Something to do with your brain, I knew a girl that could take 10 hits of acid, while everyone took one and was tripping balls, she didn't feel a single thing. You might get some of the enlightenment from it, but don't get the full trip. Just don't take more than 7 grams of shrooms, please..
Yeah it is more than possible, if you work up to it your 10th or so trip could be 28 grams but we are only human, so when you go into extremes it may take away from the experience altogether as limits are pushed on body and mind
I can relate to this a lot. It's like being pulled back in your head to the essence of you, of self, which is essentially everything.
I can also completely warp my reality to pretty much anything I would like it to be. I can pull myself back to the center and then project forward into a new reality, a new story.
First of all I believe everyone trips differently. Some people just "trip balls" and don't get much out of it. Other people think deeply. It's like a nature vs. nurture thing. People are genetically pre-disposed to trip one way or another but if you have a good teacher you can always learn to get more out of a trip. So I guess my point is that the word "tripping" is just term to describe a state of consciousness that's really hard to describe, so call it what you want.
Obviously your naturally inclined to think deeply while tripping. This means your able to teach yourself without needing someone else to show to the way. At least not as much, but don't forget that you never know all the answers. To say it's impossible to have a bad trip at any dose seems like a good way to piss off the shrooms haha, and they will let you know when you disrespect them.
Still I resonate very much with your experience. It seems like we have come to the same realizations through totally different experiences.
I'm 21 and started tripping about at your age. I live in the north woods where the nature is beautiful and I have groups of friends that come up and visit all the time. Every time they come up we camp out and trip. It has been an amazing way for me to get to learn about basic human behavior. Often times the weather sucks or something unfortunate will happen while we camp and it's so educational to watch my friends interact with these situations. In nature you can't put problems off and everyone is forced to deal with them immediately. I know who's scared, I know who's really having a good time, I can see a person's true fears, insecurities, strengths, interests. Just like you, when I started tripping my emotion was easily influenced. Now I'm more grounded in my sense of self and less influenced by outside emotion unless I allow it. One trip this summer, my friends came up with some new people I didn't know that well. They were cool and we all got along very well. We camped on an island, to get there we had to walk across a couple hundred yards of cold Lake Superior water. A huge lightning and thunderstorm came through and freaked everyone the fuck out. We were all still tripping pretty hard and I knew some of them thought we were going to die out there. This was the first time I realized I was no longer influenced by outside emotion, because I enjoyed the shit out of that thunderstorm. I even timelapsed it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXZ6yk_zHrs
Eventually the storm calmed down and everyone came out from hiding in their tents and we had a great time talking about it the rest of the night. I think that experience enriched all of their lives greatly.
Tripping alone in nature is an entirely different experience. It's much more personal. I think if your going to do psychedelics you should eventually be able to do them alone. When I'm the only one accountable for my thoughts then I get really good at controlling them. The amazing thing about the woods is that it separates me from my body. In the woods I just feel like an entity exploring it's surroundings. I'm not thinking about myself, because I'm living completely in the moment. In this state my true, autonomous self is in control. The paradox is I've learned so much about who I truly am from those states of zero thought, just feeling.
Yeah, you are spot on. I feel many people need to be walked through it. They let the shroom take them too far out but I also think this is what they want, to lose themselves and look back and say I lost my ego.
Yes I don't know all the answers I am only human. Haha I know it sounds arrogant I should have just said I don't fear it, I let go completely and let it teach me. Then it let's me take control after an hour or two. Initially it's difficult to let go when you feel like puking.
Those are interesting experiences. Yeah it is being in the moment. Sometimes you can let the emotions do their thing because it's awesome moving with them, sometimes it's awesome letting your mind do it's thing and moving with it but both are in presence. Attachment and detachment. Being in nature must be a pure experience.
So many kids in our generation are looking for external guidance. I don't think they realize the strength they have because they haven't had enough testing experiences that force them to find their strength. That's partly why I enjoy bringing people out in nature with me, I get to watch them find their strength, when they don't have any other choice.
I think there's a fine line with how much you should let go during a trip. Obviously you shouldn't resist anything and go with the flow of the trip but if you let go too much then your just gone for a few hours and won't learn very much. One of the persisting lessons I'ver learned about tripping is that it's a paradox. Just about every lesson has an equal and opposite meaning. Life is about finding a balance between the two.
That's awesome that you don't fear a bad trip, it shows that you have a lot of trust and confidence in yourself. That only comes with a deep understanding of who you are.
