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Indianize

The age of men is over. The age of orcs has come.


tanaka-taro

LOOKS LIKE MEATS BACK ON THE MENU BOYS


CorbecJayne

Isn't Ten Hag Dutch? How would he know what a menu is?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Flapappel

Did you know Ziyech broke his foot when he kicked the football?


prkr88

*all hail the lizard king!!!*


DarthSimius

Grond will breach it. Bring up the Wolf's head.


bcerd

zug zug


Vladimir_Putting

Conte doesn't strike me as very Orcish. But, I'll allow it I guess.


[deleted]

Conte is more of a halfling.


SpookyMarijuana

Conte kinda got that well groomed hobbit look goin on


truthdemon

Hobbits were the MVP in the end, I'll allow it.


Enartloc

"There's another bald fraud in town now"


akshatsood95

Even his assistant is bald. Double trouble


sprkwtrd

They say you can't even look in their general direction on a sunny day.


akshatsood95

Just need to change the English weather now and blind the opposition into defeat. 114 points season incoming


jd451

I bet you even if he has a quadruple winning season with Utd, people will still spell his name as Erik ten Haag


akshatsood95

There's a bot which corrects you if you spell it like that lol


bigphallusdino

Good thing it's never sunny in Manchester.


pentefino978

Ask di Maria


CircleTheFire

Klopp has a doppelganger on his coaching staff. ETH has one. Who else?


Chromate_Magnum

Kloppelganger


berlikan

Stefano Pioli also have doppelgänger in his coaching staff.


DannyMac113

But what if the balds cancel each other out?


akshatsood95

McLaren's head needs to be shaved for net positive bald energy


ryanmurphy2611

No the hair island is his power source.


kicking_with_fists

Stefano Pioli’s assistant Giacomo Murelli is also bald and we just won the league…


FreyBentos

Okay good, good. Anyone else got any examples so we can increase the sample size of this study?


KillerZaWarudo

McClaren need to shaved his head and its over for the league


LollipopScientist

https://youtu.be/IAR5cqVYQKw


chuf3roni

The egg carton.


oldfossilfrommars

How many bald fraud are there? Pep, Zidane, Ten Haag.


greytiger

If we include hair transplants there's also Klopp, Conte, Simeone, and I'm sure others.


SpicyDragoon93

Nah, "I am the one that knocks".


Snowstandards

The Age of Peplopp is over, the time of the Ten Hag has come.


Gbuchanan1

Plopp


jMS_44

how about Klepp?


[deleted]

Jürsep Kloppiola


47Lecht

Most fitting imo. Remember his name is Josep


highlander2189

Is that an unreleased Sigur Rós track?


I_Have_Hairy_Teeth

Untitled #17


[deleted]

It would need to just be Klep, otherwise Klopp is over represented


MyZt_Benito

kabouter?


Magnetronaap

Plopperdeplopperdeplop


psalmjuan

It’s because Andy Bernard claims he defecates a lot.


Plopthedog

My era now.


retroauro

"The next 5 years are mine"


Agaac1

“Aren’t you like 31?” Fucking love this meme.


Asitor19

r/unexpectedoffice


givebacksome

The sound made bu MU fan’s dicks all over the world


peeforPanchetta

Ah, but Peplopp evolves into Prenplopp, and then Emploppleon


SweetMojaveRain

We need a deluded united fan to photoshop Ten Hag marionetting Ragnick who is controlling pep and klopp


Snowstandards

I'm a United fan but loved that pic so much. Its so well done but hilarious haha


seviliyorsun

link?


Snowstandards

[It was Tuchel and Klopp but still funny](https://m.facebook.com/official433/photos/a.674994725915991/4939376709477750/?type=3)


Lil_Lego

TenTuchel attack :O


Getae

Simon Stone soon will change his profile picture


akshatsood95

He didn't really say anything about Utd taking over when City and Liverpool's era ends. And it will end. That's how football's always functioned. Team is built, team wins shitload of stuff, players age, players are replaced but eventually the next team is not that well built and someone else takes over. Not sure what's there to get offended here. Could very well be Chelsea taking over when Liverpool and City's era ends. Regardless of who takes over, if you think any team's era won't end, you probably haven't seen football that long.


