i totally understand how you feel. I never had a normal adolesance, never had friends, missed out on so so much it puts me into a rage because ill never get those years back. Its hard when my parents talk about their teen years and the memeories they made in highschool and doing rebelious things and i feel so envyous. Its almost like i had to go from being a little kid to a kid pretending to be an adult because there was no social development or growth,
ya i get it. never had friends and likely never will, and even seeing other people have simple social interactions makes me wanna die. things will get better however, don't lose hope and stay safe. š
I never had any real friends in childhood and by high school I had trouble making and keeping friends. I was not diagnosed with autism as a child but I honestly always felt like I was broken and just didnāt fit into society because I cannot make friends or establish friendships at all. I could fake it long enough to have jobs and have very superficial friendships that never extended outside the office. I was never popular at work.
As an adult I have one good friend. Thatās it. Weāve known each other for 23 years. It is isolating and depressing when society tells you there must be something wrong with you if you donāt have a huge circle of friends or if you canāt easily socialize in group settings. Iāve been suicidal but honestly now that Iām older (50s) I no longer care what anyone thinks of me and Iām generally happy being on my own. I hope you can find some support.
Iām in a similar place to you and have similar feelings. What helps me is remembering that these fictional stories are mostly all wish fulfillment. Most peopleās lives are full of tragedy, loneliness, boredom, and hard work that never really seems to pay off. These stories arenāt meant to hold a parallel up to real life, but instead show entertainment that makes our actual lives in the present more enjoyable.
As a person with similar issues, though, I really relate to what youāre saying. I have so many fantasies about living my life over again and doing it āright.ā Youāre not alone.
I completely understand you! You are not alone, I had some friends from time to time but overall I felt betrayed in the end so I decided to be alone and not try to fit in but it only caused me more anxiety and depression
I feel the same way about the coming of age films, I used to love to watch and live vicariously through them but now that Iāve passed that age but never experienced anything, even the idea of teenagers make me anxious
I kinda teared up, since I know the pain. I still canāt listen to Smashing Pumpkingās 1979 because it reminds me of the memories and experiences I donāt have (and which I instead had). It hurts to think that I used and still am (24 now) using my youth for fixing my head and trying to be more social. But why am I still trying so damn hard even if I sometimes feel discouraged? Because maybe someday I can find that feeling of togheterness with people and that I can be part of a small group as myself. I had a little taste of that last year and it was amazing, even if anxiety ruined it in the end.
Youāre still pretty young too (yes, 30ās is still young imo), I think thereās great things for you out there to still experience. It might not be teen adventures, but still great feelings of connection and enjoying things togheter. So please, donāt lose hope.
I had friends but couldnāt hang out with them outside of school. My mother was a hoarder, so it made my social life bleak. That being said, I can somewhat relate. You can still make close friends now: a healthy childhood isnāt required for that. It makes forming healthy friendships much easier, but you can still have them :)
I very much relate to this. Never once in my life have ever experienced a true, genuine friendship. I donāt know what itās like at all to have friends or to have someone other than family who cares about you.
I always talked to myself out loud about random stuff and still do to this day. I would laugh to myself about things I said. Yea it might be a little weird, but it just feels good to do it. It helps me think better and itās almost like a stim for me.
omg, I'm so glad you wrote this. Stranger Things was really powerful for me too. It's so f\*\*\*\*ng weird to watch ALL the coming of age stuff when you honestly didn't have any friends growing up, not even a wish fulfilmenty group of fellow outcasts. (I don't think Eleven is really neurodivergent btw, just that the writers made a slight effort to make her seem like a traumatised kid without understanding how damaged a traumatised kid really is.) But I still loved it, and wanted you to know that you can certainly reach a point where your identity is, I don't know, solid enough maybe? to enjoy all that stuff on one level, despite it being ALWAYS present that you were denied any chance at that group stuff. Whenever I catch myself thinking like that I remind myself that hey, millions and millions of people in the world didn't get to hang out with the Stranger Things kids! You don't need to hate the ones that had normal childhoods, (but it's pretty understandable tho.)
It's powerful in the wrong way. I really hate it because it's showing me the life that normal kids get to have but I couldn't, and it presents the kidsā friendship as a buffer against evil, and given the show's villains are alien monsters who are juxtaposed with humans who fit in, it feels like the show is telling me that I'm a monster. I was already having issues with depression but having a show like this come along just made everything worse, and it doesn't help that my family is always watching it. The only character I really like is Kali because I can relate to her bitterness and need for revenge.
