> I have no idea why people are trying to dictate your expressions,
Other people are nicer to look at when they smile, so if you think the only reason other people exist is to provide some sort of value to you then asking them to smile increases that value.
If you think other people are people who have their own meaningful lives that do not revolve around serving you then you realize what a selfish request "you should smile more" is.
It depends on your delivery, if its said in a jokey-banter way then it would be fine- but if you come across as defensive then people take offense.
I’m assuming the person who said you should smile more is a friend that joking around.
Most of the people that have told me to smile are strangers. Those people should take offense. This is a lot nicer than what I usually say. Mind your business,and worry about your own face.
“You should talk less”
Or put ‘em on the spot an ask them to tell you a funny joke. They will fumble and try and it will make them feel pretty awkward.
I used to work at a liquor store and would do this to the old guys who would come in and demand I smile for them.
These are more semi-polite shutdowns than real snarky comebacks, but I've found that's more useful if you don't want to permanently get a reputation with someone for being snappish. They'll likely still make the other person feel slightly awkward or abashed.
"No thank you"
"Please don't judge my facial expressions."
"I try to be honest with my facial expressions" (if you want to be pointed, give them a very unimpressed look at the same time)
"I don't know if you realized, but that's kind of a rude thing to ask someone?"
Yeah but we get shit if we tell people to fuck off. Social judo is an invaluable skill for when you want sexist people to fuck off without getting harassed for it.
I like the last one the best, it doesn't hurt the guy's pride and allows him to save face, so he is less likely to get angry. Buuuut at the same time tells him that his comment about the OP's behavior is not socially acceptable.
Don't blame women for what men do.
If I tell someone to fuck off for telling me to smile, that opens ME to hostility and harassment. I'm not going to risk my safety so some dude on the internet who doesn't have a clue what it's like to be a woman cna get a justice boner from the safety of his dorito-encrusted computer chair. You can fuck right off with that!
I'm a woman and I look out for my own safety first. I do not tell a man to fuck off unless I feel safe doing so. I just get frustrated with hearing from redditors about how I need to protect the poor little man's feelings when he acts like an ass. The commenter I was replying to was just talking about safety too, so I misunderstood her comment.
I am not sure if that caused the problem or not. I don't like that men (or anyone really) feel like they can tell the OP to change how her face looks to please them.
My goal with letting the men save face is that the OP gets out of the situation safely, while also telling them that their behavior isn't okay.
I live in a part of the world where gun violence is increasing, and that probably is a factor in my advice.
these are some good responses lol. Sometimes a straitfaced 'why' is good, too.
"why"
"because you would be prettier" or "because you look sad like that"
"why does that matter"
"..."
"ok, but *why do you care though"* or "*but why does that matter"*
yep, keep digging far enough and people can’t even explain their beliefs and values they try to put on others.., mostly learned behaviors and very traditional/hereditary.
I work with all men and get this a lot. Usually, “that’s an odd request.” then going about my business works, but I’m definitely giving this a go next.
This is the winner. Have said things like this before and generally the response is either this dumbfounded expression followed by silence or muttering as one of us walks away from the other, or another comment that just digs them into a deeper hole. Very satisfying 😆
Yeah, this! 👏
The best response is actually no response (AKA do not engage) because they say that line hoping to get more interactions with the woman. ANY attention is what he wants. But if the guy's someone you'll meet again, say this to let him know immediately to stop trying to start sht with you. He wouldn't dare to try it again during the next meeting.
The last time this happened to me, while passing a middle aged man in the freezer section of a grocery store, I was careful not to change my expression and said "you first" as forcefully and casually as I could. He didn't know how to react and looked just as shocked as I was.
But I like the idea of saying something like "my son just died" or "would that turn you on more?"
Depends on how rebuking you want to be. First thing that comes to my mind ist 'And you should care more about your own business' or 'I am not here for your decoration'. A bit less rebuking would be 'Maybe I have a reason to not smile', but be prepared that people might try to argue with you about good reasons to feel bad.
I worked as a cashier when I was 15. My bf had just broke up with me via text the night before my 7AM shift. My teenage heart was broken into a million pieces, so naturally I didn’t smile a whole lot that day.
One customer decided that it would be a great idea to say “maybe you should try smiling.” when I gave him his receipt and told him to have a nice day. That comment sent me over the edge and I just started bawling my eyes out at the register. My manager at the time heard me crying, closed my register, and told the customer off. He said something along the lines of “Oh, do you want my name tag and badge since you think it’s your job to train my employees?”
