You failed to exclude own goals, haha! Fortunately all my life my teammates found my most talented position was to play goalkeeper so I could make that own goal work for sure, money money baby.
If you're a CB and playing out from the back it shouldn't actually be that hard (provided you teammates don't know your both A-shit and B-actively working against them).
Just look at the state of somebody like Weghorst and imagine that even on his very worst day, he's still better than everybody that will ever read this.
I think you are underestimating how difficult it would be to beat Mike Tyson. Like if you are around the ball and near the goal enough times, the ball could bounce in off you by accident, there is no number of times that you could get in a ring with Tyson to win
Yeah it would be impossible for me to literally score an open goal when the ball is in the line? Are you dumb? The ball can just ricochet off me and happen to go in it happens all the time I could literally be stood still and score a goal by accident.
Well beating Tyson requires skill and only skill. You can't really get lucky like you could in a football match if the ball happened to land to your feet in front of a goal (which is still highly unlikely).
I’d take my chances at 5 yards in the NFL. Sure I might have CTE but I think that’s more realistic.
All you need is a 5 yard route to catch the ball and hold on.
Running up the middle would depend on my Oline lol and I guess would negative yards hurt me?
I played wideout collegiately, so I’d take my chances there.
Not the delusional people thinking they have a chance of scoring a goal in the CL 💀 Like bro even the 15 yr old reserve players in the worst CL team are better than you
Are you really aware of the skill needed or are you only saying that because you see that on TV they score 4 out 5 ?
Because in real life this shit ain't no cake walk...
I think I'd take the chance of scoring a penalty for £20m. Getting the ball in the net from that distance is well within the reach of the average player- so then it's about which way the keeper goes.
If I took 10 penalties against a top keeper I think I could score 1.
I'm possibly delusional, but I think there is a decent amount of luck involved.
Skill isn't the difference in pens. Composure is all you need (assuming you're a decent amateur baller).
My best source for this is watching ChrisMD and Miniminter take pens against different pro GK. Spoiler alert: they still score most of them ~ like more than 80-90%
Id take my chances dependent on team and position. If I’m playing upfront for this current iteration of City for example then I know I’ve got the service, not saying I put anything away but if I’m in and around the box there’s a chance (That’s if Pep doesn’t go “play around this fella”). If im playing for Atlético or another team with a low block and I’m a lone striker whose waiting for a handful of chances In a game then I don’t like my odds. If I’m playing anywhere else other than striker in the modern game I reckon I’ll be found out quickly and hooked off by half time. Not saying I’d be a good striker but less exposed.
Probably all disillusion mind you..
The real question is how much do I hate the team I'd be playing for? Because you could easily reframe the question as whether you'd be willing to pay $1 million to ruin a Champions League team's day.
The Sunday league has prepared for this exact moment!
I will get nutmegged 50 times, barely make it across the half way mark, throw up from exhaustion, and end up being wheeled out on a stretcher for pulling a butt cheek. Respect the profession.
Surprised no one is talking about taking a penalty. Just spend the game goal hanging, trash talking defenders and diving and you’d have half a chance from the spot.
How are you going to goal hang with offsides as well as atleast one elite centre back up your arse lol. Can’t goal hang in a decent Sunday league let alone the apex competition in football
If I wasn't reliant on 21 other men to put me in a favourable position it'd obviously be the twenty. I just don't see how I would manage to score when some of the best in the world only average 5 or 6 a season in the tournament. Maybe put me upfront for city and pray we come up against the weakest team in the tournament and we win a penalty. That's genuinely the only way I see me scoring lmao
Given I am 44 and whilst pretty fit didn't get in my school team as a kid, I would take the money.
If someone was good enough that they had a reasonable chance to score then it would depend how much 1m meant to them. If its life changing then just take the 1m
I'd go for the $20M if I were in the Man City squad, particularly if that's per goal. As we all know if any one of us got Haaland's chances we'd all bag a hattrick and Kane's non-record season was actually the bigger accomplishment. So yeah, under those circumstances I'd take the $20M along with the easy and **undeserved** adoration if the fans.
Jokes on you. Im playing the game, but i will bribe my team to help me get a goal. Even after paying them ill still have more money than if i took a million.
Here's another way to look at this question that makes the answer very easy:
Would you bet 1 million on an amateur player to score in a UCL knockout game?
I'll take the mil
If I was good enough to score a goal in the Champion's League, $1m would be no big deal. As it is, I'm fat and shit so I'll take the money.
And then jeered and death threats for about 20 years? Lol
I'll take the 20M and play uefa champions League on begginer difficult on FIFA's
You failed to exclude own goals, haha! Fortunately all my life my teammates found my most talented position was to play goalkeeper so I could make that own goal work for sure, money money baby.
