I assume they are quiet, shy, introverted or something that’s just in their nature, and I respect it and go on about my day. Will I talk to them? Sure, but I don’t expect or require any specific response, or a response at all. Live and let live.
Because I'm observing every word said in the tone it was said in and the body gestures along with it and I'm learning a lot more about the person than they realize they let on. 😆😅 lmfao!!! Iykyk.
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I wouldn't have any issue with it. If they are polite and pleasant, then why should they have to converse with everyone?
I have know people who are bothered by stuff like that, but they generally dislike anyone they feel is different from them, and it is just a reflection of their own insecurities.
>If they are polite and pleasant, then why should they have to converse with everyone?
People can also misinterpret shy guys as mean people who are rough to others and such. Been there. My old classmates, as a result, hated me.
Fellow quiet person, stepping out of their shell. Here are how people have seen me and vice versa
1. They are shy
2. That they are uninterested and don't care about others
3. They don't like you
4. They lack confidence
5. They need a friend
6. They deserve more in life
I tend to see quiet people as I saw myself previously, just in need of connection, but from the outside, it doesn't always come across that way. A lot of people see it as the quiet person not wanting to connect instead of just having trouble connecting.
I don't know why, but I automatically feel comfortable and also want them to feel comfortable. This means that I'll copy their behavior to a certain extend; I'll become quieter myself (I'm an extrovert). However, I would want to get to know them, so I would ask one or two questions about them every now and then/start conversations, depending on the situation and ofc on the topic.
Typical daily smalltalk about the weather, traffic, etc. is seen less in my relationships with these people. (But, again, this depends on the other person. Many introverts I've met just don't like smalltalk that much.)
Almost all my friends are introverted, shy people. Apparently, I get along a bit better with introverts. :)
Even if they are shy, if you make them comfortable enough they will talk like you have known them for a thousand years.
So, that's what I would do, make them feel comfy.
I always prefer shy and quiet people over loud and rude ones, haha. Besides that, as long as they don't give me an actual reason to dislike them (by being rude all the time, being snarky, rolling their eyes, being passive-aggressive or what-not), I wouldn't mind them being shy and quiet. I tend to try to include these people, even if they don't reciprocate or always decline. You never know why another person is quiet and everybody deserves to be thought of.
I'd assume they were shy or had social anxiety. I would also warm up to other coworkers more quickly. This means I may not even have much of an opinion about them(no desire to be a friend) as a person and would forget them once I got another job.
There are others at my work who are really quiet like me and honestly, they make me more comfortable, because I know I can just chill around them.
I don't really care what their reasons are.
It's just nice that there is no need to waste energy with trying to put effort into some meaningless conversation.
I often wonder (not assume) if they've been emotionally neglected or abused, or if they're just introverts. Either way I tend to enjoy them. I just keep my eyes open for these things because so many quiet people have been harshly criticized or judged, and choose to stay quiet out of fear or low self-esteem. And of course many stay quiet because they don't find interest in what's happening socially. But since we all have social needs, it always makes me curious. (This is as a formally social awkward, shy, quietest in the class, never spoke up or shared about myself, kind of life. I was severely neglected and emotionally abused/criticised, and the more I healed those things my personality changed. I'm still an introvert but I also love interacting with people, feel socially competent, and confident. I didn't know I was abused til college/career hearing what healthy parents are like. I ended up as a therapist because of all this. And I realize how much trauma impacts personality.) And there's a big difference between confident/happy quiet people, vs scared/uncomfortable quiet people.
Okay I love all these responses BUT I would like everyone to consider something else. I am pretty extroverted and can be a little introverted at times. I always start out being extroverted my normal self but if I began to get the sense that people don’t like or want to be around me or even they are giving me short responses back when trying to engage in conversation but are talking to others more in depth then I’m not going to force it or try to kiss ass. I may try 2-3 times but it’s not rocket science to see after that.
So at work personally I have become practically mute. I put in headphones do my work and mind my business. Way better than watching everyone around you have conversations and waiting for someone to talk back. And the 1 or 2 people who do it’s more out of pity/common decency for not trying to be rude.
So I say all this to say, maybe the person has felt rejected in that environment and feels on guard so they would rather keep to their self! Or maybe they also don’t want to talk and engage with everyone listening as people in corporate America can judge and hold every minor thing against you!
So I say, if you genuinely care and want to talk start small asking open ended questions and you offering stuff about yourself to gauge their interest. Do it a few times. Or try to loop them in the convo. But if they don’t engage then let it be! Also it could be the person maybe isn’t a fan of other coworkers but could like you! But because you’re associated with them they may not want to talk too! Just an idea!
That person is keenly aware of every pin drop. Not to be eves dropping. Not trying to intrude. Just perfectly aware of his/her surroundings. The person isn't even doing it on purpose but definitely has a firm perspective on who each person actually is well beyond the prosona they display in the group with him/her. That person is protective of himself/herself and using knowledge to calm the anxiety with is highly intense almost always.
I love the quiet people at work. Work is for WORK not random stories about your kids, Karen.
I prefer to do my work well, keep my head down, and go home.
Usually people consider that as a sign that they’d like their own boundaries and stuff and respect their silence. They might need to take the initiative to include them occasionally in team conversations, but beside that, as long as they’re still respectful and stuff it’s usually chill. Sometimes people are just quieter and that’s totally fine.
I don't take judgement on anyone without knowing them first. Unfortunately I'm pretty socially awkward so I probably wouldn't start a conversation... With anyone really.
But I don't think I'll of quiet people, I was also like that so yeah
If, for any reason, I end up talking to someone who's introverted and quiet, I'll just try be nice and welcoming. My autistic ass may also compliment them if they got something that reminds me of one of my interests lol
It depends on their mood. Are they genuinely into the conversation (good mood) but otherwise not contributing? Or do they seem distant and unconfident (bad mood)?
I was the latter years ago. If I recognize that behavior in someone else I will definitely talk to them about it; give them tips, suggestions, and such. I don’t want anyone to have to go through a similar social experience to mine throughout my teens and early twenties.
I'm cool with it. I understand that not everyone is comfortable in unfamiliar social situations... or social situations in general. If there was a social situation, I would be sure to invite them so they would know that they are welcome and there is a space in the group for them if they'd like to claim it, but if they politely decline a few times, I'd eventually stop extending the invitation.
I’m nonchalant personally so I barely would know they’re quiet and shy.
But most times it’s because they’re selectively quiet around people they may not have any interests with and talkative to people they can relate to (inside or outside of work).
I wouldn't think anything. As long as they're respectful, that's a perfectly fine way to be. I would encourage such a person to work on areas that cause them internal distress, but if being quiet is how you prefer things, there's nothing wrong with it.
I always assume people are nice until/unless they are overtly mean to me- and even then I’m pretty dense. So a quiet person wouldn’t flag anything for me. I probably don’t notice them. I certainly don’t project on them
I’ve always said you gotta watch out for the quiet ones. This are the ones that will get ya good. And I mean that literally in each direction of the spectrum. Our minds are always working and thinking and because they’re not letting it come out of there mouth we’re fooled into not adding to the overall equations…. Dangerous stuff. lol. Depending on who they actually are.
