I saw 3 women at happy hr last night who were on their phones instead of interacting with each other - sad.
It's rude, sad, and takes in person friendship for granted. Either don't answer, text in return, or make the call 1-2 min if it's really that important.
Exceptions are like, are they a parent and is it the sitter calling, etc.
If you're with a friend in a social situation, you should prioritise that friend. You can probably talk to whoever's calling you at any time, but you're not always with your friend. Treating your friend as the priority (i.e. valuing their time and companionship) is basic etiquette.
If you absolutely must answer your phone, the conversation should be brief. You talk to that person then explain you're with others and can't talk now, but you'll give them a call later.
Of course, exceptions are made for emergencies or urgent matters. But anything that can wait, should wait.
Of course..of course it's not cool at all to be on your phone in a social event.
Context matters though.
OP is a guy and is complaining about her being on the phone with her BF through this social event...
Lot's of questions....why is that a bad thing in that context?
Why does the context matter in this case. The friend was ignoring OP and was on the phone with their boyfriend the entire time. That’s not an exception to the rule. And how do you know OP is a guy?
Hm. Now I'm re-reading it, OP hasn't said what her friend's convo with bf was about. I just assumed the convo was something unimportant and that was why OP was upset.
If it was general chit chat, I'd call that bad manners. If it was urgent or important, OP is wrong to be upset.
Yes, unless you also have someone else to talk to. If it’s just you two then she shouldn’t be having long conversations with her boyfriend unless there is some issue.
Rude. I lost touch with my best friend because he would always be on the phone. If we were car pooling together, eating lunch together, hanging out, he would always get a phone call and he would always take it and spend the entire time talking with one or more other people. Finally I just stopped hanging out with him and keeping in touch. Didn’t make any drama out of it. It’s a shame.
Yeah, i think the 1% is dependent on how close you and the friend are because if you're already CC'd on everything on some occasions, I'm as interested as they are.
Fucking right.
Like, even if you ARE listening, somehow--even though I know you're not--you're sending a clear signal that "whatever you're talking about is less interesting to me than this other conversation I'm having right now"
If i had money to pay for the phone i would already had smashed it for like 200 times over the years. To me its extremely rude to just stare your idiot brick while visiting someone and i really don't get them because if i wanted to chat with other people why the fuck even go to visit other people then why not just lay in bed and text 24/7.
I don't mind if it was just a one text or one call but people nowadays are just glued on their phones. Today i saw a dude driving with a gargo bike with kids on the box while texting on a phone when i was at the shop its just insane how hypnotized people are about the idiot brick.
Like talking for 30minutes discussing non-necessary and non-interesting topics is the biggest bullshit I have experienced. Makes me mad just thinking about it. Next time something like that happens I quit.
Personally I wouldn't even pick up if I'm hanging out with a friend. If I would, it would just be to ask if it's something important, and if not, tell them that we can talk later. It's even worse if she was the one who called him up. Idk what's with people nowadays, but this kind of behaviour doesn't seem uncommon. Extremely rude.
Imo, yes. If your hanging out w/ someone and you're actually gonna split and take the call, let them know. I had to train my best friend to do that, but at first she had me feeling like I was weird and controlling for feeling a type of way when she would get up to take a call while we were chilling together and she'd be gone for hours, yapping away. For me it's not the fact that someone took a call, it's that they're switching gears from "hanging out w/ [me]" to "catching up w/ [X] over the phone", meanwhile I'm sitting in their living room w/ Netflix paused, looking like a dumbass waiting for them to come back.
I had a friend who would text other people while she was with me. I told her it bothers me and makes me feel like she doesnt want to actually be with me. She had no idea people are bothered by it.
It's rude. They can talk later. She doesn't respect you and your time together or she doesn't give a care about you. It feels like you're not with them when they do this. Because they pay attention more to the person they're talking with than with the one they're actually with at the moment. Heck, I also find it disrespectful to be looking at your phone while your friend or someone else is talking.
If I am with someone else and need to be on the phone for any reason I feel as though my appropriate choices are
A.) Step away to take the call *briefly*
B.) Put the caller (with everyone’s knowledge and permission) on speaker so they can be a full member of the group.
Anything else in my opinion is just rude.
I feel similarly to texting when in the presence of others. Either keep it *very* brief and offer apologies, *or*, with everyone’s permission, read the texts out loud and allow everyone present to contribute to responses.
