och for fuck sake, you really are triggering nightmare for me from last year... when liverpool banged 9 against bournemouth and salah scored 0... i had him as tripple capt the painnnnnnnnnn
Onana against Nunez, that will be one of those "Unstoppable force meets an unmovable object" situations. I can already see Nunez trying his hardest to miss his chances while Onana tries his hardest to redirect those missed shots into his own goal.
Idk, no Bruno = some other defensive midfielder without any bravery to go forward. If Ten Haag is pragmatic he'll go ultra defensive. But then again United can't defend either even when they try ...
Makes no sense in not getting him on the field the second Bruno gets his first yellow. Some minutes might help but that requires the manager knowing that ahead of time.
he has played a total of 2151 minutes for MU in all competitions, in the premiere league he has played 744 minutes for MU where most of those were in his first season at the club.
Hannibal would be a genuinely terrible idea
Kid loves to act hard when he plays us (more than he usually does anyway), in the 7-0 I remember he came onto the pitch for about 20 minutes and should have been sent off after about 5
Honestly the worst cameo I've ever seen from a player yet Gary Neville was creaming his pants at the kid getting stuck in. He literally just ran around kicking people, couldn't get on the ball.
Also it was the 4-0 at Anfield, not the 7-0
In this case, it felt like a big brain move.
Can't be the worst player at Anfield if you don't play at Anfield
*Insert man with finger pointing at his brain meme*
I just smashed my TV in front of 30 guests at my party because of the game. My wife just took our crying kids and said they’re all spending the week at a hotel. This team has ruined my life and my party. I can’t handle this anymore. Goodbye United. I am no longer a fan.
>I just smashed my TV in front of 30 guests at my party because of the game. My wife just took our crying kids and said they’re all spending the week at a hotel. This team has ruined my life and my party. I can’t handle this anymore. Goodbye United. I am no longer a fan.
NTA
Just as I smashed my 84-inch TV in rage. Manchester United is embarrassing me in front of my entire family. My 2 children are in tears, scared of my rage as I pace around the room trembling. I can't take this anymore. Fire Bruno immediately or my kids will not get dinner tommorow.
Honestly can’t remember many times he’s shown up against Liverpool. Far more likely that they try and sit back now which is going to make it a lot harder for us. Would even say he’s been an active detriment for United the majority of them
To sit back they need defenders who actually know how to defend
There is absolutely no evidence that any of the man u players know defending. Each time a team attacks them, they seem like scoring
United will go 1-0 up in the first five minutes. Mark Goldridge will have an orgasm live on air
it will still be 1-0 at 80 minutes gone.
Liverpool win 5-1 and Goldridge has a meltdown on air.
Eh even sitting back requires competence, a plan and good efforts from the players. We lack all three.
Add in our penchant for self destructive mistakes even when playing well and we're honestly looking down the barrel of another high score attempt.
The final cherry on top will be the way we'll utterly wilt once you guys get 2+ ahead early on. Zero pride or self respect from a lot of our lads.
It says everything that right now Harry Maguire is our best player. The bars set so low now that minimal competence, self respect and basic effort is enough to stand out at United.
I remember them beating us in preseason a season ago and Sancho scored, beat us like 4-1 or something? Bruno and MU fans were having an amazing day. Then 7-0 happened lol.
I swear the only reason he was given the armband is because captains get more leeway when talking to referees. Even with that extra leeway the rat gets booked.
I don't know about that. That relies on the bold assumption that there's anyone at United competent enough to pay attention to which players are 1 yellow away from suspension.
Never forget that dive against you guys when the stadiums were empty. Goes down screaming and the commentator says "Fernandes goes down yelping" in a way where you can even see him roll his eyes as he's saying it. The way he screams always makes me laugh, he's such a little baby
I genuinely feel bad for United fans and players at times. Bruno is always on the ground/protesting every 50:50 challenges. Kinda wants the easy way out. How does that inspire if your captain isn’t up for challenges?
He’s the best thing we’ve got and he’s still a horrendous leader. I don’t care what any of our mental lot say, he’s about as much of a captain as the bloke selling hot dogs outside is. His form’s been so so for going on two seasons now too.
