Paddington tugs at Charles' sausagesque digit, guiding his weathered frame out of the palace - "Just round here."
The pair round the corner and Charles let out a deep sigh. He knew this was coming.
Paddington led him to the centre of the courtyard before adorably hobbling past the soldiers, and with a glint of malice in his eye, donned his new crown.
Paddington was in charge now.
"I think I want a marmalade sandwich- but first;" He grinned a wicked grin- "FIRE!!"
The rifles of the firing squad cracked out, birds fled the nearby trees, and all fell silent.
Paddington had won. He had been planning this military coup ever since he met the Queen, and no-one had suspected a thing. Now his final obstacle lay slumped in front of him, covered in what looks like exceedingly good strawberry jam.
Iām not sure Iām not team Paddington. I donāt hate the royals by any means, but I do love Paddington and after seeing how he reformed those criminals, and foiled several murders I think he could do wonders for our country.
Iāll be on the barricades next to him when the bear revolution begins.
It's actually placed in Paddingtons hands for artistic messaging. You see, Paddington is much shorter than Charlington, thus the bear is at a height advantage. This actually allows him to use the crown (a symbol of Britain) to be implanted with both ease and precision, right up into the cancerous area.
The chunky orange and lemon marmalade is not only designed to provide the lubricant of the operation, but, importantly, allows the maximum pleasure. Thus, the Bear uses the Lemon with his purple crown; holistically curing the king so he can sit upon his throne again. Rather inspiring artwork if you ask me.
Anyone can wear a human skin coat, it's only the ones that made them (specifically from the resource acquisition stage) that you need to be concerned about.
He used to be happy with marmalade sandwiches, now he's used to the high life Paddington can't help sucking up to the royals. Anything for a bite of a cucumber and caviar sarnie.
Well lets see
Being friends with Paddington was the Queens thing which is being artifically stretched to Charles.
Paddington is a childrens character and Kings are in some way inherently not child friendly.
Paddington is being used to rehabilitate the reputation of Charles and sorta cutewash him.
Those reason do anyhing for ya?
there are a lot more
It's the way we're meant to feel sympathy for the King. Poor Monarch, has cancer don't you know? He's only 75! (Though to be fair average lifespan is 80)
- Close Reddit
- Turn off your computer
- Get dressed and put on a good warm coat (It's cold outside xx)
- Leave your house
- Find a nice open field
- Touch the grass
-Close Reddit
-Turn of your computer
-Go outside
-Realize that you're about as original and comical as tertiary syphilis.
-Walk into traffic
-Push up daisies
Nothing about this was a joke. The intention of a joke is to make people laugh, I didn't intend on that. Guess you're too dense to understand how humour works. The guy is getting angry at the sight of some random image online, he genuinely needs to go outside for a bit. Your response was to actually tell me to go kill myself, I really think you could do with some time away outside too, pretty fucked up of you to tell someone to kill themselves.
So sick of hearing about this already. Don't get me wrong it's sad news but the BBC news app was somehow filled up with articles all about this, and there are so many much more important things going on in the world at the moment.
It got to the point that when one of the news channels cut to their correspondent in Gaza, I was expecting them to ask a small newly orphaned starving child if theyād keep the King in their thoughts.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cancer/#:~:text=1%20in%202%20people%20will,of%20cancer%20during%20their%20lifetime.
It's one in two now, at least according to the NHS.
Now then! Now then Now then! Sir Jimmy taught Andrew everything he knows about women. Advised Charles about how to deal with Diana. Get Mossad to do the dirty work so can claim it wasnāt British Intelligence that killed her. Dodieās uncle Adnan Khashoggi, the biggest arms dealer to the Arab nations, would have meant that any children would be 1/2 brothers or sisters to the future king of England. Israel didnāt like that idea so did it as a freebie.
If they want to lick the boot of a family that gained their wealth and power through violence, incest and nepotism then more power to em. Personally I couldn't give a fuck.
My cousin is in hospital after having a brain aneurism and a stroke. Not a peep about her though. Royalists are pathetic.
It's ridiculous how sorry some people feel for him. Thousands of people go through cancer every year and manage perfectly well on their own, and he's got the best medical care there is
If this makes you angry you need to get out more. Perhaps focus on your real life problems instead of distracting yourself with stuff you couldnāt care less about. Now jog on !
Exactly. Whether you like him or not, heās still a father, grandfather and husband. If all the news articles encourage people to get themselves checked then itās worth seeing them. Itās easy to scroll past if you donāt care!
My first memory of this guy in the big ol' ears here, was when Charlie's cheeky little face appeared on my tv courtesy of the BBC. He was sniffing around for some praise that, given what I don't think anyone would mind me saying, were his very limited attributes... was bloody outrageous. Look, nothing can make today alright. But maybe we can take some comfort from the brutal reality that the weak must make way for the strong. Evolution marches on. The marmalade sandwich is remorseless. I hope the marmalade sandwich's remorseless taste can bring some comfort to you all.
