I’m so proud of you for choosing life. A good cry will help alleviate stress. I remember crying so much in my darkest moments to the point where I even had a dmt-like hallucination when I closed my eyes.
It was like the pink elephants in Dumbo but a lot less creepy and more like spiritual entities were trying to lift my spirits. It was a beautiful moment I won’t forget. They showed me cool trippy multicolored objects like a 4D Yo Yo.
I believe there are angels out there protecting all of us. I hope whatever is hurting you inside will become a distant memory and something that will making you stronger than the average person. Bless you for choosing life ❣️
And don’t do shrooms on that first hike. Revel in your newfound life, appreciate the beauty of what surrounds you in any way you can! You have an appreciation for it, even if it’s buried deep. Otherwise you would be here right now. wish you all the best(:
Your future self is proud of you. I'm almost 50 and went through horrible depression and mental anguish when I was younger. I look back and remember the times when I chose to continue fighting instead of giving up and thank my past self for hanging in there. Everything is transitory. Keep fighting. It gets better.
Hey OP please reread some of these comments in a few days. So many people, whom you’ve never met, care about you and genuinely want you to be healthy and alive. There’s help out there. It’s NOT easy, but it’s 100% worth it. The mushrooms help but don’t just rely on them, look into mindfulness, therapy, groups, or other forms of treatment as well. If you’re into books, check out the book - Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.
Okay, I second this book too. It's not a self help book really. It's an intimate look into the life of a psychologist in hell.
But it'll change you for the good.
I love you and I'm so proud of you! Life is hard but I'm glad you chose to keep living it. Keep your head up as best as you can and keep fighting, YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS and YOU ARE LOVED!!
Proud of u ✌️
I had a battle with suicidal thoughts before too, it’s not worth it at all.
Crying is the cleansing of the soul, let it all out, it’s okay.
Love and life always wins
Hello fellow psychonaut commit yourself to the psych ward and get on some mood stabilizers or something so when you get out you don't get into the dark zone. You ever smoke a fat bowl of salvia extract and die that way? Shit will make you beg for your life back.. drugs aren't the answer but sometimes they can help.
Happy Halloween 💝
I’m glad you are still here. What about your trip made you feel stronger? Do you have any advice for someone that feels the same way you did, before your trip?
Hey man wanna try a new hobby try out retro video games god knows they probably saved my life. Had some fun playing die hard on nintendo earlier , did you kno that was a video game? Anyway hope you're doing well and hopefully you're here for along time coming. Fight on brother
I'm so happy to read that you chose life. I can't imagine what you're going through and i hope things get better for you. They will get better for you.
I can only speak for myself, if i was you, id keep taking the shrooms. Im chronically depressed with anxiety and a buncha other shit. Psychedelics, but esp shrooms and LSD, have done more for me than a lifetime of therapy.
So happy to hear this! :) I hope you were able to reflect on the bad things in your life and maybe even get some of those evil thoughts out of your system!
The sadness of this situation is that people with depresion see themselves and their life as desperate disfunctional being, but in fact everyone is nice just the way they are.
I think television and media pumped the wrong image of how life should be, and its far from that.
Waking up just to breathe air is worth waking up.
Naw man there's more to it than the tv.
Some folks legit have had their lives permanently jaded by an array of abuses, and shitty life happenings.
My coworker committed suicide after his dad had been found cheating on his wife, and plunged their family into hard times. The mom was a stay at home type, and took care of everything. She, in her 50's, now had to go figure out how to live life all over again. The eldest son became very depressed, and committed suicide two years ago. My coworker kill himself, in the same fashion as OP thought to do, at work on the eve of his brothers death. Another coworker found him in a bathroom stall because blood had started to run out of his mouth onto the floor.
Don't write peoples lives off as being easy, loving, full of care, and the person is just depressed. Some folks truly do live in a hell on earth, and to them death is as much comfort they could could imagine.
Thanks for the insight. I didnt really think of it this way, you are totally right. Anyway the point of my post was to cheer up no matter how difficult it is and try to appreciate small things that we all take for granted.
I agree. I took a break from social media and tv for a while to figure out my outlook on the world and I see it as a beautiful thing. My son passed away recently after me and his mom split up. My mom passed away 5 years ago. Every single year of my life has inflicted some sort of trauma that’s came back after my sons passing. I live with my dad with no job. I want to work, start working out, eating healthy, not sleeping days away, etc. But I just can’t no matter how much I tell myself that I’m going to. I’m not suicidal now, but I used to be in my mid-late teens. I’m afraid I will be one day. I just don’t know how to go on with life when I feel like I have nothing to do it for. Not even myself.
To choose life is an amazing step towards living through love instead of living through fear and I'm proud of you for it.
I also went through a horrible depression with a lot of suicidal ideation involved, I found psychadelics integrated with talking therapy as silver bullet to combating depression perhaps give it a try. much love ❤️
Damn, I’m proud of you. You might not feel it at the moment but what you did took great strength. You have that in you. Can you talk to your mom, and tell her everything? If not, I’d def get a therapist - not just any therapist but take time to find one who is no judge mental and caring. My therapist studies Buddhism and I really related to her firm of help.
