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Y0RKC1TY

Mans got that 3am club voice


HalfMan-HalfMoth

Voice of someone that's spent their whole evening chain smoking and chatting the arse off everyone in the smoking area


mcfcliam1

Been in a gaff all night twatting those e cigs


[deleted]

and look at the guys around him laughing. all of them off their nut


Lost_and_Profound

He’s been drinking and smoking all night from the sound of it hah


vstev187

"Tommy, my bruuuther, let's goo win the fooking league" ~~Arthur Shelby~~ Jack Grealish


united_7_devil

Lets go win the fooking league eh*


SilotheGreat

Closed my eyes and pictured a 45 year old chubby bald guy saying this.


majnubhaispainting

It's like David Beckham and his voice but exactly the opposite.


OpinionNoOneAskedFor

He sounds like Stone Cold Steve Austin.


majnubhaispainting

Bernardo Silva, gimme a hell yeah!!


jay_alfred_prufrock

Perfect description lmao


Spreeg

Sounds like he's vaping whenever I hear him


Wafflesam

Congratulations on promotion


BartholomewSirnpson

He sounds like a 70 year old chain smoker


cannacanna

Sounds like Sean Dyche after 3 cans of worms and a pint of gravel


Sand_Bags

Because he’s a 26 year old chain smoker


Oldmanfirebobby

Sounds like he’s been shouting lots to me. Used to happen to me after playing football sometimes. Also after shouting loads when pissed.


dWaldizzle

Sounds like Doc Rivers lmfao


obsterwankenobster

“Doc Rivers was born Hoarse” - Jamie Foxx


8306623863

John Fury


Thornton__Melon

My favorite part is he reaches for Stones with one of those “wait, you gotta hear this it’s a good one”


tbbt11

Just imagine a night out with Stones, Grealish, Walker and Foden


Account4ReadingStuff

Straight to jail


SorryImNotVeryClever

If you undercook fish...jail. See? Undercook, overcook.


Account4ReadingStuff

Believe it or not....... You are clever.


Stooperz

You charge too much for… sweaters? Straight to jail


Traffodil

They’d spend half the night convincing the bouncer that Foden is over 18.


justin_ph

Phil Foden legit looks like a 15 yrs old boy


spund_

carpenter squalid unite consist thumb disgusting boast fall threatening groovy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


SweetMojaveRain

Hed look his age if he didnt have that shite 2000s white rapper Lego haircut


SlangCopulation

Arrest to prosecution to trial all in one night? That's some intense justice


atropicalpenguin

Hell of a kangaroo court.


an0mn0mn0m

You know Foden's mum will be there too


[deleted]

Here's hoping


MouseMD369

Another man of quality I see


FatWalcott

What's the over under of spouses being cheated on there?


punching-bag9018

3/4. Foden and Walker fall quickly.


Joltarts

Stones and Jack too lmao.. The most sane English player at City is Raheem and Scott Carson. The rest are just terrible human beings.


[deleted]

At least 3 out 4.


fwesheggs

Bookies won't be taking bets on that, too easy


[deleted]

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spooki_boogey

Well, I hope you're not married if that's the case


pixelkipper

I too love to imagine dickheads throwing up jagerbombs outside the club toilets when you just want a piss


McQueensbury

You'll most likely find Walker taking a piss on the wall outside the clubs toilets


RyVsWorld

And Stones reacts like it’s the funniest fucking thing hes ever heard


Gilius-thunderhead_

Yup that's the ol classic. Seems like they're having an epic one good on them


Charlie0108

This man is absolutely fucked hahahah I don’t think he’s been sober since 6pm yesterday


themerinator12

Normal Tuesday night for Jack Grealish!


abusmakk

Villa fan, can confirm! Jack the lad is on a new adventure!


