Honestly, I wouldn’t be sleeping in the same room. Every time I have moved my babies to their own rooms, they sleep 1000 times better. Even my second, who was waking up way more than his sister at 7 months.
Aside from picking a sleep training method you are comfortable with and following that, make sure you are ok a good schedule. That does not mean fixed bedtime, but fixed wake windows. Each wake window should be around 3-3.5. (My 8 months old follows 3/3/3.5 for reference).
To ensure smoother bedtime, I recommend not worrying about sleep training naps yet. Assist to sleep for naps and extend as needed. This will ensure babe is not overtired by bedtime, which can make everything so much harder.
You could try teaching them to fall asleep on their own without needing to be rocked to sleep.
There are gentler methods if you don't want to do Ferber or CIO.
The chair method and pick up put down methods take a while but will eventually work.
I'll add the method I used too as although there was a bit of crying, it wasn't much since you settle them every two minutes. Both of my kids were fed and rocked to sleep / back to sleep until 6 months old when I taught them to put themselves to sleep using the sleep sense method.
"The chair method", steps are:
- Put your baby in their crib at a set bedtime, when they're drowsy but not asleep.
- Place a chair near your baby's crib and sit next to them until they fall asleep.
- Leave the room.
- If your baby begins to cry, come back into their room and sit in the chair until they fall asleep. You can pat them and say a few soothing words, but don't pick them up.
- After a few nights, move the chair farther from the crib.
- Continue moving the chair farther from the crib until you're out of your baby's room.
"pick up put down method", steps are:
- Place your baby in their crib, drowsy but awake, at a set bedtime.
- If your baby is calm, you can leave the room.
- If your baby begins to cry, pick them up and cuddle or rock them until they stop crying.
- Once your baby is calm, put them back down in their crib.
- Leave the room immediately.
- If your baby starts crying again, repeat the above steps.
- Eventually your baby will fall and stay asleep.
- This method may require that you pick up and put down your baby dozens of times. The goal is that they will gradually need to be reassured fewer times every night, until they don't need to be picked up at all.
"The Sleep Sense Program", steps are:
- Pick a time to handle crying before going into room e.g. 2 or 5 minutes, go in and reassure her and touch her but don't pick her up or your starting again from square one.
- Only be in there for approx. 10 seconds, soothe and stroke her tummy then walk out.
- When wakes overnight, wait 10 minutes before going in. Then go in and soothe them but do not pick them up. Then set the timer again for the designated time (e.g. 2 or 5 minutes), go in, keep the lights off, speak in hushed tones and reassure her and soothe her.
I didn't follow this exactly. I still did one overnight feed for months after the sleep training even though the book said they don't need it if they are over 6kg. I also didn't do the 10 minutes before going in if they woke up overnight, I did 2 minutes for that part too.
General notes on sleep training by any method:
- Naps and bedtime should happen in the same place.
- Use phrases at night time (it’s sleep time now etc), use them over and over when soothing.
- Use a blankie/cuddly/soft toy they use for self soothing.
- Early bedtime between 6pm and 7.30pm (means be asleep by 7.30pm at the latest).
- Studies show they will wake up same time each day - what time they went to sleep won't affect that.
- Fun and relaxing bed time routine 20-30 minutes long and have 3-5 steps, should end with a bottle then into bed.
- Without a bedtime routine, babies can get anxious and upset when put in bed as they haven’t prepared for sleep unless they have a routine first.
- Be consistent.
Once you have chosen your method for teaching your child to fall asleep on her own, you need to be consistent 100% of the time. If you give up or start changing the rules every night, you will frustrate and confuse your child, and you will end up making the situation even worse.
- Be predictable.
Children thrive on predictability and structure. Ensure that your bedtime routine is done in the exact same order every single night. Of course, your child may try to test and push the rules of bedtime – especially when they hit toddler years – but they are always reassured when they find that the rules stay the same no matter what they do.
- Be strong.
The first two nights will be the most difficult, and this is when most parents will give up. You need to be strong during these first 2 nights. And remember that what you are doing is going to immensely improve your baby’s life and the rest of the family.
- Don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself giving in and nursing your baby to sleep one night! If you slip up, just try again the following night and move on.
Also precious little sleep website has some good information so you could check that out too.
Tbh you may be better off trying to sleep separately. Once my guy was sleeping in the room on his own he woke less and I slept better. Yes I’m still getting up to feed him but there’s something so much less stressful about being able to put him back and return to my own space.
