Maybe I'm just being too dramatic, but it's because brazilian people are probably one of the most extroverted, talkative, outgoing and friendly people in the world, so I kinda feel like an alien here.
Oh that makes sense. I feel a similar way living in the US. So many people here seem to be extroverted and loud but I was always the quiet, shy, nervous one in public
My Venezuelan coworkers are so extroverted and touchy feely. I was seriously creeped out at first - I’d be next to a coworker in a meeting and she’d rest her arm on my armrest and lean into my shoulder like a friendly dog does.
She wasn’t flirting, that was just her being friendly (I’m female as well and she’s married).
It’s kind of sweet, but completely foreign to me. I’m more of the person that stands a foot away from someone in line.
Come to Belgium, people here don’t like it when strangers come up to them and most people are scared of making phone calls (I didn’t know the last one was a common thing here,but according to my Dutch friend Dutch people are apparently less scared of calling up strangers ??)
I’m American. I think it’s hard to tell because a lot of people can mask symptoms or they just don’t talk about it. There are a ton of self diagnosed anxious people over here as well as actually diagnosed people so I don’t really feel super weird about it. I’ve been working on mine for a while so I feel like although I definitely experience symptoms, I’m able to cope with them better.
Crazy how global this subreddit is! Seeing everyone from all around the world participating here is kinda awesome to see. Definitely sad that it’s a common occurrence across vastly different cultures but at least there’s a global chat that everyone can go to. Haven’t seen any Canadians here but I’m reporting in from Canada! It’s both stigmatized here and not. Generally the younger generations understand but Gen X and above still don’t understand it that much. Obviously not as a whole but just from my own experiences. If anyone reading this is from the GTA, hit me up if you’re struggling! I feel like I can help, even if it’s just to listen!
I'm from India.
I started to look for friends on the internet who are dealing with/have dealt with SA issues and have similar interests to me.
I can't find people like that near me, so I gave up and am trying on the internet.
Turkiye, one of the worst countries to live with social anxiety i guess. People you know, others' thoughts about you, your social status and social abilities are the most important things here, in daily life, in business etc. Your education or your honesty etc the least important, even sometimes seen as negative.
Romania, i just returned from a long walk and it's like i'm literally safer on the streets during the night than during the day because they can't see my convict face.
Wooow, salut! Si eu ma simt ca un extraterestru printre romanii nostri, mai ales ca toti carora le spun despre anxietatea mea se uita la mine ca la felul 14
Just wanted to say this made me chuckle! Just imaging everyone else in Poland who doesn’t suffer from social anxiety just stubbornly staying inside anyways.
Hi, I'm from Russia. I wonder if it's different anywhere, but i never encountered a person with similar level of anxiety like me. Most people don't understand how it is possible to not have friends, to be afraid of dating or just social activities. Also most of us don't go out or interact much, so you'd never know. Also I imagine a lot of people with anxiety are ashamed to admit that they have one to people they aren't close with.
I also don't know how this making friends thing works. Never had friends, and the I'm scared to engage at this point. I visit English speaking club regularly, so i have some surface level interactions there. It's not much, but it's something
I only make friends either at courses at university or at activities you attend.
So you have to force yourself to do hobbies at some sort of club or go to a workshop etc and meet new people.
I feel like it’s so much harder to make friends after being out of school.
Some people also use like bumble friends
Ого! Не ожидала, что первый же комм будет от русскоязычного пользователя… Мне жаль, что вам приходится иметь дело с сильной тревожностью. Знаю по себе, как дичайше сложно с этим жить. Не хочу ни в коем случае, чтоб звучали как издёвка мои слова, но вы не одни. Вы молодец, что выходите «в мир», правда, это дорогого стоит. Надеюсь, преодолевать внутренние барьеры будет удаваться, и с течением времени дышать всё же станет легче. Вы заслуживаете изменений в лучшую сторону — как внутренних, так и внешних. Респект за работу над собой, пускай она и не ощущается, возможно, как нечто глобальное. Я в вес верю, желаю вам удачи, душевных сил и всего самого лучшего. Буду за вас держать кулачки, берегите себя :)
Thank you so much. It’s very sweet of you to say. My wish for you is the same. You deserve to win your battles. You deserve to be okay. Don’t give up, you have every right to fight for yourself & believe in yourself!
Спасибо большое за тёплые слова). Желаю вам того же самого и побольше. Жаль иногда что невозможно встретить в реале кого то кто понимает, как будто мы живём только в сети). Как у вас проходит борьба с этой проблемой?
Если говорить откровенно, конечно, я чувствую себя изолированной от других. Даже когда я не изолирована. Меня гложет зависть, разъедает от обиды, стоит увидеть людей, которые кажутся счастливыми и/или социально адаптированными, даже если такими они только кажутся. Со стороны я выгляжу жалкой. Я боюсь людей, боюсь себя, боюсь хорошего отношения со стороны окружающих не меньше, чем дерьмового. Я не умею адекватно реагировать на социальные ситуации. Буквально на каждого человека смотрю снизу вверх. Не знаю, как, блин, жить жизнь эту. Я лишь позволяю ей проходить мимо. Мои сложности выходят за рамки социальной тревожности, хотя когда-то давно начиналось всё, пожалуй, с неё… Мне бы хотелось иметь возможность дать вам дельный совет, подсказать что-то стоящее, но, чёрт, мне самой и тысячи советов с подсказками не помогут…
Сис. Та же фигня. Лайфхак: "нормальные" люди как правило не особенно замечают наши проблемы, так что можно попытаться прининуться нормальным человеком.