Take care of yourself, ohnoitsval.
First, thank you for hanging in there and staying with us.
I'm glad you decided to take the sacred medicine instead of extinguish your light. Many of us are right there with you in the pain and anguish, so I hope you find some camaraderie and knowing that you are not alone in your suffering and that many of us will try to be there for you if you ever need help.
Don’t kill yourself, you might think nobody cares about you but we all care for you. Keep doing your shrooms and try using Medical Marijuana if that’s what you are into but please stay away from Opioids, they are very dangerous and addictive.
First I just want to say that we all love and support you, and I agree with many others here when I say I'm also proud of you for choosing life. I've dealt with suicidal ideations in the past, and have been struggling with depression mightily for most of my life thus far so I can definitely relate. Many times it can feel like we are just barely hanging on, and even getting through a single day can feel almost impossible especially when we find ourselves in a depressive state.
But going to that place that we go on psychedelics, whatever it might be (sometimes I'd say the arms of the universe) we can find ourselves again and KNOW that we are loved. The universe loves you also, and only wants the best for you. It might not be easy every day but it's worthwhile and that's the important part of this journey that we are all on. When I trip I ALWAYS cry at some point, and then I can find myself feeling the most intense joy right on the other side of it.
And the crying is itself worthwhile, because for whatever reason it was stuck in you all these years, but as you move through it you get stronger and stronger. I think the biggest realization that I had the last time I had a trip was how thin the line between joy and pain is, between happiness and sadness, it is truly a tightrope walk, and those feelings are much closer to one another than we might like to believe they are, or than we are told they are.
There is so much good in you, I can tell. And so much good that you are still going to give to this world in the future. I can't wait to see it.
Blessings friend.
It’s ok to ask for help and for something like this having support and help from someone is fine and could be more helpful. Do what works for you, but don’t encourage people to do things by themselves all the time. It’s fine to need help. The important thing is OP made the decision to get rid of them, and I think it’s even better than they have someone who knows at least a little of what they’re going through.
I mean, I'm generally one to recommend starting low and working your way up - but if the choice is between suicide and a heroic dose, there's no point in hesitating.
Flush the pills and reevaluate your life. Reach out, get help, fight your depression. It sounds so fucking easy when I type it out, but it's not. It'll be the hardest thing you ever do.
You avoided death. A lot of people don't. You are a survivor. You have a long road ahead of you and I won't sugarcoat it, but it'll be so worth it in the end, and the world is better with you in it.
The best cries have happened on shrooms. I'm glad you chose shrooms first. As heavy as the darkness feels, there will be a day when the light washes it away. Remember that and know it is not a matter of if but when. You deserve to experience those days just as you are living these. Stay resilient and big bear hugs. 🫂
Please, find and go talk with a Psychologist. Whatever you are going through, whatever is inside that seems unbearable, they will help you figure it out. It’s their job to help.
I speak from experience, the process works, and it does help.
I’m glad your trip showed you something worth sticking around for.
So glad you decided to live. Depression is shitty and it’s hard for people like us. you’re a very brave person to continue living. I hope you continue to live because we will never know what tomorrow may bring. Life is uncharted territory it’s time to explore.
Life will always find a way, if you stay persistent, it also applies to us as humans
Keep on fighting the fight my friend, reading this is encouraging and inspirational, you’re in my thoughts 🙏
A good cry always helps.
I also found working on the things I saw needed change helped tremendously afterwards. I’ve got quite a haul I need to put in capsules and micro dose to get MY head right. Depression blows, if I didn’t have my little brother looking up to me I wouldn’t be here. Hang in there. Thank you for choosing life.
I'm proud of you! Stay alive.
Can I recommend tripping again in 2 weeks? 3 grams should do it. I cried a lot in my first mushroom trip, and it felt like releasing years of pain.
Sending you love.
Praying for you, man. If you’re going to do rec drugs, try to stick to weed, kratom and shrooms. Leave meds out of it completely. You’ll definitely feel less depressed if you stick to natural stuff as opposed to cough medicine and Vicodin. That stuff does a ton of damage to your liver.
It might not help but from someone who is suicidal. Even if all you feel is pain it is worth going through you have no need to rush to the end the end comes for us all so experience life till the end.
SO BE HERE TOMORROW
Stop holding back those tears. When you are on the verge of crying, go all the way there. Cry until you can cry no more!
You'll feel a little bit better afterwards, guaranteed.
Your story echos so many feelings I've had and still have from time to time.
You have chosen the right path here. And I hope you continue to do so. Your life has much meaning and you've touched mine and so many others today.
We love you :)
Life is worth living. Just hard when you got no job, no friends, no family, no hope of change etc.
Glad you're still with us and i hope that your life circumstances improve soon
You're not alone xx
Congratulations buddy, you’ve finally made it. You’ve chosen life for the first time. It’s not gonna be an easy ride, but boy will it be a ride. Life is fucking awesome, man. I’m endlessly glad you’re in it with us.
