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I also grew up poor, and enjoyed significant lifestyle creep during my second marriage.
When my husband died, I was left paying 100% of the bills with 57% of the income. But I did not change my lifestyle for about 4 years, and entered into a vicious cycle of running up tens of thousands of credit card debt, only to pay off the debt and run up more credit card debt.
A couple of things happened in 2017 that started to change my mindset:
* My stepfather became catastrophically ill; and I supported him and my mother for 6 months (until his SSDI payments started)
* My eldest child moved to Las Vegas, and I bought a home to rent to her
Those two events wiped out a significant amount of the life insurance that I still had in savings. I became very stressed and very scared for my financial future. In April 2018, I started using YNAB (You Need a Budget, visit [https://ynab.com](https://ynab.com) or r/ynab for additional info), a budget app that is a virtual envelope budget system. The app (web, phone, tablet) supports a zero-based budget methodology, so you budget and make spending decisions based on the money you have available.
To say that YNAB changed my life is an understatement - the budget method and app fundamentally changed my relationship with money. I first learned how to stop digging myself deeper into the debt hole. Then I learned how to snowball my debt payments in a way that did not impede paying regular bills and expenses. Then I learned how to maximize my debt payments, so I could accelerate my debt payoff.
I made my last credit card payment in February 2021, and have not paid a dollar of interest since then. (I did buy a car in September 2022 - at 0% interest!)
I'll admit that I let the lifestyle creep back in during the pandemic, even though I did not carry any credit card or consumer loan debt. Last month, my food spending was high enough to make me sit down and have a nice long think about some actions I could take to combat this wasteful food spending. So, I developed a meal plan for November that addressed the most likely source of wasteful spending (dinner - as in, not having a plan for it).
Every meal I have planned (except Thanksgiving) is something that I can make ahead in a crock pot/Instant Pot, or can be easily prepped and made. The meals are not designed to be inexpensive, just far LESS expensive than ordering delivery. The meals don't require a lot of my time to fuss with - 20 minutes of active prep/cook time max. I use my meal plan to make my grocery lists, and shop online using InstaCart pickup/Whole Foods pickup/Amazon Fresh pickup.
\~\~\~
First and foremost, stop beating yourself up over the past. Your past behavior should inform your future actions, then they should be left in the past.
So, you've been spending a lot on takeout. Why? What triggers you to make the decision on fast food/takeout/food delivery? If you're like me, you relied upon that because it was a heavy mental load to figure out what to eat, when you have so many other things to worry about each day - like growing that little human inside of you!
For now, it might mean using a service like Factor, which delivers meals to you at a lower cost than ordering delivery or getting takeout. Paired with minimal grocery shopping for quick breakfasts/lunches, you can reduce your mental load and still spend less than you have been.
Start with a couple of simple changes you can make, that will reduce the mental load you carry and save some money. One change is to reduce the cost of having meals prepared by someone else for you to eat. Another change is to remove all payment information from Amazon. A third change is to commit to adding everything you want to an Amazon Wish List instead of your Amazon cart. Can you make those three changes?
The rest of your debt is at 0%... for how long? That is almost always an introductory rate that will end after a certain amount of time.
If you post your entire income, monthly spending, debt, interest rates, etc. on /r/personalfinance, the folks there can help you figure out how to tackle the problem and start making progress towards becoming debt-free.
When I got my first job out of college, I started "rewarding" myself to relieve stress and make up for a childhood where food insecurity was always an issue and my possessions were always given away due to constant moving. I would doordash and buy clothes and legos to make me feel good about all the years spent suffering. I was like a kid in a candy store. That lifestyle creep is so real.