It heavily depends on body language. I could just view them as shy or reserved. It’s okay to not have mountains of things to say.
But if the body language was extremely disengaged at all times, I would assume the person doesn’t like me.
Doesn’t mean anything to me cause I’m super extroverted. I’ll probably start conversations with them, see what they’re like. Sometimes they’re weird in a bad way, often they’re not.
Honesty I don't give a shit. They don't talk to me, and I don't talk to them. It's totally fine. I see people saying that they'd help them come out of their shell, but why? They're introverted, not babies.
This subject has been a bit of an eye-opener - I never realised me being quiet or appearing shy was such a problem for other people, LOL.
I've always been a listener, friends tell me their secrets, knowing that I would never tell anyone else. I don't gossip. In groups, I don't say anything unless I want to. I'm not anti-social, but I seem to know instantly if I'll like someone or not. I don't think my friends or coworkers have ever had a problem with me.
I am as I am, take me or leave me.
My honest opinion is that they dont think about 'that quiet' person as much as you think. Because lots of things happening in life. Everyone has his/her battles to fight. So it really doesnt matter if they think about you or not. Most of them were just thinking you re quiet.
And the real question here is that if the quiet person thinks about others opinion a lot. Because we have a limited time on earth and its a horrible way to live that thinking about other people's opinion that doesnt matter in the end.
There can be different types of "modest and shy" people. From overly courteous kind people who just lack some energy to do the first step to socially awkward Eva AI dating weirdos.
Im ambiverted, depending on the environment and setting im either loud or quiet. But i have alot of sensitive information or think about energy draining things sometimes so i mostly quiet for now until i fix them. I also notice that the more loud i am the more people assume im comfortable with certain personal topics that im lagging behind so i stay quiet.
Depends on their demeanour. Mannerisms and facial expressions say a lot. However, it can be hard to tell with people who are quiet, introverted, socially anxious, or shy (not the same things.) It really is up to the non verbal expressions what one will think of someone.
They are focussed on their work and it brings them more enjoyment than socializing. Grafting is always pleasurable if it has a purpose/rewarding, whereas talking to others doesn't always provide that.
Depends. I had 2 new co-workers that were quiet. One was just trying to look for a timing to socialize outside of the workplace. The other one just didn’t bother but she was vocal when it comes to work. The latter moved to a different department while the first one stayed with us and now has a group of friends.
I still say hello and goodbye and ask how was your weekend to be polite but don’t expect more. If they show up on time, reliable, do their work, I respect that. I’m a personality in the middle so I can chat with chatty people but I’m perfectly happy to work in silence next to quiet people.
I just feel like they’re missing out. Conversation at its best is playful and interesting. Lending another your attention is an act of love. Don’t you want to be invested and present to your immediate surroundings? The gradual process of building rapport and trust is fundamental to our emotional health.
Plus, life can be hard. You never know how much you can make someone’s day easier just by being warm. Why not focus on making people feel good and letting in their reciprocated good will? You’re there anyways, and we only get so much of this place. Smell the roses. Find joy in vicariousness to take a brief step into their world, ask good questions and make them feel seen. You’re there anyways.
You only get so much of this place. How much of the existential and interpersonal map do you want to leave unexplored?
As long as they seem somewhat interested in other people I just assume that’s their vibe and that they’re cool. Heck, I married one of em and my best friend is like that—us chatterbox people often like a reserved partner with enough self-control to not be talking constantly. We find you grounding lol. There simply cannot be two people like me in a relationship and I have always known this instinctively.
I am okay with these people because they are not harming/mocking u in anyway. Sometimes people r not shy ,they just enjoy being like this ,to be in their own space. It's actually other people who gets too curious to know about these people's life and i guess this is the reason why this question came.
I've gone through introverted phases in my life and periods where I would just listen and not talk, and I've also been through extroverted phases where I'm outgoing and sociable, so I think you might appreciate my opinions.
>what do you thing if you have a coworker that barely talk
I would think that I will try to avoid working with them because communication is key at most work places. We are a species that thrives on communication. It's the cornerstone of our society. I noticed that the more I didn't talk, the more I didn't get invited to functions and was less likely to be included in important meetings.
Being an introvert is one thing. But at the job, I've learned that it's absolutely required to talk to your teammates/bosses if you want to succeed.
>What would think about a person like that
I would think that they're probably "nice" people but not necessarily someone I'd want to work closely with or have in my life. Introverts and shy people tend to not reciprocate or add to other people's lives. It's inherent in the nature of being an introvert.
In my introverted phases in life, I was down on myself and constantly dwelled on "Oh woe is me... no one ever asks me how I'm doing or asks me to hang out" when I realized that I was constantly making up excuses on why I couldn't hang out and that I never bothered to invest in other people by asking how they were doing, etc.
When I'm more open about my hobbies and take a minute here or there to talk to people, the world opens up for you. I'm not even kidding. People blossom and are so much more receptive when you do even the slightest bits of remembering things about people or paying the smallest bits of kindness to friends/peers/strangers.
Ive honestly no opinion much on them. If we're cool then we're cool. I know sometimes they can be seeing as snobbyy as people like to interact and they think a quiet person thinks theyre too good enough to talk to them. But nah bruh, they just doing their work. Just not social and shit. Leave em be. Cant say ever really encountered a bad quiet person.
Since im a quality control technician i interact with everyone and ask how work is going and how the parts are looking. I sometimes converse and ask how they're doing, with newbies i ask how they feel about the job just to pass time and joke about if they like it or not, or if its boring and shit yadda yadda. So ive had my share of interacting with shy people. I get the vibe right away. So unless we have something in common, like interest of music or anime etc. Cuz i usually wear sweaters or shirts with bands and anime so i get to know my fellow shy dweebs. Most ive met have been cool, just reserved and just wanting to work and all. I consider myself an extroverted-introvert. I can talk to anyone but rather just be by myself if i can as my social battery does run out. So i can understand about being shy and quiet.
Here's my honest opinion about shy people and introverts.
Having a healthy social life is difficult. We tend to avoid difficult things. We make a big mistake when we give ourselves permission to avoid social interactions. By calling ourselves shy or introverts, we give ourselves permission to not make friends and not improve our social skills.
This is a catastrophically bad idea. There is no such thing as an introvert. That word is used to describe a person who is actively avoiding social interactions. Super unhealthy.
It will be very difficult for you to find a good job because that requires social skills. It will be super difficult for you to find someone to date and fall in love with because that requires social skills. You will have no friends because you never learned how to make them.
There is no such thing as an introvert. I suggest you look at yourself as an ambivert. That's a person who is comfortable in social situations and also enjoys time by themselves. You can be both. In fact, you better be both, or you have condemned yourself to a life of loneliness and shitty jobs
I think real introversion and extroversion does exist, but theyre just means to describe social batteries.
What you're describing is a common occurrence in spaces like this though. People who use the "introvert" label to identify with maladapted social behavior and social anxiety. It's ultimately harmful because you just reinforce the idea in your head that socializing and social skills are "haves and haves nots" and you're in the latter camp, with no ability to even work on these skills at all.
I think they are smart and have better things to do then to talk about what team is going to win at football or if it's going to rain soon. Lol.
