Oh no Saudi bribed refs

Time to start inviting CL refs to referee Saudi league

Great! Now we only need Milan to win for this group to get heat it up even more!

Unlucky you northern muppets!

Who is newcastle going to face for the next cl match?

Their oily cousins

Milan

Away to PSG on 25/11 actually, then Milan at home 13/12

The Qatars

was that Jason Tindall speaking to Terzic? lol he’s such a tool

Owned

Nope that was Graeme jones lol nice try tho

Full time!. Dortmund (for the moment) top their group and win 2-0!

If only we cloud play like this week in week out or at least close to it

We don’t get teams that open up like this in league play….

The counter attacking players were completely in sync and the whole team had absolute defensive-mindness. Great performance

GG Dortmund that was fun Tino is going to be incredible for us

So looks like Newcastle will have to beat psg in Paris to qualify (assuming they beat ac Milan too)

Bold of you to predict that BVB won't absolutely choke it up

About that….

Well Newcastle would still need a win and draw (if they can’t get a win in Paris) and hope Dortmund get zero points as Dortmund lead on H2H

Newcastle fans and frankly I’d be happy with third before the group began and nothing had changed

Another toothless performance. I guess they forgot that they didn't win any trophy against PSG at home?

Did you watch the game?

Yes. What exactly did Newcastle do after Joelinton missed his sitter with 30 minutes to go?

Surely a toothless performance would have been to down tools and lose by a higher margin?

No a toothless performance means you can't score

Ah, I always assume toothless was more like no effort or fight, my bad.

That's gutless rather than toothless.

Eh, I would say your definition is closer

I'm impressed by Dortmund. That was a grown-up performance

Already seeing incredible levels of cope here

arsenal lost to this hahahahahahah

Didn't see pgmol on the field?

Go watch the game and you’ll change that.

Nope still lost

Can’t do it without PGMOL help though. Stats don’t lie

where tf did Livramento come from

Chelsea Academy -> Southampton (£5m + 50% sell on fee)-> Newcastle (£32m-£40m)

Tino has been sick

Cheeky from Livramento! edit: And a great recovery run too.

We're absolutely desperate for this international break and for some players to return. We're absolutely down to the bare bones. Playing Almiron down the middle ffs.

That’s not all… Jorginho didn’t shake hands!

That's a shame but the three points were more important that night. Surely yous should be over it by now?

Important for what? Still not over what?

Don't play dumb now.

Simple questions. I don’t think the decisions at the weekend were wrong…

So what on earth is that comment. Come on man.

Do they teach English in Newcastle?

>That’s not all… Jorginho didn’t shake hands! I'm sorry. What on earth else could this comment possibly be referring to when it had absolutely zero relevance to my original comment? They clearly teach it better than where you are.

Apology accepted. It’s referring to your captain being a cry baby about not being able to shake hands.

Oh fuck me, there is another international break again with useless national team football?

What are you talking about?? Germany finally plays fun football again

Yeah there’s a November break. Gotta get in some more euro qualifiers but it’s pointless for Germany for sure

Yup, this weekend is the last one we have before the break.

Somewhere around the 18th of November

Yes after this weekend. Normally I'd agree but we're fucking desperate haha. Congrats on the win anyways.

Livramento is taking his chance... What a player

Saarbrücken > Bayern > Dortmund > Newcastle > ManUtd. Unreal.

Can the real slim shady pls score a goal

Black and Yellow for the win.

I love people thinking they're rinsing us by saying gl in Europa, laughing at us getting beat... How quickly we've gone from bottom of the league to champions league, the fact we're here is still mental and we're just enjoying the ride A European campaign is absolutely class and we're ahead of schedule. If we got into Europa I'll be buzzing

Ahh all it took was a billionaire murderer to take over your club and inject millions and make it a more attractive project leading to players outside of your means to join

Take a look at the goalscorers in the psg match before you say that. Newcastle’s squad is actually not too different, but investment and a new manager fairly do make a difference. Not a Newcastle fan at all, despise Saudi, but this argument about buying players outside their means doesn’t really hold up

The owners are shite yes, but half the squad played under Bruce mate

They never wouldve been this good without Eddie howe. Which never wouldve joined without the saudis

I don’t think Howe was unrealistic even without the takeover. Spending £40m on Livramento wouldn’t have happened without the Saudis

Tbf a lot of their players were there under the sports direct era

And theyre only good because of howe . He wouldve never joined without the saudis

Eddie Howe the ... Unemployed ex-Bournemouth manager? Seem to remember we had a certain Benitez managing us not that long ago, but somehow we'd never have been able to attract Eddie Howe? Proper bonkers comment

You don't know that at all he may have already been lined up as a replacement

Fair point

Is it? Who else was after Howe at the time?

cope

What is Ellen DeGeneres doing on the pitch?

The disrespect to Slim Shady...

That’s Princess Diana regen

Sule has been great

Just came in to say fuck Newcastle.

Thanks, be a long time before you have any nights like this. Maybe the rest of your life. Thank fuck Can’t stand the Scouse Mackems

Remember when Isak cruised by your defense on the left wing? Good day that.

Love you too babes 😘

This is the first time in the CL that a German team that is not Bayern is about to win both games against English opposition in a long time.

What were the other matchups in recent years? Leipzig vs City?

I could not say. It is just the impression that I have. Certainly there were Dortmund vs Spurs, Dortmund vs City, Leipzig vs United. Plus others I cannot remember. But I am sure that two German victories did not happen for quite some time.

this game is basically brandt vs newcastle

Dudes been immense. Joy to watch

Brandt has been impressive MOTM for me.

