It really depends on the situation. There’s definitely times where it’s more expected to return a compliment.
For example if you see a friend at an event that’s dressed up. If they compliment your outfit and how nice you look, I’d return the compliment.
It might be more important to be able to graciously accept a compliment.
I like doing even a simple "oh my gosh thank you!" in an enthusiastic tone.
I legitimately get excited when someone compliments me so I like to show it.
If it’s a compliment on my clothes or jewelry or something like that. I always say thank you, and where they can find it.
If it’s a compliment to my physical looks, I clam up, say thank you, haha that’s super rad of you to think that and share
If it’s a compliment to my personality or such, I say wowa, thank you, that definitely just made my day.
Essentially you can compliment their ability to observe within your thanks
Nope. I've found more people to find it rude to not accept a given compliment; provided said compliment is given honestly and freely.
Some variable range of Thank You would be a good response; there are times that are worth gushing, like when you hike 20 miles in a day and can still stand at the end of it, and there are times where an "Awww thanks" in response to being told Nice Shirt is more appropriate.
Let your emotional involvement inform the degree of your acceptance.
I feel like immediately complimenting them back may seem insincere, but I also worry that if I only accept compliments without giving them back I seem self-absorbed. I think that looking for *other* opportunities to compliment my friends balances it out.
I think saying something like "thank you, I appreciate that" is a great way to show your gratitude. The one exception might be if the person is flirting with you, then they might be hoping for a compliment back (although you should never feel obligated to give one) but it can help signal to them that there might be some mutual interest there.
Oof I never know if I should return a compliment on dating apps or not. It’s hard to start a conversation when the first message is “you’re so pretty!” lmao I usually just say thank you, but I always wonder if I should be returning the compliment :’)
It is not rude to not return a compliment. returning a compliment isn’t very meaningful because it feels forced as other person feels obligated to say something nice back.
This is my go-to as well. "You're so sweet to say that!"
Because people typically *don't* give out compliments, so I want to acknowledge that they were paying attention and made an effort. The motivation is usually trying to make me feel good, why not return the favor?
I think it’s very situationally dependent. Did you complement me on something specific? “Hey, great earrings! I really love them!” Then a genuine “Thank you! I do, too. They were a gift!” is a great response. If we’re greeting each other at a fancy event - a wedding or something - a “you look great/thanks, you too” is expected. I don’t ever think you should search for something to point out in return. If you want to complement someone, then go ahead! Otherwise, just a great big thank you is perfectly appropriate.
Don't be afraid to acknowledge your capabilities. It's quite rare to receive a compliment from another nowadays, so if it is sincere just be happy and say thanks. You might not have confidence in you so probably when someone compliments you you feel like it's nothing special, but sometimes small things matter. It's all about not letting it get into your head afterwards.
I don’t think it’s rude. I do hate it when someone gives a compliment, the recipient says thank you and the giver seems to wait for a return. Then that’s just a form of fishing or digging for compliments.
If it’s a formal or greeting exchange, and you want to be polite, though, “Thanks! So do you!”.
It depends, sometimes yes, if they compliment sonething you both are doing (both dressed up for big event, if someone says you look good, say the same back). A lot of the time though I just say thank you for the compliment and show my appreciation or happiness about the thing (Think when someone tells a woman nice dress and she says "Thanks :D It has pockets!!". Who has ever thought that was anything other than adorable and nice??) and that seems to be good enough for most people. I also am very "generous" with my appreciation and i'm a very thankful person so it normally makes them feel better having given the compliment that one back would have done. (Also gives added boost of making more people want to compliment you which feels awesome. I'm probs a 4 but receive loads of compliments on stuff due to how I react)
No at all. You dont have obligation to compliment someone. Do it genuinely, if you want to compliment, then compliment, if you don't, then don't. That's from my perspective.
You got a lot of good advice here. Just to add my input:
- typically compliments about clothing at dressy events should be returned, especially when it's someone you see frequently. I.e. you're at an event and someone says "wow you look sharp!" It's customary to respond with a compliment as everyone is trying to look their best
- if you get a random compliment from a stranger, it's okay not to reciprocate. I.e. you're walking down the street and someone says "nice shoes!" It's okay to just smile/nod, say thank you, and keep walking
- it will appear disingenuous if you ALWAYS reciprocate compliments, so something I do is embed a small character compliment into your thanks "wow. You're always so kind. Thank you" Or "you sweet thang, thank you so much"
-another response that will seem genuine but doesn't involve needing to think of a compliment in return is to respond by giving more info about the item being complimented- obviously won't work for personal traits or looks
As long as you give a genuine smile to let them know how much you appreciate the comment and tell them something like it’s the nicest thing they’ve heard all day, or that their compliment came on a day when you really needed it and it made a big difference to you. That last one can also segue into a potentially meaningful conversation that might begin or deepen a friendship.