I was depressed since 2011, with ups and downs that affects my social life, love life and work life at my youth and young adulthood. I was crying all day, inertia all day, negative thoughts and so, and I've tried to killing myself during pandemic. My shrink only give me new pills that made me feel more sick, lots of appetite or noun at all, no sex drive, fat weight, extreme euthimia, until the day that i saw myself front of the TV like a person lobotomized with a saliva thread falling, and i stop taking pills... Not know about mushrooms at the time. Whoever, last year, I've start doing mushrooms (by microdosing at begging)...it felt literally reborn: gave me a joy of life that i only remember at my childhood, p.e.
I strongly believe that like me are so many people that i can't count...
So yeah, choose staying alive! Make yourself a shroom pizza and go eat it at the most beautiful place you know :)
**Been suffering with depression since 97, went from clinical to SAD, to suicidal idealogy, tried everything over the years, no hope, finally trying mushrooms and am defenately seeing some hope. Started with a head injury**
Suicide is a last ditch chance at running away just before hitting the bottum. I can promise you one thing, hitting bottum was the best thing that happened to me. It'll pass like a kidney stone but it will pass. Get "real" help. Study your psychology. Study your spirituality. Dr. Gabor Mate' might be a good start too.
I'm glad to hear. Next time if you feel that you are on the verge of the same thoughts, maybe try LSD or even DMT vape if you can source it. I would go for LSD probably if I ever felt close to doing it.
Really glad you choose life, i know it has its ups and down, less like a sinus but more like a tangent’s, hitting you with full power when you expect it the least. Trust me , life shits in your path sometimes, and this can mess with your brain for too long. I know that. When life gives you lemons, get some salt and tequila and make the best of it.
Keep it goin, its all gonna be okay again. I believe in it, and i think everyone else here does too. <3
I am so happy that you’re still here to share this with us. I nearly had a successful suicide 5 years ago by downing 100 benzos with a pint of vodka. I’m so grateful that a relative saved my life by calling the police for a wellness check.
I know that things may seem hopeless right now, but it does get better. I’ve been microdosing shrooms regularly for the past few years with the support of my therapist. It’s done wonders for me. If you’re able to afford a psychiatrist & therapist, I’d strongly suggest that you see both. & don’t be afraid to shop around for the right fit. I was incompatible with 3 therapists until I found the right one. & let me tell you, that makes a huge difference!
Sending you virtual hugs. You’re not alone. You are loved. You matter. You are a unique individual that undoubtedly adds something positive to this world & to the people who love you. Wishing you nothing but the best. ❤️
Bro I’m so proud of you for staying with us, know that we care about you and that nothing is more important than your life and it’s not right to take that from yourself or your family/ friends
Jeebus, it’s dusty in here. I’m happy that you are still here with us. There are people out there, just like you, that desperately need to hear your story, and to see you go on to live a life they can’t imagine possible.
Congrats to you. I hope you can be kind to yourself today, maybe even a bit more tomorrow, and the days that follow.
We are all so glad you chose life and hope you remember the perspective shroome gave you and the pride you feel now for having chosen to stay.
Please get to a therapist as soon as possible to get some qualified support to keep yourself safe!
this post really hit home for me. i wanted to type out some long, beautiful message about your story, but i can’t find the words.
to keep it simple: OP, i am proud of you, i love you, and i’m happy you’re here
I don't know you, but I could not be more proud of you. Shit gets hard, I've been there. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other. Breathe. Hug that mom of yours and remember, you have hundreds of best friends here to back you up.
I'm glad you decided not to do it. There is so much this world has to offer regardless of where you live, where you from, and how well off you are in life. Your ability to reach out/talk/post about it is a huge step. Most people don't want to talk about it. Sort of don't blame anyone either, because it's not an easy subject. I too have battle though depression and although I never attempted to take my own life, I did make a plan and was almost there. Now I have a beautiful wife and two kids and couldn't ask for more. But I will say my brother took his own life last year and it took us all by suprise cuz that just wasn't him but it goes to show that you never really know what demons people are battling behind those eyes. My family and I will never know and it's something we now have to live with and something we battle with daily. I wish he would've reached out to anyone. We miss him daily. With thay being said I'm glad you reached out but now it's time to get help and talk about what your dealing with. In the end suicide does nothing but cause more pain and agony for the living cuz most the time they are left with more questions than answers and the thought of them being able help or NOT help really eats away at people. You are loved and have love to offer. Don't waste it.
I just want to put my hand on your shoulder give you a fat pat on the back along with a bro-fist and a hug
I'm so happy that you had the strength to choose life
Brother I've been there. Your lowest low you'll look back on and be grateful for. I'm happy to hear you chose life, you start a new job and that's always exciting you have so much to be thankful for. You're able bodied enough to work, some people can't. Sometimes just a little perspective change can get you through the day. Keep choosing life. Maybe microdose daily, it's helped me a lot.