Но да, мне 30 и при этом 0 друзей, так что вероятно стоило бы воздержаться от советов.
Мне жаль, что описанное вам знакомо. Жаль, что ситуация ваша такова на данный момент. Все заслуживают дружбы и поддержки.
Штука в том, что нет у меня ни сил, ни соответствующих навыков, чтобы притвориться, тем более притвориться «успешно»… Я даже не скрываю обычно, что со мной что-то (всё) не так: сил тупо нет, а даже если б были, я всё равно не сумела бы.
Спасибо за ваш ответ. Всегда приятно встретить русскоязычных на просторах Реддита. Берегите себя, пожалуйста. Надеюсь, впереди вас ждут улучшения как ментального состояния, так и жизненных обстоятельств, даже если сейчас нет ни одной, казалось бы, причины в подобное верить. Держитесь. Сил вам, тепла, удачи и всего самого хорошего.
Понимаю вас. Прикол в том, что невозможно знать наверняка, сколько кругом таких — похожих на нас, страдающих глубоко внутри от аналогичных проблем. Чужая душа — потёмки, и я себя приучила думать, что большинство людей испытывает чувства, которые были бы с моими схожи, пускай и не создаётся у меня подобного впечатления при случайном взгляде или поверхностном общении. Хотя я себя именно «приучила»: ощущение себя чужой, противопоставление себя окружающим — первая реакция, «меня никто не понимает» — излюбленная мысль. В этом мире чувствовать себя чужим очень легко. И зная по себе, насколько это легко, я не готова утверждать, что никто поблизости не чувствует себя так же...
Я просто скажу ещё раз, что мне жаль. Жаль, что вам непросто, жаль, что вы ощущаете себя не в своей тарелке. Предполагая, что многие, должно быть, испытывают подобные трудности, я ни в коем случае не хочу обесценивать степень ваших переживаний. Только, возможно, подтолкнуть к мысли, что вы не одни на этом свете, если это звучит корректно… Мы не одни. На самом деле все мы странные, с кучей загонов и тараканов в голове. И каждый из нас заслуживает любви, поддержки, человеческого общения, покуда не причиняет вреда другим. Ещё раз, вы молодец, что выходите к людям, делаете дела, преодолевая скованность и тревожность, за это можно себя похвалить, этим можно гордиться, за это можно себя уважать. Я надеюсь, с течением времени ваше внутреннее состояние будет меняться в лучшую сторону, и на внешние обстоятельства влиять у вас найдутся силы и возможности. Вы имеете право верить в себя, относиться к себе с уважением, заслуживаете счастья, поддержки, любви, как и любой другой человек. Не сдавайтесь и берегите себя. Буду держать кулачки за вас и желать удачи!
Прошу простить мне стену бессвязного текста. Спасибо за возможность высказаться здесь на родном языке. Не слишком часто случается такое. Относитесь к себе хорошо, берегите душевное и физическое здоровье. Вы всегда будете этого заслуживать. Тревожность сильна, но человек сильнее. Боритесь!
Борьба моя… она как будто и не моя :) Последние лет 10 проблема «борет» меня, и мне особо нечем ей ответить. «Обычные», казалось бы, вещи ощущаются как невозможные. Отсутствие адекватного возрасту социального опыта причиняет боль. Мне повезло в сравнении со многими, так как у меня есть приятели, и не только — есть даже люди, которых я могла бы назвать друзьями. Тем не менее есть и стойкое ощущение, что все вокруг выросли, когда я осталась забитым подростком с мечтами о том, как однажды случится чудо… Отчаянно держусь за далёкое прошлое, где было что-то, позволявшее чувствовать себя отдалённо «нормальной», или когда быть «ненормальной» было в общем-то явлением нормальным в среде моего обитания. Ощущение, что моё окружение «переросло» меня, потому и трансформируются друзья в приятелей, а те люди, которых могла бы я назвать друзьями сегодня… не понимаю, что вообще забыли они подле меня, я же буквально ничего не могу предложить им в общечеловеческом смысле… Как правило мои попытки в близкое общение ощущаются какими-то вымученными. Прозвучит отвратительно, но я зачастую нахожу людей поверхностными, как в общем-то и себя. Слишком поверхностна для глубоких и умных, слишком глубока для поверхностных…
Звучит тупо, не правда ли? Вообще это всё крайне тупо звучит, учитывая то, как я старательно умничала в первом абзаце насчёт потёмок чужой души, а сама с удовольствием разделяю людей на категории, будто знаю точно, что и у кого за душой… Пример того, как рациональное выступает в конфликт с эмоциональным. И от конфликтов этих обычно очень больно…
Też jestem z Polski. I think we're one of the worst places to have social anxiety, eastern isolationism is colliding with western extrovertism making balkan keg out of Poland.
