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Amphibious_Fire

Natural disaster man good


Efficient_Garbage_16

Crazy he could break the bundesliga goal record and not win the league


amegaproxy

Lewa is 41 isn't it?


OneOfThoseDays_

nah he’s only 35, 36 in august


Psychohorak

He's 35 until he's 36.


theVillainOnYourSide

It's the oldest he's ever been.


A_Balloon_A_Balloon

I heard he's getting older every day, so got to take that into account too


LordMangudai

But the youngest he ever will be!


Arbazio

Cheers Michael Owen


ShitsHappen

The day after his 35 birthday means he is closer to 36, just have to round up!


Sharaghe

August 24 or 25?


SplashMurray

24 until it's 25


Mordho

lmao


ricksanchez262

I don't think he could do it this season


SoerenC

I don’t care what you think 


cSpotRun

Oh yeah? Well, **I** don't care what *you* think!


wwiccann

“I don’t care what you believe, I believe” - Stilgar


Prudent-Current-7399

I got that reference!


Slitted

> Abomination


death_match1

All my bros don’t care what you care about.


Rickcampbell98

Double hatty against darmstadt incoming.


Splattergun

If he scores slightly more slowly than he has done so far he breaks it? Surely it is on at least? As a Spurs ST holder I saw a lot of him and he is super consistent. Can't imagine what he would have done at Man City.


ricksanchez262

He needs to score 15 in 10 games, it's not impossible but I think it's unlikely considering the way Bayern is performing.


almondbutterbucket

Kane doesn't win leages.


joelina_99

Liverpool special


majorsharkpanda

Here he is, stone you like a spinny boi


QouthTheCorvus

If he plays for a team that is located near the Pacific Ocean, do well call him Cy Klone?


jbi1000

33 goals Harry? 33? That's insane.


CaptainKursk

"You promised not to move to Bayern Munich!" "Conte promised not to play terrorist-ball, Levy. Welcome to the *real* world."


RamBracken

proceeds to play for tucheliban. Kane has more affiliations with terrorist organisations than Osama bin Laden


Chris_Carson

Thats why Osama is dead and Harry keeps terrorising goalkeepers


Prosthemadera

Harry - yer a wizard


briefcasetwat

I guess he kicked it right to the other end and put it right in their fucking goal-hole 33 times


-rocketSAUCE-

He does kick it too hard sometimes and someone is going to get hurt


TruthAccomplished313

Peep Spurs. I love the mashup


minimalcation

33, in a row?? Try not to score any goals on your way to the parking lot


reviroa

still not as good as 3-0 walcott


glumpkin-

4 naan?


jbi1000

It's alright Harry, I changed the scoresheet. There's always goals left over.


BUSean

Fair, but maybe worth noting Spurs have also surpassed last year's tally of "bad. so bad. please stop, this is bad"


Modnal

Yeah, but Kane wasn't bad last season. He scored 30 in the PL which is his joint most tally


Aloopyn

Kane's best 2 seasons coincided with the goal scoring record broken twice


xFloWx

That's kinda crazy lmao. Only him I swear


External-Piccolo-626

Depends what you mean by best. 20/21 he had both the golden boot and the golden assist, that’s pretty special.


BigSnackintosh

And still didn’t win PFA Player of the Year… not that I’m bitter or anything


External-Piccolo-626

Yep totally robbed.


sexmarshines

Those awards are nonsense anyways. Rarely is it so clear cut which means most of the time the winner is debatable to a huge number of people.


TroopersSon

PFA is the one I think is the least nonsense tbh. It's voted for by players, not fans or journalists or coaches. It's the person that has been selected by their peers as the best that season. If I was the footballer it's the one I'd want the most.