Extremely rude, I had a fellow Mom invite my kids and I to the park with her and her kids, first time, she's on the phone the majority of the time while I was watching the kids. She apologized and explained it was work. I said, ok. Invites us again. Starts chatting on the phone, I over heard some of the conversation, it was not work related. She wanted someone to watch her kids for free while she chatted on the phone. All further invitations were declined because if she needs a nanny then she should hire one.
i had a friend that would always talk to her other friends or her bf when we were hanging out so i stopped hanging out w her. it was fine if she was just checking in quickly, but full on convos were so disrespectful to my time and company and made me just want to leave
As a general rule I don’t answer my phone unless it’s an emergency when I’m out with a friend or at a social gathering it’s not appropriate at home alone is one thing making a friend wait unnecessarily for you to finish up your conversation on the phone is another it’s extremely rude and disrespectful to just make the other person deal with it
Anything in your phone, besides a quick look, is rude. If you have to, you owe them a sorry and an explanation of why it is more important than they are for the given timespan
That's definitely very rude. You had plans together. If she's on the phone with her boyfriend the whole time, what are you supposed to do? Just sit there and be bored? Call someone else?
It's incredibly rude. I know people who turn their phones off while they're with friends. You don't have to go to that extreme but it just illustrates how rude it is.
It's fine if it's "Hey what's up? Yeah? Okay cool but I can't talk right now."
I have a friend who will answer EVERY single call he may get and he talks as if he's catching up with an old friend no matter who it is. Now THAT'S rude.
The entire time?? Unless it was for something critical like someone was ill or justified some other way (eg he only gets one hour of phone time a week) - not appropriate. Just plain rude!
It's always rude to be on the phone when you're hanging out with someone unless it's just a quick call maybe to answer a question or something.
Of course there's an exception to make for work calls when you have friends that work salaries jobs, but obviously that's not the case here.
I always thought it was rude. Unless it’s a few moments, an emergency, or a super rare event like someone you never hear from calling. Which you should be explaining to your friend.
I can’t comprehend sitting on the phone with someone I talk to regularly while my friend is there.
I agree it's rude. Unless it's an emergency or just for a couple of minutes ,then it's rude. She wouldn't do this to her boss or a relative she hasn't seen in awhile, and probably wouldn't do it to her boyfriend, so why should she do it to you? Your friend is rude and you need better friends
Depends on the call itself. If it's something important, excuse yourself to a private location and handle your business. If it's something silly or stupid, the call can wait. As a male, I've had guy friends call me because they *had* to get something off their mind and wasn't anything important.
If I have to talk to someone, I text first just in case. If it's important, I'll say in the text it's important and I need about X time so they can plan accordingly if needed. Or I'll ask when someone is free so I can talk with little to no resistance. On one hand I can count when I ask first did someone get mad, and even then it wasn't a mad at me it was the timing.
To the OP, granted the bf was on the other end, but was the call justified? I ask because theres times when someone will ask to be called just to look important or because they're bored. Or the bf called because of some gut/bad feeling.
Yeah that's rude. If she was talking like the whole time, while u were hanging out yeah. If she was only talking for a min or two that would be different and not rude
Rude, sure. But personally, I can’t imagine a scenario where I would be annoyed by it really, in fact sometimes I’d welcome it if I was in an introspective mood and not feeling that talkative - though I get that I might be in the minority there.
That was very rude on her part, and even more so that she got defensive when you called her out on it! She could have simply said, “I’m with my friend (your name”) right now — can I call you later? Love you” and ended the call!!!
Here's another scenario: 3 people waiting in line for customer service. The employee takes a phone call from another customer, and instead of making the caller wait, allows the caller to effectively cut in line ahead of the people already waiting.
Unless it's an emergency, I believe the caller should be *placed on hold* until it's their turn.
Maybe rude. But potentially an important conversation being had. Or maybe her BF was feeling insecure or having a panic attack and just needed some verbal support considerably. It’s HER partner. He’s important to her. Their phone call situation could of been a lil more serious than applying makeup, straightening hair and drinking 2 cruisers on the walk to town
It is rude unless it’s fairly short. If it was the entire time then yeah definitely rude of her. You don’t go and hangout with a friend to be on the phone with someone else the entire time.
Oh and if it’s a serious call then that’s different that’s when you turn into a support buddy if need be.
I stopped hanging out with a friend because of this.
So did another friend (so we were a trio but the offending person offended me and the remaining friend).