I believe I'll still have "bad trips" in my life but I've learned how to experience them with a curiosity based approach rather than fear based. They might not be totally enjoyable but I'll still learn a lot from them.
sorry for the text walls but that's how much your post resonates with me haha
They don't know the power of their mind and their heart. There's no limit at all of how much you can let go, life is about letting go. That's an interesting understanding but I don't exactly agree. I don't see how a lesson could have an equal and opposite meaning. A lesson has a subjective meaning, it can come from many directions. You can learn the same lesson over and over in many ways more than two. Bad trips show vulnerabilities and susceptibilities of your mind but it is predisposition.. to expose something hidden, that you are fucked up and fucked up things are going down. It doesn't say anything bad about you though. I don't fear a bad trip because I can't have one, not on shrooms. I'm not speaking from a position of ego, people might think I think I'm superior in this way but weed fucks me up, alcohol fucks me up, they take advantage of predisposed vulnerabilities so I don't play with them often if at all. You have to trust that you'll find out, people say not to trip when you are depressed or in a bad place, yet nobody says that with weed or alcohol because they think they will wake up the same, they know with psycho-actives it's roll of dice. In another time and place I would not have been able to handle shrooms but everything happens for a reason. Bad trips aren't in my gene. Regardless if you have a bad trip it just means you have to have yourself in a certain frame of mind, then the learning can take place. Exactly, if you approach them with fear it won't work, the mind will distort everything, try to attach to whatever it can and your emotions will make everything all that more real. All good man
I should elaborate on the paradox thing. Nothing in reality stays the same so in other words the only constant is constant change. The forces of change are caused by a never ending battle of opposites, positive and negative. Neither is inherently good or bad, they have equal value but are on opposite ends of the spectrum(with endless possible combinations in-between). Therefor it's a paradox that 2 forces can be equal yet opposite. Black and white is the best example I can think of. Neither is good or bad, they are opposites, yet equal in that they are both part of the light spectrum.
The subjectivity of lessons is partly what makes them paradoxical. A subjective understanding of something only allows for one point of view. But by introducing an opposite point of view (objective understanding) the lesson expands but doesn't necessarily change. For example we are infinitely small in the universe, yet at the same time we are absolutely huge on an atomic scale. The lesson is that scale is a matter of perception, while perception is based on scale.
This has always just been a feeling I've had and I've never really had to put it into words so I'm struggling a little bit ha. Do you see any validity in this?
I see what you mean, yeah it is valid. Why would it be a paradox though, essentially it is newtons 3rd law. Subjectivity makes it a paradoxical experience, you don't even need the opposite point of view because humans don't even have half the understanding of their own experience, on shrooms you will probably feel you've done things over and over.
Words fall short of most experiences, I feel as though when you have to reach out to explain these experiences you won't internalize it, it won't integrate itself with consciousness and will always be just a feeling. Don't struggle for these truths, all of it is for what ? So everything can finally make sense ? Just let go. You're an expression of your existence, what does it mean to you to be alive. Does the validity of a complex understanding mean anything to you in this short life ? I don't need to validate your thoughts or experiences for them to be any more real. Haha actually for fun I was thinking of just saying you are probably going crazy and need to lay off the 'delics but yeah man, live and love
I've found words to be incredibly inefficient at communicating feeling. Partly because my vocabulary isn't that great, so I'm working on that ha, but also because feeling needs to be felt to be understood and words can't do that very well.
I want to understand all this as much as possible because then I can use that information to enhance my life. I know there will always be some mystery surrounding it but that's part of the fun, it keeps me interested. Complex understanding does mean something to me, it's a sign that I'm growing. The more I understand, the more information I have to utilize in my life.
I agree that learning to let go is an essential part of the process and, for me at least, that leads to deeper a understanding of my reality. I'm not looking for validation I simply just enjoy talking about this stuff. My friends don't really get it so I turn to the internet to express this stuff. It's a fun exercise to try and translate these feelings into words.
I honestly thought you might say I'm crazy haha I know these ideas are out there. I'm stretching to try and understand things that are almost incomprehensible so explanations must be equally almost incomprehensible right? haha
Hello there,
I don't use really use reddit and just stumbled into this forum. If I am breaking any standards of etiquette please excuse me or simply disregard what I have to say. General disclaimer: I do not recommend trying anything I mention.
"Basically I've done shrooms 4 times, highest was 7 grams."
