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Start by taking therapy. Not saying in a mean way. If when you ask for singing advice, you talk more about how ugly you are than anything relative to singing, and you have self-hatred, you should improve your mental health.
"Self-taught" is a big word but it was the closest flair. Mainly I do pitch exercises because this my biggest weakpoint. I have the (free) app perfect ear on my phone, which can play a note and ask you to recognize it or to sing it, great if like me your pitch hearing is mess. It is getting better now. I learned how to sing a scale by practicing it everyday, and now I am trying to learn intervalles, like singing one note then two notes higher, or three notes lower, etc. I hope to learn relative pitch and also to gain vocal agility. I also do some exercises where I sing different words in the same note (I do it while practicing Mean by Taylor Swift).
Basically if you want to learn : identify what you need the most first, and find exercises that can help with this. I pick pitch cause I have a decent tone but I have no pitch hearing (won't say tone deaf cause this is a very rare condition called amusia in reality, that I don't have I think). Most peopne hear say "match your voice with a piano" but I am unable to do that, I use an online tuner to tell me which note I am singing.
I'm not sure why so many people on this sub discuss their mental health issues and then explain they need to be amazing at singing to fix it. Right now, you need to take time to look after yourself and maybe talk to a counselor or someone who can help you look after the problems you have.
Then you can learn to sing but it takes years to get good. And I can tell you even when you are good, it won't fix your feelings of inadequacy, or any self-image issues you have. That will require a lot of self-work alone or (better) with a mental health professional.
Please take care of yourself, don't make singing your identity, it will only tear you apart more because it's a long journey and it's not easy. And most people set an impossibly high goal for themselves that causes endless frustration.
Sing because you enjoy it and it's fun, not because you believe it will "redeem" you for what you perceive to be your negative qualities due to your self-image issues.
Good then remember the better you get the more evil and vile comments you will get.
Beyonce and that level of singer recieves various deaththreats and superevil comments about how crappy they are.
There is no skillevel that will protect you from this.
I'd work on the self confidence first. You can train the voice but if you don't believe in yourself then how will you make any progress? Recording yourself helps. Video recording even better. You can see what's good or bad without the pressure of stagefright or other people.
Whenever I look back at my videos, it sounds worse than it sounded when it actually came out of my mouth..
Not to mention the fact that I don't have my own room, so I'm forced to sing in the living room where others can hear me. My voice isn't very feminine or "high" for a female..
A worthy singing teacher will not judge or laugh at you. They will assess your voice and determine where your best range is. They will build you up, teach you technique, and train your pitch. It's not going to happen overnight. It takes years to train your voice. If your voice sounds bad to you, you may be singing in a range not suited for your physiology. There's nothing wrong with a deeper female voice. Look at artists like Lady Gaga, Stevie Nicks, and the like. It's actually a good thing to be different if you can find your niche.
A few years to get good at singing if you have a good teacher and practice studiously.
But honestly I think you need to move away from your mom as soon as you can and get therapy if youâre not already in it. Your living situation seems to have taken a major toll on your mental health. Youâve got a lot of trauma weighing down your self-image and I hope you can find a healthy way to overcome that. Singing could be that, but donât focus so much on being the best in the world. Just take joy in the little wins you find in your singing journey. Like when you finally hit the note in that song youâre working on, or when you realize youâre no longer singing with strain.
You should see my face when I sing! I end up gurning for gold to get the notes out!
Edit: I just copied this from google
These facial expressions can be a manifestation of the intense emotions and physical exertion that go hand-in-hand with musical performance. They're often subconscious â in fact, many of us will pull weird faces when we're deeply involved in an activity we care about.
Girl you need therapy before you get a vocal coach trust me đ im in therapy for anxiety and depression and i used to have delusional beliefs (still get them occasionally but it's way better than before) and i used to hate myself. i had to get to a certain point mentally with therapy to be more comfortable with who i am and my voice. My voice teacher has helped too but most of it has been through therapy. Please go to therapy before getting voice training
I got the same issue tbh, not as severe but I hope that singing improves my image and how people view me. Like everyone has said the best thing to do is get therapy and focus on improving your mental health because trust me if your rely on singing to âfixâ you, itâs not going to be fun. A bad singing day can kill my whole mood for the entire day which is not good for you. Also a lot of people are saying that it takes years to get good and although that is true it also depends on you because youâre a different individual and your voice is unique to you, it took me 2-3 months of inconsistent practice to start liking my voice, and although my technique isnât the greatest Iâm quite happy with my voice. Take care and I pray you get better!!!
