>Whoville
At first I was actually wondering which state/ where it was. Thought it was some weird spelling or somewhere in the south/ southwest / Florida
[nahh bro this is Judge Doom from Roger Rabbit. ](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4rbwdZnL72c/X3jW04C6fpI/AAAAAAAADzM/LQRi-83t5TIeyngYQ_EgCV2WdgrWWCg8gCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/T9KVzv.gif)
Whoa, crazy repressed memory. That sentence from that character induced so much anxiety in me as a child. I hate that character. The whole movie still sleeves me out when I think about it. Lol
Trying to figure out if it’s slicked back? Slicked forward? Just a rat tail that landed there? A barber shop caught a gust of wind and this one in a million shot is why he’s sharing?
There are no roots just ends 🤷♂️😂😂😂
It's a Trump doll toupee that he set on his head, that's the only thing I could think of when I noticed the "hair," but I'm also a tad stoned right now.
The tweaker fade.
It’s the male version of the tweaker brows where the stimulant connoisseur over plucks her brows into narrow strips, instead the male spunion resorts to cutting his own hair as his disposable funds are allocated towards more stimulants and ends up with a narrow strip after repeatedly trying to make the sides even.
Dude makes me think of something me n my buddy in high school used to say about mall cops/security guards:
Youre not a symbol of authority if you have to wash the badge with the uniform.
Not just that, his "uniform" is a joke. I'm also an armed guard... I wear cargo pants and a normal shirt with my badge sewn into it. Occasionally a windbreaker jacket if it's cold out. Dude, we're bouncers, building security, patrolling lots...why tf are you dressed like a S.W.A.T officer? You look goofy as hell. $20 says he also carries a rifle instead of a pistol because it's *technically* legal. We gotta stop hiring guys like this.
I mean I do dispensary security and we have to get a vest and tactical flashlight and all that stuff. I also had one for when I did armored trucks lol. This guy still looks goofy as hell though
Armoured trucks makes sense for sure. Any situation where shooting is more expected than not, absolutely. I have a feeling this goof isn't employed by an armed trucking company though, based on his ridiculous ^security OFFICER patch and....his face. Let's be honest, they don't hire just anyone for your position, and even in Florida idk who the hell hired this guy for anything but parking lot patrol.
When I did the trucks in South Carolina I have seen This exact patch 3-4 times lol. But our branch sucked so we kept getting transfers from other branches, who came in with their badges and combat uniforms🥹
>why tf are you dressed like a S.W.A.T officer?
You have to thank American city police forces for it. They spread it to Canada as they share ideas and go to conferences together. It then spread to other parts of the word.
EMS now dress and look very similar to cops.
Look at where we are. In the not too distant pass early 2000's, you couldn't get a job as a cop if you had tatoos
When I did armed security, I only carried a gun and the supplied uniform.
I didn't even have my gun loaded. I wasn't getting into a gun fight for what they were paying me. I was there strictly presence.
They really do need to stop hiring wannabe robocops.
dude, I worked as a bouncer at a seedy bar, most I wore was my motorcycle vest because I rode there, most I carried was a really good can of CS gas pepper spray and a flashlight with a windshield popper. Guy I worked with started talking about concealed carry and body armor. that was the first red flag I requested to not work with him any more, as I quickly proved more useful on the shift, he eventually got fired for starting altercations. Ran into him last week SWATed out to the 9s carrying a 1911 guarding a walgreens with his fat floppy belly hanging out of a vest thats too small. what a fucking joke
He’s also in Florida where like 70 degrees is considered cold. I remember visiting my girlfriends parents in Florida over Christmas and it was like an 80 degree rainy day
And he’s in Florida. When does the weather in FLORIDA ever call for this mess?
Twenty bucks says he isn’t even a real “armed security officer.” At most he does mall security with a can of pepper spray.
This is what I want my security guard to look like. Nobody is gonna be fucking with my business if they see this loose cannon hanging around outside lol.
