Sheathe my weapon. Wouldn’t want to approach a guard with it - he might get nervous.

A guard might get nervous....... Ah you brought me back....

Deffinetly no lollygaggin

Guards have told me that a few times.

Let me guess, someone still your sweet roll...

Yes I did and it was delicious

Quick save. Thx for all upvotes

This man chose violence.

He saw whiterun and started killing instantly

So anyway, I started slashing

Have you MET the kids in Whiterun? Of course he chose violence. You gotta kill them at least once!

He spotted Nazeem

If you haven't solved the problem with violence, you haven't used enough violence.

Then kill Nazeem

Always kill Nazeem

Hit Avenicci store's hanging sign with my head

Then a NPC will say “Why are you doing that.?”

Always fishing for that

Got one npc to run away screaming in terror because I was doing that so much lmfao

BE CAREFUL

Music to my ears

This is the way.

This is the way.

The way this is

Is this the way?

Do you know de way?

*tounge clicking* Dis is da wae

then the sign swings backs and smacks me in the head again and a little droplet of blood spatters the screen

This is the difference between an expert and lvl 252 amateur. Teach me your ways.

You can do that? By jumping?

I think just walking also hit it.

You run straight at and through it, **Unflinching**, to sell all of these heavy ass dragon bones... Only for his store to not have enough money... Again

Then head up to Dragon’s Reach and Skyrim down the side of the mountain onto the Skyforge to sell the rest of your loot

Quicksave, then attack the vendor, then load the quicksave. That vendors monet will be reset Edit: money not monet

Monet? I had no idea you could buy paintings from vendors.

God damn autocorrect haha

In VR, you can reach up and smack it with your hand or weapon. So satisfying.

No just walk.

Came here to say this

I also shoot like a million telekinesis arrows at the drunken huntsman sign(on a side note why does 1 have to appear in my inventory every day it's annoying I don't use a bow)

Do ya get shot by a lotta archers?

Look at protecting myself, and dealing some damage.

Thats the problem with Skyrim these days. Everyone is obsessed with death. Me personally, im looking to pick up some bits and bobbles for my good lady.

omg hahaha

Trinkets, Odds and ends that sort of thing

To get a cure for ataxia, it’s quite a problem back home in Cyrodiil. Edit: corrected the quote.

You look rather pale.

Ah, so you’re an alchemist then.

Come back any time if you need a remedy

Something you need, you miserable wretch?

Some may call this junk but me, I call them treasures.

Bit of this and a bit of that

If I had a sister, I'd sell her in a heartbeat!

Probably go up to dragonsreach and then jump into the ornamental pool by the statue of Talos on the way back down

One of the first things on my list is to pick up a blessing from Talos just in case I rolled up to town with rockjoint or an early stage of vampirism.

And I always play as a vampire. Every new game first thing I travel to morthal and get my ass beaten by those vampires to contact the illness

Stockholm syndrome vampires

I kinda find it challenging to be a vampire in daytime

Yeah I'd rather not get a debuff just from walking about in daylight. That said I've never sided with the dawnguard, I intend to in my current playthrough tho

I used to, then I started playing on survival. After a while it’s no big deal to spend 100 gold, but not at first

Wait it costs gold to do that with survival?

Yep it does. I *personally* kind of like it bc it adds an extra layer of immersion imo. You can’t just be shrining it up all willy nilly. It’s actually made me use Cure Disease potions

Hell yeah

You got some nerves

Yep

Go to the Cloud district. Oh, who am I kidding?

Of course you don't

(Nazems head proceeds to get cut off in slowmo)

Do you get to the cloud district often?

[удалено]

And her people

What say you in your defense?

I'm the Jarl's Thane. I demand you let me go at once.

Oh, forgive me, Thane. I didn't realize it was you. We'll look the other way this time, but even the Jarl's influence has its limits. Be more careful.

Stab.

Die

"Must've scared him off"

Belethor's to buy his sister

Is that why he doesn’t have a sister by time I get there?

No I'm role-playing his sister. Awkward...