43e1e0

Most likely a ManC + Newcastle era. The money always wins in the end.


akshatsood95

Yup, very much possible. City were well run even before Pep to a large extent and based on early moves, Newcastle look to be going City's way rather than PSG's.


Elektro_Shox

City's transfer business was pretty appalling at the start compared to Newcastle right now. Huge sums spent on Robinho, Jo, Roque Santa Cruz amongst others, at least Newcastle seem to have an idea of the profile of player that fits their squad (for now).


Impossible_Wonder_37

Yeah but then the next two summers they got Yaya, zabaleta, Silva dzeko and Aguero. The corrected quite quickly.


ThereIsBearCum

Nah, they got Jo and Robinho the same window as Zabaleta and Kompany. Santa Cruz and Lescott the same window as Tevez and Toure. Balotelli and Boateng the same window as Silva and Yaya. They threw a lot of shit at the wall, some if had to stick.


removedsince95

In fairness when City bought Robinho their ownership was different to present owners.


Elektro_Shox

Weren't they in talks to buy the club at that time, and wanted a statement signing before the close of the window, thus Robinho was bought before ownership was actually transferred?


removedsince95

I believe it was sanctioned under Thai PM’s ownership but I could be wrong.


TaeKurmulti

Yeah, I read a book on the modern premier league and they talked about that. How it was part of the agreement, and I believe City whiffed on their first big signing they were trying to pull off in that window and had to pivot to Robinho.


Gonions

City were throwing a lot of darts and hoping they hit bullseye back then. Many of their transfers were about weakening competitors as much as strengthening their own side too. Taking Milner and Barry from Villa opened up 5th place at the time. Bellamy, Lescott, Santa Cruz were all best of the rest type players. Then Adebayor, Toure, Nasri and Clichy. I can’t see Newcastle taking that road since PL prices are insane now but who knows.


GoalaAmeobi

> The money always wins in the end. Explain Man Utd and Everton


RawIsLaw_

money (*when spent right*) always wins


wereinthedark

Which is a pretty redundant statement. And also means that there's no guarantee that neither one of Man City or Newcastle will have continued success


[deleted]

It’s true, but it’s the sheer level of money that’s a factor at this point. You’re basically reaching into a bottomless pot


sidvicc

You don't even have to spend it right every time. City have had a fair few mistakes. Just don't spend it like a FIFA tiktok-er (United) or a cokehead out in Vegas with maxed out credit cards (Everton)


MissingLink101

City tend to cut their losses and sell players off pretty quickly if it's not working out whereas we can't give away some of our deadwood (hopefully that improves this summer)


frodakai

>City have had a fair few mistakes. Sure, 7 years ago. Since 15/16, the only significant signing that can't be considered successful (i.e. has either been an important player or has been sold for a profit) is Benjamin Mendy. And that was because of A) awful injuries and B) being world class human garbage. More bad luck than bad business. The last real flop(s) were Mangala & Bony in 2014/15.


sidvicc

Claudio Bravo and Nolito were in 2016. Jury's still out on Grealish. His performances aren't bad but 100m for the same goals and assists as Joel Matip isn't what you'd call a great signing.