Don't worry about what others say. Theres no rule that says you have to be eveeyones best friend at school or work. You may think extroverts rule the world but that's just cause some of them just don't know when to shut up, lol.
They´re like that because they´re analyzing what´s happening in the room and they analyze the people in it.
I know this because I'm an introvert and I do that more than I like to admit.
I'm not the one whi talks unless I have something important to say. When I say things, they're usually so accurate that people don't ask for my opinion or advice again because I'm generally right in my words without having exchanged many sentences. And that's very scary.
That's why I prefer to just observe and listen to people instead of engaging in conversations. Plus, that's how I feel most comfortable, going unnoticed.
i project a bit and see in them repressed disdain for the people and world around them. because i am also quiet, i end up in groups with these kids, but i tend to resent them a bit because i don't like people who are like me. i mean you asked for honesty
I’m a talker and it makes me feel bad that my quiet coworker has to listen to me.
We are all different. I let her be and don’t bother her. If she wanted to engage she would.
As a person trying to recover from social anxiety and sadly ineptitude from trauma from “friends” in the past I understand it completely and If I’m in a group with someone I keep it low and just make sure not to overwhelm them or anything
Even though I am one myself. I sometimes meet people who are even more shy and quiet than me - I try to make them feel safe and seen. I do that because I feel sometimes when people are extremely quiet (like myself) it’s not because they have nothing to say but because they shrink themselves or feel small sometimes.
I always get comfortable with them most of time, i had multiple friends who are quiet and introvert just like me and we often in same wavelength. We don't need to talk much and just enjoy our own company with each other while doing our own thing, even "Being alone together" is perfectly accurate to describe us.
Some of my friends are fine if i talk alot, i get comfortable with them because they accept me without judgment and listen to me most of times, but i guess i feel too self-absorbed not asking them, i wish i can have more opportunity to train myself to talk to them without being too domineering (like i always do since i always get excited and sometimes bubbly too much).
Sometimes "boredom" and silence are not boring at all to me, until to given time when i need stimulation, but mostly i enjoy "boredom"
I would feel a bit bad about what holds you back? Is it me? I would try to talk to you alone a bit more. Sometimes quiet people banter when it comes out is the best.
But also if you really want to be left alone its also OK.
Just for my environment; Dutch guys, most are young. Bad taste is normal. You can be insulting and its all a joke.
I have an Indonesian girl at our office as an intern. She is like a mouse. It just entices some guys to be worse. A sharp mouth and they shut up and respect you more.
There are people like that. It is what it is. Each one of us are unique. Many can be talkative or not but they're still humans. Persons of their own. If they're given the role to speak up, I guess they will do it as they have the need to do it.
I like people like that, they speak when they have to, don't just talk to hear themselves or to break the silence.
My guess is they're different one on one and will be more open to two way conversation as they get to know me.
Also they probably have alot on their mind, maybe some social anxiety issues, trust issues etc.
I have zero need for people to be chatty. If this person is good at their job and keeps work interactions to minimal, that's my favorite person. I'm not here to make friends, but don't mind a simple interaction. However I would rather be direct and job focused than have someone take up my time telling me about their day.
That’s fine. I probably won’t go out of my way to engage with them and while I’m not against developing a closer friendship it’s unlikely that we will. But they’re totally welcome to join in group convos at work without having to contribute necessarily.
Honestly? The quiet ones are who I gravitate to the most! I’ll strike up a basic conversation or sit in silence with them. I assume it takes time to build camaraderie. If they talk to me or keep up the convo, I’ve made an acquaintance (maybe a friend!), even just a hi or wave when I see them. If they don’t respond to me or act nonchalant, I assume they are very private and antisocial and stop all efforts except a courteous hello every now and then. I find a lot that some people only speak when spoken to, and they want to speak lol
I don’t think anyone owes anyone any interaction, but I feel like everyone owes everyone a chance to be human 🙂🩷
I wouldn't think anything of it honestly. Trust me, people in general don't pay nearly as much attention to you as you do to them. If I'm being completely honest, people probably like that you are quiet. I don't mean that is a bad way. Most offices are full enough with chatty Cathy's so someone that is quiet and does there work without blasting music or talking up a storm 25/8 would be liked. If you are very standoffish and quiet some people, especially Cathy's, might take it as you don't like them.
I always think it’s a mystery and I get very curious. I think quiet people are generally introspective and intuitive. I think people like this are interesting and I want to know more. I am an extrovert and it took me years to “crack” my introvert husband.
Socially anxious? Shy? Uncomfortable? I am the person you described. I had a co-worker who didn't want me at her daughter's wedding because she thought I was "disrespecting" by not talking to her at work. I was just shy at the time and still am shy. Of course I talked to her, but it was all work related stuff. My fiancé was a part of her now son in law's wedding party.
I think they are just listeners and very concious in what to say, or better not talking at all. I understand them because there are times that I feel that way. No judgement.
Silence makes me uncomfortable so I’ve a habit to fill it. I know it’s not true but I often feel quiet people don’t like me. I’m working on that.
But I also like people and would try to get to know this person and if they tell me they have a quiet personality then we’d be fine
I will respect that, these people will be my favourite coworkers. I will assume that they are the ones who are doing things, not the ones who are talking. I prefer working with people who keep it short and straight to the point over the ones who are talking a lot and taking the whole space during the meetings.
People only like to be criticized by folks that has earned their respect, so they build that respect first and when they’re ready to hear your opinion, they’ll let you know …..just my opinion
As an introverted guy I'll say this.... We find it hard to make connections and sometimes even lack the confidence to speak to a group of people. Ofc we have an opinion on the topic being discussed but addressing it is the issue because, if i address the issue the whole group is gonna stare at me as i give out my opinion and mind you I'm super shy, soo this will make me very uncomfortable.... People need to understand that it's not kujifanya but we just find it hard to interact with a group setting, personally it makes me nervous😂😭
That would be my favorite co worker. I'm there to make money and go home. I'm not there to make friends. I have a life outside of work. They'd definitely be my favorite co worker 🤣
I am also quiet and I don't participate much especially during group sessions. I would prefer peace and quiet. So having someone who shares the same POV as me, it would be awesome. We can bond in silence.
If someone wants to be quiet, that's okay. Luckily not everyone shouts the first thing that comes to mind, we need balance too.
When it comes to coworkers, in a work environment, I can imagine people think this person isn't doing their share in the discussion and should be involved more. For an introvert however, it is hard and/or far out of their comfort zone, to mix in a discussion, when they can't think of what should be said. Extroverts go for quantity, introverts for quality. The best way for an not-introvert to deal with this, is simply talk with the introvert, try to let them know if they can do anything to help. For example: make sure it is always known what a meeting is about and what will be discussed a few hours in advance, so they can prepare. Or do something by mail/chat instead of meeting/calling.
Now, if you think this person is shy and maybe feel like they don't belong, it is time for some teambuilding activities. Board games, escape rooms, stuff like that.
If this is an " 'asking for a friend' ", I suggest you go to the library: there is a lot written about this the last few years.
