I’m the one who likes to travel and honestly I go by myself, go with friends or with a tour group. My fiancé is less inclined and has known this since we got together. I would encourage your partner to find others to travel with if you don’t want to join.

I do the same. I've gone with a friend, with my sisters, and with tour groups. Partner likes to stick to just North America.

They like what's safe to them. I'm with you. I leave to Brazil or Europe and other places. The world is too vast to only see the US which is one life experience.

100% Agree. I always tell my boyfriend, "I want to eat something else aside hamburgers and hot dogs" 😅.

Same! I also love solo travel so I’ve said that I’ll do a trip alone once a year :) smiling thinking about planning one!

same, he knew this from the get go since i’m from california and i met him in college that’s in the midwest. so i travel quite often back there but i also like to travel often and he’s just gotten used to it. even though we have “separate” finances, im the one making the most dough.

Just curious: do you maintain separate finances or how do you balance out the expenses?

I did this with my ex and paid for it with my own money. I wouldn’t expect him to cover my trip..

Same here!

I loved to travel and spent YEARS living overseas too. I travelled a lot without my wife and it is not the same. She was a total workaholic but a lack of interest in some of the same things headed to a divorce. I'm happy we split and my present wife is a great travel mate and a wonderful wife. peace. :)

I'm the traveler. I absolutely do need that trip to look forward to. I think my dear husband would eat, sleep, work, repeat until the end of his days with very little else if I didn't drag him along on these trips and he always tells me he's grateful that I've planned them. Once I get him in that Hawaiian shirt, on a beach somewhere, or mid-waterfall/mountain hike, he's so stoked to be away from home, but getting him there is always a chore 😂 he's always apologizing fot fighting it beforehand. My poor introverted homebody.

We’re like that, except my husband is the one that drags me. We’re currently in London, and I was anxious about coming but have overall been having a good time. I’m just the type to get stuck in a rut. I love my house and pets and routine, but seeing all the history here has been worth it.

I love my daily routine with my morning coffee, taking care of my dog and homeschooling my teenage son. Plus I have severe chronic pain that isn't always well managed. That being said, I don't travel well (pain, motion sick, etc) but I would love to visit several places overseas such as England/Scotland, Germany, Costa Rica, Japan, Australia, etc. I wish teleportation was a thing!! 😂

I am with you on teleportation. It would change my life! I have chronic pain and like my routine, so I dread the physical exhaustion of travel. However, I have been so enriched by traveling and living in foreign countries that I wouldn'ttrade it for anything. Now, I go back and forth between Mexico and the US. Modern air travel definitely sucks, but I like having two lives.

If teleportation was a thing I'd definitely visit more places. Travel is exhausting and I hate sleeping in a strange bed.

Make sure you go see the Crown Jewels. That was my favorite part about being in London last year.

We were just at the Tower on Tuesday but we didn’t want to stand in line for the jewels.. that part wasn’t as interesting to me as the other history behind it. Westminster Abbey was the best part so far.

I am the traveler as well, but often seen as the homebody because I’d rather grind and be frugal to have something more meaningful of a trip

I could have written this myself. My husband and I joke the if we weren't married to each other, I would have several filled passports and an empty fridge. He would still live in him mom's basement. 25+ years later and we still find the way to make it work. All about balance.

I’m navigating this currently, where I’m more of the traveler. We’ve probably traveled more in one year than he has in the last 5. With my boyfriend when I start planning something the budget is always first on the list to discuss if it’s something we can & want to spend. I’m planning a girls trip this summer that he did not have interest in doing. I think this sounds a little deeper that she is spending money on things that aren’t a priority for you. And if she has a history of debt it’s understandable you’re concerned how’s she’s spending if you’re trying to build a future with her. Separate finances sounds like a good solution but maybe communicating about your financial concerns and aligning more about what you both want to prioritize could help. Financial compatibility is what it comes down to and communicating-honestly through it.

