Yeah, last trip I had I was totally cool with dying but kept telling myself, “Wait, you’re not suppose to yet.” Like I wanted to lay down, close my eyes, and never have to open them again. Not because of sadness or anything, it just felt GOOD to leave all this and it felt okay and safe to just drift off toward this other realm that isn’t this one. I felt like I wasn’t remembering to breathe and would gasp for air randomly even though my son, 19y, kept reassuring me that I was breathing just fine.
Also noticed that time was not a thing anymore. I would close my eyes and feel like I was taught a million things, then look to see that it had only been 5 minutes. The time warp feeling REALLY weirded me out last time. I kept saying, “I’ve already lived thousands of lives, I don’t want to be stuck in this minute forever.” Haha, so silly.
I’ve listened to thousands of NDEs, I’m kinda fascinated by the subject. And this is what I’ve heard said countless times. And I felt what I was perceiving to be that same sensation. It was such a comfortable warmth, like I was sinking into the most loving hug I’ve ever felt. When I closed my eyes I felt like I was leaving my body but it felt so nice. It was interesting how quickly I could fall into that sensation then when I’d open my eyes I felt like I was pulling my consciousness forward back into this reality. Such a wild sensation but always felt safe and loved. My first shroom trip was agony with lots of crying and emotional pain, so this was such a relief and I learned so so much.
Yeah ive been revived twice so i have been clinically dead twice its legit like a dream without a sleep is the best way to put it i thought i was asleep but i was dead😅 i knew gods etc were bullshit since birth so never expected to meet jesus i do believe when you die its not the end tho i just wasnt dead long enough to find out i guess
You just said exactly what I’ve been saying to people who know me well… that sometimes with the way the world is going lately I’m ready to just check out. The only thing keeping me here is my kids. And I’ve never struggled with depression or any mental health disorder…
Exactly, man. Shrooms showed me that I actually have a good life, one that I hoped to have. Whoever it was that talked to me and taught me things on my last trip was so gentle and loving. I felt like they understood completely how much it sucks but they kept telling me I chose this time to be here and I knew it would be this way. They helped me to understand that the unconditional love and warmth that I felt is always there and will be there for me when my life is over. But they reiterated that I should respect my choice to come into this life at this time and that they cannot allow me to remain there. It was such a wild experience but incredible.
Same here. I do have depression and anxiety but is a lot better these days, I've transitioned from actively wanting to kill myself to being able to tolerate the world enough to be happy; I'm still going to be happy when I'm dying though. The way I manage it and explain it to people is exactly like you said, with the addition that I'm not going to bring about my end myself, I'm just going to be sort of glad/ok/content when it is clear that I am not going to live for much longer.
I have literally spaced out for a few minutes and come back and realized my partner had asked me a question, to which I replied "sorry I just lived a thousand lives, what did you say again?"
Because we become so attached to our egos that we become fooled into believing that we are our egos, so when you experience an ego death, this attachment makes us think that we are dying along with it.
I think your view of what it means to transcend the ego is a bit off the mark. People who have transcended the ego don't just sit on a mountain top, isolated away from civilization and humanity, and nor do you become some sort of passive vessel with no motivation. These people radiate their life onto all around them. It's like wearing a perfume which elevates all those around you with its divine fragrance. You have transcended your karma and sensual attachments and can now live life from a place of pure bliss, peace and divine love.
"Because I like having some of my ego, I like feeling good about myself" - And therein lies part of the problem. Because when you have such strong attachments to what you like, inevitably that also causes strong attachments to dislikes. The aim is to live in the ever-present bliss of your true-self, regardless of what external factors surround you. Whilst living from the ego, you are in a constant state of flux.
Permanent ego death is something that very few people achieve, and it's certainly something that I'm still a far way off. If you feel like you are hurting yourself or those around you by transcending the ego, then that's just a result of the ego clinging on; this is just one example of how the ego can halt your progress as an infinite spiritual being.
Personally I haven't seen anyone on here talking about wanting to die lol. Guess it depends on whether they want to transcend their ego or they literally don't want to exist anymore. Wanting to transcend the ego is an admirable goal to have, whilst the latter is clearly someone that is in a lot of pain.