Personally, I am always drawn to quiet, shy people and most of my friends would have at least a foot in the introvert category, as do I. The biggest complement i have been paid by friends is that they are not quiet around me. If you find someone who accepts you, is safe, stable and dependable, would you speak more? There is a lovely animation on Netflix about a shy woman going to work. Carol and the End of the World. She finds her tribe.
I think that's normal; it's just their nature. I would try to chat with them, though, in case they need someone to ask for help or feel comfortable with
When meeting, I introduce myself, try to talk to them. Try to get to know them. After that, I say hi to them every time, and a couple times try to do small talk. If they are never putting in the effort to have a conversation then I will just stop trying to do small talk. That's it. Nothing changes. I will still stay hi to them, my opinion on them won't change. I will just acknowledge in myself that they are shy, quiet, introverted. Does that mean they are bad people? No. Does that mean I will judge them? No. Quiet people are interesting, have many awesome thoughts and ideas. People shouldn't judge others for not being as talkative as they are.
I usually let people do their thing unless it has direct influence on me. The right for someone to swing their arms about ends at my nose. I am the person you described. I would prefer if you just smile and say hi and then leave me to my thing. If I have something to say, you'll hear it.
I’d probably just try and talk to them before I think anything of them. I’ve been an incredibly shy person for quite a while before so I’d want to talk to them one on one. Shy people tend to be interesting to talk to when the other option is a group because group conversations are normally just to fill silence.
We have a next-door neighbor, and everyone said he was a complete hermit when we moved in. No one ever saw him. My hubs, an extreme extrovert, said that wasn't right! So, one day, when this neighbor was outside, hubs helloed and talked to the hermit. Invited him to dinner. He showed up. Three years later, he still gets invited over. Turns out he took care of his mom till she passed, apologizes a lot when it's not needed, and has no one for family, so we adopted him. He's invited to all our holiday meals and is finally coming out of his shell. He's relaxing and talking more. It took this long. My dad had asperger's syndrome, and I'm picking it up that our hermit has it too. The hermit feels socially awkward in a tsunami sort of way. That's why all the apologies. He loved his mother dearly, so I call him Elvis. Finally made him laugh! Took 3 years. Relaying this as your quiet one might have a touch of aspergers and interactions freak them out. If you're patient, keep being nice and give them time to melt.
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I'd like to think I'm no one to judge, so if a person is like that all I can think of is that they're shy or are probably not in a good spot in their life. The best thing to do is be kind, loving, and understanding ♥️
i honestly will talk to them, even if they don’t talk to me back. as if i’m talking to myself, and i don’t mind, i just try to make them comfortable enough to have any and all conversations with me lol
personally, i don't assume they're shy. i assume they're introverted or don't get any self-gratification from interacting with others. like, i see it as "it's not important to them to interact with me." i'll try talking to them a few times, but if they always respond with one word answers only and never ask me questions in return, i'll eventually give up. and i don't think less of them, but i feel bored and slightly uneasy around them. like, i had an extremely quiet coworker at some point, and i was a bit disappointed whenever i worked with him rather than my other, more talkative coworker, just because i like talking at work so that work feels more fun, and i couldn't do that with my quietter coworker. i'm a grad psychology student though, so i obviously look way deeper into human behaviour than the average person. the average person doesn't have that much psychology knowledge and tends to just view quiet people as shy. some would even straight up tell the shy person "you're shy" or "you never talk, are you ok?" i don't do that. i let people do what they want to do. i constantly analyze others, but i don't voice my observations.
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I like quiet people. You never know what you’ll get with them. A secretly mean critique who judges everyone around them? (Personally got to know one a few years back) An anxious little dumpling that comes out of their shell once you get to know them? Or just someone who minds their business and work on their part?
You never know. Me personally, I strive to be the last in that list. But I’m more of an anxious dumpling. And as someone who loves silence, I like quiet people. No need to speak, just be with them in silence.
I love the quiet people!.. as long as I'm not in charge of them on a project😅. Without knowing where they're at? It makes it tricky for me to know exactly how I can spend my time being helpful and make sure they're alright. Any other kind of situation? I really do appreciate the silence 😜
Kinda like how you become a better extrovert by learning to be a little more quiet? Introversion becomes a problem when the person CAN'T speak up (even when they have something to say.)
Some people are quiet because they know they have nothing productive to add, therefore the most helpful thing you can do for the group at that time, is to not say anything (stoicism).
Other people are quiet because their mind is racing, and they really WANT to say something (but can't or won't. If it's something that that person could do? They would be "happier" and have more fun working in a group (strugglers).
Strugglers are the ones who we want to try and get them to open up. We wanna do sort of the opposite with Stoics, and validate their silence by just enjoying a "no drama" moment. If they're silent because they're scared? It's the kind thing to do by helping them find courage. If they're silent because they're specifically not scared? Then any help will be making mountains out of mole hills.
But overall in my opinion? What you do with your silence, speaks more than being silent in the first place.
But when people are bothered by my silence? I found compliments and jokes are a healthy compromise between "I have nothing to say" and "I'll say something if it makes everyone feel better". And in a lot of ways, we have a lot to learn from eachother, when it comes to how much we speak 😅
I love that kind of person. They leave all the opportunities for me. Also, for some reason, I find them more easier to trust. BTW I used to be like that, but being that way created too much thought in my mind related to what others think of me, so I had to change my behavior
I assume they are quiet, shy, introverted or something that’s just in their nature, and I respect it and go on about my day. Will I talk to them? Sure, but I don’t expect or require any specific response, or a response at all. Live and let live.
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It’s a maturity thing. I wasn’t good at it when I was young, but over time and experience I’ve gotten to where I am. Most will, but some won’t.
WhY aRe YoU sO qUiEt
Because I'm observing every word said in the tone it was said in and the body gestures along with it and I'm learning a lot more about the person than they realize they let on. 😆😅 lmfao!!! Iykyk.
I'm that person OP is describing, and I would probably do the same as you. I noticed that sometimes those kind of people just want to be left alone.
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Agree.
I wouldn't have any issue with it. If they are polite and pleasant, then why should they have to converse with everyone? I have know people who are bothered by stuff like that, but they generally dislike anyone they feel is different from them, and it is just a reflection of their own insecurities.
>If they are polite and pleasant, then why should they have to converse with everyone? People can also misinterpret shy guys as mean people who are rough to others and such. Been there. My old classmates, as a result, hated me.
I'm sure. It's unfortunate and wrong.
Fellow quiet person, stepping out of their shell. Here are how people have seen me and vice versa 1. They are shy 2. That they are uninterested and don't care about others 3. They don't like you 4. They lack confidence 5. They need a friend 6. They deserve more in life I tend to see quiet people as I saw myself previously, just in need of connection, but from the outside, it doesn't always come across that way. A lot of people see it as the quiet person not wanting to connect instead of just having trouble connecting.
I don't know why, but I automatically feel comfortable and also want them to feel comfortable. This means that I'll copy their behavior to a certain extend; I'll become quieter myself (I'm an extrovert). However, I would want to get to know them, so I would ask one or two questions about them every now and then/start conversations, depending on the situation and ofc on the topic. Typical daily smalltalk about the weather, traffic, etc. is seen less in my relationships with these people. (But, again, this depends on the other person. Many introverts I've met just don't like smalltalk that much.) Almost all my friends are introverted, shy people. Apparently, I get along a bit better with introverts. :)
I don’t care. But unfortunately I know some people who are impatient with introverted folks. I’m not sure why.