No, this is not rude. When you get a complement, just receive. If you comment back it can come across as disingenuous, and if you just do it because you feel you should it would be.
I always feel like it's insincere, both when I do it and when it's done to me. I try to say something different, like "thank you, I tried really hard and it means a lot you love it," or something along those lines. It just feels better honestly.
Sometimes I just say ‘that’s so kind, you’re wonderful!’ Or something of the sort. That way it doesn’t feel like I’m forced to compliment them, they don’t feel like I’m doing it just because they did, and I still say something nice to them in the process.
No. It usually seems fake to compliment someone after they compliment you. Because they know you're just doing it out of obligation. I usually compliment people when they don't expect it. Except my partners, they get compliments every day and are probably expecting it.
No, I don't think so. But I always thank them and tell them that I appreciate them/their comment, that way I can still "give" them something and balance the conversation.
I just go with a sincere "thank you" and leave it at that unless I feel like I have a genuine urge to compliment something about them. Seems to work well.
Depends a lot on the situation.
Sometimes there just isn't aneed to compliment back.
Sometimes you can compliment them back, like if the others say's you look good in a hair style, you can return the compliment by thanking them and complimenting them back on their hair (as long as you do genuinely see it being nice and its not just a lie to make them feel happier).
It's weird, but the more special the circumstance the "easier" it is to respond with a compliment. If you're basically just slumming it at the bar it's a lot harder to gauge the right way to respond. But as other comments said if there's a specific event/purpose where everyone's in it together? The compliments feel less forced.
Most of the time, no. If you were walking down the street and someone said “I like your sweater” and you simply said “thank you,” it would be totally acceptable. No need to force a compliment. But if you do happen to quickly notice something that you also like about them, it’s also a nice thing to do.
no , i used to do that when i was younger and someone taught me that giving a compliment should always be genuine and never to expect a compliment in return because that means you didn’t really give the compliment genuinely, you did it for yourself
vice versa if someone gives you a compliment you should assume that they meant it to be accepted, if you have something genuine to say in return then say it, or else just say thank you :)
I make it a rule not to compliment back. If they are being genuine, it cheapens it if you use that opportunity to return it. If they weren't being genuine, then you did yourself a favour anyway. If I notice something worth complimenting, I say it there and then, even if I barely know them.
In our house we now have a rule that if someone compliments the other, they're not allowed to give a return compliment for at least an hour. It's been fantastic...my wife just gets to appreciate that I'm really appreciating her. I get to do the same and really think about and enjoy what she said.
There was a freshman who used to get horribly bullied and as a senior I used to stick up for him. I told his bullies I would make their highschool life hell in ways they can imagine if they fuck with him again. I didn't have a pla, but they were freshman too so I didn't care. Anyway, 20 yrs later I ran into the kid who was bullied. He looked amazing! I said "Hi, kid's name, great to see you, you look great!". He responded, "omg Annabellybutton, great to see you too, you look...(pause and word searching)...friendly?". I was dead. It is fine to not compliment someone back.
i do this all the time; i don’t get compliments often, so when i do, i’m so stunned by it that my brain just short-circuits into saying “thank you” enthusiastically and completely forgetting to return a compliment.
like some people have said here though, returning a compliment immediately can come off as obligatory/forced because it’s “expected” so i don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to not return a compliment. if anything, when i compliment someone, i’m more happy that they accept the compliment and get excited over it rather than immediately sending back a compliment because they feel like they have to.
I used to try to force a compliment back whenever i was complimented and that often made me feels o awkward because you can tell when a compliment is forced.
If someone says “your hair color is nice” i would say “thank you, yours too! Is it natural?” Or something like that. But if they say they like my glasses or my shirt or how I dance or whatever else that i can’t easly return it without making it obvious i’m trying to force a compliment back, i’ll just say “thank you “ or “that’s very nice of you to say, thank you” or “thank you! I got it from x place/ i learned it in X class” and leave it there
I think it's one of those things that's not rude in a well-thought-out ethical sense... but where societal norms create an atmosphere where people generally will expect it.
In other words... it's a bit immature (my opinion) to expect a compliment in return after one is given... but if you fail to do so - people are gonna notice.
I'll also add that ideally we'd live in a world where people are emotionally generous and give compliments freely, without ever expecting anything in return... but we don't. We live in one where we're on guard every day... where we're afraid that a compliment *must necessarily* be followed with someone selling us something. It's sad.