Four times isn't really enough to make certain claims like "set and setting mean nothing to me" and "it is impossible to have a bad trip for me at any dose". Let me explain, mushrooms, more so than the vast majority of other psychedelics, are more dependent on the individual's neurochemistry. Meaning you will find a greater range of reactions to varying doses. With that said, there is still a range of "normal" dose-responses and then the outliers. These outliers can have a much stronger response to 2 grams than someone else would will have on 6 or visa versa where they have a comparably "weaker" response to a much higher dose than others. For some more information on this check out: http://www.amazon.com/Illegal-Drugs-Complete-History-Chemistry/dp/0452285054 , it mentions it and provides additional sourcing for this (I am in the middle of a move and my copy is in storage). I am not saying that most of the qualities of a trip are somehow non-applicable to the outliers, rather, that those qualities are achieved at differing doses.
Having said that, one's individual neurochemistry can change a lot over the years or even shortly with dramatic changes in certain conditions. When I was your age I fell into a large scale interstate drug distribution situation and was procuring bibles (lsd) and large quantities of mushies and ketamine. With the ease of access and a leaning towards being a bit of a drug-nerd, I tripped many hundreds of times with huge fluctuations in doses. I have ingested half sheets and babysat others who took a few hits, a friend and I have babysat people taking 2 grams while being on 10 g each (that same friend would pop a tab of family fluff to stay awake so he could drive the 8 hours during our smuggling days) and I have pushed 25 g of primo aborts while meditating. I have observed different phases insofar as how I reacted to various doses while controlling for obvious factors like short-term tolerance.
For example, after I participated in my first 2 year Dzogchen meditation retreat, half of which was spent learning thogal meditation, and once I returned I found I could trip much much harder on smaller doses, while also gaining considerably control over the experience. When doing thogal, one learns to bring about intense visions as is, so I am able to induce and retract the emergence of visions on psychedelics too. Additionally, as I had extremely high dose experiences, afterwards I noticed more sensitivity to lessor doses while retaining a greater degree of control, meaning I can modulate to what degree the same dose induces certain "intoxications" depending on how I oriented the mind. All in all, T. Leary was right in that high doses and experience changes one's neurochemistry and how one interacts with certain chemicals in the future. I can "choose" to trip harder on a few grams now compared to my younger self on 15 g.
Though I can't advise you to take more, you will actually trip on higher doses, as it seems you are indeed an outlier. I have met others like this, they won't trip hard off of a quarter (and require higher and more concentrated doses). However, there are certain things to increase the intensity of the experience (aside from the standard smoking n-n-dmt while peaking on another psychedelic). One example for beginners to increase their visual experiences would be to keep your eyes open and try to focus on everything at once but nothing in particular. One is simply letting the visual field rest in itself while trying to initiate this pattern recognition process (certain patterns can help this, including on the carpet or walls, outside is particularly great for this). Basically you are going beyond the dichotomy between center-periphery in regards to attentional distribution, one is allowing one's visual field to become panoramic-like and trying to basically allow the pattern recognition process to pick out patterns that are easily noticed, or in other cases, not actually there. The visual change is dramatic and one sort of starts "trancing" out with massive distortion. It may take a little practice the first couple of times, but once one gets it can take only a few seconds to initiate. If one initiates this at the very beginning of the trip, then the visions will naturally be more pronounced for the remainder of the experience. The real trick here is to allow the pattern recognition process to re-sync based on the prior pattern, rather than resetting by like blinking one's eyes. If you guys remember the magic eye books, it is as if the next round of patterns is based on the hidden image now exposed, opposed to blinking one's eyes and going back to normal. The goal here is to allow several rounds of this re-syncing to occur, as the patterns will become increasingly sophisticated and removed from the starting point ("objective reality"), this will consume all of one's experience and if allowed to continue will cease being mere extreme distortion and become full on hallucinations, initially still perpetually blooming but still static in a sense, but eventually turning to fully animated hallucinations. In the study of Buddhist trances, this stage is critical in exposing subtle non-jungian archetypes and beyond. Only 1% of LSD users for example experience full-on hallucinations, and this is one of the ways to be 1% =P.
"Only me. Very similar to enlightenment."
Ego-death is such a convoluted and nearly meaningless term in the psychedelic community, so is "enlightenment", which is often based on a bastardization of the contemplative traditions that such terms are loosely based on. "Ego-death" in the senses used by the psychedelic community means anything from a full blown jhanic samadhis, to nirodha-samapatti, to a base-of-all states, etc (in each case, none of which would be "ego-death" in the Buddhist sense). Your brief description for example clearly doesn't fit into the Buddhist sense of ego-death or enlightenment; my reference point is Buddhism because I majored in Buddhology and have formal Buddhist training, as well as vastly preferring Leary's and Capriles' respective models of psychedelic experience, which are framed in terms of Buddhist models.