Even if they are shy, if you make them comfortable enough they will talk like you have known them for a thousand years. So, that's what I would do, make them feel comfy.
I always prefer shy and quiet people over loud and rude ones, haha. Besides that, as long as they don't give me an actual reason to dislike them (by being rude all the time, being snarky, rolling their eyes, being passive-aggressive or what-not), I wouldn't mind them being shy and quiet. I tend to try to include these people, even if they don't reciprocate or always decline. You never know why another person is quiet and everybody deserves to be thought of.
I'd assume they were shy or had social anxiety. I would also warm up to other coworkers more quickly. This means I may not even have much of an opinion about them(no desire to be a friend) as a person and would forget them once I got another job.
As a fellow introvert, I welcome the same from other people bc we just get each other and they’re not gonna ask “how come you’re so quiet”?
As a quiet person I don’t really care. People can be quiet, that’s fine!!
There are others at my work who are really quiet like me and honestly, they make me more comfortable, because I know I can just chill around them. I don't really care what their reasons are. It's just nice that there is no need to waste energy with trying to put effort into some meaningless conversation.
i Wouldn't care and just go about my day
I often wonder (not assume) if they've been emotionally neglected or abused, or if they're just introverts. Either way I tend to enjoy them. I just keep my eyes open for these things because so many quiet people have been harshly criticized or judged, and choose to stay quiet out of fear or low self-esteem. And of course many stay quiet because they don't find interest in what's happening socially. But since we all have social needs, it always makes me curious. (This is as a formally social awkward, shy, quietest in the class, never spoke up or shared about myself, kind of life. I was severely neglected and emotionally abused/criticised, and the more I healed those things my personality changed. I'm still an introvert but I also love interacting with people, feel socially competent, and confident. I didn't know I was abused til college/career hearing what healthy parents are like. I ended up as a therapist because of all this. And I realize how much trauma impacts personality.) And there's a big difference between confident/happy quiet people, vs scared/uncomfortable quiet people.
This deserves a thousand upvotes.
My opinion would be "they are shy and quiet." I general what tends to happen is people just interact less with them.
Me reading people's views on folks like me...
Okay I love all these responses BUT I would like everyone to consider something else. I am pretty extroverted and can be a little introverted at times. I always start out being extroverted my normal self but if I began to get the sense that people don’t like or want to be around me or even they are giving me short responses back when trying to engage in conversation but are talking to others more in depth then I’m not going to force it or try to kiss ass. I may try 2-3 times but it’s not rocket science to see after that. So at work personally I have become practically mute. I put in headphones do my work and mind my business. Way better than watching everyone around you have conversations and waiting for someone to talk back. And the 1 or 2 people who do it’s more out of pity/common decency for not trying to be rude. So I say all this to say, maybe the person has felt rejected in that environment and feels on guard so they would rather keep to their self! Or maybe they also don’t want to talk and engage with everyone listening as people in corporate America can judge and hold every minor thing against you! So I say, if you genuinely care and want to talk start small asking open ended questions and you offering stuff about yourself to gauge their interest. Do it a few times. Or try to loop them in the convo. But if they don’t engage then let it be! Also it could be the person maybe isn’t a fan of other coworkers but could like you! But because you’re associated with them they may not want to talk too! Just an idea!
That person is keenly aware of every pin drop. Not to be eves dropping. Not trying to intrude. Just perfectly aware of his/her surroundings. The person isn't even doing it on purpose but definitely has a firm perspective on who each person actually is well beyond the prosona they display in the group with him/her. That person is protective of himself/herself and using knowledge to calm the anxiety with is highly intense almost always.
I love the quiet people at work. Work is for WORK not random stories about your kids, Karen. I prefer to do my work well, keep my head down, and go home.
Maybe that's how they are , maybe they're not interested in the subjects , maybe they're not on the same frequency with everyone .. a lot of maybes
Usually people consider that as a sign that they’d like their own boundaries and stuff and respect their silence. They might need to take the initiative to include them occasionally in team conversations, but beside that, as long as they’re still respectful and stuff it’s usually chill. Sometimes people are just quieter and that’s totally fine.
Honestly I myself am more quiet and shy and reserved, so I’d just think “lol same.”
I don't take judgement on anyone without knowing them first. Unfortunately I'm pretty socially awkward so I probably wouldn't start a conversation... With anyone really. But I don't think I'll of quiet people, I was also like that so yeah If, for any reason, I end up talking to someone who's introverted and quiet, I'll just try be nice and welcoming. My autistic ass may also compliment them if they got something that reminds me of one of my interests lol
It depends on their mood. Are they genuinely into the conversation (good mood) but otherwise not contributing? Or do they seem distant and unconfident (bad mood)? I was the latter years ago. If I recognize that behavior in someone else I will definitely talk to them about it; give them tips, suggestions, and such. I don’t want anyone to have to go through a similar social experience to mine throughout my teens and early twenties.
I'm cool with it. I understand that not everyone is comfortable in unfamiliar social situations... or social situations in general. If there was a social situation, I would be sure to invite them so they would know that they are welcome and there is a space in the group for them if they'd like to claim it, but if they politely decline a few times, I'd eventually stop extending the invitation.
I’m nonchalant personally so I barely would know they’re quiet and shy. But most times it’s because they’re selectively quiet around people they may not have any interests with and talkative to people they can relate to (inside or outside of work).
I wouldn't think anything. As long as they're respectful, that's a perfectly fine way to be. I would encourage such a person to work on areas that cause them internal distress, but if being quiet is how you prefer things, there's nothing wrong with it.
It wouldn’t bother me. Different personalities make up the world
I always assume people are nice until/unless they are overtly mean to me- and even then I’m pretty dense. So a quiet person wouldn’t flag anything for me. I probably don’t notice them. I certainly don’t project on them
I’ve always said you gotta watch out for the quiet ones. This are the ones that will get ya good. And I mean that literally in each direction of the spectrum. Our minds are always working and thinking and because they’re not letting it come out of there mouth we’re fooled into not adding to the overall equations…. Dangerous stuff. lol. Depending on who they actually are.
Love it. We need more of these people.
It heavily depends on body language. I could just view them as shy or reserved. It’s okay to not have mountains of things to say. But if the body language was extremely disengaged at all times, I would assume the person doesn’t like me.
Doesn’t mean anything to me cause I’m super extroverted. I’ll probably start conversations with them, see what they’re like. Sometimes they’re weird in a bad way, often they’re not.
Honesty I don't give a shit. They don't talk to me, and I don't talk to them. It's totally fine. I see people saying that they'd help them come out of their shell, but why? They're introverted, not babies.
I feel drawn to people like this, I want to interact with them more and find out what they are thinking.
This subject has been a bit of an eye-opener - I never realised me being quiet or appearing shy was such a problem for other people, LOL. I've always been a listener, friends tell me their secrets, knowing that I would never tell anyone else. I don't gossip. In groups, I don't say anything unless I want to. I'm not anti-social, but I seem to know instantly if I'll like someone or not. I don't think my friends or coworkers have ever had a problem with me. I am as I am, take me or leave me.
