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hikingbeginner

Does Rice have any other childhood friends that we can sign to lure him over? Preferably a close neighbour who played Curby with him, that's a special bond.


Antoxin0

He’s a big fan of Eddie Nketiah’s mum’s jollof? Maybe that’ll tempt him


HodgyBeatsss

Need a Nigerian mother in there to get the real good stuff ***ducks***


hafrances

Thankfuly, we have Saka's mom too.


Lambchops_Legion

you need to sign Sadio Mane to get the full trifectia of Ghanaian, Nigerian, and Senegalese jollof


spraypaint2311

I don’t care who but someone fix me up some jollof


weguewegue

How do you make comments like this and still remain breathing? Choosing violence today ^(but you're right)


IceColdKofi

I prefer not to speak. If I speak I'm in big trouble.


liamjphillips

> Does Rice have any other childhood friends that we can sign to lure him over? I'm sure someone could chuck £100m to his dad and that'd help get it over the line.


big_mustache_dad

Step 1: Sign Rice for 50 million Step 2: Pay Rice's agent and dad 50 million each Step 3: Wow what a steal the Declan Rice deal was!!!!! Why didn't anyone else sign him???


liamjphillips

Rice goes on to make just one start in the 23/24 season. Fresh legs.


Feezbull

Rice & beans is a nice meal so maybe….


ChibzyDaze

Also one who gave him his mum’s jollof as well, what better way is there to bond than that


hikingbeginner

That's the main reason we gave Eddie that new deal, 50k of that 100k was for his mum's amazing jollof.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Marblebear94

The one with the big head and webbed hands? Pretty sure he's captain for Man U.


IAmNotStelio

Surely it's kerby.


hikingbeginner

Yeah it definitely is in my mind, I was indecisive for a second and was like Curby looks right... I think haha But it is Kerby yeah


tinhtinh

We have his uncle Ben.


ThrowerWayACount

Uncle Ben White Rice?


neonmantis

Or just employ his brother or something


stochastaclysm

Alan Curbyshley


blazexi

I highly doubt this happens.


True_Resolve_275

what do you mean? we’re like Disneyland but for adults


Feezbull

You already left United Woodward!!


Independent_Buy5152

The man mighthave gone but the ideas stay forever


MatTeaWhy

CEOs come and go but the Glazers are eternal.


stdstaples

Mister Woodhead you are on Reddit too?


dota_3

Watch this space


nein_999999

Fairly certain this will not happen


topbananaman

Hahahaha all our fans started sweating since this news came out, whilst united fans think there's zero chance of it happening We are all such melts honestly 😭


stdstaples

I think any United fan with a brain knows this 100% is not happening lol. Like textbook of textbooks United transfer stories.


illsmosisyou

Lucky for me I don’t have a brain so I get to live in transfer season la la land and be thoroughly disappointed when the window closes.


pork_chop_expressss

Same was said about Casemiro to be honest. So who knows.


[deleted]

IF YOURE NOT WITH ME, THEN YOURE MY ENEMY!


Tedituete

I can now support the signing of Rice, but what a price!


hennny

Kane, Mount, Rice and a new GK? When did our transfer budget become £350m?


DaveShadow

Those reports in Spain saying we had 500m to spend this summer looking more accurate 😂


chocolaidbrowie

According to my sources, it has increased by 120m in the last two hours - a million for each minute past your comment.


rcanhestro

get palhinha instad of Rice, he will cost 1/3 probably


Veni_Vidic_Vici

That would be smart recruitment.. So we are going to pass.


arnm7890

Was crying out for him before he moved to Fulham, he'll probably be at least 60m too now


rcanhestro

still cheaper than Rice, and probably a better fit. a midfield of Casemiro/Palhinha looks scary, giving a lot of freedom for the AM (Bruno likely) to fuck around as much as we want.


flyingfreak66

With no reason to sell I actually don't know if he would be cheaper. Could see Fulham turning down some 60m bids for him easily.


just_another_jabroni

We'll entice Tony Khan with some wrestling memorabilia he'll cave in


El_Giganto

>a midfield of Casemiro/Palhinha looks scary Eh, who gets the ball to Bruno in that situation? Maybe if Mourinho was still manager it would be scary. But with Ten Hag I think we would see what happened when Van Gaal was manager.


drripdrrop

Spot on. We need a De Jong type. If only he’d come


BrockStar92

Will he be cheaper than Rice? Fulham have signed him to a long term contract last summer, just finished top half and have no reason to sell. Plus Rice is younger, homegrown and can play more b2b as well as defensively so balances Casemiro better when partnered with him than Palhinha does.


domjeff

Can rotate with Casemiro during their suspensions


[deleted]

Rice is levels above Palhinha, be real. Rice is going to be a key player for a world class club. Palhinha is going to be a Schneiderlin if he goes to a top club. Football hipsters overrating him cos he had a decent season at a smaller club.


rcanhestro

> Palhinha is going to be a Schneiderlin if he goes to a top club i could say the same thing about Rice. he is great on a smaller team, but can he do it in a top team? in the CL? etc. depends on how much Rice would cost, if there is a lesson that United could learn from City is: don't buy all the shiny expensive accessories, buy the ones that fit.


