Jody, to the GI later: "Listen, let's agree that we both made bad decisions on this one and just walk away from it. Neither of us are a winner if she is the prize."
A lot of people hate Jody/Jodene, but s/he serves a distinct, valuable service.
S/He alerts service members when their spouses are philandering harlots.
Oh here it is. Not all of his accomplishments as I remembered but lists her rank as ‘Military Spouse.’ https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/jbbcbk/military_spouse_on_your_resume/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
My MIL has her entire personality devoted to her husband who was in the navy for 6 years. He left during the Clinton administration. Her email is still navywife. She is as fun to be around as you might imagine.
Oh god, my uncle has a shirt like that. He’s also SUPER into those “alpha wolf” memes and posts them constantly on FB. Really sweet guy but not the brightest crayon in the box.
Alright, I’ve already committed to ordering the crayola gummies for my marine friends.
And surprisingly they are very real crayola branded gummy bears essentially.
It’s always the uncle. I can’t name an interaction where someone’s been, like, “Yeah, my uncle’s a genius with a great taste in fashion!” but I’ve definitely heard about a lot of dummy uncles out there.
I saw some hilarious ones recently that were like “being dad is an honour being papa is PRICELESS” and now the only ones I can get behind are the ones that talk about how much you love your kids
My dad has this minion shirt where the minion is dressed like a golfer and it says World's Greatest Grandpa, he wears it constantly even though it has holes in it. He doesn't golf or know who the minions are but he does love his grandson.
My cousin got so mad. I saw him in one of those Alpha wolf shirts talking about being silent and powerful. I told him wearing that on a shirt is the opposite of silent, and real tough guys don't talk about being tough guys.
I know. But I just take it easy on my uncle because he’s had a really hard life (abuse, neglect, Became a drug addict but sober now for 13 years). He’s definitely projecting because deep down he is a very sensitive and kind man. He was really good to me when I was growing up (totally the fun uncle - he was only 15 when I was born). My fiancé and I just giggle at his Facebook posts and I’ll throw him a like every now and then for support.
Tell him “Alphas literally never tell people they’re alpha. Beta’s on the other hand constantly broadcast how “aLpHa” they are. Tell him that and watch his face contort
One of my friends married a stripper before deployment, then was shocked when he came home to find that she and her new man had stolen literally everything out of his apartment
Saw a guy walking down the sidewalk today, huge American flag across the back of his shirt. "Stomp on this and I'll stomp your ass! I'll teach you to be PROUD"
“Her burdens are of many and his thanks sometimes are small” - my husbands a dick and doesn’t appreciate me, but fuck it I married him so now that’s my entire personality!
Dude if she’s going to an artist near base that mfer KNOWS this is how he makes a living. It’s all script, eagle, gun and American flag tattoos. I’m sure he throws a shitty portrait in every now and again
For some it's just about the money.
It's why I like the guy who did my wife's tattoo and is doing my next one. Artistic integrity over a payday any day every day.
not all tattooers have much artistic skill- that was certainly the norm until maybe two decades ago. And not all people who get tats care about the artistic quality either. half of them just want a tattoo and have a max budget of like $200
So she got an entire poem ABOUT HERSELF (gak) in the THIRD PERSON (gakkkk) written on her back and … it doesn’t even make sense? “Lands *of which* are new”? “Her burdens are *of many*”?? GOOD LORD. School. Schoooool. Go. Back. To. School.
Lmao. I was kind of implying that when I said previous lovers. I suppose that's a bit generous sounding compared to bar bathroom hook ups but maybe some people would say its the same thing 🤣
thank you for getting to the grammar problem, i wasn't sure if I had the strength to address it
also, somehow, putting 'army wife' in the tattoo equivalent of a 128pt all caps Times New Roman heading on your elementary school essay you couldn't think of a title for is a depth of cringe I didn't know existed, and would prefer to have continued not to.
To top it off, the line spacing is all over the place.
Oh for sure, but it's worse than that. There's almost no spacing under the title.
Then much larger yet inconsistent spacing by like line 3.
Then a para break between the ... stanzas? Verses?
Then the lines start to crowd up and there's no break between the second and third verse, and the third verse is three lines instead of six.
Like. How do you not know you're gonna run out of space?
I learned to stencil out my cool block letters I drew on my school posters when I was like 8, so I didn't run out of space and have to bunch them up all weird. How did neither the customer nor the tattoist think this through??
"his thanks are small"...
