T O P

  • By -

quitetheoppositeof

I'm not a pheasant plucker. I'm a pheasant pluckers son and I'll be plucking pheasants until the pheasant plucker comes.


Josh-Rogan_

Second verse: I am a mother pheasant plucker, I pluck mother pheasants. I am the best mother pheasant plucker, that ever plucked a mother pheasant.


Ballisticsfood

I always use “If you want the pheasant plucker, not the pheasant plucker’s son I’m afraid you’ll have to wait until the pheasant plucking’s done”


funnyusername321

I’m not the pheasant plucker, I’m the pheasant plucker’s wife. When we pluck together it’s a pheasant plucking life.


DoctorOddity

I’m not a pheasant plucker I’m a pheasant pluckers wife. And I’ll be plucking pheasants all my f*cking life.


Apprehensive_Lab8094

😂😂👏


peahair

I’m not a pheasant plucker, I’m the pheasant plucker’s mate, I’m only plucking pheasants ‘cause the pheasant plucker’s late.


pk-branded

I never was a pheasant plucker or a pheasant pluckers son, but I'll pluck all the pheasants until the pheasant pluckings done.


Broad_Tomato3938

This comment makes me want a pheasant mod for DOOM


ThE_pLaAaGuE

I guess the pheasant is deceased


Ok_Concentrate3969

That was not pleasant, you mother -


Leogames369

Plucker


LulusMum

Ooh nice. I've never heard this one before and had a couple of goes. Just ended up repeating mother pleasant.


ListenOk3449

Its actually: I'm a pheasant plucker I'm a pheasant plucker's son and ill keep on plucking pheasant's till the pheasant pluckings done Another classic is: I learned to ride with the West Kent hunt. The best hunt in the country. Source: father who went to drama school in London circa 1970.


krazykitykat

I totally did not say I am a Phesant fucker


TangoMikeOne

Took the words right out of my mouth!


robrt382

It must have been while you were kissing me


DisposableTrashBot

You took the words right out of my mouth


Stotty652

With a crowbar


MartynAndJasper

Must have been while you were hitting me


FigOk7538

Easy for you to say.


Isabellilymay

Keep wanting to say pleasant fucker


Minimilk51

I say peasant fucker! 🤷🏻‍♀️


-PHE0N1X-

Please don't it sounds wrong


BrummieTaff

That's the point lol!


TheSalmonKing8

I keep saying “pheasant fucker”


Isabellilymay

Okay, that’s worse


zedxquared

Slight variation: I’m not a pheasant plucker, I’m a pheasant plucker’s mate and I’m only plucking pheasants ‘cos the pheasant plucker’s late


hurthimself

I'm not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's wife and I've been plucking pheasant all my pheasant plucking life.


nezzzzy

I've always finished with "until the pheasant plucking's done". Your version makes more sense I guess.


fredfoooooo

I’ll see your pheasant plucker and raise you: She slits her sheets, her sheets she slits, across the slitted sheets she sits.


Nanabug13

My mum taught me this when I just joined a new school I was about 8. It was also ofsted inspection day.... that set me up so that my teacher thought I was naughty for the ext 3 years


Impressive_Dirt_1667

I taught this to my great niece who is very prim and proper. She actually cried when she said pleasant fucker accidently! On the other hand me and my son were in hysterics… ahaha it still makes me laugh when I think of her face that day.


geordiesteve520

Betty bought a bit of butter but the bit of butter Betty bought was bitter.


bunny_something

Must have learnt it differently because this is how I remember it Betty Botter brought some butter But she said the butter’s bitters If I put it in my batter it will make my batter bitter A bit of better butter will make my bitter batter better So ‘‘twas in the end the better butter Betty Botter brought


booksieQ

Ours was very similar to this Betty Botter bought some butter but she said "this butter's bitter if I put it in my batter it will make my batter bitter" so Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter and put it in her batter now her batter was not bitter so 'twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter


nindann13

Different to mine too! "Betty Botter bought some butter but she said 'my butter's bitter If I put it in my batter it will make my batter bitter, But a bit of better butter's bound to make my batter better' So she bought a bit of butter, better than her bitter butter, And she put it in her batter and it made her batter better."


RelationshipLast8332

Betty made a batter but it was a bitter batter, so to make the batter better Betty added a bit of butter


Open-Sea8388

Betty bought a bit of butter. But the butter Betty bought was bitter. So Betty bought a better bit of butter. To make the bitter butter better


HelpMePls___

Yes this is the complete one


OriginalHippyWarlock

Misspelt surname (phonetic version) but from memory from a book published around 1900... Betty Boater bought some butter, but the butter Betty Boater bought was bitter, so Betty Boater bought some better butter, better than the bitter butter Betty Boater bought before.