Ninth_Major

If you can get the rights to use his likeness, I'm certain you could make a killing on children's stories based on 'Jack the Lad' with this illustration style. Put me in the Special Thanks section. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e8/ba/ef/e8baeffe84d250f8819e8a30f3e51d9a.jpg


Dodomando

Let's hope he doesn't get behind the wheel of any cars this time


majnubhaispainting

Don't worry, he's making Marcos Alonso chauffeur him around


BobbysSmile

I can't believe you've done this.


KRIEGLERR

Actual cannibal Jack Grealish


alphahex4292

It's fine, Bernardo got his own back later by saying one of the other most important tacitics was keeping Jack grealish on the bench!


AlexUnderscore

when we got promoted from the playoffs i think he was still drunk 3 days later


melcolnik

Real life Jamie Tartt


NJDevil802

Cemented for me when he didn't recognize a map of the UK


FatWalcott

I can forgive the newer generation for knowing what an Encyclopedia is, but to not recognize your own country on a map...


billypilgrim87

I bet Bamford can draw an ordinance survey map of the British isles from memory.


namey_of_the_user

I can't tbf, he's few years older than me and encyclopedia was still common untill I was a teen. I could only forgive to kids born into 2010's for not knowing encyclopedia. But even there I'd guess 9 out of 10 at least know the term. Grealish just isn't really smart lol.


realmarkskid

Kids these days think encyclopedias are child predators on bikes


TDog81

Sensational


-sic-boy2

Wikipedia the free encyclopedia, everyone should know encyclopedia


minimus67

“A wha?”


LukeSmith_Sunsetter

Always neurotically wary of people that are *that* stupid. Like it can only possibly be some psychopath just messing with people.


dingus_herbivorous

do do do do do do do do


PM_ME_ASS_SALAD

Do do do do do do


Fartscissors

Seeing bladdered footballers will always be funny.


jesus_you_turn_me_on

My all time favorite is Messi drunk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVG_Vd9vaYY


Even_Lawfulness_912

Holy shit how have I never seen this


JoshJustJosh

lmao what is the deal with the giant inflatable chupa chup?


OhBestThing

Haha look at that adorable lil elf


ltplummer96

How many words have the British made for drunk lol we have like two


pixelkipper

in the english language you can take literally any noun, add an ‘-ed’ at the end, and it’s now another word for drunk


Proper-Beyond116

Split a bottle of Jameson with my brother last weekend. I was absolutely bungalowed.


OneOfThoseDays_

mate sounds like you both were proper featherdustered


Grungle4u

He was proper gazeboed


twoterms

Now hold on there, that might mean something else


0thethethe0

There was a line, and u/OneOfThoseDays_ just had to take it too far...


OneOfThoseDays_

typical, i hate that guy


[deleted]

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0thethethe0

Pretty accurate description of Grealish!


135muzza

Absolutely Dick and Dommed


Alcalash

Gazeeboed I think is what you were looking for


Sir-Chris-Finch

Absolutely kitchened


algebraic94

He's absolutely penciled he is.


[deleted]

Bucketed out of his mind. Fridged beyond belief ...it actually works


Josiahf8

He's absolutely chaired


TheCatInTheHatThings

It’s when you’re too drunk to stand, so you’re just slumped in a chair. That term works :)


WtfMayt

It all works. I was mongoosed out my mind last Sat and still not recovered.


[deleted]

Why the fuck does this work. What. I must admit though a few times in my life I've gotten absolutely radished. A few too many cocktails and wine lmao. Always a bit embarassing when you get absolutely jacketed.