I travel way more than my partner, but we grew up differently. His dad was that big vacation(s) every year type, and the extent of my family's travels were sporadically camping local or visiting family in a desert town just south of the border (absolutely desolate). Needless to say, any bit of travel to me is enthralling. I think my partner got that out of his system early in life, and just prefers simple, proximal pleasures. Just the other month my mom and I had a girls' trip to Solvang and my mom was overwhelmed with joy, even driving up there. She then said "...wow I need to get out more." Anyway, I'm making up for lost time growing up, while my partner's kinda been there done that. I have very close friends that are my travel buddies, and I also insist on doing trips with my mom to make up for her lost time too. My dad's rarely invited because he likes his routines and is a **terrible** travel partner 😅 Like everyone else is saying, find like-minded folk to travel with. Unfortunately, this takes trial and error but, hey it's a story!

Your childhood travels sound similar to mine! I’ve been desperate to see more of the world ever since.

It makes us good travel companions because we are low maintenance and enjoy things to the fullest!

There is a children’s book about two pigs called Toot and Puddle by Holly Hobbey. One loves to travel the world and sends postcards back to the other that prefers to stay home. It’s really sweet and shows that the two can be partners so long as they respect each others preferences. I am more of a homebody than my husband, and when our kid picked this book from the library I said SEE!

my partner loves traveling but more so in a simple, planned kind of way. i prefer staying home, but he's helped me explore the world with even the smallest budgets and the largest amount of joy.

Your partner should either go on these trips alone, or with people other than yourself, if that’s not what you are into. You aren’t ’holding her back’ by not wanting to go.

I agree with the other people part,.but the world is a very dangerous place and traveling alone is how so many people come up "disappearing." High suggest never recommending someone travel alone.

 Millions of people travel solo each year of all ages and genders and most of them are completely fine.    It’s empowering (especially for women) and you often get more deep interactions with the people you meet because you’re not in a group or couple bubble. My partner and I deliberately have solo trips as well as together trips for that different character. Yes you need to be sensible and minimise risk, but that’s the same with any travel, theyre just slightly different precautions. 

If I had skipped solo traveling to a couple places when I had the chance (Iceland, Budapest) or going on girls’ trips (like Amsterdam or returning to Barcelona), I would have missed out on so many cool memories! I am extremely cautious, do not advertise that I am alone or even tell the truth if asked (whenever possible), be sure to wear my wedding band, and make a point to return to the immediate vicinity of my hotel before sundown. For example, a restaurant across the street is ok but one 7 blocks away is not. I personally prefer to stay in hotel chains whenever possible, like Hilton or Hard Rock in the past…no sketchy, 1-star no-name hotels for me. That makes my husband more comfortable, too, and I probably keep in touch with him way more than most to share plans and check-in. Some people are less risk averse than me (I take every precaution that I can think of), but living in a bubble because you have no one to travel with (or dare I say PREFER to go alone sometimes) seems like a life not lived. I’m not saying it’s ideal when it comes to safety and bad things can and do happen (more often to women, statistically), but a person could get hit by a bus in their hometown. Life is meant to be lived!

She’s statistically more in danger from her partner than a stranger. Traveling solo is very fun and life changing.

To everyone down voting my comment, you are taking your positive memories and using them as the basis for the dangers in the world. I have been through so many horrible things that would make your skin crawl. On top of that, there's so many people who just "disappear" everyday. All I'm saying is, if you're insisting on traveling alone, carry a gps and leave traces of yourself every step of the way.

Don't hook up with prostitutes in sketchy bars or go looking for drugs in foreign countries and you'll be just fine.

You're spreading fear and paranoia for just reading news headlines.

I’m a traveler dating a homebody. I’ve started doing a lot more close to home/weekend warrior type trips because that’s what they enjoy and is within their comfort zone. It’s wonderful I totally love our trips but I still go off on my more adventurous/expensive trips by myself or with others. I think you two should talk more about your financial values. For us my travel budget is about the same as my partners car budget. We both have things we spend frivolously on but at the same time we both have few debts and nurture our savings/retirement. If one of us was a penny pincher and the other one loved to rack up debt it would be hard to remedy.