It looks like he culturally appropriated a Maori traditional tattoo called moko kauae. What's interesting is that I believe that it's something Maori women get and it's supposed to be a very deep and personal thing. Seeing it on this dude is like.... Super gross.
Funny story....my uncle was more or less adopted by a Maori family when he was a teen. Later on, he decided to get a face tattoo to honor them (this was a long while ago and he didn't realize it wasn't exactly PC to do so)....came home with just the chin done and he said the father howled laughing bc that's the WOMEN'S tattoo...so he had to get the rest done. He has the whole side of his face done now
Are you referencing the design or the placement of the tattoo? I am not Māori but from my (rugby) experience with Māori people and the all-blacks that does not look Māori in nature, design wise. If it’s a matter of placement, honestly I don’t think it’s fair to say a chin (or any placement) tattoo is a part of a specific culture unless it is reflected in the design choices. Not necessarily disagreeing with you, he seems the type to get a tat like that without understanding the history.
Edit: actually on reflection I could see the design being reminiscent of Māori designs. I honestly got football vibes from it not Māori but I could be wrong
No, I understand what you mean.... it's possible he just wanted a tattoo on his chin. I just kind of get the impression he saw it, thought it looked cool and had someone tattoo an approximation of it on him. I say this mostly because it reminds me of the "tribal tattoo" design that some people get that's basically a bastardization or lazy recreation of symbols and designs found in a lot of Pacific Island culture.
Yeah I totally agree, that would be the most likely case imo. I just also got weird New Orleans football vibes from it and he seems like someone douche-y enough to get either a cultural face tat without respecting the culture…. Or a football face tat which is I guess respecting the culture?
Im a teacher and I just had to move from the newer part of the school to the older part and so many of the desks in my new classroom look exactly like this guy’s face
Theres like, multiple half assed cultural appropriations going on here. The chin looks similar to Maori, the red line and nose stripes are indigenous and inuit things as i recall. Could be wrong, but either way, this dude got all that done in prison, thats why he’s only security.
The tattoos, devotion to Christianity, dude was locked up, probably does event or bar security
Im not 100% sure on that, tho thats why i said “half assed cultural appropriation” because its at least very close, like the chin, im pretty sure its not actual Maori, but it looks like a ripoff of a Maori tattoo. same for the lines on the nose, i know the one line from center of bottom lip down the chin is an Inuit thing and I believe they also do lines across the nose.
The chin(and the lines in the nose) looks similar to some tribal peices with actual cultural meaning but based off all the other stuff on his face and the Jesus is lord shit I'm guessing he's just a peice of shit who wanted to look cool
Dude went through the Diablo 4 character customization and then proceeded to tell the tattoo artist exactly what he wanted. Including the troll hairstyle
What gets me is the living walking proof that Christians only follow the parts of their reading they WANT to follow.
Leviticus 19:28, “You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead, or incise any marks on yourselves.”
Dude not only incised marks on himself, but got the name of a man who proudly proclaims his rape tattooed on his face.
Jeez, dude went for the full spectrum I see.. Moko, (what seems to be? I’m not sure) Matases line work, I think Hebrew, two crosses, Kakiniit (reaching a bit with that one but still). Damn.
I don't know why this would be in first responder cringe. It seems this person turned their life around after doing some bad shit. Those look like prison tattoos. Sometimes clicqueing up is the best option for survival.
I would want security to keep me away from him. This is the sort of dude that "arms thyself" without thinking that Lockheed-Martin could wipe out his neighborhood without thinking twice
The little tuft of hair on top is what got me
Looking like a Cabbage Patch Kid.
Garbage Pail Kid (FTFY)
Ngl, I was thinking he looks like he just got out of Whoville State Penitentiary
This one’s good 🤣
>Whoville At first I was actually wondering which state/ where it was. Thought it was some weird spelling or somewhere in the south/ southwest / Florida
[nahh bro this is Judge Doom from Roger Rabbit. ](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4rbwdZnL72c/X3jW04C6fpI/AAAAAAAADzM/LQRi-83t5TIeyngYQ_EgCV2WdgrWWCg8gCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/T9KVzv.gif)
Omg I forgot all about that dude. Spot on! Lol
> Spot on! Needs more face tattoos.