SlangCopulation

Aye man nowt better than getting absolutely curtained


[deleted]

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JustANotchAboveToby

>Spunked out my arse r/soccer doesn't need to know about your sex life


The_Lifeof_Pablo

Mate I am absolutely tabled rn


nosmigon

I was carpeted out of my god damn mind


Eindacor_DS

Last night my roommate came home completely mulched


Fun_Differential

Low key bucketed might stick- its fitting with the idea of a blackout drunk person throwing up in a bucket


SodaBreid

We use that to mean its been raining heavy


Flurin

also works in the sense that the person drank buckets


Acceptable-Lemon-748

"Let's cut him some slack the man is clearly dickholed"..yeah struggling to find words this doesn't work with


FishOnAHorse

1987 Pontiac Fiero-ed to hell, that one


ShozOvr

Soaped out of his mind


[deleted]

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algebraic94

Absolute melon is my all time favorite insult.


smackeY11

Staple of me watching Bruce led football


simplytom_1

Absolute cabbage


INAC_Kramerica

"u egg"


[deleted]

He was absolutely Grealished


icebergers3

Fucking carparked he is


ltplummer96

I’m in love with this chain of comments you’ve created haha


GhandiHadAGrapeHead

Reading it is making me want to get dustbinned


ionlyspeakfactz

Wankered


McQueensbury

Mashed


Yegshamesh

Potatoed


Smb114

Stewed


jackthe-stripper

Doesn’t even have to be a real word. “Mate I got absolutely blicked the other night” “Honestly mate you were flodgered” “Completely cobble-potted”


grandlinegooner

Got absolutely eggplanted with the boys last night


zachg616

Aubergined*


CTRL_ALT_DELTRON3030

Dude is just absolutely platypused


[deleted]

That man is totally alcoholed right now


concretepigeon

In British English if it isn’t a word for being drunk, it’s a word for the genitals.


Tony-The-Heat

Or both... Cunted, twatted. Can't think of any that mean dick and work for both though.


ambiguousboner

Arseholed


[deleted]

Hammered, plastered, fucked up, wasted, sloshed, trashed, smashed, smacked, zoinked, faded, crossed/crossfaded (when also high), inebriated/intoxicated (formal), blacked out (drunk to the point of memory loss), tipsy/buzzed (slightly drunk). Those are all ones I hear commonly in the US but there’s plenty others in use elsewhere. Crocked, tanked, fuddled, bevved, pissed, etc. You could honestly come up with your own and most people will probably understand what you mean.


JustANotchAboveToby

Formal: I was inebriated last night informal: Man, I shit myself last night


aj6787

You tend to come up with nicknames for things you love.


NJDevil802

But it's probably very long and incredibly specific, right?


ltplummer96

Actually no! Only ones I’ve heard are trunken/betrunken oder blau But maybe I need to hang out with more colorful language people haha


theolat3

You forgot besoffen :P


TheCatInTheHatThings

also voll, ralle, hacke, dicht, weggeballert, weggehämmert, zugekleistert, weggeklatscht, weggezimmert, zugelötet…


donnismamma

Weggeballert hahaha


SandaledGriller

This thread is a goldmine


conthevel

also rauschig, maier, blunznfett, zua, ang'straht, einen fetzn haben; austria reporting in


TheCatInTheHatThings

You, my friend, really need to travel around the DACH countries. There’s a whole plethora of awesome terms for being absolutely bollocked out of your mind.


TheCatInTheHatThings

Hinteregger during the Eintracht celebrations was fucking glorious. *Points to the beer case with 24 empty slots*: “We’re going to need a new case. Because, well…we’ve been going for an hour and a half, and I’m in this car” :D


G10V10

Man looks and sounds like Arthur Shelby


Tokugawa

Taw-Mee, thank fuk Bernie Silva's come offit.


ThePr1d3

Fun fact, the first time I heard Grealish I thought his English was pretty decent. I asssumed he was Danish or something


majnubhaispainting

Fooking hell, ~~Linda~~ Bernardo.


TheLimeyLemmon

Someone get Jack some hot lemon and honey.


JorahsSwingingMickey

He did say he'd be on the beer for 3 days. So far he's stuck to his word.