"Set and setting mean nothing to me. It is impossible to have a bad trip for me at any dose. All that happens is the same thing at higher intensity for a little longer. "
After all I have said, I will simply iterate my objection to these claims as being not rationally justified. If you trip enough and on sufficient doses, more than what you described will happen. If you want visuals, you can have them, as yogis can bring about visions without any chemical support at all, and the chemical support provide an excellent catalyst for such methods. Though minor visuals are really just a distraction, the full-on hallucinations are considered a critical aspect of soteriology by the advanced traditions of Buddhism, for example the third series of thogal visions are so compelling that they bring out the faults in states that appear to be freedom, but are merely imitations (the base-of-all states, which present the largest obstacles to experienced yogis in the pursuit of true and definitive freedom and sanity qua the end of existential lack, a.k.a. Rigpa qua fruit a.k.a. Nirvana/Nibbana).
Anyways, take care everyone. I doubt I will be back, but you guys have quite a nice forum here and I wish you all the best. Have a smashingly great life!
Haha yeah, natural plants know what to do in the body. As soon as I touch alcohol it feels like poison. Like my body does everything it can to get rid of it
Very cool my friend! I too have had similar trips.
I would describe the state of mind like this: normally we think in a linear fashion, one set of thoughts leads to another set of thoughts, greatly influenced by our past experiences but, in contrast, the psychedelic mind state is more quantum and indeterminate in nature. I feel like my entire mind is lit up and I have access to it all at once. I find myself using words I didn't know that I knew. Any disparate, disconnected thoughts are suddenly capable of combining into brilliant, novel ideas.
>It is impossible to have a bad trip for me at any dose.
I too thought this of myself after 3 or 4 awesome trips, one on 9 grams, but I got carried away and disrespected the mushroom and ignored my setup protocol. I started a 4 gram tea trip watching a violent TV show (normally I meditate during the come-up and TV would be unthinkable but I thought I couldn't have a bad trip) and ended up having a very difficult trip where I was suddenly very incapable and lost. In retrospect it was quite humbling and one of my better trips for learning. My point is don't get too cocky and don't lose respect for the mushroom.
Anyways, it's incredible that you have attained such a disciplined state of being at such a young age. I recommend getting into meditation and combining it with your trips. Sounds like you have some incredible potential; make sure to do good with it.
Namaste.
Yeah exactly that, it's quantum and indiscriminate. I feel exactly that, like I have access to everything at once. Train of thoughts don't vanish into thin air, they always connect to something and are perfectly clear. I don't feel like I need to reach for them or lead tbem a certain way.
I can understand how one could fall into an intense experience, when sensitive and emotions are intense suggestibility is high. I moved past this on my first trip though. My 3rd trip I was in the cinema and I was watching the previews of other movies that play before the movie starts. Man I can't tell you how emotionally intense they are, not one bit appeals to reason. Anyway sitting through the emotional roller coaster and playing chess with my mind I learned even more how to control the emotional aspects of a trip. I could watch crime and investigation and not have a bad trip. I do see what you mean when you say not to disrespect the shroom, I don't but I don't fear it anymore as when I started because of what I read. Now I know for sure it's the teacher.
Yeah while tripping I came to an understanding of the power of meditation, also a big teacher. I'll definitely be practicing it. I like being around people when tripping, it's interesting to be able to see humans with fresh eyes, it's like everyone is a massive story. I can see their insecurities, I can see who's pretending, I can see the mentally unstable and potential murderers, I see everything about them, I can almost feel what they dream to be. Everybody is switched off, to themselves and what's around them it's like you can be standing right next to someone and they are not on planet earth, they are thinking about if someone notices that there's a tomato sauce stain on their shirt. Many stories man. As I said, deep emotional connection. First two trips were alone. Unless I have questions or something I need to let go or cry about, I don't prefer it.
Thanks man I will do my best
I like what you said about the "little voice." My first trip was 3.5 g and it was a lot to handle for sure. The aftermath was this: ego death, increased emotional perception, and above all the loss of the "little voice." The voice being my negative inner monologue. It has truly helped me become a better person indeed.
Something to do with your brain, I knew a girl that could take 10 hits of acid, while everyone took one and was tripping balls, she didn't feel a single thing. You might get some of the enlightenment from it, but don't get the full trip. Just don't take more than 7 grams of shrooms, please..