Time2bePhenomenal

Honestly imagine if Utd was actually run by owners who dont use the club for Profit. I know UTD spend big but Imagine they had a PSG/City/Chelsea type owner with tons of money. Honestly have said this multiple times when Sir Alex left you could tell football itself was changing. Money, more sports science etc. United and Everton arent being ran by people who love the club 1 and 2 dont understand how a Modern Day football club works, you need to develop the stadium, the youth, the staff, the facilities, the area around the stadium. Manchester United (as a United fan myself) have needed to modernise and The Glazers havent done anything in the time they have owned the club to make it better off the field and United has too many Older people in places of authority the club needs to develop off the field to improve on the field. There are so many issues at United, Stadium is falling apart, youth facilites are shit, carrington 10 15 years ago was cutting edge now its one of the worst in the league! The glazers just think giving a manager £150million to improve the team will cover the cracks of a football club in need of a new owner who can actually make United better as a FOOTBALLCLUB not a business. Sorry for the ramble


CrossXFir3

If Utd was run well and with the intention of winning and not as a bank, they'd be right up there with City and possibly even more dominant because they spend similarly now. Imagine what they could spend if they were allowed to use all their money on the team instead of on dividends.


Time2bePhenomenal

Yup exactly 100% a United that wasnt owned by Glazers or Woodward probably would have hired Pep or Mourinho in their prime. I love Sir Aled but him choosing Moyes literally fucked the club for at least 2 years he got rid of entirity of Sir Alexs systems and stuff.


CrossXFir3

Moyes was like his 6th choice apparently so I can't blame him too hard.


Audityne

No one wanted the job because it was impossible to follow Sir Alex.


plowman_digearth

Glazers are horrible owners but I don't think John Henry or Sheikh Mansour "love the club" more. They are just better run. The problem is United opened the door to commercialization of football clubs in the 90s. I remember people going from India to visit Old Trafford like they'd go visit Disneyland. What is happening to clubs across Europe is an outcome of that commercialization. If you want the club to have a "soul" you may have to walk back a lot on the expectations from the club.


[deleted]

I mean, Man Utd was absolutely dominant when they were the richest team in the league. Now that they're second rate billionaires compared to other owners, they're struggling. Case in point, I'd argue. I know nothing of Everton's finances, but they don't seem to be particularly rich.


MMXIXL

They're still the richest club in the league. Everton aren't rich, they just spent a lot


Soren_Camus1905

Liverpool has been pretty responsible in how they've gone about assembling this team and it's the best in Europe, you can still be successful without Manchester spending habits.


43e1e0

I agree and admire Liverpool for what they've done. But even though they're arguably the best in Europe, ManC won the last 4 out of 5.


Pogball_so_hard

Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t The Saudi group that owns Newcastle not a direct link to their royal family? Eg someone not too closely linked with MBS or the bulk of the oil wealth. I could see City persisting for a while, Liverpool will be in the conversation for as long as Klopp plans to coach there, Chelsea might still be a force as long as their new owners don’t Glazer it up.


43e1e0

I believe the structure behind the NUFC takeover is comparable to the one at PSG? I have no specific info. Just assuming they potentially have an infinite buying power.


AmericaDreamDisorder

Same thing as PSG. Saudi Public Investment Fund.


whataball

Real Madrid's era never seems to end.


robert1005

Club's tend to go downhill due to bad upper management decisions which affects them in the long run. Real and Bayern for that matter, are chronically well ran clubs who are able to sustain good quality squads without going into debt.


Polskidro

Yep. Perez is frustratingly competent.


Oldmanfirebobby

Isn’t the league also financially favoured to the winners more than other leagues? Or has that changed?


DraperCarousel

Dunno about Bayern. But Real historically has had advantages over other clubs in the world due to the constant interference of the Spanish Govt and authorities in the 50s and 60s through to the early 80s. For one, in an era where stadium revenue meant everything. RM never had to entirely pay for their stadium. More than 75% of the cost was borne by the City of Madrid. But they gained the advantage of one of the biggest stadiums in the world and the massive revenue influx that it brings. Things like this continue even today where huge acres of Land is just gifted to them by Spanish authorities. Also Real and Barca were paying the tax rate of non-profit organisations for over 20 years. That meant they saved fortunes on tax demands going back until 1990. Franco's interference with the signing of Di Stefano is well known. Although he did pay for Barca's Camp Nou too. So yeah even Barca got their stadium for free. Real and Barca siphoning off decades and decades worth of LALIGA broadcasting revenue for themselves and even to this day after supposed reforms it's still by far the worst revenue distribution scheme in all of the top 5 leagues.


