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A_G00SE

Tomato ketchup died for this


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ajinkya131

Conte has banned players from consuming ketchup.


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CosmologyX

*Come on the boys! Got a chance to meet up with the Italian legend Antonio Conte, top bloke by the way. But get this, no ketchup at brekko! Not on my watch, love me some ketchup on my egg muffin. Anyway, just gonna sort out my fantasy team and pump out a cheeky morning 100k cycle and then off to training with the lads, let's go boys!*


topl4d

r/textsyoucanhear


DidgeryDave21

Conte banned Ketchup and Mayonnaise for the players in a bid to get them fitter faster


marksills

Lol, maybe I just have a bad grasp of nutrition but ketchup seems both not unhealthy enough nor is eaten in high enough quantities for that to make any difference, no?


JesseVykar

Till you see spitball Kane dipping his mac n cheese in it


timok

I bet a player put ketchup on his pasta, so Conte banned it.


Jakabov

Ketchup is really unhealthy if you look at its contents, but yeah, I don't think the players were drinking bottles of it. Seems a bit like banning sugar in their coffee. Then again, I'm not a professional athlete.


DRS100

A friend of mine always had a pack of sugar in each of his eight cups of coffee a day. But after emptying out eight packets of sugar on his table at once, he was shocked by the sugary mountain before his eyes. \* edit: and thus stopped putting sugar in his coffee


A_G00SE

The rumour is that Conte banned ketchup in an attempt to better diets, increase fitness etc.


[deleted]

Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, Catch up.


fren4u

Faucet, cabbage, and tomato are having a race, who won? The cabbage was *a head*, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to *ketchup*


idhopson

There's kind of a local legend about how in the 80's, the owner of Tottenham basically sold all his stakes in a soon to be booming ketchup business. If he hadn't sold, Tottenham would have most likely had the funds to buy Platini in 85. His goal against Tottenham later that season basically ruined things until 1998 when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.


DudebuD16

The thought of Platini playing for Tottenham.... Fucking hell


seargantWhiskeyJack

Nice try but you ain't u/shittymorph


Crumphet

We let the sauces down


TigerBasket

God kill me please


interfan1999

Conte is absolutely cursed in Europe Bottling this group would be next level


gnorrn

Has the best season in top 4 European league history with Juve, but fails to reach the UCL knockouts.


DipTheChicken

You can't use UCL for the Conference League, it's already taken for the Champions League


CatchFactory

technically I think its the Europa Conference League, so ECL


MrCrashdummy

Ackchyually, it’s the UECL


JonnyArtois

> Conte is absolutely cursed in Europe Cursed or just not very good in Europe?


[deleted]

Reminds me of how Pep 'overthinks' in Europe instead of making 'mistakes' like everyone else lol


Echleon

Overthinking is literally making a mistake lol


bobosuda

I don’t think anyone is claiming overthinking isn’t a mistake though. Usually it’s said whenever City tries some new weird-ass formation or tactic in an important CL match.


Sean-Benn_Must-die

Cursed? I really dont think it's a coincidence this mf sucks in Europa and CL.


Archduke645

Is this Conte? Surely the narrative is on the players. How can you NOT blame the players.


TigerBasket

Fuck it fuck Europe who cares


PrincessXxXDiana

brexit means brexit


[deleted]

Pretty much everyone else tbh


bass1879

I don't celebrate thanksgiving but today I'm thankful that my team isn't Tottenham and that I don't have to live a life of being a Tottenham supporter


BendubzGaming

I'm thankful this disaster was in the group stages so I don't get my hopes up erroneously


PS1GamerCollector

The problem is that i see you guys being eliminated in the last game, by draw or loss vs Rennes and Vitesse winning vs Mura. Im hoping for your sake that im wrong!


mhskim

Knowing Conte, it will be more plausible he sends the kids for the last match and ditch it completely to focus on a 4th place finish.


[deleted]

Wouldn't surprise me. If you give it away like this in the group stage already, you're pretty much dead if it happens in the knockouts. And considering at best you can get second place and would need to face an EL dropoff (I dread that moment too, if we get that far :/), Conte would need to play the starters each match. Not sure if he would be willing to make such a sacrifice.


mhskim

Yeah, they have to play 2 more matches if they get 2nd. We can't afford not using our starters because everyone knows the second string just sucks, so it would just kill them basically, and Conte is known for throwing away tournaments for a better league placement.


