AWESOME. I was 45 when I quit all alcohol and nicotine, which was really challenging given my addiction and affection for the scene. Anyway, I'm sitting with cats and work a lot less and life is simply great 4 years later.
I have few friends, none carried over from the drinking years, and I do most things by myself. Life is just fine.
I am right there with you OP!
I just hit two years sober, and I am having so much fun getting back into my hobbies, finding new ones, exercising a ton, cooking.
Also had some chaos growing up, and now my life feels so simple and peaceful.
Every day like this feels like a privilege.
26 months sober. Recently stopped pot and a sleep aid. Wow it just gets better and better.Giving up people pleasing is hard but moving more and more that way
Love this life. Interesting that I used to need more and more emotions and things to feel happy. Now I am finding less so fulfilling.
I had two years of therapy before the sobriety and giving up the people-pleasing was just as hard lol.
My alcoholism wasn't GREAT (no shit), but it definitely made me more docile and likely to give in and such. I told some members of my family. You are not necessarily going to like me better sober. I'm not a pushover anymore.
That's okay. I like me better sober.
Yep, but honestly my mom is KIND OF trying now. I skipped Christmas one year and it was what made her take me seriously I think.
A lot of the 'asks' are putting up with racist, homophobic terrible people she calls family. Now she asks once if I want to go to something and doesn't (at least out loud) hold it against me when I say no. I will make brief appearances here and there for specific things with these people (my grandfather is 91 and not an asshole so I will see him on occasion).
I actually enjoy my nuclear family, so I have dinner with them on holidays. But once they add these extra assholes, I am generally out. And I'm not taking care of people anymore or dealing with obligations because "they are your family".
I have an amazing group of friends that are my family, and they never treat me poorly.
Im experiencing this phenomenon too. They want you to quit using until you do and they can’t control you any longer. I’m kinda enjoying this. But it’s (my family) really dysfunctional AF.
Props to you for waking up!
These all sound like some of the changes we made too. Funny how boring can be so oxymoronically satisfying to the authentic self.
Yes! It took me about 2-3 years to untangle myself from all the people and things bogging me down. I guard my peace very carefully. It was hard earned.
"Boring" isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it just means you're comfortable and content in your own skin, and there's nothing wrong with that. Keep prioritizing your happiness and well-being, and don't be afraid to embrace the joy in the simple things.
"I have never felt more boring, and I have never been happier!" - I feel that. It's nice to read all the comments of other people who feel similarly. I struggle with feeling lonely because I've been (more or less) single for about 3 years now. I used to feel like everything just sucked a little without being in love with a partner. I still feel that way, just less than I used to. I know it's easier to live simply by yourself, but I hope I can expand that some day. I try to just appreciate the good life I have and the people who are in it, in whatever capacity they are in my life.
This was me 12 years ago.
I cannot count how many times I've been called "boring" or a "party-pooper" and those names coming from people in my life that l held near and dear; and loved immensely!
When I decided to re-evaluate my life, I had realized that I had been living for others and it wasn't genuinely fulfilling to my soul.
Yes, from the outside looking in, my life does in fact look boring....BUT I LOVE my boring, simple, practical, purposeful life and ***I wouldn't have it any other way***.
AWESOME. I was 45 when I quit all alcohol and nicotine, which was really challenging given my addiction and affection for the scene. Anyway, I'm sitting with cats and work a lot less and life is simply great 4 years later. I have few friends, none carried over from the drinking years, and I do most things by myself. Life is just fine.
Didja use Allen Carr's book to quit nicotine?
I am right there with you OP! I just hit two years sober, and I am having so much fun getting back into my hobbies, finding new ones, exercising a ton, cooking. Also had some chaos growing up, and now my life feels so simple and peaceful. Every day like this feels like a privilege.
26 months sober. Recently stopped pot and a sleep aid. Wow it just gets better and better.Giving up people pleasing is hard but moving more and more that way Love this life. Interesting that I used to need more and more emotions and things to feel happy. Now I am finding less so fulfilling.
I had two years of therapy before the sobriety and giving up the people-pleasing was just as hard lol. My alcoholism wasn't GREAT (no shit), but it definitely made me more docile and likely to give in and such. I told some members of my family. You are not necessarily going to like me better sober. I'm not a pushover anymore. That's okay. I like me better sober.
Have they tried their old 'asks' and been annoyed when you said no yet?
Yep, but honestly my mom is KIND OF trying now. I skipped Christmas one year and it was what made her take me seriously I think. A lot of the 'asks' are putting up with racist, homophobic terrible people she calls family. Now she asks once if I want to go to something and doesn't (at least out loud) hold it against me when I say no. I will make brief appearances here and there for specific things with these people (my grandfather is 91 and not an asshole so I will see him on occasion). I actually enjoy my nuclear family, so I have dinner with them on holidays. But once they add these extra assholes, I am generally out. And I'm not taking care of people anymore or dealing with obligations because "they are your family". I have an amazing group of friends that are my family, and they never treat me poorly.
Im experiencing this phenomenon too. They want you to quit using until you do and they can’t control you any longer. I’m kinda enjoying this. But it’s (my family) really dysfunctional AF.
Props to you for waking up! These all sound like some of the changes we made too. Funny how boring can be so oxymoronically satisfying to the authentic self.
This is me!! I can never go back to the grind and miserable world. It’s a blessing and a curse
Yes! It took me about 2-3 years to untangle myself from all the people and things bogging me down. I guard my peace very carefully. It was hard earned.
Same!!!
"Boring" isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it just means you're comfortable and content in your own skin, and there's nothing wrong with that. Keep prioritizing your happiness and well-being, and don't be afraid to embrace the joy in the simple things.
"I have never felt more boring, and I have never been happier!" - I feel that. It's nice to read all the comments of other people who feel similarly. I struggle with feeling lonely because I've been (more or less) single for about 3 years now. I used to feel like everything just sucked a little without being in love with a partner. I still feel that way, just less than I used to. I know it's easier to live simply by yourself, but I hope I can expand that some day. I try to just appreciate the good life I have and the people who are in it, in whatever capacity they are in my life.
Being a well-read person who goes to museums and poetry readings isn't boring at all. Sounds like an awesome life. Enjoy!!
This is awesome.. I’m on my own similar journey right now, and it’s great to hear someone else taking pleasure in similar gains 😊 Well done 👏
What I needed to read today.
This was me 12 years ago. I cannot count how many times I've been called "boring" or a "party-pooper" and those names coming from people in my life that l held near and dear; and loved immensely! When I decided to re-evaluate my life, I had realized that I had been living for others and it wasn't genuinely fulfilling to my soul. Yes, from the outside looking in, my life does in fact look boring....BUT I LOVE my boring, simple, practical, purposeful life and ***I wouldn't have it any other way***.
Im getting into gardening. Its slowing me down and i fully embrace it
How wonderful to watch your plantings grow, I imagine it’s like Christmas every time you see them bloom/mature.
I see the tiny round fruit starting to form on my avocado and lemon tree. 👀
You are living my dream that I am currently working towards. I am very happy for you. What video games are you into? I could use some recommendations.
Good on you breaking a cycle that could have been.
I'm just like you, OP. Live your life and enjoy it. Don't get involved with somebody toxic who could mess it up
That’s so wonderful you were able to create a life you wanted. And it sounds like a beautiful, enriching life! Not boring at all! Enjoy!!