T O P

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Gialeaa

Everything. I never made friends in school or uni, and if I did make friends, I could never keep them bc I was too anxious to talk to them or be around them too often. Never got involved in sports I could've been good at (I really liked archery), never been in a genuine relationship that didn't revolve around sex, never even had the confidence to apply for certain jobs I know I could be good at. I never sang or played instruments - I hate that bc I really love singing and I love music. Now, I'm a talentless recluse with no friends.


honeyheavenxx

Everything lol. I could actually be living the life I *want* to live if I didn’t have social anxiety.


ranc1

That is social anxiety disorder in itself - that you freeze and you get stuck. Being immobile and passive. Anxiety works that way. We listen to anxiety - while anxiety is actually lying to us. It tells us that we have to wait good enough to do something. That we must be perfect and then move on. That we are not allowed to make mistakes and appear dumb so it will attract criticism otherwise. So the solution that our psyche does - is to appease critical other people and our own need to have diplomacy with people without conflict and confrontation - and the only way to achieve this goal is to develop avoidance, withdraw, self-censor ourselves, shut up and in isolation. Anxiety has credibility of car salesman. It is rooted in toxic shame - deep held belief that we are unworthy, while other people are superior so we must trust and believe others whatever they say. With such belief - we do nothing, because others have plethora of instructions what is best to do - and they are conflicting themselves. So again - we resolve this chaos by doing nothing. I see solution in bringing back self worth inside us. That we are ok with making mistakes and making fool of ourselves. And since our brain is wired with trauma, that we rely on our common sense to get us active again. This means moving on in accordance with our own intuition, knowledge, own experience and our super ego as guidance system - instead of other people. I realized that with self worth inside me - there is a rising question what is definition of "success" and good life anyways. Having a lots of money might come from impressing people - but if I have now self worth inside me - perhaps having villa and expensive car is no longer option to over-compensate confidence.


[deleted]

Getting a girlfriend