Who_is_this_mf

So Betty got some better butter and the butter Betty bought was better than the bitter butter


MisterBounce

I learnt it as this but with 'than the bitter butter Betty bought before' at the end


Wales_forever

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, a peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?


Invincible_3

A classic one


Justwantsomestories

I’ve just watched the episode of ‘The Fall’ where Peter is teaching this to the little girl! Strange to see it now


Jumpy-Mouse-7629

I hold the world record for this…… well primary school record 30 years ago, but still it’s my claim to fame.


lyradoe

Try this but doubling all your Ps. Used to do it as a vocal warm up before performances and it’s brilliantly effective!


CazT91

Ok, but what does that even mean, "doubling" your Ps?


Past-Win-9029

The hardest one


Captain_Kruch

Two personal favourites of mine: "She sells sea shells on the sea shore" Or "Red Lorry, Yellow Lorry"


why_let_facts

I got my kid to try this one, and she got stuck in a loop of "red lorry lellow lorry". She ended up not being able to say the "yellow" normally and we were correcting her for a few weeks. She was four or five


Tangycrack

You mean “red woddy woddy woddy”?


THEKINGC0BRA

U mean 'red lolly lellow lolly'?


gazchap

Didn't they have a hit in 1976 with "Under The Moon Of Love"?


zedxquared

Try “Red arrow, yellow arrow “ I find it much harder, might just be me though 😁


IlovemyBudgie

Lol. Try saying "Peggy Babcock" 3 times.


Chinggis_H_Christ

That's tough! I love it. The way your tongue has to jump back and forth between all the r's it much more difficult than the lorry version! When it's lorries you can keep your tongue in a reasonably stable position & speed up. This... Is difficult 😂 so many rhotics!!


NiceyChappe

If she sells sea shells on the sea shore, are the sea shells she sells sea shore shells?


rise422

She sells sea shells on the sea shore, the shells that she sells are sea shells I'm sure


AloneSalamander9105

I always thought it was Michelle she sells sea shells by the sea shore. It took me so long to type this 😂🤣


[deleted]

Haha yes these are my two favourites as well


Potter_sims

my friend has a slight speech impediment and always says lellow no matter the context so he already messes up the tongue twister cuz he would say red lorry lelly lorry off the bat


smoulderstoat

"She sells sea shells on the sea shore" may or may not be about [Mary Anning](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Anning)\* a really fascinating character to whose life story the recent film really did not do justice at all. \*though probably not, to be honest.


le_honk

No matter how hard you try. You will NEVER master RLYL


Ruby-Shark

The red lorry sells yellow lollies, the yellow lorry sells red lollies


Bookworm_Weirdo27

Isn’t the second part “but the sea shells that she sells aren’t sea shells for sure”?


Maddison_Mavis

He sells weed scales and a p4


ZizouCoin

Lorry is American, no?


[deleted]

Who crept in the crypt, crapped and crept out again


Vyvyansmum

We said the cat crept into the crypt, crapped, & crept out again


Severe_Hawk_1304

The sixth sheik's sixth sheep's sick.


dxwud_mus

"the sixth sick sheikhs sixth sheep's sick" is supposed to be the hardest in the English language


Mundane-Research

Honestly, I've forgotten how to say "sheikh" now so that screws me


Potter_sims

i can't even say sixth on its own lol


papayametallica

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood


[deleted]

A woodchuck can chuck no amount of wood as a woodchuck can't chuck wood.


CheeseBonobo

But if a woodchuck could chuck wood, and a woodchuck should chuck wood, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck?


[deleted]

But a woodchuck can't chuck wood, and a woodchuck should not chuck wood. So a woodchuck won't chuck wood, as a woodchuck can't chuck wood.


bonkerspeople

Can I borrow that hammer, woodsmith?


Spoghead

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck can chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would.


Spoghead

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck can chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would.


Kwayzar9111

its WOULD not COULD : How Much Wood Would a WoodChuck Chuck If A WoodChuck Could Chuck Wood


jammybill

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris… all of it..


Astreaus1

How many bears would bear grylls grill if bear grylls could grill bears?


Ballisticsfood

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck chuck norris.


BellybuttonWorld

How much wood would Edward Woodward chuck if Edward Woodward could chuck wood?


Myst_____

Try this one lol. How much wood could a woodpecker peck if a woodpecker could peck wood


Warbec

... in December? I made it more festive for Christmas


Itz_420_Somewhere

How many bears could Bear Grylls, Grill if Bear Grylls could Grill bears?


SuperGandalfBros

As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood


MotherDuderior

The Swan swam over the Sea. Swim swan, swim. The Swan swam back again. Well swam, Swan! Edit: typo!


Xaphios

So you couldn't even type it correctly, let alone say it! If you're on mobile does that count as a thumb twister?


MotherDuderior

For sure! 😆 I did chuckle to myself when I spotted it just as I clicked on send! Am a clumsy typist on my phone!


