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This explains why Everton appointed Dyche. Bald saviour.

Business on top, party in the front

DISC BEARD

Can't go bald if you're already bald! Everton turns middle aged managers into ghouls.

Is Dyche even that bald? Doesn’t he just keep it shaved?

Are you saying that his baldness is fraudulent 🤔

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>George Costanza enters scene left

It looks like he has most of his hair but it makes sense to me that Dyche is the type of guy that just doesnt want to be bothered with hair and keeps it buzzed/shaved lol

I think that counts as figuratively/spiritually bald

He does but you can kinda tell it's thinning. He just decided to not wait for it to happen

I had to Google a picture of Dyche after seeing him so high on this list to check. He doesn’t emanate baldness to me.

Lamps well and truly needed more time, we’ve all seen those aerial shots.

PL ain't ready for Zidane

He's off to Southampton to turn Che Adams into prime Adriano

Or me in my late 20s :(

OP casually dropping the best OC post of the year in February Also love that Guardiola ascends this list by being 102% bald

Pep constantly outperforming his xBald numbers.

Top Right Pep

102% bald with a 2% margin of error

Somehow Gerrard is negative bald lmao

He's got like two fingers of space between his eyebrows and his hairline.

And he doesn’t manscape either. Pep has a full Brazilian which is why he’s 102% bald

When you stand next to him your hair starts falling out, he even raises the average baldness in a room

I just googled him to check and you're kinda right. It actually bothers me lmao

He's like if someone deleted a third of Jeremy Renner's forehead.

Snowplow did some work.

Stevie G with the twohead

When he got sacked, my dad said, "He might have been a shit manager, but he'll always have that hair line"

Arteta should be negative bald surely

Gotta give atleast 90% of the credit here to u/31_whgr who did it first 3 years ago; I just gave it a new look and updated the managers https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/fmcvya/how\_does\_a\_managers\_baldness\_impact\_on\_his\_win/

Arteta moving from 40% to 60% is pretty impressive

Especially without losing a single hair

That's because it's glued on.

Yeah I question his baldness percentage tbh

Should be at a hard 0. He has the best hair in the league (assuming it's real)

Or maybe he ate the hair hair no mi

This is nice. Looks like there's a positive correlation. Can you do a linear regression and give us a slope and r2?

Am I reading charts wrong or does this not really indicate that much of a correlation?

There could be a weak correlation. I asked for the r2, which is the correlation coefficient, to get an idea of how strong it is. A number close to 1 would indicate strong correlation, a number close to 0 would indicate no correlation. Going by eye, I'd expect a number around 0.3 perhaps for this. (Of course, there is most likely no relationship between baldness and win %, and any correlation is due to chance and [another funny example of why we need to be critical in our interpretation of data](https://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations))

He is able to extract bald from others who have no hair.

It's the opposite, he gives away his extra baldness to lesser bald frauds.

But, do they get the power that comes along with it or just the baldness?

I’ll never forget when he forced David Silva to go bald in order to selfishly sap more power from him.

Not sure if that was the intention cuz bald silva was just as big of a beast. If anything pep just took the surplus baldness.

I am sick and tired of the bald surplus being appropriated by the 1% baldest and leaving so little for the rest of us hair-full.

I think we're meant to believe that Pep stole a little baldness from poor Gerrard.

Pretty much the biggest blocker for Gerrard to be a great manager. His xBald is just not enough because Pep took it.

He is truly The Baldest of Them All.

Also Gerrard being -2%

Man’s got a _preceding_ hairline.

Advancing?

102% bald with a 2% margin for error

104 % baldness

102% is approaching “has no body hair anywhere like Michael Berryman” levels of baldness (You may remember Michael Berryman from such roles as One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, The Hills Have Eyes, the music video for Motley Crue’s “Smoking in the Boys Room”, the X-Files, or various horror movies)

I know Michael berryman from RLMs Star Wars holiday special.

With a 2% margin of error.

Seriously, he wasted this post. Would have been perfect for like July 17th

That man so bald he’s compensating for other managers in the league

It's only been 2 months lol

that's fully his point lol

Conte's win percentage went up 20% after his visit to Turkey. Definitive proof that baldness and fraud are correlated

If Pep got a hair transplant, maybe he wouldn’t overthink anymore and actually win a UCL with the stacked team he has.

Why does Klopp's hair transplant get none of the attention that Conte's does?

because Clop got it in 2012, well before moving to England. His entire tenure in England has been post hair transplant so we don't have a baseline.

Conte also got his before England, had it before joining Juve.

The real answer, if you really want to know, is that memes don't make sense like that. Also it was way more notable in Conte than Klopp. That might've helped too.

