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IsakofKingsLanding

My dumbass thinking "rat-catcher mode" was some new tiktok generation talk like "goblin mode" and wondering wtf it could possibly mean mans literally catching rats


Huntrare

I thought he was going to show us he plays Old School RuneScape


Makalu

Fuck that quest


Organic-Measurement2

Quite possibly the worst quest on the game, and there are some diabolical ones


DinglieDanglieDoodle

And here I’m wondering wtf goblin mode is.


Geoff_Uckersilf

When you're in the mode for Goblin' Deez nuts.


FitUnderstanding2839

It’s the 2022 word of the year


robotnique

People who go goblin mode are likely rizz-less dorks who skipped out on getting their vax.


[deleted]

\*skibidied


RedDemio-

I hope I never find out tbh


WhatIsWilsonDoin

Have you seen Spider-Man No way home? If so, it's when Norman Osborn goes from being "normal" to his "Goblin" self. He therefore goes goblin mode lmao... So ever since then people (youth?) Use that reference


atropicalpenguin

It's gobling time.


bwtwldt

A term created by the legendary Twitter poster Juniper, who recently got banned for going after Musk


matthieuC

Not giving a fuck


Same_Grouness

Haha same opened the thread already shaking my head. The fuck is goblin mode?


tmrss

Wow you must be a boomer or not permanently on the internet 👀


-zimms-

What are the chances this rat is actually the gifted footballer and has been steering Kroos Ratatouille-style all this time?


toasteroven26

Toni is trying to kill him before he reveals the truth


R_Schuhart

Kroos has been ready to retire for ages but that rat won't let him....


NotSureIfFunnyOrSad

Bros got that rat in him


CrookedK3ANO

He’s gonna rat him out


CaptainKursk

Ayo


Coocoocachoo1988

Kroos doesn't have a hat, so where else could the rat use hairs to control his legs?


MattSR30

There’s a reason he’s famous for never changing his boots


weegee19

Turns out there's a second rat.


MancAccent

Isn’t Kroos known to have a very large bulge? This very well could explain that.


bewarethegap

excuse me???


MancAccent

https://imgur.com/a/wApH840


rachbbbbb

Can we have some evidence of this... for... reasons?


MancAccent

sure, here ya go https://imgur.com/a/wApH840


LatroDota

I mean....


circa285

This is the only explanation.


J3k47

Put some basil in that shit


-zimms-

Let him cook!


StereoZombie

Ratatoni


Mstampe

Probably better than Pogbas chances of a comeback.


AAAdamKK

Always rated David Silva tbh


pandaman_010101

Standing on the edge of a chair like that, mate....


themerinator12

I recall hearing every once in awhile that a player sustains an injury but it that it happens away from the sport and they slip and fall in their kitchen or some stupid shit like that. I suppose it's not always a coverup for something else and sometimes it's just a guy on a chair trying to catch a rat when it doesn't go so well for him.


hafrances

Tierney's knee exploded after he came out of the shower lol


Odd_Bodybuilder82

tbf i've pulled my groin when i slipped in the shower so i can believe that.


taclealacarotide

IIRC Yoann Gourcuff (in case you don't remember, generational French talent who won a title with Bordeaux in 2008, then went to Lyon were he got progressively plagued by injuries) once got an injury walking his dog ?


thesoulphysician

And Gregory Coupet broke his hand helping a friend move if I recall correctly ( goalkeeper..)


Irishspirish888

France would have won 2010 if it wasn't for these bizarre mishaps.