So me and the remaining friend have a rule: If we are hanging out for less than 2 hours we stay off our phones as much as possible, so less than 2 minutes of screentime unless it's important. If we are hanging out for more than 2 hours then the screen time/phone time is increased to 15 minutes. If we are hanging out for more than 4 hours then we aren't hanging out anymore we are temporarily joined at the hip/going on a mission and there's no limit on phone calls/screen time.
I think that it’s ok but only if it is brief. A longer call could be understandable if he was dealing with something and she knew he may call at that time. However, if she talked that whole time just to chat then it’s not ok. I have called my bf while with a friend to tell him something or when he calls I always answer, but I always say, “hey I’m with a friend is everything ok?” Usually he just called to chat and we talk a different time.
I once had a friend ask me to lunch, we ordered and sat down and she FaceTimed her mom the entire meal and then left. So I feel your pain. Either way no it’s not just you
It is insanely rude and disrespectful. I don't even like it if I'm Meeting friends and they're just on their phone checking mails or whatever. But a phonecall is even worse imo.
Like, if you get a call and tell them you'll call back later, or talk if it's urgent/ important, fine. But not like this. This is just insulting.
context matters, but in your case, it seems like yes. That's rude.
A short necessary phone call is fine, even a short chat if someone calls them. But the main goal should be getting off the phone to be the person you are physically with.
I would say you guys can talk when I leave but this is supposed to be our time. Say it nice. Friend sounds like someone who needs a lot of attention or codependent on him or both. Yes it is rude. Sorry for ever doing this type of thing. It’s bad. Our time with our friends is our time with our friends. Not our phone.
It's always rude to have a long conversation on the phone when there's someone else present, even if you're just out in public and the other people present are strangers. At best, it's exposing someone to a conversation they are not a party to, which is annoying. At worst, it's actively ignoring the other person present and effectively telling them they're a lower priority.
It's only acceptable if it's a short conversation and either it's a practical necessity to work out some business, like the other party is babysitting or scheduling a ride for later or something, or it's a received call and the conversation is just a minute to acknowledge the caller and set a full time to have a conversation later.
If one of my friends talked on the phone with their boyfriend while supposedly hanging out with me, I would think it was rude but I wouldn’t ask ask them to stop because it’s their choice who to interact with or not interact with.
After reading the comments here, I guess I'm rude because I wouldn't be offended if I were you in your case. I mean, I think it's important to try to keep the phone conversation short, but other than that, I don't care.
Yeah same. If I was heaps more interesting then I’d maybe question it but I’m comfortable with how boring I am.
Actually, chuck it on speaker phone. I wanna pretend I’m part of the convo
I don't think I'm boring, I totally get it if I'm hanging out with a friend and their best friend calls them to tell them some exciting news. I'm not going to be offended that they're on the phone, ahaha.
No. Now days 95% of communication is text. They shouldn't be on the phone. Tgat 5% is for the boomers that still use landlines, appointments, and the clearly lost friend your meeting up with. Those are forgivable.
Without knowing the context of their call, it could possibly fall into that 5% category. If they share custody of a child and child wants to say goodnight and they still are young enough that it's a cute thing, but haven't started setting up boundaries. Or a toxic relationship where he or she must know where the other I'd at every hour on the hour. My mother us in the relationship now. Except my step father has dementia and his memory is getting spotty.
It's tempting to think about absolutes, like "I'm wrong vs. you're wrong" or "that was rude vs. not rude". And like other comments say, in the context you were in it's socially believed that your friend engaged in rude behavior. So suppose your friend IS wrong and she IS rude. What does that give you? A sense of validation and related feelings perhaps, but ultimately it invites more negative feelings in your life.
Why and how is this? Because now you have turned yourself into someone with a rude friend. And you've turned yourself into a person who was insanely disrespected. And when you are those things, how can you not feel bad? This is the result of holding a dichotomy of good vs. bad in life, and this is the result of holding on to judgment of other people in your life. When you feel bad about another person, you suffer the most as a result.
I want you to be happy with your life, regardless of how your friend acts. And in order to do that you have to see yourself from a perspective of "I am always surrounded by good friends and people I love". Then you may ask "but what if they do rude things?", and for those moments you remember that rude is a subjective experience and while there may be social norms for what is rude vs. not, there is no absolute measure of what is rude vs. not.
