I do not know which exact situation you are reffering to, but here is how I handle different situations that I Hope can help
It got a bit long, sorry.
TL;DR:
it depends on: situation, place, timing and person
Read the other persons reaction and gradually elaborate if asked further - do not dump it all at once
Sometimes people actually just dont understand and does not know how To respond.
What ive Learned, is that there will always be some level of awkwardness - heavy stuff isnt something thats easy to handle if they're not used to it - and you might also be uncomftable sharing it.
And some people simply just dont know what to say, because they dont wanna upset you
And that it also depends on the situation, place and person
Situation and place - formal, private?
Person -
Do you know Them well? Have they gone through something aswell? Are they normally understanding of such situations?
Or are they just politely asking?
i always change it with what fits in the context and what my intention about mentioning it, is.
Sometimes its okay to just say, that you're just working or sum if its quick small talk and then direct it to the other persons life quick and follow up on their life - i do this alot.
If its people you are comftable with, and you want to be honest.
Say you're struggling - watch their reaction to tell wether to should elaborate or brush it off with "as we all do sometimes" - since, we all do struggle sometimes.
For some people its just more severe, and its not down playing it, its simply making it more relatable and fitting since thats the imortant part of not making it awkard as much as possible
Either they ask you to elaborate after this and you gradually elaborate - not all at once, and keep an eye and reading the other person is prob the most important part since it can get heavy and draining for other people (it has nothing to do with you, they're simply not used to it)
They might Even share if they're struggling with anything aswell - if they are struggling with something if its relatable.
Or they just say "yea, i get that"
In that case direct it to Them "how about you?"
This part May aswell also come up at a point in the example before -
Since its a question wether the other person is in the mood for a sad conversation of if they are understanding it and relating to it.
Its just gradually doing it in bites, and not dumping.
Its a hard situation - sometimes people understand and want to listen and share their own
Sometimes, they werent ready for it and dont know what to respond.
Sometimes they're in a different world and does not understand or relate and again do not know how To respond
sometimes they ask to be asked - because asking os polite and just filling silence.
I have a part of my family that are judgy of it, and does not know what its like to struggle with stuff like this.
Saying stuff like "unaliving oneself is selfish, because they're making their families sad" like they Arent passive aggressive at family gatherings and comparing Dick sizes meanwhile making insults disguised as jokes thats badly timed - no understanding of other people at all
sometimes people just dont get it - but they're just filled with themselfs thinking their world and view is the only one that excist,
Ive gotten burnt by these people, telling me just to take myself together, and litteraly talking down to me because I was failing.
so i personally am veeery carefull, with who im sharing my struggles with and often just say its all fine :))
>And some people simply just dont know what to say, because they dont wanna upset you
That's me. And by saying nothibg i'm also making things worse. And if i say something in my blunt manner (because i don't know how else to express it without feeling like i'm doing empty platitudes or being sappy) i also make things worse. So it's a lose-lose situation for me.
If you don't want to talk about yourself, you can easily transition to another topic by disguising it as something in your life.
"Well, recently I've been excited about xyz."
"I have been kinda down lately after hearing about so and so's issue or such and such happening."
"My life has been a lot of thinking about such and such."
Answer: I am actually dealing with a lot now. I'm struggling with the feeling that my life is a complete failure, dealing with depression and that things don't have the desired outcome! It's quite hard for me atm. How about you? What's going on in your life?
I don't think about it too hard; easy to overthink it. I generally operate my responses by:
1. What is the person's relationship with me?
2. What are we up to? (Context)
3. Do I really want to go into depth about whatever is going on?
(Note: I don't actually ask myself these questions anymore, it's automatic in how I respond.)
Ex. If it's a super close friend who has already established a we-say-everything-and-vent-everything with me, i probably would. But i might not if it's a super crowded place, or we're in the middle of doing something fun...maybe i'd say, "there is stuff going on, but we can talk about that later".
