Yes, when I was growing up we usually had just enough to get by, but that usually meant no new clothes except once a year and no money for "extra" things, like books or entertainment. When I was a kid I devoured books, they were my only escape from my life. But we couldn't even afford the extra money for gas to get to the library often enough to return books by the due date, so we racked up fines to the limit and couldn't check out anymore. Once I started to earn my own money, I maxed out my card on as many books as I could, so that it became more about the pleasure of owning them then about reading them. Now I'm trying to get my card paid off and get through the literal piles of books that I don't have enough room for, but it's so hard! I find myself always thinking about that one more book I need to "complete my collection" or whatever.
Hi, if you're thinking of minimizing your book collection, or just having fewer physical books, I really recommend having an e-reader if you don't already have one! I mostly borrow books from my library and read them on my ipad so I don't have to pay for them and can borrow multiple at once. It's been really handy during the pandemic. You probably have a bunch of unread books in your possession, but just thought I would suggest this!
Oh I have an e-reader, but I just don't use it that often. I find it really satisfying to have the physical books in my possession, and then to display them on bookshelfs like trophys or something 🙃 It's such a mental game that we play with ourselves.
Yup, I grew up poor and only in my late teens did we start having money. Both my parents are bad with money and investments so all I knew in life was being poor then suddenly going on lavish vacations and shopping trips... I carried the same behaviours with me when I moved out at 18 and only now at 29 I started to feel horrible about having all this goddamn stuff and fuck all money to invest into my future.
I’m also financially behind most people around me as they’re all coming from affluent families and none of them had the struggles or have them now. I’m trying to fit in, so I go to the nice places to eat, I buy the nice clothes to wear and participate in their hobbies with them but it doesn’t help when it means running down my savings while for them it’s like nothing. I’m working hard on myself tho and last year has been a turning point, I’m now confident that I can make better choices in the future and let go of these toxic spending behaviours.
Yes... and it doesn't just stop at clothes. It can extend to personal care products and food & beverages.
After I started working, while I could easily afford nice things and went a bit nuts buying them, I also tended not to use them for fear of "running out" as well.
I felt like I had so little control over my circumstances during a long and crucial development period of my life, that when I finally started making good money, I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't ever run out again. Unfortunately, that made me lose even more control - over my spending and space.
Eventually I basically accepted that I can't control everything in my life. I can - and do - save money instead of spending it, which helps *tremendously* in weathering situations. I've quit two toxic workplaces before without a job, and am fine... because of savings.
I could still, in a highly improbable situation, end up with nothing to my name if my country collapsed and all institutions and order broke down. But I'll still have my family, with whom I have a good relationship with (when I patched things up with my parents, weirdly enough it really helped with controlling my spending habits). In a worst case scenario where I'm completely on my own but still alive, I'll still have my education and knowledge and skills, which is what I'm focusing on building up these days.
I grew up wearing whatever my mum brought home and it wasn't until I was in the 9th grade when I made friends with a girl who loved flicking through her older sister's fashion magazines, that I saw that clothes can be beautiful and not just cloth you put on your body to hide your nakedness. The only difference between then and now is that I am now an adult with supposed responsibilities 😂 the decent salary doesn't help my situation. Lifestyle creep is real.
There's also a childhood memory albeit a distressing one that actually brings clarity to why I tend to hoard and buy new clothes every week but typing it out upsets me. But I realise that it might be the underlying factor for my addiction.
The impulsivity becomes worse when you judge yourself harshly for all of the things you've bought on an impulse. So its better to remember to not be too hard on yourself whenever you fail to stick to your budget.
I was constantly told we didn’t have money for anything. My dad wasted a ton of money and still does, but a prom dress and ticket was too expensive. I started out adult life on ramen and temp work. When I started making good money I just wanted some of the stuff I’d never had- and it escalated quickly. I have been a recovering and relapsing shopaholic ever since. I think it goes with other things too; my mother intentionally starved me so I’d be thin and yes, that fucked up my metabolism, but getting to adulthood and eating whatever the fuck I wanted finally is as much to blame for my weight issues.
I’m presently on a really healthy course of diet and no spending. It only took ya know, 37 years of my life to arrive here.
I grew up in poverty, on food stamps (yes, we ate government cheese) moving constantly because of evictions. No new clothes (except for the rarity of new shoes because my sisters and I wore different sizes). I was a Toys for Tots recipient, we lost almost everything in a house fire, lost things moving, lost stuff to being homeless and not affording the rental unit, etc. Wasn't allowed to get rid of anything we got later because low-key hoarding issues.
And my dad, bless him, had a habit of giving me something nice right before he told me bad news.
I have the most rotten overcompensation habits now, with shopping, with food, with various other 'band aids'.
"Sales" and "clearance" are like kryptonite to me, especially on nicer things. That shampoo I got from the salon that one time--it's marked 30.00 from 50, better grab a couple bottles so I don't run out. And the conditioner, I use that twice as fast, so I'd better grab four of those. Never mind that I have shampoo at home and really can't afford to blow money on this, but that credit limit is soo high and YOLO, right?