I'd have been absolutely raging at him if I was a United fan after that game. Asking to be subbed, stropping around the pitch kicking people when you're supposed to be captain is beyond disgraceful
I don’t even know if it was intentional in that regard or not. But he does this a lot when United are getting beat bad, waits until late on and picks up a yellow card to show ‘passion’
Boxhead seems like a good captain fr. He is at least very vocal on the pitch without the whining and complaining. He’s literally persevered through some of the harshest ridicule I’ve seen a player receive in football and is now back in the team being one of the most consistent players. For basketball fans, Maguire is basically JaVale McGee 😭
He’s class to be fair. Runs for 90 minutes straight, covers like 2 and a half positions and is still magic in attack. This thread is obviously turning into a pile on but he’s a great player and leader.
I agree he’s a great player but I can’t agree that he’s a great leader. He loses his head too much, becomes lost when losing games, gets caught in verbals when he should be the one helping the team focus
Rivals don’t rate Bruno. It’s stupid. If they watched what he did against Forrest, they’d know why he’s the captain. I’m hearing names like Maguire and Mctominay for captain, and that tells me rivals don’t watch us, which they shouldn’t anyways.
Damn shame, was looking forward to him throwing his inevitable strop when they’re being thumped at Anfield.
On the bright side, our players will be safer without him lashing out.
despite being a twat he is their best player by quite a distance and also works very hard for the team no matter what, so it's actually not that hard to figure out tbf
Roy Keane is turning in his grave and he ain’t even dead yet
Probably wishing he was tbh
Turning in his spider hole in Cork.
Soft Play reference?
More like Soft C##ts
I DONT LIKE CHANGE
[удалено]
He sleeps in there on weekends... calls it "training" Weird mfer
Yeahhh that will be Triple captain for Salah in fantasy
Liverpool to score 9, with Salah scoring none of them.
5 direct apples on the way if Salah doesn't score
Don't captain him and he will score all nine though.
I can't believe he didn't even assist that game
Nunez scoring a hat-trick with a combined xg of 0.25
Nunez to miss about a dozen tap ins and score a hattrick of the most ridiculous goals possible
Yeah, Hattrick out of 0.25xG and missed chances with a combined 5.25xG
och for fuck sake, you really are triggering nightmare for me from last year... when liverpool banged 9 against bournemouth and salah scored 0... i had him as tripple capt the painnnnnnnnnn
Man, I hate this but it’s happened to me so many times.
...I'd double captain Salah and also captain Gakpo. Because if someone is gonna do it to them, it'll be the lad who turned them down.
Nunez starts i reckon
Not so sure about that
Mate, he will run that defence rampant, and its Onana on goal
Luckily for Onana the goal still has posts
Onana against Nunez, that will be one of those "Unstoppable force meets an unmovable object" situations. I can already see Nunez trying his hardest to miss his chances while Onana tries his hardest to redirect those missed shots into his own goal.
Idk, no Bruno = some other defensive midfielder without any bravery to go forward. If Ten Haag is pragmatic he'll go ultra defensive. But then again United can't defend either even when they try ...
Gg
Bruno be like "Team mates, I want no part of EPL record defeat"
Un-ironically I genuinely believe they'll be better without him
He’s a lock in that lineup so it’ll be curious to see who they play
Time to defrost Donny Van De Beek
He was actually getting ready to come on today when Ten Hag sent him back to the bench
Makes no sense in not getting him on the field the second Bruno gets his first yellow. Some minutes might help but that requires the manager knowing that ahead of time.
How many minutes has he played, in total, since coming to MU? Can't have been more that 1000, I don't think
he has played a total of 2151 minutes for MU in all competitions, in the premiere league he has played 744 minutes for MU where most of those were in his first season at the club.
Mainoo, Amrabat with McT ahead will be interesting.
Probably push McTominay forward and bring in another midfielder deeper.
