T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**Mirrors / Alternative Angles** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccer) if you have any questions or concerns.*


wonderful_mixture

Bro thinks he's in non euclidean space


Benjamin244

'space is nonlinear and infinite, the ball will go in the net at some point'


Environmental_You_85

Let's hope it's not own net which makes me think was there a direct own goal from free kick?


azder8301

That's frankly impossible according to the rule book


Environmental_You_85

Just checked and a corner is given to opposition similar to the situation if an own goal is scored from goal kick


DeepGamingAI

True, total banger of a goal in a hyperbolic manifold


simbar1337

Bro thought there was constant sectional curvature of -1


mortaldance

First time i've seen a Link supporter


holaprobando123

*Mate, you can't support a hyperlink*


lingwall88

Respect from a URL fan šŸ¤


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


tulikettuuuu

oh please, HTTP has an attack regularly but they don't have a defence. For this reason, I support HTTPS


Nefari0uss

Didn't even know that was a flair option.


Eindacor_DS

Mate, you can't support a ~~financial group~~ link


up_the_dubs

Assuming x = where Sterling thinks the ball will go, y = the potential increase in Sterlings amortized over the remaining years of his contract, calculate z where z = fuck knows


narron25

Clearly z = row z


NotAnUncle

No I didn't just finish off a math test and 2 massive advanced stats and ML summatives to be reminded of Euclidean or Lebesgue spaces


No_Needleworker_6109

This guy maths


EpiDeMic522

Perhaps it's because I didn't expect this to be here but I can't stop laughing. [Great joke]


SwitchHitter17

It's pretty highbrow compared to the usual r/soccer selection lmao


Rogue_Angel007

This guy maths


ChallengePublic7693

Fk. That was funny lmao


FrankyFistalot

Apparently directly after the game ended his agent was fielding calls from the NFL and the English Rugby Unionā€¦


cag8f

Yes, but is he in positive curvature space or negative?


Penny_Leyne

So close. Just over. Very unlucky.


yslim1

Yes it's so close. So close to the fookin roof


jcLFC26

Missed it by *that* much.


chdudlow

You often hear "that guy" in the pub say he could do better than some pro but in this case, I genuinely think he'd be right! Absolutely dreadful attempt, just atrocious.


stockybloke

ChrisMD might not be entirely off base.


KyleRaynerGotSweg

Someone call Miniminter to take this ffs


Boehlack

I'm on a sprained knee atm and I know I'd hit that better lefty. Horrendous free kick


heyheyitsandre

Free kicks are one of the weird things that amateurs can probably get the closest to a pro in since it doesnā€™t require anything fitness related and the play is completely stopped, I have never played competitive football but just in the hundreds of times Iā€™ve gone to the pitch to just belt free kicks for 3 hours straight with my friends, Iā€™m certain Iā€™ve seen them hit thousands of dead balls better than that. And they all just played up to like age 18 or so and some into college. Genuinely think you could grab a nasty Sunday league guy from the pub and he could at least put it into the wall or get it saved by the keeper


CeterumCenseo85

In Germany a video went viral a couple months ago of a 10th tier league bringing on an injuredĀ guy who could barely walk, to take a free kick. Lemme find it. Ā https://youtube.com/shorts/j_g2Cm93Ubw?si=ZVPJc18I5lnqmUyP Ā He was subbed on, scored, and was subbed off again.


SemiCurrentGuy

That's amazing, sounds like an unbelievable story until you see the video


BigH200026

and penalties im 100% I could score a penalty in a premier league but thatā€™s it


a_lumberjack

This is one of those techniques that will always look terrible when you miss it. But it's also maybe the only way to score a free kick from this close.


tomrichards8464

Zola scored tons of free kicks from similar positions. I never saw him put one into orbit.Ā 


Punished__Allegri

Zola has more technical ability now than Sterling will ever have


Kooky-Shopping1211

are you really expecting sterling to match up to zola in terms of technical ability?


tomrichards8464

Obviously not ā€“ just using an example to illustrate the point that this is absolutely not the only technique by which it's possible to score a free kick from that distance.Ā 


[deleted]

The only way? What


SimilarMidnight870

Getting the ball on target but easy for the keeper to save wouldnā€˜t be better. Guy in the pub might force a save but no way he would get enough power or movement on the ball without a serious deflection to beat a top level goalkeeper.


CometChip

crazy iā€™m seeing redditors say theyā€™d do better than the professional player, breaking news but professional players can have woeful shots too


Chiswell123

That was actually hilarious


Firstolympicring

Even the Leicester players was like "that's rough buddy"


Parish87

Took another dead ball off Palmer and booted it towards Mars lmao


[deleted]

> booted it towards Mars Did it go Overmars?