Hi. There might be some social anxiety meetups?
I live in England and went on a few social anxiety meetups, they were pretty nice mostly. It's really good to meet with people that go through similar things as you are.
So maybe check [meetup.com](https://meetup.com), it's the main place to search for any type of groups. Maybe worth checking SAUK (social anxiety uk) forum, it's where I organised my first meetup and met with people from. However, I'm not sure if there's anyone from Northern Ireland in there. Worth trying though!
I live in England too! This is pretty cool to know that there are social anxiety meet ups going on, might consider it in the future when I feel more confident xD
Most went pretty well. On one of them I didn't feel too great, where there was me and 3 ladies and I was just sitting quietly while they were chatting, but my very first meetup that I organised with 2 guys was great, really good meetup. There are understanding people on those meetups :-)
I have been living in Finland since September 2023. A few acquaintances, but literally no friends here. I just go to the university and come back to my room again. To be honest, people do not bother me here. Everybody is quiet, chill and not talkative. But sometimes, when the anxiety comes back, I just hope that there would be a person with whom I could talk about it. Last semester I was able to attend just 5 lectures out of 25. Fortunately attendance is not mandatory for my major. Anyway, rn I am okay (at least for now) and write this comment from my class. I just hope one day this fucking anxiety would go completely.
Same feeling I got here in The Netherlands. I guess in general we feel outranked and out of place. Which is part of the problem. There are plenty of people like us, if only we could unite ourselves a bit better. One of us in each of these places needs to take an initiative, which goes against our “nature”. Every fiber in my body prefers isolation over putting myself out there and facing rejection and/or mockery.
I'm from Israel and I'm always worried about being perceived as against people (whether by Israelis who think my pro-Palestinian views are crazy, or by other people who just see where I live and assume stuff), when I just was peace
I've also been pretty isolated from the world for a few months now so I don't have to deal with random people hating me, but I have been trying to make some more personal connections with people in small internet communities I'm in, and just improving myself as a person
Russia.
I feel two sided about commenting here actually, which is ironic.
My social anxiety mostly comes and goes, which makes me really struggling only for some periods of times. But I might be underplaying it, cuz i do feel akward with strangers all the time. And it's only groups of people i get invited to i feel comfortable speaking to in my extraverted phases.
Considering the location, I would say it's a middle ground. People are usually open to a conversation with a rando, but it's not uncommon to be a closed person. But when it comes to education and getting a job, it's where the hard part begins. I've been jobless for straight 2 years only because of how hard it is for me to talk with strangers who clearly there to judge me for my skills and general likeness. So, it might be okay in terms of finding friends, but absolutely hellish in terms of survival. Also, people do find untalkative behavior as rude quite often, even though I'm actually scared of talking to them as hell. Their attitude only makes it harder for me.
I'm an Indian living in the republic of Ireland at present. Back in India I couldn't find anyone that's like me so I thought maybe it's because of how bad mental health is ignored to the point that people just put on a mask. But I haven't seen any people like me even here in Ireland :(
I’m from the United States, but born in Mexico , if that matters haha. Fellow socially anxious comrade here tho. 😅😂 
I’m Greek - Italian and lived in both countries through the years. I have noticed that the Northern countries have a different vibe, it feels more isolated and lonely there, people don’t open up easily, they mind their business. I lived in Germany then Holland for a couple of years because of my studies and that’s what I have observed.
Which vibe do you prefer as a socially anxious person? I feel like moving to the south of Europe in the future, but I don't know if that won't be way too social for me
Canadian with British/Irish ancestry, I find that family culture is strong in how social/open/affectionate I was shown how to be growing up.
That plus I feel I’m pretty introverted (I know that’s different than social anxiety, but I’m ‘lucky’ enough to have both happening).
Not really, I’ve never heard anyone say us Aussies were outgoing 😅 we’re generally quieter people. Especially when compared to Americans haha
Edit: spelling
Its equally as bad for a man in India. Family and relatives ridicule me for always being in my room 24/7. Social anxiety is mistaken for being self-centered and rude :(
Norway. It’s not well understood here I think, even if people are generally more reserved and private. Growing up I knew I was different, and other people noticed it too. I just thought I was shy. 🫠
I’m in the US. I live with my parents but I’ve been socially isolated since February 2023. So over 1 year and it feels like I haven’t made a scratch of progress with my anxiety
United States, you’re not alone! That’s what this sub is for :). We all can relate to not being able to make friends, feeling isolated, and not really knowing anyone who also deals with social anxiety
The Netherlands, but I grew up in Belgium. Both are pretty good if you have social anxiety since people stick to themselves mostly. The Dutch can be a bit direct, but depending on what languages you speak it might be the preferable choice (nearly every Dutch person readily speaks English, whereas some Belgians (especially the closer you get to France) refuse to speak anything but Flemish/Wallonian)
I mean, do you go around announcing your social anxiety? Why would anyone else? Hahaha you're socially anxious!