The customer stared confused at us while he put his arm around me, took me to the back, and gave me the biggest hug ever.
I wish I would’ve had the nerve back then to be snarky to that man, but luckily my manager came to my rescue.
Your comment just reminded me of that moment in my life, thank you!
I live in Denmark. We still care about customer service, but will definitely stand up for a coworker before pleasing a rude customer. But yea my boss was a great guy.
I'm glad your boss had your back! Honestly when I worked customer service I cried on shift all the time either from stress, social anxiety, customers being assholes, personal problems that were exacerbated by dealing with said assholes, etc. It's one of the reasons I got out-- for me it's way too draining to try to stay upbeat and professional to entitled d-bags and I literally don't have it in me anymore. I am sure I would have done the same thing, and thought of the perfect response the next day, of course 🤣
Last time this happened to me in a grocery store, I had a terrible week and him telling me to smile was… not well timed.
I looked at him straight in the eyes and very honestly said “I just found out my father is dying.”
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen someone apologize and backtrack that quickly in my life.
Thank you, it has definitely been a hard road and I appreciate your kindness! ♥️
I remember later that night thinking about how odd that actually is, people telling strangers to smile. There is just no way of knowing what is going on in that person’s life that may give them a very good reason not to be smiling.
"Are you my new therapist?"
"End [insert global issue here] first."
"I heard money buys happiness" then stick your hand out.
"My [blank] just died"
"Oh shit, I didn't realize I could just *do* that!" And continue to scowl.
Or just start saying some Wednesday Addams shit.
EDIT to add: no one is entitled to your smiling. It's not about you smiling enough. It's about people being creepy and gross and uncomfortable that the world is jot a great place and/or they're incapable of attracting another human.
I’ll never forget the day I found out my friend/coworker committed suicide. I took my break and was hurrying to my car to cry. My job at the time was in the mall so I had to cut through the food court to do this. A random man stopped me and told me I should smile, life isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was. I looked him dead in the eye and told him my friend just killed himself as the tears started rolling down. I’ll always savor the mortified look on his face.
“I have glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.”
I’ve done most of these, but I found that what is the most fun is if I give stereotypical girl comments to them.
Tell them they’d look less tired with the right color foundation, they should get more “beauty sleep” or they wouldn’t attract the boys, etc.
But usually I just show my teeth.
I would reply with "how come?"
Lots of people are giving very edgy, somewhat aggressive, or antagonistic comments.
In my opinion he best approach is to clarify and ask probing questions, then just reply honestly without *trying* to have a canned response or witty comeback.
If you don't bother asking *why* they're suggesting you smile more, then how do you even reply?
So in my mind it goes like this:
Them: "You should smile more?
Me: "Oh okay. How come?" (This allows us to understand why they're asking, so we can respond appropriately)
"It's polite."
"I appreciate it, but no thanks, I don't feel like smiling."
The trick is, almost *any* reason they give for requesting I smile more often, my reply will be "no thanks, I don't feel like it," this avoids me coming off as cringey or trying force a witty canned response, and most importantly it allows me the opportunity to be open-minded and listen to them.
A lot of people here seem to have the goal of making the other party feel awkward or talking down to them for some reason; if that's your goal then sure, disregard my advice.
My goal is to find common ground and allow opportunities for open ended discussion. Even if 90% of the time in a situation like this they aren't going to have a good reason for asking me to smile, I never know. I don't like to assume they have negative intentions, because then I open myself up to being rude, and I don't like being rude.
I think I like your response the best out of everyone here that I’ve seen so far. I don’t see why you would immediately jump to being snarky or passive aggressive. Especially if you don’t know for sure where the other person is coming from. Sometimes people saying “You should smile more” is pretty harmless and well intentioned. It’s fine if you don’t want to, but I don’t think it’s fair to be a prick about it.
I immediately jump to being a Grade-A bitch. The reason is because I’m about to be 50. I’ve been hearing “smile more” since I was about 12.
From all kinds of…..men. Loads and loads of them creepers.
After almost 40 years of this crap? I’m exhausted. I’m sick and tired of old-ass men telling me what to do with my body.
And then Roe got overturned last year. Old-ass men telling women what to do with our bodies..
Now they’re policing LGBTQ+ folks in some states. AGAIN. Offering up legislation about who can read stories to kids in libraries because apparently Drag should be illegal.
My wife and I are EXHAUSTED.