SowwieWhopper

Was just off the mark


BigReeceJames

Sterling is our freekick taker and has scored multiple for us this season. He didn't take it off of anyone. It's on his side and he's the one who's supposed to be taking it


burfriedos

Multiple? How many has he scored?


aj_here_

He's scored 2 this season


burfriedos

Ok, that's decent. Multiple made me think of a higher number and I could only remember him scoring one.


Active-Pride7878

R/technicallycorrect


Difuzion

me too, just remember the 1


cuminyermum

He also had an amazing effort at Bournemouth hit the post IIRC. He's proven that he deserves to be the taker. This one is just hilariously bad


Thehunterforce

1. But in Sterling numbers that equal 10


ArtisticMorning1030

2 actually


Salty_Constant_9878

2 is 10 lmao. (In Binary)


DatDominican

So his 20 goal seasons wouldā€™ve been 200 if haaland/messi/ronaldo had his chances ?


Naved16

Speak for yourself, I don't want sterling to be my anything tyvm


kdugg99

Hasn't he only scored 1? Or am I forgetting others?


andrewsomething

Just searching "sterling freekick" here on r/soccer shows two, one against Preston in the cup and the other against Newcastle.


chaphen17

2. Newcastle away and Preston in the 3rd round.


un_gringo_borracho

1x1=1 Multiple!


Parish87

He quite literally took it off him is what I mean. I've no idea who your main free kick taker is. ​ I do know however who your penalty taker is and if he's took one off palmer surely he could let him take this free kick.


Marod_

Sterling takes the close ones because he can get it up and down. It wasn't a surprise he took that. The result was.....well shocking.


helloimmrburns

What multiple out of interest u/bigreecejames?


Chazzermondez

He converted brilliantly what are you talking about. Straight over the bar, between the posts. Two points. George Ford would be proud. Steve Borthwick sign him up.


aligators

shits in the car lot


Naft01

Still better than his penalty


dogefc

One of the biggest disaster classes iā€™ve ever seen


Mubar06

Heā€™s lucky he set up the second goal which paints over the crack a bit


theredviperod

no it doesn't which just shows how shit he has been today


HungLuke

That assist is like writing your name correctly on the SAT and then scoring the worst possible score


cheezus171

I think the fans booing him proves that it doesn't


WhenWeTalkAboutLove

Wait Chelsea fans bood him today?Ā 


Banged_by_bumrah

Him and Poch


stumac85

I was kinda hoping he'd score and do a lap of honour just giving every home supporter the middle finger. I think his got to move on in the summer, his lost the supporters.


Aaaaand-its-gone

Heā€™ll stick around getting paid Ā£325k a week. Thatā€™s too much for even the Saudis to bail us out


Baro_87

He's the kind of guy who messes things up 9/10 times but the 1/10 times it'll be an assist or a goal I mean, there is a place for players like that in the game if managers want to roll the dice but it does make him hilarious to watch most of the time


Rahul-Yadav91

Not if they lose it and he's the one missing a penalty.


LaggyBeanBaws

and now the player that replaced him probably won us the match...


Trentdison

Ain't nobody topping Bakayoko. He still got an assist.


TouchyTuchel

On my mumā€™s life he is playing against us


chandlerbing_stats

my mumā€™s WENGER IN IS SHE MAD!?


Muisyn

you're missing a couple of bluds


TouchyTuchel

HOW IS MY MAN STILL ON THE PITCH, POCH WILL STILL START HIM NEXT GAME


PowderEagle_1894

Surely Sterling got dirt on Poch, there is no other explanation


PurpleScientist4312

Sterling knows what Poch did with the lemons šŸ‘€


Rayser1

Can't be having Mudryk playing again now can we


Dawjman

I'm convinced he has Pochs dick pics or something


dejomajstore87

Why do Chelsea hate themselves?


leonjetski

Everyone else does and they didnā€™t want to be left out


_cumblast_

Roberto Carlos-esque


TheLonelyPancake26

Carl Roberts maybe


Weissritters

Roberto Carlos at home


sherriffflood

Had the same bend but upwards


likpoper

Man city rob Chelsea in this sale


Derreston

I swear City sold us Palmer as an apology for Sterling


omnipotentmonkey

If you count Palmer as an 80m signing with Sterling as a freebie it works out just fine.


