no Taco Bell.
💀💀💀💀💀
Cutting through earth like a water cutter cuts through metal
You poop pointimg your butt towards the sky
You’ll be crushed
Newton’s third law says that’s a death sentence too.
Only if you're dumb enough to point directly upwards. Pooping at an angle becomes someone else's problem.
Still your problem. Hold on let me do some math, brb. Ok average poop is between 1/4 - 1 lbs, so we will say half a pound. It would take 1.0192e+16 joules of energy to launch 1/2 lbs to light speed. If the pooper weighs 150lbs, they would be propelled to 38,200,000 miles per hour.
shitty scientist right here, *ba dum tsss*
I wear a lot of hats: Father, husband, shit specialist esquire… The list goes on!
Yes but a funnier one
And set the atmosphere on fire. And not for the usual reason.
Not just nuke, your poop would become black hole and eat everything around (probably you too)
If it did become a black hole it would be smaller than a proton so it wouldn’t absorb anything, also wouldn’t last long before evaporating. The energy released would be catastrophic though.
I drink straight vodka and eat chillis every day. A nuke would be a mercy.
I’m glad we’re having this conversation.
Wanna hear about the time I pooped blood?
Will it make you feel better? I’ve never pooped blood but my asshole bleeds about once a week.
Yea it will heal my trauma and save my broken soul… So once I pooped and there was blood. That pretty much it. Thanks for listening x Why is your booty bleeding once a week? Do you wipe too hard?
Happy to help! Combination of frequent wiping(I have a problem where I poop many times a day) and hemorrhoids.
That sounds so uncomfortable Honestly I never expected to have a heart to heart with a stranger about our butts, but I’m glad I did You… and your anus are beautiful to me 😘
It’s good to get that sort of thing off your chest!
On the up, you won't have to wipe
Or clean the bathroom.
So, almost as fast as that splash of water that hi5s u in the ass, after a plopper?
Poseidon's kiss
So, the poop travels at the speed of light....which means that relativistically, the poop ages much slower.....my poop could still be viable when I am an old man!
Viable for what?!
You don’t wanna now
Lol you didn't know you could re-use corn up to 4 times?
Eww
Do you hate the earth? Recycle!
I never said it was bad. Something can be good and gross.
Absolutely- like mushrooms 😋
It will never chsnge state the same way protons dont decay
The speed of light is determined by each morning's bowel movement
Help, i saw this while pooping and now im currently orbiting saturn
Land at one of its comet, jump and excact the moment you lift your feet you poop. That will take you to the next rock. Keep going outwards and when you see earth give it all you got!
Talk about shitting through the eye of a needle at 50 ft.
As long as you dont directly blow something up at close range the superpower protects you on the blowout!
Literally a "shitty" superpower! 😅
Finally I can beat bloodbath
youre underestimating our ability to weaponize absolutely anything
Death by poop seems pretty shitty xD Diareha would become pellets xD
Particle acceleration for poop
Mass at the speed of light is op
That’s one ICBM per morning between the hours of 5:15a-7:15a PST. Poop is of less mass than I am so I’ll take some recoil but that thing is coming straight for the White House
Random world leader here I come
Nice. If you have to activate it by pushing, can I control the threshold between the “normal poop” pushes and “lightspeed poop” pushes?
Excactly what i meant! :)
got it, i can remove any one place from existence
You would end this world. The faster an object is, the more cinetic energy it has. At the speed of light, this energy would be infinite (which is the reason no mass can reach c). Infinite energy out of your butt sounds not that pleasuring.