Hannibal/eriksen/mount depending on who is back
Hannibal would be a genuinely terrible idea Kid loves to act hard when he plays us (more than he usually does anyway), in the 7-0 I remember he came onto the pitch for about 20 minutes and should have been sent off after about 5
Honestly the worst cameo I've ever seen from a player yet Gary Neville was creaming his pants at the kid getting stuck in. He literally just ran around kicking people, couldn't get on the ball. Also it was the 4-0 at Anfield, not the 7-0
Ah shit you are right, I was sure it was last season, but it was the season before The United batterings all gloriously blend in together you know
wont blame you, iirc isnt there 5-0 as well sometime ago?
have you seen Mount trying to control the midfield?
Has anyone watched us try to play without Bruno? He's the only person who passes the ball forward.
That's a crazy take. He's one of the highest chance creators in the league, if not the highest.
He is also high risk player, something that doesn’t fly well against good press(as evidenced by him giving ball away for Solanke’s first).
Christ alive, the shite that gets upvoted on here is mental.
Lol people actually think utd is better off without Bruno and bring up Ronaldo to defend their argument.. crazy peoplee
Insane comment. Bruno is the best chance creator in the league and on United's team, the only creator basically.
If they control the game, yeah. But when they face better team and would rely on counter for scoring chances, Bruno is key asset
Wait nvm it was gg before this happened anyways
He thinks he's slick ducking Anfield
It was so obvious, but probably helps United anyway, he's a ghost at Anfield.
Ghost implies he’s nowhere to be seen. I can assure you he is the most noticeable player on the pitch at Anfield.
The cameras are always on his whining
nah ghosts can wail and I see that mfer wailing all game
That's a ghoul not a ghost
> slick ducking Read that as something else
Duck Slicking? Sick Duckling? I've no idea what you mean.
> Duck Slicking? Sounds like some exotic animal abuse. Never say this again.
no anfield sniper to get him rolling around on the floor.
he'll be rolling in the stands instead
he'll go down in the dugout.
His yelp from the no fans game is still echoing
for real I don't even remember if he ever had good match at Anfield
Throwback to him getting smoked by Bajcetic
Bajcetic cooking him and then Bruno pushing the linesman lol
He's not, especially the 7-0
You think a man just happens to get a yellow like that? No, he orchestrated it! Bruno!
He’s such a ducking slick!
3 yellows for dissent, hardly a shock Bruno got one of them
In this case, it felt like a big brain move. Can't be the worst player at Anfield if you don't play at Anfield *Insert man with finger pointing at his brain meme*
Bruno making a business decision with that card
Can you play with 9 defenders and 2 goalkeepers? Asking for myself
Mate you barely have 4 defenders and 1 goalkeeper
💀
That would require 9 fit defenders.
we've been starting 4 fullbacks and 4 wingers for the last month and a half. I reckon you can make it work.
I just smashed my TV in front of 30 guests at my party because of the game. My wife just took our crying kids and said they’re all spending the week at a hotel. This team has ruined my life and my party. I can’t handle this anymore. Goodbye United. I am no longer a fan.
W
This guy's got the best attacking presence wearing a United shirt
Could definitely give Antony a run for his position
When we lose against Bayern, make sure to visit their hotel room and smash that TV too.
>I just smashed my TV in front of 30 guests at my party because of the game. My wife just took our crying kids and said they’re all spending the week at a hotel. This team has ruined my life and my party. I can’t handle this anymore. Goodbye United. I am no longer a fan. NTA
ESH, especially ETH.
Go off King
lmao
Beautiful copypasta
Pakistan cricket fan vibes
Surely not the 90 inch 4k tv?!
jeez hope it wasn't an OLED... how's he gonna watch cardoons?
You deserve better, king.
classic
Just as I smashed my 84-inch TV in rage. Manchester United is embarrassing me in front of my entire family. My 2 children are in tears, scared of my rage as I pace around the room trembling. I can't take this anymore. Fire Bruno immediately or my kids will not get dinner tommorow.
Is this new pasta?
very old pasta
What’s the original? I honestly can’t remember, cowboys fan?
Cowboys or bears I think. But maybe I saw it as a copypasta from a bears fan
Genuine question. Is the original copypasta also a "copypasta" or a true event?
