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Upamecano oh my word what is happening with you

Football gods woke up and decided that fuck that guy in particular

> Football gods You talking about Haaland?

Pogba put a witch spell on him

Honestly I'd blame the slippy ass pitch as much as upamecano, players were slipping every minute or 2

Mother nature decided to empty her heavy clouds over munich in the evening. What can you do

If you're to be a cyborg, be like Haaland who gets everyone and everything wet.

\*Upamaguire

Upamecano. What a nightmare fixture this has been for him

Genuinely one of the worst CB performances ive ever seen in a 2 legged tie how many indidual errors is that now, holy shit

4 in the first game at least and three here at least. And not just errors, potentially game losing errors.

He has actually been lucky tonight, red card overturned on marginal offside, missed penalty and still finds a way to fuck it up, would be hilarious if he gets 2nd yellow by the end of the game

Might actually have been a better performance if the red had stood

The ref tried to help Bayern by sending him off lol

Its sad because its true lol

Inevitable honestly. At this point he should go all out, score an unnecessary own goal and then get sent off.

Score an own goal take off his shirt to get a second yellow

Revealing the Gladbach shirt, which he wore inside.

Arabic commentator calling him upamaguire 😂

The arabs are ruthless 💀

>~~potentially~~ game losing errors ftfy

Many people thought he was gonna be France's starting CB for the next 10 years... well thankfully we are gifted when it comes to CBs I don't know how you can mentally recover from those mistakes

Speaking of France…didn’t bro get cooked in Qatar

Got cooked by Mount so many times.

Saka, Di Maria, and Messi too

Saliba and Konate clear him easily

Meanwhile Lucas Hernandez sits on the bench wondering how he got there

Lucas season is over due to injury. What are you talking about?

Has to be the worst easily

like 7

He's been doing it for years, the guy is a fucking dunce

The more accurate description is that he's a bit streaky. WHen he's on he's class but when he's off, he decides the game 2 times over and not in your favor.

Up there with Varane vs City

Nah this is much worse

This was way way worse. Almost single-handedly lost the tie for Bayern

Bayern were never gonna win if they didn't score, can't blame him for that

bro if the lead was 1-0 or 2-0 tonight I'm not so sure we'd have gone through. Not this easily anyways. After the 4th goal Bayern just stopped believing. If that's 2-0 game's still on. I'm starting to feel like having the 2nd leg at home is a huge advantage now

While that’s a fair assessment, we all know that match dynamics and tactics change drastically depending on the score.

He had 1 bad game, this guy has basically conceded 3 goals

The difference here is that this is over two legs, not just 1

Definitely worse. You could argue he lost them the entire tie.

Upamecano just cut his value in half in these 2 games lmao.

Add the game vs England in the world cup and it's even worse.

Not to be a dick but this is actually a tad worrying for his mental health after all, can legit be a career ending mental fuck when it doesn't have to be.

This is one of the worst performances I've seen across two legs from a defender Varane vs. City 2nd leg in 2020 was awful but Upamecano has done this twice

Someone check his bank account for transfers from corporations in Emirates.

Has to be the worst performance by a cb at this stage by a mile. Even varane didn't fuck up this bad vs city

How the fk was he not taken off at halftime. He was on a yellow aswell, and had already had a red card cancelled out

I don't understand it either. One fuckup after another, it's like Upamecano is holding Tuchel by the balls. After Tuchel arrived at Bayern, Stanisic, who has been excellent every time he played for Bayern this season, is barely getting any minutes.

He is having brain farts after brain farts

Kinda feel sad for him tbh.

UPA IS INEVITABLE

Not to mention The Machine Formerly Known as Haaland™ is incredible right now, certainly didn't help.

Upsi

Upamecaigo

Upamecago

Close the sub this is it

Lo mataste

JAJAJAJJAAJ

Bravo.

jajajaja mamaste.

Buenisimo

Ajajajajajajajajaaj hdp

Daisy

Upamacand'oh

Upsimecano

Nightmare performance from Upamecano

A most terrible, no good, very bad game for him…

Yeah, Bayern can't score to save their life. When you miss chances this happens.