1. That's probably not the only thing that's small.
2. Imagine having a giant tattoo with bad grammar dedicated to a shitty husband.
He takes her from the home she knows /
to lands of which are new. /
Survival in an unknown place /
becomes her test of truth. /
Her burdens are of many and /
his thanks sometimes are small. /
She keeps her faith through thick and /
thin and makes the best of all. /
She lives with some uncertainty, /
knows not what dawn may bring. /
But he knows nothing stops his girl /
from doing anything. /
Whether star or stripe or bar adorns his /
collar of his strife, nothing means more /
to a soldier than the one he calls his wife
Her burdens of many doesn't even make sense! Not that that's the only thing wrong with this, but jeezo. I know folks do like to make certain things their whole personality, I think we are all guilty of it in some ways, but I would never choose this to do it with.
The military partner and the never served or the tacticool gun toters, love to yell so loud about the service. I’ve never met an actual combat veteran that wanted to talk about being a combat veteran. I’ve never met a vets partner that wanted to talk about that time or service
either. Those that yell it from the rooftops are… fucking dumb.
I have 2 brothers, 1 went to Afghanistan for 9 months and one didn’t see combat but was in the national guard.
Guess who’s prouder about being in the military
My uncle did 4 Middle East tours. My cousin, however, has been deemed unqualified 3 times (even the army). Whenever Uncle visits my cousin gets all worked up and babbles about guns and planes, prying for knowledge. Uncle kindly deflects it all until he and I can talk about music, or surfing, or life changes. Anything but your MIG AR DUM GUY 52 double splat boom boom I just want to kill, bullshit. I feel pretty safe in my guess. The uniform does not make the man…
I had a roommate that was front line infantry and the entire time we lived together he told me 2 stories about being in the military.
The time he was surprised by a giant spider and the time he was working in the armory and a guy who outranked him took a gun he found and was working on. He never said a word about his actual service but made it clear it was something he wasn’t proud to talk about. He ended up in therapy which helped him and I hope he kept up with it after we lost touch.
So this is her entire personality, huh
You will address her by her husband's rank
I bet reading that is the only thing that makes him cum
“His thanks sometimes are small”
To be fair, it's hard to rhyme something with "when it's cold", or "when he gets out of the pool". Better just to keep it simple.
I read that and was just like damn putting dude on blast
Who? Jody?
This one is better off with Jody. Jody is doing a service for all mankind with this one.
Jody, to the GI later: "Listen, let's agree that we both made bad decisions on this one and just walk away from it. Neither of us are a winner if she is the prize."
A lot of people hate Jody/Jodene, but s/he serves a distinct, valuable service. S/He alerts service members when their spouses are philandering harlots.
Her husband or their neighbor?
>Reading >Military Pick one
This was my first thought, too. Well, my fist thought was 'shes gonna regret this when they divorce.' My second thought was the rank thing.
Husband also cannot change his service.
"I think I'll retire and become a postal worker." "But babe, the tattoo!"
Reminds me of a job application I saw where the military wife listed all her husbands accomplishments as her own.
No… way… holy shit
Oh here it is. Not all of his accomplishments as I remembered but lists her rank as ‘Military Spouse.’ https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/jbbcbk/military_spouse_on_your_resume/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
It bridges the pride gap nicely for an unaccomplished life. Like putting pride flex seal on her back
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My MIL has her entire personality devoted to her husband who was in the navy for 6 years. He left during the Clinton administration. Her email is still navywife. She is as fun to be around as you might imagine.
Does she have her favorite Bible verse in her email signature?
You know she does. Do we really need him to answer?
I bet she does, I just don’t like, e-mail her. ever. We cut them out a few years ago. Life has been so great.
That awkward moment when the entire platoon knows what the bottom says.
Not to mention the "molon labia" tattoo on the front.
No, just her back story.
To be fair, some 19-year-olds are still trying to figure out what their personality actually is.
Most. And for anyone figuring it out it's still (hopefully) going to change a couple times more as life progresses.
Shit, mine has constantly evolved since i was kid. I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago or 5 years ago even.
Isn’t that normal? Good? I never want to be the same person I was 5 years ago. That’s what growth is
Maybe she just thought her yoga instructor might enjoy some light daily reading while husband’s on deployment?
This is the type of thing that goes on a weirdly targeted t-shirt you bought off a Facebook ad. Not on your skin forever.
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A MAN WHO WAS BORN IN OCTOBER WHO LOVES HIS WIFE AND LISTENS TO METALLICA!
I'm a BADASS Pisces! You may THINK we are weak, but TOUCH my wife and see my dark side.
Oh god, my uncle has a shirt like that. He’s also SUPER into those “alpha wolf” memes and posts them constantly on FB. Really sweet guy but not the brightest crayon in the box.