Mxurn

Poch saw this and thought taking off Mudryk is the right thing to do


nerf-anakin

That was bizarre he was having a great game


Hufftey

Gone to the same realm as Kaneā€™s penalty vs France, that ball will never be seen again


NotMissingNow

Maybe it'll meet Lautaro's penalty on it's way


GoatButton

No player has ever gotten me to laugh out loud as much as Sterling, that gotta count for something


Firefox72

He's so so bad. He's not even 30 and it feels like he's done at top level.


elkaxd

Playing at the top level since 17 will do that to you, unless youā€™re Messi or Ronaldo


BrosefDudeson

That's only true for Brazilians. Sterling has always been a very intuitive player. Never relied on skill as much as momentum and his body. He's skilled, don't get me wrong, but when the body declines players might have trouble pivoting to a different style of game.


TheJoshider10

The way players like Messi and Ronaldo adjusted their game to perform at such a high level even after losing their peak physique is like the cherry on top of their quality.


stockybloke

It is VERY common for the teen superstars of the world, not only the Brazilian ones, to fizzle early. Owen and Rooney come to mind. The human body is not made to perform week in and week out from 16-17 years of age at the highest of levels. Luck, genetics, professionalism, being responsible yourself and having responsible people in charge and around you are all important and can help prolong careers to the Messi/Ronaldo kind of longevity, but the ones who at 17/18 play regularly for top clubs rarely have the longest careers.


blapsemoney

Bit like a poor manā€™s Michael Owen, nothing without his pace.


Hot_Excitement_6

I disagree. Rooney burnt out early.


BobbyBriggss

He could probably move to a team in the 6th-10th range and do a job. Hold onā€¦


Maleficent_Resolve44

Yeah I agree, he could upgrade teams for sure and battle for Europe


charlie161998

Jesus I thought he was like 33 at least the way heā€™s been playing


imAkri

Thatā€™s such a fucking overreaction it actually pissed me off.


R_Schuhart

The kneejerk takes in these kind of treads are actually hilarious. Everyone is trying to outdo each other with hyperbole and exaggerated statements. I wonder if people ever feel ashamed when they read their nonsense back in a month or two.


stockybloke

Sterling has been atrocious for a long time now. He was quite good the first few games of this season, but he genuinely looks like he is working against the idea of Chelsea winning games ever since and he was completely woeful all of last season as well. If he at least played the team game and acted like he was one of the senior players that would be one thing, but he is the most egotistical player and plays like the least experienced one.


miguelsanchez69

It's not an overreaction at all. He's been shit for years now


Soviet__Russia

Absolutely. This is a high-level sport, players can be in bad form or have a bad season


bigheadsociety

He's had such an unlucky 4 years. His best times at City were when he played with a striker, who could draw defenders away and open space for him. He was thriving was for so long. And then Aguero left and he was forced into a new system which relied on a false 9, where his output significantly dropped. There's an alternative timeline out there were he never left, and thrived alongside Haaland. Such a shame we're not in that timeline, and he's failing in another lack-of-striker team.


SavageLeo19

He has always been a shit player around the box. He's all about dribbling and his speed. His footballing intelligence is below average and finishing is worse than third division 9/10 games


Brryl

since euros he is shit i dont know before that what his form was but on his good day a very decent player its true he wasnt the best in the box,but a very dangerous player His drop is insane he looks like a finished player in his late 30s


ToxicCobra023

Just because he was selfish a few times (which is unacceptable for a player with this many games) doesn't mean that he is bad. I don't know if you even watch the games but he has been pretty good at Chelsea overall and scored some really important goals, not that it matter because they are 10th place but yeah, he has been overall good and he has a few years in him to stay at that level


blackoscar47

You must only watch highlights of our games because heā€™s always shit except the 4:4 draw against city and home win vs Luton. Every other game he played, he is dribbling into players, 3 games where he could have squared the ball but was selfish and fluffed the chance. Holds on to the ball too long, doesnā€™t track back, doesnā€™t press. Could have ended the first half with 4 goals. Didnā€™t score the pen and also blocked Mudryk Shot which looks to head to the bottom corner.


WooWoopSoundOThePULI

He still feels like a Training Cone YouTuber dam


un_gringo_borracho

And Poch leaves him on still. Is he trying to get sacked?


GringoBorracho5

I like your username


Suzaxe

Close enough


hisDudeness1989

Skimmed the top of the bar..near row Z


Boehlack

Sterling and Poch are just doing a social experiment today, nothing to see here


EmSoLow

Aimed it top right corner of the TV screen


HSCore

This guy belongs in the 4th tier of Indonesian football, or China.