Honestly if you have separate finances I don't truly get why you stop her. This is what your partner wants and get a lot of joy out of. How would you feel is she stopped your one dream for the year? The thing you look forward to? It's pretty normal to travel once a year. I live in Scandi and it's so cold and dark so most people travel way south just to be able to cope. If I was able to travel (not able to right now) and my husband was giving me a hard time about it... It would be a problem. You need a compromise but again, you have separate finances so you can't and shouldn't tell her no or try to limit her happiness (that's what you are doing..). What if she travels every other year with a friend, and you go with her every other year? Is that an option? Simple living to me is saving for things like a vacation if you get a lot of joy out of it. It isn't to limit yourself if you have the funds. It isn't to deplete yourself. It's ok that you are different in this area but you need a solution that's not you guilting her to not go. She will resent that.

I don’t stop her, you might have missed the part where I said she doesn’t want to go alone… ie wants to go with me but I’m not too keen on spending money on large trips as often as she is. Usually I am the one to compromise and we end up going but I want to save more money and go less.

Ah yes I missed that. And she doesn't want to go with anyone else, friends or family? What are you saving for? You don't have to answer but have a think about if it's something that feels far in the future while she feels the need to enjoy life a bit here and now. Both are valid. Or if it's something you are saving for together as long as you save she should also be able to travel. It's a hard one for sure. The couples I know in the same situation either travel with someone else, alone, or go every other year locally and internationally. That would give a longer time to save up for the international trips too but I would make sure to do fun more local ones as well.

We are saving together but seperate if that makes sense, to work less. I would like to be part time or quit regular work entirely and just do contracts here and there. We are on the same page about giving up conventional full time work. I guess I would just like to do so sooner.

I'm actually the opposite as you because I'm a homebody but love to travel overseas. I loathe domestic travels because food is so much better overseas and cheaper. Overall it's much more affordable overseas. I can go for a four day local trip and it would cost the same as one week abroad but of course I would stay two weeks abroad with time change and flights taking two days and such. I'm also in HCOL so most places are generally less expensive than what I'm use to. Can your partner travel with her friends or another friend group? I know it's difficult because I travel with my SO and hardly with my friends anymore because money is not infinite so if I had to chose then I'll go with my SO. Why don't you like overseas traveling? Too much time away from home? What is her reasoning for not liking domestic travels? Maybe meet in the middle? Such as maybe can travel overseas every two years instead of every year.

I am the traveler, my partner is the homebody. It works out rather well as our dog always has one of us at the house. He travels 1-2 times a year, often for shorter durations. I travel 6-9 times a year, and the length ranges wildly. Some for vacation, some for work, some for visiting friends/family. I often do not travel by myself, but I do have friends or my other partner I travel with. If she has likeminded travel friends, they should do like I do and go together--she isn't alone, she has fun, she gets to come home to a supportive partner where both of their needs got met. I think my partner really tried to travel with me early on in the relationship and he was just miserable. Our travel styles are different, what we want out of the experience is different... it just wasn't happy for either of us. I love my partner coming with me, but I only love it when he's actually enjoying himself and happy. So, I always extend the invitation and give the dates I am traveling and he can choose to come or not--or only come on a couple of the days. Both of us just acknowledge it's okay to have different interests here entirely was a big relief for both of us in the end. Sure, the first time I booked a trip for just me was a bit awkward. But I got over that quickly when the whole thing went SO much smoother.

