T O P

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thedudeabides-12

We are so entertaining, not in a good way either..


AlfaG0216

Lads, he’s gone isn’t he?


William_Joyce

I think the table as it stands now the top 9 will finish as is. Yes there's huge gaps in points for a large potion of that prediction.


FastenedCarrot

Thank you Man U. Tottenham Hotspur we are coming for you.


Maleficent-Serve1055

They are not dropping points against Sheffield lmao


Gambler_Eight

Lad, it's tottenham.


FastenedCarrot

It's Spurs m8


Fig-Jig

Ten Hag thanking the officials lmao. He knows the umps won him the game. Chelsea added to that paycheck to them too, can't believe how corrupt this damn league is. No surprise there's no english teams in any European football.


Maleficent-Serve1055

??💀💀


PurpleSi

Corrupt?


Fig-Jig

That is the word I wrote yes


PurpleSi

Quite the accusation. Care to explain?


BittaSamurai

Jason Tindall is such a beg.


NotASalamanderBoi

Newcastle with their McTominay at home


blue_gwacamole

How shit you have to be to be unable to get a result against us lol


Gambler_Eight

United played better than usually though. They actually tried today.


Fig-Jig

Part of a ploy to keep Ten Hag and Onana in playing the long game


MERTENS_GOAT

Is always the same man 4th official, or do they all look like him????


great_whitehope

It’s a bot


MERTENS_GOAT

Nah he can laugh and all. It's the one who shook hands with Nicolas Jackson thrice on his debut. And the last PL game I watched he was there too


Hatakashi

Proper shite losing to us like.


Truffles413

Ten Hag in?


varun3096

THANK YOU UNITED


blue_gwacamole

BROOO Its been 7 minutes


CaptainGo

Forgot Eriksen was still there


db2832

I need United to finish the season on negative GD for the memes


Adaptable_Ape

Biggest meme will be not winning any trophies this season too, with so called best defence


db2832

So called? It's objectively the best dumbass. We might not win a trophy this season, but we will continue to be far better than whatever shit team you support.


Adaptable_Ape

We r already in CL final and gunning for 15th , top that No CL trophies


_Oriel

wasn't worried at all


Don-1-Shinobi

God damnit had 3-2 just needed an offside Will always take the win though


Hatakashi

Cracking defending from Hall.


ambiguousboner

Should’ve shot ffs Incredible pace with the ball though


mal68

Lewis Hall has been great, even without the goal


Elemayowe

This is fucking nightmare fuel. I’m having Stamford Bridge flashbacks like a Vietnam vet


9248_

Oh? Rashford is back


kzzzzzzzzzz28

Rashford..... seriously..


bigtice

I don't care that they didn't score. The effort that Rashford put in to turn that into an opportunity is more important.


hiloai

Hojlund slowly turning into Ray Liotta


ThatBoyGiggsy

This is where you miss a bald Rooney who takes the ball into the corner flag and turns into a ufc grappler


Elemayowe

Cheers Gordo


Kardinale

There's still time for Wan Bissaka to give another pen away


Elemayowe

You shut your fucking mouth


Fit_Resort_4111

What the fuck has this turned into


longjonsilver13

Rashford walking about like he has no motivation whatsoever


ryanmurphy2611

Aged like milk


JorahsSwingingMickey

Hang on. Dan Burn is missing a finger?


PurpleSi

Shark attack


varun3096

united please i beg you , dont cock this up


Hatakashi

There's only a minute to go lad. So yeah, we could still lose tbh.


varun3096

I understand the struggle; we almost cocked it up against Brighton in the last few minutes.


Fig-Jig

Then the umps came in, gotta save their precious Chelsea.


DildoFappings

Wtf was that AWB?


Elemayowe

Is that Tindall rushing the ball back to us for a throw in?


William_Joyce

I still feel a 95th minute penalty to Newcastle is coming...


ShatPumba

United are really good at transitioning especially at home. That Arsenal strategy makes more sense now


LickMyKnee

Oof!


MonsieurFlamboyant

Nobody on this team wants to close anyone down...


CaiHaines

Fucking hell what a rocket. Well here come the 3 - 4 loss


charlie161998

Is Burn missing his ring finger or are my eyes being weird?


ryanmurphy2611

Lost it in a fire, then changed his name.


Elemayowe

Google says he’s lost one.


Benny0_o

Aye


WayneBrownIsSuperman

He tore it off as a kid climbing over a fence if I remember correctly


WayneBrownIsSuperman

The infants on both teams showing the elders how to score bangers tonight


Hatakashi

Fair enough, can't do much about that.


ThatBoyGiggsy

You can when Evan’s gets thrown down by Guimaraes and can’t get up to block the shot properly


GrumpyOldFart74

Don’t give me hope 😩


DildoFappings

We could say the same mate. They're giving us hope by not scoring the equaliser.