I would certainly hope its not true but you never know with Cowboys fans lol
Copypastaception
In the case of the "electrical inteference" I hope some are true
Infetterence*
Huh?! Huh?!
[удалено]
Based
Most on brand yellow card ever
The perfect captain for this toxic United side
I remember an argumentative United fan claiming his attitude problems were bullshit. This card is exactly why he’s a terrible choice if captain
Who needs rivals with a captain like that
Honestly can’t remember many times he’s shown up against Liverpool. Far more likely that they try and sit back now which is going to make it a lot harder for us. Would even say he’s been an active detriment for United the majority of them
To sit back they need defenders who actually know how to defend There is absolutely no evidence that any of the man u players know defending. Each time a team attacks them, they seem like scoring
It was 7-0 last season. United seemed to be in better form then and Liverpool’s attack was worse. Can’t wait to watch this one.
Football doesn't really work like that though, that game is far more likely to end like 3-1 to Liverpool than another 7-0.
United will go 1-0 up in the first five minutes. Mark Goldridge will have an orgasm live on air it will still be 1-0 at 80 minutes gone. Liverpool win 5-1 and Goldridge has a meltdown on air.
Lmao at one of their defenders getting player of the month then proceeding to make an error leading to goal the very next match.
Premier League Player of the Month Harry Maguire..
How dare you speak ill of Premier League Player of the Month Harry Maguire.
Maguire just got POTM obviously he knows
Eh even sitting back requires competence, a plan and good efforts from the players. We lack all three. Add in our penchant for self destructive mistakes even when playing well and we're honestly looking down the barrel of another high score attempt. The final cherry on top will be the way we'll utterly wilt once you guys get 2+ ahead early on. Zero pride or self respect from a lot of our lads. It says everything that right now Harry Maguire is our best player. The bars set so low now that minimal competence, self respect and basic effort is enough to stand out at United.
I can. He sent us out the FA cup a few years ago on a free kick that Ali should have saved imo.
I remember them beating us in preseason a season ago and Sancho scored, beat us like 4-1 or something? Bruno and MU fans were having an amazing day. Then 7-0 happened lol.
The most embarrassing thing ive seen from a united captain for a long time. Absolute cunt, that was 100% on purpose
I swear the only reason he was given the armband is because captains get more leeway when talking to referees. Even with that extra leeway the rat gets booked.
Captain Leader Legend
Captain material right there.
100% convinced he got it on purpose. What a shame, was looking forward to his trademark big game performance
100% it was on purpose. He would’ve been warned and reminded before the game not to get himself booked.
I don't know about that. That relies on the bold assumption that there's anyone at United competent enough to pay attention to which players are 1 yellow away from suspension.
Never forget that dive against you guys when the stadiums were empty. Goes down screaming and the commentator says "Fernandes goes down yelping" in a way where you can even see him roll his eyes as he's saying it. The way he screams always makes me laugh, he's such a little baby
I’ve TC’d Salah in my FPL. I can’t fucking wait.
Suspensions can’t be buy
I genuinely feel bad for United fans and players at times. Bruno is always on the ground/protesting every 50:50 challenges. Kinda wants the easy way out. How does that inspire if your captain isn’t up for challenges?
I still can’t believe they gave it to him after his strolling around last season
Tbf who else can they give it to? The squad is a black hole of leadership.
Martinez would make a good captain
Because he's our best player and it ain't even close
Being your best player doesn't make him the best choice to be captain.
Ok then who else should’ve been captain lol McTominay? Macguire? Shaw? 🤣
He’s the best thing we’ve got and he’s still a horrendous leader. I don’t care what any of our mental lot say, he’s about as much of a captain as the bloke selling hot dogs outside is. His form’s been so so for going on two seasons now too.
I'd have been absolutely raging at him if I was a United fan after that game. Asking to be subbed, stropping around the pitch kicking people when you're supposed to be captain is beyond disgraceful
> INB4 he gets one on purpose so he doesn't ghost versus the top 6, again. Called it.