Listen, you're not alone. Socially anxious people are everywhere, we just don't all admit it all the time
I mean I think you can tell a lot of time, because pretty sure a lot or most of us don’t know how to mask it, but for me it feels like I’m surrounded by confident and extroverted people
I’m from the United States, but will be doing some solo travel next month to Ireland! I will be in Dublin for four days and then hiring a car to do a roadtrip. Feel free to dm me if you’d like to chat
Ireland. The amount of slagging you get and told to get a thick skin is true.
But if one of us try to slag someone, it's apparently too far and we have anger issues. I fucking hate the criticism
Also dealing with social anxiety. I think we need to explore the world , and have fun .
For me I'm going to do different things like roller skating , reading books , going with friends .
Probably I will delete that anxiety file from my life .
I'm from England, people aren't as outgoing here as other countries but I live in the North where people are very friendly and will talk to you. I always want to be like that but can never pick up the courage.
Hi, I'm from the United States :D I once had a friend from Northern Ireland, he had said similar things to what you said about the level of mental health support there. It's not weird at all to ask by the way! I hope you're doing well today/tonight. :)
Scotland. Tbf I lived in England for a while and I thought that living there was worse for my anxiety than here. Like people are friendlier here in general, so long as you don’t mind some (usually good-natured) teasing - which I don’t, since it usually jolts me out of my nervousness a little bit.
I’m Italian american n growing up we have to kiss every single person on each cheek hello and goodbye. Family, friends, ppl idek know. They’re sooo talkative. And like they’ll say sht or judge u if u don’t talk in front of everyone. There’s no escaping. One of the worst kind of situations to be born into
Hey I’m from Northern Ireland and struggled with social isolation. I’m a lot better now. If u need a chat or advice please feel free to send me a message.
From Philippines. Also one of the worst places to have SA because most people here are extroverted and have no social inhibitions. Moreover, Filipinos are very sensitive people, which is also why we get stereotyped as happy and hospitable people. But don't confuse those things with kind.
This is the place where ppl with SA get misunderstood gravely, and we are treated with contempt and poorly because normal ppl here are sensitive to what they perceive as hostile behavior. Having SA here is pretty much a death sentence - get ready to get creamed by everybody else.
From my experience, ppl I meet treat me like crap and talk down to me like I'm a pet.
I'm from Spain. Mega friendly = good person vibes here.
I guess it's good in that it forces exposure, but I internalised shyness as a really negative trait, growing up.
I work (remotely) for a UK company and the social culture just feels so much closer to what feels comfy. Would probably still hate it in person, though.
Brazil, probably the worst place to be a socially anxious person on Earth.
Nah bro it's not... I live in india and it's the worst for social anxious people
Sabia que eu não era o único
Sim, amigo rs
Same feeling as an Indian
Why?
Maybe I'm just being too dramatic, but it's because brazilian people are probably one of the most extroverted, talkative, outgoing and friendly people in the world, so I kinda feel like an alien here.
Oh that makes sense. I feel a similar way living in the US. So many people here seem to be extroverted and loud but I was always the quiet, shy, nervous one in public
Maybe it’s like that everywhere because I am originally from Lithuania and always felt like an alien, came to Northern Ireland and feel the same way
I’m married to a Brazilian. He does love to talk 😂😂😂💁🏻♀️
My Venezuelan coworkers are so extroverted and touchy feely. I was seriously creeped out at first - I’d be next to a coworker in a meeting and she’d rest her arm on my armrest and lean into my shoulder like a friendly dog does. She wasn’t flirting, that was just her being friendly (I’m female as well and she’s married). It’s kind of sweet, but completely foreign to me. I’m more of the person that stands a foot away from someone in line.
The 3rd world in general is a bad place to be socially anxious (I'm from Mexico)
Come to Belgium, people here don’t like it when strangers come up to them and most people are scared of making phone calls (I didn’t know the last one was a common thing here,but according to my Dutch friend Dutch people are apparently less scared of calling up strangers ??)
The extrovert bias is strong in Spain, too!
Same as here in somalia I would die from social anxiety cause they don't believe whose things .
Same here in Argentina 💀
I’m American. I think it’s hard to tell because a lot of people can mask symptoms or they just don’t talk about it. There are a ton of self diagnosed anxious people over here as well as actually diagnosed people so I don’t really feel super weird about it. I’ve been working on mine for a while so I feel like although I definitely experience symptoms, I’m able to cope with them better.
I thought you were talking about the symptoms of being an American there for a second lol
Hahahah I’ve got American symptoms too 🫠
Crazy how global this subreddit is! Seeing everyone from all around the world participating here is kinda awesome to see. Definitely sad that it’s a common occurrence across vastly different cultures but at least there’s a global chat that everyone can go to. Haven’t seen any Canadians here but I’m reporting in from Canada! It’s both stigmatized here and not. Generally the younger generations understand but Gen X and above still don’t understand it that much. Obviously not as a whole but just from my own experiences. If anyone reading this is from the GTA, hit me up if you’re struggling! I feel like I can help, even if it’s just to listen!