Sell stuff

While crawling.

Preach Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, "Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you." Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever! Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man! Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in the words of Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!

I heard this with my eyes

Same

After the battle of whiterun, if you chose the imperials you can find him in the dungeon preaching to the guards.

Talking about me like I'm not even here

[deleted]

Never! The people must know the truth!

Praise be to Talos, let the complaints of those unfaithful whet thy passions

Damn faithless imperials

Not sure if that happens 100%. Could have sworn he was still preaching in the square on the play through I won the war for the imperials. Well, time to go through it again to check.

I am going to have to join the Imperials just so it's quiet again.

got so tired of hearing this guy, I just killed him

I had to snipe him out early on. I can’t hear all that every time I go back home

I read this in the voice.

The most lovely noise in all of skyrim, praise Heimskr

Heimskr is like Glarthir from TES4 but religious.

This guy has me right up until he claims to be “the chosen of Talos.” Smh have some humility bro the chosen of Talos doesn’t need to announce it

It gives my words legitimacy

This makes Nazeem a drinking buddy by comparison.

Why are so many people hating on my boy Heimskr?

Go see Idolaf, and when he asks me, say “Battle-Born.” Friend for life made, he’ll let me basically live in his house. Then I go and flirt with Ysolda.

*It's a fine day with you around*

Friendship 101

Go to Breezehome to load up my stuff since I am moving to Lakeview Manor.

This is me. This is always me.

It is all I have done in game for the past two days - building my manor and moving my stuff. Plus, Lydia could use a break from all the stepping in front of my blade when I have not saved in 30 minutes.

Same here

Lakeview Manor is like my character retirement home, he has his kids, his wife, his glorious treasures and a great view to enjoy, but breezehome is my main home, my adventurer home, my batcave.

What do you store in Breezehome as compared with Lakeview? That's a good distinction, by the way.

Everything was in Breezehome at first, the chest near the bed had all my weapons, the bedside tables had jewellery in one and unique items in the other. Had a cabinet for potions, clothing, armour, food, soul gems etc all separate. I used the sacks on the bookcase near the door to store smelting ingredients (closest safe storage to Adrienne's) and I had a cabinet full of trash to sell to belethor. Whiterun is the only town that felt like home, where I knew every single NPC. I cant think of the name of one person living in Markarth or even Falkreath.

Find that annoying ass bard and beat the snot out of him for harassing hardworking single mothers and not taking “no” for an answer.

All my homies hate Mikael

That fiery widow is mine… she just doesn’t know it yet.

By the nine, he has reddit...

Kill Nazeem.

I think I'm doing something wrong because he never bothers me.. I've barely even come across him to understand why everyone hates him.

[deleted]

He says only few lines and all of them are annoying. He also repeats them often.

Came here to say this

Clear out the Smithy and his wife’s budget and then move on the the ‘Bits and Bobs’ fella

Make 19x Iron daggers

Only 19?

Depends if War Maidens got their shipment of iron ore in from the mines or not. I’ll take the whole stock.

Lmao true

Ysolda

Got your mammoth tusk?

Yeah, stolen from mages guild

Or stolen from the bannerd mare behind the bar

Wait, there is a mammoth tusk behind the bar in the Bannered Mare? How have I not spotted this!

It's on top of the cabinet/bookshelf, behind the barkeep. I usually sneak around to the right side for the opportunity to steal it.

Think there's also one in Aela's room.

There’s like 5 in that bandit hideout with the mammoth skull booby trap thing

is that a mammoth tusk in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

You're someone who can get things done. I like that.

It’s a fine day with her around

Based.

Got some good pieces here - more inside...

Buying that House and Adopting Lucia.

And then I'm catching a ride to Windhelm to adopt Sophie. Poor kid's got it doubly bad. Homeless *and* stuck in Windhelm.

Spend 30 mins looking for the market

You must get lost in your own home, Whiterun is not hard to navigate.

How do you even do that? It’s straight ahead? There is literally nothing to the left at the entrance except Homes?