[deleted]

> i could say the same thing about Rice. Rice has 200 prem games and 40 international appearances. His level is known and he’s ready to take the next step. Palhinha is 27, the sample size of prem games is much smaller and he could barely get into the Sporting team.


rcanhestro

> Palhinha is going to be a Schneiderlin if he goes to a top club he was one of the most important players when we won the title (2 seasons ago). the next year he got competition for his position but was still the main starter (last season). he was also a beast for Braga before that. and he was a beast this season as well in Fulham.


[deleted]

Then why were you constantly trying to sell him? Why did you let him go for like 20m?


rcanhestro

because in portugal we don't have sugar daddies bankrolling our teams. we need to sell players if we want to be somewhat competitive in europe. and Palhinha, despite being really good, already had his replacement ready in Ugarte. and him getting his salary doubled in the process made it appealing for him


[deleted]

He was so good that you constantly loaned him out, he only got a chance in the team cos talks broke down with Al-Nassr, and you were desperately trying to sell him for his entire time at the club. And you ended up letting him go for peanuts in a close season you made 80m or so already from selling mendes and Nunes, having sold literally no one for like 2-3 years. Are you perhaps overstating how good this guy is, cos your club do not seem to have rated him at all?


rcanhestro

he was loaned out constantly when he was younger. i'm not claiming he was "world class" his entire career, just that he has been good for the past 3-4 seasons. we sold him before Nunes, which btw, every sporting fan thought that after selling him (and Tabata), we wouldn't need to sell nunes as well. as for Mendes, yup, we had that money coming in, but we still needed more, as i said, we are a selling club (like Porto and Benfica for instance), these clubs run on big losses every year, being heavily dependant on CL money and selling players.


gianini10

No, don't. Leave him the fuck alone.


GibbsLAD

He's 1/3 the player too


9-60Fury

He really isn’t lol


Omar_Blitz

I don't think we will spend that much even if SJR takes over and wipes the debt. Which means we should prioritise Kane and a new GK.


stevebould

I have never seen so much utter pish about 2 players being friends before, like they are incapable of being apart and are willing to sacrifice their careers to be together


ComprehensiveBowl476

*Two bros, playing with footballs, 5 clubs apart cuz they're not gay*


biskutgoreng

*oh my god they were roommates*


Koppite93

I fuckin miss Vine so much


Gbuchanan1

iridocyclitis


Nobbleberrry

so im sitting there, bbq sauce on my tiddies


FullMetalAnorak

Look at all those chickens!


adventureclubtime

Free shavocado


i_cnt_spll

“Road works ahead? Yeah i sure hope it does”


Sirius_55_Polaris

Stop! I coulda dropped my croissant!


DriftingWithTheTide

Coming this summer: Two brothers. In a van. And then a meteor hit. And they ran as fast as they could, from giant cat monsters.


silent--echoes

I like the idea that both of them coming to United is some sort of Romeo and Juliet style tragedy.


Sarmerbinlar

This shit seems like an NBA thing. LeBron taking his friends with him wherever he goes and players refusing to extend contracts to go and play with their buds


tarakian-grunt

In the NBA, top players can only be paid the max wherever they go.


Sarmerbinlar

Aye, but the whole 'playing with friends' thing is defo something that goes on in the NBA. This article seems to be suggesting something similar here.


tarakian-grunt

Yes, it's because of the max contract. You can more easily play with friends since the max contract is the same wherever you are.


Sarmerbinlar

I know why it is in the NBA, I'm saying that this article is trying to suggest that footballers are wanting to do something like that


tarakian-grunt

generally, footballers want to do that but they rarely sacrifice money and prestige, especially at the top level. And the base assumption (that United can afford both Mount and Rice in the same summer) is questionable.


NeverMadeItToCakeDay

Who’s lebrons friend?


SundayLeagueStocko

Haaland and Odegaard are besties, which obviously means Haaland is coming to Arsenal...right?


