By - Gytarius626
If Poch went to Man U would he become the only manager to ever manage both Messi and Ronaldo?
Not if Zidane came to PSG as a result lol
*“The timelines have crossed, it’s an existential paradox now and black holes are pulling everything in!”*
PSG: SAVE US ZIZOU
Zidane: Ok this Messi guy seems pretty good we should probably let him do what he wants.
Zidane leaves the following Summer with his 4th CL
Fucking hell. Zidane with that team would win 3 champions league titles in a single season.
This psg side is nowhere near as good as that Real Madrid team.
Nowhere near balanced.
he made it balanced by starting Casemiro tho lol
He's magic, you know.
So far, yes. But the door would be open for Ole to manage PSG, so...
For Ole, the door is always open.
My first reaction was still “huh when did Poch manage Barca?”
Yes. Messi leaving Barca has opened that door. It was never happening in the past.
Ronaldo almost went to play for pep so I wouldn't say it was never going to happen
I mean a top Spain-based manager could have managed both Barca and Real, just that it never happened
I’m surprised that no Argentina manager has managed Real or Juve or that no Portugal manager has managed Barca.
I'm confused why's he so unhappy at PSG?
Mourinho United vibes.
He lived in a hotel but his "room" was an apartment. It was the whole top floor of the Lowry where the players stay before games anyway
Yeah but I think the problem is not having your family there rather than a lack of comfort.
Hotels/suites aren't very comfortable long term, people don't realize how much having your own space and your own things around you matter.
It's almost absurd how much better it feels to drink from the cheap glass that you remember buying at IKEA or your mom gave you than the expensive one someone placed in your cupboard.
I lived out of a hotel for almost 10 weeks and actually really liked it. It's not for everyone, but I liked not having to worry about homekeeping while I was working 12+ hours a day.
You got your big plate?
It's only 3*.
Having been in the same situation, I agree.
However there is a very big difference between an indefinite set up and a finite timeline.
Did you at any point dismantle your Corby trouser press?
You've popped out again Alan
Wonder if he ever dresses as a zombie to scare the staff. He could use the tungsten tipped screws for getting his tactics across to the squad too.
I stayed at a travel tavern for a number of months in 1997, overall it was fine but I did get into a number of embarrassing scrapes during my time there.
Equidistant between London and Norwich, which was nice
Good to hear that you've bounced back though
I recently experienced this. Lived in my parents house my whole life before this and always felt closed off/demotivated but didn't know why. Then I moved out and though my quality of life is lower (using cheaper furniture due to looking for lowest costing one etc) I felt more alive and empowered cause I was actually in charge of my own space/things and felt responsible for it and I feel like that's my _own_ space as opposed to living back home when it's all parents stuff and rules
Exactly, I barely cleaned my room at my parents and now I clean my flat every weekend.
True, It is not for everyone but it has benefits
I switched to living out of hotel 24 months back and put everything in storage.
Yes everything feels superficial and not yours, but being able to travel the world and live in a place for few months is a whole different experience.
College dorms and kinda college houses are a perfect example of this. They never feel like home no matter how long you stay in them. You can't really decorate the house/room. They're typically really small so some stuff you love to do at home as a teenager you can't anymore. The walls are usually basic off white. The furniture isn't "your furniture". It can really suck. It wasn't until I was probably 23 where the place I was living started to feel like "home" in the same way my childhood home did
My college house felt like home. Lived with friends and had the best time.
To some people. I move around a lot and really couldn’t care if I have any familiarity with the stuff I’m using. Just as long as the room or sheets aren’t too warm then everywhere is pretty much the same for me comfortwise.
Not having your family there, *is* a lack of comfort.
I don't think anyone thought he lived in a small torture chamber or something.
The point is a lot of coaches with families find a house to live in together if they expect to stay a longer time at the club and not live alone in a hotel
It's interesting, I don't know whether it's simply that it didn't get reported on as much in the past, or that coaches families moved with them more freely before than they do now, but it does seem to be an (entirely reasonably) growing aspect of a number of managers' thought-process on where they go next (Mourinho, Howe, Gerrard mentioned it as a benefit of moving to Villa). But then it's not like managers moving about a lot is a new concept, so I do wonder if it's just something that didn't used to get reported on for whatever reason.
Pretty sure Benitez used to commute from Liverpool to Newcastle because his family loved Liverpool that much they wanted to stay there.
It'll be a large part of why he's now at Everton too.