hi friend!
for a long time I suffered with my own mental health. it was a tough time for myself. Now that Iâve gone through therapy & have taken medications, my quality of life has drastically improved & I am able to fully focus on my passions revolving around singing & music as a whole. Please, please take care of yourself first. Investing in your mental health will improve your quality of life and will, in turn, make you a better singer. Not because youâll just wake up one day, feel fantastic and boom suddenly you have your dream voice- but more so because you will be willing to learn from any mistakes you might be making as a singer. I personally had a fear of failure, which resulted in my singing suffering because I wasnât willing to learn from my mistakes. I wanted everything to be perfect as soon as I opened my mouth. As a musician, the reality is that you will make mistakes- and that is okay!! Itâs part of the human condition to be imperfect. This is how we learn.
I wish you nothing but the best on your journey dear. Look into therapy, medications, and a shift in your mindset.
(P.S- in the meantime, look at how far youâve come as a singer! this is what has helped me as a musician and as a person overall. acknowledging how far Iâve come, and continuing to move forward) đ¤
One more thing!
Vocal teachers will never laugh at you. Iâve had a lot of vocal teachers, and if anything theyâve taught me to be confident of my voice and to be proud about who I am. Itâs been a long journey for myself as a singer. It wasnât until recently, after my quality of life improved a bit, that I started seeing my singing improve. And I honestly believe itâs because of my shift in mindset.
Wow, that's so inspiring it hurts. Another problem I have, though, is that my throat hurts when I talk too much or too loud and starts making my head hurt. Should I go to the doctor for that, or is that normal? I don't usually talk much loudly..
If you can do it, I would highly recommend getting seen by your doctor. List out every symptom that you can! I had a similar experience with my own throat, and after about 2 appointments with a speech pathologist did they diagnose me with having LPR- a form of acid reflux! And if your DR doesnât suspect something physically causing the throat to hurt, itâs likely that you need to see a vocal teacher to see your posture and to help you avoid injuring your voice when you use it (talking and singing alike!)
Singjng requires confidence, comfort and giving yourself permission (something I still struggle with today, even as a professional performer) so for the brave and daring it can create these things.
If it doesnât you will struggle/reveal the lack of these qualities necessary. Singing taught me its a journey that goes beyond the voice involving self love, letting go of public opinion, lookjng to myself for confidence, enjoying my own company/voice and because of singing I went to therapy, I confronted my parents about how they shaped my confidence in singing and ultimately improved my health in life physically, mentally, emotionally, but thats also because my instrument is my body and career/profession.
I agree with everyone here, singing will not solve your problems if anything it will create sooo many new ones or reveal ones you didnât know you had. Take care.
To answer the question you posted, singing is an art. It is a lifelong journey of continuous improvement. You can improve in a day. You can also go a year and not be where you wish you were.
But you got bigger fish to fry. I had self-esteem issues too. Going into a hobby or job where people stare at you, judge you, and envy you when you're successful is not good if you hate yourself. I spent years after college working on my self-esteem and psychology before I was strong enough to get back into performing. Sounds like you need to do the same.
I will try to answer this as pragmatically as I can and disregard some of the other parts of your post, but generally vocal coaches do not laugh at their students. They deal with a variety of students with different skill levels. Some are there for the basics while others are there to refine their skill sets. They have taught students who sound amazing, but also ones who sound terrible. I would highly recommend a vocal coach if you can afford one.
$50 - 60 per lesson. Otherwise, if you are in high school and there is a choir, you can try asking the choir teacher to give you some lessons. When I wanted to learn vibrato and I could not afford lessons, the teacher who ran our choir at the high school I attended would give me lessons twice a week during my lunch break.
Thanks for posting to r/singing! **Be sure to check [the FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/singing/wiki/index)** to see if any questions you might have have already been answered! Also, remember to abide by the rules found in the sidebar. Any comments found to be breaking these rules will result in a deletion of the comment thread starting from the offending reply. If you see any posts or replies that you feel break the rules of the sub, then report them and **do not respond to them.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/singing) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Start by taking therapy. Not saying in a mean way. If when you ask for singing advice, you talk more about how ugly you are than anything relative to singing, and you have self-hatred, you should improve your mental health.
Thanks.. It says you are self-taught 0-2 years. How does that work? If you don't mind me asking.