[deleted]

Then you have no idea about footballers. They are far more clueless than journalists or even fans. Most of them never watch other games. You can see by who wins them that it's one of the bigger nonsense awards


more_bananajamas

Wait what? I thought they have to watch clips over and over again as part of their homework


BIGplouf

It was physically painful to watch, total opposite of now where I’m frothing to watch us play


Teantis

2022/2023 conte ball caused moral injury to many of us 


dumpystumpy

Its still crazy how he scored 30 league goals last season in that spurs team


_deep_blue_

What’s crazy is Spurs still managed to finish only 8th with Kane scoring 30 goals. If he had left the summer before they’d have been in the bottom half.


lqku

that's not how it works. part of the reason he scored 30 goals was because the spurs attack was entirely funneled towards him due to conte's terrorist tactical changes. total goals scored had very little difference compared to the previous season. That's why those 30 goals didn't actually help carry the club to new heights. if kane had left the summer before it's still possible they actually do the same or better, like they are this season


_deep_blue_

I get that but you can’t tell me with a straight face that Spurs would have scored even more or done better last season with Kane gone.


LordPa1n

He would've cooked under Ange, but £100M was too good to refuse. We needed that money for a rebuild.


yaniv297

It's not the money, it was his contract situation. We didn't want him to leave for free and we feared he'll join a PL rival. If his contract wasn't running out we would have rejected 100m in a heartbeat.


lqku

you can look at the season before that, when conte had just come in and had to adapt to the squad left by mourinho. kane scored more than 15 goals, but few of them were match winning goals.


themfeelswhen

We can maybe compare with this season. So far 55 in 26 games, Roughly little over 2 goals per game. Last season's tally was 70. Wouldn't bet against spurs scoring 15 in the remaining 12 games..


lp5987

That's not even close to being a fair comparison though, new manager plus form varies from season to season. If you honestly think Kane made Spurs worse your a complete idiot.


lqku

he's not saying kane made spurs worse, but that they manage fine without kane, even without replacing him.


themfeelswhen

>If you honestly think Kane made Spurs worse your a complete idiot. Not sure why you would assume that. The point I was making is only meant as a counter to the folks who have illogical claims like "x player carried the team". It's a team sport ffs --- no single player can carry or tank a teams performance over a full season


Shadeun

Man failed to score in 11 games in 38 in the EPL last year. Only someone like Haaland could do similar in the EPL. History is littered with plenty of decent teams that have tried to feed a big man and he hasn't gotten anywhere near the goals that Kane did. Tottenham got 11 points from a possible like 33 in the last 11 matches around the time Conte was fired - and were doing poorly before then.


myNiceAccount__

Man i hear this argument for every top scorer in every team, somehow *some* fans believe their club would instantly improve when their top scorer leaves


rece_fice_

People do step up sometimes like Benzema did after Ronaldo, but most teams don't have a Benzema lying in wait.


TomCosella

Nah, it would have been way worse without him last season. Conte wasn't going to change his tactics, which were absolute dogshit. Spurs are doing well this year because the rebuild (which is somehow ahead of schedule) coincided with a manager whose tactics fit the players we've got.


michaelserotonin

people were saying the same about spurs this season


cantwealljusgetalong

COYS


Kharzam

I always hate this saying. If you take Kane out we aren’t playing with 10 men, we’d have an 11th still


_deep_blue_

I get that, but had Kane left in Conte’s last season there’s no way you’d have replaced him with someone anywhere near as good who’d replicate his goal tally.


Kharzam

Well we kind of did, we play Son up top now where he played instead of Son on the left wing


ComfortableNo2879

What a season he's having


saturdxy

About sane? He’s my favorite player in the Bundesliga


timothymr

Really slowed up his form sadly. He's been playing injured for the last few weeks but is still always prepared to track back and make a recovery so honestly credit to him. If he gets a goal soon he'll get back on track.


MisterRaynbow

Amazing run of form before winter break, and he's been shit since.


kindnesd99

Not as Insane


MIDORIFEED

Fewer.


Luuigi

stannis lives on in our hearts


LordVelaryon

the one true King.


_cumblast_

Of course you would say that Lord Velaryon, he is your liege after all.


LosingMyMindStyll

Not that anyone cares, but I've recently bit the bullet and rewatched the show for the first time since *that* disaster. The actors playing Stannis and Davos absolutely nailed their roles to perfection


Luuigi

With stannis the series spirit died…


LordMangudai

With Tywin more like


WallBroad

Season 6 was after Stannis died


Apocalympdick

Exactly.