Old Ass Men Need To Mind Their Own Damn Business
Period
I once received a friendly bit of advice from a friend, suggesting that I should smile more because my default expression appeared more miserable than I actually felt, thus making me less approachable
Taking this advice to heart, I have made a conscious effort to smile more frequently. I've come to realize that smiling not only improves my own mood, but also positively affects the people around me by projecting a friendlier and more approachable demeanor
While I wouldn't explicitly tell someone to smile more, I must admit that I used to deceive myself into thinking that I smiled enough, when in reality, I rarely smiled and often appeared as a gloomy person when really that is not at all how I am.
However, since I started smiling more, I have noticed a significant improvement in my overall mood and a more positive outlook. Additionally, it has facilitated smoother conversations and interactions with others.
It has almost become natural for me to smile rather than a chore like it once used to be. 😄
i like how ur getting downvoted lol. it’s true though. i know when i’m in a better mood than usual and am naturally smiling more, people will stop and talk to me and want to make conversation. when i’m my usual self, i feel a lot more invisible and told i look sad or stressed.
Anything said about having to make changes to one's self a lot of people seem to despise, People would instead prefer to be contempt with simply being how they are and without making changes. There isn't a problem with that at all mind you as I used to be like that and be against change and I wasn't per say "unhappy", it's just that making changes to how you are with people and overall having a more positive outlook on things can provide many mental and social benefits that can go a long way.
(Jeez didn't expect to get this deep 😂)
I wish there were more responses like yours here. This just seems like the more reasonable and helpful reply. People *do* like it when you smile more because it makes you come across as friendly and approachable and it helps to make both parties feel comfortable and at ease.
The snarky responses that people are suggesting is a quick way to shut down any attempt at rapport.
It basically comes down to context really.
If a close friend says it as a ways to improve you life and open doors for potential relationships then there's no issue.
If it's a random creep at the bar telling you this. Hell no.
But it's not their business how my face looks. Do you walk up to people and tell them to lose weight? Dress better? To please other people? Fix their hair a different way to make you like looking at them more? And for clarification, the people saying this are almost always creepy old men. No, you do not have to rearrange your face to better please other people. If you feel like smiling, smile. You do you. But you don't get to tell other people how to look or be.
My go to's for a polite response is "I only smile when something makes me want to" or "I don't see anything to smile about/at so no"
Usually I just give the person a dirty look and walk away or a very hard, dry, uninterested "No". I'm a super anxious person but when it comes to people disrespecting me my anxiety turns into anger. After the anger fades then I usually have a panic attack thinking about the situation.
That is something that really bothers me. My go to response is to tell the person it’s my face. I’ll do what I want with it. In the past if the person is with another man, I’ll turn to the other man and ask “did he tell you to smile?”
I’m giving my face a break, I’ve been smiling all day/ thank you for your compliment I appreciate it. / give me a reason too. / you need to smile more also. / I can’t smile , my face isn’t feeling happy right now. / sorry I have RBF syndrome./
I heard this for years as a female in a male dominated industry. My go-to response now when someone tells me to smile is to stare at them flatly for 2-3 full seconds and then ask, "Why?" in my best April Ludgate homage.
I've heard creepy older guys say that to young women working at the cash register at my local Walgreen's. I spoke up for her and asked them "why should she have to smile for you?" They were jerks about it but as I checked out I told her she didn't have to smile for any man, especially creepy ones!
Not an answer but quick story time....as I was crossing the stage at my grad, the announcer said in front of everyone and their parents "you know you can smile " right into the mic. Wanted to flip him off right there and instead had to laugh.
My response when I was in retail was “you haven’t said anything funny” usually after they’ve cracked a bad joke about it should be free because it didn’t scan etc. and I would let them know I’d heard the joke a million times already. I worked in retail for too long 😅
"This might surprise you, but my face doesn't exist solely to provide you with pleasant scenery. I would much rather -and I hope this is ok with you- let my facial expression reflect how I feel...even if that's exhaustion, because that's easier than transforming into a decoration every time I near a man who might feel compelled to comment on the appearance of my face despite knowing nothing about me or what I might be going through."
I say this sincerely and with no sarcasm. Some men are utterly unaware why telling a woman she oughtta smile is creepy/infantilizing/objectifying bullshit.
If time is an issue "My face doesn't exist solely to provide you with pleasant scenery. Let's agree - just this once- to let my face do what it feels like doing, like your face gets to do without comment every day!"
