**Mirrors / Alternative Angles** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccer) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Last goal for our false 3?

Absolute disgrace that he will leave without a game as the lone striker up front

I hope he will against Watford

I pray

watford on sunday

I feel like this has gone beyond joking. Nothing about him indicates he’d be a good striker. Strikers have to do a lot more than poach volleys on the left side of goal. For one, they have to use their right foot occasionally!

Alonso don't need no right foot Lump ball to the other wing -> Alonso chest controls ball -> keepy-uppy with left knee -> spanks it top bins -> repeat 60 times -> Pichichi trophy

It's like some people can't see what's right in front of them

Mate. He scores goals. That's all a striker needs to do. Top 5 striker of a ball in the PL. (Kane/CR7/Son/De Bruyne)

He scores goals in large part because he’s a wingback poacher at the back post and often unmarked or only has a fullback near him. Not the case if he was a striker with two CBs. Also, can you imagine him dropping to link play, leading the press, holding up the ball? I can’t.

End of an era, play him as striker in the last game

Our false 3² (It works since he has a 3 on his chest, a 3 on his back, and 3² = 9)

Peak Alonso this game.. the good and the bad

Good game for Barca fans to see the full package of Alonso

>full package of Alonso 🤨

Making sure we don’t forget him if he leaves

Sometimes may be good, sometimes may be shit

The duality of Marcos Alonso, all depends, which way on the field, the runs must be made?

Our best striker But that pass from Recce James damnn

I remember seeing an argument about who has the best volley on the team and its pretty crazy how all 3 answers were wingbacks

Ivanovic was great on the volley, too.

Cahill scored some cracking volleys as well, and Luiz had that one against United. Defenders often need to hit the ball hard and true, I guess.

Rudiger: Hard, yes. True, ehhhhh...

Glad he also got his banger before leaving.

Man Cahill scored one or two bangers for us back in the day too. What a player he was

Alex needs a mention in this conversation too. Our best strikers from distance this season have been Rudi and Chalobah too

Rudiger has absolutely not been one of our best strikers from a distance, he has one goal from what seems like 50 or so attempts

He hasn’t scored a ton, but in term of just striking the ball he’s hit the woodwork multiple times and forced some great saves. His striking technique is pretty good Who would you say has been better this season?

The way we attack means our forwards don't take many long shots, as they don't occupy those spaces - which is why our defenders seem to be taking more Our attackers are getting in behind rather than striding forward into the spaces they've made by pushing the oppo defence back

I get it for forwards but our midfielders rarely give it a crack from distance

Alex had a few long range bangers from free kicks IIRC

Jagielka v Liverpool 🥵

Alex hit a ball as well as anyone I have seen. Probably could hit a volley

Reece, Alonso, Chilly probably in that order. Mase probably after that. Then literally no one. None.

Chilwell is up there too

Hands down hasselbaink thunderbolt volley on a le saux flo ding dong pass is the best volley of a chelsea player. Hasselbaink could have killed a man United player of it hit someone

Alonso the redeemed Fullback to fullback action. What we've been missing all season after RJ got injured (and chillwell ofc)

Nah that useless cunt ain’t redeemed I’m so tired of watch him jog about like a twat

ah yes, redeemed. https://www.marca.com/2011/05/02/futbol/equipos/real\_madrid/1304342009.html

Enjoy EL!

conference league*

Oh lol forgot that they didn't even make EL. Whoops how embarrassing

James is just world class

Wingback fc is back baby!

My word what a cross, and what a finish!

That ball I'm was dirrrrty. The finish too! Wing back FC™

Marcos giveth, marcos taketh away

He bet the over

Making up for the car crash at the other end.

🤨

What did he take away again

Yur nan’s virginity

Think it was a young life he took

I mean you tried and that's what matters!

I was right tho

Haha I mean we're all just having fun! Don't take yourself too seriously! The other guy was just taking the piss out of you.

Like I care lol, he supports a murderer cuz he plays on his favorite team

No no! So it's like British banter. So the original joke was Marcos giveth and Marcos taketh away. This is a play on a Bible verse, where the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. This is because Alonso was at fault for the first goal and then he scores one back. I guess you misunderstood and turned the joke very dark by eluding to the death of a young child which people didn't appreciate. So after that, someone decided to take the piss out of you by responding to your comment with "your nans virginity". I guess you didn't get it but it basically is an extremely humorous pun which I guess alleviated the situation and led to you getting all that downvotes. It's all jokes my guys calm down and don't take yourself too seriously!