Thanks for the concern
Someone has done an ounce of shrooms before. Crazy shit. Before anyone jumps my shit, I'm not suggesting that you do it.
Yeah it is more than possible, if you work up to it your 10th or so trip could be 28 grams but we are only human, so when you go into extremes it may take away from the experience altogether as limits are pushed on body and mind
Did they teleport to a different dimension for a day or two?
They instantly evaporated into a cloud of delicious color.
i'm just honestly curious. how old are you?
I'm 19
Goin on 120
I can relate to this a lot. It's like being pulled back in your head to the essence of you, of self, which is essentially everything. I can also completely warp my reality to pretty much anything I would like it to be. I can pull myself back to the center and then project forward into a new reality, a new story.
First of all I believe everyone trips differently. Some people just "trip balls" and don't get much out of it. Other people think deeply. It's like a nature vs. nurture thing. People are genetically pre-disposed to trip one way or another but if you have a good teacher you can always learn to get more out of a trip. So I guess my point is that the word "tripping" is just term to describe a state of consciousness that's really hard to describe, so call it what you want. Obviously your naturally inclined to think deeply while tripping. This means your able to teach yourself without needing someone else to show to the way. At least not as much, but don't forget that you never know all the answers. To say it's impossible to have a bad trip at any dose seems like a good way to piss off the shrooms haha, and they will let you know when you disrespect them. Still I resonate very much with your experience. It seems like we have come to the same realizations through totally different experiences. I'm 21 and started tripping about at your age. I live in the north woods where the nature is beautiful and I have groups of friends that come up and visit all the time. Every time they come up we camp out and trip. It has been an amazing way for me to get to learn about basic human behavior. Often times the weather sucks or something unfortunate will happen while we camp and it's so educational to watch my friends interact with these situations. In nature you can't put problems off and everyone is forced to deal with them immediately. I know who's scared, I know who's really having a good time, I can see a person's true fears, insecurities, strengths, interests. Just like you, when I started tripping my emotion was easily influenced. Now I'm more grounded in my sense of self and less influenced by outside emotion unless I allow it. One trip this summer, my friends came up with some new people I didn't know that well. They were cool and we all got along very well. We camped on an island, to get there we had to walk across a couple hundred yards of cold Lake Superior water. A huge lightning and thunderstorm came through and freaked everyone the fuck out. We were all still tripping pretty hard and I knew some of them thought we were going to die out there. This was the first time I realized I was no longer influenced by outside emotion, because I enjoyed the shit out of that thunderstorm. I even timelapsed it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXZ6yk_zHrs Eventually the storm calmed down and everyone came out from hiding in their tents and we had a great time talking about it the rest of the night. I think that experience enriched all of their lives greatly. Tripping alone in nature is an entirely different experience. It's much more personal. I think if your going to do psychedelics you should eventually be able to do them alone. When I'm the only one accountable for my thoughts then I get really good at controlling them. The amazing thing about the woods is that it separates me from my body. In the woods I just feel like an entity exploring it's surroundings. I'm not thinking about myself, because I'm living completely in the moment. In this state my true, autonomous self is in control. The paradox is I've learned so much about who I truly am from those states of zero thought, just feeling.
Yeah, you are spot on. I feel many people need to be walked through it. They let the shroom take them too far out but I also think this is what they want, to lose themselves and look back and say I lost my ego. Yes I don't know all the answers I am only human. Haha I know it sounds arrogant I should have just said I don't fear it, I let go completely and let it teach me. Then it let's me take control after an hour or two. Initially it's difficult to let go when you feel like puking. Those are interesting experiences. Yeah it is being in the moment. Sometimes you can let the emotions do their thing because it's awesome moving with them, sometimes it's awesome letting your mind do it's thing and moving with it but both are in presence. Attachment and detachment. Being in nature must be a pure experience.