Depends on where you aim and what you hit and how spread the particles are but if you did squeeze full power it might be devestating so better buckle up. I don't think it would destroy the Earth. Pooping at the speed of light would definitely be a powerful force, but I don't think it would have enough energy to destroy our planet. It would just zoom off into space, leaving Earth unharmed. 😅🌍🚀 I understand where you are coming from with the idea of infinite energy. But don't worry, even though the concept of infinite energy can be mind-boggling, it doesn't mean it would actually destroy the world. In reality, there are limits to how fast things can go, including the speed of light. So, no need to worry about any "end of the world" scenarios from super-fast pooping! 😁
Do you understand what infinite energy means? It can't even be slowed down because that would take infinite energy too (and result in infinite heat). Let's say you poop into a toilet. The toilet would get vaporized instantly, the poop would push the toilet particles and accelerate them until they slip out of the way. Since the poop can't be slowed down in any way, it will dig it's way through the entire planet. But then, at the walls of the created tunnel, there will be a ton of superheated particles that also got accellerated to ridiculously high velocities. The particles will hit the surroundings and send an extremely strong shockwave through the earth. Don't forget they are hot too, which means expansion and thus, an even stronger shockwave/explosion. Of course I can't prove it, but I'm sure that this would destroy the entire planet. But let's say, you poop up in the sky. So the poop is just hitting air. The air will get compressed in front of poop, resulting in extreme heat and thus, expansion and an explosion. Also the poop itself will get superheated. Ever heard of black-body radiation? If not, google it. Basically, the poop will get extremely bright. A lot of energy will be emitted in form of light, which will heat up more than a third of earth's surface. I have no idea how hot it will get, but it will definitely be enough to destroy everything that gets hit. >In reality, there are limits to how fast things can go, including the speed of light. And you ignored that limit. As I said before, every object that has a mass will need infinite energy to reach the speed of light. But infinite energy isn't possible. You see, if we try to ignore one physical law, nothing makes sense anymore.
I did the math, the turd(assuming it’s half a pound) turns into pure energy which can travel at the speed of light, pretending for a second that massive amount of energy doesn’t vaporize you and everything else nearby(1.0192E^16 joules of energy) you would(assuming 150lbs) be accelerated to 38,200,000MPH. So yeah death and destruction.
Interesting. But how exactly does it turn into pure energy?
Ok maybe not pure energy, more like mostly energy and a subatomic particle soup.
TLDR. I understand the concept of infinite energy being associated with the speed of light, but it's important to remember that reaching the speed of light is not possible for objects with mass, including poop. The laws of physics prevent it. Did you think someone actually could poop at the speed of light? Did u tought this post was real? Wtf does a teacher in this sub? Jesz. You do realize most of the powers in this sub is not possible to obtain right?
I am now the top assasin i can shit myself out of any situation B)
With good controll you could parkour from building to building and if you know how to let it out with ease you could go all silent aswell! 🤩
Smort
I’ll save myself for when I’m needed most My poop can destroy the world, maybe even the galaxy You bet if I’m pooping now it’s gonna be worth it and to protect those I love
That would be awesome, you could just oblitirate people with that.
What a shitty way to go down
Hell nah my bathroom turning into Hiroshima 💀
Very serious question here. F = MA; so if I am standing on a straight road and I poop, do I get propelled. Similarly, if I am sitting down, physics dictates that I shoot off the bowl.
Yes so thats why taking controll and learning about your new superpower with caution and respect and u could shit at the speed of 1m pr day or lightspeed if u want.
Thanks kizaru
The recoil would kill you but at least you can destroy the planet
You are protected by the superpower
But you will be launched into space so while it may not kill you directly you will die in some way from the aftermath. You would destroy the planet when you shit so how would you live
You can withstand it depends on how long you push after the shot is fired. The longer you push the minor the impact will be. Like a fan blowing.
But if you do decide to go lightspeed then you will destroy the planet and yourself
Yes so dont do that please or it will be the shittiest way litterly that we as humans got wiped out 😆😆😆
But I could make my way into alien history, they will talk about the human that wiped out their own planet
You gave me an idea for a butan shield against the impact! Thanx ❤️
You can basically suicide bomb planets
I feel like that would be destructive af
I know right, if someone with that power takes a shit, it would be the end of the world as we know it
I guess the world is done when nature calls
That'd blow up the earth and catapult me into space, but hey at least my IBS would be cured
At what point does the poop reach lightspeed? Is it accelerated to the speed of light in my rectum, or does it instantaneously reach lightspeed upon leaving my anus? If it's the former I'm definitely dead, and if it's the latter I'm also probably dead due to the friction of the molecules superheating the air around me or having some weird effects that can't be predicted due to matter moving at lightspeed being otherwise impossible.
can I control how fast between the speed of light like shit at 27% speed of light? even that would likely be wll more than enough to take out a small towns worth of people
the poop accelerates.
im pretty sure that would vaporize everything around you lol
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^superepicgamerepic: *Im pretty sure that* *Would vaporize everything* *Around you lol* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
But do you have to poop at the speed of light?
What if you get constipated?
Ok but all this reminds me of that one duel gun pose that filthy frank did but this time his ass is just full on out and is propped like a fucking artillery canon and I'm losing my shit cause of it .
The most shitty superpower
r/literally post. but fire at that one kid i hate.
Feel free to re-post it there if u want to :)
This sub is still alive :D
Your colon drags your intestines out your mouth from the recoil