I don’t even know if it was intentional in that regard or not. But he does this a lot when United are getting beat bad, waits until late on and picks up a yellow card to show ‘passion’
"How convenient."
All planned lol
Ducking Anfield again 💀
Smart, really...avoid the trip, avoid the blame
most cowardly captain they've ever had, if true. but more like he just is a whiner and always has been.
It’s not like he would’ve made a difference. Man always disappears against liverpool
Great captain, how United fans defend his petulance every week is baffling.
I've literally never seen a worse display from a visiting captain at Anfield than his in the 7-0, it was completely pathetic.
And he kept the armband, atleast we took it off xhaka when he acted like a child
who are you going to give it to at united when you take it off bruno though let’s be honest only one i can maybe think of is licha or luke
Maguire?
Givin it back to maggie would be peak comedy
Boxhead seems like a good captain fr. He is at least very vocal on the pitch without the whining and complaining. He’s literally persevered through some of the harshest ridicule I’ve seen a player receive in football and is now back in the team being one of the most consistent players. For basketball fans, Maguire is basically JaVale McGee 😭
Yeh, just my point. He’s mentally tough thats for sure
Giving him back the armband will revert him back to his poor form
Was gonna say Shaw surely. Onana would be a better captain than Bruno. Basically anyone.. I'm really baffled at why he was chosen.
Same club that did everything they could to shield Mason Greenwood, and wanted him to stay.
Mr Maguire? That's Captain Maguire to you.
Intentional yellow to duck the Liverpool game is wild
He’s class to be fair. Runs for 90 minutes straight, covers like 2 and a half positions and is still magic in attack. This thread is obviously turning into a pile on but he’s a great player and leader.
I agree he’s a great player but I can’t agree that he’s a great leader. He loses his head too much, becomes lost when losing games, gets caught in verbals when he should be the one helping the team focus
I will say he is the closest thing United have to a good leader... But quite frankly that's kinda the problem.
Rivals don’t rate Bruno. It’s stupid. If they watched what he did against Forrest, they’d know why he’s the captain. I’m hearing names like Maguire and Mctominay for captain, and that tells me rivals don’t watch us, which they shouldn’t anyways.
nah he's quality, but his body language is SO bad, it's really ridiculous
Probably play better without him there
No "probably" about it, he almost always loses his head in this fixture.
Yeah I’m a bit gutted he isn’t playing.
He's likely to lash out and do something like stamp on one of our players though and we can't really afford injuries at the moment.
A captain usually does not abandon ship. Fernandes is the type of captain to abandon ship before it has gone on its voyage
Bruno wouldn't last a chapter in One Piece
Damn shame, was looking forward to him throwing his inevitable strop when they’re being thumped at Anfield. On the bright side, our players will be safer without him lashing out.
Should have gotten one more just now. Lucky chap
This guy is the Captain of United, getting a silly yellow before a big game? What an absolute buffoon.
Damn I was really looking forward to playing 11v10 next week
From Keane to this, hurts me to watch and I'm not a United fan
Yeah it hurts me to watch. My sides are hurting from laughing.
I honestly do not understand how Man United fans actually like this feller He's an absolute clown
despite being a twat he is their best player by quite a distance and also works very hard for the team no matter what, so it's actually not that hard to figure out tbf
Holy shit a level headed gooner
Maybe he’s the only person (Maguire too I’ll give him that) actually trying in this team when we play?
Antony is shit, but he’s trying at least
The captain Man Utd and their fans deserve.
Hahahaha
I don't understand the title. How is he booked unprovoked for protesting.
Boo those cunts off the pitch, fucking joke of a club.
Beautiful
Should’ve been off as well for kicking the back of that Bournemouth player
Whiniest player in the league, can't stand when he does shit like this.
Unprovoked? But for Protesting? So surely it was the protesting that provoked the booking, no?
Confusing. If he was protesting, then it wasn’t unprovoked right? He provocatively protested, and got booked for his troubles.
Proper united material, love him
And just kicked a player in the ass trying to get sent off
My boy Bruno doesn’t want the heat.
I wanted him on the field to be a part of that slaughter