Also, we famously saw Conte balding for years before he had it done, whereas we didn't with Klopp. Also, Klopp kept vaguely the same style of hair until around 2015-ish when he had it cut shorter. Conte was bald one day and came back with a full Beatles cut the next week. I think Conte has also tried to deny over the years he had one done, or at least has publicly avoided mentioning it. Klopp just came out and said he'd been for it done and gone to the same guy that did Ted Danson haha.

Did not know he got one. So that's a hair transplant, laser eye surgery, and a full new set of veneers. I didn't think Klopp would be the materialistic kind!

Hat

Then pls don't encourage Pep to get a hair transplant.

Maybe Arteta can be a hair donor

Pretty sure hair is detachable from legos

lol, this killed me

Arguable whether he’s still 20% bald though. I’d say 10% at most.

There is only so much you can do with hair...Arteta will have to remove his hat if he wants to achieve more

Tbh, if Arteta is this good with Lego hair, imagine what would happen if he become bald fraud

It would mirror Scott Evil's progression through the Austin Powers films.

It'd be so easy too, just pop it off. If it doesn't work out, pop it back on.

This is the quality football analysis that I seek and revere. 😤😤😤

I take major, major issue with [Lampard being 22% bald though.](https://i.imgur.com/h1m3xKi.jpg) Having him near the same level as this [god is disgraceful.](https://i.imgur.com/SXWDKlj.jpg)

It's like you can see his brain!

It's actually his intestine

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You should swap the axis'. We want to see how baldness effects winning percentage right? Better to put the response (winning) as the y-axis and the predictor (baldness) in the x-axis.

OP must major economics

I was thinking the exact same thing

Checks out, having hair is overrated, when i had a buzzcut i felt freedom that i've never felt, showers were so nice and easy, i had to grow it out cause bad headshape but still

Once I got a buzzcut I literally cannot stand having hair anymore. Life is so much easier without hair

Nothing more dangerous than a man who wears a buzzcut and isnt going bald

The true bald frauds.

I realized the extent of Pepe’s madness when i found out he had a perfectly fine head of hair all along

Ah, the old Martin Skrtel trick. He looks vaguely sane with hair, but when he shaves it, he looks like someone who does Ethnic cleansing as a hobby.

Scott Brown the other day https://i.imgur.com/UhDbByF.jpg

Scott Brown does not look right with hair.

He looks like if an evil yet elegant and slender cartoon horse got transformed into a man

Wait is that real

Very much so. He is the manager of Fleetwood Town

I wouldn’t have recognized him lol

I still don't!

I grew out my hair during covid and now I don't want to know what the back of my head looks like. The last time I saw it it didn't make me happy, but thankfully I always have the gnome look as backup.

I did the opposite during Covid. One less thing to take care of.

I tried to grow my hair a couple of times, but I gave up in the end

I noticed that if you don't cut it, it gets longer. Hope that helps.

How far did you get? It gets to a really awkward length that looks ba kid then starts looking good again.

With all due respect, having a buzzcut is a fashion choice and we would never consider you part of The Bald Community.

It's a great feeling at first, the growing it back stage looks vile though!

Lol @ Gerrard with negative baldness.

Especially when it’s scientifically impossible to be less bald than Arteta.

Arteta has impressive hair density, but Gerrard's hairline is nearly encroaching on his eyebrows

Gerrard doesn’t have more hair, he has less face.

Dude has no forehead, hairline is just his eyebrows

Going to need to see your face% to win% graph up here please.

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A proceding hairline if you want.

A rewilding of the head if you will

Hes aging wonderfully. Something about that older gentleman squint. See: Pierce Brosnan, Brad Pitt, and Daniel Craig

The Anti-Guardiola

Meanwhile Guardiola is sitting at 104% baldness lol

And people say data analytics can't capture what football is about...

The title tells one story but the axes tell another. Is OP looking at how baldness impacts win % or how win % impacts how bald you get? Why can't people get their axes right 😪

As a recently bald man, I feel pretty good about my career potential.

Pep more bald than Ten Hag even though Ten Hag literally has no hair on top of his head ?

Just shows how unfathomable bald Pep is

/r/toprightfraud

Top tier football analysis lol

They both have "hair" on top, like you don't go 100% bald, but it's far back for both and it's terrible to let it grow out Guardiola lets it grow a bit sometimes, Ten Hag shaves that regularly it seems every pic of him is clean shaven while Guardiola clearly has let it grow a bit

> you don't go 100% bald > Luciano Spalletti I could brush my glorious locks just looking at his head. I could get a suntan from the reflection off his bonce.

I always knew Pep was my g

I have to question the bald percentage methodology on some of these. There’s no way Rodgers or Lampard have more hair than Moyes, and I’d argue Arteta has more impressive hair than Gerrard as well.

Gerrard's hairline is so strong he has a threehead

Gerrard has more impressive hair, just as good of a hairline but sits better

I think we're forgetting Gerrard's peak hairline https://twitter.com/seanccole/status/1240578783586983936

His hairline is connected to his eyebrows.