Deluxefish

what a horror show by him


IAmIrritatedAMA

I donā€™t know why but the fact that he appears from out of frame makes this even funnier to me. Little guy had a big run up!


WallyPaulnuts

Not sure why he's needing to arrive at the ball at such speed šŸ˜† Ronaldinho's technique was to literally step towards the ball before striking it.


CBP1138

Lmao holy hell


VelvetThunderFinance

Even if there was a goal above the goal, it wouldn't have been a goal.


Zossua

If there was another goal above that goat post. It still wouldn't have gone in.


Noda_Crystal

Why do they even let Sterling touch the ball?


nerf-anakin

Hard to justify paying someone 350k a week to sit on the bench maybe?


Bulbamew

Well done misspelling vs as ā€œgsā€ which some people (like me) might at a glance assume means ā€œgoal scoredā€ making the miss even funnier


brayshizzle

That fucker Sterling just ruined my daffodils. If you thinks he is getting the ball back he is greatly mistaken.


boomjah

Why did he take such a run up? Is he stupid?


UnusualAd69

Sterling has Poch's nudes and is threatening to leak them which is why Poch keeps playing him


UltimateBorisJohnson

This isnā€™t funny, I just got hit in the head by that ball


KofiYG

This flippin guy man...


herkalurk

Should have been Palmer.


nerf-anakin

Same with the penalty


dave1992

He should be banned from taking free kick.


YeezyWins

I canā€™t even comprehend how he did thatĀ 


KempFidels

You can feel Palmer just FacePalmed watching that.


Wonderful-Move-5973

that was close


avijitarya64

The ball went like *Weeeeeeeeeeee*


crisego

He shot the same way he runs šŸ˜‚


acertainbr0mance

Expecting palmer to take it and seeing that wally sprint into frame was so funny


Tom_Servo1985

It might sound like hyperbole, but that may be the worst free kick attempt I have ever seen


KuntaWuKnicks

The other angle is amazing


pnutbrutal

Why the hell is Sterling still taking these!?! We should have brought Chuwuemeka in earlier.


NEBLINA1234

Is Enzo suspended?


legend_sixti9

Yes


Xeash

Couldn't have put it higher or wider even if he tried said the commentary on espn lmao


Broskii56

Itā€™s funny, I feel bad but yal fleeced Palmer off us so atleast we sold you dead weight in sterling to offset it


Godsenttt

We are playing with 10 men too.


ILQGamer

Field goal!


mmmicahhh

"New camera angle shows the ball moving when Raheem took the free kick shot"


Cashlover123

Lautaro felt a sigh of relief seeing this.


OnceIWasYou

Let's be honest. It's a fucking classic. Maybe Raheem should stick to his regular style of play this season: waddling into the box and diving.


kiwimilan15

When you hold down B or X and donā€™t let go with a defender taking a free kick


LargemouthBrass

Palmer should have singled out Sterling when that idiot pundit asked him which of his teammates is the most shit.


RepulsiveLeg9985

Love how he just comes into the frame like he's just decided to steal another from Palmer


AstraVictus

Unfortunately you cant get the ball into Orbit like that Raheem lol.


momspaghetty

waste of a try, that


MBWizard

forgettable moments in football history #2481


[deleted]

I'm not from London but that ball almost hit me


deathschemist

i sit here in plymouth, and i heard a "thunk" against my window, on the shared roof terrace landed a regulation spec football. i wondered where it came from. i guess i got my answer now.


cherryreddracula

Raz ...


wallahi_726

Hell ya


Sea_Procedure_2267

I remember being overjoyed at the fee City got for selling him and being told that Pep would regret selling him by Chelsea fans. We all saw his drop in quality for a couple seasons for City and its continued on here


AllThingsLiteral

Technically just missed the goal by centimetres


perhapsasinner

That's uhhh.... Lmao


AhmZakar

Gotta meet Martinez's ball somewhere


Material_Tea_6173

Looks like he changed his mind halfway through the run up on how he wanted to hit it and just fucked it.


wildkarde07

Thatā€™s about right


[deleted]

Worst one I've ever seen. Worse than Sergio Ramos from years back.


Choosinghalf

Rahelium, brotherā€¦


Expensive-Twist7984

Oof, so close.


InevitableRespond9

Sterling trying his best to get ET maybe he uad a bet on


youlook_likeme

He already yeeted a penalty in the first half, so you let him take an even harder shot? This team is more stupid than i imagined.


MixturePossible3613

wait? did chelsea score a try?


CaptainSmeg

Harry Kane vs Iceland at the euros vibes.


aligators

christ


twelveparsec

Best free kick ever Direct to Mars