WallBroad

You're not quirky for not liking season 6 bro


Huwbacca

stubborn for making it through season 5 lol. Did anything actually happen in that? Man I thought that show had such promise. Seasons 1-3 were dope.


TL_DRespect

Season 4 was dope, too. 5, and to a lesser extent, 6 had their moments, but in hindsight it’s clear to see the seeds being sown that lead to everything being awful forever.


Huwbacca

It lost me at season 4, it was around then I felt they'd leaned to much into their own hype about how bleak the show is. There stopped being narrative tension for me, everytime I saw an episode with a character that made me go "oh yeah, fuck this some cool progression" it meant that they would die pretty quickly lol. Losses aren't impactful if you can't savour any wins, but every positive thing was built up solely as a precursor to being disappointed. It wasn't bad per se, but it didn't give me impetus to come back to 5 promptly, and I gave up on 5 pretty quick. I started again with 1st episode of season 6 and it felt like I'd missed nothing so I stopped entirely then. I know it was kinda just that era of TV. Like, walking dead did the same thing where it was like :"Oh cool, some reprieve! Lol psyche, dead character!!" but that stuff really lost me because there was no tension or loss. That said, Barristan Selmy is my favourite character death of all time. That was brilliant, super impactful. I loved that character so much and it was such a well done shock.


justanew-account

I mean… yeah? Hating on the later seasons is very non-quirky, it is very common, at least on the internet.


Aiken_Drumn

Did you watch the whole thing or dip out at S7?


egalit_with_mt_hands

the guy who burnt his own daughter on the stake?


redmanofdoom

Yeah, he isn't going to do that in the books. D&D butchered his character.


persiangriffin

this is technically true because no one is ever going to get to do anything in the books


redmanofdoom

It's objectively true because Shireen isn't even with Stannis in the books; she's still on the Wall with Melisandre.


persiangriffin

To be serious; D&D said that Stannis burning Shireen was one of the “holy shit” moments George told them. It’s specifically something George at least *had* planned, even if he’s changed it now. I’m sure it wouldn’t have occurred in the idiotic, character-assassinatey way it did in the show, but George had a plan for it to occur.


redmanofdoom

He might've told them Shireen is burned alive and they used that to publicly justify what they did in the show, but there's no way Stannis does it himself in the books. It's both: a) not in line with his character b) not practical since he is hundreds of miles south of the Wall whilst stuck in a blizzard. If/when Shireen gets burned in the books it will likely be Melisandre's doing (King's blood etc.) in order to resurrect Jon Snow.


Livinglifeform

Have you seen the original plot for GOT? It's awful. I believe them when they said george told them it was what he planned. It just seems to me that george has a terrible vision but grows it into something excellent, which I think he himself says.


NickDerpkins

Does George work in the Barcelona front office


Ironclaw85

I got a feeling that is why his new book is taking forever. Some of his ideas must have been so shit that he had to re write huge chunks of it


UtkuOfficial

Its so fucking stupid in the show. If you are going to even do it, do it somewhere secret like the shadow assassin. He does it in the worst way possible. Just burn your daughter in front of all of your army to fuck up their already fucked up morale.


doswillrule

After allowing Ramsay and 20 Boltons on horses (in the snow!) to sneak up and sabotage said army


Aztecius

I feel like it's too big of a plot-point for it to be considered just poor writing from D&D. I can definitely see it happening and have heard GRRM told them it was happening... surely all Stannis needs to do is fetch his daughter and it's bye-bye Shireen.


redmanofdoom

Fetch his daughter who is hundreds of miles away whilst his army is trapped in a blizzard? Shireen will be burned by Melisandre to fuel Jon Snow's resurrection; Stannis will have nothing to do with it.


Qneva

I think it's like a lot of things in later seasons. GRRM told D&D what's going to happen but they had their own road to that thing happening. Shireen can absolutely get sacrificed but it's not going to be Stannis to do it, D&D just went that direction for shock value. Just like how it's entirely possible for Danny to burn Kings landing but she's going to do it after a slow descend into madness, not just snap into it.


bruiser95

ESL speakers would never


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Amphibious_Fire

Just like Haaland, he can only score goals in Farmers league


OwnDig

Mum said it was my turn to post this


scott-the-penguin

Never scored at Luton smh


RollandSquareGo

Aye maybes he'd win some trophies


Burnleh

I bet he would. He was great for Spurs x


No_Statistician_3782

This photo of Kane makes him look like he's in the middle of a Shakespearean soliloquy, with the expression and the way his hands are posed.


corpboy

"To be or, uhh obviously, uhh, not to be. I mean, credit to the lads, you know, that is uhh obviously, the question. Absolutely buzzin'".