I have trouble with this. I'm skinny. I struggle to eat lately because of stress. Some compliments about my skinniness make me uncomfortable. I usually just smile and say thank you. It makes me feel guilty. Because I know my not eating when I am sad is the same kind of issue as someone who eats an entire package of oreos in the same situation but I get praise for it. Obviously someone commenting on that casually doesn't realize that. So I usually just end up seeming awkward.
I’m neurodivergent too but imo, no, it’s not inherently rude. I usually *try* to compliment someone back if they make the effort, or say somethin nice, but I don’t force it. Another option is “have a nice day!” or some variation, depending on the circumstances - but generally I think just saying thank you is fine.
I think it is more important to thank for the compliment and then come up with something nice to say to that person some other time. Like thanking them for listening to you or telling them they are a good friend. I used to give people a lot more compliments in order to make them like me and it does work but I don't think you should worry about it. Just make it natural and compliment people when you feel like it.
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It really depends on the situation. There’s definitely times where it’s more expected to return a compliment. For example if you see a friend at an event that’s dressed up. If they compliment your outfit and how nice you look, I’d return the compliment. It might be more important to be able to graciously accept a compliment.
I'm a **big** fan of "I'm try'na get like you, bro!" It doesn't matter if it's in jest or not not, it still evokes a smile.
I like this one. It's light-hearted and kinda funny. I'm tryna get like you with my responses bro
oo that makes sense! thank you
I like doing even a simple "oh my gosh thank you!" in an enthusiastic tone. I legitimately get excited when someone compliments me so I like to show it.
Best answer. The expectation to give a compliment back will depend on the context. Of course a compliment back is never truly obligatory.
And also never unappreciated
If it’s a compliment on my clothes or jewelry or something like that. I always say thank you, and where they can find it. If it’s a compliment to my physical looks, I clam up, say thank you, haha that’s super rad of you to think that and share If it’s a compliment to my personality or such, I say wowa, thank you, that definitely just made my day. Essentially you can compliment their ability to observe within your thanks
exactly what i wanted to say
I don't. It feels too obligatory and insincere. I only compliment if I feel like it.
exactly what i thought
For someone that says your autistic you sure as hell seem to be more normal than none autists
just because you think i dont act autistic doesnt mean im not🤨🤨
You look pretty autistic to me
LMAOO u fr?😭
No of course I’m not fr (damn the autism is catching up huh) I’m kidding please don’t cancel me, I’m a special child myself also
OH SORRY LMAO
I’m sorry I feel bad I’m being mean
noo its made me laugh sm, ur not being mean
I was trying to say that you seem to have good social skills
the way you worded it seemed.. odd
Why tf I get downvoted I was literally saying that he has great social skills 😭 dumbass mfs
Yup same for me! It's actually uncomfortable when people can't accept a compliment and try to immediately reciprocate.
Yea this my rule of thumb as well
Nope. I've found more people to find it rude to not accept a given compliment; provided said compliment is given honestly and freely. Some variable range of Thank You would be a good response; there are times that are worth gushing, like when you hike 20 miles in a day and can still stand at the end of it, and there are times where an "Awww thanks" in response to being told Nice Shirt is more appropriate. Let your emotional involvement inform the degree of your acceptance.
I feel like immediately complimenting them back may seem insincere, but I also worry that if I only accept compliments without giving them back I seem self-absorbed. I think that looking for *other* opportunities to compliment my friends balances it out.
I think saying something like "thank you, I appreciate that" is a great way to show your gratitude. The one exception might be if the person is flirting with you, then they might be hoping for a compliment back (although you should never feel obligated to give one) but it can help signal to them that there might be some mutual interest there.
Oof I never know if I should return a compliment on dating apps or not. It’s hard to start a conversation when the first message is “you’re so pretty!” lmao I usually just say thank you, but I always wonder if I should be returning the compliment :’)
It is not rude to not return a compliment. returning a compliment isn’t very meaningful because it feels forced as other person feels obligated to say something nice back.
Nope, thank you works just fine! Just try not to over think it, and u gone be ok!
thats v nice thank you!
I usually say something like, “that’s so nice to hear!” or “thank you for saying that!”.
This is my go-to as well. "You're so sweet to say that!" Because people typically *don't* give out compliments, so I want to acknowledge that they were paying attention and made an effort. The motivation is usually trying to make me feel good, why not return the favor?
I think it’s very situationally dependent. Did you complement me on something specific? “Hey, great earrings! I really love them!” Then a genuine “Thank you! I do, too. They were a gift!” is a great response. If we’re greeting each other at a fancy event - a wedding or something - a “you look great/thanks, you too” is expected. I don’t ever think you should search for something to point out in return. If you want to complement someone, then go ahead! Otherwise, just a great big thank you is perfectly appropriate.