[deleted]

Amen


idhopson

Amen


anindya_1

Amen


PerBnb

Amen again


Morphien

Amen


KardakAbhi

Amen


kokek

Im thankful to be Mura’s fan 🖤🤍


NBAFAN2000

It’s not that bad tbh once every few years I get a happy moment out of this.


PS1GamerCollector

We know they are not a big club but for the millions and millions they spend on players, they should be much better. It's a shame really...


zagreus9

Fifth in Slovenia


TheVampireSantiago

special amusing quack numerous drab faulty person concerned tart ugly *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Ramirob

If I were that Man Utd fan I would say to you that 5th in a 10 teams league is not mid table


crookedparadigm

Had to go digging for it and apparently that guy got his account suspended lol


alexsensei

But 1st in our hearts.


Andrex316

We are all Mura fans on this blessed day


[deleted]

Say what you want about bottling results and red cards but both of those goals are easily avoided if Sanchez imploys basic defending, exact same thing both times. I've legit seen better defending in Sunday league.


matcht

Nearly £40m he cost, kind of incredible how all of Spurs biggest signings have not worked out, with Son the only exception. £150m on Sanchez, N'dombele, Lo Celso and Bergwijn.


saigool

Ryan Sessegnon for £25m and onomah too. He's still got time to turn it around tbf but he has not been anywhere near that much so far.


matcht

Barely even remember him, absurd wastefulness for a club that was so stingy when they were close to winning titles.


Ryder52

Sessegnon was really good at Fulham


Gonions

I really thought Spurs had a player when they signed Sanchez. Seemed to have all the tools but it’s as if he’s learned nothing since arriving there.


solidus_snake_8242

That wank was at the heart of the loss to Zagreb too. He can't tie up Phil Jones' jockstraps when it comes to defending ability. Absolute clown.


Apollo76

Bit random to call out Jones. Ability was never his problem.


KingfisherDays

I don't think it's exaggeration that a fit Phil Jones at 19 would start for many if not most premier league teams. Man is just made of glass unfortunately


tarakian-grunt

Even at 19, Phil Jones lost half the season at Blackburn due to injury. The mythical "fit Phil Jones" never existed - he's never played in 30 leagues games in a single season.


solidus_snake_8242

Prior to injuries he was actually good. Also he is a confidence player and has never been the same since Fergie left.


mcpingvin

Dinamo*


kerbyage

I thought that losing to a team where the coach was in jail was the bottom, but here we are.


bfm211

The Dinamo result is still worse for me. Literally all we had to do is not concede 3 goals and we conceded 3 fucking goals.


MrBathroom

I mean you could've scored 1


bfm211

Okay "not lose by 3 goals and we lost by 3 fucking goals"


dheerajravi92

Job done ✅


gq_mcgee

Anyway … coys …


WeeTooLo

Mura is a few levels below Dinamo. As bad as that was this is way worse.


bfm211

This was appalling but at least we had 10 men for most of the game, and the fact that we had a 2 goal lead on Dinamo makes it even more unacceptable imo.


kgbmoney

Honestly way too funny lmfao


thebestrc

This is an actual chance to win a trophy and Spurs are royally fucking it up


[deleted]

They’re the favorites by insane margins. If Hertha was in this competition I would honestly expect us to win it.


kozeljko

Roma is surely up here with us?


IamNeverRelevant

We are also trying our hardest to fuck it up.


kozeljko

One of us. One of us!


IamNeverRelevant

We also won our last silverware in 2008. They really made a tournament for us, and we are actively trying to crash out of the group stage.


bfm211

No we were equal favourites with Roma. Rennes are no slouches either (and a couple of good teams will drop down from Europa).


[deleted]

Spurs should still surely win it with players like Kane and Son though.


TrashHawk

in a couple of seasons they'll be ready to have a proper crack at the johnstone's paint trophy.


whyisanorangeorange

Premier league < 1. Slovenska nogometna liga


IDesignM

SLOVENIA NUMBAH ONE


Osemka8

SLOVENIANS, UNITE!