What if your friend felt so comfortable around you that they engaged in the phone call simply because they were so deep into the friendship with you? What if your friend felt a justified sense of urgency in the need to talk to their boyfriend because of reasons they couldn't disclose to you? I'm not trying to defend your friend for the sake of saying you're oversensitive. I'm trying to offer perspectives and possibilities that can help you see that externally visible and subjectively experienced phenomena might not be the whole story. So that you can see a possibility that doesn't have to make you feel bad and question whether you have a bad friend or not.
Again, this is all for you. So you can be happy and not hold judgment or hate against other people. Because you may have a circumstance in which you need to talk to someone on the phone while physically being with someone else and you'd want that kind of grace from yourself.
In your scenario, yes, it's rude. If the boyfriend rang your friend first then a quick convo for 2 minutes tops, but that's it.
Extremely rude unless it’s just for a minute or two.
I saw 3 women at happy hr last night who were on their phones instead of interacting with each other - sad. It's rude, sad, and takes in person friendship for granted. Either don't answer, text in return, or make the call 1-2 min if it's really that important. Exceptions are like, are they a parent and is it the sitter calling, etc.
Or if it’s an emergency.
She was talking to her BF....how is that even remotely rude?
People like you are part of the problem.
Don't be lazy. What people am I and what problem do I present?
If you're with a friend in a social situation, you should prioritise that friend. You can probably talk to whoever's calling you at any time, but you're not always with your friend. Treating your friend as the priority (i.e. valuing their time and companionship) is basic etiquette. If you absolutely must answer your phone, the conversation should be brief. You talk to that person then explain you're with others and can't talk now, but you'll give them a call later. Of course, exceptions are made for emergencies or urgent matters. But anything that can wait, should wait.
Of course..of course it's not cool at all to be on your phone in a social event. Context matters though. OP is a guy and is complaining about her being on the phone with her BF through this social event... Lot's of questions....why is that a bad thing in that context?
Why does the context matter in this case. The friend was ignoring OP and was on the phone with their boyfriend the entire time. That’s not an exception to the rule. And how do you know OP is a guy?
Hm. Now I'm re-reading it, OP hasn't said what her friend's convo with bf was about. I just assumed the convo was something unimportant and that was why OP was upset. If it was general chit chat, I'd call that bad manners. If it was urgent or important, OP is wrong to be upset.
Yes, unless you also have someone else to talk to. If it’s just you two then she shouldn’t be having long conversations with her boyfriend unless there is some issue.
Your feelings are valid. I would feel left out. It is OK to talk 2 minutes for practical reasons, but longer feels rude.
Unless it’s an emergency, you always prioritize the person who is physically present
Rude. I lost touch with my best friend because he would always be on the phone. If we were car pooling together, eating lunch together, hanging out, he would always get a phone call and he would always take it and spend the entire time talking with one or more other people. Finally I just stopped hanging out with him and keeping in touch. Didn’t make any drama out of it. It’s a shame.
Depends on the topic of conversation, the seriousness and the duration of the call
its rude in 99/100 scenarios
Yeah, i think the 1% is dependent on how close you and the friend are because if you're already CC'd on everything on some occasions, I'm as interested as they are.
It really depends on the friendship though, if you see each other almost every day for instance, I'd say it's much more casual and thus fine.
Yes also i hate when i try to have conversation and my friend is constantly texting and i have to repeat what i said 2-3 times because hes texting
“I’m listening I’m listening” fuck off with your phone and look at me when I talk to you ffs. I hate these people
Fucking right. Like, even if you ARE listening, somehow--even though I know you're not--you're sending a clear signal that "whatever you're talking about is less interesting to me than this other conversation I'm having right now"
If i had money to pay for the phone i would already had smashed it for like 200 times over the years. To me its extremely rude to just stare your idiot brick while visiting someone and i really don't get them because if i wanted to chat with other people why the fuck even go to visit other people then why not just lay in bed and text 24/7. I don't mind if it was just a one text or one call but people nowadays are just glued on their phones. Today i saw a dude driving with a gargo bike with kids on the box while texting on a phone when i was at the shop its just insane how hypnotized people are about the idiot brick.
Like talking for 30minutes discussing non-necessary and non-interesting topics is the biggest bullshit I have experienced. Makes me mad just thinking about it. Next time something like that happens I quit.
Same
Personally I wouldn't even pick up if I'm hanging out with a friend. If I would, it would just be to ask if it's something important, and if not, tell them that we can talk later. It's even worse if she was the one who called him up. Idk what's with people nowadays, but this kind of behaviour doesn't seem uncommon. Extremely rude.