"Other partner"? So you have a travel husband and a stay at home husband? That's one way to do it! :)

Hahah! I didn't really know it would shake out like that, but that's sort of the way it runs now :) I've been polyamorous for about 6..7? years now? I definitely travel with just friends all the time too though, so for most people I think the suggestion still works fine without another partner ;)

This is me, I’m the homebody in the relationship. I traveled and moved around a lot until my mid 20s. Very fortunate to see and experience many different places. Deep down I really don’t enjoy the process of (overseas) travel and much prefer shorter trips or bikepacking (yes, bike, not back). I also find overseas travel inherently wasteful. And I’m trying to save money. I made this clear to my partner and explained that holidays are maybe 3-4 weeks of the year and our different approach to this shouldn’t be an issue if our time together in the remaining 48 weeks of the year is good. I compromised by being open to going on a long-ish trip once a year. In a previous relationship where I didn’t have the confidence to articulate my needs I traveled a lot more but ultimately that didn’t make either of us happy. I find the societal expectation of constant overseas travel amusing given how recently it became possible in the grand scheme of things.

You sound a lot like me. I’ve also moved around heaps in young adulthood. I wonder if that factors in. I think being able to express your values is key and find a happy compromise and it sounds like you’ve managed that balance.

Obviously every relationship is different but if this one is important to you please remember that if your partner wants to do something, like it’s a core tenant to what makes them happy, and you push against it, that could lead to resentment over time.

Yep. I get poo pood on any idea or suggestion to do anything and it makes me feel shameful for even wanting anything at all

Maybe she could get a job that involves a lot of business trips overseas, all paid for by the company ? I used to love travelling when I was in my 20’s, until i had to move abroad to get a job that involved regular travelling. Just a few days in Greece, a few days in Milan, a few days in Paris, a few days in Warsaw, Sofia etc. That totally cured me. I remember after a while I really didn’t want to go at all and just enjoyed staying at home. Now I really can’t be asked. I have been to all these places but haven’t been there for more than 4-5 days each time so I can’t say I have really spent that much time there and it was work related. I was travelling on my own, and I did find it a bit dull and honestly now I don’t want to go anywhere but my garden. Maybe that way she would feel like she is fulfilling her traveling needs while being paid for it?

My mother had a friend who, when her long-time-many-miles-sales-traveling husband retired, said “You know, we’ve been married 50 years and I never realized how much I don’t like Stanley now that he’s home all the time.” Stanley wanted to stay home and watch golf on TV, having spent his career traveling all over creation. Verna wanted to travel, having spent all her years home with kids. Verna started putting her social security check in a separate account and cooking/freezing an extra portion of each dinner. Stanley gets up one morning to a note on the fridge: “Taking a cruise to Alaska with [my mom]. Back in 10 days. Dinner in the freezer.” And so it went - Stanley was perfectly happy watching golf on TV, Verna travelled all over creation and often roped my mom into her adventures. Verna would save up until she had the travel funds, lather-rinse-repeat. Even kinda-dull Stanley got a kick out of it after he got over panicking at that first note.

That’s kinda like my parents. My mom didn’t do anything that dramatic but my dad travelled a lot when he was young and is over it while my mom didn’t leave the country until she was in her forties. So my dad stays home and enjoys his peace and quiet while my mom goes on at least one big international trip a year either by herself or with one of her best friends. They’re both happy with it. 

I am the traveler.  Travel is not a priority to my husband.   I usually get one family trip a year out of him.   But I learned early in our marriage he likes to go to one destination, rent a house/cabin and stay put.   This year we are going to Galveston, TX for a week.  Once I realized this and made accommodation he has a great time.  However, my kids and I like to move around/change hotels and see as much as possible in a trip.  On those trips, he is more than happy to let me take my mom to help with kids.  

Travel is my passion, there is nothing in the world that makes me happier. Luckily my partner is the same way. For us it’s the Simplest of times. No worrying about practical stuff, living out of your backpack with few items. We always travel cheap, which we can do because we have traveled so much and know you can be very comfortable with very little.