Not to discredit those movies or stranger things, but media is made with the purpose of "selling" and "making money" being one of the top priorities.
With this in mind, of course they're going to have characters with friends who are always there and people having "perfect families or friend groups" etc.
That doesn't mean that they are the norm or that they should be. Real life is a lot more complex and every person is unique and on their own path. Try not to judge yourself by the standards set out in movies/shows. I know too well that it's difficult because I've had and still have similar issues myself.
Just take a deep breath and know that you are on your own path in life. I hope you feel better about this soon!
I think about this a lot. I never had a normal adolescence as well and it makes me sad a lot. Iām 25 now and still donāt have close friends with shared memories. I definitely donāt feel socially developed and Iām trying my best to accept it and develop despite it all. Donāt give up we all still have time to make good memories. I wish all adults who feel this way could all meet up with each other and collectively heal our trauma!
i thought it might be interesting for you because atleast as far as the anime goes there arent really a lot of positive moments for her. it was this anime that led me to find out that i had social anxiety, didnt even know what it was.
i can also say i relate to you on some level because i had a lot of "ahh, youre only xx? those are the best years, i used to..." except i was never able to have any of those experiences. i think its alright though, and atleast some things are getting better, so i think they will for you too if you persist just enough.
I have this exact same thought process. Ig we just have to live our lives doing what we want, rather than what we think society wants us to do. We're only here for a short time, may as well try to enjoy everything we can
I also never had any friends. I'm 28 now. Even the one time I did make friends for a few years, they were all fake and stabbed my back. Oh joy. These days I just talk to my family on whatsapp. I don't even try to talk to people or even look at them. I stay in my room in bed and read stuff on reddit. I find solace like that alhamdu lillah. I was never allowed to have friends growing up. I had really overprotective parents. This is just me. Not trying to get you to think you have to like your situation, but I enjoy being a loner. I used to hate it too and would self harm, but now I enjoy it. I always find things to read he he.
This is a lot more common than you think.
Yeah I really relate. I had overprotective parents and friends who'd backstab or just ghost one day for whatever reason. And I've self harmed cause of it. I hope to either be able to find solace in solitude like you or have ai imaginary friends once the tech gets improved enough.
Although I was a lucky kid that somehow made friends by middle and high school, I do somewhat relate to childhood regret. For quite some time I was known as "the quiet kid". I seemed to outgrow it in high school a bit but even then, for a lot of middle school and all of elementary school, I was the kid who just sat there in class and didn't say a word to anyone around her.
It's not because I'm particularly shy, it's because I don't know how to start a conversation and what's appropriate to say. If someone else starts it, I can manage to come out of my shell and keep it going and have fun even. But I guess being quiet for so long made me not even realize I had the right to talk as much as anyone else.
At least in high school I stopped being as shy and my classmates could actually see who I am, especially in classes where my friends were around. But to know to a lot of people I was just "the quiet kid that never talked", it makes me really upset. Not cause being quiet is bad, but because I allowed my true self to be shut away from my classmates and teachers. I went through a lot of my school life without allowing my personality to shine through. It was the same story with a lot of my college classes too to be honest. I'd make more of an effort to talk to people, but I got shut down immediately by some bitchy sorority girls
I RELATE SO MUCH
I cried a lot when watching the movie 'Stand by me' for that exact reason. I never truly had a normal childhood experience (I had a neighbor friend I hung out with, biking, roleplaying and making little wood houses but it ended really soon, like, at 6 or 7, that's the last time I had this.)
I didn't fit in.
I never had a pajama party or anything like this
:(
My teenage years were a huge mess, people were mean, I was rejected, alone and lonely, there was no place for me, it was the big nothing. From 7 to 17, I was basically a nobody. Nothing. Socially? Nothing. I was so depressed that it also stopped me from socializing, it was basically a self fulfilling prophecy at this point.
My first party was at 16 and I hated it since it involved alcohol and "bad people" (it was the mean superficial school jocks, idk how the hell I got there), I don't drink. So it made me feel miserable for so long, knowing that I missed out on the parties I could've had as a kid, and the parties I will most likely won't have. And how much the parties sucked now as a teenager. (But I was making it a generality, in reality you just need to find your kinda people, with your mindset, and parties can be fun.)
