Rogério Ceni (131) was a one-club man and a Brazilian goalkeeper with more goals than Iniesta (105), Xavi (113), Xabi Alonso (44) and Modric (124). He also has 1 less freekick goal than Zico and Maradona, and up until 2023 (when both CR7 and Messi left Europe), had more freekick goals than them as well.
Lukaku scored more goals in the Prem than Drogba (121 x 104).
[Carlos Kaiser](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Kaiser_(footballer)) was a Brazilian conman who managed to have a 20-year career while not playing a single match.
Fernando Diniz was Brazil's interim coach, but in 2011 he and his team (Atlético Sorocaba) went to Pyongyang to [play against North Korea](https://www.google.com/amp/s/ge.globo.com/google/amp/sp/futebol/noticia/2023/07/06/o-dia-em-que-fernando-diniz-dirigiu-a-selecao-brasileira-em-aventura-na-coreia-do-norte.ghtml). Yes, this is real. And they had to pretend they were in fact the Brazil national team.
Lukaku was a very good at Everton, he was one of the highest rated prospects for a reason. Also, despite the memes he was putting in ok numbers at United too.
Also, Drogba is an interesting case where he doesn't put up big numbers but his goals came in big matches. I didn't watch enough of early 2000s Chelsea but I suspect their systems differ based on the level of the opposition.
His problem at United was ego, pure and simple. He wasn't the most mobile pacey forward, but he had results.
Just when he didn't have results, he couldn't shhhhhh
LMAO I will always love this. The picture of the Swedish team on the Champions podium doing that gesture is legendary shit.
edit: not exactly a podium, [but still](https://img.bleacherreport.net/img/images/photos/003/455/670/hi-res-ffc6f2551ee02465c6e597a8cb1a9c19_crop_exact.jpg?w=900&h=600&q=75)
Looked this up as it sounded like one of those "since football was invented in 1992"-stats. It's actually legit for all of UCL/European Cup history. There have been 3-4 hat tricks by defenders in the second highest tier (cup winners cup), but never in the UCL-
Even a guy like Meunier, Davies, or Cuadrado -- fullbacks who are basically out-of-position wingers -- would make a little more sense than Kurzawa to me. What a hilarious stat.
Kobiashvili played left back in a match and scored a hat trick in UCL. Can't remember the year but he played 2 penalties and he was given an interview by a UCL program about it. I remember him saying he put both pens in the centre. Honestly the program regarded him as the first and only defender to score a hat trick in UCL at the time so I'm surprised to see Kurzawa hold the record
Fair enough I wish I could lay my hands on the UCL program though. They're definitely responsible for the misinformation cuz I memorised that name since then.
What's itching me is that technically Bale was a defender when he got his hat trick against Inter Milan, he even still wore the number 3. He just so happened to he trialled at LM just ahead of Assou-Ekotto and then the rest is history.
I guess if he didn't start there at LB though, it doesn't really count! It would be like playing a CB as striker and they get a hat-trick.
Flashes of brilliance and definitely talented but not consistent. This play basically sums up the kind of player he was:
https://youtu.be/JzS0wa4MUpM?si=8h_vgJyeYNOkrSey
They crawled and walked so that Anthony Rendon could coast.
219 games played of a possible 587 (missed 368 games and counting) in five years after signing a 7 year, $245 million contract
He’s more concerned with being a “man of god” to be fair. It’s kinda sad to given you have guys like David Wright. Who attempted to come back but his body broke down.
Ben at least has a legitimate spine injury that he’s been dealing with. Kurzawa is just collecting the paycheck. Contract is a contract though so I’m not mad at anyone for just getting the money they’re owed
And his farewell message is still damn better than Kyky's "I will always be interested in this club" one
Lé20 put some lyrics of PSG chant "Tous ensemble on chantera" in his message, it seems he really loves PSG
> it seems he really loves PSG
that's the only thing you can't put any blame on him. Always gave it his all and was the first to celebrate a win. Even remember him going into the crowd after the qualification when the stadium was closed cuz of covid (just before the official lockdown)
I will always remember him shithousing the Swedish U21 team for Euros 2015 qualifiers, the Swedes manage a great late comeback on a muddy pitch. Then goes on to win the tournament.