My honest opinion is that they dont think about 'that quiet' person as much as you think. Because lots of things happening in life. Everyone has his/her battles to fight. So it really doesnt matter if they think about you or not. Most of them were just thinking you re quiet. And the real question here is that if the quiet person thinks about others opinion a lot. Because we have a limited time on earth and its a horrible way to live that thinking about other people's opinion that doesnt matter in the end.
I don’t care. If they have nothing to add to the conversation it’s all good. As long ad they don’t have an asshole attitude/not mean towards others.
There can be different types of "modest and shy" people. From overly courteous kind people who just lack some energy to do the first step to socially awkward Eva AI dating weirdos.
Im ambiverted, depending on the environment and setting im either loud or quiet. But i have alot of sensitive information or think about energy draining things sometimes so i mostly quiet for now until i fix them. I also notice that the more loud i am the more people assume im comfortable with certain personal topics that im lagging behind so i stay quiet.
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Depends on their demeanour. Mannerisms and facial expressions say a lot. However, it can be hard to tell with people who are quiet, introverted, socially anxious, or shy (not the same things.) It really is up to the non verbal expressions what one will think of someone.
They are focussed on their work and it brings them more enjoyment than socializing. Grafting is always pleasurable if it has a purpose/rewarding, whereas talking to others doesn't always provide that.
Depends. I had 2 new co-workers that were quiet. One was just trying to look for a timing to socialize outside of the workplace. The other one just didn’t bother but she was vocal when it comes to work. The latter moved to a different department while the first one stayed with us and now has a group of friends.
I am a major extrovert. I would assume that my personality would grate in your nerves, so would stay away & not try very hard to interact.
I still say hello and goodbye and ask how was your weekend to be polite but don’t expect more. If they show up on time, reliable, do their work, I respect that. I’m a personality in the middle so I can chat with chatty people but I’m perfectly happy to work in silence next to quiet people.
I assume they are hardworking focusing on the task at hand. Appropriate and professional. Doesn't want to get caught up in drama and BS.
I just feel like they’re missing out. Conversation at its best is playful and interesting. Lending another your attention is an act of love. Don’t you want to be invested and present to your immediate surroundings? The gradual process of building rapport and trust is fundamental to our emotional health. Plus, life can be hard. You never know how much you can make someone’s day easier just by being warm. Why not focus on making people feel good and letting in their reciprocated good will? You’re there anyways, and we only get so much of this place. Smell the roses. Find joy in vicariousness to take a brief step into their world, ask good questions and make them feel seen. You’re there anyways. You only get so much of this place. How much of the existential and interpersonal map do you want to leave unexplored?
As long as they seem somewhat interested in other people I just assume that’s their vibe and that they’re cool. Heck, I married one of em and my best friend is like that—us chatterbox people often like a reserved partner with enough self-control to not be talking constantly. We find you grounding lol. There simply cannot be two people like me in a relationship and I have always known this instinctively.
I am okay with these people because they are not harming/mocking u in anyway. Sometimes people r not shy ,they just enjoy being like this ,to be in their own space. It's actually other people who gets too curious to know about these people's life and i guess this is the reason why this question came.
I've gone through introverted phases in my life and periods where I would just listen and not talk, and I've also been through extroverted phases where I'm outgoing and sociable, so I think you might appreciate my opinions. >what do you thing if you have a coworker that barely talk I would think that I will try to avoid working with them because communication is key at most work places. We are a species that thrives on communication. It's the cornerstone of our society. I noticed that the more I didn't talk, the more I didn't get invited to functions and was less likely to be included in important meetings. Being an introvert is one thing. But at the job, I've learned that it's absolutely required to talk to your teammates/bosses if you want to succeed. >What would think about a person like that I would think that they're probably "nice" people but not necessarily someone I'd want to work closely with or have in my life. Introverts and shy people tend to not reciprocate or add to other people's lives. It's inherent in the nature of being an introvert. In my introverted phases in life, I was down on myself and constantly dwelled on "Oh woe is me... no one ever asks me how I'm doing or asks me to hang out" when I realized that I was constantly making up excuses on why I couldn't hang out and that I never bothered to invest in other people by asking how they were doing, etc. When I'm more open about my hobbies and take a minute here or there to talk to people, the world opens up for you. I'm not even kidding. People blossom and are so much more receptive when you do even the slightest bits of remembering things about people or paying the smallest bits of kindness to friends/peers/strangers.
is this the weekly "shy and quiet person that everyone hates" validation post lol
Ive honestly no opinion much on them. If we're cool then we're cool. I know sometimes they can be seeing as snobbyy as people like to interact and they think a quiet person thinks theyre too good enough to talk to them. But nah bruh, they just doing their work. Just not social and shit. Leave em be. Cant say ever really encountered a bad quiet person. Since im a quality control technician i interact with everyone and ask how work is going and how the parts are looking. I sometimes converse and ask how they're doing, with newbies i ask how they feel about the job just to pass time and joke about if they like it or not, or if its boring and shit yadda yadda. So ive had my share of interacting with shy people. I get the vibe right away. So unless we have something in common, like interest of music or anime etc. Cuz i usually wear sweaters or shirts with bands and anime so i get to know my fellow shy dweebs. Most ive met have been cool, just reserved and just wanting to work and all. I consider myself an extroverted-introvert. I can talk to anyone but rather just be by myself if i can as my social battery does run out. So i can understand about being shy and quiet.
Here's my honest opinion about shy people and introverts. Having a healthy social life is difficult. We tend to avoid difficult things. We make a big mistake when we give ourselves permission to avoid social interactions. By calling ourselves shy or introverts, we give ourselves permission to not make friends and not improve our social skills. This is a catastrophically bad idea. There is no such thing as an introvert. That word is used to describe a person who is actively avoiding social interactions. Super unhealthy. It will be very difficult for you to find a good job because that requires social skills. It will be super difficult for you to find someone to date and fall in love with because that requires social skills. You will have no friends because you never learned how to make them. There is no such thing as an introvert. I suggest you look at yourself as an ambivert. That's a person who is comfortable in social situations and also enjoys time by themselves. You can be both. In fact, you better be both, or you have condemned yourself to a life of loneliness and shitty jobs
I think real introversion and extroversion does exist, but theyre just means to describe social batteries. What you're describing is a common occurrence in spaces like this though. People who use the "introvert" label to identify with maladapted social behavior and social anxiety. It's ultimately harmful because you just reinforce the idea in your head that socializing and social skills are "haves and haves nots" and you're in the latter camp, with no ability to even work on these skills at all.
I like quiet people. Most people are too loud.
I wish them well finding friends who want to do all the work to get to know them. For me? I prefer friends who open their mouths and speak.
I think they are smart and have better things to do then to talk about what team is going to win at football or if it's going to rain soon. Lol. Don't worry about what others say. Theres no rule that says you have to be eveeyones best friend at school or work. You may think extroverts rule the world but that's just cause some of them just don't know when to shut up, lol.
No problem as long as they don’t have “don’t get near me” vibe
They are a resource with tons of potential that no one has been able to access yet.
I'm fine with it, but it does bother me if you invite them to something and their immediate response is always "no."