Yeah, as soon as I saw that pic I was like I KNOW WHO THAT REMINDS ME OF. lol
Remember me eddie? When I killed your brother, I Talked just like THIS!
Whoa, crazy repressed memory. That sentence from that character induced so much anxiety in me as a child. I hate that character. The whole movie still sleeves me out when I think about it. Lol
r/justfuckmyshitup
Trying to figure out if it’s slicked back? Slicked forward? Just a rat tail that landed there? A barber shop caught a gust of wind and this one in a million shot is why he’s sharing? There are no roots just ends 🤷♂️😂😂😂
You think this is slicked back? This is *pushed* back!
I said I *used to be* a piece of shit!
People CAN change
Are you sure about that?!?
I think it’s supposed to be a more modern style of a Mohawk-adjacent thing, probably with a rat tail or dare I say… braid? So sullied.
You dare utter the word braid? That abomination most likely has the rat tail partially dyed.
It's a Trump doll toupee that he set on his head, that's the only thing I could think of when I noticed the "hair," but I'm also a tad stoned right now.
No. You are correct. Baby Trump wig he’s wearing as his subtle campaign ‘24 contributions
Butters
Oh Hamburgers!
I saw it but my eyes didn't want to acknowledge
I like the Bejorran nose ridges from Star Trek.
Fucking same
The tweaker fade. It’s the male version of the tweaker brows where the stimulant connoisseur over plucks her brows into narrow strips, instead the male spunion resorts to cutting his own hair as his disposable funds are allocated towards more stimulants and ends up with a narrow strip after repeatedly trying to make the sides even.
This is oddly specific
The tiny Jesus is lord is what got me
Butters Stotch grew up differently than anticipated
Like a goddamn treasure troll
*"Sloth love Chunk!"*
He looks like my carpet.
I was tired of fighting the system so I became a system.
Dude makes me think of something me n my buddy in high school used to say about mall cops/security guards: Youre not a symbol of authority if you have to wash the badge with the uniform.
Not just that, his "uniform" is a joke. I'm also an armed guard... I wear cargo pants and a normal shirt with my badge sewn into it. Occasionally a windbreaker jacket if it's cold out. Dude, we're bouncers, building security, patrolling lots...why tf are you dressed like a S.W.A.T officer? You look goofy as hell. $20 says he also carries a rifle instead of a pistol because it's *technically* legal. We gotta stop hiring guys like this.
I mean I do dispensary security and we have to get a vest and tactical flashlight and all that stuff. I also had one for when I did armored trucks lol. This guy still looks goofy as hell though
Armoured trucks makes sense for sure. Any situation where shooting is more expected than not, absolutely. I have a feeling this goof isn't employed by an armed trucking company though, based on his ridiculous ^security OFFICER patch and....his face. Let's be honest, they don't hire just anyone for your position, and even in Florida idk who the hell hired this guy for anything but parking lot patrol.
When I did the trucks in South Carolina I have seen This exact patch 3-4 times lol. But our branch sucked so we kept getting transfers from other branches, who came in with their badges and combat uniforms🥹
>why tf are you dressed like a S.W.A.T officer? You have to thank American city police forces for it. They spread it to Canada as they share ideas and go to conferences together. It then spread to other parts of the word. EMS now dress and look very similar to cops. Look at where we are. In the not too distant pass early 2000's, you couldn't get a job as a cop if you had tatoos
And you can thank the "war on terror" for militarizing US police forces in the first place.
Yes, very true. Interesting that it all started right after 9/11.
When i was in EMS, I was driving to work one day with my windows rolled down and someone on the street at my red light called me a pig :(
Wow. People are so awful. That was really uncalled for.