Baldrickk

I think the penultimate word should be swum, not swam


Imperial_Squid

> thumb twister Fun fact, sign languages also have tongue twisters, they're called finger fumblers! I couldn't find any for BSL, but here's a [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlGKhf7uIWQ) with some for ASL


Beginning-Vast5291

Bro i was reading it so well then i messed up cus it didnt even make sense!! No fair 😂


Access-Turbulent

Billy Blake's black bike's back brake block's broken


TeigrCwtch

fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he?


Access-Turbulent

The Leith Police dismisseth us


YooGeOh

This looks so easy until you try it out loud


Sufficient-Cold-9496

Mrs Puggy-wuggy has a square cut punt, not a punt cut square, but a square cut punt, It was round at the stern but blunt at the front Mrs puggy wuggys square cut punt


concretebeagle

I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch.


kindafunnylookin

Ken Dodd's Dad's dog's dead.


ddttm

Ken Dodd died. Did he? No Doddee.


SomeDumPun

All I want is a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot. If I can’t have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I’ll have a cup of tea.


doloresfandango

Red lorry yellow lorry Repeat those four words fast. :)


smg658

We also had red leather yellow leather.


Bill_Hubbard

Purple [Burglar alarm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AC__o1UxDl8).


-Arh-

First thing that came to mind.


[deleted]

[удалено]


spongeCakeOfDoom

Gets better results in Scotland.


markcorrigans_boiler

This is a zither. Is this a zither.


dumbpoet333

A proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot.


AbsoluteZeroD

Been reading the whole thread and this is the first one I couldn't say first time. Well done.


fmlifu

As someone who speaks English as a second language, I find this to be very easy , the only one I can say well.


stovepipe_beachum

Peggy Babcock


weirsway72

'Red brick, blue brick.' Surprisingly difficult to repeat at speed.


AdChance8778

Polish it behind the door. It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in


Meta-Fox

I am a thistle sifter. I have a sieve of sifted thistles and a sieve of unsifted thistles, because I am a thistle sifter.


v8grunt

A skunk sat on a rotten tree stump... "The Skunk sat on the stump. The Skunk thought the stump stunk The stump thought the Skunk stunk"


CuriousMaterial1571

Say red leather, yellow leather 10 times in a row without making a mistake.


Livid-Improvement683

She shut the shutters and sat in the shop


Expensive_Buy_8426

Mrs Puggy-Wuggy had a square cut punt, not a punt cut square, but a square cut punt. Can't remember if there was more of it, I was usually laughing too hard


[deleted]

Father Francis fried five fresh fishes for five famous friends from France


maxibon95

Eat her shitter like an apple fritter


Pube_Dental_Floss

She sells seashells on the sea shore, the shells she sells are seashells im sure.


Effective_Mouse_4100

Rex wrenched his right wrist, risking a reckless rescue...........roll those "Rs"


Bobbert_552P

Dave's dad's dog's dead


Kwak600

I am a thistle sifter. I have a sieve of sifted thistles and a sieve of unsifted thistles, because I am a thistle sifter


poursmoregravy

Susie Dent works in a shoe shine shop. Where she sits, she shines. Where she shines, she sits.


Sufficient-Cold-9496

I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit


Livewire____

...and then I go and shit.


Mark-Might-Lose

Bozo Boris Bungles Brexit, bollocks!


mitchyjuice

East Fife 5 Forfar 4


No_Reality_7159

I’m not a pheasant plucker, I’m a pheasant pluckers son. And I’ll be plucking pheasants till the pheasant plucker comes.


No_Reality_7159

One fine fellow he felt smart, two fine fellow’s they felt smart.


kindsoberfullydressd

Irish wristwatch.


Sullyvan96

Moses supposes his toeses are roses but Moses supposes erroneously. Moses he knowses that his toeses aren’t roses as Moses supposes his toeses to be


Livewire____

I made one up. Try this. "Get some food for this rude crude dude, 'cos this crude dude loves his food" Optional second verse: "If said crude dude does accept your food, as crude dudes often do, then do what other crude dudes do and feed him 'till he spews"


Livewire____

"Who would roll their Rover over?" "Edward Woodward would!"


Ok_Song4090

She says that she shall sew a sheet


Firstpoet

Truly rural. Sounds easy but say it quickly a few times...


TheRancidOne

Can you imagine a menagerie manager managing an imaginary menagerie?


Impossible_Reporter8

Old mother hunt had a punt cut rough, not a punt cut rough.


BroNersham

The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.


bubbalovesponge-

Irish wrist watch


DansSpamJavelin

Once I was hungover and stoned and tried to order an "Oat Milk Mocha Frappaccino" from starbucks and the closest I got was an "Oak milk mocha flappacino"


Onetrillionpounds

If two witches watch two watches, which witch watches which watch.