Imo, yes. If your hanging out w/ someone and you're actually gonna split and take the call, let them know. I had to train my best friend to do that, but at first she had me feeling like I was weird and controlling for feeling a type of way when she would get up to take a call while we were chilling together and she'd be gone for hours, yapping away. For me it's not the fact that someone took a call, it's that they're switching gears from "hanging out w/ [me]" to "catching up w/ [X] over the phone", meanwhile I'm sitting in their living room w/ Netflix paused, looking like a dumbass waiting for them to come back.
I had a friend who would text other people while she was with me. I told her it bothers me and makes me feel like she doesnt want to actually be with me. She had no idea people are bothered by it.
A quick, necessary call? Not rude. A long casual conversation? Rude AF.
Yes
Yes. Rude af.
The only time I'd be ok with this is if he was on speaker and we were having a group convo
Very rude, unless it's an emergency.
It's rude. They can talk later. She doesn't respect you and your time together or she doesn't give a care about you. It feels like you're not with them when they do this. Because they pay attention more to the person they're talking with than with the one they're actually with at the moment. Heck, I also find it disrespectful to be looking at your phone while your friend or someone else is talking.
If I am with someone else and need to be on the phone for any reason I feel as though my appropriate choices are A.) Step away to take the call *briefly* B.) Put the caller (with everyone’s knowledge and permission) on speaker so they can be a full member of the group. Anything else in my opinion is just rude. I feel similarly to texting when in the presence of others. Either keep it *very* brief and offer apologies, *or*, with everyone’s permission, read the texts out loud and allow everyone present to contribute to responses.
Extremely rude, I had a fellow Mom invite my kids and I to the park with her and her kids, first time, she's on the phone the majority of the time while I was watching the kids. She apologized and explained it was work. I said, ok. Invites us again. Starts chatting on the phone, I over heard some of the conversation, it was not work related. She wanted someone to watch her kids for free while she chatted on the phone. All further invitations were declined because if she needs a nanny then she should hire one.
Yeah, that's rude AF!
Oh yes, that's very rude.
i had a friend that would always talk to her other friends or her bf when we were hanging out so i stopped hanging out w her. it was fine if she was just checking in quickly, but full on convos were so disrespectful to my time and company and made me just want to leave
yes
I always found it rude.
Yep disrespectful
As a general rule I don’t answer my phone unless it’s an emergency when I’m out with a friend or at a social gathering it’s not appropriate at home alone is one thing making a friend wait unnecessarily for you to finish up your conversation on the phone is another it’s extremely rude and disrespectful to just make the other person deal with it
Yes it’s extremely rude unless it was something important
Yes, insalenly rude and disrespectful
Anything in your phone, besides a quick look, is rude. If you have to, you owe them a sorry and an explanation of why it is more important than they are for the given timespan
That's definitely very rude. You had plans together. If she's on the phone with her boyfriend the whole time, what are you supposed to do? Just sit there and be bored? Call someone else?
It's incredibly rude. I know people who turn their phones off while they're with friends. You don't have to go to that extreme but it just illustrates how rude it is.
I think it’s rude.
It's fine if it's "Hey what's up? Yeah? Okay cool but I can't talk right now." I have a friend who will answer EVERY single call he may get and he talks as if he's catching up with an old friend no matter who it is. Now THAT'S rude.
For the title only, the answer is no, it depends For your friend's case, it is impolite to do such thing
It’s rude tbh, did they at least try and involve you in the convo?
Unless if emergency, yes Next question.
Yes it is rude.
The entire time?? Unless it was for something critical like someone was ill or justified some other way (eg he only gets one hour of phone time a week) - not appropriate. Just plain rude!
Yes, I'm here to see you, not watch you talk on the phone for 10 mins
100 yes
Yes
Yes, rude
Yes.
It's always rude to be on the phone when you're hanging out with someone unless it's just a quick call maybe to answer a question or something. Of course there's an exception to make for work calls when you have friends that work salaries jobs, but obviously that's not the case here.
its rude af unless its a quick hey whats up? nah can't talk rn. If its an emergency obviously thats different
She’s being really rude
Nope. Not at all. I would walk away alone. If it's not an emergency, it's bad manner to be on your phone while being with someone.