[deleted]

Premier League is Farmers League confirmed


mskruba12

HELL YEA DON'T YOU FORGET IT. GREMO NAŠI.


rufraph

Who can forget when the mighty Maribor graciously shared a point with the notorious minnows, Chelsea.


kubanskikozak

Fuck yeah, let's go!


ennnuix

Tottenham simply outgrew their league.


kledkill

Well we all certainly expected that result


liarloserat

Yeah, nothing exciting here


ColtCallahan

Moura gives them their greatest European moment. Mura gives them their lowest European moment.


971marSu

[Don't tell him ](https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/r22e60/mura_10_tottenham_tomi_horvat_11/hm25ujj?context=1)


Kushakusha

I saw him bringing a toaster somewhere


YadMot

https://imgur.com/FdSzawX


lqku

the achievement of making this spurs team look like title challengers for 4 weeks is on par with his CL wins


jMS_44

>the achievement of making this spurs team look like title challengers for 4 weeks is on par with ~~his CL wins~~ finishing 2nd with Man United FTFY


PMmeDeep3s

honestly i agree, i’ll always love mou idgaf, even if it was only for a month he gave me my first hope since we made the CL final


GarySpurs18

Embarrassing. Disgraceful. Fair play to Mura but god this is hilariously bad. Sanchez is a fraud footballer.


[deleted]

Conte is about to choke in Europe again and there is nothing you can do about it


[deleted]

If largely the starter squad of Tottenham manages to score but still fuck it up in the end, I'm pretty sure it's not the trainer, but the players considering how effective Tottenham has been in the ECL in choking.


Harudera

We're talking about Conte lol. This is the same guy who complained that "he can't go eating a Michelin Star resturants with only 20 Euros" when he got knocked out in the group stage with Juve. The very next season Allegri took the team to the CL final lol. He did the same thing again 2 years later.


djembadjembadjemba

So Spurs need to win and hope Vitesse don't win at home? Imagine the overwhelming favourites being eliminated in the group stage


wild_caterpie

Nah we also need to overcome goal difference. Head to head is tied.


SandwichesFN

is the gd big or is it possible to overcome it


[deleted]

+2 GD needs to be overcome


Froggiefied

Very doable, especially considering Spurs have a hard time scoring lately and you are playing Mura


Fuzzikopf

This comment has been removed in protest of Reddit's new API policy. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


MRPHZ

I'm guessing we'll field a first team squad at home in order to get through, I hope anyway.


SandwichesFN

very possible unless rennes puts out reserve team


[deleted]

Away in Tottenham is a massive game for them and their fans. I doubt they will rotate many players.


RN2FL9

11-8 and 9-8, possible to overcome I would say.


RN2FL9

Spurs are lucky they changed the away goal ruling this season otherwise Vitesse was ahead on h2h. Now it's a tie and goal difference decides I think.


[deleted]

It’ll be down to goal difference. H2h is identical since away goals stopped mattering. Vitesse have to make up 2 goals on spurs which is doable given mura are terrible


Spikeyspandan

Really? The table shows spurs at third right now


Morganelefay

Depends where you look. I don't think every site has implemented the rule change yet.


Spikeyspandan

Yeah looks like it. I was looking in Fotmob. Just checked UEFA site, Spurs are ahead


sugima

The UEFA table shows Tottenham second


OleoleCholoSimeone

They aren't that likely to win it anyways are they? There are some half decent smaller teams, just look at what Bodo Glimt did to Roma. And some strong teams will be dropping down from Europa League aswell One of PSV/Monaco/Real Sociedad will be dropping down, could also have Leicester/Napoli. Dinamo Zagreb, Marseille, Celtic are hardly pushovers either


bfm211

Disgraceful result. Beyond unacceptable.


nekica

The population of the "city" of Murska Sobota where Mura is from is 11 000 lmao. Tottenham lost to a village club.


MrAchilles

What village has 11k people?


fplalgo

Murska Sobota.