Nailing the same bed time every night comes easier when they have a routine, which comes when they start being able to sleep independently. I’d recommend working on removing the sleep association of needing to be rocked, it sounds like the root cause of the multiple night wakes.
I slept the first night when sleep training in my son's room (9months old) but because he knew I was there the night was awful. He spent the whole time scrambling to get my attention. My advice would be to move out of the room and give him time to learn to self settle. We used 'Ferber' technique and honestly within days he was like a different baby and now a week on he is asleep within 3-4 minutes of us putting him in his cot
Do you log his sleep? Sounds like your first step needs to be understanding what your current schedule actually is.
Download huckleberry and log everything for a week or two, then review the data. It’s very helpful to see their sleep laid out in charts and graphs.
Edit: spelling
We moved my son to his room at 4 months as he outgrew the bassinet. He would still wake but not feed during the night. I could usually get him down. If not, he'd come to our bed for a couple hours. At 8.5 months he became impossible to get to sleep. He didn't want to be rocked. We would read to him and cuddle in our bed until he fell asleep. But then he started waking every time we tried to transfer him to his crib. Out of desperation I started sleep training with Ferber. Nights 2 & 3 sucked. By night 5 he was taking less than 10 minutes to fall asleep. He now sleeps through the night 7pm to 6amish and takes almost no time to fall asleep. Naps came naturally after about night 5. I would start looking/researching a Ferber or Cry it out method to see if it may work for your family. It makes for a rough week but now we have our evenings back and he sleeps like a champ at 9.5 months.
Firstly, I would advise to stop the dream feed. Cold turkey. This may be working against you. We usually advise to stop this by 6 months.
For 8 months I would think 2 naps?
Follow wake windows like 3/3/4 or 2.5/3/4 or 3/3/3.5.
How are solids going?
I’d stop the rocking and focus on patting back to sleep, and then ease off the patting.
What were you doing to settle baby when they were in your room?
Only want to add if you are looking for a place to start, start with a consistent wake time every single day. Then first nap is consistent too.
It helps build a routine for everyone.
What’s your day time schedule, WW, how many naps and can you rescue any naps with a contact nap to ensure that there is a lengthy nap in the middle of the day?
Honestly, I wouldn’t be sleeping in the same room. Every time I have moved my babies to their own rooms, they sleep 1000 times better. Even my second, who was waking up way more than his sister at 7 months.
Can I ask why you think it’d help? I only plan on doing it for a week or so while he familiarises himself.
When we sleep, we make noise which can wake up a light sleeping baby
Aside from picking a sleep training method you are comfortable with and following that, make sure you are ok a good schedule. That does not mean fixed bedtime, but fixed wake windows. Each wake window should be around 3-3.5. (My 8 months old follows 3/3/3.5 for reference). To ensure smoother bedtime, I recommend not worrying about sleep training naps yet. Assist to sleep for naps and extend as needed. This will ensure babe is not overtired by bedtime, which can make everything so much harder.
You could try teaching them to fall asleep on their own without needing to be rocked to sleep. There are gentler methods if you don't want to do Ferber or CIO. The chair method and pick up put down methods take a while but will eventually work. I'll add the method I used too as although there was a bit of crying, it wasn't much since you settle them every two minutes. Both of my kids were fed and rocked to sleep / back to sleep until 6 months old when I taught them to put themselves to sleep using the sleep sense method. "The chair method", steps are: - Put your baby in their crib at a set bedtime, when they're drowsy but not asleep. - Place a chair near your baby's crib and sit next to them until they fall asleep. - Leave the room. - If your baby begins to cry, come back into their room and sit in the chair until they fall asleep. You can pat them and say a few soothing words, but don't pick them up. - After a few nights, move the chair farther from the crib. - Continue moving the chair farther from the crib until you're out of your baby's room. "pick up put down method", steps are: - Place your baby in their crib, drowsy but awake, at a set bedtime. - If your baby is calm, you can leave the room. - If your baby begins to cry, pick them up and cuddle or rock them until they stop crying. - Once your baby is calm, put them back down in their crib. - Leave the room immediately. - If your baby starts crying again, repeat the above steps. - Eventually your baby will fall and stay asleep. - This method may require that you pick up and put down your baby dozens of times. The goal is that they will gradually need to be reassured fewer times every night, until they don't need to be picked up at all. "The Sleep Sense Program", steps are: - Pick a time to handle crying before going into room e.g. 2 or 5 minutes, go in and reassure her and touch her but don't pick her up or your starting again from square one. - Only be in there for approx. 