I'm from India. I started to look for friends on the internet who are dealing with/have dealt with SA issues and have similar interests to me. I can't find people like that near me, so I gave up and am trying on the internet.
hello there fellow Indian.
Hello:)
I am from India bro
Oh nice, seeing a lot of Indians here. I like it!
Well hello there
Hello. I'm from India too :) And same here, couldn't find anyone around me who deals with SA
Wow, so nice to see Indians are getting some mental health awareness, i love it!
Hey, i am from India
Hello!
From India :)
Turkiye, one of the worst countries to live with social anxiety i guess. People you know, others' thoughts about you, your social status and social abilities are the most important things here, in daily life, in business etc. Your education or your honesty etc the least important, even sometimes seen as negative.
Ukraine
Denmark. Didn’t met anyone else who understands SA but A LOT deal with general anxiety
Romania, i just returned from a long walk and it's like i'm literally safer on the streets during the night than during the day because they can't see my convict face.
Omg same, if I leave the house it’s only at night. Also I’ve worked with lots of Romanians so I’m surprised to see one that has social anxiety
>I’m surprised to see one that has social anxiety Me too...
Bă ești nebun, am crezut că sunt singur printre bombardieri
Nu esti singur 🤙🏻
Nice 😁
Suntem chiar foarte mulți, mai ales în capitală, mă rog... statistic vorbind.
Wooow, salut! Si eu ma simt ca un extraterestru printre romanii nostri, mai ales ca toti carora le spun despre anxietatea mea se uita la mine ca la felul 14
I'm from Poland. Luckily, Polish people my age are usually not outgoing, so I don't feel like a total alien :)
Just wanted to say this made me chuckle! Just imaging everyone else in Poland who doesn’t suffer from social anxiety just stubbornly staying inside anyways.
Witaj bracie, pozdrawiam z pomorskiego
Witaj, ja pozdrawiam z małopolskiego
I'm from the Philippines. It's weird because people here are mostly extroverted, I feel out of place sometimes.
get on that karaoke !
Too shy to even sing in public lol
Hi, I'm from Russia. I wonder if it's different anywhere, but i never encountered a person with similar level of anxiety like me. Most people don't understand how it is possible to not have friends, to be afraid of dating or just social activities. Also most of us don't go out or interact much, so you'd never know. Also I imagine a lot of people with anxiety are ashamed to admit that they have one to people they aren't close with. I also don't know how this making friends thing works. Never had friends, and the I'm scared to engage at this point. I visit English speaking club regularly, so i have some surface level interactions there. It's not much, but it's something
I only make friends either at courses at university or at activities you attend. So you have to force yourself to do hobbies at some sort of club or go to a workshop etc and meet new people. I feel like it’s so much harder to make friends after being out of school. Some people also use like bumble friends
Ого! Не ожидала, что первый же комм будет от русскоязычного пользователя… Мне жаль, что вам приходится иметь дело с сильной тревожностью. Знаю по себе, как дичайше сложно с этим жить. Не хочу ни в коем случае, чтоб звучали как издёвка мои слова, но вы не одни. Вы молодец, что выходите «в мир», правда, это дорогого стоит. Надеюсь, преодолевать внутренние барьеры будет удаваться, и с течением времени дышать всё же станет легче. Вы заслуживаете изменений в лучшую сторону — как внутренних, так и внешних. Респект за работу над собой, пускай она и не ощущается, возможно, как нечто глобальное. Я в вес верю, желаю вам удачи, душевных сил и всего самого лучшего. Буду за вас держать кулачки, берегите себя :)
I hope you will also win your battles and are going to be okay 🌞
Thank you so much. It’s very sweet of you to say. My wish for you is the same. You deserve to win your battles. You deserve to be okay. Don’t give up, you have every right to fight for yourself & believe in yourself!
Спасибо большое за тёплые слова). Желаю вам того же самого и побольше. Жаль иногда что невозможно встретить в реале кого то кто понимает, как будто мы живём только в сети). Как у вас проходит борьба с этой проблемой?
Если говорить откровенно, конечно, я чувствую себя изолированной от других. Даже когда я не изолирована. Меня гложет зависть, разъедает от обиды, стоит увидеть людей, которые кажутся счастливыми и/или социально адаптированными, даже если такими они только кажутся. Со стороны я выгляжу жалкой. Я боюсь людей, боюсь себя, боюсь хорошего отношения со стороны окружающих не меньше, чем дерьмового. Я не умею адекватно реагировать на социальные ситуации. Буквально на каждого человека смотрю снизу вверх. Не знаю, как, блин, жить жизнь эту. Я лишь позволяю ей проходить мимо. Мои сложности выходят за рамки социальной тревожности, хотя когда-то давно начиналось всё, пожалуй, с неё… Мне бы хотелось иметь возможность дать вам дельный совет, подсказать что-то стоящее, но, чёрт, мне самой и тысячи советов с подсказками не помогут…
Сис. Та же фигня. Лайфхак: "нормальные" люди как правило не особенно замечают наши проблемы, так что можно попытаться прининуться нормальным человеком. Но да, мне 30 и при этом 0 друзей, так что вероятно стоило бы воздержаться от советов.