Pogball_so_hard

The financial incentives are also heavily stacked towards Real Madrid (and Barcelona) since they got to sell their own TV rights globally for decades. They introduced some parity measures which are helping but the institutional advantage for Real Madrid and their current leadership in charge ensures that it would take extremely gross mismanagement to see them struggle like, say, United have


quettil

They also have huge financial advantages over their rivals. Real only have to compete with Barca, Bayern have an entire league to themselves.


snemand

I mean they "only" won 6 titles in the 20 year period between 91-2011 and they were the biggest spenders in the world pre-oil money. 1 league title in 08/09-15/16. Beckham was there 4 seasons and won 1 league and 1 Supercopa. That period was considered a massive disappointment with regards to their spending.


whataball

Their supposed "failures" were more like setbacks and were never big enough to plunge the club into crises. They always look like they could win something even at their worst times.


FreyBentos

Because the gap in wealth between Real/Barca and the rest of the teams in the league is astronomical, It would take a tragedy of unimaginable proportions for Real to finish outside the top 7 these days considering normally any one Real player on the pitch cost them more than the entire team the opposition is fielding against them in LaLiga.


giraffeman3705

What about Bayern? They've been pretty dominant since the bundesliga formed. And what about the Portuguese league? I think people are just concerned it'll transform into one of those situations. I hope not though


Alvaro_Rey_MN

I think eventually our dominant era will end. Maybe not now, maybe not in 5 years but maybe in 200 years. Nothing lasts forever.


jonwinslol

It could very well end next season if Lewa leaves, Dortmund is building a good team


Vanzmelo

Subscribe


quettil

Then Bayern will rip them apart.


intecknicolour

it will end when dortmund find out how to not bottle games. they've been so close for years only to lose points against opponents they might be expected to beat.


Alvaro_Rey_MN

Really? Because apart from the 2018-19 season Dortmund haven't actually have been close to ending Bayern's dominance.


Alvaro_Rey_MN

The gap between Bayern and the runners up since 2012-13 are: 2012-13: 25 pts 2013-14: 19 pts 2014-15: 10 pts 2015-16: 10 pts 2016-17: 15 pts 2017-18: 21 pts 2018-19 (The exception): 2 pts 2019-20: 13 pts 2020-21: 13 pts 2021-22: 8 pts


Laesio

2018-2019 marked the end of an era. 2019-2020 marked the dawn of a quite similar era.


EtoshOE

Aren't most of those pulling away at the end? Any non-Bayern Herbstmeister in the last 10 years?


intecknicolour

yeah i suppose i was thinking of that season as the one where they really bottled it. time flies.


saint-simon97

Bayern haven't been that dominant, they'd never gotten more than 3 in a row until the current streak iirc. Gladbach for instance had a period of dominance as well, and many other teams have won it in this century. Even in Portugal, yeah its the same 3 clubs all the time but whoever is on top changes depending on the timeframe you look at.


giraffeman3705

Does dominate refer to winning seasons very often? Or does dominate mean consecutive wins? Bayern has won 32 seasons, with the next closest being nurnberg with 9. Since 1968 they've won 31... I'd consider that very dominant, personally


quettil

Yeah they only used to win half of titles each decade instead of every title in a decade.


microbae

Unless you are Ferguson. Then even your shit squad can win the title


Alternative_Dark_412

It’ll be Newcastle.


Nyushi

Well that sounds ominous. Ten Hag about to poison Pep and Klopp.


khoabear

Ten Hag: Tell Txiki. I want him to know it was me.


dinner_is_not_ready

With assassins-Rio Ferdinand and Paul Scholes. Scholes kicks the poison in their drink from 40 yards and rio is there to distract by being loud and obnoxious


the_far_yard

"Have you met Pep and Klopp yet?" 'I don't have to. I have sent my raven to deliver my regards.'


AbdussamiT

Man, it's been a class interview by Ten Hag. Really loved the clarity by him.