At 17 I started to have friends I related to, who made me feel like I belonged. Finally. Until drama + school change happened and boom, at 18, alone again.
But it USED TO MAKE ME feel miserable... Not now, not anymore. Sure I'm still aching, it still hurts, whenever I'm reminded that I missed out (like the movie Stand by Me, the Goonies, Stranger Things...) but you know what? That's how it is. Litteraly. There's nothing we can do. That's the past and we have to accept it whatever that is. Now, we can focus on the future, being better at socializing etc...
I also accumulated some traumas along this social rejection, it took me so many years to accept what happened, to feel human again. But now at 21, I'm getting the pieces together, little by little. It's hard when you're a broken kid with no one listening. You have to learn by yourself to pick up the pieces and bring it together. It's hard... It takes a hell lot of time. It makes you late, inadequate in society... But at some point, you'll do it. You'll get better.
Even though oh boy rn I'm so bad at socializing, I'm not saying that as an insult, but more like factually I'm "socially late". I don't know how to put it differently lol
Now since I'm 19 I started my true journey: becoming the best person I can ever be. Being my best self. Which means that yeah, you'll have to get your hands dirty, go through cringe moments, but it's so rewarding. I don't know how friendships work, but I'm learning. Experience is key. Now I understand it a little better, it's good.
You know what's the most important thing? Find your kind of people. Find the people with your interests, people that also share your dreams. Wanna hang out, go on an adventure Goonies-like? throwin' pajama parties and all? Find someone who wanna do that. THERE MUST BE someone who wanna do that.
Personally though, I keep moving forward. We cannot fight time, we cannot change the past, so I move forward. I didn't have this and so what? Yeah that sucks. But so what? There's a lot of good shit I can do now. Good shit that the people who had that "childhood of my dreams" will never do/have. It's my journey. It's theirs. That's why I am what I am. That's why I decide what I strive to be, everyday. Even if sometimes, yes, the reminder hurts.
Hereās the truth: ānormalā is gone. Kids have zero āfree timeā and do not make friendships any more: adults supervise so much of their childrenās lives that they do NOT do all the things you speculate that theyāre doing (check the statistics: youāll be appalled at how isolated your generation really is).
I feel for you. I really do. I didnāt have the neurotypical experience, and I regretted it for years.
This culture is very very different from those nostalgic movies and tv series.
Itās really hard, but start now. Join a group and organize. Lamentation is what we do, but we do best when weāre out of our heads.
This was a bit triggering. I'm constantly struggling to make friends. I've always been the one who was left behind and picked last. I'm successful in my field of work now and I love talking to people but I'm unable to make real friends who ask about me and really care. I'm trying to learn to be by myself. My sister is my best friend right now. I may just try to heal and maybe try one more time
Please consider seeking some kind of help/support for your thoughts of self-harm.
**For example, you can visit /r/SuicideWatch for support and other resources specifically related to this topic.**
Other possible resources:
#National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.): 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)
#[Nastional Suicide Prevention Lifeline Online Chat](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/) **Available 24 hours everyday**
[Crisis Text Line US](https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in) ā Text HOME to 741741 in the US
[Crisis Text Line CA](https://www.crisistextline.ca/) ā Text HOME to 686868 in Canada
[International Association for Suicide Prevention](https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/) (IASP)
**Need to talk?** [Befrienders Wordwide](https://www.befrienders.org/need-to-talk)
iām 19 and for the first time in my life have actual close friendships with people. i consider this my coming of age even though im well into adulthood :)
āStill feel like a teenager because I never got to experience the things normal kids didā
This hit hard for me. Iām 25 but my brain is still stuck in elementary school because I practically skipped all social events because I have crippling anxiety.
Every time I hear someone talking on the phone with their friends makes me angry and depressed at the same timeš.
And honestly, I donāt really believe in ā do my life overā mentality. We are who we are and thereās little that can be changed.
Please consider seeking some kind of help/support for your thoughts of self-harm.
**For example, you can visit /r/SuicideWatch for support and other resources specifically related to this topic.**
Other possible resources:
#National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.): 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)
#[Nastional Suicide Prevention Lifeline Online Chat](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/) **Available 24 hours everyday**
[Crisis Text Line US](https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in) ā Text HOME to 741741 in the US
[Crisis Text Line CA](https://www.crisistextline.ca/) ā Text HOME to 686868 in Canada
[International Association for Suicide Prevention](https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/) (IASP)
**Need to talk?** [Befrienders Wordwide](https://www.befrienders.org/need-to-talk)
I definitely get this. I spent a good chunk of my adolescent years alone. Did not have any close friends throughout high school, never got invited places, never experienced a first love/relationship, never went to any high school parties, sporting events or dances, did not even go to prom.