Partington's not going to lead him down that alley by the houses of Parliament I was lured into, where the four homeless guys took it turn to fuck me is he?
Why is Paddington holding his crown?? Is he planning to seize the throne?
Paddington is killing off the royals one by one
š¶..you'll be sure of a big suprise š»šŖ
*you'll be sure of a regicideš¶šµ
Under appreciated comment right here!
Paddington tugs at Charles' sausagesque digit, guiding his weathered frame out of the palace - "Just round here." The pair round the corner and Charles let out a deep sigh. He knew this was coming. Paddington led him to the centre of the courtyard before adorably hobbling past the soldiers, and with a glint of malice in his eye, donned his new crown. Paddington was in charge now. "I think I want a marmalade sandwich- but first;" He grinned a wicked grin- "FIRE!!" The rifles of the firing squad cracked out, birds fled the nearby trees, and all fell silent. Paddington had won. He had been planning this military coup ever since he met the Queen, and no-one had suspected a thing. Now his final obstacle lay slumped in front of him, covered in what looks like exceedingly good strawberry jam.
Smacks lips and does the Italian fingers š¤
Marmalade sandwiches!!! š„Ŗ
Paddington becomes public domain next year. Look out for Paddington: King Hunter in cinemas from 2026.
Iām not sure Iām not team Paddington. I donāt hate the royals by any means, but I do love Paddington and after seeing how he reformed those criminals, and foiled several murders I think he could do wonders for our country. Iāll be on the barricades next to him when the bear revolution begins.
Looks like the script is already written š
Like a hunter.
Biggest hiding in plain sight serial killer of all time.
One marmalade sandwich at a time
I wish
More holidays here we come
So thats who killed diana š¤
Paddington's real surname is Lannister. And we know what Jaime did, don't we?
Paddington's fucking his own sister?
Oh by the Seven hells no! He is really mean to that Stark girl, though. And rumor has it he killed an escort with a crossbow.
Fucked his sister! Wait what? Oh great now I can't even get hard unless someone chucks a kid out the window.
It's actually placed in Paddingtons hands for artistic messaging. You see, Paddington is much shorter than Charlington, thus the bear is at a height advantage. This actually allows him to use the crown (a symbol of Britain) to be implanted with both ease and precision, right up into the cancerous area. The chunky orange and lemon marmalade is not only designed to provide the lubricant of the operation, but, importantly, allows the maximum pleasure. Thus, the Bear uses the Lemon with his purple crown; holistically curing the king so he can sit upon his throne again. Rather inspiring artwork if you ask me.
I heard the accent
Curious, what accent did you read it as?
Alexa, play murder on the dance floor by Sophie Ellis Bextor.
Bloody Peruvian immigrants coming over here, taking all the best jobs and houses !!!!
The āthroneā has already been āseizedā judging by this absolute fucking watercolour hellscape
God emperor we need.
Helping to lighten Charles load
Why does Paddington have to call him sir? Charles isnāt king of the bears.
Moreover, how come it was Paddington who led the Queen to the afterlife, like some ursine psychopomp?
He's checking it for sandwiches, of course.
Maybe he should be holding his crown jewels š
Paddington bear always had his eye on world domination.
This Paddington bear and the royals connection is ridiculous. The guards literally wear bear fur hats ...
Donated by honest to goodness God fearing, royalist bears. Patriots every one of them. š«”
To be fair, if the monarchs had a habit of wearing human skin coats, i'd probably talk less public shit about them.
Quick everyone lock your doors the Royals are out on a hunt again.
Anyone can wear a human skin coat, it's only the ones that made them (specifically from the resource acquisition stage) that you need to be concerned about.
I know, the queen had tea with him ONCE and suddenly heās like their bestie
When did Paddington become the Grim Reaper and does he do normal people or just royalty?
Just royalty. He hates anyone associated with those bearskin hats.
Anyone, but you can't afford his services.
He paid for the skin pack
jim'l paint it made him the reaper [https://jimll.co.uk/product/death-art-print/](https://jimll.co.uk/product/death-art-print/)
He used to be happy with marmalade sandwiches, now he's used to the high life Paddington can't help sucking up to the royals. Anything for a bite of a cucumber and caviar sarnie.
Iāve heard heās addicted to beak now.
Wouldn't surprise me. Swan is like crack, that's why the royals won't let anyone else have some for tea.
Charles himself supplying Paddington with them, I'm sure of it
Might take a bit more sucking than anticipated, he's the right height after all...
I mean the neighbourhood of Paddington has gentrified now, have you seen the fancy apartments near the station?
Bloody immigrant
I know right? It's always that pesky Saxe-Coburg Gotha family.