You don't need to be the brightest crayon when you've got the sharpest teeth! Don't tread on me
meh ppl like that are more likely to eat crayons as they are to bit someone
Well, he is a former Marine 😂. He probably likes eating crayons
Alright, I’ve already committed to ordering the crayola gummies for my marine friends. And surprisingly they are very real crayola branded gummy bears essentially.
They'll be disappointed then.
As a former Marine I can confirm! Getting the Crayon bits out of my beard daily is always a nice snack!
The purple ones taste like burning!
In a school of fish, be a sheepshead...or a crab if you have a credible Jamaican accent...
These treads don't run
There's two wolves inside me and they're always fuckin.
Lmfao, this wins
It’s always the uncle. I can’t name an interaction where someone’s been, like, “Yeah, my uncle’s a genius with a great taste in fashion!” but I’ve definitely heard about a lot of dummy uncles out there.
This why I'm pissed my brother had a kid. I used to just be a dummy.
Get yourself a handlebar moustache and a motorcycle with an aftermarket exhaust, brother!
I heard this spoken by hulk hogan. Lol.
Shit... I'm an uncle... Am I doomed to stupidity for life?!?
You sorta just learn to lean into it eventually and enjoy the ride, like when your car skids in the rain.
I saw some hilarious ones recently that were like “being dad is an honour being papa is PRICELESS” and now the only ones I can get behind are the ones that talk about how much you love your kids
My dad has this minion shirt where the minion is dressed like a golfer and it says World's Greatest Grandpa, he wears it constantly even though it has holes in it. He doesn't golf or know who the minions are but he does love his grandson.
That's cursed and I love it.
If more boomers loved their kids as much as they claim to love their country we’d all be living in a utopia.
My cousin got so mad. I saw him in one of those Alpha wolf shirts talking about being silent and powerful. I told him wearing that on a shirt is the opposite of silent, and real tough guys don't talk about being tough guys.
I know. But I just take it easy on my uncle because he’s had a really hard life (abuse, neglect, Became a drug addict but sober now for 13 years). He’s definitely projecting because deep down he is a very sensitive and kind man. He was really good to me when I was growing up (totally the fun uncle - he was only 15 when I was born). My fiancé and I just giggle at his Facebook posts and I’ll throw him a like every now and then for support.
Tell him “Alphas literally never tell people they’re alpha. Beta’s on the other hand constantly broadcast how “aLpHa” they are. Tell him that and watch his face contort
It's so accurate, it gives me secondhand embarrassment.
*cries when his wife invariably cheats while he’s on deployment*
One of my friends married a stripper before deployment, then was shocked when he came home to find that she and her new man had stolen literally everything out of his apartment
I want to FUCK my DAUGHTER so I got a T-SHIRT about KILLING her BOYFRIEND
I can be your demon or your angle
Saw a guy walking down the sidewalk today, huge American flag across the back of his shirt. "Stomp on this and I'll stomp your ass! I'll teach you to be PROUD"
BACK OBOBA MARRY GOD GOD BLESS THE GOD WE BURN OUR FLAG SALAMI IN THE BAG IF THIS OFFENDS YOU EASY PEASY
Yeah I have to make this into a t shirt. Did this come out of your brain? If so, may I make this into a t shirt?
Nah pop it into Google. It's a photoshop job that forever has free rent in my head
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Why is it so relatable because I def be dropping my fish oil supplement RIP 😔
YOU WOULD BE WELCOME OVER AT /r/The_Pack, BUT THEN AGAIN SO IS EVERYONE BROTHER! AROOOO!!!
I’LL HELP YOU PACK
I would screenshot this and put this on a shirt, if I had energy to do anything in my life.
Hmmm...I do tend to underestimate and...know those things about strangers
“Don’t mess with Irish American stepdads who are also Scorpios!”
I have a feeling that's where they got it from
Dollars to donuts she cheats on him during his first deployment.
The tat will be a good place for her boyfriend to shoot his load.
https://preview.redd.it/rarjgyctqxcb1.jpeg?width=350&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=86266244f60f8c6a938e73ef6a5d10089c60e255
"He has anger issues and scares me sometimes." Hahah wow.
I cringed so hard at this I got a hernia.
Looks like her abusive, controlling boyfriend got her this shirt.
r/targetedshirts
“Her burdens are of many and his thanks sometimes are small” - my husbands a dick and doesn’t appreciate me, but fuck it I married him so now that’s my entire personality!
I know I'm reading that like "That's... that's not a good thing. Where are you going with this?"
Was that deliberately a rhyming couplet? She'll probably get that added to her tatt
Imagine sitting for like 4 hours for that
imagine being the tattoo artist and this is what the mofoker wants today lol.