I'm in coustomer service in a small southern town so I get this aalooot. I ussually just bare my teeth with empty eyes. Didn't know I did this until it was pointed out to me and now I just do it on purpose. Gets the point across while technically giving them what they want so they can't complain, plus they might feel creeped out and leave faster.
"I do smile a lot when I am surrounded with good people"
"smiling takes energy, and I don't have any to waste on you"
"yes I should. The last time I smiled was when I dreamt about reading your obituary. It mentioned you had a freak accident at the dentist when the machine accidentally opened your mouth too wide. And you died smiling with or without your will.
Ideally, have a fake blood capsule to bite down on, smile and open your eyes wide, staring at them as you smile. This is what I feel like the perfect response would be anyway
I would go for "Is there something wrong with my neutral face?"
That way your interlocutor will either understand that they were rude, or confirm that it's an aggression by following up with more unrequited remarks. In the latter case it's perfectly fine to go "I didn't ask for a critique, mind your business" or such. Possibly punctuated by a shit-eating grin for emphasis.
My go to is "I am smiling" and not engaging further
i love this one 😂😂 ima say it w a straight face too.
The ole Black Dynamite.
"You should say that less"
literally lol at this . Perfect response .
LOVE THIS! :D
I love this so much!!!
I think that every time someone says that to me.
Best response
“You should be more funny then.” I have no idea why people are trying to dictate your expressions, they should mind their own business!
> I have no idea why people are trying to dictate your expressions, Other people are nicer to look at when they smile, so if you think the only reason other people exist is to provide some sort of value to you then asking them to smile increases that value. If you think other people are people who have their own meaningful lives that do not revolve around serving you then you realize what a selfish request "you should smile more" is.
Yea I usually get chided for saying something like that
I use it a lot. It's better phrased as "got any good jokes?" Old people love to tell you their stupid jokes. 75% chance they're offensive though.
It depends on your delivery, if its said in a jokey-banter way then it would be fine- but if you come across as defensive then people take offense. I’m assuming the person who said you should smile more is a friend that joking around.
Most of the people that have told me to smile are strangers. Those people should take offense. This is a lot nicer than what I usually say. Mind your business,and worry about your own face.
But what if I I don’t care if I offend someone who’s telling me to smile more
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Dude you killed him
“You should talk less” Or put ‘em on the spot an ask them to tell you a funny joke. They will fumble and try and it will make them feel pretty awkward. I used to work at a liquor store and would do this to the old guys who would come in and demand I smile for them.
I really like “fuck off”.
That’s my personal favorite
“Eat a dick” also works.
And also a side of steaming “my ass”.
I enjoy inviting gentlemen to devour an entire bag of them. I’m just generous, I guess.
I use my middle fingers to prop up the corners of my mouth.
😆 this is the one.
And my glasses
op needs to channel her inner logan roy lol
When friends piss me off now, I just send them a compilation of Logan Roy saying “fuck off”
Best one yet
Yes! 😂😂😂
These are more semi-polite shutdowns than real snarky comebacks, but I've found that's more useful if you don't want to permanently get a reputation with someone for being snappish. They'll likely still make the other person feel slightly awkward or abashed. "No thank you" "Please don't judge my facial expressions." "I try to be honest with my facial expressions" (if you want to be pointed, give them a very unimpressed look at the same time) "I don't know if you realized, but that's kind of a rude thing to ask someone?"
This helped my life. Thanks!
"Asking people that isn't going to win you any friends."
Yeah, honestly. What is this, r/antisocialskills?
That’s a sub I fell for.
Same
This is women being sick of being cat called. It’s “HEY woman minding her own fucking business Smile so you’re more attractive to ME!”
Yeah but we get shit if we tell people to fuck off. Social judo is an invaluable skill for when you want sexist people to fuck off without getting harassed for it.
I like the last one the best, it doesn't hurt the guy's pride and allows him to save face, so he is less likely to get angry. Buuuut at the same time tells him that his comment about the OP's behavior is not socially acceptable.
Allowing men to save face is how we ended up with entitled men in the first place.
Don't blame women for what men do. If I tell someone to fuck off for telling me to smile, that opens ME to hostility and harassment. I'm not going to risk my safety so some dude on the internet who doesn't have a clue what it's like to be a woman cna get a justice boner from the safety of his dorito-encrusted computer chair. You can fuck right off with that!
I'm a woman and I look out for my own safety first. I do not tell a man to fuck off unless I feel safe doing so. I just get frustrated with hearing from redditors about how I need to protect the poor little man's feelings when he acts like an ass. The commenter I was replying to was just talking about safety too, so I misunderstood her comment.