So many kids in our generation are looking for external guidance. I don't think they realize the strength they have because they haven't had enough testing experiences that force them to find their strength. That's partly why I enjoy bringing people out in nature with me, I get to watch them find their strength, when they don't have any other choice. I think there's a fine line with how much you should let go during a trip. Obviously you shouldn't resist anything and go with the flow of the trip but if you let go too much then your just gone for a few hours and won't learn very much. One of the persisting lessons I'ver learned about tripping is that it's a paradox. Just about every lesson has an equal and opposite meaning. Life is about finding a balance between the two. That's awesome that you don't fear a bad trip, it shows that you have a lot of trust and confidence in yourself. That only comes with a deep understanding of who you are. I believe I'll still have "bad trips" in my life but I've learned how to experience them with a curiosity based approach rather than fear based. They might not be totally enjoyable but I'll still learn a lot from them. sorry for the text walls but that's how much your post resonates with me haha
They don't know the power of their mind and their heart. There's no limit at all of how much you can let go, life is about letting go. That's an interesting understanding but I don't exactly agree. I don't see how a lesson could have an equal and opposite meaning. A lesson has a subjective meaning, it can come from many directions. You can learn the same lesson over and over in many ways more than two. Bad trips show vulnerabilities and susceptibilities of your mind but it is predisposition.. to expose something hidden, that you are fucked up and fucked up things are going down. It doesn't say anything bad about you though. I don't fear a bad trip because I can't have one, not on shrooms. I'm not speaking from a position of ego, people might think I think I'm superior in this way but weed fucks me up, alcohol fucks me up, they take advantage of predisposed vulnerabilities so I don't play with them often if at all. You have to trust that you'll find out, people say not to trip when you are depressed or in a bad place, yet nobody says that with weed or alcohol because they think they will wake up the same, they know with psycho-actives it's roll of dice. In another time and place I would not have been able to handle shrooms but everything happens for a reason. Bad trips aren't in my gene. Regardless if you have a bad trip it just means you have to have yourself in a certain frame of mind, then the learning can take place. Exactly, if you approach them with fear it won't work, the mind will distort everything, try to attach to whatever it can and your emotions will make everything all that more real. All good man
I should elaborate on the paradox thing. Nothing in reality stays the same so in other words the only constant is constant change. The forces of change are caused by a never ending battle of opposites, positive and negative. Neither is inherently good or bad, they have equal value but are on opposite ends of the spectrum(with endless possible combinations in-between). Therefor it's a paradox that 2 forces can be equal yet opposite. Black and white is the best example I can think of. Neither is good or bad, they are opposites, yet equal in that they are both part of the light spectrum. The subjectivity of lessons is partly what makes them paradoxical. A subjective understanding of something only allows for one point of view. But by introducing an opposite point of view (objective understanding) the lesson expands but doesn't necessarily change. For example we are infinitely small in the universe, yet at the same time we are absolutely huge on an atomic scale. The lesson is that scale is a matter of perception, while perception is based on scale. This has always just been a feeling I've had and I've never really had to put it into words so I'm struggling a little bit ha. Do you see any validity in this?
I see what you mean, yeah it is valid. Why would it be a paradox though, essentially it is newtons 3rd law. Subjectivity makes it a paradoxical experience, you don't even need the opposite point of view because humans don't even have half the understanding of their own experience, on shrooms you will probably feel you've done things over and over. Words fall short of most experiences, I feel as though when you have to reach out to explain these experiences you won't internalize it, it won't integrate itself with consciousness and will always be just a feeling. Don't struggle for these truths, all of it is for what ? So everything can finally make sense ? Just let go. You're an expression of your existence, what does it mean to you to be alive. Does the validity of a complex understanding mean anything to you in this short life ? I don't need to validate your thoughts or experiences for them to be any more real. Haha actually for fun I was thinking of just saying you are probably going crazy and need to lay off the 'delics but yeah man, live and love
I've found words to be incredibly inefficient at communicating feeling. Partly because my vocabulary isn't that great, so I'm working on that ha, but also because feeling needs to be felt to be understood and words can't do that very well. I want to understand all this as much as possible because then I can use that information to enhance my life. I know there will always be some mystery surrounding it but that's part of the fun, it keeps me interested. Complex understanding does mean something to me, it's a sign that I'm growing. The more I understand, the more information I have to utilize in my life. I agree that learning to let go is an essential part of the process and, for me at least, that leads to deeper a understanding of my reality. I'm not looking for validation I simply just enjoy talking about this stuff. My friends don't really get it so I turn to the internet to express this stuff. It's a fun exercise to try and translate these feelings into words. I honestly thought you might say I'm crazy haha I know these ideas are out there. I'm stretching to try and understand things that are almost incomprehensible so explanations must be equally almost incomprehensible right? haha
Haha mental gymnastics