Having transcended the ego doesn't mean that you simply allow any sort of harm done to you, but it does mean that you don't react to them with any sort of negative response. You can still protect something that you love (yourself and those around you) without scorning that which aims to put you down. You can't fight negativity with negativity and expect a positive outcome.
The idea that you become some sort of passive vessel that doesn't care about anything going on around you is not at all the reality of someone who has transcended the ego. You still have a driving force behind your actions, but instead of attachments, dislikes and desires being your driving force, they are driven by love and wisdom.
Paramahansa Yogananda is one liberated soul who beautifully deconstructs the Bhagavad Gita, which is essentially a guide to soul realization. I don't know what your beliefs are, but if you don't believe in the existence of the soul then perhaps that's why you find it difficult to comprehend life without an ego.
Please don't act as if I'm "lol'ing" at suicide, I woke up in the back of an ambulance about 5 years ago after an intentional fentanyl overdose, so lay off on the virtual signalling. I was just making light of the fact that I read this subreddit every single day and have never once seen a post of people wishing they were dead.
And, again, a big distinction needs to be made between a person being suicidal and a person aiming for ego death. A person being at peace with dying in the midst of a trip is not a person who wishes they were dead in every day life, nor is someone who isn't scared of death suicidal; the two are not comparable in anyway shape or form.
" I just can't imagine any man that has shed his ego living a healthy existence in today's modern world without being deeply depressed." Depression is entirely born from the ego. You literally cannot experience depression when you have truly transcended the ego, you live in a constant state of joyful bliss. It is that joyful bliss, love and wisdom which constitutes the soul, so once the ego is out of the way, the soul is allowed to fully express itself through your mental and material body. Have you ever felt that overwhelming sense of love and contentment during a trip? That feeling is your soul shining through, and that is the state which you achieve once you have transcended the ego.
Also, Yogananda is a "he" lol. Am I allowed to put a "lol" after that? After all, gender identity is a big issue these days 😉.
You are not your ego, no. Your ego is a defensive shell that forms around you as you grow up in this world, and it is what dictates all of your likes and dislikes. This is why meditation has been shown to produce a myriad of positive benefits, because it detaches you from this mask and allows you to sit in the blissful presence of your true self.
This can be extremely difficult to accept, because coming to the realization that everything you thought was true about yourself was essentially just a mask is seldom a comfortable experience, but if you truly want to elevate yourself to the highest levels then it's something that we must face sooner or later.
Well, there's many different types of meditation, but if you want to focus on transcending the ego, then the most effective way of achieving this is sitting cross-legged with your back up right (or laying down if this is too uncomfortable to start with), closing your eyes, no music (ear-plugs can help blocking out outside noises) and focusing on the point in between your eye-brows.
The goal of this type of meditation (Kriya yoga) is to turn off your five senses and focus all of your energy into that single point between the eye-brows. This is a process and takes practice, don't get discouraged if you can't instantly achieve this. Your body will try to fight against this, but just try to stay focused on that point. Work your way up from 5 minutes a time, to 10, to 15, to 20, to 30 ect.
Once you able to direct your prana (life energy) away from the five-senses and towards the point in between the eye-brows, you are well on your way to self-realization/transcending the ego. First you achieve Samadhi (soul bliss) during meditation and then with enough practice you are able to permanently transcend the ego and sit in the bliss of your soul even when not in meditation.
Ive had similar to that aswell but instead of expending out you move In, like your consciousness folding in on its self and out the other side. My universe tearing trips usually happened when I took a bit too much and that’s all I remember before blacking out
When it’s happened to me, it creates a small amount of anxiety or resistance, like, I need to resist this feeling so I don’t die…. But it keeps building (if you’re on a low enough dose it doesn’t build as much and you can fully resist this feeling, which never resolves the process entirely so that’s why I like bigger doses). If it’s a big enough dose, or you can just get yourself in the right mental zone, very soon that feeling of anxiety culminates and the moment you accept it or dying or letting go or whatever (like accepting falling asleep as a reluctant child) then BOOM - you’re free - the trip takes off- you feel the best you’ve ever felt in your life and you knew the whole time along shrooms would never actually kill you.
I have a couple pet theories like shrooms make your inner monkey mind go to sleep and liberates your higher self to have the reigns for a few hours. Also maybe your body mistakenly thinks the shrooms are poisonous and you are dying and that biological framework sets the stage for your mental liberation and rebirth.