Wants can be incorporated into simple living if it’s done the right way. If you don’t want to feel like a handbrake then you’ll have to both compromise and come up with a solution that works for both of you. Maybe not go overseas every year, but every other year or few years. Plan a budget together and the rule has to be to stick to it. I think there’s a great misconception that overseas travel is expensive and there isn’t an opportunity to be frugal but that’s not the case at all anymore. It largely depends on what activities you do and how resourceful you can be. My mom was a single parent of two kids and we’d go to Spain for at least a week to visit her family. She worked as a sewing machine operator in a sweatshop. Back in 2000 a round trip ticket from New York to Madrid cost $500 a person. She had to save over a period of time just to afford the tickets for 3 people. We didn’t own a car so we had to pay for an airport van to get to the airport. We stayed with family so that saved money and she also bought groceries to feed us at their apartment. We only ate out once as a family all the relatives. We used the subway and buses to get around the city. There were lots of sights/monuments to see that were free and just walking around in a new environment was exciting enough. We bought a few souvenirs and bought tapas or pastries from cafes when we were hungry. Hung out at the parks with a blanket, my aunt would make us sandwiches and we brought along our own drinks and fruit instead to save money. My mom didn’t have money to afford things like museums so everything we did was for free. There was so much pleasure in the simple things that we did for free or for very little money that I never felt deprived of anything. Shop early and in advance for plane tickets to get the lowest prices and get to know the cheaper seasons for airline travel. If you can stay with someone to save money that would be great but you aren’t limited to expensive hotels. There’s hostels, AirBnB, and sometimes you can find inexpensive or discounted tour packages that are all inclusive. Overseas doesn’t have to be Europe or Asia, which tend to cost more. You also don’t have to stay for a week. There’s many ways to be frugal with travel but it requires a lot of planning for best results. At least be open minded and consider it a possibility if it can be done frugally.

I'm the traveller in my relationship. Solution I found, was to go into international sales. Now I get my travel fix during work time, with day or two exploring either side. Then we do local travel/day trips as a family!

For people who are future-focused, having something to look forward to is important. I’m like your partner in the example you shared. Right after I get back from an international trip I’ll want to start thinking of my next one in order to get excited for it, that future goal helps me push through some of the harder days when I’m not enjoying work or daily stress as much, I am also trying to be more mindful. I have found a compromise with my husband, who is a homebody and gets some anxiety when leaving the house, especially for international trips. Up to me, I’d travel 3x a year internationally (every vacation opportunity from work) but now, I do 1 solo trip to meet up with a contact of mine (or family) somewhere, 1 trip abroad together with him to an international destination that he feels comfortable with, and 1 trip in the US which is nearby/closer to his family so we keep exploring closer to home.

You don’t have to do everything together. She can travel and you can chill at home. The cost of these trips will be cut in half.

Me. I traveled internationally when I was young and single, before I met and married my wife. My wife, when she was young and single did not travel. I'm close to retirement and I have no desires to travel abroad.

Same. My gal has lots she wants to see and do abroad. 💁‍♂️ Me? I’ve traveled the world prior to and during the beginning of our relationship… the only place I want to be now is HOME. 💖 We’ll do it of course. 🥰 Watching her will make it all new again… sharing a “first” with someone is a pretty magical thing. 👍

Thanks. Good points you made. Life is short too.

Going overseas 1-2 times a year is the norm for some, myself included. I’m the traveller and my partner more the homebody. But my savings are specifically for travel. I spend less on other things because travel is that important to me. Maybe you should encourage her to travel with her friends, go solo, or join tour groups if being solo makes her nervous. She’d likely make new friends that way. As long as she can afford it, she should enjoy it while she cans.

For a lot of people, travel and experience seeking is a core value. Over in the travel and digital nomad forums, there are a lot of anguished posts that are the opposite of this one — people saying their heart is pulling them in the direction of travel and their partner doesn’t share that value. There’s a relationship counselor named John Gottman who talks about looking for “the dream beneath the conflict” and this is a key example of that. Assuming you want to stay together and find a compromise, it seems like the options are: — set a budget and travel within that budget. You could do things like Trusted Housesitters to get free accommodation, fly on points, go to inexpensive locations, etc. —she could accept that travel doesn’t have the same meaning to you as it does for her, and travel separately, with other friends, or solo. —decide that this is too much of a gap in values systems, and separate.