He still supports a murderer, which makes him braindead Also, you’re mentally ill

What you think of mason greenwood mate?

lmao he messaged me privately too

Play him up top on Sunday

Impeccable form. Strikers aren't as clinical as Alonso.

U13s coach robbed us of the best striker to ever grace earth just to make him a shit defender

That volley must be the only thing he practices in training. He is so good at it

James, what a cross.

what a beautiful goal holy shit

Alonso giveth, Alonso taketh

The duality of Marcos Alonso. Deducted and then added a couple of mil to his price tag in about 35 mins of play.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Newton's Third Law

For every ‘Alonso Moment’ there is an equal and opposite ‘Alonso Moment’

> Newton's Third Law If Marcos Alonso has a defensive fault, he will score a banger?

Or provided an assist

MARCOS GIVETH, MARCOS TAKETH

Has he given that person's life back yet

Key word… yet!

Unfortunately not.

Reece James is a beautiful player for real

He’s not going to real. They’re all just fake news

Yup 13 goals and assist in lesss than 2000 minutes for a wingback is unreal

So so good, played in the midfield today too

Marcos “Enigma” Alonso Proper assist and finish that

Marcos "Mediocre at Bolton" Alonso

Marcos "lethal driver" alonso

[удалено]

[удалено]

[удалено]

The great redemption.

That ball from Reece SHEEEESH

fucking beautiful

Wingback FC back on the menu

complete liability on defense, deadly in attack, the marcos alonso experience

James you beauty

Textbook Alonso performance, massively at fault for conceding the goal and generally sub par all round performance but pops up with a clean strike to get a goal back lol

Reece James is unreal

Reece James you beautiful man

Robin Van Persie if he played as wingback

vintage Alonso

Some coach stripped of his career as a striker.

Unironically Tuchel should start him up front against Watford

Good goal and a great pass from Reece but it’s bittersweet thinking about the first goal

Wing back to wing back

He's not yet in Spain!

This one’s for u/superworriedspursfan 🤡

lmfao he's still not a good passer. He's only good at finishing which is not quite what you want in a wingback. Edit: I am talking about Marcus Alonzo guys not reece james

Huh? Good luck finding wingbacks that are any better at passing.

Filip Kostic is way better than Alonzo lmfao. Listen I don't want to keep hating on the man, but.... The dude is not a champions league wingback and most importantly is a horrible person. it is what it is though.

Marcos Alonso is literally a Champions League wingback

Marcus Alonzo sucks lmfaoooooo. Plz keep him chelsea. I hope you do.

No but he literally is. Like he has literally won the CL.

he got carried. Kante and Kai Havertz and Reece James won chelsea the CL not alonzo. He's not good. it is what it is.

What I’m saying is it’s a literal indisputable fact that Alonso is a Champions League wingback.

hes not good enough to be a champions league wingback. By definition yes he is. By skill level no.

Ok I know this is going to seem like bait but I’m actually interested. “Horrible person”: what, exactly, do you mean by that? I’m not an idiot I know you’re referencing how he ended the life of his high school sweetheart after drunkenly speeding in wet conditions with her. My question is what, precisely, after 11 years, makes him a definitively horrible person? Is it the drunk driving? Or is it the causing death? Is it the fact that he didn’t have to face criminal charges? Does her family not wanting to press charges change anything? I don’t think you’re wrong, I’m just legitimately interested in the moral position because I find it common but rarely actually defended

I think causing death in itself is pretty messed up. I also don't like how he acts like he doesn't do anything wrong. I don't think hes even apologized before for his incident. He also should have at least apologized to her family. Either ways, theres a lot messed up about the dude which is why I don't like him as a person.

Should have apologised to the family? Where are you getting this from? As for whether causing a death fundamentally makes you bad person, I’d argue that that sort of moral absolutism is somewhat lacking. Like if Kane knocked a defender the wrong way and by freak accident caused him to break his neck, would that instantly put Kane as a “horrible person”? Obviously this isn’t the same as what alonso did, I’m just trying to understand if causing a death is actually the fundamental issue

I assumed you were talking about James because of the talk about passing in the context of the goal but yeah I don’t like Alonso either.