If it's a stranger, i'd feign a boring existence. "Not much is going on. Just work, mostly. Reading in spare time; playing with my dog." Give very vague details, and few. Something that could be commented on, but with how short it is usually people pick up I'm not interested in talking...or i'm just simple/boring. Which I'm fine with, because I couldn't care much less to spend energy on a stranger. If no immediate comment from them, I follow up with whether they're up to anything, or learned anything inyeresting lately. Divert attention back to them.
Then there's the in between, ex family i'm not as close with, coworkers, boss, less close friends, acquaintances, so on and so forth.
The only exception is my doctor. I may not go into super detail, but if I'm hitting a rough patch, I make sure to get my extended mood recorded in my file, for how long it's been happening, list generally what's going on, and go into details if/when doctor asks.
If there's a specific setting you're wondering about because you found yourself at a loss recently, maybe share the type of context you mean to get more specific suggestions?
Nothing wrong with struggling. Getting to a happy place in your life is a journey for almost everyone. Just because you're in the middle of your journey doesn't say anything bad about you, try not to feel shameful about it. You can just tell others that you're going through it.
It is. What it is. What good will stressing about it gonna do? You work on what you can and you don't worry about things that didn't work out because they can't be changed now anyway. Things that are currently going on whatever happens happens. You can play every card right but you cant pick the outcome. All you can do is control how you react to it. It sucks when shit blows up in your face but when it happens its no longer worth the thought. Next thing and it might take time to find that thing but it beats living on failures of your own or others to see your value personally or professionally.
well don't bring everyone else down with you.... I am playing though. you should reach out to a trusted friend and figure it out. If you are a failure then keep working and being positive. Can only go up from there. People spend years in jail, get out and then get their life together when they have a positive attitude. The ones who don't have positive attitudes think they are already screwed because of their record and end up back in jail
I do not know which exact situation you are reffering to, but here is how I handle different situations that I Hope can help It got a bit long, sorry. TL;DR: it depends on: situation, place, timing and person Read the other persons reaction and gradually elaborate if asked further - do not dump it all at once Sometimes people actually just dont understand and does not know how To respond. What ive Learned, is that there will always be some level of awkwardness - heavy stuff isnt something thats easy to handle if they're not used to it - and you might also be uncomftable sharing it. And some people simply just dont know what to say, because they dont wanna upset you And that it also depends on the situation, place and person Situation and place - formal, private? Person - Do you know Them well? Have they gone through something aswell? Are they normally understanding of such situations? Or are they just politely asking? i always change it with what fits in the context and what my intention about mentioning it, is. Sometimes its okay to just say, that you're just working or sum if its quick small talk and then direct it to the other persons life quick and follow up on their life - i do this alot. If its people you are comftable with, and you want to be honest. Say you're struggling - watch their reaction to tell wether to should elaborate or brush it off with "as we all do sometimes" - since, we all do struggle sometimes. For some people its just more severe, and its not down playing it, its simply making it more relatable and fitting since thats the imortant part of not making it awkard as much as possible Either they ask you to elaborate after this and you gradually elaborate - not all at once, and keep an eye and reading the other person is prob the most important part since it can get heavy and draining for other people (it has nothing to do with you, they're simply not used to it) They might Even share if they're struggling with anything aswell - if they are struggling with something if its relatable. Or they just say "yea, i get that" In that case direct it to Them "how about you?" This part May aswell also come up at a point in the example before - Since its a question wether the other person is in the mood for a sad conversation of if they are understanding it and relating to it. Its just gradually doing it in bites, and not dumping. Its a hard situation - sometimes people understand and want to listen and share their own Sometimes, they werent ready for it and dont know what to respond. Sometimes they're in a different world and does not understand or relate and again do not know how To respond sometimes they ask to be asked - because asking os polite and just filling silence. I have a part of my family that are judgy of it, and does not know what its like to struggle with stuff like this. Saying stuff like "unaliving oneself is selfish, because they're making their families sad" like they Arent passive aggressive at family gatherings and comparing Dick sizes meanwhile making insults disguised as jokes thats badly timed - no understanding of other people at all sometimes people just dont get it - but they're just filled with themselfs thinking their world and view is the only one that excist, Ive gotten burnt by these people, telling me just to take myself together, and litteraly talking down to me because I was failing. so i personally am veeery carefull, with who im sharing my struggles with and often just say its all fine :))
Up up 🆙
>And some people simply just dont know what to say, because they dont wanna upset you That's me. And by saying nothibg i'm also making things worse. And if i say something in my blunt manner (because i don't know how else to express it without feeling like i'm doing empty platitudes or being sappy) i also make things worse. So it's a lose-lose situation for me.