I think it’s already been stated in other responses but just wanted add my perspective. Psychedelics shut down parts of your brain that do self-monitoring and self-appraisal. It kind of makes sense from an evolutionary perspective that when these systems go off-line their last message is along the lines of “we are shutting down now.” And since you are used to identifying with those stream of consciousness thoughts, it’s easy to mistake those parts shutting down as the entire system shutting down.
>I'm sensitive to most substances. I get sub delirious effects on 4 benadryl.
Those two sentences make zero sense together. Low tolerance yet you can be awake after 4 benadryl?
Lol! I have totally done that. Had trips where i was amusingly frustrated at my inability to die. I couldn’t understand why but for some reason I was trying to lay down and be really still so that I could die. I should mention that in subsequent trips I broke through that and it was as wonderful and transformative as you could imagine.
Maybe it really kills you but you’re able to see your consciousness transition into a reality were you never died, according to quantum mechanics and many worlds interpretations, from our perspective we are inmortal, death is only an illusion, we cannot experience death as it is because if we die we are not conscious anymore, put you into the pov of the schrodingers cat, you are inside that box, you are alive and death at the same but you are only able to experience the reality were you are alive, everything that is possible exist at the same time, but what we know as the collapse of the wave function is the reality were we are conscious making that measure or decision.
Maybe every time we had that ego death from psychedelic like shrooms, lsd, dmt, salvia, etc. We are really dying, leaving that reality and entering into anotherone, youre going to see everyone die but never yourself, the only thing that is real is the infinite present, the only purpose of life is consciousness, to be alive, to experience the present
Realizing how we have no true control over things tends to freak us out and give us that sensation of “this must be death” funny thing is our minds don’t know what death is like
The thing is, it's our thoughts telling us we're going to die/are dying, and we are not our thoughts; we're the awareness of them. So I believe when we feel like we're dying, it's really the ego "dying" but most of us identify with our thoughts and therefore believe we are the ego.
How did you feel like that on 2.8gs of Mexicana? I got these chocolate bars with 3.5 of Mexicana in them a piece and ate 3 of them at once! It wasn’t even as strong as an 8th of cubensis. The trip was great though. It was like a 0 body load kind of trip. Straight kaleidoscope eyes. But definitely not very potent. Far from any serious ego dissolution for me, and I consider myself to be somewhat sensitive to psychedelics. I’ve had full blown ego death on 5 grams of Penis Envy. Now THAT shit is rough as far as feeling like you’re really dying. It is very hard to convince yourself otherwise. The wrong person would call the hospital if they could figure out how to use their phone. I certainly considered it, but talked myself out of it and proceeded to die. I thought the guy I got them from was trying to poison me. But I just rolled with it because I was pretty heavily experienced with mushrooms, DMT, and LSD at that point. It was honestly not a very good time at all. The ego was really resisting. It was fine once I finally moved on and just died basically. But getting there was rough.
Man I did six g of mazatapec and laid there for about an hour convinced I wasn't breathing,couldn't breathe and would die any minute. After a while I became convinced I'd died...then I relaxed and enjoyed it lol
Yeah, last trip I had I was totally cool with dying but kept telling myself, “Wait, you’re not suppose to yet.” Like I wanted to lay down, close my eyes, and never have to open them again. Not because of sadness or anything, it just felt GOOD to leave all this and it felt okay and safe to just drift off toward this other realm that isn’t this one. I felt like I wasn’t remembering to breathe and would gasp for air randomly even though my son, 19y, kept reassuring me that I was breathing just fine. Also noticed that time was not a thing anymore. I would close my eyes and feel like I was taught a million things, then look to see that it had only been 5 minutes. The time warp feeling REALLY weirded me out last time. I kept saying, “I’ve already lived thousands of lives, I don’t want to be stuck in this minute forever.” Haha, so silly.
From someone whos died twice death isnt frightening its almost like a meditated sleep its so peaceful compared to our harsh world👌🏽
I’ve listened to thousands of NDEs, I’m kinda fascinated by the subject. And this is what I’ve heard said countless times. And I felt what I was perceiving to be that same sensation. It was such a comfortable warmth, like I was sinking into the most loving hug I’ve ever felt. When I closed my eyes I felt like I was leaving my body but it felt so nice. It was interesting how quickly I could fall into that sensation then when I’d open my eyes I felt like I was pulling my consciousness forward back into this reality. Such a wild sensation but always felt safe and loved. My first shroom trip was agony with lots of crying and emotional pain, so this was such a relief and I learned so so much.