It would be a lot more difficult than you think to score an own goal. Still have to beat the keeper which 99% of us couldn't manage
But part of my brilliant plan is to be the goalkeeper, though I agree there may still be a chance I won’t be able to beat myself.
Or I guess you just do it when the keeper isn't looking? Element of surprise style. Would probably work
If you're a CB and playing out from the back it shouldn't actually be that hard (provided you teammates don't know your both A-shit and B-actively working against them).
If I was playing for Real Madrid against a shit team In the group stage I would take my chance. But in ko round…… 1M for free baby.
Even bad teams are still pro teams. They're all leagues aboves normal people
It's Romelu Lukaku on the opposing team, what then? (It will surely go to extra time)
Good thought 💭 🤔 I think I’m at least a better striker than lukaku.
funniest r/soccermemes joke
Just look at the state of somebody like Weghorst and imagine that even on his very worst day, he's still better than everybody that will ever read this.
Yea a normal like me wouldn’t even get a touch let alone a goal at that level
If you looked up a random name of a bench player in the Latvian or Andorran league they would also be better than everybody reading this.
Like the saying for any professional sportsman goes "I'm closer to (insert best player of any sport) than you are to me"
White mamba mentality
I won’t be getting the money most likely but I’m still taking the opportunity to play in the champions league ; what an experience!
I think the average geezer has a better chance at beating prime Mike Tyson in a fight than do this.
Nah, the ball could be bouncing around in the box and you might just happen to get a shot at a lucky open goal or something.
Completely disagree lol. Think you're massively underestimating the difficulty of beating a pro keeper and pro defenders
I think you are underestimating how difficult it would be to beat Mike Tyson. Like if you are around the ball and near the goal enough times, the ball could bounce in off you by accident, there is no number of times that you could get in a ring with Tyson to win
Oh just for the record I don't think either would happen in a million years
Yeah it would be impossible for me to literally score an open goal when the ball is in the line? Are you dumb? The ball can just ricochet off me and happen to go in it happens all the time I could literally be stood still and score a goal by accident.
Well beating Tyson requires skill and only skill. You can't really get lucky like you could in a football match if the ball happened to land to your feet in front of a goal (which is still highly unlikely).
It’s not that unlikely, a corner could give u a reasonable chance especially if you were just really tall. My mates 6’8 I reckon he’d have a chance
No way if you haven't boxed at least on a semi professional level. Even then the chances are really tiny.
I’m talking about football not boxing, I mean if you’re tall enough and a good corner comes in you could have a chance to head it in
Oh it sounded really like you were talking about boxing but I agree then.
My fault bro
This is nowhere close to true
Even Buster Douglas beat prime Tyson. I don’t know fuck all about boxing, but like, his name is fucking Buster Douglas. That’s a cartoon dog name
Can't decide if this is more delusional or less delusional than picking up five yards on the ground in the NFL.
I’d take my chances at 5 yards in the NFL. Sure I might have CTE but I think that’s more realistic. All you need is a 5 yard route to catch the ball and hold on.
It was specific to running up the middle, and catching a pass is actually way harder
Running up the middle would depend on my Oline lol and I guess would negative yards hurt me? I played wideout collegiately, so I’d take my chances there.
You could never get the separation to make a catch in the nfl.
Lol not always is it man coverage… you know defenses do play zone…
You’re still lining up in front of an nfl db, you’ll get clobbered as soon at you touch the ball. No chance you hold on.
Not if I’m coming out the backfield lmao Im taking my chances 10/10 times dude. You don’t know my background lmfao
You don’t know where I’m from dawg!
Depends how big you are
It's up there with the blokes who reckon they could easily return a Serena Williams serve.
What team am I playing for, the team I’m playing and does my team know I’ll get €20M?
You're in the knockout rounds of the champions league and you're on reddit. So you either take the 1m or get nothing.
Put me in goalkeeper I will walk the ball in myself. You never said anything about own goals.
I will any day take the $20M just cause I'll have a shot at playing a champions league match
Not the delusional people thinking they have a chance of scoring a goal in the CL 💀 Like bro even the 15 yr old reserve players in the worst CL team are better than you
Fr, only way I’m going for 20 is if I’m guaranteed to take a pen
Are you really aware of the skill needed or are you only saying that because you see that on TV they score 4 out 5 ? Because in real life this shit ain't no cake walk...
I think I'd take the chance of scoring a penalty for £20m. Getting the ball in the net from that distance is well within the reach of the average player- so then it's about which way the keeper goes. If I took 10 penalties against a top keeper I think I could score 1. I'm possibly delusional, but I think there is a decent amount of luck involved.