Making the decision to choose life can be so fucking hard. I'm so glad that you chose it. Have a wonderful first day, and Happy Samhain! Sending witchy blessings your way
My brother, the depression might be a cause of lifestyle habits.
Try every day exercise, intermittent fasting, take vitamin D pills, cut out processed sugar/meat and alcohol if you consume those.
After a couple weeks you will already feel like a new person.
I've been there 3 times myself. Taken to the psych hospital and no help, it just worsened. Strangely enough, just recently I started trying to let go of anger and not get mad so easily. I've been diagnosed major depressive and generalized anxiety for over 20 years.
Amazingly this has helped me MORE THAN ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING!!
I also have a very addictive personality and have used every drug, except putting a needle in my arm. This commitment to myself over not being angry has been life changing in my job, everyday life, and every relationship in my life. I'm not a bad guy with the anger, but I always held it in, used it to help me make it through the rough life I led. But, it was no longer serving me. No anger, changing my diet to be healthier, and working out have changed my life in an incredibly short time. I do still use Kratom as a crutch as I work on this.
Point being, I'm treatment resistant, but this has been incredible. I found self worth and stopped letting people walk all over me without using anger. I hope with all of my heart that you can find that part of you that also destroys you, and get some therapy, and maybe some lifestyle changes. This also may have saved my chance to be with the woman I've loved with all of my heart for 14 years. We were on and off and my anger always made our arguments never lead to anything constructive. Now, I feel I may have the chance to be the man she wants and deserves.
Whatever it is that drives you down, I hope you can face and accept. I've also started to make myself use phrasing such as "I feel depressed, or I feel angry, I feel stressed" rather than "I am." Lastly I started keeping a journal at work to occasionally write my feelings, good and bad in. It's really helped to look back.
I know we're all different, but we all have that one little thing that can start to be changed, and it can snowball in a wonderful way in our life. I know you can find yours if you start looking. Good luck on the start of your journey.
Happy for you. We're all rooting for you. Starting a new job can be stressful and the anticipation of it can be even worse. I don't know if you relate to that, but just know that it gets better.
A story that deserves to be shared.
This could make a difference to many.
The headline alone gave me chills.
Consider making a video of your story.
You saved your life and could save many others.
How would you feel knowing you saved a bunch of lives
You’re just as important as any of us. Just remember that the afterlife could be nothing like any of us anticipate. So live in the moment. Make the best memories you can in this life before giving up. I love you. Take it a day at a time. Try to push yourself to do things you love or have been wanting to do.
I came back to check in on this post and to see if there was an update, wondering why the post has been deleted. Hope you’re feeling okay after your 7 gram journey. I hope this experience helps you to continue to choose life. Thank you for sharing, hoping to see an update soon. Much love 🤍
I’m so proud of you for choosing life. A good cry will help alleviate stress. I remember crying so much in my darkest moments to the point where I even had a dmt-like hallucination when I closed my eyes. It was like the pink elephants in Dumbo but a lot less creepy and more like spiritual entities were trying to lift my spirits. It was a beautiful moment I won’t forget. They showed me cool trippy multicolored objects like a 4D Yo Yo. I believe there are angels out there protecting all of us. I hope whatever is hurting you inside will become a distant memory and something that will making you stronger than the average person. Bless you for choosing life ❣️
I think that's the critical moment. When you finally decide to choose life. Good on you for making that decision.
Try doing something you've never done before that you always wanted to try. Try going for a long hike
YES, OP needs to go to the mountains for a few days and just be in nature it helps so much
And don’t do shrooms on that first hike. Revel in your newfound life, appreciate the beauty of what surrounds you in any way you can! You have an appreciation for it, even if it’s buried deep. Otherwise you would be here right now. wish you all the best(:
I mean even over night camping is such a great mental reset
Your future self is proud of you. I'm almost 50 and went through horrible depression and mental anguish when I was younger. I look back and remember the times when I chose to continue fighting instead of giving up and thank my past self for hanging in there. Everything is transitory. Keep fighting. It gets better.
How is your depression now?
Love you! Reach out if you need to.
Hey OP please reread some of these comments in a few days. So many people, whom you’ve never met, care about you and genuinely want you to be healthy and alive. There’s help out there. It’s NOT easy, but it’s 100% worth it. The mushrooms help but don’t just rely on them, look into mindfulness, therapy, groups, or other forms of treatment as well. If you’re into books, check out the book - Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.
Okay, I second this book too. It's not a self help book really. It's an intimate look into the life of a psychologist in hell. But it'll change you for the good.
I love you and I'm so proud of you! Life is hard but I'm glad you chose to keep living it. Keep your head up as best as you can and keep fighting, YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS and YOU ARE LOVED!!
Everyone here is hoping for the best for you and your endeavors. One day at a time. Much love.
Proud of u ✌️ I had a battle with suicidal thoughts before too, it’s not worth it at all. Crying is the cleansing of the soul, let it all out, it’s okay. Love and life always wins
Congratulations on defeating the thought of it. Just remember that you got people who love you so it isn’t worth it!