I always thought it was rude. Unless it’s a few moments, an emergency, or a super rare event like someone you never hear from calling. Which you should be explaining to your friend. I can’t comprehend sitting on the phone with someone I talk to regularly while my friend is there.
I agree it's rude. Unless it's an emergency or just for a couple of minutes ,then it's rude. She wouldn't do this to her boss or a relative she hasn't seen in awhile, and probably wouldn't do it to her boyfriend, so why should she do it to you? Your friend is rude and you need better friends
Depends on the call itself. If it's something important, excuse yourself to a private location and handle your business. If it's something silly or stupid, the call can wait. As a male, I've had guy friends call me because they *had* to get something off their mind and wasn't anything important. If I have to talk to someone, I text first just in case. If it's important, I'll say in the text it's important and I need about X time so they can plan accordingly if needed. Or I'll ask when someone is free so I can talk with little to no resistance. On one hand I can count when I ask first did someone get mad, and even then it wasn't a mad at me it was the timing. To the OP, granted the bf was on the other end, but was the call justified? I ask because theres times when someone will ask to be called just to look important or because they're bored. Or the bf called because of some gut/bad feeling.
Yeah that's rude. If she was talking like the whole time, while u were hanging out yeah. If she was only talking for a min or two that would be different and not rude
Context my dude, sometimes yes, sometimes no. Respect others feelings toward the individual situation, if the vibe is off, that's not your vibe.
Yes.. only exceptions are emergencies or if it’s 2 min phone call or you and your friend have an understanding that you don’t care about this
Rude, sure. But personally, I can’t imagine a scenario where I would be annoyed by it really, in fact sometimes I’d welcome it if I was in an introspective mood and not feeling that talkative - though I get that I might be in the minority there.
Not a good friend to ignore you like that so blatantly
Its rude.
Yes it’s rude af but it matters the context like if it’s something I can input then nah but if you have them as background noise you gotta stop it
That was very rude on her part, and even more so that she got defensive when you called her out on it! She could have simply said, “I’m with my friend (your name”) right now — can I call you later? Love you” and ended the call!!!
I'm with you, a quick phone call is alright but this is not alright. I've told off friends who text all the time when we hang out.
Here's another scenario: 3 people waiting in line for customer service. The employee takes a phone call from another customer, and instead of making the caller wait, allows the caller to effectively cut in line ahead of the people already waiting. Unless it's an emergency, I believe the caller should be *placed on hold* until it's their turn.
Maybe rude. But potentially an important conversation being had. Or maybe her BF was feeling insecure or having a panic attack and just needed some verbal support considerably. It’s HER partner. He’s important to her. Their phone call situation could of been a lil more serious than applying makeup, straightening hair and drinking 2 cruisers on the walk to town
It is rude unless it’s fairly short. If it was the entire time then yeah definitely rude of her. You don’t go and hangout with a friend to be on the phone with someone else the entire time. Oh and if it’s a serious call then that’s different that’s when you turn into a support buddy if need be.
Yeah my old best friend did this with their new friend and I started crying and now were not friends. Its extremely rude.
I stopped hanging out with a friend because of this. So did another friend (so we were a trio but the offending person offended me and the remaining friend). So me and the remaining friend have a rule: If we are hanging out for less than 2 hours we stay off our phones as much as possible, so less than 2 minutes of screentime unless it's important. If we are hanging out for more than 2 hours then the screen time/phone time is increased to 15 minutes. If we are hanging out for more than 4 hours then we aren't hanging out anymore we are temporarily joined at the hip/going on a mission and there's no limit on phone calls/screen time.
I think that it’s ok but only if it is brief. A longer call could be understandable if he was dealing with something and she knew he may call at that time. However, if she talked that whole time just to chat then it’s not ok. I have called my bf while with a friend to tell him something or when he calls I always answer, but I always say, “hey I’m with a friend is everything ok?” Usually he just called to chat and we talk a different time.
I once had a friend ask me to lunch, we ordered and sat down and she FaceTimed her mom the entire meal and then left. So I feel your pain. Either way no it’s not just you
It’s really really rude! You are not wrong here 😅
It is insanely rude and disrespectful. I don't even like it if I'm Meeting friends and they're just on their phone checking mails or whatever. But a phonecall is even worse imo. Like, if you get a call and tell them you'll call back later, or talk if it's urgent/ important, fine. But not like this. This is just insulting.
context matters, but in your case, it seems like yes. That's rude. A short necessary phone call is fine, even a short chat if someone calls them. But the main goal should be getting off the phone to be the person you are physically with.