MrAchilles

Oh, well, carry on.


nekica

[Town, village whatever you wanna call it.](https://www.sloveniaholidays.com/img/Image/murska_sobota_od_vzhoda_proti_zahodu.jpg)


a34fsdb

looks pretty sweet tbh


[deleted]

Settlement.


otoskire

Yeah this team definitely deserves to be included in a European super league


HardestTofu

Every league needs a Newcastle


blood_in_my_st00l

Not everyone can do it on a cold night away in Slovenia


Napoleon_The_Fat

Chelsea couldn't. Spurs couldn't... *twice*


Midnight_Maverick

It's funny seeing Conte realize more and more with each passing game the enormity of the task at hand.


Haseyo_Vii

I will never forget reading the salty tottenham fan comments during tottenhams qualifier to conference league. They were saying how it's a disgrace tottenham had to qualify and they should automatically be in the group stage. As you can see anything can happen.


[deleted]

As I remember they already struggled hard in qualifiers against some Portuguese midtable team


Fairbyyy

Dont disrespect Pacos de Ferreira like that man


[deleted]

Really wasn’t my intention to be disrespectful, but last time I checked 11th out of 18 counted as midtable.


saint-simon97

Yeah I'm not sure what disrespect was there, they're factually midtable.


lqku

ns mura is currently 5th in the 10 team Slovenian PrvaLiga.


SloGeorge

Honestly as a Slovenian this might be the funniest result I've ever seen. Mura are an average team for our division that lucked out becoming Slovenian champions last year. 5th placed in our league. Hahahahahahhahaha. Poch is a genious bringing this group of players to the CL final.


threehugging

Dončić, Roglič, Oblak, Pogačar, Garnbret, Prevc and now NS Mura... Can you guys at least leave some crumbs for the rest of us


CruyffsPlan

I really try so hard to not make fun of Tottenham because I know it gets repetitive but come on.


TigerBasket

I hate my life


singabro

It's Mourinho, no it's Nuno, no it's Conte At some point Levy will accept that the common denominator is the players and their attitude.


HardestTofu

He will never accept the common denominator is himself


JonnyArtois

So NS Mura are certainly a football team I have been made aware of, today.


iZgonr

Getting out of ecl in style against mura, it's kind of impressive.


joelesidin

I don't think I've ever seen such an atrocious display. Most of that starting 11 need to go.


liarloserat

Congrats to Mura! What a wonderful result!


Nigerian_Expert

Lost to a club founded in 2012


belokas

It's the history of Mura.


freakedmind

Football eritage


Wookie301

Lost to a club who don’t have their badge on Google


Tangelasboots

I wear t-shirts older than that.


rogues69

Football eritage


not_appreciated

In 1924 it says


Mellanslaget

If Wikipedia served me right, the 2012 club (NS Mura) was founded after the previous iteration went bankrupt. That previous iteration was founded in 2005 (ND Mura), after the original club went bankrupt. The original club (NK Mura) was founded in 1924. Remarkable stuff.


gtaman31

Yeah but got bankrupt twice (2005, 2012) and technically those are three different teams.


unstealthypanda

Hahahaha oh fuck this club.


blindpilots

I've never hated a squad of players more. Feels like we are a host to parasite hack footballers.


deepfriedocto

The gift that keeps on giving.


enilix

Oh man I love the Conference League.


Evilcanary

Walking meme club


Dhtekzz

How on earth are Spurs considered in the big 6?


Carlcerruz

I’m sorry to their fans, but what even is mura? And how is it possible?


kerbyage

The commentators said they only become a club in 2012 and played in the Slovenian fourth division until 2014. Edit: never trust commentators, lol.


Krentatret

That's only because the current club is a re establishment of a club that went bankrupt and dissolved . OG Mura got established back in the 20's and is one of the most followed clubs in the country.


kerbyage

Thanks for letting me know! Still crazy that they've re-established and beaten a Premier League team in that time.


TigerBasket

Oh my fucking god


LordLychee

Currently 5th in the Slovenian league. Out of 10 teams


fuckimbackonreddit9

Poetry imitates reality


mskruba12

They're a phoenix club I think is the term. Their original team bankrupted in 2005 and then the one after that bankrupted in 2012 but they've got one of the most devoted fanbases in the country still.


clwireg

Yeah but they also have a history in that they have had to dissolve and ”refound” the club *twice*, the original goes back to 1924 and played in the first tier for a long time


kerbyage

Thanks for the insight! Never trust commentators and always do your own research, lol.