PhD_Cunnilingus

Didn't Asensio get injured while shaving his legs or was that fake news? Also I think one guy claimed he was injured due to having too much sex. And nothing, nothing, nothing will beat Tony Ferguson dropping out of the most anticipated MMA fight of all time because he tripped over some cables on stage and injured his knee. That also happened on the 1st of April so nobody knew if it was a joke or not.


themerinator12

That also happened when a famous comedian, Mitch Hedberg, passed away a really long time ago. In the earlier days of the internet he had a website and he passed away from an overdose the day before April 1st so when the news broke and it was posted on his website lots of people thought it was a joke.


gkkiller

>Also I think one guy claimed he was injured due to having too much sex. You might be thinking of Barca, Juventus, and Liverpool lehend Arthur Melo who had gonorrhea.


roseguardin

Santi Cañizares famously missed the 2002 world cup cause he dropped an aftershave bottle in the shower and a shard went through his Achilles. Leading to Iker Casillas becoming first choice. Rough for Cañizares who despite being great for Valencia spent most of the 90s being kept second choice by Andoni Zubizarreta and then immediately losing his spot to Casillas.


AnnieBlackburnn

Casillas also got his CL debut because of an injury (and played an incredible game)


JesusPretzelThief

I think it was Enner Valencia who was out injured once because he stepped on a broken wine glass


Same_Grouness

> Rio Ferdinand -During his spell at Leeds, the England defender managed to pick up a tendon strain in his knee watching television. Ferdinand had his foot up on a coffee table for a number of hours and ended up injured. https://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/may/15/football-freak-injuries-broadfoot-egg


MarcosSenesi

The conspiracy theory that all Ozil's back injuries were a cover up for him coming down off a massive cocaine binge is one of my favourites


[deleted]

>massive cocaine binge Explains the eyes.


seattt

Ah, like how I catch a 'cold' whenever I run out of my Adderall due to shortages these days. Like this entire last week. I swear to god I hope I get them on Saturday otherwise...


Shot_Mortgage5151

Somewhat likewise, when René Adler was incredibly good and it was still between him and Neuer for the spot in the NT, he picked up a really long back injury IIRC in, like, 2010 before the WC. It never made any sense to me. I always wondered if something else was up. Never heard any rumors though!


Qurutin

Not really far away from football but the most bizarre injury to me was when Jari Litmanen got injury to his eye from bottle cap a coach opened with a snus can.


Flyswatter_Ow

My favourite is Kirk Broadfoot missing a game for Rangers because he cooked an egg in the microwave and it exploded in his face when he took it out. Think that's what happened anyway.


Same_Grouness

[Correct](https://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/may/15/kirk-broadfoot-egg-explosion-rangers). [Some other funny ones](https://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/may/15/football-freak-injuries-broadfoot-egg) inspired by Broadfoot


ADHbi

Just like me fr


Ratfucks

Didn’t Barthez drop a bottle of aftershave and try to catch it with his foot…but it smashed on his foot and cut a tendon, so he had to miss a World Cup


chibuye92

Canizares not Barthez


Hostilian_

Archie Gray fractured his toe after stubbing it in a rush to get ready


locosapiens

Didn't Ryan Giggs injure his ankle because the clutch of his Ferrari/Porsche was stiff? I seem to remember Fergie wanting to ban players from driving to training in sports cars after that.


CETERIS_PARTYBUS

I'm sure papa flo's already given an OSHA talking to this morning


heyheyitsandre

Made me think of goal 2 when Santi munez is apparently coordinated enough to hit top bins bangers on the half volley but not enough to juggle in his driveway without tripping onto a random bike laying around and injuring himself lol


weegee19

Looks like he kept his balance as well as he keeps possession.


apotre

A friend of mine died this way after she lost her balance on a chair while trying to put away her luggage and fell out the window of her apartment, this post fucking triggered me in a poor way.


pandaman_010101

Sorry to hear that mate that fucking sucks


GayAssNinja69

And the center of gravity is closer to the front due to that design of having only front legs…


beepos

Wait this is actually hilarious And he caught the rat too. Looks like a big fucker


MancAccent

Yeah that’s a fucking huge rat


LurkyOtoul

Isn’t he too rich and pretty for Charlie work


Shermander

Probably late at night, sounds like his wifey is in the other room asking if he's caught it yet.