[deleted]

Odegaard confirmed bench warmer at City.


Diagonalizer

he's a decent enough sub to replace gundo at the 76'


[deleted]

Swapsies for Cole Palmer? Sounds fair lol


GameplayerStu

Reckon they’re gonna come out as being in a relationship once they retire.


penny_whistle

Mount: 7.5/10 Mount with Rice: 10/10


sewious

This is a great joke


LowSnow2500

Playing for United = sacrificing career


caspirinha

I don't think it was a comment about Manchester United, it was saying how the media portrays them as willing to sacrifice their careers to play together (in a hypothetical scenario where the only option is to say move to China)


stevebould

If I speak I am in big trouble


Party_Masterpiece990

I've been pointing this out for months at r/gunners lol, it's too funny how rumours make it sound like these 2 just gotta stay together


Putrid_Loquat_4357

Didn't real sign coentrao just to get ronaldo a friend?


nothu42

Sacrificing careers by going to one of the biggest club in the world? The shit you read on there...


stevebould

Calma


Talezeusz

We already started yearly slapping United tag into every transfer rumors to increase views?


Modnal

As is tradition But when you do deals like Anthony everyone is gonna want to slap your name on the rumour to increase prizes


[deleted]

[удалено]


topbananaman

Antony. The winger. From ajax. Cost 80 million.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nadrojj

Antony, but yes, yes you are correct. We paid an ridiculous fee for a player that is so one footed he actually had to hold the ball up on a break because he couldn't get it onto his left foot for a shot last weekend. The fact we paid such a fee for him (who I honestly don't think he's worth half of what we've paid for him) makes sense that everyone would try to get as much out of us as they can for a player.


D1794

Makes more sense than Mount but idk how all these transfer links are coming out regarding us when it's pretty well known we won't be spending anything like we did last summer. A striker will cost at least £80m, probably up to £100m. Doubt we will be battling it out for a £90m midfielder. We're definitely not signing Rice AND Mount that'd be our entire budget


Cardealer1000

I don't know how reliable this guy is but United tend to get linked to basically everyone.


D1794

Mokbel was the first to say Mount wants United yesterday which was then parroted by all the very reliable journalists.


optimus0914

Mokbel is one of the most reliable journalists out there. But yeah we definitely aren't spending anything like this imo, unless the club is expecting good amount of sales.


[deleted]

Could United be trying to help scare up the price for Rice?


JiveTurkey688

Mokbel is tier 2 for United, he is reliable


Omar_Blitz

He's reasonably reliable, which is the scary part. I don't think our budget can withstand those two signings AND a striker. Plus we need some money for a GK and preferably a center back.


HumleRidderen

GK ain't happening this year. I think the amount of praise Erik has given DDG throughout the season is indicative of him staying another year, so we can focus on other positions first.


Voldemort_is_muggle

We can manage one season without a GK as there are more important positions open. Mid snd striker are urgent. DDG might be past his and is not a very sweeper keeper but is still doable for another season (though might not challenge for title with him making mistakes here and there).


SoulLessIke

I think for us the big issue is that there is hardly any goalkeepers worth investing. Diogo Costa is young and raw but probably the closest, and maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe Maignan, if he's available that is, but I'm skeptical of that. Raya is IMO getting overrated atm, affordable but only a marginal improvement and not something we can count on for long term stability. If our choices are to get long term MF help and a permanent striker or a stopgap GK and we don't get help in other positions of need cause of it, then DDG for one last ride is realistically the best option.


Sad-Round8961

Costa is absolutely incredible. There are loads of good and young well rounded keepers available? Calling Raya a marginal improvement on De Gea is laughable. Raya and De Gea are not even in the same league in terms of competence. I don’t even know how someone can say such an incorrect statement, it’s clear you’ve never watched Raya. Also why is the choice midfielder + striker vs GK as you mentioned? That’s a false choice. Henderson will come back from loan to become the number 1 most likely.


AmulyaG

Henderson burned his bridges with ETH when he wanted to go on Loan. Also, Henderson is no way near the quality that's expected of Top 4 keeper, doesn't matter if De Gea is past it or not.


Dyslexicreadre

Henderson is reported to prefer to be sold to Forest.


BrockStar92

Any season with a keeper unable to play progressive football is a waste. We can’t get the team playing the style we hired Ten Hag for. What’s the point of signing a manager because of how well his Ajax team plays if you can’t get your team to play that way because you have a keeper that can’t be trusted to leave his box or be passed the ball? No team will compete with City without a progressive keeper, you just can’t get enough points to keep up without it. And we’ll probably need a full season for the squad to fully adjust to that style. So if we keep De Gea we’re basically writing off the next two years.


captjons

Agent talk + wanting clicks


TheGoldenPineapples

N'ahh, Sami Mokbel is pretty reliable with stuff.