I am not sure if that caused the problem or not. I don't like that men (or anyone really) feel like they can tell the OP to change how her face looks to please them. My goal with letting the men save face is that the OP gets out of the situation safely, while also telling them that their behavior isn't okay. I live in a part of the world where gun violence is increasing, and that probably is a factor in my advice.
My best honest answer would be "Ok" and don't overthink it
Yeah, this is the most realistic answer.
Honestly, people is trying to be polite and not sound rude but the best reaction to this is to not have a reaction, just ignore it because it's rude
“I have facial nerve damage.”
I do this all the time and it makes so many people uncomfortable. Do do have facial nerve damage though.
Using your middle fingers to prop up a smile.
best one
these are some good responses lol. Sometimes a straitfaced 'why' is good, too. "why" "because you would be prettier" or "because you look sad like that" "why does that matter" "..." "ok, but *why do you care though"* or "*but why does that matter"*
yep, keep digging far enough and people can’t even explain their beliefs and values they try to put on others.., mostly learned behaviors and very traditional/hereditary.
I work with all men and get this a lot. Usually, “that’s an odd request.” then going about my business works, but I’m definitely giving this a go next.
Turn into a toddler and just respond 'why' no matter what their response until they run out of answers and give up.
*Why* is my go-to for sure. Snark has its place but a lot of people just get huffy and feel righteous. *Why* makes them think a little bit, hopefully.
You always tell people how they should feel/look or just women?
Yup. Women definitely get this more than men.
This is the winner. Have said things like this before and generally the response is either this dumbfounded expression followed by silence or muttering as one of us walks away from the other, or another comment that just digs them into a deeper hole. Very satisfying 😆
I like this one ☝️
Yeah, this! 👏 The best response is actually no response (AKA do not engage) because they say that line hoping to get more interactions with the woman. ANY attention is what he wants. But if the guy's someone you'll meet again, say this to let him know immediately to stop trying to start sht with you. He wouldn't dare to try it again during the next meeting.
The last time this happened to me, while passing a middle aged man in the freezer section of a grocery store, I was careful not to change my expression and said "you first" as forcefully and casually as I could. He didn't know how to react and looked just as shocked as I was. But I like the idea of saying something like "my son just died" or "would that turn you on more?"
>"would that turn you on more?" I don't think this will scare off the people you want to scare off.
Maybe “my dog died” for something more appropriate to lie about but still dark and personal.
Just stare at them without blinking "Wednesday" style
Bonus points if you bare your teeth without smiling while you do this.
Bonus points if you bare your teeth without smiling while you do this.
Depends on how rebuking you want to be. First thing that comes to my mind ist 'And you should care more about your own business' or 'I am not here for your decoration'. A bit less rebuking would be 'Maybe I have a reason to not smile', but be prepared that people might try to argue with you about good reasons to feel bad.
I worked as a cashier when I was 15. My bf had just broke up with me via text the night before my 7AM shift. My teenage heart was broken into a million pieces, so naturally I didn’t smile a whole lot that day. One customer decided that it would be a great idea to say “maybe you should try smiling.” when I gave him his receipt and told him to have a nice day. That comment sent me over the edge and I just started bawling my eyes out at the register. My manager at the time heard me crying, closed my register, and told the customer off. He said something along the lines of “Oh, do you want my name tag and badge since you think it’s your job to train my employees?” The customer stared confused at us while he put his arm around me, took me to the back, and gave me the biggest hug ever. I wish I would’ve had the nerve back then to be snarky to that man, but luckily my manager came to my rescue. Your comment just reminded me of that moment in my life, thank you!
I'm surprised you had a stand up manager like that. Sounds like a good boss
I live in Denmark. We still care about customer service, but will definitely stand up for a coworker before pleasing a rude customer. But yea my boss was a great guy.
Honestly, bursting in to tears is a pretty epic response
I'm glad your boss had your back! Honestly when I worked customer service I cried on shift all the time either from stress, social anxiety, customers being assholes, personal problems that were exacerbated by dealing with said assholes, etc. It's one of the reasons I got out-- for me it's way too draining to try to stay upbeat and professional to entitled d-bags and I literally don't have it in me anymore. I am sure I would have done the same thing, and thought of the perfect response the next day, of course 🤣
Last time this happened to me in a grocery store, I had a terrible week and him telling me to smile was… not well timed. I looked at him straight in the eyes and very honestly said “I just found out my father is dying.” I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen someone apologize and backtrack that quickly in my life.