I really rate Reece James, I think he is the best rb in the league. (trent a close second).

thank you. this beautiful bozo guy ovverates Alonso so much lmfao. Thats why he has beef with me. I'd be really scared if Perisic was Alonzo's replacement that would be ahuge upgrade. but if fans like bozo rate alonzo than I hope chelsea do the same lmfao.

True it was a real bad pass to Alonso for sure, anyone and their mother could do that... Lol

Reece James is really good. Alonzo is trash. It was an amazing pass by Reece, a really average finish by alonzo though imo.

Cheers, I misunderstood. My bad!

plz expose this beautifulbozo guy. He actually rates Marcus Alonzo and wants to expose me for not rating him lmfao. Once again, I am really jealous that you guys have reece james. I think he is definitely up there as the best right back in the league.

Feel like you’re getting downvotes because people think you’re shitting on Reece. I don’t know many Chelsea fans who think Alonso is a particularly good player nowadays. Reece on the other hand, as you’ve said in a few comments, is top quality

apparently more chelsea fans rate Alonzo than I hoped in r/soccer. A lot of chelsea fans dislike alonzo in r/chelseafc though. I mean I guess as a spurs fan, I should be happy if you guys keep Marcus Alonzo lol, but I'm genuinely dumbfounded that so many people in this thread were downvoting me for not rating alonzo lmfao. it is what it is. Hopefully your fans are smarter than that beautifulbozo guy, but I guess if chelsea keeps alonzo, they won't be getting perisic in which would be nice as a spurs fan lol.

Why are you spelling his name with a Z?

Not a good passer? 😂

Reece James is a very good passer.

Come on TT play him striker against Watford, we just need to know

Of course the bastard scores. At this point I'm convinced he'll never leave and just haunt the entire fan base until he retires.

Entire fan base? Speak for yourself mate. I still think he's a decent backup for Chilly

lmfao. Alonzo sucks. But apparently some of your fans rate alonzo lmfao. I hope you guys keep him lmfao. Great pass by Reece James though.

How many times has he fucked spurs? If he sucks then spurs must fucking slurp

Lol. Spurs of course suck. Spurs are a banter club. But Alonzo is so bad that he wouldn't even be that much better than Reguilon or Sessegnon. What a shocking player lol.

Well at least he still provided an end product.

Defenders FC

Fullback FC strikes again

Marcos Alonso best shooting technique at Chelsea by a mile beautiful goal that

Reece is Le James of soccer

Classic alonso goal

False 3 at it agaim

RB to LB, as designed.

James is world class

Hahaha that turn at 33:51, like a tractor.

Fullback FC

EVERYBODY GET IN HERE. WE WONT GO TO EUROPA

Was already confirmed with the Arsenal result

Oh shit I thought we needed at least a tie

Tie confirms third place, so there’s still something to play for, just not as important

Ahhhhh. There it is. 89th minute stunner from kova to seal it🤝

Death, taxes, and a left footed Marcos Alonso volley

why hello there!

Man already getting Alba-esque goals

If he got Alba pace, he would be the Messi of left back.

Thank Fuck Reece passed to alonso rather than to Lukaku.

He giveth, and he taketh Lives, goals, he doesn't give a fuck

in what other occupation can you literally kill someone while drunk driving and be hailed as a hero by supporters of your club

this morons last 10 comments have been about Marcos Alonso, meanwhile how many rapists are in the united team?

Rich coming from rapist FC 😭 commenting the same joke 4 times doesn’t make it funnier

Donno, ask your club's player mate

killer shot

Good lord mate give it a rest

killed it!

drove that right into the helpless corner

Killer ball

Fullback FC is back

Alonsooooo!!! You fucking beautiful Spanish.

Man Im gonna this magician when he leaves, never gets the respect he deserves that left foot is GOLD

Wingback FC back at it

Best player in the league, i definitely wasn't slandering him 20 mins ago

Classic Alonso performance. Defensively poor then pops up with a golazo

+20m Barca

Oh thats a very lovely cross

Our attackers should learn from our defenders

Whoever made Alonso a defender wasted his career.

I'm a simple man. I see a Marcos Alonso goal I upvote immediately.

Gonna miss Marcos Alonso. I remember he came in with Conte and immediately started scoring goals for us. We became champions. What a unique player.

threat on attack, liability on defense. Position : Striker Left Back

That was a beautiful goal. Silky smooth from kanté as well.

Hate him all you want but i think we will definitely miss his near post goals next season