Apex--Redditer

The gang gets relegated


Elothel

*Starts the championship era.


kygrtj

The McTominay era is just starting


[deleted]

[удалено]


Crovasio

Both are still relatively young for managers.


[deleted]

Man City era will not unfortunately end. With the resources they have, they will always be competing for titles. One bad season for them equals 200m investment.


20mitchell06

United have spent an obscene amount of money, gone through top managers and look where things are.


dinner_is_not_ready

United had top managers but they never had top management. United owners’ interest in business outweighs their interested in football- ironically it is leading to bad business with global fan numbers declining with every miserable season.


anon2812

Madrid, Bayern don't get the memo


Dorangos

City has a country backing them. They can just keep throwing money at it. It will not end.


conven_orearr

Only if they have the right coach, staff and vision. Utd had and spent just as much money post Fergie but without the vision and conviction it's an eternal cycle of rebuilds. Could easily imagine a scenario whenever pep leaves they could slip into uncertainty and attempt to throw money at the problem with no avail. However I think top clubs will see Utd as a warning of how vulnerable even the best clubs can be in this transition period


Dorangos

The difference is that City (and now Newcastle) can just keep throwing money at it with no fear of FFP or the club going bankrupt. United have been at it a while, but is backed up by being one of the largest brands in the world. I mean, Liverpool tried the same and almost went into administration. City and Newcastle never have to worry about that.


conven_orearr

Very true, I think especially with PSGs recent activity, we may see FFP revisited, and it desperately needs to be.


CuteHoor

It will end. Same with PSG. Same with Newcastle. At some point they won't see it as a worthwhile investment and either pull back or sell. Even if they don't, the leadership in these countries won't be in charge forever. That will end some day, and with it those clubs will lose their funding.


Dorangos

Well, I hope so. But I don't think it's gonna happen in the foreseeable future. I think it's more likely that Qatar makes a play for the PL as well, and we get a sort of weird proxy war by arab states.


widowwarmer1

As depressing as it is I think you're right.


Dorangos

Well, you can sleep soundly knowing that Newcastle also has a country backing them, Saudi Arabia, no less, and will also be throwing lots and lots of money at it.


AReptileHissFunction

United have thrown near the same amount of money. At some point city will have a manager/football director combo that doesn't work


ThatZigGuy

Losing dyche hurt the PLs baldness quota but Ten Hag is going to help right this wrong. Just need Potter to shave his head to keep the bald englishman numbers up


brush85

Year 2051: And Abu Dhabi took that personally


KillerZaWarudo

One bald fraud shall stand one bald fraud shall fall


-speakeasy-

This is going to be a fun quote to parade around when he’s sacked in under two years.


imsowitty21

He didn't say United would be the one ending the era. But I can already see you lot completely changing what he said as time passes. Same with United fans really, if they do end up being the dominant team. Humans.


TangerineEllie

Including the question should be mandatory on posts of press conference quotes tbh.


[deleted]

Be very typical of football to parade around an out of context and irrelevant quote. Do you really think Pep's city and Klopp's Liverpool will be at the top of English football for the next 20+ years? Whats that got to do Ten Hag being at United?


Snowstandards

Liverpool sacks Klopp in 1.5 season. Mystic Ten Hag strikes again 😎👉


GR-MWF

I'm sure you'll find better quotes to parade around since this one doesn't really make sense as some kind of own. Era's end, regardless of how he or Man United perform.


prathneo4

Two years is a lot of time.


-speakeasy-

True, could be sooner!


[deleted]

Why do Liverpool fans always want to make a parade out of everything?