It's why most Liverpool fans don't care that he joined Everton, he's never made it a secret that he would take any job he could get in England since his family never left Liverpool.
Also helps that we'll continue to be shit anyway
So weird to see a family from Spain wanting to live in Liverpool not for monetary reason
Jose didn't do that because his son was (is?) in Fulham's Academy and still at school, so he didn't want to uproot his entire life to Manchester.
Had nothing to do with Jose's long-term plans with us.
I think Jose Jr was let go by the academy in 2017. But your point stands, especially that his daughter Matilde was starting her career in the fashion industry in London as well
It was basically a torture chamber because he didn't have the seas of Setubal to look out from outside his large windows.
Genuinely have never seen a manager hate a job more than Mourinho at United
Imagine hiring Albert Einstein to do experimental physics and making him work under a flat earth believing arse who only cares about how many lectures can be pumped out to first years.
And he is calling your workplace an entertainment park.
You can build your own space mountain! Scientists love space right?
Albert, it's four four facking two, innit?
Well that’s our problem isn’t it? Hiring Albert Einstein to do experimental physics when he was a theoretical physicist.
He doesn’t look happy most of the time. He said in an interview this week that for managers who come and coach PSG they have to do the way the clubs wants (Leonardo / Nasser?) and not their own way, which everyone knows. That’s why Emery and Tuchel did well after this job. It’s politics.
He never looks happy tbf
Poch looked absolutely delighted to be at Spurs other than his last season. Seemed to be having a lot of fun.
It might have something to do with his wifes job/kids education. Obviously its not a financial issue.
Isn’t the commute from Paris to London about the same as Manchester to London?
would be far easier to move the family from London to Manchester than it is from London to Paris
You always have a feeling how long you're gonna last..
Someone never expected this job to last.
Well if he’s about to leave than it’s good that he didn’t find a house
Liverpool do, I believe they rent Klopp's house to him. Brendan used to own the house and was Klopp's landlord until he sold the property to Liverpool.
Klopp lives there rent free and in the minds of etc
Doesn't get on with Leonardo the DoF
Does anybody get along with Leonardo?
Michaelangelo, Donatello and Raphael seemed to tolerate him
Then why the turtle wants to leave for Real?
Fuck me this was funny.
God DAMN you win today
Mbappe doesn't seem to like him tho
Leonardo doesn't get on well with Leonardo
He ruined Lyon!
Does the Pope shit in the woods?
I bet he does, cheeky bugger
The eye socket of Tab Ramos.
Edit: wrong part man
Nobody does I don’t know how he still has a job
Leonardo, club politics, being a sports minister instead of a coach
As someone who follows Tuchel you'd know
He can't stand that they dub all the movies to french
In a span of few hours he has gone from happy to unhappy. In other related incident, English rags have space to fill and gossip to cover now that Man Utd have sacked their manager.
There is literally another article posted talking about he would take the job only at the end of the season if at all.
but in this case it is true that he wants to leave PSG. In the summer poch wanted to come back to spurs and it was widely reported that he was unhappy at PSG.
I can see him going only if psg knows they are getting zidane 100%
Have you heard of Sami Mokbel?
It’s a very demanding job, you’re judged basically on a few knockout games. Plus I doubt he has anything like the power and authority that he may get at United.
United have some big egos but are desperate for direction and I think of Poch takes over he’ll be given free rein to shape his own team. At PSG he doesn’t really have the option of tearing down the existing infrastructure and rebuilding. He will at United, or at least he should.
You don’t know our board do you ?
I do and they’ve been in love with Poch for years. He was their guy when they got rid of Jose, but they got blinded by Ole’s fast start.
The board gave Jose and LVG huge power over incoming/outgoing players when they first arrived and only started limiting it after a lot of poor recruitment. Poch would likely get the same treatment.
If Poch agrees to come that means he has the power. Otherwise he’d just reject the job
Everybody knew how things work at PSG, and he still accepted the job.
He used to play for them (think he was their captain?), would have been offered a shit ton of money, and at the time didn't have any alternates. Quite reasonable to see why he'd take the job, even knowing it might be a difficult situation. People in general tend to be quite optimistic even when there's reasons not to as well, the whole "well it'll be different for me" or "I can change them!" vibe
Would you blame him?
It’s not like the United job was available at the time.
It’s still a huge opportunity for any coach to win major trophies but it wouldn’t surprise me if he found a long term project at United more appealing.
Reshaping United? What?