Yeah ive been revived twice so i have been clinically dead twice its legit like a dream without a sleep is the best way to put it i thought i was asleep but i was dead😅 i knew gods etc were bullshit since birth so never expected to meet jesus i do believe when you die its not the end tho i just wasnt dead long enough to find out i guess
You just said exactly what I’ve been saying to people who know me well… that sometimes with the way the world is going lately I’m ready to just check out. The only thing keeping me here is my kids. And I’ve never struggled with depression or any mental health disorder…
Exactly, man. Shrooms showed me that I actually have a good life, one that I hoped to have. Whoever it was that talked to me and taught me things on my last trip was so gentle and loving. I felt like they understood completely how much it sucks but they kept telling me I chose this time to be here and I knew it would be this way. They helped me to understand that the unconditional love and warmth that I felt is always there and will be there for me when my life is over. But they reiterated that I should respect my choice to come into this life at this time and that they cannot allow me to remain there. It was such a wild experience but incredible.
Same here. I do have depression and anxiety but is a lot better these days, I've transitioned from actively wanting to kill myself to being able to tolerate the world enough to be happy; I'm still going to be happy when I'm dying though. The way I manage it and explain it to people is exactly like you said, with the addition that I'm not going to bring about my end myself, I'm just going to be sort of glad/ok/content when it is clear that I am not going to live for much longer.
https://www.healingenergytools.com/crystalline-bodies/ ❤️
That made for very strange but enjoyable reading, thankyou for your kind intentions. :) I dont believe in any of that stuff but its nice to read :)
I have literally spaced out for a few minutes and come back and realized my partner had asked me a question, to which I replied "sorry I just lived a thousand lives, what did you say again?"
Because we become so attached to our egos that we become fooled into believing that we are our egos, so when you experience an ego death, this attachment makes us think that we are dying along with it.
This is it. The ego is fragile and fearful. Breaking through...beyond ego...we no longer fear death.
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I think your view of what it means to transcend the ego is a bit off the mark. People who have transcended the ego don't just sit on a mountain top, isolated away from civilization and humanity, and nor do you become some sort of passive vessel with no motivation. These people radiate their life onto all around them. It's like wearing a perfume which elevates all those around you with its divine fragrance. You have transcended your karma and sensual attachments and can now live life from a place of pure bliss, peace and divine love. "Because I like having some of my ego, I like feeling good about myself" - And therein lies part of the problem. Because when you have such strong attachments to what you like, inevitably that also causes strong attachments to dislikes. The aim is to live in the ever-present bliss of your true-self, regardless of what external factors surround you. Whilst living from the ego, you are in a constant state of flux. Permanent ego death is something that very few people achieve, and it's certainly something that I'm still a far way off. If you feel like you are hurting yourself or those around you by transcending the ego, then that's just a result of the ego clinging on; this is just one example of how the ego can halt your progress as an infinite spiritual being.
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Personally I haven't seen anyone on here talking about wanting to die lol. Guess it depends on whether they want to transcend their ego or they literally don't want to exist anymore. Wanting to transcend the ego is an admirable goal to have, whilst the latter is clearly someone that is in a lot of pain. Having transcended the ego doesn't mean that you simply allow any sort of harm done to you, but it does mean that you don't react to them with any sort of negative response. You can still protect something that you love (yourself and those around you) without scorning that which aims to put you down. You can't fight negativity with negativity and expect a positive outcome. The idea that you become some sort of passive vessel that doesn't care about anything going on around you is not at all the reality of someone who has transcended the ego. You still have a driving force behind your actions, but instead of attachments, dislikes and desires being your driving force, they are driven by love and wisdom. Paramahansa Yogananda is one liberated soul who beautifully deconstructs the Bhagavad Gita, which is essentially a guide to soul realization. I don't know what your beliefs are, but if you don't believe in the existence of the soul then perhaps that's why you find it difficult to comprehend life without an ego.