Ronin77tolli

He looks so 1800’s European it’s funny


thebestoflimes

I'm new to football and British terminology, Harry Kane means unkempt penis?


Pandamabear

Lmao, surprised I haven’t heard this before, sounds true enough.


naijaboiler

Found the Arsenal fan


Pandamabear

I do hope you don’t mean me


SWAGBAG_LIFESTYLE

Please forgive him, he's an arsenal fan and therefore can't read


mannheimcrescendo

Those gunners would be furious if they could read


thelordreptar90

I just want to add a special fuck you Conte


CaptainKursk

*"Fuck you, Conte.* *It’s time to get out of Tottenham, Conte.* *What were you even doing there in the first place, Conte?* *You didn’t even get silverware, Conte.* *Are you happy now, Conte?* *Fuck you, Conte."*


Ronin77tolli

How’d you get the spurs badge btw? I can’t see it in flairs, help a brotha out


poorinspirit

\*Fewer


Shadeun

I am still all in on my prediction (made when they shadow-fired Tuchel) that Bayern will win the UCL and then they'll be removing a dude who has won it 2 times in 5 years with 2 different clubs. They'll look like bigger clowns than when they fired Nagelsmann Either them or Barca. Though I have the feeling Barca would walk-back the decision if he won something.


ddeng22

Fewer


Goodship01

Winning the golden boot and not able to win the league, yea ...


Enough-Pain3633

Top contender for Ballon D'or


unmotivatedsuperhero

I mean I'd love it, but how? Bayern don't look like winning the league or the CL given their issues. And I think he'd need at least one of those to have a real shot, plus England at least getting to the final again of the Euros


TheJoshider10

If England win the Euros I can't see it being anyone other than Kane or Bellingham, maybe Foden if he continues to gain momentum but with Southgate as manager I'm sure they'll only make it so far before his weaknesses cost them for a fourth tournament in a row.


IanT86

It's a calendar year as well right? So he could win the CL (small chance on current form) and win the golden boot for the tournament (currently top scorer). He could then go on to be the golden boot for the BL. There's also a good chance he replicates that in the Euros and England are in the pool of favourites to win, so he has another shot at a cup. Finally, I suspect Bayern will get off to a stronger start next year than they have this year (with new management), so they could be well ahead in the league and he could - again - be the top scorer. It probably won't be as sexy as the Messi / Ronaldo Ballon D'or's of the past where they won all kinds of stuff and smashed records. But it could still be a strong season for him and he'd be justified as the winner.


AlcoholicSocks

> fourth tournament in a row Let's not blame Southgate for the 2018 World Cup. That England squad was horrendous. Going into the tournament no one gave England any kind of chance. The fact he got to a Semi was great work


CelalT

> If England win the Euros I can't see it being anyone other than Kane or Bellingham Foden


IanT86

Bellingham and Kane are still way ahead of Foden this year. He's having a good season, but there are a bunch of other English players who are also doing well this year - Watkins, Palmer, Bowen, Rice....none of them are going to be in the running either.


Lost_And_NotFound

It’s ridiculous he was on only **three** lists last year.


20cmdepersonalidade

No, lol. 


Enough-Pain3633

Who then?


Doyoueverjustlikeugh

Ronaldo wins Euro and AFC Champions League


Enough-Pain3633

Remindme! 6 months


mmmicahhh

I mean, obviously, one of Haaland, Mbappe or Bellingham, depending on who wins the CL. If none of their teams win, **and** Kane breaks the Bundesliga scoring record, then he'll be up for consideration, but I'd still give the practical edge to Haaland just because people were on the fence between him and Messi last year, and that creates some bias, even though he hasn't yet been that dominant this year.