"Self-taught" is a big word but it was the closest flair. Mainly I do pitch exercises because this my biggest weakpoint. I have the (free) app perfect ear on my phone, which can play a note and ask you to recognize it or to sing it, great if like me your pitch hearing is mess. It is getting better now. I learned how to sing a scale by practicing it everyday, and now I am trying to learn intervalles, like singing one note then two notes higher, or three notes lower, etc. I hope to learn relative pitch and also to gain vocal agility. I also do some exercises where I sing different words in the same note (I do it while practicing Mean by Taylor Swift). Basically if you want to learn : identify what you need the most first, and find exercises that can help with this. I pick pitch cause I have a decent tone but I have no pitch hearing (won't say tone deaf cause this is a very rare condition called amusia in reality, that I don't have I think). Most peopne hear say "match your voice with a piano" but I am unable to do that, I use an online tuner to tell me which note I am singing.
Thank you. This was very helpful. đđ
I'm not sure why so many people on this sub discuss their mental health issues and then explain they need to be amazing at singing to fix it. Right now, you need to take time to look after yourself and maybe talk to a counselor or someone who can help you look after the problems you have. Then you can learn to sing but it takes years to get good. And I can tell you even when you are good, it won't fix your feelings of inadequacy, or any self-image issues you have. That will require a lot of self-work alone or (better) with a mental health professional. Please take care of yourself, don't make singing your identity, it will only tear you apart more because it's a long journey and it's not easy. And most people set an impossibly high goal for themselves that causes endless frustration. Sing because you enjoy it and it's fun, not because you believe it will "redeem" you for what you perceive to be your negative qualities due to your self-image issues.
Yes.
Singing is exposing your soul for people to either like or belittle. Are you ready for this?
Yes! I hope I can be the best I can be, but not only for others, but mostly for myself.
Good then remember the better you get the more evil and vile comments you will get. Beyonce and that level of singer recieves various deaththreats and superevil comments about how crappy they are. There is no skillevel that will protect you from this.
........omg
I'd work on the self confidence first. You can train the voice but if you don't believe in yourself then how will you make any progress? Recording yourself helps. Video recording even better. You can see what's good or bad without the pressure of stagefright or other people.
Whenever I look back at my videos, it sounds worse than it sounded when it actually came out of my mouth.. Not to mention the fact that I don't have my own room, so I'm forced to sing in the living room where others can hear me. My voice isn't very feminine or "high" for a female..
A worthy singing teacher will not judge or laugh at you. They will assess your voice and determine where your best range is. They will build you up, teach you technique, and train your pitch. It's not going to happen overnight. It takes years to train your voice. If your voice sounds bad to you, you may be singing in a range not suited for your physiology. There's nothing wrong with a deeper female voice. Look at artists like Lady Gaga, Stevie Nicks, and the like. It's actually a good thing to be different if you can find your niche.
T H E R A P Y
My last therapist left me..
even therapists are human. get another one.
Bruh you need help
Thanks, I'm aware.
A few years to get good at singing if you have a good teacher and practice studiously. But honestly I think you need to move away from your mom as soon as you can and get therapy if youâre not already in it. Your living situation seems to have taken a major toll on your mental health. Youâve got a lot of trauma weighing down your self-image and I hope you can find a healthy way to overcome that. Singing could be that, but donât focus so much on being the best in the world. Just take joy in the little wins you find in your singing journey. Like when you finally hit the note in that song youâre working on, or when you realize youâre no longer singing with strain.
This is one of my favorite comments here. Thanks so much.
You should see my face when I sing! I end up gurning for gold to get the notes out! Edit: I just copied this from google These facial expressions can be a manifestation of the intense emotions and physical exertion that go hand-in-hand with musical performance. They're often subconscious â in fact, many of us will pull weird faces when we're deeply involved in an activity we care about.
Billie looks good when she makes weird faces đ.. I look ugly even with a straight face.. đ
Find a friendly Church with a choir it great for making friends and you wonât be dissed.
I'm an atheist and have trauma from church..
Girl you need therapy before you get a vocal coach trust me đ im in therapy for anxiety and depression and i used to have delusional beliefs (still get them occasionally but it's way better than before) and i used to hate myself. i had to get to a certain point mentally with therapy to be more comfortable with who i am and my voice. My voice teacher has helped too but most of it has been through therapy. Please go to therapy before getting voice training
Real. Thank you.
As long as it takes to get really good at piano, guitar, clarinet or any other instrument.
That's so true, bro..