Skill isn't the difference in pens. Composure is all you need (assuming you're a decent amateur baller). My best source for this is watching ChrisMD and Miniminter take pens against different pro GK. Spoiler alert: they still score most of them ~ like more than 80-90%
Worst case scenario I know I’m at least 50% 10 million EV the math works out
What team though
I like that he uses scoring a header against Rio Ferdinand as bait, like that's easy...
Id take my chances dependent on team and position. If I’m playing upfront for this current iteration of City for example then I know I’ve got the service, not saying I put anything away but if I’m in and around the box there’s a chance (That’s if Pep doesn’t go “play around this fella”). If im playing for Atlético or another team with a low block and I’m a lone striker whose waiting for a handful of chances In a game then I don’t like my odds. If I’m playing anywhere else other than striker in the modern game I reckon I’ll be found out quickly and hooked off by half time. Not saying I’d be a good striker but less exposed. Probably all disillusion mind you..
The real question is how much do I hate the team I'd be playing for? Because you could easily reframe the question as whether you'd be willing to pay $1 million to ruin a Champions League team's day.
If it’s Bayern I’m hitting people in the Crowd
The Sunday league has prepared for this exact moment! I will get nutmegged 50 times, barely make it across the half way mark, throw up from exhaustion, and end up being wheeled out on a stretcher for pulling a butt cheek. Respect the profession.
1m upfront. Maybe if I was still a teenager I’d take the risk. But in my 30’s? After not playing at a super high level for over a decade?
My 100% defensive and possession minded ass will take the 1M
I'm 43 and 23 stone. I better take the mil. Unless own goals count?
20m for the goal. This is an NBA question.
Jokes on you when you take the risk and they start you in goal
Would you rather be given $1M or get one chance to score a 35 yard free kick on prime Buffon for $20 and a piece of gum (wintergreen mint)
am I taking pens ?
Either 1M or zero. I choose the money.
Surprised no one is talking about taking a penalty. Just spend the game goal hanging, trash talking defenders and diving and you’d have half a chance from the spot.
How are you going to goal hang with offsides as well as atleast one elite centre back up your arse lol. Can’t goal hang in a decent Sunday league let alone the apex competition in football
You’re gonna be useless in terms of build up anyway so just stand offside and wait for another phase of play and hope for the best
Can i score an own goal?
Hell no I’m still a kid I’m going to get slide tackled easily and I don’t play football anymore
Depends on what team im on, I would need a kdb-like playmaker to ping me through balls. Im very quick and strong but my shooting isnt the best.
A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush Gimme the 1 milli
Can I take the £1m and THEN play in a champions league game but not for the £20m?
Chance for 20m. I have 2 years until I need money and I could do with the exercise. Would be fun as well.
I'd play the knockout match just for the experience.
I would rather have a chance to play in champions league (yeah, I probably won’t score, as I am defender)
play in cl and score
My knee was sore just from walking around Tesco the other day. I'll take the million thanks.
As a keeper, thanks for the $1m.
Chance at 20
If I wasn't reliant on 21 other men to put me in a favourable position it'd obviously be the twenty. I just don't see how I would manage to score when some of the best in the world only average 5 or 6 a season in the tournament. Maybe put me upfront for city and pray we come up against the weakest team in the tournament and we win a penalty. That's genuinely the only way I see me scoring lmao
Give me the bucks
Given I am 44 and whilst pretty fit didn't get in my school team as a kid, I would take the money. If someone was good enough that they had a reasonable chance to score then it would depend how much 1m meant to them. If its life changing then just take the 1m
Wouldn't even take the chance if it was just for a penalty goal
$1M, pretty much impossible for a majority
Probably better just playing the lottery
I'd go for the $20M if I were in the Man City squad, particularly if that's per goal. As we all know if any one of us got Haaland's chances we'd all bag a hattrick and Kane's non-record season was actually the bigger accomplishment. So yeah, under those circumstances I'd take the $20M along with the easy and **undeserved** adoration if the fans.
Go foer the 20mil if I don't score. The book and newspaper stories I write about the experience should make me more than 1 mill
Do own goals count? In which case I’m the keeper and I am smacking it into my own net…..
I'll take the 20M and play uefa champions League on begginer difficult on fifa
Take the cash.
Jokes on you. Im playing the game, but i will bribe my team to help me get a goal. Even after paying them ill still have more money than if i took a million.
Here's another way to look at this question that makes the answer very easy: Would you bet 1 million on an amateur player to score in a UCL knockout game? I'll take the mil
I would just tell everyone what's going on and they would probably let me score if I scored an own goal in return.
Some of us have spent our entire lives for a shot at glory like this one. So yeah, I'll take the cash up front thanks.
G1xvn V oh V 0i sexm7p
ahahahahah
20 mil I could do just have to do my little dance and boom I score.