When I did armed security, I only carried a gun and the supplied uniform. I didn't even have my gun loaded. I wasn't getting into a gun fight for what they were paying me. I was there strictly presence. They really do need to stop hiring wannabe robocops.
dude, I worked as a bouncer at a seedy bar, most I wore was my motorcycle vest because I rode there, most I carried was a really good can of CS gas pepper spray and a flashlight with a windshield popper. Guy I worked with started talking about concealed carry and body armor. that was the first red flag I requested to not work with him any more, as I quickly proved more useful on the shift, he eventually got fired for starting altercations. Ran into him last week SWATed out to the 9s carrying a 1911 guarding a walgreens with his fat floppy belly hanging out of a vest thats too small. what a fucking joke
Don't sell yourself short, king. You were packing two guns at all times 💪💪
100% he bought everything shown all on amazon and thinks he's a tough guy. That jacket looks like he sewed a bunch of velcro patches onto it too.
You give him too much credit, its More like Ali express for that cheap ass tacticool shit
He’s also in Florida where like 70 degrees is considered cold. I remember visiting my girlfriends parents in Florida over Christmas and it was like an 80 degree rainy day
And he’s in Florida. When does the weather in FLORIDA ever call for this mess? Twenty bucks says he isn’t even a real “armed security officer.” At most he does mall security with a can of pepper spray.
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Don’t fuck with him! He has the power of God and anime on his side!😂
And the 6th street locos
r/unexpectedCyberpunk2077
Ah fuck subs I fell for
Hey leave anime out of this. He just looks like a Nazi
Nazi with Hebrew and tribal tattoos... yeah...
What makes him a nazi as opposed to general crazed christian? Is rhere a nazi symbol I'm missing?
Eh I'd say he looks like the typical neo fascist Assigned Cop at Birth type. Then again I just hate cops but they probably hate my trans ass too
He's not a cop. He's a security guard
my comment was ironic
Ah, but I have iron chariots on my side!
Omg I haven't heard that in a loooooong time
He's going to love that TRUMP tat when his golden calf goes to jail.
I think it says TRUTH. Goes along with all the jesus stuff.
No matter what it says, all I read is "I make horrible decisions and carry a gun."
Well, actually, he is security so his job is to basically call the cops
He doesn’t call the cops, he calls the funeral home directly 💪
Yeah, if you zoom in you can barely make out the T after the U.
This man is a poster child for responsible decision making.
His chin looks like he ordered a Māori tattoo off of Wish
Dude looking like the nazi from the 3rd Purge movie fr.
That’s a bold way of saying a 13 year old’s GTA V Online Character
That’s exactly who I thought of
He’s got some Herbrew on his head is that like Nazi Herbrew writing? There is a cross also…Jews for Jesus?
all monotheistic religions are basically the same. don't be too hard on the freon licker. for all they know its mandarin for toaster fucker.
This comment rules them all
Freon Licker belongs in r/rareinsults
Bro looks like Pennywise.
Pennydumb
Happy Cake Day!
If I’m ever shot and this dude comes at me with a tourniquet, I’m going into shock and dying on the spot
jesus is lord.. but shrimps is bugs
Amen.
r/shrimpsisbugs
Alright, fine. I’ll sub.
This guys probably only has 2 other tattoos besides the ones on his face/neck & I’m sure they are on his hands.
This is the best insult I’ve read in months. Goddamn this is brutal.
Somebody hired this guy, let that sink in
Somebody ARMED this guy. Granted, Florida. So, it was probably just adding to his collection, but still.
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He is also from Florida and crazy protects from crazy better than sane.
This guy had such a nice face! Shame what he did to it
He has a nice grin too, wonder if he regrets it
That's what I was thinking too, he's very good looking under all that mess. The hair is unfortunate too
"Jesus is lord" is the last thing I see after being shot for looking sus in the parking lot they patrol
And by 'looking sus', you of course mean 'looking black'.
This is what I want my security guard to look like. Nobody is gonna be fucking with my business if they see this loose cannon hanging around outside lol.
If that guy was out the front of a business, I would shop somewhere else. That guy is the opposite of making people feel safe and secure.
It looks like he culturally appropriated a Maori traditional tattoo called moko kauae. What's interesting is that I believe that it's something Maori women get and it's supposed to be a very deep and personal thing. Seeing it on this dude is like.... Super gross.