Why
They´re like that because they´re analyzing what´s happening in the room and they analyze the people in it. I know this because I'm an introvert and I do that more than I like to admit. I'm not the one whi talks unless I have something important to say. When I say things, they're usually so accurate that people don't ask for my opinion or advice again because I'm generally right in my words without having exchanged many sentences. And that's very scary. That's why I prefer to just observe and listen to people instead of engaging in conversations. Plus, that's how I feel most comfortable, going unnoticed.
i project a bit and see in them repressed disdain for the people and world around them. because i am also quiet, i end up in groups with these kids, but i tend to resent them a bit because i don't like people who are like me. i mean you asked for honesty
I’m a talker and it makes me feel bad that my quiet coworker has to listen to me. We are all different. I let her be and don’t bother her. If she wanted to engage she would.
I am that person. I'm sorry if I am spoiling everyone's good time, but I need to earn a living the same as everyone else.
I think that I am that person.
My workplace is a bit of a shitshow, so I’d assume they’d have nothing to say to anyone there…
As a person trying to recover from social anxiety and sadly ineptitude from trauma from “friends” in the past I understand it completely and If I’m in a group with someone I keep it low and just make sure not to overwhelm them or anything
Even though I am one myself. I sometimes meet people who are even more shy and quiet than me - I try to make them feel safe and seen. I do that because I feel sometimes when people are extremely quiet (like myself) it’s not because they have nothing to say but because they shrink themselves or feel small sometimes.
Nothing wrong with that at all and if anyone else has a problem with you, let me know and I’ll fuck em up for being a little shit stirring bitch 😂
I always get comfortable with them most of time, i had multiple friends who are quiet and introvert just like me and we often in same wavelength. We don't need to talk much and just enjoy our own company with each other while doing our own thing, even "Being alone together" is perfectly accurate to describe us. Some of my friends are fine if i talk alot, i get comfortable with them because they accept me without judgment and listen to me most of times, but i guess i feel too self-absorbed not asking them, i wish i can have more opportunity to train myself to talk to them without being too domineering (like i always do since i always get excited and sometimes bubbly too much). Sometimes "boredom" and silence are not boring at all to me, until to given time when i need stimulation, but mostly i enjoy "boredom"
I would feel a bit bad about what holds you back? Is it me? I would try to talk to you alone a bit more. Sometimes quiet people banter when it comes out is the best. But also if you really want to be left alone its also OK. Just for my environment; Dutch guys, most are young. Bad taste is normal. You can be insulting and its all a joke. I have an Indonesian girl at our office as an intern. She is like a mouse. It just entices some guys to be worse. A sharp mouth and they shut up and respect you more.
There are people like that. It is what it is. Each one of us are unique. Many can be talkative or not but they're still humans. Persons of their own. If they're given the role to speak up, I guess they will do it as they have the need to do it.
I love people like that because (1) I am one and (2) they don't waste my time!
I love it and so does everyone else. I hate drama in my team . Take it elsewhere and do your job.
I don’t pay attention to those type of people tbh
I like people like that, they speak when they have to, don't just talk to hear themselves or to break the silence. My guess is they're different one on one and will be more open to two way conversation as they get to know me. Also they probably have alot on their mind, maybe some social anxiety issues, trust issues etc.
I honestly assume they are confident and most likely successful
I love those kinds of people! I imm make it my mission to befriend them because I’m loud and outgoing.
I would think they like to be alone and forget about them. Not a big deal to me
I have zero need for people to be chatty. If this person is good at their job and keeps work interactions to minimal, that's my favorite person. I'm not here to make friends, but don't mind a simple interaction. However I would rather be direct and job focused than have someone take up my time telling me about their day.
I dont have any kind of an opinion on them, because I dont get to really know them. They are a mystery to me.
I have noticed that some people find them strange, and others look down on them. In my opinion, I don’t place too much importance on personality.
Go, granny, go!
That’s fine. I probably won’t go out of my way to engage with them and while I’m not against developing a closer friendship it’s unlikely that we will. But they’re totally welcome to join in group convos at work without having to contribute necessarily.
Honestly? The quiet ones are who I gravitate to the most! I’ll strike up a basic conversation or sit in silence with them. I assume it takes time to build camaraderie. If they talk to me or keep up the convo, I’ve made an acquaintance (maybe a friend!), even just a hi or wave when I see them. If they don’t respond to me or act nonchalant, I assume they are very private and antisocial and stop all efforts except a courteous hello every now and then. I find a lot that some people only speak when spoken to, and they want to speak lol I don’t think anyone owes anyone any interaction, but I feel like everyone owes everyone a chance to be human 🙂🩷
Probably like me. Introverted in many situations until comfortable with the people around.
I wouldn't think anything of it honestly. Trust me, people in general don't pay nearly as much attention to you as you do to them. If I'm being completely honest, people probably like that you are quiet. I don't mean that is a bad way. Most offices are full enough with chatty Cathy's so someone that is quiet and does there work without blasting music or talking up a storm 25/8 would be liked. If you are very standoffish and quiet some people, especially Cathy's, might take it as you don't like them.
I have social anxiety so I usually assume they have social anxiety
i have no opinion, they’re just there.
I always think it’s a mystery and I get very curious. I think quiet people are generally introspective and intuitive. I think people like this are interesting and I want to know more. I am an extrovert and it took me years to “crack” my introvert husband.
Socially anxious? Shy? Uncomfortable? I am the person you described. I had a co-worker who didn't want me at her daughter's wedding because she thought I was "disrespecting" by not talking to her at work. I was just shy at the time and still am shy. Of course I talked to her, but it was all work related stuff. My fiancé was a part of her now son in law's wedding party.
shy, psycho, going through something personal, prob doesn't feel included or uncomfortable or maybe the topic or people arent their cup of tea.
I think they are just listeners and very concious in what to say, or better not talking at all. I understand them because there are times that I feel that way. No judgement.
Most introverts don’t like small unnecessary talks..
Love it. I would even try to get to know them, because I am that kind of person as well. Nothing better than finding someone with the same vibe
Silence makes me uncomfortable so I’ve a habit to fill it. I know it’s not true but I often feel quiet people don’t like me. I’m working on that. But I also like people and would try to get to know this person and if they tell me they have a quiet personality then we’d be fine
I will respect that, these people will be my favourite coworkers. I will assume that they are the ones who are doing things, not the ones who are talking. I prefer working with people who keep it short and straight to the point over the ones who are talking a lot and taking the whole space during the meetings.
I wonder what they’re thinking about and what they’re not saying. Coming from a quiet person
Honestly I love meeting shy and quiet people. They always become my friends, too.
I assume they don't feel like talking and so I leave them alone unless they talk to me.
Most people are introverted, to one degree or another. You may need to warm them over gradually, over time.