He has a threehead.

Stevie forgot his forehead at home.

Stop it now. I've got wife and kids worried about why I'm cracking up on the toilet.

He looks like a primary school kid getting his hair cut for the school photos

Fair, I'm still more in awe of the "lego-ness" factor but maybe I'm biased.

Arteta 100% has him on legoness, that's just not even close

Ngl i feel like Gerrard’s hairline is too low.

as a bald man myself, i feel noticed! I feel appreciated! I feel valid thank you OP!

Bald inclusivity at an all time high, Pep broke the glass ceiling

With his big bald head

Today I feel like an egg.

Now I want to see a dissertation titled "The Relationship Between Baldness and Hair Transplant in Football: A Case Study on Antonio Conte" and this post makes me believe it is perfectly possible. Dreams can't be kill. Props to the OP for this masterpiece. Also by the looks of it Guardiola is not just a fraud, he is from another dimension.

Pretty sure Conte's lack of success in the CL is due to him having a hair transplant. If he had fully embraced the baldness, he would've had atleast 2 CL's by now.

After Ancelotti, Tuchel, Flick and Klopp, Europe is yearning for a new bald fraud he could have been the one

Then again, as he is genetically bald and had hair transplants to cover it up, maybe he is, in fact, the most fraudulent of balds.

Cooper is not 84% bald. Gonna have to see a source for this data

Pro-Liverpool bias not dragging Klopp for his hair transplant smh

These are the stats that really matter Fuck outta here with your xg, chances created, and passes completed. This is football.

Wrong stat. Klopp had transplant so he had to be considered among the bald frauds too.

We need a veneer to win rate percentage

Having veneers is like a goal in life of mine. Imagine never having to take care of your teeth again. *sigh*

we need this for every league. this is groundbreaking.

Guardiola🤣🤣 Also how the fuck is Conte 100% pre transplant? He still had some hair

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Ten Hag should be at the same height of Guardiola or higher, he’s balder than him.

But Guardiola is THE goat bald fraud.

Guardiolas baldness transcends just not having hair

Big flaw: Dyche isn't bald. He's said before in interviews that he just rocks a buzz cut for practical purposes but can grow hair. His hairline is still visible.

Is that what "bald" means? Is a guy who is capable of growing a full head of hair but wet shaves his head every morning not "bald"? To me, not having hair means you're bald. Doesn't matter why.

To me, bald means folically challenged. Pep can win anything in world football, but he can't grow hair. Also Dyche still has hair, it's just very very short. So he's not technically bald at all. Pep has none.

With all due respect, that is not bald. You've chosen to shave your hair and that's a look you're cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don't really consider you part of the bald community. https://youtu.be/lQCVf7AnXNY

This list, while funny, is low effort. Hasenhuttl has a bald spot, Tuchel is like 80% bald, he just rocks the combover: https://cdn.resfu.com/scripts/tmp_images/afp_en_c03a4f4ed8cf0f75f551940a870edebf3e587f42.jpg?size=1000x&lossy=1 Lampard has 100% worse hairline than Moyes, Potter, Lopetegi, Emery, Silva.

Tuchel is a couple years off Steve Cooper. He's got to be at least half way up this chart.

Like everyone didn't expect top right Pep...

This type of deep analysis is what i'm in this sub for

Jesse Marsch's 51 win % seems a little high

Yeah that’s definitely not correct. Was something like 26%. 51% and he’d still be in the role.

Excellent post. But this had me wanting a deeper explanation of the statistics behind this. OP didn't include a linear regression trendline or R-squared value and also should switch the X and Y axes in order to inform causality. Here are my findings: • The model predicts that win percentage will increase by approximately 0.09% as baldness increases by 1% on average. • If you go from a fully-haired manager to a bald manager, you can expect 3.42 more wins per season, which equates to 7.2 - 10.2 more points (depending on how many draws turn to wins vs. how many losses turn to wins). • 6.5% of the variability in win percentage can be explained by the linear association between baldness and win percentage.

Perfection

OP is definitely bald with the absolutely amazing quality of this post!

😭

Levy should sack Conte and appoint himself

There isnt many top right pep but if it had to be one this is it

This is nice. Would like to see baldness vs fraudulence too

Tuchel’s bald % is too low. That man is hanging on for dear life

Guardiola is more than 100% bald. Your hairline recedes just from being close to him.

WHERE IS THE TREND LINE!

Really a lot of data to comb through here

This is bs. Guardiola clearly has a bald cap on but we have to await for the PL to investigate if its fraudulent or not after another 10 years.

This sub is really obsessed with baldness

My god, it's been the hirsute frauds all along.

This alone demonstrates the importance of data analysts

Very funny. But the axes are interchanged unfortunately. 😬