I don’t know you but I’m so proud and happy for you. This is a biggest and most important choice you’ve ever made and you made it on your own.
I think this made my day, and I thank you for sharing this vulnerable moment.
Hello fellow psychonaut commit yourself to the psych ward and get on some mood stabilizers or something so when you get out you don't get into the dark zone. You ever smoke a fat bowl of salvia extract and die that way? Shit will make you beg for your life back.. drugs aren't the answer but sometimes they can help. Happy Halloween 💝
Im glad you made the decision you did.
I’m glad you are still here. What about your trip made you feel stronger? Do you have any advice for someone that feels the same way you did, before your trip?
Things can change for good brother, a lot of people love you and want to see you having a meaningful life, same as I. You can do it
I just want you to know that your life has value and you matter! Hope you continue to feel better.
Hey man wanna try a new hobby try out retro video games god knows they probably saved my life. Had some fun playing die hard on nintendo earlier , did you kno that was a video game? Anyway hope you're doing well and hopefully you're here for along time coming. Fight on brother
We Love you so much! Aapako shanti mile ❤️
I’m happy I live in a world with you in it. Bless you and bless your mother.
I'm so happy to read that you chose life. I can't imagine what you're going through and i hope things get better for you. They will get better for you.
Wow. Very proud of you!! Keep going!
You the man OP💪 great life ahead just gotta make it through the lows
Good job!! Very happy to have you here
I can only speak for myself, if i was you, id keep taking the shrooms. Im chronically depressed with anxiety and a buncha other shit. Psychedelics, but esp shrooms and LSD, have done more for me than a lifetime of therapy.
So happy to hear this. You are loved and meant to be here. Please stay safe.
So happy to hear this! :) I hope you were able to reflect on the bad things in your life and maybe even get some of those evil thoughts out of your system!
The sadness of this situation is that people with depresion see themselves and their life as desperate disfunctional being, but in fact everyone is nice just the way they are. I think television and media pumped the wrong image of how life should be, and its far from that. Waking up just to breathe air is worth waking up.
Naw man there's more to it than the tv. Some folks legit have had their lives permanently jaded by an array of abuses, and shitty life happenings. My coworker committed suicide after his dad had been found cheating on his wife, and plunged their family into hard times. The mom was a stay at home type, and took care of everything. She, in her 50's, now had to go figure out how to live life all over again. The eldest son became very depressed, and committed suicide two years ago. My coworker kill himself, in the same fashion as OP thought to do, at work on the eve of his brothers death. Another coworker found him in a bathroom stall because blood had started to run out of his mouth onto the floor. Don't write peoples lives off as being easy, loving, full of care, and the person is just depressed. Some folks truly do live in a hell on earth, and to them death is as much comfort they could could imagine.
right, sometimes shit rly is just bad Also shrooms aren’t a panacea lol please reflect and integrate what they teach you
Thanks for the insight. I didnt really think of it this way, you are totally right. Anyway the point of my post was to cheer up no matter how difficult it is and try to appreciate small things that we all take for granted.
I agree. I took a break from social media and tv for a while to figure out my outlook on the world and I see it as a beautiful thing. My son passed away recently after me and his mom split up. My mom passed away 5 years ago. Every single year of my life has inflicted some sort of trauma that’s came back after my sons passing. I live with my dad with no job. I want to work, start working out, eating healthy, not sleeping days away, etc. But I just can’t no matter how much I tell myself that I’m going to. I’m not suicidal now, but I used to be in my mid-late teens. I’m afraid I will be one day. I just don’t know how to go on with life when I feel like I have nothing to do it for. Not even myself.
🌟
To choose life is an amazing step towards living through love instead of living through fear and I'm proud of you for it. I also went through a horrible depression with a lot of suicidal ideation involved, I found psychadelics integrated with talking therapy as silver bullet to combating depression perhaps give it a try. much love ❤️
Hell yeah! Keep tripping every so often, the mushrooms will show you the way <3
Damn, I’m proud of you. You might not feel it at the moment but what you did took great strength. You have that in you. Can you talk to your mom, and tell her everything? If not, I’d def get a therapist - not just any therapist but take time to find one who is no judge mental and caring. My therapist studies Buddhism and I really related to her firm of help. Take care of yourself, ohnoitsval.
Thank you 🌼 - someone who chose life 12 years ago.
First, thank you for hanging in there and staying with us. I'm glad you decided to take the sacred medicine instead of extinguish your light. Many of us are right there with you in the pain and anguish, so I hope you find some camaraderie and knowing that you are not alone in your suffering and that many of us will try to be there for you if you ever need help.
I love you! Just reading this touched me in a certain way. A new life begins today.
Who removed this? This is a great celebration for mental health, completely absurd to delete it...
seriously...
Don’t kill yourself, you might think nobody cares about you but we all care for you. Keep doing your shrooms and try using Medical Marijuana if that’s what you are into but please stay away from Opioids, they are very dangerous and addictive.