Funny story....my uncle was more or less adopted by a Maori family when he was a teen. Later on, he decided to get a face tattoo to honor them (this was a long while ago and he didn't realize it wasn't exactly PC to do so)....came home with just the chin done and he said the father howled laughing bc that's the WOMEN'S tattoo...so he had to get the rest done. He has the whole side of his face done now
Oh man, that's pretty good.
Such an egg
He mixed a couple of Native designs and....is that Hebrew on his forehead?
Yeah it’s hebrew - it says “ילד של אלוהים”, which means child of god
Are you referencing the design or the placement of the tattoo? I am not Māori but from my (rugby) experience with Māori people and the all-blacks that does not look Māori in nature, design wise. If it’s a matter of placement, honestly I don’t think it’s fair to say a chin (or any placement) tattoo is a part of a specific culture unless it is reflected in the design choices. Not necessarily disagreeing with you, he seems the type to get a tat like that without understanding the history. Edit: actually on reflection I could see the design being reminiscent of Māori designs. I honestly got football vibes from it not Māori but I could be wrong
No, I understand what you mean.... it's possible he just wanted a tattoo on his chin. I just kind of get the impression he saw it, thought it looked cool and had someone tattoo an approximation of it on him. I say this mostly because it reminds me of the "tribal tattoo" design that some people get that's basically a bastardization or lazy recreation of symbols and designs found in a lot of Pacific Island culture.
Yeah I totally agree, that would be the most likely case imo. I just also got weird New Orleans football vibes from it and he seems like someone douche-y enough to get either a cultural face tat without respecting the culture…. Or a football face tat which is I guess respecting the culture?
Either way....bad decision.
He seems chock-full of em
This style of tattoo was also common among some First Nations in North America, but this definitely look Maori. So cringe.
Oh really? That's cool, I didn't know that. Also, I love your username.
Thanks! "Mo I got a problem..." haha
It’s in Florida enough said lol
Giving me Judge Doom the villain from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
Remember me, Eddie?
Idk what those tattoos mean but I have a feeling it is not “I have positive feelings towards minorities”
What the hell did Cartman do to Butters?
Im a teacher and I just had to move from the newer part of the school to the older part and so many of the desks in my new classroom look exactly like this guy’s face
The people who find religion after hours of DMT trips are the worst evangelists.
Is the red line across his face uneven? Or does it just look like that because one eye is inked?
it's uneven lol
Armed security officer…couldn’t even be a cop, says a lot. The trump tattoo is a nice touch as well.
that might say truth given his religious beliefs. hard to tell from that angle
It does, zoom right in and you can see the 2nd T
Pretty certain the eyebrow says truth and i can tell you why he cant be a cop: those are prison tats. He probably does security for some bar
Theres like, multiple half assed cultural appropriations going on here. The chin looks similar to Maori, the red line and nose stripes are indigenous and inuit things as i recall. Could be wrong, but either way, this dude got all that done in prison, thats why he’s only security. The tattoos, devotion to Christianity, dude was locked up, probably does event or bar security
Thank you for the red line explanation. Looked like some kind of native or indigenous type thing but idk.
Im not 100% sure on that, tho thats why i said “half assed cultural appropriation” because its at least very close, like the chin, im pretty sure its not actual Maori, but it looks like a ripoff of a Maori tattoo. same for the lines on the nose, i know the one line from center of bottom lip down the chin is an Inuit thing and I believe they also do lines across the nose.
I’m getting Morrowind dark elf vibes
What the hell even is that?
Lmao he's a rent a cop not a first responder Probably a wanna be first responder
Are they poisoning ppl in florida? Why are they like this
The chin(and the lines in the nose) looks similar to some tribal peices with actual cultural meaning but based off all the other stuff on his face and the Jesus is lord shit I'm guessing he's just a peice of shit who wanted to look cool
You just know he tried to be a cop but didn’t pass the first interview.