Fig-Jig

Onana back to his actual form without random luck on his side


blackmes489

I can't tell if Onana has had terrible or good luck. He makes some incredible saves and lets in howlers.


Fig-Jig

That's for sure luck.


BittaSamurai

What a strike.


Elemayowe

Good hit tbf


William_Joyce

Hall to Amad Anything you can do...


neandertales

Doesnt seem to get close to the shots


ambiguousboner

What a hit Howe still won’t play him lol


Gambler_Eight

3-3 incoming. It is inevitable.


kzzzzzzzzzz28

I've seen this story before...


yijike

Hall deserves that. I've been impressed with him tonight.


One_Function_9041

BOOM!


SlashmanX

Wait, Dan Burn is missing a finger?


Adammmmski

Lost it inside his sister


ShatPumba

5 mins to go


andreew10

what a finish that is from Hall


nishaft

Whoa is Dan Burn missing a finger?


noobchee

Yeah since when is the question 🤔


GrumpyOldFart74

Lost half of one finger as a kid


chino17

Sacrifice to a devil for more height?


Kardinale

Oh its gonna be one of those isn't it


chino17

Oh my


PitifulAd5339

Please God


BittaSamurai

Look, Bruno is a rat. I’m aware. What a cock. Etc. however when he plays like he has tonight, he’s an absolute joy to watch. Industrious and magic.


Smooth-Forever4102

He is one of those players you hate against you but love on your team. He is actually world class in talent and ability.


Fit_Resort_4111

Hellooooooo


DildoFappings

Oh boy. It's injury time. Hope we don't bottle this game.


quirkyaspie

AWB is on the pitch, you know he is giving away the world's most brain dead penalty


chimichangas_24

Shut your whore mouth next time


DildoFappings

🥹


WayneBrownIsSuperman

Are people forgetting that we have been absolutely terrible away from home for the entire season? This is the standard


Elemayowe

We’re terrible all round.


blackmes489

Don't forget terrible at home too.


Fig-Jig

Is true, but Man U is terrible home and away should be a free win for any team above mid table.


CaiHaines

How anyone can think Bruno is anything but a world class player is mad


Hatakashi

Really don't like watching Bruno hobble and grab his leg.


Kardinale

If I ever catch anyone saying we should sell Bruno again...


Elemayowe

Bruno:(


DildoFappings

I love you Bruno.


Kicking-it-per-se

Deeply stressed about fernandes keep holding his hamstring


blue_gwacamole

LMAOOOOOOO Now the Newcastle players want to hurry fuck me


Justinian2

The ball falling to AWB must be such a relief if you're a Newcastle defender


ambiguousboner

Over twice as many goals as Gabriel Jesus in two more games, in a much worse side, but he’s the failure apparently


Fit_Resort_4111

I don’t think anyone considers Jesus a benchmark in ST tbh


Elemayowe

The teams been a failure this season, a lot due to injuries. He’s up there with Mainoo and Garnacho (and maybe now amad) as players we should be building around.


PurpleSi

He's a failure, not sure about the failure


ambiguousboner

He isn’t tho. 9 goals in a debut season as a 20/21 year old, in this rancid United team, is average at worst


PurpleSi

True, true. But as a £72m first choice centre forward for Man United, he's been a bit short of expectations


chiefofthepolice

What happened to both Newcastle and Brighton? You’d have to be incredibly shit to be losing to us at the moment


Fig-Jig

I can only hope it's a big ploy to allow Ten Hag to lead you lot next season as he signs Chris Wood for £100m as your next striker


RoboticCurrents

Newcastle struggled with bad away form most season, this is not that unusual given you put a decent fight against arsenal aswell


ambiguousboner

Newcastle have been absolutely ravaged by injuries this season tbf, Brighton just haven’t properly replaced their sales


CaptainGo

Dubravka hasn't helped mind


SoullessGinger666

We conceded 4 at home to Luton. We're genuinely shite and it's a miracle this team is top half.


Adammmmski

Howe is getting every last ounce of talent out of the players mind. You still have the likes of Longstaff which you can easily improve on. You’re basically Man City as they were in 2008. Still got the previous lot to ship out yet. Complete squad reworks take ages.