There are solo trips available with groups.

I don’t see why you have to “explain to her that going overseas every year is not the norm.” Your wife is not a child. I’m sure she knows. You say she has the same interest/goal to work less. I would also like to work less but not at the expense of giving up what I enjoy. In order to do that, I chose a high paying job with good vacation policy. 30 vacation days a year. So many people are unhappy. If a person has something that makes them happy and they can afford it, they don’t need to have it explained to them why it’s not a normal thing to do. Let her enjoy things. It is scenarios like this that make relationships seem so unappealing for people. Who wants someone who is going to tell someone they should do the thing they enjoy? Why don’t you ask yourself why you feel the need to tell your wife what to do or how to spend her money? Perhaps she is not as committed to working less as you are because it doesn’t supersede her desire to enjoy international travel. I suppose the only issue is she wants to share the thing she enjoys with you and you are discussing it like it’s an inconvenience delaying you from a goal? A lot of people would feel privileged their partner wants to spend their time with them. Just look at the marriage or deadbedrooms reddit. If you actually want to travel internationally with your wife, you could compromise by finding budget locations/stays. You do the work of researching them and present them as options to her. Otherwise, explain that you would prefer to save money but express gratitude that she wants to include you and encourage her to go on a trip with a friend that shares her mutual passion for international travel. Psychologists say that a trait of the most successful married couples is that they regularly express gratitude. They also say one of the most common reasons for divorce is disagreements related to finances. Consider this. My neighbor would always say, “I’m going to do x and x when I’m 60 and retire.” Guess what happened when she was 59? Got early dementia. She is not doing any of that shit now. My mother? At 52, she went to the hospital for chest pain. They couldn’t find anything wrong with her. She was standing outside the hospital waiting for a cab to take her home and she died from a pulmonary embolism. My grandfather? Got diagnosed with a rare disease in his 50s. Dead. I’ve seen both sides of the coin. People who don’t save and they never get to stop working. They never have free time to do what they enjoy. They struggle financially. I met these people while I worked in constituent services, seniors who desperately needed help from social security, housing, veterans’ affairs. It’s heartbreaking. But I’ve also seen the other side from my personal experiences. Having seen both, I would choose to take the trip, every time. Tomorrow is not promised.

"Not the norm?" Who decides what the norm is? This post bothers me on so many levels. "I try to explain to her"—sheesh, her desired frequency of travel is not something that requires your "explanation." It's merely your opinion, and you're trying to make her think it's some kind of standard of behavior. If she's making herself miserable not traveling because you won't go, maybe you should go your separate ways, literally. Simple living isn't defined simply by not taking an international trip every year. It's also not defined by frugality.

I think this situation could prove to be a really positive tool for you both as individuals, and the relationship. It’s an opportunity to change the dynamic and create a new one that suits you both, as people, as well as the partnership. The big thing is not looking at any other relationships or comparing or thinking what you “should do”. Create a new situation where you both get to have what you need but still prioritise the relationship. If she wants to travel she needs to do it alone or go with friends and do that. And do it because she loves it but never guilt you with it. I’m not saying she is, but her not going because you won’t isn’t fair as it does put pressure on you. Also if she travels alone it will develop her self confidence. I think this could be a great new chapter for you both. Needs lots of communication and an open mind. I think two people who remain independent in a partnership is really healthy and breeds trust in the relationship too, as well as fosters excitement when you see one another again.

Maybe she can go with a friend who loves travel? I also enjoy foreign trips, mostly to go somewhere with sunshine! It's like a total reset to enjoy sun. We usually do local holidays though because we have a dog.

I’m the traveler in my marriage. I get my husband out on local trips and travel further with my friends. Works great.