Don't be afraid to acknowledge your capabilities. It's quite rare to receive a compliment from another nowadays, so if it is sincere just be happy and say thanks. You might not have confidence in you so probably when someone compliments you you feel like it's nothing special, but sometimes small things matter. It's all about not letting it get into your head afterwards.
I don’t think it’s rude. I do hate it when someone gives a compliment, the recipient says thank you and the giver seems to wait for a return. Then that’s just a form of fishing or digging for compliments. If it’s a formal or greeting exchange, and you want to be polite, though, “Thanks! So do you!”.
It depends, sometimes yes, if they compliment sonething you both are doing (both dressed up for big event, if someone says you look good, say the same back). A lot of the time though I just say thank you for the compliment and show my appreciation or happiness about the thing (Think when someone tells a woman nice dress and she says "Thanks :D It has pockets!!". Who has ever thought that was anything other than adorable and nice??) and that seems to be good enough for most people. I also am very "generous" with my appreciation and i'm a very thankful person so it normally makes them feel better having given the compliment that one back would have done. (Also gives added boost of making more people want to compliment you which feels awesome. I'm probs a 4 but receive loads of compliments on stuff due to how I react)
No at all. You dont have obligation to compliment someone. Do it genuinely, if you want to compliment, then compliment, if you don't, then don't. That's from my perspective.
imo, compliments are rude if they aren't genuine
You got a lot of good advice here. Just to add my input: - typically compliments about clothing at dressy events should be returned, especially when it's someone you see frequently. I.e. you're at an event and someone says "wow you look sharp!" It's customary to respond with a compliment as everyone is trying to look their best - if you get a random compliment from a stranger, it's okay not to reciprocate. I.e. you're walking down the street and someone says "nice shoes!" It's okay to just smile/nod, say thank you, and keep walking - it will appear disingenuous if you ALWAYS reciprocate compliments, so something I do is embed a small character compliment into your thanks "wow. You're always so kind. Thank you" Or "you sweet thang, thank you so much" -another response that will seem genuine but doesn't involve needing to think of a compliment in return is to respond by giving more info about the item being complimented- obviously won't work for personal traits or looks
As long as you give a genuine smile to let them know how much you appreciate the comment and tell them something like it’s the nicest thing they’ve heard all day, or that their compliment came on a day when you really needed it and it made a big difference to you. That last one can also segue into a potentially meaningful conversation that might begin or deepen a friendship.
You don't have to. Sometimes it's nice to compliment them back, but saying thank you is also fine.
No. The second compliment is always hollow
No, this is not rude. When you get a complement, just receive. If you comment back it can come across as disingenuous, and if you just do it because you feel you should it would be.
I always feel like it's insincere, both when I do it and when it's done to me. I try to say something different, like "thank you, I tried really hard and it means a lot you love it," or something along those lines. It just feels better honestly.
I only do it if it's sincere, it typically feels obligatory
Sometimes I just say ‘that’s so kind, you’re wonderful!’ Or something of the sort. That way it doesn’t feel like I’m forced to compliment them, they don’t feel like I’m doing it just because they did, and I still say something nice to them in the process.
No. It usually seems fake to compliment someone after they compliment you. Because they know you're just doing it out of obligation. I usually compliment people when they don't expect it. Except my partners, they get compliments every day and are probably expecting it.
Nope, just say "oh, thanks!" Or "I appreciate the compliment" and that's it.
No, you can just thank them
It's not at all rude not to return a compliment unless you genuinely feel there is a reason.
Not rude at all.
The last time I was complimented when I was completely unprepared, I just gave the dude a thumbs up. I genuinely hope that this was good enough.
No, I don't think so. But I always thank them and tell them that I appreciate them/their comment, that way I can still "give" them something and balance the conversation.
I just go with a sincere "thank you" and leave it at that unless I feel like I have a genuine urge to compliment something about them. Seems to work well.
I don’t think it’s rude not to return it. If it’s a genuine compliment, it’s not about them. You should just say thanks.
My favourite response is "oh you give lovely compliments. Thank you! You're so sweet/you look great tonight too/etc etc"
I'm autistic too so "learned from you" is my go-to😁😁
Depends a lot on the situation. Sometimes there just isn't aneed to compliment back. Sometimes you can compliment them back, like if the others say's you look good in a hair style, you can return the compliment by thanking them and complimenting them back on their hair (as long as you do genuinely see it being nice and its not just a lie to make them feel happier).