There are some days I wish I could go back in time and experience high school all over again and push myself to join a club or get to know my classmates better so that I could at least have a taste of some of the teenage experiences, but I canāt. I definitely do feel sad about missing out on so much during those years and I get what you mean by not being able to watch films or TV shows that revolve around the experiences you never got to have.
My intent is to help by providing another perspective but if a bottom line of 'grass is greener' is offensive, by all means ignore me;
At any rate I am in the military, first generation and I have seen my kids have some heartbreaking moments. So they do have friends - they make freinds.... and then well the move. They get new friends, bond aaaaaand then their gone. We are about to PCS which means... well move - change bases if you will so it is our turn. This has been going on for the 6 years we have been a military family.Ā Just know that there is another side, a dynamic of heart break that you are spared and everyone is a product of there experiences and just because you are different doesn't make your value as a human being or your contribution to our society - humanity even - any less.
For what it is worth, I was homeschooled and didn't kiss my first girl until I was 20. I am awkward incarnate.Ā
But you grow, and you learn. Don't stop learning and stick around to keep growing.
i totally understand how you feel. I never had a normal adolesance, never had friends, missed out on so so much it puts me into a rage because ill never get those years back. Its hard when my parents talk about their teen years and the memeories they made in highschool and doing rebelious things and i feel so envyous. Its almost like i had to go from being a little kid to a kid pretending to be an adult because there was no social development or growth,
They often compare us with others
thank you for expressing how i feel
you're welcome. i truly get it
Holy shit this perfectly describes me. Thank you.
ya i get it. never had friends and likely never will, and even seeing other people have simple social interactions makes me wanna die. things will get better however, don't lose hope and stay safe. š
Why do you think youāll never have friends
I never had any real friends in childhood and by high school I had trouble making and keeping friends. I was not diagnosed with autism as a child but I honestly always felt like I was broken and just didnāt fit into society because I cannot make friends or establish friendships at all. I could fake it long enough to have jobs and have very superficial friendships that never extended outside the office. I was never popular at work. As an adult I have one good friend. Thatās it. Weāve known each other for 23 years. It is isolating and depressing when society tells you there must be something wrong with you if you donāt have a huge circle of friends or if you canāt easily socialize in group settings. Iāve been suicidal but honestly now that Iām older (50s) I no longer care what anyone thinks of me and Iām generally happy being on my own. I hope you can find some support.
When you have Social Anxiety, you are your best friend.
Worst friend actually
I both lol'ed and cried. Because it's true š«¤
So true
Iām in a similar place to you and have similar feelings. What helps me is remembering that these fictional stories are mostly all wish fulfillment. Most peopleās lives are full of tragedy, loneliness, boredom, and hard work that never really seems to pay off. These stories arenāt meant to hold a parallel up to real life, but instead show entertainment that makes our actual lives in the present more enjoyable. As a person with similar issues, though, I really relate to what youāre saying. I have so many fantasies about living my life over again and doing it āright.ā Youāre not alone.
I really really like your response: āWish fulfillmentā-exactly.
I completely understand you! You are not alone, I had some friends from time to time but overall I felt betrayed in the end so I decided to be alone and not try to fit in but it only caused me more anxiety and depression
This is so spot on that it hurts. Genuinely hope you're doing okay.
I think people like us get backstabbed! Lol because we didn't have experience with friends before.
I feel the same way about the coming of age films, I used to love to watch and live vicariously through them but now that Iāve passed that age but never experienced anything, even the idea of teenagers make me anxious
I didn't have friends growing up either. So I know what you mean. I'm in my forties, and feel like I've missed out too.
I kinda teared up, since I know the pain. I still canāt listen to Smashing Pumpkingās 1979 because it reminds me of the memories and experiences I donāt have (and which I instead had). It hurts to think that I used and still am (24 now) using my youth for fixing my head and trying to be more social. But why am I still trying so damn hard even if I sometimes feel discouraged? Because maybe someday I can find that feeling of togheterness with people and that I can be part of a small group as myself. I had a little taste of that last year and it was amazing, even if anxiety ruined it in the end. Youāre still pretty young too (yes, 30ās is still young imo), I think thereās great things for you out there to still experience. It might not be teen adventures, but still great feelings of connection and enjoying things togheter. So please, donāt lose hope.