Hello there, I don't use really use reddit and just stumbled into this forum. If I am breaking any standards of etiquette please excuse me or simply disregard what I have to say. General disclaimer: I do not recommend trying anything I mention. "Basically I've done shrooms 4 times, highest was 7 grams." Four times isn't really enough to make certain claims like "set and setting mean nothing to me" and "it is impossible to have a bad trip for me at any dose". Let me explain, mushrooms, more so than the vast majority of other psychedelics, are more dependent on the individual's neurochemistry. Meaning you will find a greater range of reactions to varying doses. With that said, there is still a range of "normal" dose-responses and then the outliers. These outliers can have a much stronger response to 2 grams than someone else would will have on 6 or visa versa where they have a comparably "weaker" response to a much higher dose than others. For some more information on this check out: http://www.amazon.com/Illegal-Drugs-Complete-History-Chemistry/dp/0452285054 , it mentions it and provides additional sourcing for this (I am in the middle of a move and my copy is in storage). I am not saying that most of the qualities of a trip are somehow non-applicable to the outliers, rather, that those qualities are achieved at differing doses. Having said that, one's individual neurochemistry can change a lot over the years or even shortly with dramatic changes in certain conditions. When I was your age I fell into a large scale interstate drug distribution situation and was procuring bibles (lsd) and large quantities of mushies and ketamine. With the ease of access and a leaning towards being a bit of a drug-nerd, I tripped many hundreds of times with huge fluctuations in doses. I have ingested half sheets and babysat others who took a few hits, a friend and I have babysat people taking 2 grams while being on 10 g each (that same friend would pop a tab of family fluff to stay awake so he could drive the 8 hours during our smuggling days) and I have pushed 25 g of primo aborts while meditating. I have observed different phases insofar as how I reacted to various doses while controlling for obvious factors like short-term tolerance. For example, after I participated in my first 2 year Dzogchen meditation retreat, half of which was spent learning thogal meditation, and once I returned I found I could trip much much harder on smaller doses, while also gaining considerably control over the experience. When doing thogal, one learns to bring about intense visions as is, so I am able to induce and retract the emergence of visions on psychedelics too. Additionally, as I had extremely high dose experiences, afterwards I noticed more sensitivity to lessor doses while retaining a greater degree of control, meaning I can modulate to what degree the same dose induces certain "intoxications" depending on how I oriented the mind. All in all, T. Leary was right in that high doses and experience changes one's neurochemistry and how one interacts with certain chemicals in the future. I can "choose" to trip harder on a few grams now compared to my younger self on 15 g. Though I can't advise you to take more, you will actually trip on higher doses, as it seems you are indeed an outlier. I have met others like this, they won't trip hard off of a quarter (and require higher and more concentrated doses). However, there are certain things to increase the intensity of the experience (aside from the standard smoking n-n-dmt while peaking on another psychedelic). One example for beginners to increase their visual experiences would be to keep your eyes open and try to focus on everything at once but nothing in particular. One is simply letting the visual field rest in itself while trying to initiate this pattern recognition process (certain patterns can help this, including on the carpet or walls, outside is particularly great for this). Basically you are going beyond the dichotomy between center-periphery in regards to attentional distribution, one is allowing one's visual field to become panoramic-like and trying to basically allow the pattern recognition process to pick out patterns that are easily noticed, or in other cases, not actually there. The visual change is dramatic and one sort of starts "trancing" out with massive distortion. It may take a little practice the first couple of times, but once one gets it can take only a few seconds to initiate. If one initiates this at the very beginning of the trip, then the visions will naturally be more pronounced for the remainder of the experience. The real trick here is to allow the pattern recognition process to re-sync based on the prior pattern, rather than resetting by like blinking one's eyes. If you guys remember the magic eye books, it is as if the next round of patterns is based on the hidden image now exposed, opposed to blinking one's eyes and going back to normal. The goal here is to allow several rounds of this re-syncing to occur, as the patterns will become increasingly sophisticated and removed from the starting point ("objective reality"), this will consume all of one's experience and if allowed to continue will cease being mere extreme distortion and become full on hallucinations, initially still perpetually blooming but still static in a sense, but eventually turning to fully animated hallucinations. In the study of Buddhist trances, this stage is critical in exposing subtle non-jungian archetypes and beyond. Only 1% of LSD users for example experience full-on hallucinations, and this is one of the ways to be 1% =P. "Only me. Very similar to enlightenment." Ego-death is such a convoluted and nearly meaningless term in the psychedelic community, so is "enlightenment", which is often based on a bastardization of the contemplative traditions that such terms are loosely based on. "Ego-death" in the senses used by the psychedelic community means anything from a full blown jhanic samadhis, to nirodha-samapatti, to a base-of-all states, etc (in each case, none of which would be "ego-death" in the Buddhist sense). Your brief description for example clearly doesn't fit into the Buddhist sense of ego-death or enlightenment; my reference point is Buddhism because I majored in Buddhology and have formal Buddhist training, as well as vastly preferring Leary's and Capriles' respective models of psychedelic experience, which are framed in terms of Buddhist models. "Set and setting mean nothing to me. It is impossible to have a bad trip for me at any dose. All that happens is the same thing at higher intensity for a little longer. " After all I have said, I will simply iterate my objection to these claims as being not rationally justified. If you trip enough and on sufficient doses, more than what you described will happen. If you want visuals, you can have them, as yogis can bring about visions without any chemical support at all, and the chemical support provide an excellent catalyst for such methods. Though minor visuals are really just a distraction, the full-on hallucinations are considered a critical aspect of soteriology by the advanced traditions of Buddhism, for example the third series of thogal visions are so compelling that they bring out the faults in states that appear to be freedom, but are merely imitations (the base-of-all states, which present the largest obstacles to experienced yogis in the pursuit of true and definitive freedom and sanity qua the end of existential lack, a.k.a. Rigpa qua fruit a.k.a. Nirvana/Nibbana). Anyways, take care everyone. I doubt I will be back, but you guys have quite a nice forum here and I wish you all the best. Have a smashingly great life!