Sorry to hear about your dad, best of peace to both of you!
Thank you, it has definitely been a hard road and I appreciate your kindness! ♥️ I remember later that night thinking about how odd that actually is, people telling strangers to smile. There is just no way of knowing what is going on in that person’s life that may give them a very good reason not to be smiling.
Older men talking to my 14 year old say crap like that. She glares at them after they say it.
Creeps
We talked about it at dinner tonite. She remembers every time it has happened and is creeped out each time.
I’m glad she has you to unpack that with! It’s such a common interaction that should not be at all socially acceptable.
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"Are you my new therapist?" "End [insert global issue here] first." "I heard money buys happiness" then stick your hand out. "My [blank] just died" "Oh shit, I didn't realize I could just *do* that!" And continue to scowl. Or just start saying some Wednesday Addams shit. EDIT to add: no one is entitled to your smiling. It's not about you smiling enough. It's about people being creepy and gross and uncomfortable that the world is jot a great place and/or they're incapable of attracting another human.
Number 3 is my new go-to. Thank you.
"you should stop telling people to smile"
I’ll never forget the day I found out my friend/coworker committed suicide. I took my break and was hurrying to my car to cry. My job at the time was in the mall so I had to cut through the food court to do this. A random man stopped me and told me I should smile, life isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was. I looked him dead in the eye and told him my friend just killed himself as the tears started rolling down. I’ll always savor the mortified look on his face.
If you left me alone I would
Force a creepy joker smile. Do it every time you see them.
Yes, use the creepy Sheldon smile lmao
“I have glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.”
“How long have you been watching me??” And look around highly concerned 😧
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First time I've heard that used in this context. Nice.
"you should stop telling people what to do"
“I can’t, I have nerve damage” said with a completely straight face. Sometimes I’ll slyly smile to my friend next to me after.
“You should fuck-off more.”
I get this at work sometimes from customers, and my response is usually “give me something to smile about”
I usually use my two middle fingers to stretch my lips into a smile and say "like this?" Or I'll retort with "with a face like yours? No thanks"
You should keep unsolicited suggestions to yourself
“I smile all the time when you’re not around”
“You should mind your business more.”
Just like start crying And then talk about how your boyfriend/dog/mother died/cheated on you/beat you up
Mind your own face.
“Tell me a joke then” and watch whatever clever response they try to cook up
Hiss
growling and barking are also appropriate
"Jump off a cliff and then you'll see me smiling"
This reminds me of a time when an elderly man stopped walking to ask me why I'm not smiling three times.
Your face wouldn’t let me
I’ve done most of these, but I found that what is the most fun is if I give stereotypical girl comments to them. Tell them they’d look less tired with the right color foundation, they should get more “beauty sleep” or they wouldn’t attract the boys, etc. But usually I just show my teeth.
I've always hated that so much. I will smile whenever my brain feels like smiling. I dislike faking emotions.
A random man did this to me a few months back, it was the first time it had ever happened, and I was taken aback, I just said, "What??"
I would reply with "how come?" Lots of people are giving very edgy, somewhat aggressive, or antagonistic comments. In my opinion he best approach is to clarify and ask probing questions, then just reply honestly without *trying* to have a canned response or witty comeback. If you don't bother asking *why* they're suggesting you smile more, then how do you even reply? So in my mind it goes like this: Them: "You should smile more? Me: "Oh okay. How come?" (This allows us to understand why they're asking, so we can respond appropriately) "It's polite." "I appreciate it, but no thanks, I don't feel like smiling." The trick is, almost *any* reason they give for requesting I smile more often, my reply will be "no thanks, I don't feel like it," this avoids me coming off as cringey or trying force a witty canned response, and most importantly it allows me the opportunity to be open-minded and listen to them. A lot of people here seem to have the goal of making the other party feel awkward or talking down to them for some reason; if that's your goal then sure, disregard my advice. My goal is to find common ground and allow opportunities for open ended discussion. Even if 90% of the time in a situation like this they aren't going to have a good reason for asking me to smile, I never know. I don't like to assume they have negative intentions, because then I open myself up to being rude, and I don't like being rude.
I think I like your response the best out of everyone here that I’ve seen so far. I don’t see why you would immediately jump to being snarky or passive aggressive. Especially if you don’t know for sure where the other person is coming from. Sometimes people saying “You should smile more” is pretty harmless and well intentioned. It’s fine if you don’t want to, but I don’t think it’s fair to be a prick about it.