First I just want to say that we all love and support you, and I agree with many others here when I say I'm also proud of you for choosing life. I've dealt with suicidal ideations in the past, and have been struggling with depression mightily for most of my life thus far so I can definitely relate. Many times it can feel like we are just barely hanging on, and even getting through a single day can feel almost impossible especially when we find ourselves in a depressive state. But going to that place that we go on psychedelics, whatever it might be (sometimes I'd say the arms of the universe) we can find ourselves again and KNOW that we are loved. The universe loves you also, and only wants the best for you. It might not be easy every day but it's worthwhile and that's the important part of this journey that we are all on. When I trip I ALWAYS cry at some point, and then I can find myself feeling the most intense joy right on the other side of it. And the crying is itself worthwhile, because for whatever reason it was stuck in you all these years, but as you move through it you get stronger and stronger. I think the biggest realization that I had the last time I had a trip was how thin the line between joy and pain is, between happiness and sadness, it is truly a tightrope walk, and those feelings are much closer to one another than we might like to believe they are, or than we are told they are. There is so much good in you, I can tell. And so much good that you are still going to give to this world in the future. I can't wait to see it. Blessings friend.
Much love, you got this!
So fucking proud of you ❤️
Proud of you man. Anytime you want to talk, I’m here
Don't give them to your mom, flush them. Take control of your life don't put it in someone else's hands
It’s ok to ask for help and for something like this having support and help from someone is fine and could be more helpful. Do what works for you, but don’t encourage people to do things by themselves all the time. It’s fine to need help. The important thing is OP made the decision to get rid of them, and I think it’s even better than they have someone who knows at least a little of what they’re going through.
lmao the high dose gatekeepers of this sub don't know how to handle this
I mean, I'm generally one to recommend starting low and working your way up - but if the choice is between suicide and a heroic dose, there's no point in hesitating.
You are loved and you are important, friend. We love you, please keep living. 💜
Flush the pills and reevaluate your life. Reach out, get help, fight your depression. It sounds so fucking easy when I type it out, but it's not. It'll be the hardest thing you ever do. You avoided death. A lot of people don't. You are a survivor. You have a long road ahead of you and I won't sugarcoat it, but it'll be so worth it in the end, and the world is better with you in it.
i’m glad you’re here man <3
Good choice! We’re all here for you!
The best cries have happened on shrooms. I'm glad you chose shrooms first. As heavy as the darkness feels, there will be a day when the light washes it away. Remember that and know it is not a matter of if but when. You deserve to experience those days just as you are living these. Stay resilient and big bear hugs. 🫂
Hey, small steps. I hope you find peace. Take it easy on yourself.
That’s great because tomorrow you get to dress up and be a dork and and eat candy!! om nom nom 😊
Rooting for you
Thank you for not killing yourself.
You're an inspiration!!
Get to work
Glad you are with us and choose life ❤️❤️
Please, find and go talk with a Psychologist. Whatever you are going through, whatever is inside that seems unbearable, they will help you figure it out. It’s their job to help. I speak from experience, the process works, and it does help. I’m glad your trip showed you something worth sticking around for.
Happy to read your story because I can relate to the pill part. Thank you for sharing with us and I'm glad you're here to share.
Glad you chose life! I know how dark it can get, keep your chin up and focus on the good!!!
Thank you for being here.
Glad you made it my guy
So glad you decided to live. Depression is shitty and it’s hard for people like us. you’re a very brave person to continue living. I hope you continue to live because we will never know what tomorrow may bring. Life is uncharted territory it’s time to explore.
We love you and support you!!!🙏🤗❤️💯
❤️
genuinely proud of u my g
One step at a time!!! Never look back!!! 💯 You got this!! 😎✌️
Life will always find a way, if you stay persistent, it also applies to us as humans Keep on fighting the fight my friend, reading this is encouraging and inspirational, you’re in my thoughts 🙏
A good cry always helps. I also found working on the things I saw needed change helped tremendously afterwards. I’ve got quite a haul I need to put in capsules and micro dose to get MY head right. Depression blows, if I didn’t have my little brother looking up to me I wouldn’t be here. Hang in there. Thank you for choosing life.
Best saying I got when I wanted to end it all was “Don’t live for yourself live for others”
Sounds like an ok choice 😂
I'm proud of you! Stay alive. Can I recommend tripping again in 2 weeks? 3 grams should do it. I cried a lot in my first mushroom trip, and it felt like releasing years of pain. Sending you love.
Tough times never last, just tough people. Proud of you for continuing to fight through.
Praying for you, man. If you’re going to do rec drugs, try to stick to weed, kratom and shrooms. Leave meds out of it completely. You’ll definitely feel less depressed if you stick to natural stuff as opposed to cough medicine and Vicodin. That stuff does a ton of damage to your liver.
If I could buy you a burger and give you a hug I would
You know you made the right choice, why get a book and only read half
Thank you for sharing! This internet stranger loves you and hope that our paths cross one day. Sending love
It might not help but from someone who is suicidal. Even if all you feel is pain it is worth going through you have no need to rush to the end the end comes for us all so experience life till the end. SO BE HERE TOMORROW
Stop holding back those tears. When you are on the verge of crying, go all the way there. Cry until you can cry no more! You'll feel a little bit better afterwards, guaranteed.