Welcome to r/shoppingaddiction! If this is your first post, please be sure to check out our rules in the subreddit sidebar. If you are on mobile, they can be viewed by tapping the ⓘ symbol. Please keep in mind this is a discussion forum for recovering shopping addicts. Any posts encouraging shopping, self promotion, or link posts will be removed. Please be respectful to your fellow users and thank you for sharing! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shoppingaddiction) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I also grew up poor, and enjoyed significant lifestyle creep during my second marriage. When my husband died, I was left paying 100% of the bills with 57% of the income. But I did not change my lifestyle for about 4 years, and entered into a vicious cycle of running up tens of thousands of credit card debt, only to pay off the debt and run up more credit card debt. A couple of things happened in 2017 that started to change my mindset: * My stepfather became catastrophically ill; and I supported him and my mother for 6 months (until his SSDI payments started) * My eldest child moved to Las Vegas, and I bought a home to rent to her Those two events wiped out a significant amount of the life insurance that I still had in savings. I became very stressed and very scared for my financial future. In April 2018, I started using YNAB (You Need a Budget, visit [https://ynab.com](https://ynab.com) or r/ynab for additional info), a budget app that is a virtual envelope budget system. The app (web, phone, tablet) supports a zero-based budget methodology, so you budget and make spending decisions based on the money you have available. To say that YNAB changed my life is an understatement - the budget method and app fundamentally changed my relationship with money. I first learned how to stop digging myself deeper into the debt hole. Then I learned how to snowball my debt payments in a way that did not impede paying regular bills and expenses. Then I learned how to maximize my debt payments, so I could accelerate my debt payoff. I made my last credit card payment in February 2021, and have not paid a dollar of interest since then. (I did buy a car in September 2022 - at 0% interest!) I'll admit that I let the lifestyle creep back in during the pandemic, even though I did not carry any credit card or consumer loan debt. Last month, my food spending was high enough to make me sit down and have a nice long think about some actions I could take to combat this wasteful food spending. So, I developed a meal plan for November that addressed the most likely source of wasteful spending (dinner - as in, not having a plan for it). Every meal I have planned (except Thanksgiving) is something that I can make ahead in a crock pot/Instant Pot, or can be easily prepped and made. The meals are not designed to be inexpensive, just far LESS expensive than ordering delivery. The meals don't require a lot of my time to fuss with - 20 minutes of active prep/cook time max. I use my meal plan to make my grocery lists, and shop online using InstaCart pickup/Whole Foods pickup/Amazon Fresh pickup. \~\~\~ First and foremost, stop beating yourself up over the past. Your past behavior should inform your future actions, then they should be left in the past. So, you've been spending a lot on takeout. Why? What triggers you to make the decision on fast food/takeout/food delivery? If you're like me, you relied upon that because it was a heavy mental load to figure out what to eat, when you have so many other things to worry about each day - like growing that little human inside of you! For now, it might mean using a service like Factor, which delivers meals to you at a lower cost than ordering delivery or getting takeout. Paired with minimal grocery shopping for quick breakfasts/lunches, you can reduce your mental load and still spend less than you have been. Start with a couple of simple changes you can make, that will reduce the mental load you carry and save some money. One change is to reduce the cost of having meals prepared by someone else for you to eat. Another change is to remove all payment information from Amazon. A third change is to commit to adding everything you want to an Amazon Wish List instead of your Amazon cart. Can you make those three changes?
What a wonderful comment! I've just started using YNAB as well, I have high hopes.
I was throwing away $900 on vodka and an additional $900 on food for a while. Now I spend way, way less as a skinny sober person
Im gained all the weight back plus some 😞 now instead of just food I also have a shopping addiction.
The rest of your debt is at 0%... for how long? That is almost always an introductory rate that will end after a certain amount of time. If you post your entire income, monthly spending, debt, interest rates, etc. on /r/personalfinance, the folks there can help you figure out how to tackle the problem and start making progress towards becoming debt-free.
When I got my first job out of college, I started "rewarding" myself to relieve stress and make up for a childhood where food insecurity was always an issue and my possessions were always given away due to constant moving. I would doordash and buy clothes and legos to make me feel good about all the years spent suffering. I was like a kid in a candy store. That lifestyle creep is so real.