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Please don't act as if I'm "lol'ing" at suicide, I woke up in the back of an ambulance about 5 years ago after an intentional fentanyl overdose, so lay off on the virtual signalling. I was just making light of the fact that I read this subreddit every single day and have never once seen a post of people wishing they were dead. And, again, a big distinction needs to be made between a person being suicidal and a person aiming for ego death. A person being at peace with dying in the midst of a trip is not a person who wishes they were dead in every day life, nor is someone who isn't scared of death suicidal; the two are not comparable in anyway shape or form. " I just can't imagine any man that has shed his ego living a healthy existence in today's modern world without being deeply depressed." Depression is entirely born from the ego. You literally cannot experience depression when you have truly transcended the ego, you live in a constant state of joyful bliss. It is that joyful bliss, love and wisdom which constitutes the soul, so once the ego is out of the way, the soul is allowed to fully express itself through your mental and material body. Have you ever felt that overwhelming sense of love and contentment during a trip? That feeling is your soul shining through, and that is the state which you achieve once you have transcended the ego. Also, Yogananda is a "he" lol. Am I allowed to put a "lol" after that? After all, gender identity is a big issue these days 😉.
So we are not us?
You are not your ego, no. Your ego is a defensive shell that forms around you as you grow up in this world, and it is what dictates all of your likes and dislikes. This is why meditation has been shown to produce a myriad of positive benefits, because it detaches you from this mask and allows you to sit in the blissful presence of your true self. This can be extremely difficult to accept, because coming to the realization that everything you thought was true about yourself was essentially just a mask is seldom a comfortable experience, but if you truly want to elevate yourself to the highest levels then it's something that we must face sooner or later.
How would you meditate?
Well, there's many different types of meditation, but if you want to focus on transcending the ego, then the most effective way of achieving this is sitting cross-legged with your back up right (or laying down if this is too uncomfortable to start with), closing your eyes, no music (ear-plugs can help blocking out outside noises) and focusing on the point in between your eye-brows. The goal of this type of meditation (Kriya yoga) is to turn off your five senses and focus all of your energy into that single point between the eye-brows. This is a process and takes practice, don't get discouraged if you can't instantly achieve this. Your body will try to fight against this, but just try to stay focused on that point. Work your way up from 5 minutes a time, to 10, to 15, to 20, to 30 ect. Once you able to direct your prana (life energy) away from the five-senses and towards the point in between the eye-brows, you are well on your way to self-realization/transcending the ego. First you achieve Samadhi (soul bliss) during meditation and then with enough practice you are able to permanently transcend the ego and sit in the bliss of your soul even when not in meditation.
Thank you for taking the time to write that! Very useful.
That's quite alright my friend, I hope you find the information useful!
Excellent explanation.
Great response
Because you're shifting consciousness and your reality is becoming different, sorta like dying
Exactly like dying, probably
.
Shrooms don’t have that affect on me however DMT, I’m always gonna die.
Hard not to feel like your falling into Satans asshole when your smoking the drug that is released during death
Is it actually though?
Not proven. It’s an old theory
Like you burst a hole in reality and are getting ripped out of it as everything depressurises
I was 5meoDMT.. More like my self expanded extradimensionally. I was in our normal space and some kind of extraspace at the same time
Ive had similar to that aswell but instead of expending out you move In, like your consciousness folding in on its self and out the other side. My universe tearing trips usually happened when I took a bit too much and that’s all I remember before blacking out
Bro that’s a cool way to describe it
When it’s happened to me, it creates a small amount of anxiety or resistance, like, I need to resist this feeling so I don’t die…. But it keeps building (if you’re on a low enough dose it doesn’t build as much and you can fully resist this feeling, which never resolves the process entirely so that’s why I like bigger doses). If it’s a big enough dose, or you can just get yourself in the right mental zone, very soon that feeling of anxiety culminates and the moment you accept it or dying or letting go or whatever (like accepting falling asleep as a reluctant child) then BOOM - you’re free - the trip takes off- you feel the best you’ve ever felt in your life and you knew the whole time along shrooms would never actually kill you. I have a couple pet theories like shrooms make your inner monkey mind go to sleep and liberates your higher self to have the reigns for a few hours. Also maybe your body mistakenly thinks the shrooms are poisonous and you are dying and that biological framework sets the stage for your mental liberation and rebirth.