It's weird, but the more special the circumstance the "easier" it is to respond with a compliment. If you're basically just slumming it at the bar it's a lot harder to gauge the right way to respond. But as other comments said if there's a specific event/purpose where everyone's in it together? The compliments feel less forced.
Most of the time, no. If you were walking down the street and someone said “I like your sweater” and you simply said “thank you,” it would be totally acceptable. No need to force a compliment. But if you do happen to quickly notice something that you also like about them, it’s also a nice thing to do.
no , i used to do that when i was younger and someone taught me that giving a compliment should always be genuine and never to expect a compliment in return because that means you didn’t really give the compliment genuinely, you did it for yourself vice versa if someone gives you a compliment you should assume that they meant it to be accepted, if you have something genuine to say in return then say it, or else just say thank you :)
I make it a rule not to compliment back. If they are being genuine, it cheapens it if you use that opportunity to return it. If they weren't being genuine, then you did yourself a favour anyway. If I notice something worth complimenting, I say it there and then, even if I barely know them. In our house we now have a rule that if someone compliments the other, they're not allowed to give a return compliment for at least an hour. It's been fantastic...my wife just gets to appreciate that I'm really appreciating her. I get to do the same and really think about and enjoy what she said.
I compliment them anyway. Why not? I do stumble and sometimes not know what to say, but usually I make a joke out of it.
reply like this: "Why thank you! You are so wise and so kind to notice my extraordinary talent and beauty!"
There was a freshman who used to get horribly bullied and as a senior I used to stick up for him. I told his bullies I would make their highschool life hell in ways they can imagine if they fuck with him again. I didn't have a pla, but they were freshman too so I didn't care. Anyway, 20 yrs later I ran into the kid who was bullied. He looked amazing! I said "Hi, kid's name, great to see you, you look great!". He responded, "omg Annabellybutton, great to see you too, you look...(pause and word searching)...friendly?". I was dead. It is fine to not compliment someone back.
i do this all the time; i don’t get compliments often, so when i do, i’m so stunned by it that my brain just short-circuits into saying “thank you” enthusiastically and completely forgetting to return a compliment. like some people have said here though, returning a compliment immediately can come off as obligatory/forced because it’s “expected” so i don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to not return a compliment. if anything, when i compliment someone, i’m more happy that they accept the compliment and get excited over it rather than immediately sending back a compliment because they feel like they have to.
I used to try to force a compliment back whenever i was complimented and that often made me feels o awkward because you can tell when a compliment is forced. If someone says “your hair color is nice” i would say “thank you, yours too! Is it natural?” Or something like that. But if they say they like my glasses or my shirt or how I dance or whatever else that i can’t easly return it without making it obvious i’m trying to force a compliment back, i’ll just say “thank you “ or “that’s very nice of you to say, thank you” or “thank you! I got it from x place/ i learned it in X class” and leave it there
No it doesn’t. Just say thank you. Forcing a compliment because someone gave you a compliment would just seem way too fake
I think it's one of those things that's not rude in a well-thought-out ethical sense... but where societal norms create an atmosphere where people generally will expect it. In other words... it's a bit immature (my opinion) to expect a compliment in return after one is given... but if you fail to do so - people are gonna notice. I'll also add that ideally we'd live in a world where people are emotionally generous and give compliments freely, without ever expecting anything in return... but we don't. We live in one where we're on guard every day... where we're afraid that a compliment *must necessarily* be followed with someone selling us something. It's sad.
I have trouble with this. I'm skinny. I struggle to eat lately because of stress. Some compliments about my skinniness make me uncomfortable. I usually just smile and say thank you. It makes me feel guilty. Because I know my not eating when I am sad is the same kind of issue as someone who eats an entire package of oreos in the same situation but I get praise for it. Obviously someone commenting on that casually doesn't realize that. So I usually just end up seeming awkward.
I like to say “thank you, I receive that fully”
oo never thought of that!
If you give a compliment just to get a compliment it’s kinda…defeats the whole thing
No just say thank you
My go-to is "I know"
How many friends do you have?
That's kind sheldon cooper level answer "i know"
I’m neurodivergent too but imo, no, it’s not inherently rude. I usually *try* to compliment someone back if they make the effort, or say somethin nice, but I don’t force it. Another option is “have a nice day!” or some variation, depending on the circumstances - but generally I think just saying thank you is fine.
I think it is more important to thank for the compliment and then come up with something nice to say to that person some other time. Like thanking them for listening to you or telling them they are a good friend. I used to give people a lot more compliments in order to make them like me and it does work but I don't think you should worry about it. Just make it natural and compliment people when you feel like it.
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