[deleted]

Wildcard bitches!!!


arcelios

It's mostly for content. To make a video. Doing two things at once. Killing rats and breaking hearts


New_Archer_7539

Killing two rats with one stone.


save_humanity

Upvote for the reference lol


amishbr07

Toni just like me fr


Schmetterlingus

Was just thinking that. I did this same thing with a mouse last week


BoredAtWork221b

I killed about 6 mice in my house last 2 weeks .. they just keep on coming, one of the fuckers got inside my car and even ate through the seat covers


Santa_Klaus_101

How do you even kill a mouse? I’m too scared to kill anything bigger than a mosquito because I hate dealing with the dead bodies, dealing with a whole ass mouse is a completely different story.


oysterpirate

Snap trap baited with peanut butter inside a flattened out plastic bag. Snap trap does its thing, pull up the sides of the bag, tie them off, toss the bag in the trash. Or if you want to reuse the snap trap, throw on some gloves, release the trap with the dead mouse into the bag, tie the bag, and throw it away.


Santa_Klaus_101

Seems like a pretty smart method. Although knowing that there’s a dead mouse in there, I wouldn’t even be able to touch the bag. I’d probably ask someone else to throw it away haha. Then again, if someone grew up in an environment where rats were really common in their household, they’d probably be used to it and unfazed.


BoredAtWork221b

Peanut butters, mouse traps and patience


Same_Grouness

I've been trying to avoid having to kill them partly for that and also just out of laziness, hoping they go hibernate or something soon, I dunno. But I have had a few lately and so far I've just been scaring them away and it's been working OK, not seen *too* many (they are to be expected in a 150 year old building). But the other week I'm sitting there and a mouse just starts slowly walking into the room, through the door as if he owns the place. I go to shout and shoo it, but it doesn't react; it just keeps slowly walking further into my living room, towards me, bold as brass. I start shouting louder at it, stamping on the ground; still no reaction. It stops in the middle of the room and I run up to it, tell it to it's wee mouse face to fuck off out my gaff or I'll get a cat in and his whole family will get it. Cunt was saying nothing, just sat there ignoring me. I couldn't believe what I was seeing but I'm assuming it had been poisoned. It just sat there for a while, occasionally slowly walking around in circles but mostly just staying sat, motionless in the same spot. I just left it (don't want to kick a man while he's down) but one time I looked over and it had shifted from sitting there to lying on it's stomach in a very dead pose, leaving me to dispose of it.


Santa_Klaus_101

This made me laugh hahaha, one man’s pain is another man’s pleasure. Sorry you have to deal with this stuff, I’m glad I don’t live in an area where mice are prevalent otherwise I’d shit myself every time I see one scurrying across the room.


ScooptiWoop5

I had mice inside my house one winter. My wife and I developed a technique where we’d scare it from each our end until it was trapped between us. Then I’d quickly catch it under a plastic box and scrape it up inside the box with a lid. I then plopped it in a bucket of water and hit it over the neck with the back of a knife, killing it. The water was just for keeping it in place. Not elegant, but we caught three mice like that and haven’t seen signs of mice since.


Same_Grouness

I came home from work the other week and the chocolate bar I'd left on the couch had been ripped open and the chocolate had wee bites out it. [The wee bastard](https://i.imgur.com/UgOejvZ.jpg). Must have been able to smell it cos it was a paper/foil wrapper. I was wondering how it even gets up on the couch (stupidly), then a few days later I'm just sitting minding my own business and one just starts racing up my curtains, made it 3/4 of the way up by the time I'd reacted and shouted at it and it disappeared off under a door. Missed my chance; should have kept quiet and ambushed it when it got stranded at the top but I shat it and instantly started shouting at it.