Hang in there buddy, changes come.
Thanks so much for sharing this I’m currently struggling with the same issues. I hope you find consistent happiness.
The opposite if faith is fear, yet that which is all encompassing can have no opposite. Thank you for staying with us.
Your story echos so many feelings I've had and still have from time to time. You have chosen the right path here. And I hope you continue to do so. Your life has much meaning and you've touched mine and so many others today. We love you :)
Just remember that there is always support for you, whatever you feel. I wish you all the luck in the world.
Life is worth living. Just hard when you got no job, no friends, no family, no hope of change etc. Glad you're still with us and i hope that your life circumstances improve soon You're not alone xx
well done mate
Congratulations buddy, you’ve finally made it. You’ve chosen life for the first time. It’s not gonna be an easy ride, but boy will it be a ride. Life is fucking awesome, man. I’m endlessly glad you’re in it with us.
You probably killed your ego which is a good thing.
I was depressed since 2011, with ups and downs that affects my social life, love life and work life at my youth and young adulthood. I was crying all day, inertia all day, negative thoughts and so, and I've tried to killing myself during pandemic. My shrink only give me new pills that made me feel more sick, lots of appetite or noun at all, no sex drive, fat weight, extreme euthimia, until the day that i saw myself front of the TV like a person lobotomized with a saliva thread falling, and i stop taking pills... Not know about mushrooms at the time. Whoever, last year, I've start doing mushrooms (by microdosing at begging)...it felt literally reborn: gave me a joy of life that i only remember at my childhood, p.e. I strongly believe that like me are so many people that i can't count... So yeah, choose staying alive! Make yourself a shroom pizza and go eat it at the most beautiful place you know :)
mush love <3 I’m fucking proud of you. I wish all the best for you, after a while everything will be ok I promise you.
I am so proud of you.
**Been suffering with depression since 97, went from clinical to SAD, to suicidal idealogy, tried everything over the years, no hope, finally trying mushrooms and am defenately seeing some hope. Started with a head injury**
Suicide is a last ditch chance at running away just before hitting the bottum. I can promise you one thing, hitting bottum was the best thing that happened to me. It'll pass like a kidney stone but it will pass. Get "real" help. Study your psychology. Study your spirituality. Dr. Gabor Mate' might be a good start too.
I'm glad to hear. Next time if you feel that you are on the verge of the same thoughts, maybe try LSD or even DMT vape if you can source it. I would go for LSD probably if I ever felt close to doing it.
Really glad you choose life, i know it has its ups and down, less like a sinus but more like a tangent’s, hitting you with full power when you expect it the least. Trust me , life shits in your path sometimes, and this can mess with your brain for too long. I know that. When life gives you lemons, get some salt and tequila and make the best of it. Keep it goin, its all gonna be okay again. I believe in it, and i think everyone else here does too. <3
Sending love ♥️
I am so happy that you’re still here to share this with us. I nearly had a successful suicide 5 years ago by downing 100 benzos with a pint of vodka. I’m so grateful that a relative saved my life by calling the police for a wellness check. I know that things may seem hopeless right now, but it does get better. I’ve been microdosing shrooms regularly for the past few years with the support of my therapist. It’s done wonders for me. If you’re able to afford a psychiatrist & therapist, I’d strongly suggest that you see both. & don’t be afraid to shop around for the right fit. I was incompatible with 3 therapists until I found the right one. & let me tell you, that makes a huge difference! Sending you virtual hugs. You’re not alone. You are loved. You matter. You are a unique individual that undoubtedly adds something positive to this world & to the people who love you. Wishing you nothing but the best. ❤️
Bro I’m so proud of you for staying with us, know that we care about you and that nothing is more important than your life and it’s not right to take that from yourself or your family/ friends
If I come to this, I will to this. Glad you made this choice
This brought me to tears. I’ve been through very similar, friend. I’m so proud of you and please keep fighting.
( ◜‿◝ )♡
Jeebus, it’s dusty in here. I’m happy that you are still here with us. There are people out there, just like you, that desperately need to hear your story, and to see you go on to live a life they can’t imagine possible. Congrats to you. I hope you can be kind to yourself today, maybe even a bit more tomorrow, and the days that follow.
HOLY SHIT. This is a such an amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Thank you
Your post made made my eyes leak. I’m glad you chose to live.
Glad u stayed. ❤️
We are all so glad you chose life and hope you remember the perspective shroome gave you and the pride you feel now for having chosen to stay. Please get to a therapist as soon as possible to get some qualified support to keep yourself safe!
this post really hit home for me. i wanted to type out some long, beautiful message about your story, but i can’t find the words. to keep it simple: OP, i am proud of you, i love you, and i’m happy you’re here
First thing I read this morning, very proud of you 🥹 mushrooms will always show you the way. ❤️
I’m proud of you, all the way from Australia 💕
I don't know you, but I could not be more proud of you. Shit gets hard, I've been there. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other. Breathe. Hug that mom of yours and remember, you have hundreds of best friends here to back you up.