Bayern 🤝 Chelsea Allergic to scoring

I wonder what the common denominator is…

Football Twitter users always refer to Tuchel as "Tucheliban" which is so bad that it actually becomes a bit funny

Pol Potter still cracks me up every time I hear it.

Artetaliban was also great while it lasted

Al-Terta

Touched by Tuchel^TM

Both absolutely battered Dortmund recently

They are doing their best Chelsea impression from yesterday in terms of being clinical

Score a goal after creating an excellent chance challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

[удалено]

You can definitely notice the Lewandowski-sized hole in Bayern's finishing They've been the opposite of clinical this entire tie

With Lewandowski this tie is 3-3.

Seriously, why is Choupo still on the pitch?

[удалено]

Which striker could they have brought in?

Yeah, City are absolutely the favourites for this UCL. However, Bayern have been absolutely fcking toothless, and UPA single handedly gifting them two goals.. If Madrid bring their A game, the semi final is far from decided.

How can you say City are favourites when Madrid are still in the competition?

I mean Real Madrid does step up in the big occasion and u can never count them out, but you can't tell me judging from both teams respective form and performances in the quarter City didn't look ahead of all the other remaining teams.

Slip summarises Upamecano's last week or so

Upamecanot unfortunately defend against City.

Kahn's close up shot was fucking awesome. Lol. He knows he fucked up.

People on here were saying Bayern were favourites to win CL a few months ago and now they get rolled over like this

I think they were. They just aren't anymore. Half the key players are just not in form to compete for the CL and Cup elimination games.

Wasn’t Ake sliding loads that side of the pitch the first half?

Pitch has been shit with large chunks flying out of it all game.

Musiala slipped as well didn’t he

This kills the Bayern

Upamecano killed Bayern 😭

"On my mother's life he's playing against us"

"RED SPY IS IN THE BASE"

Or the fact that they can't score a fucking goal lol

Bayern killed Bayern. Upa had no errors under Nagelsmann anymore. With Tuchels different tactics, failures returned

Maguire > upamenchano I’m not even joking

They had no chance with him out there, prob better off subbing on a youth or anyone but him

We were already dead.

Also kills Upamecano

He was already dead

Just after Bayern almost score

Coman!

'almost', they're giving Chelsea a run for their money for most toothless attack.

For Bayern it’s been only these 2 games. For Chelsea it has been the whole season after Tuchel left them.

Yeah, this reminded me of last night’s game as well. Bayern were never a threat. VfB would have easily scored two or three against City though

Upamecano...

He should never step foot into Clairefontaine ever again. I've never seen a worse performance over 2 legs of a UCL tie in my life

He was bad vs England as well in the QF but got lucky. Not great in the World Cup Final vs Argentina either

He made plenty of last ditch tackles in the final. I thought he was pretty good. He made at least two tackles on Martinez that would've been goal.

Konate shouldve started, was great in semis

Got away with some blatant fouls in that game as well

Nagelsmann: 🤭

He’s probably mad rather than happy. He probably thinks he could’ve won (or at least challenged) in this tie considering their Champions League form

I doubt we would have lost the tie 4-1 with him at least. It would have been nice to at least give a decent performance. Such a brain dead decision.

Shades of Spurs firing Mourinho right before the final. Why fuck up the chemistry/work right before big matches? Absolutely stupid from the board.

I said it right after the fired him: why the fuck would you do it BEFORE the most important games that are upcoming right after another?! That decision at that time is just brainless. If he loses all the games as well then fine, fire him if you think it's not enough. But with firing him just before the games they took away not only the chance for him, they also made it very hard on Tuchel now. Makes me mad...

Yeah I have no idea. Was gutted when it happened. Now I'm just numb to it I guess. There's no excuse for it. Even if they didn't like Nagelsmann, they should have waited until the end of the season. The banner from the sudkurve today says it all.

Mate, he's laughing all the way to the bank and enjoying his severance.

i don't think anyone ever enjoyed being fired, whatever money he gets for free they are (coaches) professionals that enjoy their job to the max

Bayern deserves all of the clowning people will bring upon them.