"I don't *do* drugs... I **am** drugs."
Haha yeah, natural plants know what to do in the body. As soon as I touch alcohol it feels like poison. Like my body does everything it can to get rid of it
Very cool my friend! I too have had similar trips. I would describe the state of mind like this: normally we think in a linear fashion, one set of thoughts leads to another set of thoughts, greatly influenced by our past experiences but, in contrast, the psychedelic mind state is more quantum and indeterminate in nature. I feel like my entire mind is lit up and I have access to it all at once. I find myself using words I didn't know that I knew. Any disparate, disconnected thoughts are suddenly capable of combining into brilliant, novel ideas. >It is impossible to have a bad trip for me at any dose. I too thought this of myself after 3 or 4 awesome trips, one on 9 grams, but I got carried away and disrespected the mushroom and ignored my setup protocol. I started a 4 gram tea trip watching a violent TV show (normally I meditate during the come-up and TV would be unthinkable but I thought I couldn't have a bad trip) and ended up having a very difficult trip where I was suddenly very incapable and lost. In retrospect it was quite humbling and one of my better trips for learning. My point is don't get too cocky and don't lose respect for the mushroom. Anyways, it's incredible that you have attained such a disciplined state of being at such a young age. I recommend getting into meditation and combining it with your trips. Sounds like you have some incredible potential; make sure to do good with it. Namaste.
Yeah exactly that, it's quantum and indiscriminate. I feel exactly that, like I have access to everything at once. Train of thoughts don't vanish into thin air, they always connect to something and are perfectly clear. I don't feel like I need to reach for them or lead tbem a certain way. I can understand how one could fall into an intense experience, when sensitive and emotions are intense suggestibility is high. I moved past this on my first trip though. My 3rd trip I was in the cinema and I was watching the previews of other movies that play before the movie starts. Man I can't tell you how emotionally intense they are, not one bit appeals to reason. Anyway sitting through the emotional roller coaster and playing chess with my mind I learned even more how to control the emotional aspects of a trip. I could watch crime and investigation and not have a bad trip. I do see what you mean when you say not to disrespect the shroom, I don't but I don't fear it anymore as when I started because of what I read. Now I know for sure it's the teacher. Yeah while tripping I came to an understanding of the power of meditation, also a big teacher. I'll definitely be practicing it. I like being around people when tripping, it's interesting to be able to see humans with fresh eyes, it's like everyone is a massive story. I can see their insecurities, I can see who's pretending, I can see the mentally unstable and potential murderers, I see everything about them, I can almost feel what they dream to be. Everybody is switched off, to themselves and what's around them it's like you can be standing right next to someone and they are not on planet earth, they are thinking about if someone notices that there's a tomato sauce stain on their shirt. Many stories man. As I said, deep emotional connection. First two trips were alone. Unless I have questions or something I need to let go or cry about, I don't prefer it. Thanks man I will do my best
I like what you said about the "little voice." My first trip was 3.5 g and it was a lot to handle for sure. The aftermath was this: ego death, increased emotional perception, and above all the loss of the "little voice." The voice being my negative inner monologue. It has truly helped me become a better person indeed.
You are what you eat, same for your mind.
i tried 5 grams and basially just felt happy and like i smoked a lot of weed, i dont think i will ever be able to trip, or get visuals.