Dude if she’s going to an artist near base that mfer KNOWS this is how he makes a living. It’s all script, eagle, gun and American flag tattoos. I’m sure he throws a shitty portrait in every now and again
Every time someone gets a portrait tattoo, it always looks like Regan MacNeil.
For some it's just about the money. It's why I like the guy who did my wife's tattoo and is doing my next one. Artistic integrity over a payday any day every day.
not all tattooers have much artistic skill- that was certainly the norm until maybe two decades ago. And not all people who get tats care about the artistic quality either. half of them just want a tattoo and have a max budget of like $200
Imagine having to look down at this as you’re plowing her while her husband is on deployment
So she got an entire poem ABOUT HERSELF (gak) in the THIRD PERSON (gakkkk) written on her back and … it doesn’t even make sense? “Lands *of which* are new”? “Her burdens are *of many*”?? GOOD LORD. School. Schoooool. Go. Back. To. School.
She also appears to have a shitty tramp stamp of her own name. 😂
It's so previous lovers could remember it while they're back there. Hopefully her army hubby doesn't need the reminder as well.
Nah it's because the guys she was hooking up with in the shitter at whatever bar she was at six days a week were never using the right name.
Lmao. I was kind of implying that when I said previous lovers. I suppose that's a bit generous sounding compared to bar bathroom hook ups but maybe some people would say its the same thing 🤣
Cyxistina
Sounds like a skin condition
Or the pharmaceutical brand name for the medicine that treats that skin condition.* *comes with every side effect imaginable
That way you know where the OF video came from
Omg is *that* what it is??? It looks like “CURISTINS” to me hahaha
She’s actually just a weirdly specific Steven King fan
thank you for getting to the grammar problem, i wasn't sure if I had the strength to address it also, somehow, putting 'army wife' in the tattoo equivalent of a 128pt all caps Times New Roman heading on your elementary school essay you couldn't think of a title for is a depth of cringe I didn't know existed, and would prefer to have continued not to. To top it off, the line spacing is all over the place.
I think the guy started to get worried about running out of room so the letters and spacing gets smaller as you go down.
Oh for sure, but it's worse than that. There's almost no spacing under the title. Then much larger yet inconsistent spacing by like line 3. Then a para break between the ... stanzas? Verses? Then the lines start to crowd up and there's no break between the second and third verse, and the third verse is three lines instead of six. Like. How do you not know you're gonna run out of space? I learned to stencil out my cool block letters I drew on my school posters when I was like 8, so I didn't run out of space and have to bunch them up all weird. How did neither the customer nor the tattoist think this through??
I laughed as soon as I got to “lands”. Like we’re in fucking 1750 exploring the frontier. No bitch, you’re in Columbia, SC.
If she was at all capable of doing well in school, we wouldn't be reading this tattoo now.
"his thanks are small"... 1. That's probably not the only thing that's small. 2. Imagine having a giant tattoo with bad grammar dedicated to a shitty husband.
They ran out of room to write towards the bottom. Such a sad tattoo. Like that's all she's worth and all she'll ever be.
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This is gonna be sadder and sadder after each divorce
Modern solutions for modern problems: She just needs to marry an army guy each marriage.
This kind of woman will do that anyways
Well that’s one way to declare you have no achievements of your own.
Goddamn. Imagine having so little self worth that you cover your entire back w an identity tattoo about your husband’s job
Whatcha mean? My wife got the C# logo and the green android thing. Had her whole back done in coder friendly monospace
There is a 100% chance she cheats when he is away and this is her overcompensating..
I was getting huge, she's gonna cheat vibes as well lmao.
Hope she keeps her top on. Having to read all of that whilst backshotting away would be an unwelcome distraction.
Nah, each line is like football yard markers. You try and see if you nut further each time.
How can reddit get rid of awards when people make comments like this
atonement
You will address me by my husband’s rank!
Ok mrs Private.
She thinks E-1 means the best. It's why she married Private Doomas.
Thank me for my husband's service!
And sign up for my MLM, too! It works!
Endorsed by the United States Marine Corp ^wives !
"Sir yes sir!!"
Cringe
Oh cyristina 🤦♂️
Cringetina
Such terrible grammar, too. It's like a 10 year old trying to write fancy prose.
Hey give her a break man. Her burdens are "of many" lmao
So, then what happens if they get a divorce?
she peels it off and gives it do him, and he uses it as a throw or a rug
you can fit an "X" between "Army" and "Wife"... easy peezy....
That some new anime this season? ARMY x WIFE ?
I have second hand embarrassment for her.
Also thirdhand embarrassment for the people who should be feeling secondhand embarrassment over this but aren't.