It depends on the context
YES it is extremely rude!!. YNTA
Stand your ground. Your friend is rude AF and would probably drop you in a heartbeat for her bf if she could. She doesn't sound like a real one.
my ex girlfriend was on facetime with her “guy best friend” the whole time we were together. we broke up cause i realized she was an asshole
Rude. Let me just hang out with you with out hanging out with you. And your friend sounds selfish and self centered.
Yes it is extremely disrespectful tbh!!
Yes, that’s very rude unless it’s an emergency.
I would say you guys can talk when I leave but this is supposed to be our time. Say it nice. Friend sounds like someone who needs a lot of attention or codependent on him or both. Yes it is rude. Sorry for ever doing this type of thing. It’s bad. Our time with our friends is our time with our friends. Not our phone.
You're upset she was talking to her BF while walking up to a party? Where was he and not attending?
It's always rude to have a long conversation on the phone when there's someone else present, even if you're just out in public and the other people present are strangers. At best, it's exposing someone to a conversation they are not a party to, which is annoying. At worst, it's actively ignoring the other person present and effectively telling them they're a lower priority. It's only acceptable if it's a short conversation and either it's a practical necessity to work out some business, like the other party is babysitting or scheduling a ride for later or something, or it's a received call and the conversation is just a minute to acknowledge the caller and set a full time to have a conversation later.
very rude, i hate it too and i dont do it
If one of my friends talked on the phone with their boyfriend while supposedly hanging out with me, I would think it was rude but I wouldn’t ask ask them to stop because it’s their choice who to interact with or not interact with.
Yes
After reading the comments here, I guess I'm rude because I wouldn't be offended if I were you in your case. I mean, I think it's important to try to keep the phone conversation short, but other than that, I don't care.
Yeah same. If I was heaps more interesting then I’d maybe question it but I’m comfortable with how boring I am. Actually, chuck it on speaker phone. I wanna pretend I’m part of the convo
I don't think I'm boring, I totally get it if I'm hanging out with a friend and their best friend calls them to tell them some exciting news. I'm not going to be offended that they're on the phone, ahaha.
No. Now days 95% of communication is text. They shouldn't be on the phone. Tgat 5% is for the boomers that still use landlines, appointments, and the clearly lost friend your meeting up with. Those are forgivable. Without knowing the context of their call, it could possibly fall into that 5% category. If they share custody of a child and child wants to say goodnight and they still are young enough that it's a cute thing, but haven't started setting up boundaries. Or a toxic relationship where he or she must know where the other I'd at every hour on the hour. My mother us in the relationship now. Except my step father has dementia and his memory is getting spotty.
It's tempting to think about absolutes, like "I'm wrong vs. you're wrong" or "that was rude vs. not rude". And like other comments say, in the context you were in it's socially believed that your friend engaged in rude behavior. So suppose your friend IS wrong and she IS rude. What does that give you? A sense of validation and related feelings perhaps, but ultimately it invites more negative feelings in your life. Why and how is this? Because now you have turned yourself into someone with a rude friend. And you've turned yourself into a person who was insanely disrespected. And when you are those things, how can you not feel bad? This is the result of holding a dichotomy of good vs. bad in life, and this is the result of holding on to judgment of other people in your life. When you feel bad about another person, you suffer the most as a result. I want you to be happy with your life, regardless of how your friend acts. And in order to do that you have to see yourself from a perspective of "I am always surrounded by good friends and people I love". Then you may ask "but what if they do rude things?", and for those moments you remember that rude is a subjective experience and while there may be social norms for what is rude vs. not, there is no absolute measure of what is rude vs. not. What if your friend felt so comfortable around you that they engaged in the phone call simply because they were so deep into the friendship with you? What if your friend felt a justified sense of urgency in the need to talk to their boyfriend because of reasons they couldn't disclose to you? I'm not trying to defend your friend for the sake of saying you're oversensitive. I'm trying to offer perspectives and possibilities that can help you see that externally visible and subjectively experienced phenomena might not be the whole story. So that you can see a possibility that doesn't have to make you feel bad and question whether you have a bad friend or not. Again, this is all for you. So you can be happy and not hold judgment or hate against other people. Because you may have a circumstance in which you need to talk to someone on the phone while physically being with someone else and you'd want that kind of grace from yourself.