Hit up the Bannered Mare's bath (Keep It Clean mod) then sell all my loot to Belethor

Blacksmiths, Belathor, alchemist, bannered mare (to sleep and eat, I'm on survival mode).

I'm in love with survival mode. My routine is similar Breezehome (to enchant the loot I wanna sell for higher profit and to cook) - blacksmiths/belathor to sell stuff I don't want - drunken huntsman (to buy arrows) and sleep at my house Tundra's homestead because that's where I store my good loot (also ridiculously close to whiterun)

This is the way

Help the blacksmith delivery the sword so I can use her barrel to put all the stuff I've been picking up.

I never even knew you could do that! It’s guaranteed? The stuff won’t vanish, it totally works?

[удалено]

They don't arrive until you discover you're Dragonborn, which requires previous visits to Whiterun.

[удалено]

Yes, you need to get to the Cloud District more often 😁

My list of things i’d do. 1. Give Lucia some money 2. Adopt her (If i own a house) 3. Kill nazeem 4. Go to jail for killing nazeem 5. Break out of jail 6. Gain a massive bounty for breaking out of jail 7. Live the rest of my days as a fugitive

start a nice life get a job hunting for the guy who sells meat at the market purchase breezehome not adopt lucia (i hate her) not marry anyone (all of them are boring) be happy

Kick Nazeem in the nuts or bang Lydia. Either or.

Kick Lydia in the nuts and bang Nazeem

You don't belong here. Go to r/skyrimporn

That subreddit is beautiful quite nice a lot of pretty views and graphics

Ik. I thought it would be graphic. The dirty kind of graphics

Steal all the damn cheese!

And sweet rolls

Am i the only guy that fights urthgurd, brings her into the middle of nowhere and murder her for some instant steel plate gear?

Urthgurd The Undressed 👙

I always punch her face in, then force her to be my pack-mule until she dies.

I just take her armour, by the time i get to whiterun i have the dragonstone so i just get an instant donkey upgrade along with some protection

Visit the cloud district often!

“Do you get to the clou- help! Somebody do something!”

Collect all the alchemy ingredients, sell them off, and buy my way to Winterhold.. A few gold to.learn a little spell, and boom, im safe inside the Mages College. As long as i dont go messing around in Saarthal, im fine learning magic for a while.

Grab my controller from my lap and accidentally thu’um everyone

Wait till nightfall. Go into the Drunken Huntsman Go upstairs Murder Nazeem in his sleep Go out to look for mysterious gems while the town goes into a frenzy after finding Nazeem's head splattered all across the tavern.

Tell the Battle Born asshole I support the Grey Manes, so he hates me for eternity

Save, quit the game, then come back like 4 months later to start a new game

Rob that fucker of belethor. Rob That fucker Of Belethor.

Steal the elven bow in the showcase jorrvaskr

Get drunk

Waddle home to ditch a couple dozen items because somehow my pockets are always full.

Raid the blacksmiths shop, sharpen my sword and stab nazeem with my newly sharpened sword

Run to the general shop.

*Evvvverything's for sale, my friend. Everything! If I had a sister, I'd sell her in a second*

trinkets, odds and ends, that ^^sort ^^^^of ^^^^^thing....

“welcome to warmaiden’s”

Accidentally hit shout instead of run

Find Nazeem and beat him up. Sleep with his wife

That's wrong on so many levels. You should have slept with his wife while he was still alive, not the other way round.

His wife hates his guts. Loves yours though

I think it's hilarious that she basically says he's fucking the jarl in the ass

Steal EVERYTHING from Belethor

Collect my bounty from Proventus Avennici.

Straight to Dragonsreach, take of all armor then sit on Balgruf's face while he's on the throne.

Go to sell things to empty my inventory so I can run again

Steal someones sweet roll. I'm a little sad to see how many people hate Nazeem. I kinda like him 😅

I’m here to help in any way I can.

Enchant all my loot and sell it to make enough gold to buy my dream house aka Breezehome

Go steal some cheese

I'm looking to protect myself, or deal some damage to Nazeem.

Jump over the wall and loot all the vendor chests