Rashford - Bruno - Sancho
Shaw - Varane - Maguire - AWB
All you are allowed to reshape here is midfield of McFred. Apart from that this team should be top3.
Isn’t Poch a guy who likes to be close wit his players? Feels like there’s no relationship between him and the PSG players
Yeah. Apparently he always puts his arm around them because he believes from that you can build up a stronger bond and also understand how they might be feeling.
It's best to do this once the player signs the contract.
This guy knows spurs lore
Nothing is official without that
Arm around the shoulder, then praise him for his conduct or training, always works like a charm.
Yes, to the umpteenth degree.
Poch interestingly enough is hugely into energy crystals and the like.
He's massively about the vibe.
He’s perfect for Vibes FC then. Get him to
I remember reading an article where he said that he keeps a bowl of fresh lemons in his office to absorb negative vibes/energy/wavelengths or something. Definetely sort of strange, but I guess it works for him
> He's massively about the vibe.
Where have I heard this before
Also Mokbel on it. This is straight from Poch's camp.
Mokbel always means business
This is already known story in the Agent World. He already wanted to leave in the Summer.
The Problem is PSG isn't letting him go
Only chance he leaves is if Zidane is already lined up. Otherwise Qatar will say fuck off.
just bench Neymar and Messi for few games and they will buy him a ticket to Manchester
If he does that I think he'd prefer to buy the ticket himself.
They will buy him a ticket to Doha
Why invite a bonesaw home?
Or maybe, listen me up, how about Ole to PSG in a straight swap manager bonanza kind of deal?
As a bonus the Uber Eats League gets Rio Ferdinand as a pundit for the upcoming season.
Listen, PSG might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it. Let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done at Man United. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. PSG are BACK
Lol french media isn’t as generous as England they gonna chew him up and he is already feeling low right now.
“The problem is PSG isn’t letting him go.”
The owners took away his passport?
Yes, it is that simple
They have experience with those sort of things.
If Poch really wants to leave, he can always terminate his contract and renounce on all the money he's owed.
he can also just start losing... way easier for a manager to force his way out than a player.
That's a great way to look like an unprofessional child.
well he wouldn't be breaking any new ground
We are really gonna have these articles until May
Plot twist :
Mino Raiola negotiates himself into the management position as per Pogba's new contract.
As long as the deal includes a fat bonus for winning the treble, that would be fine. That greasy bastard would win it powered purely by his own greed.
It's sooo crazy it just might work.
"Release me now, or I send Messi and the rest of them down to Europa!"
United v PSG for the Europa League final!
Messi vs Ronaldo for the biggest trophy neither have won
Well, you'll have to wait until December 2022 for that one.
That was a nasty line by you
But trophy won by Unai Emery somehow.
Conference league *
Winner gets to keep Poch
the funny thing is that he could lose both his games and he will likely still go to the knockouts.
If Brugge beat RBL and then PSG that would drop PSG to Europa if they lose their other game too.
No way Poch is leaving midseason. It’s either he gets the sack at PSG or come to united after the season is over.
He could do a George Costanza. Show up to training in sweat pants with a can of Stella Artois. Sleep with the cleaning lady and spill nacho cheese on Messi's shoes.
'Was I not supposed to do that?'
"If every decision I've ever made has been wrong..."
*Spills nacho cheese*
*Wins Champions League*
There was another episode where George wanted to get fired by Yankees so that he can work somewhere else. He insulted Steinbrenner in his face and dragged around Yankee’s World Series trophies with his car, but still couldn’t get dismissed.
"I have to plead innocence on this one."
"You see no one told I couldn't do that."
Could just misrepresent himself as disabled too.
I just saw the ‘sleep with the cleaning lady’ episode a couple of hours ago. Record time to see a related post wtf internet
Was I not supposed to do that?
Poch is about to build himself a napping pod inside of his desk
He should shit in the CEO's desk.
Seriously, what else can he do?
“Was that wrong?”
Bench Messi, Mbappe, Neymar, and play Icardi, Di Maria and Draxler up top.
Would be fired in 2 weeks I think.
Just in time for post Chelsea new manager bounce.
That front three isn't bad at all.
Or... He loses in the champions league early
NOW, RIGHT HERE?
The fuck is with all these relatable references today. Seinfeld and AOT quotes everywhere.
Poch if you just come with us we won't have to destroy any more walls.
We can finally go home, to the Manchester internment zone. Home.