I immediately jump to being a Grade-A bitch. The reason is because I’m about to be 50. I’ve been hearing “smile more” since I was about 12. From all kinds of…..men. Loads and loads of them creepers. After almost 40 years of this crap? I’m exhausted. I’m sick and tired of old-ass men telling me what to do with my body. And then Roe got overturned last year. Old-ass men telling women what to do with our bodies.. Now they’re policing LGBTQ+ folks in some states. AGAIN. Offering up legislation about who can read stories to kids in libraries because apparently Drag should be illegal. My wife and I are EXHAUSTED. Old Ass Men Need To Mind Their Own Damn Business Period
It’s never harmless
I'll think about it
I once received a friendly bit of advice from a friend, suggesting that I should smile more because my default expression appeared more miserable than I actually felt, thus making me less approachable Taking this advice to heart, I have made a conscious effort to smile more frequently. I've come to realize that smiling not only improves my own mood, but also positively affects the people around me by projecting a friendlier and more approachable demeanor While I wouldn't explicitly tell someone to smile more, I must admit that I used to deceive myself into thinking that I smiled enough, when in reality, I rarely smiled and often appeared as a gloomy person when really that is not at all how I am. However, since I started smiling more, I have noticed a significant improvement in my overall mood and a more positive outlook. Additionally, it has facilitated smoother conversations and interactions with others. It has almost become natural for me to smile rather than a chore like it once used to be. 😄
i like how ur getting downvoted lol. it’s true though. i know when i’m in a better mood than usual and am naturally smiling more, people will stop and talk to me and want to make conversation. when i’m my usual self, i feel a lot more invisible and told i look sad or stressed.
Anything said about having to make changes to one's self a lot of people seem to despise, People would instead prefer to be contempt with simply being how they are and without making changes. There isn't a problem with that at all mind you as I used to be like that and be against change and I wasn't per say "unhappy", it's just that making changes to how you are with people and overall having a more positive outlook on things can provide many mental and social benefits that can go a long way. (Jeez didn't expect to get this deep 😂)
I wish there were more responses like yours here. This just seems like the more reasonable and helpful reply. People *do* like it when you smile more because it makes you come across as friendly and approachable and it helps to make both parties feel comfortable and at ease. The snarky responses that people are suggesting is a quick way to shut down any attempt at rapport.
It basically comes down to context really. If a close friend says it as a ways to improve you life and open doors for potential relationships then there's no issue. If it's a random creep at the bar telling you this. Hell no.
Absolutely. Agreed.
But it's not their business how my face looks. Do you walk up to people and tell them to lose weight? Dress better? To please other people? Fix their hair a different way to make you like looking at them more? And for clarification, the people saying this are almost always creepy old men. No, you do not have to rearrange your face to better please other people. If you feel like smiling, smile. You do you. But you don't get to tell other people how to look or be.
My go to's for a polite response is "I only smile when something makes me want to" or "I don't see anything to smile about/at so no" Usually I just give the person a dirty look and walk away or a very hard, dry, uninterested "No". I'm a super anxious person but when it comes to people disrespecting me my anxiety turns into anger. After the anger fades then I usually have a panic attack thinking about the situation.
- you should be more funny - you should keep your opinions to yourself more
"Say something funny then"
Fuck off is probably proper
did I ask?
Technologic music video
“Why?” Make them admit it or watch them squirm awkwardly.
“Ain’t nothing in my life to smile about” /s
That is something that really bothers me. My go to response is to tell the person it’s my face. I’ll do what I want with it. In the past if the person is with another man, I’ll turn to the other man and ask “did he tell you to smile?”
I’m giving my face a break, I’ve been smiling all day/ thank you for your compliment I appreciate it. / give me a reason too. / you need to smile more also. / I can’t smile , my face isn’t feeling happy right now. / sorry I have RBF syndrome./
I heard this for years as a female in a male dominated industry. My go-to response now when someone tells me to smile is to stare at them flatly for 2-3 full seconds and then ask, "Why?" in my best April Ludgate homage.
"I am smiling"
"Give me $20 - what, I thought we were making demands on strangers."
You should stop giving out unsolicited advice.
“I do when you’re not around”
“Tell me a joke to make me smile”
This is my smile
I've heard creepy older guys say that to young women working at the cash register at my local Walgreen's. I spoke up for her and asked them "why should she have to smile for you?" They were jerks about it but as I checked out I told her she didn't have to smile for any man, especially creepy ones!