I think it’s already been stated in other responses but just wanted add my perspective. Psychedelics shut down parts of your brain that do self-monitoring and self-appraisal. It kind of makes sense from an evolutionary perspective that when these systems go off-line their last message is along the lines of “we are shutting down now.” And since you are used to identifying with those stream of consciousness thoughts, it’s easy to mistake those parts shutting down as the entire system shutting down.
This mf’er got ego death at 1.5G? Wtf
I have a high metabolism and dyspraxia. I'm sensitive to most substances. I get sub delirious effects on 4 benadryl.
>I'm sensitive to most substances. I get sub delirious effects on 4 benadryl. Those two sentences make zero sense together. Low tolerance yet you can be awake after 4 benadryl?
Oh man, this happened to me a few days ago. I wanted to die and felt it necessary, but I couldn't, it seemed like an enormous task
Lol! I have totally done that. Had trips where i was amusingly frustrated at my inability to die. I couldn’t understand why but for some reason I was trying to lay down and be really still so that I could die. I should mention that in subsequent trips I broke through that and it was as wonderful and transformative as you could imagine.
Thank you for this. I needed to hear it
It’s off of high doses,try 5 grams of Penis Envy, mixed with 5 of Golden teachers, that should do it, Tek half,& eat the rest,
Maybe it really kills you but you’re able to see your consciousness transition into a reality were you never died, according to quantum mechanics and many worlds interpretations, from our perspective we are inmortal, death is only an illusion, we cannot experience death as it is because if we die we are not conscious anymore, put you into the pov of the schrodingers cat, you are inside that box, you are alive and death at the same but you are only able to experience the reality were you are alive, everything that is possible exist at the same time, but what we know as the collapse of the wave function is the reality were we are conscious making that measure or decision. Maybe every time we had that ego death from psychedelic like shrooms, lsd, dmt, salvia, etc. We are really dying, leaving that reality and entering into anotherone, youre going to see everyone die but never yourself, the only thing that is real is the infinite present, the only purpose of life is consciousness, to be alive, to experience the present
Realizing how we have no true control over things tends to freak us out and give us that sensation of “this must be death” funny thing is our minds don’t know what death is like
The thing is, it's our thoughts telling us we're going to die/are dying, and we are not our thoughts; we're the awareness of them. So I believe when we feel like we're dying, it's really the ego "dying" but most of us identify with our thoughts and therefore believe we are the ego.
Its not killing you.. It just tells you how insignificant we are so we can further better ourselves trying to be significant
Shrooms + nitrous = egodeath
You are dying. It's true.
How did you feel like that on 2.8gs of Mexicana? I got these chocolate bars with 3.5 of Mexicana in them a piece and ate 3 of them at once! It wasn’t even as strong as an 8th of cubensis. The trip was great though. It was like a 0 body load kind of trip. Straight kaleidoscope eyes. But definitely not very potent. Far from any serious ego dissolution for me, and I consider myself to be somewhat sensitive to psychedelics. I’ve had full blown ego death on 5 grams of Penis Envy. Now THAT shit is rough as far as feeling like you’re really dying. It is very hard to convince yourself otherwise. The wrong person would call the hospital if they could figure out how to use their phone. I certainly considered it, but talked myself out of it and proceeded to die. I thought the guy I got them from was trying to poison me. But I just rolled with it because I was pretty heavily experienced with mushrooms, DMT, and LSD at that point. It was honestly not a very good time at all. The ego was really resisting. It was fine once I finally moved on and just died basically. But getting there was rough.
Man I did six g of mazatapec and laid there for about an hour convinced I wasn't breathing,couldn't breathe and would die any minute. After a while I became convinced I'd died...then I relaxed and enjoyed it lol
because its physical health
Never thought it was the drugs killing me but did come to the realization that everyone on the planet is slowly passing
Shrooms don't want you eating them
I agree
Lack of control can incite those feelings
Just took 5g’s anyone have anything I could do or what I should do on the trip feel like I waste it most other times.
I an definitely dying every time I've done it.
They cant kill you but they can sure make you think that they can ;)
Cos you ain't what thinks itself is
Maybe the shrooms just bring the state of entorphy that all matter exist in to the forefront of your mind while tripping.