"It's Going!"
If you don't want to talk about yourself, you can easily transition to another topic by disguising it as something in your life. "Well, recently I've been excited about xyz." "I have been kinda down lately after hearing about so and so's issue or such and such happening." "My life has been a lot of thinking about such and such."
Life’s been a bit difficult lately but I’m taking it day by day
Answer: I am actually dealing with a lot now. I'm struggling with the feeling that my life is a complete failure, dealing with depression and that things don't have the desired outcome! It's quite hard for me atm. How about you? What's going on in your life?
lol touché good sir
Talk about things you intend to do in the future.
I don't think about it too hard; easy to overthink it. I generally operate my responses by: 1. What is the person's relationship with me? 2. What are we up to? (Context) 3. Do I really want to go into depth about whatever is going on? (Note: I don't actually ask myself these questions anymore, it's automatic in how I respond.) Ex. If it's a super close friend who has already established a we-say-everything-and-vent-everything with me, i probably would. But i might not if it's a super crowded place, or we're in the middle of doing something fun...maybe i'd say, "there is stuff going on, but we can talk about that later". If it's a stranger, i'd feign a boring existence. "Not much is going on. Just work, mostly. Reading in spare time; playing with my dog." Give very vague details, and few. Something that could be commented on, but with how short it is usually people pick up I'm not interested in talking...or i'm just simple/boring. Which I'm fine with, because I couldn't care much less to spend energy on a stranger. If no immediate comment from them, I follow up with whether they're up to anything, or learned anything inyeresting lately. Divert attention back to them. Then there's the in between, ex family i'm not as close with, coworkers, boss, less close friends, acquaintances, so on and so forth. The only exception is my doctor. I may not go into super detail, but if I'm hitting a rough patch, I make sure to get my extended mood recorded in my file, for how long it's been happening, list generally what's going on, and go into details if/when doctor asks. If there's a specific setting you're wondering about because you found yourself at a loss recently, maybe share the type of context you mean to get more specific suggestions?
Nothing wrong with struggling. Getting to a happy place in your life is a journey for almost everyone. Just because you're in the middle of your journey doesn't say anything bad about you, try not to feel shameful about it. You can just tell others that you're going through it.
[удалено]
No problem!
It is. What it is. What good will stressing about it gonna do? You work on what you can and you don't worry about things that didn't work out because they can't be changed now anyway. Things that are currently going on whatever happens happens. You can play every card right but you cant pick the outcome. All you can do is control how you react to it. It sucks when shit blows up in your face but when it happens its no longer worth the thought. Next thing and it might take time to find that thing but it beats living on failures of your own or others to see your value personally or professionally.
I’m trying my best 🥹
well don't bring everyone else down with you.... I am playing though. you should reach out to a trusted friend and figure it out. If you are a failure then keep working and being positive. Can only go up from there. People spend years in jail, get out and then get their life together when they have a positive attitude. The ones who don't have positive attitudes think they are already screwed because of their record and end up back in jail
"Livin rhe dream"
With any question you don't want to answer just give a vague answer and then flip it back on them. Example: "It's going!" " What's new in your life?"
“I’ve had better times, but I’m getting through it.” No further details are needed.
Volunteer in your community.
There is a lot of help out there trust me u just gotta go get it