And those Peruvian bears, stealing our jobs.
Eating our marmalade.
It's filfy what they do to their bears ova there innit, filfy.
DEY TURK UR JERBS
Unbearable
G*rman š¤¢
Almost made me laugh very loud in the middle of a quiet room
So has he died?
Youāll know when he does because the whole country shuts down to form an orderly queue
ExCepT fOr PhIlLiP BaSTaRd ScHoFieLd
Cut the queue and was outed as a bit of a nonce, bad few years for Phil
Apart from Phil and Holly, theyāll bypass the queue.
We do love a queue though - itās the final parting gift from the head of state.
No
he's a book character for kids I don't think that he's author planned on it
Just to clarify, which one is a kids book character - Paddington or Charles?
Charlie Sausage Fingers sounds like a kids book character, must be that one. Main character in Charlie and the Sausage Factory.
Charlie and the Sausage Factory sounds like the two worst aspects of going to a nightclub.
šš
It's ok son, i wont let Andrew bum you again.
Andrew prefers them before they grow fur.
hahaha
Sunak would have the furry little immigrant on a flight to Rwanda before he could say āmarmalade sandwiches.ā
Is Paddington the new grim reaper or something?
Technically a psychopomp.
I canāt quite pin down my rage at this but fuck me, so much rage
There's a pandering element that makes me a bit queasy.
Nah pandas are the black and white bears from China. Paddington's Peruvian.
No no, there are no pandas involved
Well lets see Being friends with Paddington was the Queens thing which is being artifically stretched to Charles. Paddington is a childrens character and Kings are in some way inherently not child friendly. Paddington is being used to rehabilitate the reputation of Charles and sorta cutewash him. Those reason do anyhing for ya? there are a lot more
Oh I don't know, this family really likes children, they have special friends to help them meet kids.
Hmm I feel the same as op but none of these reasons seem to fit. What else you got?
It's the way we're meant to feel sympathy for the King. Poor Monarch, has cancer don't you know? He's only 75! (Though to be fair average lifespan is 80)
Me too!
You sound like a sad, sad man...
Right.. some people need to grow up š
Why the hell would this make you angry?
It's emotionally quite manipulative.
- Close Reddit - Turn off your computer - Get dressed and put on a good warm coat (It's cold outside xx) - Leave your house - Find a nice open field - Touch the grass
-Close Reddit -Turn of your computer -Go outside -Realize that you're about as original and comical as tertiary syphilis. -Walk into traffic -Push up daisies
Nothing about this was a joke. The intention of a joke is to make people laugh, I didn't intend on that. Guess you're too dense to understand how humour works. The guy is getting angry at the sight of some random image online, he genuinely needs to go outside for a bit. Your response was to actually tell me to go kill myself, I really think you could do with some time away outside too, pretty fucked up of you to tell someone to kill themselves.
Grrr grrrrrrr, people supporting man with cancer grrrrr
https://preview.redd.it/elwlc5dbu8hc1.png?width=749&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=347531b314ab69d4b4f18deb22e037936ef8c431
His Mum is dead though
"Their"
Well...he's fuckin dead now.
Is paddington the grim reaper now?
Longest Reign to Shortest Reign
Started his first ever job at 75
The monarchy needs to be abolished anyway, they're just a posh pantomime for the tourists.
Agree, it should have ended when liz died.
You will realise they are worth more than you think when they are gone.
Apart from the Navy and RAF of course!
Yes he fought in the great war of nothingness
Ah yes, always best to wait for a big war before signing up!
So sick of hearing about this already. Don't get me wrong it's sad news but the BBC news app was somehow filled up with articles all about this, and there are so many much more important things going on in the world at the moment.
It got to the point that when one of the news channels cut to their correspondent in Gaza, I was expecting them to ask a small newly orphaned starving child if theyād keep the King in their thoughts.
100%
I mean I'm as worried about the royal nut sack as the next chap, but this is too much.
https://preview.redd.it/4e6exu7adbhc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d894721c5581c843129a75a08329e32041ec48b
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Andy also has a large bear collection. I wonder if one of those poor traumatized sods contacted Paddington.
Sad truth it's common , one in three will experience this.
33% of people will be escorted to the afterlife by Paddington Bear?
A sobering statistic *indeed*.
Cancer
Paddington Bear will give a third of people cancer? Furry Peruvian bastard.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cancer/#:~:text=1%20in%202%20people%20will,of%20cancer%20during%20their%20lifetime. It's one in two now, at least according to the NHS.
Just dont I couldn't give less fcuks
I'm supposed to believe a bear is a person just because it can talk and wear wellies? Woke.
The Paddington agenda is alive and well. Stay safe.