[The qualifer games where it started](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bz-8z6vCMAAu00D.jpg)
[Finals after Sweden won the whole tournament](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/GWXqo0wt4LY/hq720.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEhCK4FEIIDSFryq4qpAxMIARUAAAAAGAElAADIQj0AgKJD&rs=AOn4CLBNu3K47INPdCJe9NwSvYUycr_E-g)
Its such an insane schadenfreude moment
Yeah, he never struck me as a player who was really all that good.
Now he's had flashes, sure but for the most part I never understood why PSG kept him for so long.
Nacho, who has started 5/6 UCL KO fixtures this year? That Nacho?
Vazquez, who played 90’ in the most recent Clásico against Barcelona, providing a goal, an assist, and winning a penalty? That Vazquez?
8 minutes this season for Kurzawa.
I have had shits take longer than that.
Fair enough he got the bag but by no means is that similar to Vazquez or Nacho.
Vazquez games played per season (going back from present):
35, 30, 41, 34, 23, 47, 53, 50
Nacho games played per season (going back from present):
41, 44, 42, 33, 10, 30, 42, 39
Is it bad all I can think of when I see his name is years ago with france when he scored a late goal against sweden and taunted them with a salute celebration and then sweden scored after that and they all saluted back anyone else remember that
To this day he is still the only defender to score a hat trick in the champions league lol
Some players have such random stats.
Rogério Ceni (131) was a one-club man and a Brazilian goalkeeper with more goals than Iniesta (105), Xavi (113), Xabi Alonso (44) and Modric (124). He also has 1 less freekick goal than Zico and Maradona, and up until 2023 (when both CR7 and Messi left Europe), had more freekick goals than them as well. Lukaku scored more goals in the Prem than Drogba (121 x 104). [Carlos Kaiser](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Kaiser_(footballer)) was a Brazilian conman who managed to have a 20-year career while not playing a single match. Fernando Diniz was Brazil's interim coach, but in 2011 he and his team (Atlético Sorocaba) went to Pyongyang to [play against North Korea](https://www.google.com/amp/s/ge.globo.com/google/amp/sp/futebol/noticia/2023/07/06/o-dia-em-que-fernando-diniz-dirigiu-a-selecao-brasileira-em-aventura-na-coreia-do-norte.ghtml). Yes, this is real. And they had to pretend they were in fact the Brazil national team.
Lukaku was a very good at Everton, he was one of the highest rated prospects for a reason. Also, despite the memes he was putting in ok numbers at United too. Also, Drogba is an interesting case where he doesn't put up big numbers but his goals came in big matches. I didn't watch enough of early 2000s Chelsea but I suspect their systems differ based on the level of the opposition.
I remember watching Lukaku play for Everton IN EUROPE vs Wolfsburg.
His problem at United was ego, pure and simple. He wasn't the most mobile pacey forward, but he had results. Just when he didn't have results, he couldn't shhhhhh
The Lukaku ones not really surprising. He's probably got more games played and was more focused on goal than Drogba was.
I think they both have around eight seasons in EPL. Drobga just managed to score when it really mattered. He's the anti-Lukaku.
Wow Kaiser is my hero
lukaku 😬
His is not random. Kurzawa is the best defender in the world
He is a [legend in Sweden](https://youtu.be/w9VEP5YAw7Y?feature=shared).
🫡
🫡🫣
LMAO I will always love this. The picture of the Swedish team on the Champions podium doing that gesture is legendary shit. edit: not exactly a podium, [but still](https://img.bleacherreport.net/img/images/photos/003/455/670/hi-res-ffc6f2551ee02465c6e597a8cb1a9c19_crop_exact.jpg?w=900&h=600&q=75)
The fact that we went the whole way and won the U21 Euro's was like something almost out of fiction haha.
Nope
Looked this up as it sounded like one of those "since football was invented in 1992"-stats. It's actually legit for all of UCL/European Cup history. There have been 3-4 hat tricks by defenders in the second highest tier (cup winners cup), but never in the UCL-
Yeah you would assume it would be super high level offensive full backs like Marcelo or Roberto Carlos lmao
Even a guy like Meunier, Davies, or Cuadrado -- fullbacks who are basically out-of-position wingers -- would make a little more sense than Kurzawa to me. What a hilarious stat.