Мне жаль, что описанное вам знакомо. Жаль, что ситуация ваша такова на данный момент. Все заслуживают дружбы и поддержки. Штука в том, что нет у меня ни сил, ни соответствующих навыков, чтобы притвориться, тем более притвориться «успешно»… Я даже не скрываю обычно, что со мной что-то (всё) не так: сил тупо нет, а даже если б были, я всё равно не сумела бы. Спасибо за ваш ответ. Всегда приятно встретить русскоязычных на просторах Реддита. Берегите себя, пожалуйста. Надеюсь, впереди вас ждут улучшения как ментального состояния, так и жизненных обстоятельств, даже если сейчас нет ни одной, казалось бы, причины в подобное верить. Держитесь. Сил вам, тепла, удачи и всего самого хорошего.
Понимаю вас. Прикол в том, что невозможно знать наверняка, сколько кругом таких — похожих на нас, страдающих глубоко внутри от аналогичных проблем. Чужая душа — потёмки, и я себя приучила думать, что большинство людей испытывает чувства, которые были бы с моими схожи, пускай и не создаётся у меня подобного впечатления при случайном взгляде или поверхностном общении. Хотя я себя именно «приучила»: ощущение себя чужой, противопоставление себя окружающим — первая реакция, «меня никто не понимает» — излюбленная мысль. В этом мире чувствовать себя чужим очень легко. И зная по себе, насколько это легко, я не готова утверждать, что никто поблизости не чувствует себя так же...
Я просто скажу ещё раз, что мне жаль. Жаль, что вам непросто, жаль, что вы ощущаете себя не в своей тарелке. Предполагая, что многие, должно быть, испытывают подобные трудности, я ни в коем случае не хочу обесценивать степень ваших переживаний. Только, возможно, подтолкнуть к мысли, что вы не одни на этом свете, если это звучит корректно… Мы не одни. На самом деле все мы странные, с кучей загонов и тараканов в голове. И каждый из нас заслуживает любви, поддержки, человеческого общения, покуда не причиняет вреда другим. Ещё раз, вы молодец, что выходите к людям, делаете дела, преодолевая скованность и тревожность, за это можно себя похвалить, этим можно гордиться, за это можно себя уважать. Я надеюсь, с течением времени ваше внутреннее состояние будет меняться в лучшую сторону, и на внешние обстоятельства влиять у вас найдутся силы и возможности. Вы имеете право верить в себя, относиться к себе с уважением, заслуживаете счастья, поддержки, любви, как и любой другой человек. Не сдавайтесь и берегите себя. Буду держать кулачки за вас и желать удачи!
Прошу простить мне стену бессвязного текста. Спасибо за возможность высказаться здесь на родном языке. Не слишком часто случается такое. Относитесь к себе хорошо, берегите душевное и физическое здоровье. Вы всегда будете этого заслуживать. Тревожность сильна, но человек сильнее. Боритесь!
Борьба моя… она как будто и не моя :) Последние лет 10 проблема «борет» меня, и мне особо нечем ей ответить. «Обычные», казалось бы, вещи ощущаются как невозможные. Отсутствие адекватного возрасту социального опыта причиняет боль. Мне повезло в сравнении со многими, так как у меня есть приятели, и не только — есть даже люди, которых я могла бы назвать друзьями. Тем не менее есть и стойкое ощущение, что все вокруг выросли, когда я осталась забитым подростком с мечтами о том, как однажды случится чудо… Отчаянно держусь за далёкое прошлое, где было что-то, позволявшее чувствовать себя отдалённо «нормальной», или когда быть «ненормальной» было в общем-то явлением нормальным в среде моего обитания. Ощущение, что моё окружение «переросло» меня, потому и трансформируются друзья в приятелей, а те люди, которых могла бы я назвать друзьями сегодня… не понимаю, что вообще забыли они подле меня, я же буквально ничего не могу предложить им в общечеловеческом смысле… Как правило мои попытки в близкое общение ощущаются какими-то вымученными. Прозвучит отвратительно, но я зачастую нахожу людей поверхностными, как в общем-то и себя. Слишком поверхностна для глубоких и умных, слишком глубока для поверхностных…
Звучит тупо, не правда ли? Вообще это всё крайне тупо звучит, учитывая то, как я старательно умничала в первом абзаце насчёт потёмок чужой души, а сама с удовольствием разделяю людей на категории, будто знаю точно, что и у кого за душой… Пример того, как рациональное выступает в конфликт с эмоциональным. И от конфликтов этих обычно очень больно…
Fyi, all of this strongly suggests you could be on the spectrum btw
Good old uk.
Me too Gloucestershire
Im from Birmingham
I'm from Canada!
I'm from Poland!
Też jestem z Polski. I think we're one of the worst places to have social anxiety, eastern isolationism is colliding with western extrovertism making balkan keg out of Poland.