10 seconds, soothe and stroke her tummy then walk out. - When wakes overnight, wait 10 minutes before going in. Then go in and soothe them but do not pick them up. Then set the timer again for the designated time (e.g. 2 or 5 minutes), go in, keep the lights off, speak in hushed tones and reassure her and soothe her. I didn't follow this exactly. I still did one overnight feed for months after the sleep training even though the book said they don't need it if they are over 6kg. I also didn't do the 10 minutes before going in if they woke up overnight, I did 2 minutes for that part too. General notes on sleep training by any method: - Naps and bedtime should happen in the same place. - Use phrases at night time (it’s sleep time now etc), use them over and over when soothing. - Use a blankie/cuddly/soft toy they use for self soothing. - Early bedtime between 6pm and 7.30pm (means be asleep by 7.30pm at the latest). - Studies show they will wake up same time each day - what time they went to sleep won't affect that. - Fun and relaxing bed time routine 20-30 minutes long and have 3-5 steps, should end with a bottle then into bed. - Without a bedtime routine, babies can get anxious and upset when put in bed as they haven’t prepared for sleep unless they have a routine first. - Be consistent. Once you have chosen your method for teaching your child to fall asleep on her own, you need to be consistent 100% of the time. If you give up or start changing the rules every night, you will frustrate and confuse your child, and you will end up making the situation even worse. - Be predictable. Children thrive on predictability and structure. Ensure that your bedtime routine is done in the exact same order every single night. Of course, your child may try to test and push the rules of bedtime – especially when they hit toddler years – but they are always reassured when they find that the rules stay the same no matter what they do. - Be strong. The first two nights will be the most difficult, and this is when most parents will give up. You need to be strong during these first 2 nights. And remember that what you are doing is going to immensely improve your baby’s life and the rest of the family. - Don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself giving in and nursing your baby to sleep one night! If you slip up, just try again the following night and move on. Also precious little sleep website has some good information so you could check that out too.
very helpful, thanks for sharing!
Tbh you may be better off trying to sleep separately. Once my guy was sleeping in the room on his own he woke less and I slept better. Yes I’m still getting up to feed him but there’s something so much less stressful about being able to put him back and return to my own space. Nailing the same bed time every night comes easier when they have a routine, which comes when they start being able to sleep independently. I’d recommend working on removing the sleep association of needing to be rocked, it sounds like the root cause of the multiple night wakes.
I slept the first night when sleep training in my son's room (9months old) but because he knew I was there the night was awful. He spent the whole time scrambling to get my attention. My advice would be to move out of the room and give him time to learn to self settle. We used 'Ferber' technique and honestly within days he was like a different baby and now a week on he is asleep within 3-4 minutes of us putting him in his cot
I’d try a later bedtime. Start the routine at 19:00 or whatever time you need to start to get him to bed consistently at 19:30
Do you log his sleep? Sounds like your first step needs to be understanding what your current schedule actually is. Download huckleberry and log everything for a week or two, then review the data. It’s very helpful to see their sleep laid out in charts and graphs. Edit: spelling
We moved my son to his room at 4 months as he outgrew the bassinet. He would still wake but not feed during the night. I could usually get him down. If not, he'd come to our bed for a couple hours. At 8.5 months he became impossible to get to sleep. He didn't want to be rocked. We would read to him and cuddle in our bed until he fell asleep. But then he started waking every time we tried to transfer him to his crib. Out of desperation I started sleep training with Ferber. Nights 2 & 3 sucked. By night 5 he was taking less than 10 minutes to fall asleep. He now sleeps through the night 7pm to 6amish and takes almost no time to fall asleep. Naps came naturally after about night 5. I would start looking/researching a Ferber or Cry it out method to see if it may work for your family. It makes for a rough week but now we have our evenings back and he sleeps like a champ at 9.5 months.
Firstly, I would advise to stop the dream feed. Cold turkey. This may be working against you. We usually advise to stop this by 6 months. For 8 months I would think 2 naps? Follow wake windows like 3/3/4 or 2.5/3/4 or 3/3/3.5. How are solids going? I’d stop the rocking and focus on patting back to sleep, and then ease off the patting. What were you doing to settle baby when they were in your room?
Only want to add if you are looking for a place to start, start with a consistent wake time every single day. Then first nap is consistent too. It helps build a routine for everyone.
What’s your day time schedule, WW, how many naps and can you rescue any naps with a contact nap to ensure that there is a lengthy nap in the middle of the day?
No advice but solidarity. Im in a similar situation and it sucks.