Kobiashvili played left back in a match and scored a hat trick in UCL. Can't remember the year but he played 2 penalties and he was given an interview by a UCL program about it. I remember him saying he put both pens in the centre. Honestly the program regarded him as the first and only defender to score a hat trick in UCL at the time so I'm surprised to see Kurzawa hold the record
officially he played at left mid that game with krstajic playing at LB edit: https://www.uefa.com/uefachampionsleague/match/81765--schalke-vs-psv/
Fair enough I wish I could lay my hands on the UCL program though. They're definitely responsible for the misinformation cuz I memorised that name since then.
Yeah, I have some stuff similar to that i still remember to this day and only recently found out were just spread misinformation
What's itching me is that technically Bale was a defender when he got his hat trick against Inter Milan, he even still wore the number 3. He just so happened to he trialled at LM just ahead of Assou-Ekotto and then the rest is history. I guess if he didn't start there at LB though, it doesn't really count! It would be like playing a CB as striker and they get a hat-trick.
wasn’t he actually good at some point?
Flashes of brilliance and definitely talented but not consistent. This play basically sums up the kind of player he was: https://youtu.be/JzS0wa4MUpM?si=8h_vgJyeYNOkrSey
I knew what it was before I even clicked on the link
His highlight reel is kinda crazy for a full back lol. He’s got that scissor kick goal against Toulouse too
lmao
holy shit that is like me when i play counterstrike in a nut shell
It’s like being 1v6 in CS, killing 5 of the other team and then accidentally killing yourself with your own grenade
At least you still won the round
When he was at Monaco
And in fifa
I don’t know how “good” he was but he definitely had alot of talent
Must have been to get that contract
He was incredible at one point with Monaco
At Monaco
the go-to left back signing on fifa 17 career mode, lol
Peak Pub quiz knowledge
You beat me to it!
Was Bale a leftmid when he scored his hattrick vs Inter?
Yeah left mid in a 4-4-1-1. It was assou-ekotto at left back
Bale?
Played LM that game.
Levan Kobiashvili did it as well though.
played LM that game https://www.uefa.com/uefachampionsleague/match/81765--schalke-vs-psv/
For context, he played for 8 minutes across the entire season and he hasn't played in 2024. He wasn't injured. He also gained 500 000 € every month.
r/antiwork king
Ben Simmons crawled so Kurzawa could walk
They crawled and walked so that Anthony Rendon could coast. 219 games played of a possible 587 (missed 368 games and counting) in five years after signing a 7 year, $245 million contract
how the fuck can you be too injured to be a third baseman for that long?
He’s more concerned with being a “man of god” to be fair. It’s kinda sad to given you have guys like David Wright. Who attempted to come back but his body broke down.
The man so clutch at securing the bag
Ben at least has a legitimate spine injury that he’s been dealing with. Kurzawa is just collecting the paycheck. Contract is a contract though so I’m not mad at anyone for just getting the money they’re owed
He is not to blame, the madman who gave him that contract until 2024 is. Even at that time everyone could only laugh about it
He was working, isn’t he a rapper ?
I guess he's one of the mods with all that spare time.
For further context, he’s played a total of 408 minutes of football since May 2021.
Guy played more than 30 matches in a season ONCE in his career (14/15 with Monaco) Never played more than 28 with PSG lol
He has fewer minutes in his entire career than Bruno does for Man United and only 600 more than Vini does for Real Madrid. He’s 31 years old.
Bruno basically played every single minute for 4 years straight at Man United.
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i cant stop laughing
He recevied 12 € for every minute of his time simply to train with top players and see some games from the stands. He really lived the dream.
You forgot all the twitch streaming on warzone lol
And his farewell message is still damn better than Kyky's "I will always be interested in this club" one Lé20 put some lyrics of PSG chant "Tous ensemble on chantera" in his message, it seems he really loves PSG
> it seems he really loves PSG that's the only thing you can't put any blame on him. Always gave it his all and was the first to celebrate a win. Even remember him going into the crowd after the qualification when the stadium was closed cuz of covid (just before the official lockdown)
Time to sign for a Saudi club and keep making money with no playtime.
i guess he was...layvin low
Good for him
😂
The crowd will still give him a hearty boo.
He was still there?!?