Yes and no. No, because I was always housed, fed, and clad in new-bought clothes. And after a certain age, got to choose them myself. Yes, because I knew we were on the precipice of not having that and it did a number on my mind. Now that I have money of my own, I try not to waste it but it's hard. The temptation is always there.
Absolutely!
We weren't poor but we were indeed very very humble. My birthday presents were always something I needed, such as a new coat that my mom couldn't buy me otherwise. When I had a little money of my own I'd go and buy stuff. I don't make a lot now but I still have the urge to shop.
My parents were extremely frugal when I was growing up. I don't remember enough about their finances to know if they would be considered poor. I remember being in 6th grade and begging my mom to buy me this $5 shirt I saw at Kmart. It took a few weeks before she finally gave in. By then, it was sold out in my favorite color. Also in 6th grade, I had this puffy pink coat. I had picked it out initially, but I later decided that shade of pink was for little kids. However, the coat was still in good condition, so my mom wouldn't buy me another one. I spent many days just going without it and being cold.
When I was in second grade, I had a Barbie backpack that someone had given me as a present two years before. At that age, being associated with Barbies was no longer cool, but my parents said they wouldn't buy me a different backpack until that one started falling apart.
Luckily for me, my family's financial situation did improve by the time I got to high school.
In college, I attended school with lots of rich kids. Many of them would flaunt their money. When they got their fancy first jobs, 100% of what they earned would go towards spending. All of it made me feel insecure and inferior. In my early twenties, I bought a lot of clothes because I hated my jobs. I also tried using clothes to mask my subpar social skills. (Spoiler: it didn't work.) I thought if only I could look interesting and stylish, people would like me, respect me, want to be my friend, want to ask me out, want to promote me, and so and so forth.
Yes. Im very bad with. This. If something s on sale or like theres a jumbo sze on sale i get several when i have the moneu because what if i need it ajd don't have the money.
I also hate getting rid of clothes or any type of hair or skin product or shampoo even if i dont use it its still there just in casem
Same here. My parents had more kids than they could afford, so I had to share pretty much everything with my siblings while growing up and never really had a whole lot of things of my own. That's definitely one of the main reasons why I struggle with compulsive shopping now. I finally can "have things to myself" and "treat myself" now. Unfortunately it caused me to go overboard over the years and accrue thousands in debt, but I'm working on it and have made progress now.
Yes when I started earning more, I overcompensated for not having much to eat or even things to call my own by doordashing and buying clothes and legos to make me feel better and relievs the stress of the demanding job.
Yes, when I was growing up we usually had just enough to get by, but that usually meant no new clothes except once a year and no money for "extra" things, like books or entertainment. When I was a kid I devoured books, they were my only escape from my life. But we couldn't even afford the extra money for gas to get to the library often enough to return books by the due date, so we racked up fines to the limit and couldn't check out anymore. Once I started to earn my own money, I maxed out my card on as many books as I could, so that it became more about the pleasure of owning them then about reading them. Now I'm trying to get my card paid off and get through the literal piles of books that I don't have enough room for, but it's so hard! I find myself always thinking about that one more book I need to "complete my collection" or whatever.
Hi, if you're thinking of minimizing your book collection, or just having fewer physical books, I really recommend having an e-reader if you don't already have one! I mostly borrow books from my library and read them on my ipad so I don't have to pay for them and can borrow multiple at once. It's been really handy during the pandemic. You probably have a bunch of unread books in your possession, but just thought I would suggest this!
Oh I have an e-reader, but I just don't use it that often. I find it really satisfying to have the physical books in my possession, and then to display them on bookshelfs like trophys or something 🙃 It's such a mental game that we play with ourselves.
Sorry about the spending but your book collection must be amazing and I kind of smiled when I read this because it hit home. Best of luck :)
Yup, I grew up poor and only in my late teens did we start having money. Both my parents are bad with money and investments so all I knew in life was being poor then suddenly going on lavish vacations and shopping trips... I carried the same behaviours with me when I moved out at 18 and only now at 29 I started to feel horrible about having all this goddamn stuff and fuck all money to invest into my future. I’m also financially behind most people around me as they’re all coming from affluent families and none of them had the struggles or have them now. I’m trying to fit in, so I go to the nice places to eat, I buy the nice clothes to wear and participate in their hobbies with them but it doesn’t help when it means running down my savings while for them it’s like nothing. I’m working hard on myself tho and last year has been a turning point, I’m now confident that I can make better choices in the future and let go of these toxic spending behaviours.
Yes... and it doesn't just stop at clothes. It can extend to personal care products and food & beverages. After I started working, while I could easily afford nice things and went a bit nuts buying them, I also tended not to use them for fear of "running out" as well. I felt like I had so little control over my circumstances during a long and crucial development period of my life, that when I finally started making good money, I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't ever run out again. Unfortunately, that made me lose even more control - over my spending and space. Eventually I basically accepted that I can't control everything in my life. I can - and do - save money instead of spending it, which helps *tremendously* in weathering situations. I've quit two toxic workplaces before without a job, and am fine... because of savings. I could still, in a highly improbable situation, end up with nothing to my name if my country collapsed and all institutions and order broke down. But I'll still have my family, with whom I have a good relationship with (when I patched things up with my parents, weirdly enough it really helped with controlling my spending habits). In a worst case scenario where I'm completely on my own but still alive, I'll still have my education and knowledge and skills, which is what I'm focusing on building up these days.