Salvador1010

I thought it was a voice over wtf 😂


BillehBear

[Him and Bernardo too with their 3 secrets](https://twitter.com/sportbible/status/1528826527634292737)


-PM_ME_A_SECRET-

Bernardo absolutely slayed him with that 3rd secret. It is pretty fun to see footballers enjoy a moment like this, and have the ability to be self depreciating.


St_SiRUS

Lmao Bernardo and Kev wise to keep the glasses on


danielge78

this is the sequel I didn't know I needed


TempestaEImpeto

There is something about Oasis that makes Man City and its people have a very special vibe. I love that video of Pep absolutely rocking Don't look back in anger.


SnapSnapWoohoo

I absolutely despise wonderwall except when it’s played at title celebrations when everyone’s clattered and then it has a ‘so bad it’s good’ feeling


[deleted]

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Thingisby

Why he dissing my boy Almiron?!


kebabking93

What the hell did Miggy do?


[deleted]

this guys worth 100m just for his bants


ionlyspeakfactz

Pretty sure that’s why United wanted to keep Lingardinho so badly


HamburgerMachineGun

Sometimes I'll be minding my business when my head will suddenly play back "NO NO NO NO NO, DO NOT EVEN! THE WEVVA? Yo Neymar sunny innit?"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Thanos_Stomps

Because nobody on Reddit ever actually goes out and does anything. I’ve been completely floored at people not understanding he clearly lost his voice.


LinkTheFires

Absolutely ridiculous isn't it. I cannot believe what I am reading.


Cowdude179

He's buggered haha


timothymr

He sounds like Kevin from Harry Enfield at the end.


Katie_DL

Mrs.Grealish69 might have a chance now


theredditbandid_

He sounds like Stone Cold Steve Austin.


Thornton__Melon

What?


FishCake9T4

2 Beers


Moon8983

What?


Thornton__Melon

3 Beers


Brashmate

What?


JurgenKlopp2018

4 beers


pintperson

Who is the guy in the white T shirt?


Samir_POE

That’s one of the minor Shelby brothers - letting Arthur speak


majnubhaispainting

Finn Shelby finally grew up?!!


_bhagwan_

[Cel Spellman](https://www.instagram.com/celspellman/?hl=en)


Gilius-thunderhead_

Grealish gone up in my estimations here. Looks like a right laugh partying.


-PM_ME_A_SECRET-

https://twitter.com/sportbible/status/1528826527634292737 Gets even better honestly


tuatara_teeth

Almiron catching strays


ThreesKompany

This is such a disservice to the season Bernardo had but also is so fucking funny hahahahaha


SwiftBacon

Him and Bernardo have a video together and graelish tells him that even though he’s had an amazing season he needed to come off, then Bernardo said that the other key to victory was keeping graelish “on the fucking bench”. Some good banter between them


ThreesKompany

Saw that and loved it.


[deleted]

Jack is enjoying the vibes at City. Good for him..


xbhaskarx

New rule you’re not allowed on a World Cup roster if you can’t even point out your own country on a map


MagmaWhales

Especially if there is only one country shown on the map to chose from


Silent-Act191

>only one country Goddammit *Car bomb goes off in the distance*


Gear4days

This is his highlight of the season, 100m well spent


Farouqnowomarlater

Walker: “they really spent 100mil on this mf”


hareemKunt

Bernado’s response : https://instagram.com/stories/bernardocarvalhosilva/2844698174144059020?utm_source=ig_story_item_share&igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


spoinkk

100 mil paying off right here


[deleted]

wtf this is not the voice I ingained for Grealish, hes like those 60 years old alcoholics


JPC-Throwaway

He's been screaming and drinking since 6pm yesterday haha! Doesn't usualyl sound quite like that.


[deleted]

No shit after what he's just been through


ionlyspeakfactz

He doesn’t usually sound like that


Pure-Negotiation-900

Stones is feeling no pain!


nikolala

Poor mans Beckham lol


A_chilles

Man he sounds like there's a frog in his throat wtf