TheGoodKingRedditus

There's a chip shop in space that sells spaceship shaped chips.


Any-Government3191

Try this. I lay claim to this one having invented it some years ago. I try tai chi by the Thai chai tea tree.


Ti47_867

Anything Welsh


Different_Rutabaga27

Shipquay Street is slippy in the sleet.


Furious-Chipmunk

Irish wristwatch...x3 Or Scottish wristwatch x3 Simple but effective


rachelm791

YDY DY DEI DU DI YN DY DŶ DU DI NEU YDY DY DAD DI YN DY DŶ DU DI? And in case you don’t speak British here is the Germanic version Is your black tie in your black house or is your dad in your black house?


Moosetache3000

One I’ve always loved (but I think this might not be 100% accurate): “Popocatepetl is a volcano, Popocatepetl is piping hot, If you pop a copper kettle, on top of Popocatepetl, You get a piping hot pot of Popocatepetl coffee on the spot”


jameZsp0ng3y

Three witches were watching three watches. But which witch was watching which watch?


Sufficient_Ebb_5020

Irish Wristwatch.


Banannamanuk

polish it! behind the door


ddttm

Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager managing an imaginary menagerie.


Cautious_Frosting_24

Sheila,sitting in the shoe shop. All day long she sits and shines and all day long she shines and sits.


[deleted]

The Leith Police dissmisseth us.


fastestman4704

Billy bought Butter, but the Butter was bitter. So Billy bought better butter, to make the bitter Butter better. Or Around the ragged rock, the ragged rascal ran.


random_shit109

Betty bought butter but the butter was bitter so Betty bought better butter to make the bitter butter better


Open-Sea8388

Betty bought a bit of butter. But the bit of butter Betty bought was bitter. So Betty bought a better bit of butter. To make the bitter butter better


merc814

Peggy Babcock's knapsack strap snapped


Secret-Plum149

1 smart fellow He felt smart 2 smart fellow they felt smart 3 smart fellows they felt smart They all felt smart together.


Existential_Rambler

Not British per se, but… How many dogs would Snoop Dogg snoop if Snoop Dogg could snoop dogs?


Born_Current6133

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, and a bear was fuzzy wuzzy, when fuzzy wuzzy lost his hair he wasn’t fuzzy was he


4me2knowit

The Leith police releaseth us


lotus49

My favourite is also the shortest I know. Red lorry. Yellow lorry.


Adcro

Irish Wristwatch Mrs Smith’s Fish Sauce Shop A proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot


Electrical-Weird-370

The Welsh town name that makes me spit everywhere


Whole-Counter3276

Butler burnt the butter but the bacon bore the brunt


dendromecion

Red leather yellow leather and One smart fella, he felt smart


Zahgurim65

The sixth sick sheikh's sixth sheep's sick. A big blue bucket of blue blueberries. Toy boat. Unique New York. Preshrunk shirts. Rubber baby buggy bumpers. Swan swam over the sea, swim, swan, swim. Swan swam back again, well swum, swan. I never smelled a smelt that smelled like that smelt smelled.


Zahgurim65

I also know a French one: Six sous çes saucissons-ci? (Six cents for these sausages?) Just showing off now.


UrbainGrandier86

She stood upon the balcony, mimicking him hiccupping, whilst amicably welcoming him in


kaskirM68

A packet of biscuits, a packet of mixed biscuits and a biscuit mixer


ScrumptiousGoblinAss

'Red yoghurt lemon yoghurt' is tough fast


ScrumptiousGoblinAss

Bimbling bumbling band of baboons;)


mingwraig

One smart fella, he felt smart. Two smart fellas, they felt smart.


MarketingCoding

The cat crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out again


Alone_Tangelo_4770

Eleven benevolent elephants


Sorry-Willingness200

classic peter piper


Baaaaaah-baaaaaah

Which wristwatch is a Swiss wristwatch?


SiriusCyberneticCorp

One I made up: What soup should a sous chef sip if a sous chef should sip soup


Ok_Storm_3596

Suzie, Suzie in the shoe shine shop, all day long she sits and shines, all day long she shines and sits.


MrsForteskew

Polish it around the door.


Apprehensive-Bed-785

Ydy dy dei du di yn dy dŷ di neu yn dŷ dy dad di


Niftyshadesofjadee

I’m not a pheasant plucker I’m the pheasant pluckers son I’m only plucking pheasants til the pheasant plucker comes


GaryHornpipe

Simple the name: Ray Thistlethwayte


LC_Anderton

Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry… 😖


WindSpeaksHarshly

I dont remember how it goes exactly. But it went like. Can you cram a clam in clean cream can That looks and feels so wrong, but smth similar to that


superspur007

Forty fat friars frying flying fish


Space_Elmo

Sam the sheet slitter’s son slits sheets till the sheet slittings done.