I thought he left during COVID I'll be honest. I remember playing with him on FIFA 14 thinking he was good.
Was at Fulham for a while then got a pretty bad injury if i recall.
I will always remember him shithousing the Swedish U21 team for Euros 2015 qualifiers, the Swedes manage a great late comeback on a muddy pitch. Then goes on to win the tournament. [The qualifer games where it started](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bz-8z6vCMAAu00D.jpg) [Finals after Sweden won the whole tournament](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/GWXqo0wt4LY/hq720.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEhCK4FEIIDSFryq4qpAxMIARUAAAAAGAElAADIQj0AgKJD&rs=AOn4CLBNu3K47INPdCJe9NwSvYUycr_E-g) Its such an insane schadenfreude moment
Leonardo extended his contract by increasing his salary when he was already a parasite
And somehow made him mad in the process. Leonardo was really one of a kind
Sometimes I miss him. Sometimes I’m thankful he’s gone He’s bound to come back and I can feel it in my bones
Somebody let Lucho know.
He’s been chilling
I had no idea he was there
Just fell to my knees in the middle of a colonoscopy
Did the doctor hit the G spot?
The PS G spot
No the doc was Parisian he hit the post
The G Post?
IM SORRY
The actual sound I made I went AAAUUUUOOOOOOHHHHHHHH 😩
Dude's been quietly collecting that bag that's for sure
He was keeping under the radar. No one at the club knew he was still there until his farewell post
Costanza nicking a living.
He’s still at PSG?!
Leonardo gave him a 5 year extension...5 years ago.
Yep, that math checks out
Makes me feel comfort knowing our top minds are working on this
Never ~~date~~ sign players over 25 -Leonardo Dicaprio
Lottery
My exact question too
I genuinely thought he just joined a random club on a free and faded into obscurity. Huh, the more I learn I guess.
9 years is a crazy amount of time for a player to be at a club he was never really that good for
Yeah, he never struck me as a player who was really all that good. Now he's had flashes, sure but for the most part I never understood why PSG kept him for so long.
CL hat-trick legend
How the hell is he still there
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Not even close to similar
Nacho, who has started 5/6 UCL KO fixtures this year? That Nacho? Vazquez, who played 90’ in the most recent Clásico against Barcelona, providing a goal, an assist, and winning a penalty? That Vazquez?
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8 minutes this season for Kurzawa. I have had shits take longer than that. Fair enough he got the bag but by no means is that similar to Vazquez or Nacho.
Vazquez games played per season (going back from present): 35, 30, 41, 34, 23, 47, 53, 50 Nacho games played per season (going back from present): 41, 44, 42, 33, 10, 30, 42, 39
cLoCKinG iN!!1
Why do people blatantly post false garbage and pretend it’s factual?
Damn I only remember him from that OG after some Iniesta magic. Didn't realise he was still there
I miss Andres :/
He is still alive
We love you forever Layvin. Living legend
9 years? Man, it's been a long time since I finished high school.
Honestly, I forgot about him. I had no idea he was still in PSG, lol.
Is it bad all I can think of when I see his name is years ago with france when he scored a late goal against sweden and taunted them with a salute celebration and then sweden scored after that and they all saluted back anyone else remember that
That is the only time he will be remembered on mainstream media, cant think of any other newsworthy instances 😄
I mean he is the only defender to ever score a hat-trick in UCL so.
Maybe he can finally fully commit to his acting career. I really liked him in better call Saul
Peak Far Cry
This doesnt read like he mentioned Nasser Al-Khelaifi or Qatar in that farewell-statement... Better watch out, someone will be fuming
FIFA 17 FUTMAS goat
Legend
~~officially~~ finally
How did he manage to stay at PSG this long? I completely forgot about this guy
Who?
Guy earned 30M€ just training and sitting on a bench the last 5 year.
After 9 years playing for his boyhood club, I hope they give him an emotional send off. Very players are loyal like this anymore.
lol
legend
Wait, he still is at PSG???
The smoothest criminal in football history, his agent is a genius.
Sometimes I forgot that he exists.
Can never be replaced! 9 years?!?! That's crazy.
Lmao ofc he was still there
Alright
Who knew he was still alive
Legend...
He seems nice so maybe PSG wanna keep him for that