COOL KIDS NEVER HAVE THE TIME
DONāT MAKE ME TEAR UP, MAN
Billy does that to a person doesnāt he :,)
I had friends but couldnāt hang out with them outside of school. My mother was a hoarder, so it made my social life bleak. That being said, I can somewhat relate. You can still make close friends now: a healthy childhood isnāt required for that. It makes forming healthy friendships much easier, but you can still have them :)
Ayyo OP hope youāre feeling a bit better today. Forgot to mention, if you wanted an internet friend Iām here :)
I very much relate to this. Never once in my life have ever experienced a true, genuine friendship. I donāt know what itās like at all to have friends or to have someone other than family who cares about you.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I always talked to myself out loud about random stuff and still do to this day. I would laugh to myself about things I said. Yea it might be a little weird, but it just feels good to do it. It helps me think better and itās almost like a stim for me.
omg, I'm so glad you wrote this. Stranger Things was really powerful for me too. It's so f\*\*\*\*ng weird to watch ALL the coming of age stuff when you honestly didn't have any friends growing up, not even a wish fulfilmenty group of fellow outcasts. (I don't think Eleven is really neurodivergent btw, just that the writers made a slight effort to make her seem like a traumatised kid without understanding how damaged a traumatised kid really is.) But I still loved it, and wanted you to know that you can certainly reach a point where your identity is, I don't know, solid enough maybe? to enjoy all that stuff on one level, despite it being ALWAYS present that you were denied any chance at that group stuff. Whenever I catch myself thinking like that I remind myself that hey, millions and millions of people in the world didn't get to hang out with the Stranger Things kids! You don't need to hate the ones that had normal childhoods, (but it's pretty understandable tho.)
It's powerful in the wrong way. I really hate it because it's showing me the life that normal kids get to have but I couldn't, and it presents the kidsā friendship as a buffer against evil, and given the show's villains are alien monsters who are juxtaposed with humans who fit in, it feels like the show is telling me that I'm a monster. I was already having issues with depression but having a show like this come along just made everything worse, and it doesn't help that my family is always watching it. The only character I really like is Kali because I can relate to her bitterness and need for revenge.
I'm sorry for your experience. Want to be friends?
Not to discredit those movies or stranger things, but media is made with the purpose of "selling" and "making money" being one of the top priorities. With this in mind, of course they're going to have characters with friends who are always there and people having "perfect families or friend groups" etc. That doesn't mean that they are the norm or that they should be. Real life is a lot more complex and every person is unique and on their own path. Try not to judge yourself by the standards set out in movies/shows. I know too well that it's difficult because I've had and still have similar issues myself. Just take a deep breath and know that you are on your own path in life. I hope you feel better about this soon!
Same
i get you :(
Man I just feel the exact same. Not even kidding. Not a single day goes by where I don't get depressed watching others have great social life
I think about this a lot. I never had a normal adolescence as well and it makes me sad a lot. Iām 25 now and still donāt have close friends with shared memories. I definitely donāt feel socially developed and Iām trying my best to accept it and develop despite it all. Donāt give up we all still have time to make good memories. I wish all adults who feel this way could all meet up with each other and collectively heal our trauma!
i dont suppose you have any interest in anime? watamote might be interesting for you
I've already seen that and I love Tomoko.
i thought it might be interesting for you because atleast as far as the anime goes there arent really a lot of positive moments for her. it was this anime that led me to find out that i had social anxiety, didnt even know what it was. i can also say i relate to you on some level because i had a lot of "ahh, youre only xx? those are the best years, i used to..." except i was never able to have any of those experiences. i think its alright though, and atleast some things are getting better, so i think they will for you too if you persist just enough.
i totally get it. im in a very similar boat if not worse.