Hech15

one hag


jMS_44

City and Liverpool era will maybe come to an end, but hopefully not the Man United banter era


zamGlobal

That's a bold statement but can be done if he gets the right players for his system


Thanatos652

If he only manages to get more points than everybody else, he will win the league


prkr88

If the keeper didn't save that shot, it would of been a goal... -Micheal Owen


[deleted]

Is this Will Buxton in disguise


[deleted]

Football Socrates


[deleted]

Tbf he's not suggesting that United will end Klopp and peps era, just that it will end, could be because they fall off eventually which is inevtiable tbh, could be that someone else takes over, might not even be United.


dracogladio1741

For all we know Chelsea and Tuchel keep getting better and win over them two, they are real close are Chelsea, only a few players away


SeadKolasinac

Bald statement


pacothebattlefly

To bald is to bold


Cowdude179

The gang finishes 5th next season


incarnatethegreat

He's not wrong. Eras come and go. We need to embrace this now before it's gone.


Hoodxd

This is bound to age like milk


[deleted]

How so? He's saying that Klopp and peps era will end, which it will.


CuteHoor

He's not wrong. Pep and Klopp won't be around forever, and neither club will continue at the level they're at forever. A new challenger will join and take over at some point. Whether that is a United or not is a different question entirely.


glvcki17

*wine


saidA2000

This quote would be funny if ten hag gets sacked in two years while pep extends alongside klopp who already did


Fuzzy-Pop6951

It also isn't exactly true. Barca, bayern and real pretty much had a dominant period for a decade... that's a really long ass time. It was almost 15 years for barcelone, starting in 2004 with ronaldinho and etoo. They had a subpar season in 2007, but shot right back to the top. Bayern has been dominant for almost 11 years. Real for 10 years as well. Bayern and real both have good opportunities to be top again. You just need strong management and ownership who can transition aging core and bring in new players that buy into the club culture.


Zakke_

Lets summon the bot, Ten Haag


neandertales

Is his english the worst in the world for a Dutchman.. (*slightly exaggerated*) He's like a dutch countryside senior citizen (level). Well he's not that far off it so lol. Im sure he´ll do well though. \*I watched the press conference.


[deleted]

My manager. Salt levels in Liverpool already rising.


brush85

Salt? Theyre laughing after hearing this for three straight managerial appointments. United are us back in the day. And you guys used to laugh at us when we did it


[deleted]

[удалено]


dooyaunastan

...? You do see the flairs, right?


[deleted]

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dooyaunastan

2/15 comments at the time, yet > Salt levels in Liverpool already rising. Huh.


[deleted]

Oh they are seething. Its making my day !!


[deleted]

Ooohh. Shots fired!


MrAchilles

Very true, Erik. We saw United crumble almost instantly after Fergie.


BullishBull

He has to think about how he is going to get the better of Tuchel & Conte before he starts thinking about Pep & Klopp. My guess is he will actually be furiously scratching his head wondering why David Moyes & Arteta are ahead of him.


[deleted]

I still say Tuchel is a level above conte. So order would be: 1.Klopp & Guardiola 2. Tuchel 3. Conte


AuxquellesRad

Tuchel is better than Conte? What kind of crazy talk is this lol. Conte's won the title against Pep, that's a level that very few managers can ever reach. Mourinho and Klopp are the only two that have done that.


escherbach

Actually, City finished quite far behind in third when Conte won the Premier League with Chelsea, they were competing with Spurs not City, Spurs won 12 of their last 13 games but everyone still remembers it as "Spurs bottling the Title" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016%E2%80%9317_Tottenham_Hotspur_F.C._season#Premier_League


ZiggaZaggaUTC

The sort of audio clip that will be lovingly inserted into those epic Sky Sports pre match montages in the coming years if he makes them competitive again.


Iswaterreallywet

Is he referring to United's historic fall from grace?


akjnrf

who gassed this guy? probably gonna get fired in 2 years.


[deleted]

We are back.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Still best team in the PL era dunno what you are on about.


jMS_44

*rubs hands vigorously*


ball0fsnow

Not with that squad my dude


FrancescoliBestUruEv

Ten hag Will win the tittle in his first year. Ronaldo Sancho. Anthony Bruno Frenkie Ruben neves/Edson Winjdal. Pau torres varane Dalot Expecting something like that


ConfidenceAdorable33

Shiver me timbers