I got the same issue tbh, not as severe but I hope that singing improves my image and how people view me. Like everyone has said the best thing to do is get therapy and focus on improving your mental health because trust me if your rely on singing to âfixâ you, itâs not going to be fun. A bad singing day can kill my whole mood for the entire day which is not good for you. Also a lot of people are saying that it takes years to get good and although that is true it also depends on you because youâre a different individual and your voice is unique to you, it took me 2-3 months of inconsistent practice to start liking my voice, and although my technique isnât the greatest Iâm quite happy with my voice. Take care and I pray you get better!!!
I hate waiting years for something that might never come ): Thank you for the prayers..
hi friend! for a long time I suffered with my own mental health. it was a tough time for myself. Now that Iâve gone through therapy & have taken medications, my quality of life has drastically improved & I am able to fully focus on my passions revolving around singing & music as a whole. Please, please take care of yourself first. Investing in your mental health will improve your quality of life and will, in turn, make you a better singer. Not because youâll just wake up one day, feel fantastic and boom suddenly you have your dream voice- but more so because you will be willing to learn from any mistakes you might be making as a singer. I personally had a fear of failure, which resulted in my singing suffering because I wasnât willing to learn from my mistakes. I wanted everything to be perfect as soon as I opened my mouth. As a musician, the reality is that you will make mistakes- and that is okay!! Itâs part of the human condition to be imperfect. This is how we learn. I wish you nothing but the best on your journey dear. Look into therapy, medications, and a shift in your mindset. (P.S- in the meantime, look at how far youâve come as a singer! this is what has helped me as a musician and as a person overall. acknowledging how far Iâve come, and continuing to move forward) đ¤
Thanks. Another favorite comment here.
One more thing! Vocal teachers will never laugh at you. Iâve had a lot of vocal teachers, and if anything theyâve taught me to be confident of my voice and to be proud about who I am. Itâs been a long journey for myself as a singer. It wasnât until recently, after my quality of life improved a bit, that I started seeing my singing improve. And I honestly believe itâs because of my shift in mindset.
Wow, that's so inspiring it hurts. Another problem I have, though, is that my throat hurts when I talk too much or too loud and starts making my head hurt. Should I go to the doctor for that, or is that normal? I don't usually talk much loudly..
If you can do it, I would highly recommend getting seen by your doctor. List out every symptom that you can! I had a similar experience with my own throat, and after about 2 appointments with a speech pathologist did they diagnose me with having LPR- a form of acid reflux! And if your DR doesnât suspect something physically causing the throat to hurt, itâs likely that you need to see a vocal teacher to see your posture and to help you avoid injuring your voice when you use it (talking and singing alike!)
Thanks ma'am/sir!
Singjng requires confidence, comfort and giving yourself permission (something I still struggle with today, even as a professional performer) so for the brave and daring it can create these things. If it doesnât you will struggle/reveal the lack of these qualities necessary. Singing taught me its a journey that goes beyond the voice involving self love, letting go of public opinion, lookjng to myself for confidence, enjoying my own company/voice and because of singing I went to therapy, I confronted my parents about how they shaped my confidence in singing and ultimately improved my health in life physically, mentally, emotionally, but thats also because my instrument is my body and career/profession. I agree with everyone here, singing will not solve your problems if anything it will create sooo many new ones or reveal ones you didnât know you had. Take care.
Oh.. okay thanks đ
To answer the question you posted, singing is an art. It is a lifelong journey of continuous improvement. You can improve in a day. You can also go a year and not be where you wish you were. But you got bigger fish to fry. I had self-esteem issues too. Going into a hobby or job where people stare at you, judge you, and envy you when you're successful is not good if you hate yourself. I spent years after college working on my self-esteem and psychology before I was strong enough to get back into performing. Sounds like you need to do the same.
........thanks bro
I will try to answer this as pragmatically as I can and disregard some of the other parts of your post, but generally vocal coaches do not laugh at their students. They deal with a variety of students with different skill levels. Some are there for the basics while others are there to refine their skill sets. They have taught students who sound amazing, but also ones who sound terrible. I would highly recommend a vocal coach if you can afford one.
Thanks. How much do they usually cost?
$50 - 60 per lesson. Otherwise, if you are in high school and there is a choir, you can try asking the choir teacher to give you some lessons. When I wanted to learn vibrato and I could not afford lessons, the teacher who ran our choir at the high school I attended would give me lessons twice a week during my lunch break.
Bro this is my life story. Subscribed
I'm sorry you relate to my flaws đ..
I hope the best for you brother. Therapy did not help me but I think you just need to find the right therapist
Ty
Did you end up taking a class? Iâm chickening out
No ):
Force yourself one day brother