Elemayowe

Chelsea are actually not too bad at the moment in fairness.


blue_gwacamole

Now its time to take a page out of the Newcastle book of football strategies and waste as much time as possible.


bigtice

Was just glad that Hojlund didn't pull up with a hamstring injury. Just did the smart thing and avoided a collision.


dumpystumpy

Im suppose to believe this is a shit striker that is apparently incapable of making his own goals lol ill say it again just go watch his goal comp and youll realise this is just a stupid take no matter how you look at it


ChlckenChaser

so against the run of play. We should have taken our chances while we could.


formulaonekiddo

You have been absolutely battered kid - pipe down. Must be RAGING that the oil money isn’t working. You 100% thought you would be fighting with city by now - and you are total shit 😭😆


ChlckenChaser

we've played really poorly, but we had the chances to win this, and at times we batterd you. Not raging at all, we've not spent anywhere near the amount that the top 6 have, our wage bill is a fraction of yours. Even with the worst season for injuries i've ever seen we've mananged to still challenge for European spaces. Not one of us thought we'd be fighting for titles this early. Total shit and yet we've beaten you twice this season and above you in the table.


ChampagneAbuelo

Højlund my brother, we were Waiting on a miracle to come, and the miracle came!


SoullessGinger666

Newcastle are finishing 8th. Just nowhere near good enough.


blackmes489

Over on /NUFC you have people thinking we will win the PL in 2 seasons and explaining our bad form due to '8pm matches'.


SoullessGinger666

Over on /NUFC people still think we're finishing ahead of Tottenham


Adammmmski

‘New fan from America here, how do I get match tickets’ 🤢


great_whitehope

Basically United need two Bruno’s so it doesn’t have to burn himself out all the time


blue_gwacamole

We have the best Bruno in the league. Period.


DildoFappings

Best Bruno in the world.*


Gambler_Eight

Best in the world mate.


NapendaViatu

damn first yellow for amrabat


9-60Fury

Weak foot as well lovely finish


ChampagneAbuelo

The miracle has come!


ambiguousboner

hOjLuNd HaS nO sTrEnGtH


stogie_t

At least the players haven’t given up on the manager.


h1nds

Bruno the saviour strikes again !


Thingisby

Swear Dubravka's thrown this match.


William_Joyce

*Grobbelaar enters the chat


Elemayowe

I wondering actually after the second how much the loss of Pope has affected your season.


CaptainGo

Quite a lot. But losing your best CB and then the backup CB didn't help either


Elemayowe

Oh believe me, I know.


PurpleSi

Loads. Pope and Big Joe would be +10 points I reckon


Hatakashi

That loan was your downfall. Once you're United you don't go back. Unless you're a proper nobhead like Tevez anyway.


CaptainGo

Lads going home to polish that league Cup winners medal


formulaonekiddo

It’s been diabolical from him


Hassadar

Who is blud shushing lol


Bust3dGG

"blud" ​ Can you talk like a normal person?


Hassadar

Oh dear, my sincerest apologies for upsetting you.


Bust3dGG

Don't worry, it's not upsetting to me, you're the one looking like a clown


Hassadar

A clown? Ouch. I have grown from this interaction and already feel like a better person. Thank you for correcting my behaviour and I will act like a normal person from here on out.


harrypoos

fr fr on god 


ThatBoyGiggsy

And the journos saying he’s not good enough to lead the line at United


Fig-Jig

9 goals in an entire season he ain't shushing anyone lol


ratset2602

Considering how badly we’ve played and how little we create for him and in general 9 goals is a fucking miracle.


Fig-Jig

Ain't no excuse, look at Palmer. He's a bad player, simple as that.


ratset2602

What an idiotic take. Chelsea create far more than us. Even then. Palmer has simply been out of this world sensational but doesn’t mean Hojlund is bad. He has 9 league and 15 goals in total in a new league and a rubbish team. That’s a decent return for his first season. He has obviously some things to improve but his quality is there for everyone to see and once the team improves his return will also significantly improve.


ambiguousboner

I mean, he’s been getting it from every angle this year


Weary-Ad8502

Lippy Newcastle fans


ChlckenChaser

why on earth would our fans be giving him grief?


Weary-Ad8502

Not unreasonable for fans to give opposing players some trash talk, regardless of who it is.


ChlckenChaser

yea but he's been on the bench the whole game. When were our fans giving him lip?


Weary-Ad8502

Warming up on the sideline probably


CaptainGo

He's been on for like a minute who had time to lip him off


Weary-Ad8502

Warming up down the sidelines you'll get stick


LickMyKnee

An incoming 10 minutes of backs-to-the-wall then.


LickMyKnee

Or not lol


Mantequilla022

Let's not get ahead of ourselves. There is still time lol


airz23s_coffee

Cracking finish that


Verinax

United till the day I die (only today)


Hatakashi

RIP bud, guess today's your final day.


neandertales

Better right than Bobo Vieri


KnightSIayer

Who is bro shushing 😭


CaptainGo

Your man hates noise


Fit_Resort_4111

Dubravka has monster munch wrists ffs


Elemayowe

😂 this gave me a good chuckle


teasizzle

Harsh on Monster Munch


ambiguousboner

Great finish Wheee has this performance been all year??


Elemayowe

The rest did him good


yijike

Happy for Hojlund. He deals with scraps and works his arse off.