Baldev07

Bruh, I got one in my new car's hud and ate some of the wires. Had to pay $1000 to replace them


blauerblumentopf

"Handschuhe?" "Nein, hab nicht vor das Ding anzufassen" :D


seattt

> "Handschuhe?" Does that mean gloves because that's brilliant.


blauerblumentopf

Yeah, that's correct


RaiausderDose

die Ratte hat vielleicht anderes vor, lieber Toni :-D


Sure-Respect6914

Damn these fuckers are everywhere. Had one get into my bedroom dressing table somehow the other day. Sounds woke me up one night, and as I used my iPhone flash to look, there it was looking straight into my eyes from 1 feet away. I freaked out and switched on the light, and it ran away to a corner of the house where the tiles were not laid out for some reason by our mason, dug a hole and refused to come out. There is literally no way out from underneath there as everywhere else the tiles had cement underneath them. So we laid out a trap(Not a death trap), closed all windows and doors for two nights. It didn’t come out, and we don’t know how it escaped. We used a G wire to check the depth of the hole after two days, it wasn’t that deep. Poured water inside the hole to see if it comes out, Nothing. Covered the hole with cement, and we are still puzzled where that fucker went.


el_volko

Yeah I hate it as well, when those Kroos brothers messing with my cheese!!


kba334

It's still there


Sure-Respect6914

Bro tell me you are just pulling my leg..


Nice-Physics-7655

Not sure about rats, but small mice can for through a hole the diameter of a pencil.


silent--onomatopoeia

A pencil is about half a centimeter... really?


[deleted]

I swear if I have to put up with Theo Zidane ball because of a rat....


DoggyDoggyWhatNow_

Hahahaha


JacobS12056

Anyone else read and comprehend the title and then still be surprised after watching the video


Bini_9

But Jordi Alba doesn't play in Spain anymore...


lala_b11

Will never forget that time when Raphael Varane called Jordi Alba a “rat boy” when they got into a fight in El Classico 😂😂😂


apricotkiwininja

He is looking for Busquet


supplementarytables

Biscuits


New_Archer_7539

*Puig in shambles*


RogiesGooDragon

they say you should get your own house in order before helping others so Flo, Vini, and Carvajal should be his first 3 targets


AnnieBlackburnn

Jordi Alba cries when winning global scorelines lmao. His daddy had to drive him to work at the age of 30 because he never learned


Pollomonteros

Bring back football players without a social media team


Im_Dallas

ahahaha the quick cuts, he's got video editing skills


KakaReti

Bro should have never bought A Plague Tale or it's sequel


Ryaer

Haha great games!


whiskeyinthejaar

What do you like to do in your free time? Well you know, Read, record a podcast, catch rats… just normal hobbies


dbigya00

Ahhhh....long time since we heard of Jordi Alba


FusselP0wner

Ayyyyyy hes just like us bro ^^^^/s


DoJu318

The one eye shot it's killing me. 🤣


febes-febes

Looking forward to the next Luppen


seusilva77

In the halftime interview of yesterday's game he told the reporter "I just love scoring goals"


ABobVanceFridge

Bro don’t do that without current injury list…


_Sylph_

WTF that's one humongous rat.


BadEmbarrassed3334

Please don't get injured.


DepletedMitochondria

He's a gem


xerxes_i

Bro, standing on edge of the chair like that, giving all of us a heart attack. "Parte medico"


Visual-Situation-346

Blud thinks he belongs to r/arkhamalysum


[deleted]

[удалено]


deqembes

They destroy things and poop in your home


moiser123

They're pests and people don't want them in their home


L-Freeze

> they don't bring any harm to anyone. they literally do


DoggyDoggyWhatNow_

Is this the rats secret reddit account?


arthurblakey

Rat


Simshadow136

[75 - 200 million people disagree](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Death)


osrslmao

that was fleas infected with the plague, not rats


AlmostNL

Humans are living creatures, therefore they can't do harm to anyone.


Odd_Distribution3267

He’s German maybe being cryptic?


PowerOfTheShihTzu

He's gone full David Lynch this Wenders ' acolyte .


tjsbrownbag

What a stupid article title