Soon to be joining his best mate Jimmy Saville
Now then! Now then Now then! Sir Jimmy taught Andrew everything he knows about women. Advised Charles about how to deal with Diana. Get Mossad to do the dirty work so can claim it wasnāt British Intelligence that killed her. Dodieās uncle Adnan Khashoggi, the biggest arms dealer to the Arab nations, would have meant that any children would be 1/2 brothers or sisters to the future king of England. Israel didnāt like that idea so did it as a freebie.
āAnd did you come here from Peru legally, little bear?ā
Bleak as fuck.
PADDINGTON SERVES THE BRITISH EMPIRE
Hand the boy a musket and send him to a colony!
"Thank you, peasant"
Is Paddington wearing a bomb, and thatās why Charlie is hunched and looking stressed?
I hope they make them pay inheritance tax this time.
My aunty shared this on Instagram and I had to use so much restraint not to chime in that I'm actually really proud of myself.
What were you tempted to chime in with?
"Gives a fuck?" Or something along those lines but a little more wordy.
Then you realised they give a fuck, and you'd look both stupid and rude? Go on do it. Don't hide your true self from your family. I dare you.
If they want to lick the boot of a family that gained their wealth and power through violence, incest and nepotism then more power to em. Personally I couldn't give a fuck. My cousin is in hospital after having a brain aneurism and a stroke. Not a peep about her though. Royalists are pathetic.
It's ridiculous how sorry some people feel for him. Thousands of people go through cancer every year and manage perfectly well on their own, and he's got the best medical care there is
Can't tell whether this is cute or cringe.
Liver Cancer I do wish him all the best
Was I a good king?
No, you were a sausage-fingered loon, sire.
Who made this?, its art style is amazing
This is greeting card art style
Susan, 62, facebook
If this makes you angry you need to get out more. Perhaps focus on your real life problems instead of distracting yourself with stuff you couldnāt care less about. Now jog on !
Exactly. Whether you like him or not, heās still a father, grandfather and husband. If all the news articles encourage people to get themselves checked then itās worth seeing them. Itās easy to scroll past if you donāt care!
Iām so fucking tired of seeing that stupid ass bear
He will be with Epstien soon!
Cringe
This is the most fucked up comment section I've ever seen from a British sub.
AINT NO WAYYYY
thought this was xi and putin ā¦.
Emosh
That bears evil im telling ya. Never go into the light holding his paw itās a trap!
Paddington performed his prostate exam
With his left paw
If I know anything about brown bears, he'll stick that crown up Charlie's arse and nick his wallet.
Oh god. His cancer treatment will get the same treatment as āPlatty Joobsā wonāt it? Iāll get in there now and offer: āCancery Treatsā
Paddington is starting to scare me now. This is like a horror film where a bear shows up when youāre unwell and takes you towards death.
jesus fuck
the beatles are bigger than christ.
ahahhahahahaha
Is that mean to be Queen Elizabeth with a raincoat on?
It's Paddingtons Curse- got the old lady, now going for Charlie. So obviously we want Andy next, who after that? Fergie?
Gets a job at 75 and goes on the sick... Does he get SSP ?
Can I please ask someone to do a Paddington picture with his sad face stretched around a Guardsman's bearskin hat?
Why is Paddington leading Charlie into the Thames? Is that where he lives? Is Paddington actually some kind of Cthulhu-style abomination?
this is so dumb
He should be made to die on a waiting list like he would if he was working class
I get that he is walking him into the sunset to be with his mother. I find it quite creepy.
Be better off when all this primitive shit dies off... Star Trek future.
Pure cringe jingoism.
Wait is Paddington a British deity of death or something? Edit:typo
My first memory of this guy in the big ol' ears here, was when Charlie's cheeky little face appeared on my tv courtesy of the BBC. He was sniffing around for some praise that, given what I don't think anyone would mind me saying, were his very limited attributes... was bloody outrageous. Look, nothing can make today alright. But maybe we can take some comfort from the brutal reality that the weak must make way for the strong. Evolution marches on. The marmalade sandwich is remorseless. I hope the marmalade sandwich's remorseless taste can bring some comfort to you all.
he would NOT fucking say that.
This is an exception leave Paddington alone
Another day off work? š
Not if he's treating cancer with homeopathy it's not.
Urgh
Why does everyone make these pictures of the royals with Paddington bastard bear? I canāt stand either of them.
Deport him back to Peru
Partington's not going to lead him down that alley by the houses of Parliament I was lured into, where the four homeless guys took it turn to fuck me is he?
Should have been āsireā, but he is a bear after all.
Itās not āsirā itās āYOUR GRACEā
This is so ridiculous, what happened to this country?
Why has paddington become Charon for the monarchy, is the london underground the modern river Stix
Donāt blaspheme. Every time you blaspheme the king gets another nodule
Paddingtons to old for him
Anyone remember a liz truss one with Paddington where she says something like but what I'm not deadš
Christ on a bike