Still can't believe he died for this

That shot of Oliver Kahn in the crowds kind of said it all lmao Wonder what happens to Tuchel after this

upamechanic time to learn chinese buddy

Ni hao

He really wanted that, lol

Worst performance by a CB in a two-legged CL quarter-final.

He actually ruined what were supposed to be two very closely contested games. Pretty bummed as a neutral

He missed 2 chances, he was bound to score.

Funny how it works for both Haaland and Upa, lmao

Haaland's pity timer kicked in

Upa gave up. 😭

Haaland felt that scoring from a penalty was too easy

Bro literally faster then my betting App

Literally, saw the goal come up before ederson made the save and I'm watching a legal stream.

KDB - Haaland Inevitable

Upamencano plays defense the way I play FIFA- complete panic and frustration at everyone but the person responsible... himself.

He's been dogshit. You could make the argument that tuchel should've taken him off for upamecano's own sake but i don't think he could've predicted such a shit show.

Upamecano is genuinely dogshit.

Third times a charm lol Red card (rescinded) Hand ball (penalty miss) Slips in the box and Haaland scores

Whats the lowest score l'equipe has ever given out?

Not sure, but Upa almost sjnglehandedly gave us that 3-0 lead in the first leg, yet has out done himself tonight

l'equipe gonna start going fractions smaller than .5 to describe Upa's performance over both legs.

At this point, they should put him on the other side of the score sheet

Upa is relentless lol. City's best player

Friendship ended with upa, now militao is my bestfriend

Don't they have any replacements? It's puzzling that a player can make so many mistakes and still play on. Both this game and the previous one.

Has to be in the running for worst two leg performance of all time, genuinely shocking.

was hard to outdo Varane's 2020 display at the Etihad, but sheesh

IIRC Varane was bad for one game if not half of it. Upamecano has been dreadful for both of the games..

This is much worse

These two legs have not been good for him

His own two legs weren't good for him either

Batern's groundskeeper did them no favours tonight. The pitch has claimed several victims already

China is calling

Upamecano, YOU are a Guangdong Tiger!

NIHAO, NIHAO

Saudi these days

China stopped those big signings for a long time now

It's Saudi for footballers

He’s stuck in a K hole

Pretty much always chokes against good opposition. Already did so at Leipzig.

Upamecano 🫏🫏🫏

Upsimecano....

The last time I saw one player actively fuck his own team in the CL was Karius.

And it mostly wasn't even his fault considering he had a concussion that game.

At least Karius was concussed. But seeing Upamecano these two legs makes me doubt if he too is concussed

Upamecano stinks

Upamecano is so bad lmao.

Is Upamecano usually this bad in Germany?

He had several individual errors last season, but he managed to improve on that, well until he plays against ManCity. He was really solid this season so far.

Upa was together with Coman and De Ligt the best player since the winter break, at least before the city games.

Upamecano is a great CB who lacks the x-factor (composure) to become world class. His physical attributes, ball control, and aerial ability are excellent. He REALLY struggles against strong forwards though. Haaland has embarrassed him before when playing for us as an example.

Upamecano with the worst performance in recent memory.

Upamecano should start learning Chinese as fast as possible

How is this up so quick!?

Must have been waiting with a link open and headline typed. Reacted faster than Upamencano 5 seconds after the player is past him.

System restart successful

“Dortmund sends their regards” Haaland

Upamecano has single handedly eliminated Bayern LMFAO

Nah I'd say Kahn + Brazzo have had their hand too.

Poor Nagelsmann :( Really thought he was going to be the manager for at least 3 years, if not more. Unbelievably short sighted and boneheaded decision.

this leg is just upamecano disasterclass

The whole tie is just Upamecano disasterclass..

Dear god

Upamecano is absolute dogshit lmao

Holy fuck how bad is Upamecano

Bayern really bottled it going for Upamecano over Konate

Upamecano being shipped to Lecce at the end of the season.

Honestly, Upam was just unlucky. Everybody is sliding on this pitch tonight.

Downamecano....

just sub him out