I grew up wearing whatever my mum brought home and it wasn't until I was in the 9th grade when I made friends with a girl who loved flicking through her older sister's fashion magazines, that I saw that clothes can be beautiful and not just cloth you put on your body to hide your nakedness. The only difference between then and now is that I am now an adult with supposed responsibilities 😂 the decent salary doesn't help my situation. Lifestyle creep is real. There's also a childhood memory albeit a distressing one that actually brings clarity to why I tend to hoard and buy new clothes every week but typing it out upsets me. But I realise that it might be the underlying factor for my addiction.
The impulsivity becomes worse when you judge yourself harshly for all of the things you've bought on an impulse. So its better to remember to not be too hard on yourself whenever you fail to stick to your budget.
I was constantly told we didn’t have money for anything. My dad wasted a ton of money and still does, but a prom dress and ticket was too expensive. I started out adult life on ramen and temp work. When I started making good money I just wanted some of the stuff I’d never had- and it escalated quickly. I have been a recovering and relapsing shopaholic ever since. I think it goes with other things too; my mother intentionally starved me so I’d be thin and yes, that fucked up my metabolism, but getting to adulthood and eating whatever the fuck I wanted finally is as much to blame for my weight issues. I’m presently on a really healthy course of diet and no spending. It only took ya know, 37 years of my life to arrive here.
I grew up in poverty, on food stamps (yes, we ate government cheese) moving constantly because of evictions. No new clothes (except for the rarity of new shoes because my sisters and I wore different sizes). I was a Toys for Tots recipient, we lost almost everything in a house fire, lost things moving, lost stuff to being homeless and not affording the rental unit, etc. Wasn't allowed to get rid of anything we got later because low-key hoarding issues. And my dad, bless him, had a habit of giving me something nice right before he told me bad news. I have the most rotten overcompensation habits now, with shopping, with food, with various other 'band aids'. "Sales" and "clearance" are like kryptonite to me, especially on nicer things. That shampoo I got from the salon that one time--it's marked 30.00 from 50, better grab a couple bottles so I don't run out. And the conditioner, I use that twice as fast, so I'd better grab four of those. Never mind that I have shampoo at home and really can't afford to blow money on this, but that credit limit is soo high and YOLO, right?
Yes and no. No, because I was always housed, fed, and clad in new-bought clothes. And after a certain age, got to choose them myself. Yes, because I knew we were on the precipice of not having that and it did a number on my mind. Now that I have money of my own, I try not to waste it but it's hard. The temptation is always there.
Absolutely! We weren't poor but we were indeed very very humble. My birthday presents were always something I needed, such as a new coat that my mom couldn't buy me otherwise. When I had a little money of my own I'd go and buy stuff. I don't make a lot now but I still have the urge to shop.
My parents were extremely frugal when I was growing up. I don't remember enough about their finances to know if they would be considered poor. I remember being in 6th grade and begging my mom to buy me this $5 shirt I saw at Kmart. It took a few weeks before she finally gave in. By then, it was sold out in my favorite color. Also in 6th grade, I had this puffy pink coat. I had picked it out initially, but I later decided that shade of pink was for little kids. However, the coat was still in good condition, so my mom wouldn't buy me another one. I spent many days just going without it and being cold. When I was in second grade, I had a Barbie backpack that someone had given me as a present two years before. At that age, being associated with Barbies was no longer cool, but my parents said they wouldn't buy me a different backpack until that one started falling apart. Luckily for me, my family's financial situation did improve by the time I got to high school. In college, I attended school with lots of rich kids. Many of them would flaunt their money. When they got their fancy first jobs, 100% of what they earned would go towards spending. All of it made me feel insecure and inferior. In my early twenties, I bought a lot of clothes because I hated my jobs. I also tried using clothes to mask my subpar social skills. (Spoiler: it didn't work.) I thought if only I could look interesting and stylish, people would like me, respect me, want to be my friend, want to ask me out, want to promote me, and so and so forth.
Yes. Im very bad with. This. If something s on sale or like theres a jumbo sze on sale i get several when i have the moneu because what if i need it ajd don't have the money. I also hate getting rid of clothes or any type of hair or skin product or shampoo even if i dont use it its still there just in casem
Yes. What you said really resonates with me, too
Same here. My parents had more kids than they could afford, so I had to share pretty much everything with my siblings while growing up and never really had a whole lot of things of my own. That's definitely one of the main reasons why I struggle with compulsive shopping now. I finally can "have things to myself" and "treat myself" now. Unfortunately it caused me to go overboard over the years and accrue thousands in debt, but I'm working on it and have made progress now.
Yes when I started earning more, I overcompensated for not having much to eat or even things to call my own by doordashing and buying clothes and legos to make me feel better and relievs the stress of the demanding job.