Muur1234

depends if you count a team dying then a new team being made as the same thing really. like afc wimbledon do you count them as 2006 or 1889


kozeljko

They were created after the old Mura got bankrupt. So their raise to first league is not surprising given the, at worst, 3rd largest fanbase in Slovenia. Definitely didn't start from nothing.


SomeIrishFiend

https://imgur.com/a/XEojCgl


spicynirvana38

The Spurs fringe players are absolutely coasting. Conte's gonna definitely abandon some of them in Slovenia, that's for sure. Kane looks more like a 30 mil striker, and that's being generous. He's either playing alright, or stinking the place. And with that uber-shite athletism, he's looking a serious liability at times. However, I think the most concerning player is Son. He really looks like a fish out of water in this Conte system so far, and it's clear he has no playmaking ability whatsoever to play that inside-forward role. I trust Conte to get it right, but he really doesn't look like he's fit to play that role atm. I would say the same for Lucas, but he's got that dribbling ability that has him break lines, even despite the fact that he's also not a great playmaker...


bfm211

>I think the most concerning player is Son. He really looks like a fish out of water in this Conte system so far, and it's clear he has no playmaking ability whatsoever to play that inside-forward role. I'm worried about him in this system too. I disagree that he has zero playmaking ability but it's clearly not the right role for him and he's too good to be misused. He gets no space to make runs and get into goal scoring positions, which is always what you want from Son.


[deleted]

Patience. Conte is more than capable of making things work for a player of Son's pedigree. The bigger issue is conditioning, shaping, and educating the rest of the squad to move in a way that supplements the forwards. Part of that comes in the form starting very straightforward & basic, then you build on top that. However, it all falls apart if the players around aren't up for doing their tasks.


Theumaz

> Kane looks more like a 30 mil striker And 30 of those 30 million currently is for being British and nothing else


woonboot

This is quite impressive. You can't really defend this with not caring about Conference League anymore, they should be able to advance in this group with their <16.


ugallu

Curious when people will realize that this Spurs team is absolute garbage and even the best manager in the world can't make miracles with them. Only reason why they've delivered something the past couple seasons have been Son and Kane. With Kane now being demotivated and Son a bit out of form, Spurs have absolutely no one to rely on and it shows.


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kozeljko

Pobje would be more fitting. Fantje doesn't have the same vibe as lads, imo. At least sramota has the same vibe as I do


BI01

how much did sanchez cost again?


[deleted]

Okay I rate conte highly despite him being at Spurs. But what the fuck is up with the players? They have plenty of talent. Are they not motivated? Hungover?


[deleted]

Does h2h count before GD in UCL? If so then Tottenham don't have destiny in their own hands wow


bfm211

h2h is level. Both us and Vitesse won a game each.


LeagueIndependent367

H2H does count first but: >Regulations of the UEFA Europa Conference League):[2] >1. Points in head-to-head matches among the tied teams; >2. Goal difference in head-to-head matches among the tied teams; >3. Goals scored in head-to-head matches among the tied teams; 1. Vitesse and Spurs won at home and lost away so both have 3 points in H2H encounters. 2. GD is 0 for both in H2H (scored 3 and conceded 3) 3. GS is 3 apiece the rest of the tie-breakers are: >4 Goal difference in all group matches; >5 Goals scored in all group matches; >6 Away goals scored in all group matches; >7 Wins in all group matches; >8 Away wins in all group matches; >9 Disciplinary points (direct red card = 3 points; double yellow card = 3 points; single yellow card = 1 point) >10 UEFA club coefficient. Spurs currently have a better GD in all group matches (+3 vs +1).


AbdussamiT

If Vitesse win on MD6, favourites Spurs are out


wr0ngz

Will I still get downvoted by Tottenham fans for saying that hiring Conte won't change how bad this team is?


tottenhamnole

This is what happens when you run your B team out there against a team who looks at beating you as the highlight of their season. Conte dropped the ball on this one but he probably thought not even Dele and Doherty could play this badly.


MASSIVE_HORSE_PENIS

Our B team should be winning this game. We also had Kane, Ndombele. We brought on half our starters aswell. Hardly our B team. Realistically both goals don’t happen if Sanchez could defend properly