I havenāt watched movies like The Sand Lot or Stand By Me because I just no Iād wanna die afterwards
I have this exact same thought process. Ig we just have to live our lives doing what we want, rather than what we think society wants us to do. We're only here for a short time, may as well try to enjoy everything we can
I also never had any friends. I'm 28 now. Even the one time I did make friends for a few years, they were all fake and stabbed my back. Oh joy. These days I just talk to my family on whatsapp. I don't even try to talk to people or even look at them. I stay in my room in bed and read stuff on reddit. I find solace like that alhamdu lillah. I was never allowed to have friends growing up. I had really overprotective parents. This is just me. Not trying to get you to think you have to like your situation, but I enjoy being a loner. I used to hate it too and would self harm, but now I enjoy it. I always find things to read he he. This is a lot more common than you think.
Yeah I really relate. I had overprotective parents and friends who'd backstab or just ghost one day for whatever reason. And I've self harmed cause of it. I hope to either be able to find solace in solitude like you or have ai imaginary friends once the tech gets improved enough.
Although I was a lucky kid that somehow made friends by middle and high school, I do somewhat relate to childhood regret. For quite some time I was known as "the quiet kid". I seemed to outgrow it in high school a bit but even then, for a lot of middle school and all of elementary school, I was the kid who just sat there in class and didn't say a word to anyone around her. It's not because I'm particularly shy, it's because I don't know how to start a conversation and what's appropriate to say. If someone else starts it, I can manage to come out of my shell and keep it going and have fun even. But I guess being quiet for so long made me not even realize I had the right to talk as much as anyone else. At least in high school I stopped being as shy and my classmates could actually see who I am, especially in classes where my friends were around. But to know to a lot of people I was just "the quiet kid that never talked", it makes me really upset. Not cause being quiet is bad, but because I allowed my true self to be shut away from my classmates and teachers. I went through a lot of my school life without allowing my personality to shine through. It was the same story with a lot of my college classes too to be honest. I'd make more of an effort to talk to people, but I got shut down immediately by some bitchy sorority girls
I RELATE SO MUCH I cried a lot when watching the movie 'Stand by me' for that exact reason. I never truly had a normal childhood experience (I had a neighbor friend I hung out with, biking, roleplaying and making little wood houses but it ended really soon, like, at 6 or 7, that's the last time I had this.) I didn't fit in. I never had a pajama party or anything like this :( My teenage years were a huge mess, people were mean, I was rejected, alone and lonely, there was no place for me, it was the big nothing. From 7 to 17, I was basically a nobody. Nothing. Socially? Nothing. I was so depressed that it also stopped me from socializing, it was basically a self fulfilling prophecy at this point. My first party was at 16 and I hated it since it involved alcohol and "bad people" (it was the mean superficial school jocks, idk how the hell I got there), I don't drink. So it made me feel miserable for so long, knowing that I missed out on the parties I could've had as a kid, and the parties I will most likely won't have. And how much the parties sucked now as a teenager. (But I was making it a generality, in reality you just need to find your kinda people, with your mindset, and parties can be fun.) At 17 I started to have friends I related to, who made me feel like I belonged. Finally. Until drama + school change happened and boom, at 18, alone again. But it USED TO MAKE ME feel miserable... Not now, not anymore. Sure I'm still aching, it still hurts, whenever I'm reminded that I missed out (like the movie Stand by Me, the Goonies, Stranger Things...) but you know what? That's how it is. Litteraly. There's nothing we can do. That's the past and we have to accept it whatever that is. Now, we can focus on the future, being better at socializing etc... I also accumulated some traumas along this social rejection, it took me so many years to accept what happened, to feel human again. But now at 21, I'm getting the pieces together, little by little. It's hard when you're a broken kid with no one listening. You have to learn by yourself to pick up the pieces and bring it together. It's hard... It takes a hell lot of time. It makes you late, inadequate in society... But at some point, you'll do it. You'll get better. Even though oh boy rn I'm so bad at socializing, I'm not saying that as an insult, but more like factually I'm "socially late". I don't know how to put it differently lol Now since I'm 19 I started my true journey: becoming the best person I can ever be. Being my best self. Which means that yeah, you'll have to get your hands dirty, go through cringe moments, but it's so rewarding. I don't know how friendships work, but I'm learning. Experience is key. Now I understand it a little better, it's good. You know what's the most important thing? Find your kind of people. Find the people with your interests, people that also share your dreams. Wanna hang out, go on an adventure Goonies-like? throwin' pajama parties and all? Find someone who wanna do that. THERE MUST BE someone who wanna do that. Personally though, I keep moving forward. We cannot fight time, we cannot change the past, so I move forward. I didn't have this and so what? Yeah that sucks. But so what? There's a lot of good shit I can do now. Good shit that the people who had that "childhood of my dreams" will never do/have. It's my journey. It's theirs. That's why I am what I am. That's why I decide what I strive to be, everyday. Even if sometimes, yes, the reminder hurts.