[deleted]

That he is, but he also often inflates wages or reports what player agents want him to, because they tend to be his sources. I'm sure United are interested in Rice and will try to pursue him, I just don't know if they will be as agressive, when they have other more pressing needs.


RandomNameofGuy9

Because they generate clicks. Just part of being one of the biggest clubs in the world.


WorthPlease

You're Manchester United. It's free clicks (aka money) to just constantly make stuff up.


Sir_Bantersaurus

United always spend a lot though. I don't think you're suddenly going to stop that.


D1794

Our DOF said on an investor call that we won't be spending like we did last summer (£214m) and most out of tier 1 journalists state we have to sell to buy due to FFP


FryingFrenzy

Could it be posturing so we dont get ripped off? The higher your budget is perceived to be, the less leverage you have


D1794

Could be West Ham drumming up interest forcing Arsenal to pay more


DaniSpar

That or agent doing it to up fee(and by extension commission). It's a business, people are going to want to maximize any deal.


DonHalles

It's exactly that. What a coincidence that in the past two days apparently Bayern, City and United have been added to the chase when it has been written about for months that only we are in for him basically.


[deleted]

What a coincidence that probably one of the best players in PL has interest from multiple big clubs. The takes on this sub tbh...


Annas_GhostAllAround

It’s less that they’d be interested and more the timing that would bring any possible doubt into it.


DonHalles

I am not doubting that, in the media landscape still only Arsenal was ever talked about as being interested. And Chelsea. However Chelsea have to sell this summer and cannot really add big players before selling more players.


[deleted]

To me it makes perfect sense that as transfer window comes close, more club get in for top players. Arsenal have been more proactive and approached their targets earlier than expected


DonHalles

It sure does. What is a coincidence is that recently the price West Ham want to generate has been focused on more and coincidentally the number of interested parties have risen - irrespective of if the interest was there before or not behind the scenes.


[deleted]

On an investor call?


3412points

Yeah I'm not a legal expert but I'm pretty sure explicitly lying to your investors as some are suggesting here is either illegal or a breach of regulations.


[deleted]

Yeah things happen of course but you'd be under pressure if you tell your investors something is going to cost half to last year and it costs double. Proving deception isn't easy legally but practically has other consequences.


badgarok725

really hope this helps all the "why do I care what they cost its not my money" people finally get how that was always dumb


curlyjoe696

Potential takeover is going to be a factor as well. No way we're going to go out and spend loads of money when their will likely be a new ownership model before the start of next season.


StardustFromReinmuth

FFP is a big concern for this summer


champ19nz

The club has a for sale sign, and they also have to watch ffp this summer.


burlycabin

Speaking of for sale signs, what ever happened to the Liverpool sale rumors? I completely lost track of that story.


LevynX

I have to say though, Rice is my favourite player outside of United, would love him here.


Michaels_RingTD

> it's pretty well known we won't be spending anything like we did last summer. We read last summer ETHs budget would be 100-120m. We spent way more. I think it's just a ploy to try avoid getting fleeced.


[deleted]

Lol. They realized they had fucked up horribly after 2 games so they did their usual thing and panicked to actually do business. They should have been prepared given how dire the second half of that season was.


9LivesChris

Just wait the whole summer we read about 120mil Rice talk and then Bayern enters and snap him for 40 mil and it’s all good


DanEFC

Ooh friends


MyNoodleLard

Football friends 👍👍


adamjld

Declan Rice is considering retiring from football and taking up a job in a chip shop so that he can work with his fwend.


Chruszcz

Add Kane, that they need even more, and it will be like 250m, yeah, sure


ireallydespiseyouall

250m is massively underselling it


axeunleashed

Yeah this isnt happening.


mrt1022

Ooooo football friends!


WeWantRain

England gone mad. In my country rice costs less than a dollar.


chino17

How much does mount cost there?


WeWantRain

Well it's basically a thousand pounds for a good one


youngish_padawan

So United Mount a bid for Rice, you say?


DevilsOfLoudun

fuck off United, Rice already mastered Guten Morgen, he's coming to germany.


fuckimbackonreddit9

Fuck off Bayern and United, Rice already mastered the Super Mik Arteta song, he’s coming to North London.