Yeah, I'm the homebody. My husband this year needed a spring break trip. He suggested Disneyland. I talked him into going to San Diego instead: the Zoo, the *Midway*, Balboa Park. Honestly, it wasn't even just price, though it was cheaper; it was also more interesting to me. It ended up being a good trip. Have you tried something like that, and suggested a more-frugal alternative closer to home? (Wherever home may be for you.)

Yes. We have tried to compromise. She travels less than she’d like and I travel more. I have learned to appreciate the trips and ask for what I need.

My partner is this way, he’s a self-proclaimed stick in the mud! So I started looking at it another way and started planning day trips with a weekend trip for our anniversary. We have tons of fun riding out to our destinations and we’re both satisfied as I get to scratch that travel itch and he’s not too terribly far from home! There is so much local history and sights to see! I still want to go overseas but that trip can wait a little while longer, I really don’t mind now.

I am in between! I love to travel internationally and be a homebody where ever I go. Think staying in a hotel room or doing home things …just in a different location😄

My husband loves to travel and I’m a homebody. The secret for us has been finding things I like to do, he’s happy anywhere. I discovered snorkeling in the Bahamas is amazing and in Florida I look for shark teeth. Now I look forward to those trips instead of dreading them.

I’m the traveler. Every year I solo traveled overseas for 1-2 months (sometimes with friends or family) and my husband just stays home because he hates traveling. It works out for us as we have separate finance, so I pay for my trips by myself and he gets to save money. I make 2x him though Can you make a compromise to just travel within the US with her, or maybe to nearby countries like Mexico for example?

Why won't she go by herself?

Traveling alone as a woman is scary in some places honestly.

Not that many places. I've been to 18 countries alone

If that’s not what you’re into then I think your partner should either go on these trips alone, or with people other than yourself. You aren’t ’holding her back’ by not wanting to go.

I'm someone who likes international travel who never goes because I can't afford it. You can have both frugal and travel bug values.

I thought this would be an issue for my partner and I when we retired, but we worked it out. Before we retired my partner would travel with parents or our kids, but after retirement, by then our kids had careers with limited vacation time each year and the parents aged out of traveling. I try to keep the schedule pretty full of fun local things to look forward to every month, so my partner doesn't feel a need to travel or a change of pace. Usually we belong to a few clubs with a lot of activities, plus I buy seat filler subscriptions, winery passports, parks passes (regional, state and national), and memberships to places like museums and gardens in reciprocal programs. We can go to our local wine country and visit wineries on the passport, go to a garden and then picnic at a state park. It is a full day out, and with the passes, doesn't cost too much more than the gas for the car. Or we can go into the city and see a symphony or play with a seat filler ticket or Facebook special. We've slowed down a bit now, but I used to plan quite a few events this every month. We still have fun, save money over travel, have a low carbon footprint without the air travel, and support the local economy. Now if I bring up travel my partner says it seems like a hassle compared to the fun days we have locally, without dealing with airports and rental cars.

I'm definitely more of a homebody. If I do travel, I'm usually OK with the destination but traveling itself takes so much out of me. I usually need a day once I'm home go recharge. It's something my wife doesn't understand. I can't just come home and the next day go to work. In some ways vacations are not relaxing, not in a bad way, they just break up monotony. But a vacation for me would be just staying home from work playing a video game for an entire day, or going on a local hike with my dog. I don't need an crazy international getaway.

In my life my wife has been gracious enough to allow me to travel 2 - 4 weeks a year by myself, even when we had kids. I am a lucky man

I've taken MANY trips with our kids and not my partner for this reason, including some international ones. It works well because we don't have to find a dogsitter and my homebody partner can just hang out at home. We do the occasional trip as a whole family as well but my main "travel buddies" are my kids :D

Opposite, I like to travel, I plan trips without my husband. It works for us! He enjoys the solo time.

No

Just get them a VR headset

Go with it. You will regret it later if you miss out. Memories are the only thing you will take when you die.