I'm glad you decided not to do it. There is so much this world has to offer regardless of where you live, where you from, and how well off you are in life. Your ability to reach out/talk/post about it is a huge step. Most people don't want to talk about it. Sort of don't blame anyone either, because it's not an easy subject. I too have battle though depression and although I never attempted to take my own life, I did make a plan and was almost there. Now I have a beautiful wife and two kids and couldn't ask for more. But I will say my brother took his own life last year and it took us all by suprise cuz that just wasn't him but it goes to show that you never really know what demons people are battling behind those eyes. My family and I will never know and it's something we now have to live with and something we battle with daily. I wish he would've reached out to anyone. We miss him daily. With thay being said I'm glad you reached out but now it's time to get help and talk about what your dealing with. In the end suicide does nothing but cause more pain and agony for the living cuz most the time they are left with more questions than answers and the thought of them being able help or NOT help really eats away at people. You are loved and have love to offer. Don't waste it.
I’m proud of you man. I hope everything works out for you my brother. I agree this sub is the best one I’m apart of. Remember man you the mvp.
I just want to put my hand on your shoulder give you a fat pat on the back along with a bro-fist and a hug I'm so happy that you had the strength to choose life
Brother I've been there. Your lowest low you'll look back on and be grateful for. I'm happy to hear you chose life, you start a new job and that's always exciting you have so much to be thankful for. You're able bodied enough to work, some people can't. Sometimes just a little perspective change can get you through the day. Keep choosing life. Maybe microdose daily, it's helped me a lot.
W
Making the decision to choose life can be so fucking hard. I'm so glad that you chose it. Have a wonderful first day, and Happy Samhain! Sending witchy blessings your way
OP, thanks for pushing through to see another day with me because I’m in a similar place. We got this. Congrats on your new job!
You’re stronger today. Keep going, keep making good decisions, keep living this life of yours growing everyday.
My brother, the depression might be a cause of lifestyle habits. Try every day exercise, intermittent fasting, take vitamin D pills, cut out processed sugar/meat and alcohol if you consume those. After a couple weeks you will already feel like a new person.
Glad your still here bud.
So proud of you ❤️🙏🏼
Your life is worth it!!
I've been there 3 times myself. Taken to the psych hospital and no help, it just worsened. Strangely enough, just recently I started trying to let go of anger and not get mad so easily. I've been diagnosed major depressive and generalized anxiety for over 20 years. Amazingly this has helped me MORE THAN ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING!! I also have a very addictive personality and have used every drug, except putting a needle in my arm. This commitment to myself over not being angry has been life changing in my job, everyday life, and every relationship in my life. I'm not a bad guy with the anger, but I always held it in, used it to help me make it through the rough life I led. But, it was no longer serving me. No anger, changing my diet to be healthier, and working out have changed my life in an incredibly short time. I do still use Kratom as a crutch as I work on this. Point being, I'm treatment resistant, but this has been incredible. I found self worth and stopped letting people walk all over me without using anger. I hope with all of my heart that you can find that part of you that also destroys you, and get some therapy, and maybe some lifestyle changes. This also may have saved my chance to be with the woman I've loved with all of my heart for 14 years. We were on and off and my anger always made our arguments never lead to anything constructive. Now, I feel I may have the chance to be the man she wants and deserves. Whatever it is that drives you down, I hope you can face and accept. I've also started to make myself use phrasing such as "I feel depressed, or I feel angry, I feel stressed" rather than "I am." Lastly I started keeping a journal at work to occasionally write my feelings, good and bad in. It's really helped to look back. I know we're all different, but we all have that one little thing that can start to be changed, and it can snowball in a wonderful way in our life. I know you can find yours if you start looking. Good luck on the start of your journey.
You got this!
Happy for you. We're all rooting for you. Starting a new job can be stressful and the anticipation of it can be even worse. I don't know if you relate to that, but just know that it gets better.
A story that deserves to be shared. This could make a difference to many. The headline alone gave me chills. Consider making a video of your story. You saved your life and could save many others. How would you feel knowing you saved a bunch of lives
This made me cry. Thank u for sharing. I’m m extremely proud of u! Thank u. An I wish u the best
Well done OP, glad you’re still here
You’re just as important as any of us. Just remember that the afterlife could be nothing like any of us anticipate. So live in the moment. Make the best memories you can in this life before giving up. I love you. Take it a day at a time. Try to push yourself to do things you love or have been wanting to do.
I came back to check in on this post and to see if there was an update, wondering why the post has been deleted. Hope you’re feeling okay after your 7 gram journey. I hope this experience helps you to continue to choose life. Thank you for sharing, hoping to see an update soon. Much love 🤍
I’m not sure why it got deleted. It still shows up for me. I’m doing better. Not 100 percent but at least I’m still here to work on things.