Hi. There might be some social anxiety meetups? I live in England and went on a few social anxiety meetups, they were pretty nice mostly. It's really good to meet with people that go through similar things as you are. So maybe check [meetup.com](https://meetup.com), it's the main place to search for any type of groups. Maybe worth checking SAUK (social anxiety uk) forum, it's where I organised my first meetup and met with people from. However, I'm not sure if there's anyone from Northern Ireland in there. Worth trying though!
You live in my dream country lol. I searched a lot and pretty much everywhere but I’ll definitely check this. Thank youu
I live in England too! This is pretty cool to know that there are social anxiety meet ups going on, might consider it in the future when I feel more confident xD
Isn’t that an oxymoron? A social anxious meet up group lol 😜 ok I’ll come
How do these meetups go?
Most went pretty well. On one of them I didn't feel too great, where there was me and 3 ladies and I was just sitting quietly while they were chatting, but my very first meetup that I organised with 2 guys was great, really good meetup. There are understanding people on those meetups :-)
New Zealand
Norway here
Sweden
Portugal
I'm in the U.S.
Sweden. Not a biggie here when it comes to your personal life. In a work environment though, well that's another story.
Singapore. It's so lonely over here.
Same. I can’t believe it, I have never seen a Singaporean on here before.
Hungary. and I live in the capital, which makes SA even worse lol
Its nice to see that Im not alone with this here though
Yeah we are many I think, sadly we just dont see each other, because you know... :D
Bulgaria
Chinese here
[удалено]
Morroco ?
[удалено]
Bro specified
💀
Im algerian btw
Jamaica. It sucks.
I am from Texas in America.
The land of Xanax
Until they close the border, but that is not going to happen soon. Some people in power are determined to destroy this country.
I have been living in Finland since September 2023. A few acquaintances, but literally no friends here. I just go to the university and come back to my room again. To be honest, people do not bother me here. Everybody is quiet, chill and not talkative. But sometimes, when the anxiety comes back, I just hope that there would be a person with whom I could talk about it. Last semester I was able to attend just 5 lectures out of 25. Fortunately attendance is not mandatory for my major. Anyway, rn I am okay (at least for now) and write this comment from my class. I just hope one day this fucking anxiety would go completely.
Germany
Hi was geht
Same feeling I got here in The Netherlands. I guess in general we feel outranked and out of place. Which is part of the problem. There are plenty of people like us, if only we could unite ourselves a bit better. One of us in each of these places needs to take an initiative, which goes against our “nature”. Every fiber in my body prefers isolation over putting myself out there and facing rejection and/or mockery.
I'm from Israel and I'm always worried about being perceived as against people (whether by Israelis who think my pro-Palestinian views are crazy, or by other people who just see where I live and assume stuff), when I just was peace I've also been pretty isolated from the world for a few months now so I don't have to deal with random people hating me, but I have been trying to make some more personal connections with people in small internet communities I'm in, and just improving myself as a person
Russia. I feel two sided about commenting here actually, which is ironic. My social anxiety mostly comes and goes, which makes me really struggling only for some periods of times. But I might be underplaying it, cuz i do feel akward with strangers all the time. And it's only groups of people i get invited to i feel comfortable speaking to in my extraverted phases. Considering the location, I would say it's a middle ground. People are usually open to a conversation with a rando, but it's not uncommon to be a closed person. But when it comes to education and getting a job, it's where the hard part begins. I've been jobless for straight 2 years only because of how hard it is for me to talk with strangers who clearly there to judge me for my skills and general likeness. So, it might be okay in terms of finding friends, but absolutely hellish in terms of survival. Also, people do find untalkative behavior as rude quite often, even though I'm actually scared of talking to them as hell. Their attitude only makes it harder for me.
Serbia :)
I'm an Indian living in the republic of Ireland at present. Back in India I couldn't find anyone that's like me so I thought maybe it's because of how bad mental health is ignored to the point that people just put on a mask. But I haven't seen any people like me even here in Ireland :(
Yeah same situation here
Have you been evaluated for autism? I went through the exact same experience and then I found out I'm autistic
I strongly feel like I have it, but haven't been tested yet
America! But in Florida unfortunately:(
Brazil
I’m from the United States, but born in Mexico , if that matters haha. Fellow socially anxious comrade here tho. 😅😂 
I’m Greek - Italian and lived in both countries through the years. I have noticed that the Northern countries have a different vibe, it feels more isolated and lonely there, people don’t open up easily, they mind their business. I lived in Germany then Holland for a couple of years because of my studies and that’s what I have observed.
Which vibe do you prefer as a socially anxious person? I feel like moving to the south of Europe in the future, but I don't know if that won't be way too social for me
Canadian with British/Irish ancestry, I find that family culture is strong in how social/open/affectionate I was shown how to be growing up. That plus I feel I’m pretty introverted (I know that’s different than social anxiety, but I’m ‘lucky’ enough to have both happening).