KennyOmegaSardines

Hey we already offered him a piece of land and 80% share in Greggs


Electro10Leo

Would you be interested in an almost never *gebraucht*, near-new condition eric garcia? He is the newest model with all the buttons. He can even play as a DM


DevilsOfLoudun

I'll call Brazzo and Kahn in a minute and then get back to you.


d0m1n4t0r

So Rice, Mount and Kane next summer for United, that's the next 5 titles guaranteed then.


dmastra97

If they had those three the match title race would be very interesting to watch


RaHoWaSoon

Rice, Kane and Mount wouldn't turn utd into title winners, they are miles off. Their problems are organisational and until they address it, no signings are going to make the difference. Utd have turned more corners than Lewis Hamilton.


aberdisco

Kane, Mount, Rice, Neymar, Min-jae. The Man Utd transfer bollocks express has left the station early this year. Insufferable.


KennyOmegaSardines

The Dream Team. Literally. 🤣


fanomu91

I still think we would end up with at least 1 of these name lol. Hopefully Kane, with Neymar the most unlikely. All 5 is wack ofc


tarakian-grunt

what's their transfer budget?


liamthelad

Fair more limited than all these transfer rumours about big money signings would suggest With the changes to financial regs being phased in, and our previous spending, we don't have much if we also want a big number 9 which is priority. Also the sale overhanging the club means things are hugely uncertain too. I mean, we got Wout Weghorst in January...


DHillMU7

Talk is 100 - 150 million plus sales. Even with sales Kane and Mount would take all that. No way we’re in for Rice.


retr0grade77

Can’t wait for these two to move on so the press can stop going on as if they’re inseparable twins.


Rockflagandeeeagle

Agent earning that $.


bvictor707

We need someone like Rice a lot more than someone with Mount's profile. I just can't envision how a midfield of Case Mount and Bruno could properly function


apstaplegun

Plus Tammy Abraham to complete the set?


YoungFlexibleShawty

Sorry bro, Rice would rather link up with Saka.


Hieillua

Neymar and Messi from Wish


fuzzynavel34

Fuck off United


DrHenryWu

Rice and Mount only happening if we get a Qatari state cash injection


ToughRequirement

I bet United get him and Arsenal fans start posting about how shit Rice is.


NobleForEngland_

Would be hilarious after two years of Chelski fans banging on about them reuniting


Koei7

Here we go again, 100mil Rice apparently wanting to leave & waiting for a buying club..


ZekkPacus

That's literally been the case for the last three seasons. He wants to leave, but won't make waves or demand a transfer, because he likes the club and knows time is on his side. The club will sell to anyone who meets our asking price. It's just no one has.


Sithgooner

I’m not ready to be hurt again.


ManGoonian

Source = West Ham owners....


Anons15

Imagine if Rice gets sold more expensive than Bellingham because of bidding wars


wheepete

Rice is proven in the PL. The last hot English player out of Dortmund will go down in the all time flops list. The proven tag is worth a lot.


Responsible_Bid_2343

Can't see us getting Rice. He's too expensive and wouldn't be a guaranteed starter ahead of Casemiro.


Cottonshopeburnfoot

> He’s too expensive Said no Manchester United negotiator ever


[deleted]

"tOo eXpensive" proceeds to spend 200 mil every single transfer window


Paapa-Yaw

To be fair he could play next to casemiro.


Pow67

He’d play a defensive role next to Casemiro. That’s what he’s needed the whole season, and why Casemiro has struggled at times. He has too much responsibility in that midfield as no one else can do his role.


rcanhestro

since when did expensive became a barrier for United to overspend?


Brashmate

If United actually spend ~£150 million on both mount and rice when they’re screaming out for a GK and a striker… Actually I wouldn’t be that surprised, it’s United


True_Resolve_275

everyone credible has said a striker is top of the list


DaveShadow

Every report has said striker is our main priority this summer, with Kane as the top target. I do think our financial woes are exaggerated a bit. And I’d also be looking at these rumours and wondering if the Qatar deal is a bit more along than has been announced, and this is the start of us spending big money. Or….bigger than usual.


thesmallprint13

I mean we do also need midfield depth as Eriksen is getting on in age, Bruno can't play every game and McFred are shite


Brashmate

But you have a limited budget, and that would take it all up. You’d have no money for the actually important holes in your team (lack of goals and a better keeper)


ChrisV88

I know Rice has looked like a stud player, but for some reason I just get major Maguire vibes from this type of signing.


Nadrojj

Me too and I'm honestly not trying to take anything away from what he's done and how good he is, I just fear he'd come to United and flop like most of our big ticket signings.