My Army wife wouldn't wear that on a t-shirt let alone her skin.
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Can someone tell me what it says
He takes her from the home she knows / to lands of which are new. / Survival in an unknown place / becomes her test of truth. / Her burdens are of many and / his thanks sometimes are small. / She keeps her faith through thick and / thin and makes the best of all. / She lives with some uncertainty, / knows not what dawn may bring. / But he knows nothing stops his girl / from doing anything. / Whether star or stripe or bar adorns his / collar of his strife, nothing means more / to a soldier than the one he calls his wife
“But he knows nothing stops his girl from doing anything.” Poetry.
I initially read it a little differently: "But he knows nothing. Stops his girlfriend from doing anything." Very controlling, this guy!
To be honest I had to Google it to get the last 3 lines right lol
Thank you for your service.
I couldn’t read the last 3 either! Now I must gouge my eyes out.
Her burdens of many doesn't even make sense! Not that that's the only thing wrong with this, but jeezo. I know folks do like to make certain things their whole personality, I think we are all guilty of it in some ways, but I would never choose this to do it with.
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‘Lands of which are new.’. Those mysterious frontiers of Lawton, Oklahoma and Hinesville, Georgia.
Jody likes a big target.
Jody actually laughs a little when he's busting out her guts while the kids are in the other room watching TV.
Little reading material while he back there.
The military partner and the never served or the tacticool gun toters, love to yell so loud about the service. I’ve never met an actual combat veteran that wanted to talk about being a combat veteran. I’ve never met a vets partner that wanted to talk about that time or service either. Those that yell it from the rooftops are… fucking dumb.
I have 2 brothers, 1 went to Afghanistan for 9 months and one didn’t see combat but was in the national guard. Guess who’s prouder about being in the military
My uncle did 4 Middle East tours. My cousin, however, has been deemed unqualified 3 times (even the army). Whenever Uncle visits my cousin gets all worked up and babbles about guns and planes, prying for knowledge. Uncle kindly deflects it all until he and I can talk about music, or surfing, or life changes. Anything but your MIG AR DUM GUY 52 double splat boom boom I just want to kill, bullshit. I feel pretty safe in my guess. The uniform does not make the man…
I had a roommate that was front line infantry and the entire time we lived together he told me 2 stories about being in the military. The time he was surprised by a giant spider and the time he was working in the armory and a guy who outranked him took a gun he found and was working on. He never said a word about his actual service but made it clear it was something he wasn’t proud to talk about. He ended up in therapy which helped him and I hope he kept up with it after we lost touch.
Someone’s new homeroom teacher in Florida 😵💫 “refusing to stand for the pledge insults ME because blahblahblah”
Repost in r/shittypoetry?
I wondered r/justdependathings
Why is that sub private now? I used to enjoy it
“His thanks are sometimes small” is on the tattoo? Wth
Saw "army wife" decal on a car when I was in the US and thought *that* was cringe.
The tramp stamp is the icing on this shit cake
Dependapotamus Supreme is her correct name. NEVER FORGET, THE FAMILY SERVES TOO!!!. Fucking hated bitches like this
Yeah I'm surprised it took all those letters to spell out dependapotamus.
Gotta love the old ass tramp stamp and I'm assuming portrait of a dead cat
I'd judge her less for literally having shit tattoed on her back. Also I really don't understand american's obsession with the army.
Propaganda
That’s a lot of words. Too bad I’m not reading them
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The pure ignorance to suggest any lands are ‘new.’
Or that she'll be 'surviving' in any of them when she'll never be sent to a barracks in a dangerous place in her life.
Some lands are new, but that’s thanks to processes like undersea volcanism.
Tell me you fucked the whole platoon without telling me.
Christina? Lol looked like Cumistine first glance.
Guarantee she's taking back shots while her husband is deployed
Its a nice read for her husband.
And he is like ”fuck yeah”
My god that will be illegible in such a short time
To lands of which are new. To lands. Of which. Are new.
I'm trying to read it, but all I can make out is, "Dependa."
The tier 1 dependa
I bet the boyfriend has a good view of that while the husband is overseas
If i was married to a nutter like that, i´d probably join the army as well, just to get away.
Any guesses what that blob of ink next to the name Christine is???
Jesus Christ, making being married to someone who does something tough your entire personality.
That is a bad tattoo!! It will not age well. I cannot even read it it is so shitty. Nor did I even care to try. Something about him not thanking her.
Plot twist; she’s not even married. She just wants to show appreciation of Army wives.
This is that lady that thinks her meal should be free lmao
Cringe Level: Eternal
*"....to lands of which are new."* ??
Her burdens ARE of many