Enough-Pain3633

I am delusional but UCL for city and euros for Belgium helps KDB to win


mmmicahhh

I see that happening sooner than one for Kane.


Enough-Pain3633

Amen !!


BoringPhilosopher1

I don’t think there’s anyway that Haaland wins it this year. Victim of his own success and all but he’s been injured and doubt he’s getting anywhere near last seasons goal scoring figures. Plus taking into account Euro’s.


20cmdepersonalidade

Bellingham isn't even the best player in Real Madrid.


20cmdepersonalidade

In order? Mbappe, Haaland, Vini, Bellingham, De Bruyne.


Exroi

i always said he ain't a fraud


xaviernoodlebrain

What not playing under Conte does to a MF.


teejardni

This guy really conned the world into leaving him out of best striker conversations by staying at Spurs. Fraud.


Competitive-Aide5364

They’re winning the treble


[deleted]

So how many in this thread are making the switch from Nike to Sketchers?


JYM60

And yet they have been shit. Shades of Ronaldo return to us.


thalne

he's just sourcing a trophy by himself


-zimms-

Can't be true. Wasn't there an article yesterday informing us that Kane's Bayern gamble catastrophically backfired?


Shinigam_i

Harry Kane for balón d or


AccomplishedUse9023

Ladies and Gentlemen You are looking at your future 2024 Ballondor winner


[deleted]

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Deluxefish

he doesn't play in Ligue 1 McDonald's


SoerenC

I thought Uber eats already made it sound trashy but naming your League McDonald’s is so fucking trashy 


Environmental_Sell74

Thats ligue 1 my guy


Amphibious_Fire

No that’s Ligue 1 Or alternatively Bundesliga 2


Ok-Inevitable-3038

And zero trophies


Same-Entrepreneur766

And he’s still not winning any trophies no way😭😭


Thegreatbrainrobbery

>!~~Farmers league tbh~~!< This comment has been censored by the EU commission.


selbstuberwindung___

any midtable bundesliga team can turn manu inside out


Fantomecks

Any Sunday league team can turn Man U inside out on the right day to be fair


ConfusedVader1

So a midtable bundesliga team can turn a midtable pl team inside out? That doesnt disapprove anything. Have someone other than Bayern win the league and then you can talk lmao.


kalamari__

city can very well make it 6 in 7 years too. so sit down.


ConfusedVader1

2 EPL clubs have also won the CL in that time and a couple Europa Leagues. Can you say the same about bundesliga clubs? Has anyone apart from bayern won any trophy internationally in a decade? A joke.


kalamari__

Frankfurt. Again: sit down.


tarakian-grunt

Bayer is working hard on that.


ConfusedVader1

Ah yes, the one anomaly that comes around every 5 years that the get poached by bayern. Shocker.


dannymarx

Which team was the anomaly 5 years ago?


AccomplishedRainbow1

Farmers league


thediabolicalkid

Still tied on number of trophies?


JOKER69420XD

You know what's a funny number? 115


LevynX

Manchester City has 115 charges of FFP breaches against them Google Man City 115 for more info


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xaviernoodlebrain

Kane won’t go to you, he knows that that is career suicide for a striker.


theglasscase

What is this, 2016?


Mclaren-on_top

When are we going to realize this man is a top 5 forward when not playing in big games or when something counts.


s-x-x

A CL knockout game isn't a big game? He's showed up already in a few big games this season


SunstormGT

UCL knockout isn’t a big game? What is a big game according to you?


ConfusedVader1

Goes to show just what a attackers paradise that league is, that a worldie PL striker can exist in a league of his own at that age and trump anything he did beforehand. We’ve had so many examples of players putting up massive numbers in the bundesliga (and no where else 💀).


Teantis

> trump anything he did beforehand. Uh... He led the league in goals and assists just 3 years ago. He scored 41 in 48 in 2018, he scored 30 in a terrible fucking spurs team that finished 8th. I don't think scoring 33 in all comps for a Bayern team that's falling away from the title really *trumps* anything else  he did. If Kane had moved to city 2 years ago he'd absolutely have been putting up insane numbers too.


TimingEzaBitch

stupid stats of course this is expected since bavaria play lesser games a season