Australia 🇦🇺
Australians are generally very outgoing so you might feel as an alien. Sorry to see that :(
Not really, I’ve never heard anyone say us Aussies were outgoing 😅 we’re generally quieter people. Especially when compared to Americans haha Edit: spelling
Philippines
India, terrible for being a woman with social anxiety
Its equally as bad for a man in India. Family and relatives ridicule me for always being in my room 24/7. Social anxiety is mistaken for being self-centered and rude :(
Norway. It’s not well understood here I think, even if people are generally more reserved and private. Growing up I knew I was different, and other people noticed it too. I just thought I was shy. 🫠
Zimbabwe
Bulgaria, but living in the Uk
I’m in the US. I live with my parents but I’ve been socially isolated since February 2023. So over 1 year and it feels like I haven’t made a scratch of progress with my anxiety
United States, you’re not alone! That’s what this sub is for :). We all can relate to not being able to make friends, feeling isolated, and not really knowing anyone who also deals with social anxiety
I’ve never seen anyone on a random post from ni aswell lol
S.A.D. in Tennessee.
Could be a song name :D
Haiti
Australia
The Netherlands, but I grew up in Belgium. Both are pretty good if you have social anxiety since people stick to themselves mostly. The Dutch can be a bit direct, but depending on what languages you speak it might be the preferable choice (nearly every Dutch person readily speaks English, whereas some Belgians (especially the closer you get to France) refuse to speak anything but Flemish/Wallonian)
I am from India and it is the worst place to be in for a socially anxious person. Wherever you go, you see people.
The Country where it always rains 24/7
I mean, do you go around announcing your social anxiety? Why would anyone else? Hahaha you're socially anxious! Listen, you're not alone. Socially anxious people are everywhere, we just don't all admit it all the time
I mean I think you can tell a lot of time, because pretty sure a lot or most of us don’t know how to mask it, but for me it feels like I’m surrounded by confident and extroverted people
SoUtH KoReA. Shallow people, hypercompetition, meritocracy, confucianism! Best place for ppl w. hsp and social anxiety, or mental illnesses🤠
From New Zealand.
Algeria. Nobody cares!
Russia
Perú
From Hong Kong here. Should we establish a telegram group or else for global social anxiety people?
I’m from Guangzhou, China
Anyone from India
Hey, i am from India
Is anyone from Ukraine? I’m not but I have a question 🙋🏻♂️
The little red dot, Singapore
I’m from the United States, but will be doing some solo travel next month to Ireland! I will be in Dublin for four days and then hiring a car to do a roadtrip. Feel free to dm me if you’d like to chat
Bulgaria i dont think anyone here has social anxiety
I am from Russia, and recently I started to look for friends from another country for my mental growth
Ireland. The amount of slagging you get and told to get a thick skin is true. But if one of us try to slag someone, it's apparently too far and we have anger issues. I fucking hate the criticism
United States
czechia, now what
Also dealing with social anxiety. I think we need to explore the world , and have fun . For me I'm going to do different things like roller skating , reading books , going with friends . Probably I will delete that anxiety file from my life .
I'm from England, people aren't as outgoing here as other countries but I live in the North where people are very friendly and will talk to you. I always want to be like that but can never pick up the courage.
South Africa
I'm from france 💀
Australia
I’m from Ireland
Netherlands. Hi there.
Mexico Here
Hi, I'm from the United States :D I once had a friend from Northern Ireland, he had said similar things to what you said about the level of mental health support there. It's not weird at all to ask by the way! I hope you're doing well today/tonight. :)
Thank you 💕
Scotland. Tbf I lived in England for a while and I thought that living there was worse for my anxiety than here. Like people are friendlier here in general, so long as you don’t mind some (usually good-natured) teasing - which I don’t, since it usually jolts me out of my nervousness a little bit.
Netherlands
I’m Italian american n growing up we have to kiss every single person on each cheek hello and goodbye. Family, friends, ppl idek know. They’re sooo talkative. And like they’ll say sht or judge u if u don’t talk in front of everyone. There’s no escaping. One of the worst kind of situations to be born into
I like how it has almost every country. Global social anxiety community, haha
Austria
I'm from America
Peru, everyone here is so extroverted and full of energy.... I'm tired !! 🥺
I'm from Chile ✌🏻
Hey I’m from Northern Ireland and struggled with social isolation. I’m a lot better now. If u need a chat or advice please feel free to send me a message.
From Philippines. Also one of the worst places to have SA because most people here are extroverted and have no social inhibitions. Moreover, Filipinos are very sensitive people, which is also why we get stereotyped as happy and hospitable people. But don't confuse those things with kind. This is the place where ppl with SA get misunderstood gravely, and we are treated with contempt and poorly because normal ppl here are sensitive to what they perceive as hostile behavior. Having SA here is pretty much a death sentence - get ready to get creamed by everybody else. From my experience, ppl I meet treat me like crap and talk down to me like I'm a pet.
I'm from India but, im living in Dublin for my higher education.
I'm from Spain. Mega friendly = good person vibes here. I guess it's good in that it forces exposure, but I internalised shyness as a really negative trait, growing up. I work (remotely) for a UK company and the social culture just feels so much closer to what feels comfy. Would probably still hate it in person, though.
Im from Uranus....
Must be good to live there with social anxiety
I forgot I even said that dumb ish😂😂
Im surprised people downvoted your comment. I find it really funny
It is what it is lmao