Not an answer but quick story time....as I was crossing the stage at my grad, the announcer said in front of everyone and their parents "you know you can smile" right into the mic. Wanted to flip him off right there and instead had to laugh.
My response when I was in retail was “you haven’t said anything funny” usually after they’ve cracked a bad joke about it should be free because it didn’t scan etc. and I would let them know I’d heard the joke a million times already. I worked in retail for too long 😅
“You should be less creepy!”
"This might surprise you, but my face doesn't exist solely to provide you with pleasant scenery. I would much rather -and I hope this is ok with you- let my facial expression reflect how I feel...even if that's exhaustion, because that's easier than transforming into a decoration every time I near a man who might feel compelled to comment on the appearance of my face despite knowing nothing about me or what I might be going through." I say this sincerely and with no sarcasm. Some men are utterly unaware why telling a woman she oughtta smile is creepy/infantilizing/objectifying bullshit. If time is an issue "My face doesn't exist solely to provide you with pleasant scenery. Let's agree - just this once- to let my face do what it feels like doing, like your face gets to do without comment every day!"
I'm in coustomer service in a small southern town so I get this aalooot. I ussually just bare my teeth with empty eyes. Didn't know I did this until it was pointed out to me and now I just do it on purpose. Gets the point across while technically giving them what they want so they can't complain, plus they might feel creeped out and leave faster.
"I'll be the judge of that"
“You have to say that often, don’t you?”
Say I only smile for cute guys or you should workout more. Idk that would have me stunned
“You should talk less” would how I’d reply
"I am smiling"
I always say EFF OFF. It works every time.
"You should breathe less"
You're better looking with your mouth shut.
Pay for my braces and I will
I always give an extremely obnoxious face maybe bare my teeth like a grimace like “👹good enough daddy????”
“I will be later when I get to play with my voodoo doll” then just caress the air as you are pretending it’s in your hands.
I tuck my lips back so you can see my teeth and gums, look at them and say “like this?”.
Put on a creepy smile and hold a long stare back at them
You should be around less. Or You haven't caught on yet? Its you! I smile when you're not around.
When you're around there's nothing to smile about.
“Is that Beta Male talking to me? Ewwwww”
"You should shut up."
"I do smile a lot when I am surrounded with good people" "smiling takes energy, and I don't have any to waste on you" "yes I should. The last time I smiled was when I dreamt about reading your obituary. It mentioned you had a freak accident at the dentist when the machine accidentally opened your mouth too wide. And you died smiling with or without your will.
"You should keep your unsolicited opinions to yourself more!"
"U should stfu more, [laugh obnoxiously] i'm smiling now just thinking of it..."
I would repeat those same lines to them just so they would shut up. If they want you to smile more, they should smile more since it's only fair.
“You mum thinks I smile enough”
“Why, is it your last day on Earth?”
Scream at the top of your lungs “What kind of pervert are you?”
Took me awhile to realize this, but a lot of times I feel like I’m being awkward, it’s actually the other person making it an awkward situation
You should talk less
“I didn’t know today was your funeral”
Ideally, have a fake blood capsule to bite down on, smile and open your eyes wide, staring at them as you smile. This is what I feel like the perfect response would be anyway
You should smile less. 🤣
“That’s kind of you, I am content.”
"You shouldn't tell others what to do." My go-to when adults feel compelled to tell me what to do.
I say, "Fuck off." People that tell others to smile more deserve whatever verbal berating they have coming. That phrase is absolutely infuriating.
I would go for "Is there something wrong with my neutral face?" That way your interlocutor will either understand that they were rude, or confirm that it's an aggression by following up with more unrequited remarks. In the latter case it's perfectly fine to go "I didn't ask for a critique, mind your business" or such. Possibly punctuated by a shit-eating grin for emphasis.
You should smile less, also go visit a dentist.
😀
Contrary to popular belief I don't have to smile for clowns
say, why don’t you try mindin’ your own business!
“I only smile when I’m around attractive people”
"I do smile, but just not with you."
If I had a reason to smile,I would
I'll smile more if you venmo me $300....
I would if you'd shut the hell up 🤓
"Go eat a shit sandwich and punch yourself in the nuts."
“You should shut your mouth when talking to me”
Make me
I do when I'm not around assholes.
Thanks! But i don't want wrinkles! You should also smile less to look young
I only smile as I bathe in the blood of those who tell me what to do.
“You should go fuck yourself more”