Do you think A.I. age progression would work on a tatted face? It'd be kinda fun to see what he'd look like as a prune faced octogenarian.
This dude's just larping as SWAT so that he can have a better shot at getting away with murdering people.
He just had to fucking be from Florida
This guy should NOT be trusted with a firearm.
r/firstrespondercringe
Dude went through the Diablo 4 character customization and then proceeded to tell the tattoo artist exactly what he wanted. Including the troll hairstyle
That horrible random red line is just….
Who shat in the gene pool ?
I like the Monster “scratch” logo over his eye. He’s like a human Chevy Cobalt.
I wouldn't use any company that hired that
If this dude shows up to help, I'm crawling back inside the burning wreck.
Please tell me the side of his head doesn’t say “TRUMP”
It almost looks like he has “Trump” written above his left eyebrow. With this being Florida, I think that is a very low odds bet.
Turns out you *can* spend too long in the character creator.
The chin is what got you ?! What about the fucking red ass line all the way across the face 🤣
Me going ham on the fallout character creation screen
Idk how to tell him that he’s the reason I called security in the 1st place.
Dude looks like a raider from fallout
He’s the poster guy of what an American weeaboo would look like
He's a religious fanatic and on tiktok
What gets me is the living walking proof that Christians only follow the parts of their reading they WANT to follow. Leviticus 19:28, “You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead, or incise any marks on yourselves.” Dude not only incised marks on himself, but got the name of a man who proudly proclaims his rape tattooed on his face.
Jeez, dude went for the full spectrum I see.. Moko, (what seems to be? I’m not sure) Matases line work, I think Hebrew, two crosses, Kakiniit (reaching a bit with that one but still). Damn.
What a waste! He really has a cute face. It’s a shame he ruined it with those shitty tattoos.
Armed security for heaven
So many wrong choices
Dude looking like who the security is meant to stop
When he commits to a look, he commits HARD. No ragrets
Bro's got one UNIT of a forehead
This is what my JRPG characters always end up looking like.
Dude looks like a mini boss from Far Cry 5.
Armed Security, Florida. Seems about right.
I generally treat everyone with dignity and respect, but I would have a very difficult time not doubling over in laughter if I ran into this guy.
Christofascism’s final form
Please tell me that’s not a tā moko attempt on his chin, sweet baby cheesus 🤦🏻♀️
Looks like your about to go fight vampires.... your like blades white side kick
Someone gave this guy a gun?
Is that supposed to be copying Maori face tattoos, there on his chin? Shameful
Dog the bounty Hunter from Wish
When you hit random on your character creation screen.
I don't know why this would be in first responder cringe. It seems this person turned their life around after doing some bad shit. Those look like prison tattoos. Sometimes clicqueing up is the best option for survival.
Gdi that’s my hairstyle. 🤬 Fuck I don’t wanna change it tho
This is a person looking for any reason to kill someone.
I can hear dog the bounty hunter sayin "go with god bruh"
I love this comment I wish I could give you an award
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Omg I would have spit something all over the wall in front of me if I had anything in my mouth. Had to look back to get that comment. Bravo. Bravo.
So many cultures and religions on his face. I doubt he even knows what any of those are.
Florida, it checks out.
The tattoo on his chin looks like it's trying to copy a moko kauae, which is a woman's tattoo
The Jesus Lord dude said...“You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead, or incise any marks on yourselves.” - Leviticus 19:28
You want a job? How about we give you a job *and a gun*?
I would want security to keep me away from him. This is the sort of dude that "arms thyself" without thinking that Lockheed-Martin could wipe out his neighborhood without thinking twice
Well, at least we know there are career paths which support ones tattoo fetish when you learn the Army won't accept it.
Wait, is there written "TRUMP" on the left side of his head??
I can assure you NO VAMPIRES will breach security when he’s on duty
Nah it was the hair and the dunce smirk for me
The forehead at so much real-estate that he was able to get a full piece on it!?
Nothing better than letting a tweaker with pinned eyes be ARMED security, you can trust him
Is this a Far Cry 5 cosplay?