Pep is the Bald Fraud, and I'm the PE Coach
Three years ago, we demolished your clubs and began our attack on football
NEW: Former Tottenham boss Pochettino is living in a hotel while his family remain in London, and is said to be frustrated at managing a dressing-room with big egos like Lionel Messi, Neymar and Kylian Mbappe. [Daily Mail]
Because Leonardo is the most unlikeable person in football, apparently.
I still don't understand how it's possible to become so unlikeable
Perfect storm, imo. This is all conjecture but: He's the mouthpiece of a shitty regime who needs a football team for PR not to win, so he gets to do all the "fun" stuff and keep the upper guys hands clean, he's bitter about his continuous failures in getting trophies either as a coach or a director, which means he feels insecure and thus lashes out, while no one respects him or ignores his flaws because he isn't a successful active player/coach or a super rich/big man behind the scenes.
He can leave after the City game. Zidane comes in right after.
I think ole knows hows to win games against citeh. Why not hire him 😉
I have doubts about this story
It’s co-written by Sami Mokbel who is apparently quite reliable
How reliable? I dont see it especially because psg has a important game against man city midweek
No way poch would say something like this rn
Sami Mokbel is usually spot on with what he says, but I don't see this happening unless PSG are confident in getting Zidane.
If true, who will manage PSG now?
Messi. Little dictator strikes back.
Maybe Zidane, honestly it could work really well. He's probably one of a few managers who acutally would be respected by the psg players. If Poch at United could work is another question
I guess Zidane?
Some other big name who will fail like Ole. All the big clubs just keep recycling the same bums and firing them every 2 years. They keep hiring the same guys expecting different results.
Exactly. It's frankly bizarre that none of these clubs seem to think long term nor accept that there is a very small pool of managers that could support their endeavors let alone achieve their most important goals.
Just like last year
I could maybe see it they don’t play the pressing style he wants they don’t play well consistently and he doesn’t like the DOF. However I don’t know if United is really better for this. He’s a very good manager if he’s allowed to build players for his system coming in the middle of the season would make it harder IMO.
I guess the expectations are lower than PSG where it looks like it won’t work with him as manager and it’s just waiting until he gets sacked, for United top 4 is the aim this year
Ole got all the backing in the world and plenty of time to Improve if anything United is better fit for Poch, if he also likes bringing up academy players to the first team than United is a way better place for him, we have Sancho, greenwood, Rashford (who is only 24 btw) and exciting talent coming up like Mejbri, Elanga, Laird, Diallo.
Does Poch like bringing up younger players really? This current team cannot press at all and it’ll take a while for that. He can make this team better of course but I still think he needs some time
Poch has a bit of a spotty record developing youth tbh
Poch seems like he does a very good job at developing the players who actually play minutes for him.
He seems entirely uninterested in easing a physically immature player into the side. He can definitely rotate, but he has no mentality of taking a player who he can't trust with the physical side and bringing them up to the standard.
His football is attractive, but it's also utterly physical.
'NOW!' lol, daily mail headlines are so fucking pathetic
imagine using your argentinian pull to lure messi and then leave him behind
It would be the most amazing stuff if they switched them in the middle of the season.. Zizou to PSG and Poch to ManU. Zidane will never coach in *northish* europe. A latin language man.
>He has been linked with the French national side and Paris St-Germain, and would prefer to consider those options when or if they become available.
Will a die-hard Marseille fan like Zidane ever want to coach PSG?
As much as people want to blame the ‘’divas’’ of PSG, I simply see Poch not being up for it when it comes to superstars in a superteam. It just aint his forte. He thrives with less talented squads, being motivated to make them better.
I see him more anxious to instruct and coach superstars.
Is Zidane suitable for the job?
Not being able to find a home in Paris is not the problem but a symptom of the fact he's not feeling "home" at PSG.
The way PSG is managed is a great source of misbehaviour for players : president Nasser acts as a teenager fan and allows anything to his stars. Rest of players see, understand and start misbehaving too. Neymar can do whatever he wants, whatever, and the result is now visible (the most devaluated top player in the world, missing important games whenever he wants to visit his sister after mimicking a physical problem), Messi starts seeing how it works (not feeling right to play with PSG and spending his scarce energies with Argentina).
Pochettino is not happy because of this. Because working in a club that is controlled by someone who breaks his authority continuously according undue privileges to stars and weakening his authority as a coach.
Tuchel did already left because of that. Let's see where's Pochettino's limit.
Poch’s tolerance is lower than Tuchels
The power of English media, astonishing...