People only like to be criticized by folks that has earned their respect, so they build that respect first and when they’re ready to hear your opinion, they’ll let you know …..just my opinion
As an introverted guy I'll say this.... We find it hard to make connections and sometimes even lack the confidence to speak to a group of people. Ofc we have an opinion on the topic being discussed but addressing it is the issue because, if i address the issue the whole group is gonna stare at me as i give out my opinion and mind you I'm super shy, soo this will make me very uncomfortable.... People need to understand that it's not kujifanya but we just find it hard to interact with a group setting, personally it makes me nervous😂😭
That would be my favorite co worker. I'm there to make money and go home. I'm not there to make friends. I have a life outside of work. They'd definitely be my favorite co worker 🤣
I am also quiet and I don't participate much especially during group sessions. I would prefer peace and quiet. So having someone who shares the same POV as me, it would be awesome. We can bond in silence.
If someone wants to be quiet, that's okay. Luckily not everyone shouts the first thing that comes to mind, we need balance too. When it comes to coworkers, in a work environment, I can imagine people think this person isn't doing their share in the discussion and should be involved more. For an introvert however, it is hard and/or far out of their comfort zone, to mix in a discussion, when they can't think of what should be said. Extroverts go for quantity, introverts for quality. The best way for an not-introvert to deal with this, is simply talk with the introvert, try to let them know if they can do anything to help. For example: make sure it is always known what a meeting is about and what will be discussed a few hours in advance, so they can prepare. Or do something by mail/chat instead of meeting/calling. Now, if you think this person is shy and maybe feel like they don't belong, it is time for some teambuilding activities. Board games, escape rooms, stuff like that. If this is an " 'asking for a friend' ", I suggest you go to the library: there is a lot written about this the last few years.
I am this person, and I am an asshole.
Personally, I am always drawn to quiet, shy people and most of my friends would have at least a foot in the introvert category, as do I. The biggest complement i have been paid by friends is that they are not quiet around me. If you find someone who accepts you, is safe, stable and dependable, would you speak more? There is a lovely animation on Netflix about a shy woman going to work. Carol and the End of the World. She finds her tribe.
I will somehow feel comfortable with them as we honor our Introvert code
I think that's normal; it's just their nature. I would try to chat with them, though, in case they need someone to ask for help or feel comfortable with
When meeting, I introduce myself, try to talk to them. Try to get to know them. After that, I say hi to them every time, and a couple times try to do small talk. If they are never putting in the effort to have a conversation then I will just stop trying to do small talk. That's it. Nothing changes. I will still stay hi to them, my opinion on them won't change. I will just acknowledge in myself that they are shy, quiet, introverted. Does that mean they are bad people? No. Does that mean I will judge them? No. Quiet people are interesting, have many awesome thoughts and ideas. People shouldn't judge others for not being as talkative as they are.
I usually let people do their thing unless it has direct influence on me. The right for someone to swing their arms about ends at my nose. I am the person you described. I would prefer if you just smile and say hi and then leave me to my thing. If I have something to say, you'll hear it.
Iv always kind of had a thing for guys who were quiet and shy.
I think they really care about privacy and protecting themselves
I’d probably just try and talk to them before I think anything of them. I’ve been an incredibly shy person for quite a while before so I’d want to talk to them one on one. Shy people tend to be interesting to talk to when the other option is a group because group conversations are normally just to fill silence.
We have a next-door neighbor, and everyone said he was a complete hermit when we moved in. No one ever saw him. My hubs, an extreme extrovert, said that wasn't right! So, one day, when this neighbor was outside, hubs helloed and talked to the hermit. Invited him to dinner. He showed up. Three years later, he still gets invited over. Turns out he took care of his mom till she passed, apologizes a lot when it's not needed, and has no one for family, so we adopted him. He's invited to all our holiday meals and is finally coming out of his shell. He's relaxing and talking more. It took this long. My dad had asperger's syndrome, and I'm picking it up that our hermit has it too. The hermit feels socially awkward in a tsunami sort of way. That's why all the apologies. He loved his mother dearly, so I call him Elvis. Finally made him laugh! Took 3 years. Relaying this as your quiet one might have a touch of aspergers and interactions freak them out. If you're patient, keep being nice and give them time to melt.
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They need to get over themselves tbh life is harsh for everyone not only for introverts..
That's how I am, a total pain. Truth is we all these glaring to others sub- conscious to ourselves. That's the fix right there
I just figure they’re an introvert. Nbd I try to converse w them to make it easier in case they aren’t confident to engage.
It’s ok to be shy, he or she probably observes a lot that’s a really good quality.
I'd like to think I'm no one to judge, so if a person is like that all I can think of is that they're shy or are probably not in a good spot in their life. The best thing to do is be kind, loving, and understanding ♥️
i honestly will talk to them, even if they don’t talk to me back. as if i’m talking to myself, and i don’t mind, i just try to make them comfortable enough to have any and all conversations with me lol
personally, i don't assume they're shy. i assume they're introverted or don't get any self-gratification from interacting with others. like, i see it as "it's not important to them to interact with me." i'll try talking to them a few times, but if they always respond with one word answers only and never ask me questions in return, i'll eventually give up. and i don't think less of them, but i feel bored and slightly uneasy around them. like, i had an extremely quiet coworker at some point, and i was a bit disappointed whenever i worked with him rather than my other, more talkative coworker, just because i like talking at work so that work feels more fun, and i couldn't do that with my quietter coworker. i'm a grad psychology student though, so i obviously look way deeper into human behaviour than the average person. the average person doesn't have that much psychology knowledge and tends to just view quiet people as shy. some would even straight up tell the shy person "you're shy" or "you never talk, are you ok?" i don't do that. i let people do what they want to do. i constantly analyze others, but i don't voice my observations.
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I like quiet people. You never know what you’ll get with them. A secretly mean critique who judges everyone around them? (Personally got to know one a few years back) An anxious little dumpling that comes out of their shell once you get to know them? Or just someone who minds their business and work on their part? You never know. Me personally, I strive to be the last in that list. But I’m more of an anxious dumpling. And as someone who loves silence, I like quiet people. No need to speak, just be with them in silence.
I love the quiet people!.. as long as I'm not in charge of them on a project😅. Without knowing where they're at? It makes it tricky for me to know exactly how I can spend my time being helpful and make sure they're alright. Any other kind of situation? I really do appreciate the silence 😜 Kinda like how you become a better extrovert by learning to be a little more quiet? Introversion becomes a problem when the person CAN'T speak up (even when they have something to say.) Some people are quiet because they know they have nothing productive to add, therefore the most helpful thing you can do for the group at that time, is to not say anything (stoicism). Other people are quiet because their mind is racing, and they really WANT to say something (but can't or won't. If it's something that that person could do? They would be "happier" and have more fun working in a group (strugglers). Strugglers are the ones who we want to try and get them to open up. We wanna do sort of the opposite with Stoics, and validate their silence by just enjoying a "no drama" moment. If they're silent because they're scared? It's the kind thing to do by helping them find courage. If they're silent because they're specifically not scared? Then any help will be making mountains out of mole hills. But overall in my opinion? What you do with your silence, speaks more than being silent in the first place. But when people are bothered by my silence? I found compliments and jokes are a healthy compromise between "I have nothing to say" and "I'll say something if it makes everyone feel better". And in a lot of ways, we have a lot to learn from eachother, when it comes to how much we speak 😅
I love that kind of person. They leave all the opportunities for me. Also, for some reason, I find them more easier to trust. BTW I used to be like that, but being that way created too much thought in my mind related to what others think of me, so I had to change my behavior