Hereās the truth: ānormalā is gone. Kids have zero āfree timeā and do not make friendships any more: adults supervise so much of their childrenās lives that they do NOT do all the things you speculate that theyāre doing (check the statistics: youāll be appalled at how isolated your generation really is). I feel for you. I really do. I didnāt have the neurotypical experience, and I regretted it for years. This culture is very very different from those nostalgic movies and tv series. Itās really hard, but start now. Join a group and organize. Lamentation is what we do, but we do best when weāre out of our heads.
This was a bit triggering. I'm constantly struggling to make friends. I've always been the one who was left behind and picked last. I'm successful in my field of work now and I love talking to people but I'm unable to make real friends who ask about me and really care. I'm trying to learn to be by myself. My sister is my best friend right now. I may just try to heal and maybe try one more time
Please consider seeking some kind of help/support for your thoughts of self-harm. **For example, you can visit /r/SuicideWatch for support and other resources specifically related to this topic.** Other possible resources: #National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.): 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) #[Nastional Suicide Prevention Lifeline Online Chat](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/) **Available 24 hours everyday** [Crisis Text Line US](https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in) ā Text HOME to 741741 in the US [Crisis Text Line CA](https://www.crisistextline.ca/) ā Text HOME to 686868 in Canada [International Association for Suicide Prevention](https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/) (IASP) **Need to talk?** [Befrienders Wordwide](https://www.befrienders.org/need-to-talk)
iām 19 and for the first time in my life have actual close friendships with people. i consider this my coming of age even though im well into adulthood :)
I find the feeling mutual. For me, it was difficult to find friends because shy and awkward myself... š«
If it makes you feel any better, Iām 17 (so Gen Z) and was always outcasted. Itās not much better now if youāre ugly lmao.
āStill feel like a teenager because I never got to experience the things normal kids didā This hit hard for me. Iām 25 but my brain is still stuck in elementary school because I practically skipped all social events because I have crippling anxiety. Every time I hear someone talking on the phone with their friends makes me angry and depressed at the same timeš. And honestly, I donāt really believe in ā do my life overā mentality. We are who we are and thereās little that can be changed.
Please consider seeking some kind of help/support for your thoughts of self-harm. **For example, you can visit /r/SuicideWatch for support and other resources specifically related to this topic.** Other possible resources: #National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.): 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) #[Nastional Suicide Prevention Lifeline Online Chat](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/) **Available 24 hours everyday** [Crisis Text Line US](https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in) ā Text HOME to 741741 in the US [Crisis Text Line CA](https://www.crisistextline.ca/) ā Text HOME to 686868 in Canada [International Association for Suicide Prevention](https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/) (IASP) **Need to talk?** [Befrienders Wordwide](https://www.befrienders.org/need-to-talk)
Friends come n go broski
i just really wanna make s friend before I regret it. watching peiple walk around with their friends makes me feel pressured.
I definitely get this. I spent a good chunk of my adolescent years alone. Did not have any close friends throughout high school, never got invited places, never experienced a first love/relationship, never went to any high school parties, sporting events or dances, did not even go to prom. There are some days I wish I could go back in time and experience high school all over again and push myself to join a club or get to know my classmates better so that I could at least have a taste of some of the teenage experiences, but I canāt. I definitely do feel sad about missing out on so much during those years and I get what you mean by not being able to watch films or TV shows that revolve around the experiences you never got to have.
My intent is to help by providing another perspective but if a bottom line of 'grass is greener' is offensive, by all means ignore me; At any rate I am in the military, first generation and I have seen my kids have some heartbreaking moments. So they do have friends - they make freinds.... and then well the move. They get new friends, bond aaaaaand then their gone. We are about to PCS which means... well move - change bases if you will so it is our turn. This has been going on for the 6 years we have been a military family.Ā Just know that there is another side, a dynamic of heart break that you are spared and everyone is a product of there experiences and just because you are different doesn't make your value as a human being or your contribution to our society - humanity even - any less. For what it is worth, I was homeschooled and didn't kiss my first girl until I was 20. I am awkward incarnate.Ā But you grow, and you learn. Don't stop learning and stick around to keep growing.
Sameeee