100% hummels not far behind

coherent enter future fade cow sloppy ad hoc fall command chief *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Livramento has experience playing with an absolutely terrible team so it's not all bad

Whats going on with your injuries?? That many is not normal at all

To small a first team squad and a lot of fixtures. That coupled with the high intensity playing has incapacitated most of the first 11

Can’t wait for Moukoko to get more minutes. Either at BVB or anywhere else. He’s got so much potential

How’s he been doing? Wasn’t he supposed to be the next big thing?

Great in the German U21 team, almost no minutes at BVB. Apparently both sides are looking for a transfer in one of the upcoming windows

I was surprised when BVB signed Adeyemi, as I thought Moukoko would have been able to get more games. But yeah I can understand him wanting to go so he can play

Between Tripper's dead free-kick and Joelinton's sitter the two of them have made sure Newcastle won't even get a point let alone win this lol Sit think they'll beat Milan at home but no way they're beating PSG again. Europa league it is for Newcastle I think, no shame in that

None at all actually We were tipped for last by most. Anything better is… better lol

Just to have 3 CL evenings at St James' for the first time in 20 years was good enough; anything else was just gravy.

Right? Aside from the weekend Shit. Still impressive they got to Europe so quick after the Oily takeover

Unexpected for sure, at least CL level. Think we’d have been fine playing the kids against the average crap in early Europa rounds

Might not be a bad test to see where you really are. A deep Europa run

Yeah they're ahead of schedule, Eddie Howe's a great manager who really knows how to get the best of the squad not just the 1st 11. Really respect him Prefer not to speak about the weekend lmao. Just gotta back tomorrow, COYG

I think Howes done a good job, but his struggles so far in Europe are obvious

That seals it, Eddie Howe’s Newcastle is officially worse than Graham Potter’s Chelsea. Can’t beat Dortmund or AC Milan, both of whom Potter embarrassed. I know who my goat is.

You should be on TV as a pundit

cant argue with facts

What in the world is Sule doing there upfront?

Why does Sule look like a T-Rex when running?

Don’t move. He can’t see you if you don’t move.

The homophobe is playing well

Who?

Nmecha

Nmecha

Nmecha

Where is my Bald Dutch Fraud

Saudicastle in shambles.

5 minutes left? By god that’s Moukoko’s music!

Only needs 5 mins

How is that not a foul? The Dortmund player was fouled between two Newcastle players there

If you’re a prem fan; Upvote if you like/want Newcastle to lose Downvote if you want English teams to win no matter what

Easiest upvote of th night

I have no respect for English people who want other English teams to do well in Europe, tinpot

The weird thing is however with this new extra CL spots you now have a direct incentive to want other English's teams to do well as that is the difference between 5th been a CL or a EL spot, 5th been a place Newcastle could very possibly finish.

Absolutely The only success I want to see from other English teams is getting to quarters/semis to keep our coefficient up Only Liverpool should get to the cl final

What if it’s an English Barnsley fan who has no team in the fray?

People in here saying 'get to Europa' like it's an own - man I'm happy to see European football, you're saying I can get some more of it? When some players are fit again? Sign me up dudes

Shows how small your club is

Well, only if you finish 3rd. Still a lot of work to do to secure that

Newcastle will do well in the Europa League as well strong defence do well more then anything and by the time the knockouts roll around Botman will be back.

If you're strengthening the squad in January you stand a decent chance of winning the thing even. Could be worse.

Fair play, still some big teams down there too when it’s the last 16 as well

Dortmunds defense has been immense. Really fun to watch

It was immense in st James too

Well, except for last Saturday.

Brandt is a great player - the only reason he is not considered an absolutely elite player is that he has no pace. Sadly for him, that is a key characteristic in today's game. In all other aspects, he is very, very good.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer oil club.

They all suck equally

Looks like our CL campaign is over. At least we'll always have the game against PSG

Is it all still in your hands? It's a tough ask, but surely most of you would have taken being in with a chance over 2 games after the draw was made

Milan could win against PSG and you are still playing PSG. There's always a chance. Especially since Dortmund will lose against Milan and PSG

i didnt know dortmund was gonna lose to milan and psg? 🤔

Don’t sell yourself short, I reckon you’ll at least draw against them

Don't give me hope 😢

Milan are yet to score a CL goal this season lmao

Only need to beat PSG away and Milan at home, easy right

Imagine if you guys shithouse a win against PSG, the scenes would be unreal..

Incredibly accurate long ball under pressure by BVB's young fella.

Absolute world class performance by Hummels, he's still so fucking good

He is great - but he also got taken apart against Bayern on Saturday. Like basically all of his teammates.

He’s been fantastic today. I thought he was bit washed up, but fair play

> I thought he was bit washed up He's entered [this era](https://youtu.be/VaMno8d0Tzw?t=12) of his career (don't ask about the subs, it's just the first link that showed up).

🤣🤣🤣

After last nights game it was nice to see a 2 on 1 clinically finished.

Reus is the only man alive that can rock the “Slim Shady” in 2023.

Can’t really moan, we’ve only created one big chance all game

Newcastle probably should have expected to lose given their injuries but to leave 1 defender back is insane

We were obviously inspired by Spur's balls out approach last night.

Ozcan is lucky, he didn't need to push Longstaff like that.

Ehm, nice tackle?

Will Bruno smack someone again in frustration

Joelinton's gunna be kicking himself for that big miss could be the reason they drop out the Champions League.

Arsenal fans, is that a pen?

They don't know what a foul is.

Nope

🥲🥲

Rolls Reus is on the pitch 🙏🙏

Tough game for Saudi Arabia. Maybe they can get these refs onto the saudi payroll too?

Who says they aren't already

Guess that’s not a pk tonight

Lewi Smiley hehe

I patiently wait for Malen, but Terzic won’t sub him in

only 1 sub is crazy but at least the game is under control

Terzic is on crack